Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Muddy water splashed at my pants as I trudged through the back alley to where I’d been camping out for the past year. The cold seeped deep into my bones and made my arm ache where I had broken it some years ago. I hated the cold. I hated just about everything in this God forsaken city.

It was supposed to be spring, but all that meant was more rain tacked onto the seemingly never ending winter. It’s not like there were any trees around but if there were, they’d still be dead and barren. No one put much effort into the bad side of the city. No plants or trees or bushes to line the highways, just more and more cracked cement, barred windows, and abandoned buildings.

Fortunately, that’s what made it so easy for me to find places to camp out without the cops constantly badgering me. Recently the main streets and good side of town had added spikes on the ground outside the storefronts, and arm rails on benches so you could never find a place to sleep- built to drive the homeless out. And if that didn’t do it, the police sure did. But they always ignored us around here. As long as you weren’t being an eyesore for the “upperclassman” and the “true members of society” they usually leave you well alone. Fine by me. I always preferred being alone anyway.

I started running into a sprint and leaped into the air, grabbing the old iron fire escape ladder and pulling myself up. My room was on the second to highest floor. It was more climbing to do when you’re tired but I’d always liked heights- easier to see everything.

I finally stepped through my window and flopped onto my bare mattress with a grateful sigh. Slipping off my backpack, I rummaged through it and grabbed a collection of newspapers. I rifled through it looking for job opportunities but found nothing I qualified for. I groaned, abandoning the newspapers on the cement ground and thumping my head against the wall.

A quiet thump and rustling onto the crumpled newspapers grabbed my attention and I reached out for my cat, sighing. “I’m screwed, Church.”

“Meow.”

“I lost my job today,” I said, shoulders slumping. He stared at me judgmentally.

“Hey, it’s not my fault!” I shouted defensively. “They told me they were going to do a background check; how was I to know they wouldn’t get around to it for 2 months? I thought they’d already done it and decided to hire me anyway!”

“Meow.”

I groaned again and flopped onto my back. “I hate it when you’re right.”

This new job had been the way out of it all. The answer to everything. Stable pay, overtime, and a heated space to get away from the cold and the rain. The fact that I’d lost it made my chest ache and eyes burn and I blinked rapidly, refusing to lose my composure. Church settled on top of me, purrs rumbling my chest. I sighed and buried my face into his fur.

I had saved up two months worth of rent, and that was it. That was enough for first and last month's rent at an apartment and nothing else. I would have to get a new job before I got an apartment so I was stuck in this cement hellhole with nothing but an old mattress for a little longer. “Just a little longer,” I told myself. “It’s not so bad, just a little longer.”

Chapter Text

The sunrise came and with it, a new day. I blearily squinted at the bright glare and groaned as my aching back protested and popped as I stretched. Church immediately began smothering me as if to remind me that I’d been awake for more than 30 seconds and his food bowl was still empty. 

“I know, I know! I’m working on it!”

I heaved myself up and cracked open a can that was quickly devoured. “Salmon and cheese? Really? You would eat just about anything, wouldn’t you?”

The quick sound of chewing stopped and his eyes stared back at me, as if offended. Ignoring my own aching stomach, I grabbed my backpack and climbed out of the open window. In this area, you never left anything important laying around if you could help it, and while no one has found my hideout so far, I wasn’t about to trust it. 

I made my way through the crumbling cement and graffiti coated walls until I’d reached the more industrial part of the city. So many factories were in this area that the sky was almost gray from smog and the air always smelt of burning oil and gas. It was not a popular place for houses or apartments, but there were the occasional residential streets, one of which Jace lived. 

Approaching the small rickety house, I knelt down and picked up a black piece off the overgrown grass. A small sigh blew from my lips. Another shingle. I threw it aside and crept around the side of the house. The entire thing was painted in a burnt red color that always reminded me of blood. The window squeaked in protest as I forced it open and shimmied across the wet grass and into the basement. 

“My grandmother works on Sunday’s, you know. You can actually use the front door instead of clambering in through the window like a really bad burglar.”

