Chapter Text
The Sham
You plastered a smile on your face as your father walked you down the aisle, wheezing breaths coming from his frail body. If it weren’t for the dread in your heart and the man who stood waiting for you at the end of the plush carpet, eyes cold and hard, this would’ve been your fairy tale wedding.
It was only a month ago that your father had revealed to you his sickness. The growth in his lungs dangerously large. He was adamant for you to live on, but refused to leave his fortune to you, worried you would be taken advantage of by distant members of the family. Instead, he had introduced you to Erwin, a powerful commander in the Survey Corps. Erwin, you were told, would be in charge of finding you a suitable husband and protector. You protested at first, demanding that your father reconsider, demanding that he let you make your own choices. But he refused to listen. It was only after Erwin had softly whispered to you that your father was running out of time, and that the marriage could easily be annulled after your father passed that you relented to the sham. You had never been particularly close to the man who called himself your father. Your values never matched up after your mother passed. He was obsessed with wealth and protecting it, while you were content just living an ordinary life. But even so, you were determined to fulfil his dying wish, as a dutiful daughter should.
It was during those meetings that you realized how dangerous Erwin was. He knew you wanted no part of the enormous fortune you were to inherit, and told you between quiet whispers of negotiation that he would provide you with documents that allowed you to leave the marriage after your father’s death with 80% of your inheritance, the remaining 20% to remain with your future husband as a donation to the Survey Corps. The man was a master negotiator, running a ploy within a ploy; telling your father he would choose for you a suitable protector while assuring you of your freedom all the while securing a massive influx of funds. He was truly not a man to be trifled with.
That was how you got into this position, walking down the aisle to take as your lawfully wedded husband a man you never met before. Sure, everyone knew of the great Levi Ackerman, but few had the pleasure of his company. Gulping, you looked into his eyes, not a flicker of softness within them as he took your hand and thanked your father.
And then you were married, whisked off after the ceremony to spend the rest of your days on a cold army base while your father lived out his days in a special hospital. Your lips still tingled at the soft kiss the man had pressed to them as the priest pronounced you as Ms. Ackerman.
The entire way back, you rode silently behind your new husband. You had quickly dismissed the idea of a carriage back to base, happy to ride a horse and not make a big deal of the whole situation. However much you tried to shy away from the attention, you still found yourself in the middle of it. The entire town had come out to see you, cadets and villagers alike clamoring to catch a glimpse of the new Ms. Ackerman. Rumours travelled fast, and you could hear the whispers as you rode by. “Heard she’s doing this to keep her fortune!” “I heard her father sold her to the Captain!” “What a sham, her poor father” ‘Poor father? Poor her! Married to a guy like that!”
You just ducked your head, tears swimming in your eyes as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t know how to feel. Everything they said was true. You did get sold, in a sense, to your husband by your father, and this was indeed a sham. But what could you do? You were powerless in such a situation and this was the best way to deal with it.
By the time your breathing was controlled, and your tears dried, the horses stopped. You had arrived.
You waited, watching as Levi dismounted, expecting him to come steady your horse. What you didn’t expect was for him to glance in your direction, annoyance in his eyes. “Oi. We don’t have all day. Get your ass off that horse.” He barked, already walking away. Disappointment flowed through you. You did not have much experience with men, always choosing to sit in the garden and read rather than go about the town, but with as little experience you’ve had with men and relationships, even you knew this was harsh treatment.
You gently unhooked your foot from the stirrups and swung yourself down from the horse, landing hard on your feet with an “oof” that fell from your lips. The hapless cadet that stood by you quickly rushed up to steady you as your body tiled backways, arms flailing. As his hands righted you, your cheeks aflame, you bowed to thank him, his green eyes sparkling as he waved his hands, brushing away your thanks and embarrassment and introducing himself as Eren with a wink.
Bowing again to the young man, you didn’t have time to rest, grabbing the reins as you scurried after your husband to the stables. When you finally caught up to him, your horse unruly, refusing to cooperate with a stranger, he was leaving again. Throwing a curt “Take care of your horse. This isn’t your castle anymore princess; you need to earn your keep.” over his shoulder at your crestfallen form. All you could do was silently obey, willing your heart to be strong.
~
Levi walked back to his room; brows furrowed the whole way. He didn’t owe you any special treatment. Sure, he had agreed to this in the first place, but only because Erwin asked him to. You also knew of the plan, and he didn’t see any reason in trying to force himself to be nice for the sake of some noble woman who would only hinder him in his duties. But when you had shyly met his eyes at the wedding, the way you had gasped when he kissed you…he shook his head. Reminding himself not to get attached, he continued to walk away, leaving you all alone in the stables.
~
By the time you finished up and put everything away, it was dusk. You had followed the other cadets into the mess hall, determined to make some friends over dinner. You figured you would also see Levi there, and would use that opportunity to get acquainted. Your eyes immediately found your husband, sitting with the other superiors at a table, drinking from his cup silently as a frazzled looking individual you knew to be Hanji threw their head back and laughed at something Erwin said. You smiled and picked up your pace to find your own spot at the table, spotting Eren and giving him a shy wave that he returned, the beautiful girl in a red scarf beside him shooting daggers at your interaction.
Erwin spotted you first, and he stood, bowing at you as he took your hand. “Miss Y/N! I hope our humble base is to your liking. Please, join us.”
You looked around, squeezing yourself into a spot beside Levi. He barely gave you a second glance, grey eyes meeting yours for a moment as you wilted in your seat. The tension was palpable. Everyone’s drinks seemed to go down a little slower as they waited for you to say something. For him to say something. Quickly plastering a smile on your face, you reached for a cup. “To the Survey Corps!” you chirped, praying no one heard your voice crack, trying to make light of the awkward situation.
The group recovered, blinking at your sudden mood change. Cups were brought to the middle as they cheered, the only one absent was from the man by your side. Hanji quickly took over the conversation, asking you about your childhood, your parents, and what your hobbies were like. They shrieked when you told them about how you liked to cook and read, clapping in glee when you shared your love of knitting as well. They quickly decreed you as their official medical helper when their laugh suddenly cut out. “Oh! Levi! Did you want Y/N to be on your shifts and spend time with her? I may be able to negotiate if you’ll let me experim-”
The bench shook as Levi stood up unexpectedly. Glaring at the now quiet Hanji, cold eyes flicking to you, he growled, “Look. This is fake. This is all fake. Don’t expect me to owe you shit you little brat. Just stay out of my way.” A glance at Hanji and he continued, “Keep her. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”
Your jaw ached with the effort it took you to clench your teeth, trying not to cry. You hadn’t expected much from this marriage, maybe a soft hand to hold or a warm body to hug once in a while, but you had never expected this. To be so utterly unwanted and despised was a new feeling for you, and you hated it.
Hanji squeaked, scurrying out the room after Levi as Erwin laid a hand on your shoulder. “He’s difficult. I’m sorry.”
You just nodded, determined to make it through this farce of a marriage in one piece.
~
Catching up to the shorter man, Hanji fell into step beside him, their silent judging enough to make the man reach out and punch the wall in annoyance.
“Spit it out four-eyes. Just say it.”
“You know you fucked up. Why are you being so mean to her? The poor girl didn’t ask to be married, let alone to you! Her father is dying, why make it harder.”
Levi ran a hand across the base of his neck. “I just don’t see a need to indulge her when we both know there’s an expiry on this.”
A slap on his back earned Hanji another death glare. “There doesn’t have to be an expiry if you treat her right.”
~
Your wedding night was about as enjoyable as the day you had. You stayed away from your bedroom for as long as possible, but when your aching feet and pounding headache couldn’t take any more, you finally made your way through the maze of hallways to find your room. Your husband was in there already, sitting at his desk. You sucked in a breath looking at the large bed in the room and cleared your throat, catching his attention. “Uhm…” you couldn’t form words.
“Do…do you want me to sleep on the couch?” you managed to squeak, trying desperately not to look into his eyes.
“Don’t be stupid. Bed is big enough. Just don’t expect me to read you a bedtime story.” Was his answer.
“Levi…” your voice was soft, laced with bitterness. “Levi do you love someone else?”
“What did I say about being stupid?”
“Why did you agree to marry me if you’re in love with someone else?” you choked, trying to keep the lump down your throat.
“I’m not in love with someone else. I’m just not in love with you.”
You cried yourself to sleep, knowing full well he was right beside you, pen scratching at his papers. You kept silent, not wanting to give him another reason to cut you with his words, so you held yourself as sobs wracked your body. You missed home. You missed your books. You missed your garden. And above all, you missed how it felt before you came onto this base.
The next morning, you woke to a rumpled his side of the bed. When he slipped in to sleep and when he slipped out was beyond you. You heaved a sigh and resolved yourself to be a good wife during your marriage. Determined not to lose face or embarrass Levi.