I threw a grin at my friend who was sitting cross legged on his bed. Golden strands hung in his eyes. What appeared to be a cheesy soap opera played on an ancient square and clunky tv against the opposite wall. His grandmother, Imogen, absolutely hated me and still refused to learn my name after five years, calling me his “delinquent friend”. She threw a fit any time she saw me in the house and would accuse him of trying to take me in like a stray cat, so we had long since adopted the habit of just being really good at going undetected.

“I’m so used to coming in like this, now I’ve just got to commit. I’ll be sneaking in when we’re both old men. I’ll tap on the window with my cane to get your attention.”

“Oh god,” he laughed, throwing his head back. “That’s an image. I better be out of this dumpster fire by then or I’m cancelling my life subscription.”

“Wait-” I paused, eyes widening. “I signed up for a subscription? I better not be paying or someone is getting sued.”

“Yes, with all that money,” he teased. “Though, now that you have a job, maybe you’ll get there now!”

My grin faltered and I glanced around the room, avoiding his eyes. ”Yeah, about that…. I-”

His expression slackened as he caught sight of the tv, misunderstanding my stare. “Oh! I was watching something else- and- you know, this just came on. I was about to change it but then you came in through the window and...yeah..” His laugh was obviously forced.

I nodded my head very seriously. “Mmhmm. A likely story. We both know you were waiting to find out if the Brazilian air pilot or the boyfriend is the real father of the baby.”

His mouth fell open. “You watch this show?”

“So you were watching it!” 

He three his hands in the air. “I was not! I- okay, I was watching it but I only have like 10 channels. Stop judging me! How do you know anything about this show anyway?”

“It’s a soap opera. Lucky guess.”

His face flushed red and he grabbed the remote, shutting off the tv and quickly changed the subject. “Whatever." He wrinkled his nose. "You stink! When was the last time you washed those clothes? Go take a shower before my grandmother gets off work!” 

I scoffed, offended. “I do not stink. Homeless or not, my hygiene is perfectly fine, thank you very-“ I paused as I sniffed my shirt, and my nose wrinkled as well. He raised a brow and smirked at me. 

“I live in a hovel with a cat. Give me a break,” I grunted as I stalked to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I undressed and unzipped my bag to get my other clothes out. The water rushed out into the yellowed bathtub as I grabbed the bottle of soap and started soaking and scrubbing my clothes until I felt that they were sufficiently clean. I was never able to use the washer or Imogen would find me out so I’d been stuck with washing clothes in the tub. 

After hanging them out to dry on the towel rack, I stepped into the shower and sighed, tilting my face up and running my fingers through my tangled hair. I did not like to accept any form of charity but the one thing I had never been able to refuse is a hot shower. Well- warm shower. Jace didn’t exactly live a life of luxury and the plumbing and heating system was undesirable, to say the least. But a shower was a shower and I would be grateful for whatever I could get. 

After finishing and drying off with a faded towel, I pulled on my last clean outfit and flopped onto the bed beside him. 

“Feel better?”

I groaned in agreement. His smile faded and something that looked like worry clouded his face. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He avoided my prying eyes. I glared at him until he sighed. “It’s just- what are you going to do when I’m not here?” 

My heart sunk. I tried to force a laugh and waved my hand, as if I could bat away his concerns, but anxiety and depression twisted my stomach and made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. I had been so focused on losing the only real job I’d ever got, I had somehow forgotten. How had I forgotten that the only good thing I had in my life was leaving today? I needed more time to prepare. I wasn’t ready.

I tried to reassure him even though I felt sick. “I’ll be fine! You are only going to college, it’s not like you are moving to another country. And you’ll be back for fall break. It’ll go by quickly, I’m sure.” I tried to smile but he didn’t look comforted.

“Yeah, but that’s still months away. And where will you wash your clothes? How will you take showers? What if they tear down that old apartment building?”

“I’ve done it before, Jace. I’ll find a sink somewhere, and they are not going to tear down the building after this long. Nothing new will want to come in over there anyway.”

His forehead was creased and he squinted at me. “True,” he muttered. His face started to relax and he patted my arm. His tanned, golden skin a stark contrast to my unhealthy pallor. “And besides, you’ll have an apartment soon in no time with the way things are going. Probably something better than this dump!” He laughed.