-
And so you did. While your interactions with Levi were limited, your days filled with Hanji’s instructions, you found yourself falling into an easy rhythm, getting used to the “married life” as it were. Every morning you would make your shared bed, dusting and clearing any dirt that fell during the night over your morning coffee. You would sing to yourself, dancing around the room with your duster, something you never got to do back home. Then you would make your way to the mess hall and make Levi his cup of tea. That much he let you do. He would usually be halfway through his morning mountain of work by now, and you would collect his empty cup, replacing it with a piping hot one before creeping back out the room, a soft “See you later” echoing across the quiet room. While the cadets trained, you would watch, trying and failing to keep your gaze away from your husband’s chiseled back.
You realized you couldn’t make him love you, and it would be cruel and foolish to try. After all, it was just a waiting game. But something in your heart stirred whenever he would look at you. You came to understand the little ways in which he showed kindness, and after hearing stories of his childhood from Erwin, you understood the man a little better.
The cadets were all whipped by your kindness, the young men always giving you their best salute when you walked by with a shy wave, and the young women clamoured to sit with you to chat. At mealtimes, you were surrounded by a gaggle of people, your eyes crinkling as you laughed at the jokes they would tell you. And for your part, you tried to do everything you could on base. You comforted broken hearts, mended scratched skin, helped with stable duty, and handed water to exhausted cadets who stumbled back after running punishment laps. Soon, you couldn’t imagine a different life.
~
Levi sighed, reaching for his cup to find it empty. Tch. You were late today. Usually you swept into the room by now, hot tea in tow. Even he had to admit that you were growing on him. Your quiet presence something he was used to by now. It surprised him how independent you were, how steadfast and hardworking. Each night he would slip into bed after your breathing slowed and would slip out before you started to groan in the morning. He would sometimes watch while you dusted the room, the sway of your hips and the song on your lips familiar. He even got used to you watching him train the cadets. When everyone started to work harder, blows coming down stronger, he would know you had made an appearance. He would ignore the way his body would tingle when he looked to find you underneath your usual tree, waving to him and the others. The cadets always waved back. He never did.
Just when he was about to get up and get his own damn tea, you came into the room. You placed his tea down and noticing the small grimace on his face, your smile faltered. “Sorry I’m late Levi.”
He hated the way you would shrink around him. He hated the way your smile would falter when he looked at you. He hated that you would walk on eggshells around him. When he started to feel this way, he did not know. All he knew was that he was the cause of your behaviour.
_
It was a beautiful day on the town, and Levi found himself lost in thought as he made his way back to base. He stopped and looked around when he thought he heard your voice. He did not know you had gone out today. Looking around again, he followed the sound. What he did not expect to find was you, with another man’s hand wrapped around your wrist. You were angry. That much he could tell.
“Don’t you dare say that about my husband!” you breathed, struggling in the man’s hold.
“Oh, come on now honey, the rumour is the great Captain Levi didn’t even make you his on your wedding night.”
“Keep his name out of your mouth you pig!” you shot back, your other hand attempting to pry his hand from your wrist.
“Don’t defend him now, how ‘bout I take you home, show you a good time. Show you what a real husband does?”
Hackles rising, Levi was about to go and rip that ingrate’s arm off you when your words made him freeze.
“He is a real husband to me.”
The next moment, your well-placed kick had the man writhing on the floor, the skin of your wrist tender from his harsh grasp.
Levi watched from afar as you stomped back towards base. A small smile crossed his lips. He could almost see the steam pouring out of your ears. As quick as it came, his next thought wiped his smile. You had defended him. Called him a real husband. Sure you could have been just acting, but he couldn’t deny that way his chest filled with pride even as his heart did a weird pitter patter thing he never felt before.
~
You didn’t tell Levi about the incident on the town. You were too scared. Would he be mad that someone tried to take you home? Would he not care? You didn’t want to know the answer, not sure which reaction you were more scared of. So, when he crawled into bed later that evening with you while you lay there, you froze. Did he think you were asleep? You screwed your eyes shut, still as you could as you felt him get comfortable.
“Oi. Brat. You constipated or something? Relax.” Came his soft voice beside your ear. You let out a shuddery breath, praying Levi couldn’t feel the way your heart started to hammer in your chest. You fell asleep that night as a couple, side by side, one of his arms thrown lazily around you as you dozed off.