I winced. “I don’t know that I would go that far.” I stared at his open, caring eyes and my stomach turned again. I could tell him. I could tell him everything. Maybe I could even convince him not to go. No, I knew I could convince him not to go. He could stay here with me and- do nothing with his life. Be stuck here in this constant purgatory that plagued the entire East Side. Living and breathing and dying in an endless loop of poverty and exhaustion.  

The smile I gave him was shaky and I hoped my watering eyes weren’t noticeable. “You’re going to have so much fun! You’ll have to send me a postcard.”

He jolted upright and beamed. “Actually, I have something better than a postcard.” He jumped up and sprinted to his broken dresser and pulled out a drawer, tossing something to me. 

In my hand I held an old fashioned flip phone.

“Okay, so I know this thing is about as old as my grandmother, but I paid for the card already and it should last you a couple months! I know you are saving up your money for an apartment so this way we can keep in touch and by then you should be able to get something better.” His eyes crinkled with excitement.

I turned the phone over in my hands, blinking furiously. “Wow! This- this is great.” I cleared my throat. “Thank you.”

He clapped me on the back and we both jumped as we heard the slam of the front door upstairs. “Oh shit,” he sighed. My lips pinched together. This was probably the last time I’d get to see him before he left and I’d been expecting more time.

He looked at me, staring intently into my eyes, looking for something. “I wish she’d let you stay here. It’s just- she would check and-”

“I’ll be fine.”

After a moment’s hesitation, I threw my arms around him tightly in a hug. Something I don’t remember doing for a long time. Hands hesitantly circled around me before squeezing. I tucked my face into his neck and breathed in, trying to remember everything about him. This could be the last time I ever saw him. Maybe when he left he would never look back, as he should. Or maybe I just wouldn’t make it much longer. I breathed in through an aching chest. “I’ll be fine.”

He drew back as footsteps sounded down the stairs. His eyes were shining. “I’ll put your clothes outside before morning.”

I nodded, throat tight. I shuffled towards the window, trying to draw the moment out longer. 

“Alec, I-” he was cut off as the door started to open and I threw myself out the window and slipped into the night. 

“I’ll be fine,” I insisted, wishing I could believe it. I brushed the tears off my face. “I’ll be fine.”

Chapter Text

The days passed by agonizingly slow. I returned to Jace’s house later to get my clothes but he was already gone, so I went about trying to find a new job. That did not go well. I thumped my head against the cement pillar, groaning in frustration. Was everything in this god forsaken city made of cement?

I turned and lay my cheek lay against the cool stone, trying to push past the exhaustion that plagued my body. I shivered. I was always cold these days, even though it was the midst of spring. Not that it meant anything with the constant gray skies and drizzle of rain.

My stomach grumbled in complaint and I pondered getting something to eat. My money was not going to last a long time with Jace no longer around to give me food. Using the money I had saved for an apartment seemed too much like admitting defeat. I still held onto the hope that I could get a place of my own but that hope was slowly dwindling along with the money as I used it for food.

With my friend gone, I needed a place to stay more than ever, and if I used that money at this point, I might never get it back. My head ached and my eyes felt heavy, so I decided I would rest them for just a moment. I quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

Suddenly, I was struggling to stay afloat in a rocky ocean. The water was rough and I barely knew how to swim. I flapped my arms in the water and gasped for air and my hair fell into my eyes. Just when I thought I was getting ahead, a big wave would come crashing in and throw me against the rocks. A voice called out to me. “Hey- hey, kid.”

I jolted awake, gasping for air as I scrambled to take in my surroundings. A man stood in front of me and raised his hands non threateningly . “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. You okay?”

I noticed I was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and I cleared my throat but it came out hoarse. “Yeah, sorry, fell asleep.” I cringed internally. Falling asleep around here wasn’t something I made a habit of doing. I analyzed the man in front of me. He had creases in the lines of his forehead and eyes but he looked relatively young, though his hair was so blonde it looked almost white. He had a kind face, and If he were wearing something other than the faded hoodie he had on, he seemed the type of person to work as a college professor or something of the sort.