Waking up to the sounds of birds outside, you were alone again, as you had been these past several weeks. You got out of bed and started to make it when your jaw dropped to the floor. Levi came in through the door, two cups in his hand. Handing you your coffee, he sipped at his tea, as if this was perfectly normal. So you sat in comfortable silence, softly sipping your drink before he gave you a pat on your head, ruffling your hair. “I’m off.”
“Work hard!” you chirped, offering a smile that made Levi’s heart thump.
When you brought him tea, he put his pen down, handing you his empty cup and taking the one you offered, “thank you Y/N” falling from his lips as you stuttered, cheeks aflame as you rushed from the room to catch your breath.
That night, he sat with you at dinner, your usual group of friends giggling at you while you sat beside him, shyly telling him about your day as he listened, grey eyes never leaving your face.
You weren’t sure what happened. But you didn’t care. Shuffling around under the covers that night, he once again threw his arm around you, the blanket a helpful barrier. He had tucked his nose against your hair, before grunting in response to your soft “goodnight”.
The next morning you woke up first, your limbs tangled in his as you starfished across the bed. Looking over, you couldn’t quite believe the man beside you was the Levi you got to know. His face was soft and content, but you missed his eyes and the way they would make your knees wobble when they looked into yours. Your breath on his nose must have tickled, because the next moment, those grey eyes you were thinking about were looking into yours, a hand rubbing against them as they focused. You were once again speechless. At a loss as to what to say and what to do as you stared. Then. It happened.
His hands somehow found their way to your neck, pulling you close as he bridged the gap, lips as soft on yours as they had been on your wedding day. You gasped the same way you did then, but this time he didn’t stop. Pressing you tighter against him, he explored your mouth with his, your useless hands against him as your brain stopped functioning. When he finally pulled away, your unfocused eyes blinked, a trembling finger touching your lips in disbelief. “Good morning” was all he said as he got out of bed and ready for another day, leaving you and your pounding heart in bed.
The same thing happened the next day, and the next. Until every morning, you were woken with a good morning kiss as Levi went off to work. That is, until that day.
That morning, your post kiss reverie was cut short by a rap on the door. You knew. As Erwin stepped into the room, you felt a tear slide down your face. Your father had died in the night.
Levi stayed in the room; expression clouded as Erwin explained to you what would happen. Your father’s assets were being transferred to you as you spoke, and he would bring by the annulment paperwork in the evening. By the next day, you would be free to return to your home, a newly single woman. He thanked you again as you sat there in shock before excusing himself.
As the door clicked behind Erwin, Levi looked at you a moment before following his superior out the door, a look on his face you haven’t seen before. “Good job. You made it.”
Not sure what else to do, you packed. Your clothing was easy, but all the trinkets you had spread slowly around the room were harder to take. Your hairclip lay beside the cup that you had claimed as your own, your hairties by the bedside table where you placed them every night. Ghosts of memories floated around the room and the entire base, things you couldn’t pack to take home with you.
_
You didn’t see Levi all day. As night fell, you looked eagerly towards the door as he strode in, only to see Erwin trailing in after, papers in hand. Telling you where to sign, Erwin left the room, leaving you with Levi and your papers, a thousand words unsaid.
You looked down at the parchment. Black ink on paper. It was that easy. The freedom you wanted, the life you yearned to have back. It was that easy. When you had fallen in love you did not know. But now, it seemed like everything you wanted, you had. You didn’t want your old life back. Your old house filled with memories, but none with him. Your tears swirled as Levi silently picked up the pen, his name in his script signed along the dotted line. He handed the pen to you. Silent. Looking into your eyes.
You trembled. Shakily pressing a dot onto the paper above your name. That’s when he spoke. “Y/N…” he breathed, “Ask me again.”
You looked at him, not understanding.
“You asked me something on our first night together. Ask me again.”
Your heart thudded. You understood. Your heart soared, hoping against hope as you formed the words. Disbelieving. ‘Levi…do you love someone else?”
The pen thudded to the ground as he enveloped you in a hug, crushing you as he held you close. “No.” he whispered against you. “I don’t. I love you. Don’t go.”
And that was how Erwin found you, still in a tight embrace when he came to retrieve the papers. He had sighed, grumbling about Levi being a pain and something about owing Hanji a week of dishes as he closed the door behind him.
Tears spilling down your face, you leaned your forehead against Levi’s, still in disbelief. “I love you too.”