“You look hungry. I just ordered pizza for my friends over there.” He pointed to the distance at a place where men gathered under a bridge around a fire. “We have plenty.”

“Oh- no, that’s okay,” I laughed, shaking my head as my face turned red. “I’m not hungry.”
Suddenly my stomach grounded loudly and I glared down at it in betrayal. He threw his head back and a laugh shook his whole body. His eyes shined in mirth.

“I think your stomach feels differently.”

I shook my head. “Really, it’s nice of you but I’m fine.”

I wished he would just leave me alone. Hanging around the other homeless isn’t something I did. I don’t particularly know why but I never really felt like I was one of them, even though I most certainly was. It wasn’t like I was any better off but sitting under a bridge or holding a cardboard sign felt too degrading. I did not accept handouts even now, though I felt tired and light headed.

“Look, kid. Normally I’m not pushy but you look like you’re about to keel over any minute now and you’re obviously hungry. We have the food, you need it, it’s no big deal. Just have a piece, for my sake. It’ll make me feel better.”

I sighed, thinking about it. His face was open and kind, and I glanced at the fire longingly. I was pretty cold. When was the last time I had pizza again?

He raised his eyebrows questioningly. I huffed. “Alright, fine.”

He smiled, and I smiled back without hesitation. He was the kind of person that gave you that feeling that you would do nearly anything for them just to look at you like that a little longer.

He offered his hand to me and I accepted, pulling myself to my feet. “What’s your name?” I asked.

He smiled again, with teeth this time, startlingly white. “Valentine. You can call me Valentine.”

Chapter Text

The rag tag group of men were surprisingly friendly. They helped me to more pizza than I could eat and I had to slow down when my churning stomach couldn’t take any more. They were an odd assortment of people. The man that had invited me over, Valentine, seemed to almost be in charge of the whole group. It was obvious everyone respected him and any time one of them got a little too wild, a sharp look from him and they would look cowed. I didn’t really understand why, as he seemed about as threatening as a Golden Retriever. 

I sat beside a man that was likely very shy. His name was Hodge. The scars that covered a lot of his body would be intimidating but he seemed to hunch in on himself like he would rather hide in a corner. 

Two lively men that seemed to take up the whole space with their presence could have been mistaken for twins if they didn’t have such contrasting appearances and skin tones. 

They were most definitely the troublemakers of the group, and though they had been the most welcoming and upbeat, something about the identical glint in their eyes made something in me feel wary. They went by Anson and Emil, and I suddenly wondered if any of their names were truly real or just street names. Should I have made something up when I introduced myself?

There were a group of three younger boys who seemed about my age. A cocky platinum blonde named Jonathan seemed the most friendly out of the group, but the two with him were quiet and did not seem inviting. Jonathan introduced them as Sebastian and Samuel.

The last member of the group was off in a corner. He turned and sent me a wide grin and I jolted when I realized he was missing an eye. Burns covered the whole side of his face and his smile was off putting. He went by Patrick which seemed much too friendly a name for a man like him.

Cautious as I was around the strange group of men, I was surprised to find myself eventually relaxing as the warmth of the fire covered me like a warm blanket. I stopped planning the quickest exit route, and questioning why they had invited me over. Despite how rough most of them looked, they accepted me into the rag tag group without question, like I had always been there. Perhaps they well and truly had just been trying to be friendly. 

Rain started to come down around us in a thunderous downpour but we remained sheltered under the bridge. The men invited me into aimless chatter that quickly turned into funny stories from their younger days that had me laughing until my stomach hurt. The sky turned dark and the fire casted shadows and a soft orange glow over everyone’s faces, heat licking gently at my skin. 

I sat there against a stone pillar and listened to the rumbling and laughing of voices, and before I knew it I started to doze off. 

“So what’s your story, then?”

I jolted awake again and blinked drowsily. “Huh?” My attention refocused on Jonathan who was leaning forward. His gray eyes analyzed me intently and the light of the fire cast harsh shadows on his face, making it appear sharper.

“Everyone’s got a story. You seem alright, so what’s someone like you doing out here?”

I laughed nervously. “I mean, what are any of us doing out here? Bad luck I guess.”

“Oh come on,” said Emil, leaning forward. “Bad luck is why you are on the streets of the East Side, starving, homeless, and cold?”

“Yeah,” Anson pitched in from beside him. “You got no family or nothin’? 

“That’s enough,” Valentine scolded with his smooth voice. He looked down at them. “We invited him over to eat and chat, not so that we could interrogate him for his whole backstory. Not,” he glanced over at me, “that I’m not curious, myself.”

I sighed and leaned against the pillar heavily, suddenly very tired. “Look, there’s really not much to tell, okay?

I’ve been stuck in this less than desirable situation ever since my parents threw me out a couple years back.”

I tried to skirt around why they’d thrown me out, not know how they’d react and if they were homophobic. Their raised eyebrows urged me to go on and I knew I wouldn't get out of this conversation that easily.

“I tried sleeping in an abandoned warehouse because I had nowhere to go and was caught by a group of the ‘elites’ from Shadow High who had always hated me. It was pure chance. They taunted me, and were ecstatic at their luck of accidentally stumbling across me in the middle of trying to find a secret a place for the Halloween party that year.”

The whole group leaned forward intently and I drew in a deep breath and sighed.

“Things escalated when I made the mistake of rising to the bait and throwing a punch. Without my best friend there as a mediator, they decided to take things a lot further than usual and attacked me. The meekest of the group that had always just followed along tried to stop it but one was already throwing punches at my face until I was in the ground and nearly knocked me out.”

Emil made a soft sound of disgust. “A group against one? That’s ridiculous. They were cowards.”

“Always were. I was really hurt but gathered up the strength to fight back, and somehow won. Everything from the past year just got to me and I finally lost it. The cops found me beating the guy’s head against the concrete. One stood up for me in court- the quiet one. His name was Henry. He had always followed along in taunts but I guess something changed his mind that day when they went a step too far. That didn’t matter though. He said I was afraid for my life and fought back in defense, which was completely true. But try telling that to the judge when cops witnessed you beating someone who was already conscious."

"I got out of jail surprisingly quick, but that didn’t change the ruined record. Unfortunately, it’s made it damn near impossible to get a job. No one hires ex convicts. The only other job I managed to land was working at a factory. It wasn’t very glorious. Long days and little pay but I was happy with it. It didn’t last, though.” I shrugged. “Now I’m kind of stuck here.”

Patrick let out a low whistle. “Man, that is tough luck.”

“Hey,” Hodge said quietly and nudged me. “Have you tried the factory up on seventh? That’s where I work and-”

“Yep,” I grunted. “Got fired. So not my fault but that’s a long story.”

“Ah.”

“Well is that all?” laughed Valentine. “If you need a job, why didn’t you just say so?”

I blinked. “My record-”

“Oh, forget the record! That’s nothing! Come ‘round this Monday and meet me at that old factory on Mostyn Street. I’ll get you a job, no problem.” He smiled at me generously.

My mouth fell open in shock. “Are you serious? Just like that? I mean- what- I- what do I wear? Should I bring anything? Do I need an application or-“

The group laughed. “We’ll have everything you need. All you need to bring is you. 10’oclock PM. You got a watch or need to borrow one?”

“Uh,” I thought for a second. “I’ve got a phone. Why so late? Is it a night job?”

“It’s always best to work at night,” said Valentine, standing up and stretching. He groaned. “I think I’ll head off for the night but I’ll see you Monday then?”

I beamed. “Yeah, okay! Sounds good!”

The others stood up as well and a few grabbed fold up chairs. “Oh,” Valentine turned and tossed the box of remaining pizza at me. “Leftovers! If you can eat anywhere near as much as these boys over here, I’m sure you’ll finish that off by tonight.” He laughed and clapped me on the back before the whole group turned and walked off into the night.

Over an hour passed by as I sat there, trying to process the night's events. I had a job . That easily? My heart skipped a beat and my stomach fluttered in excitement. It was almost too good to be true.