Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“My god Soobin hyung are you even trying!” exclaims the 16-year-old male as he screeches out a laughter when the elder’s character dies yet again, the tallest of the three pouting his lips sulkily with his arms crossed and glares at the two who high fived at his defeat in the console video game.

“ Kai cheated!” The 17-year-old protests but to no avail it was ignored by the two other boys, which he proceeds to tackle with a battle cry onto the owner’s messy bed.

The three boys are piled up in Huening Kamal Kai’s bedroom on a normal Friday afternoon, the mixed boy had invited them to sleepover for the weekend and his friends couldn’t possibly say no. Kai’s room, although small and slightly cramped (He had to take the smaller bedroom as his two sisters are sharing a bigger one) was cozy for the three childhood friends who pretty much crashed here every other weekend.

There’s a single bed next to the window and a fair sized wooden closet next to it, the shelves in the room are either occupied by Kai’s music competition trophies or little cartoon figurines excluding the few photo frames of pictures with his family or even with his two friends, a lone keyboard is placed in the corner and a big drawer opposite the bed where he would set up the video game to the small TV screen each time his friends comes over to hang out.

The smallest of the three; Kang Taehyun , a brown-haired boy with round doe eyes grabs the eldest by his leg and flips the boy over which had him yelping with surprise. “YAH!! You brat! How dare!” Choi Soobin, the one a year older than the other two shouts before attempting to tackle down his giggling soulmate.

Oh, that’s right. Taehyun and Soobin are soulmates.

When one is born, they are born with a soulmate mark somewhere on their body where their soulmate will have the exact replica of said mark on the exact same spot. Hueningkai at that moment decided to switch sides and hold Taehyun down for Soobin to tickle the life out of the boy he was bound to by fate. The smaller of the three now exploding with laughter, begging for the other to stop.

The elder boy can clearly see the matching mark of a moon on Taehyun’s collarbone that’s a mirror image to his own when the boy’s shirt got pulled down a little in the middle of the roughhousing, a permanent mark of fate indicating one needs the other to be complete.

Taehyun eventually manages to kick both of them off of him and scatter away panting breathlessly, “Hyung you’re my soulmate! You’re supposed to be on my side!” he whines between short breaths while still wearing a grin on his face, “Too bad! Soobin hyung is mine now!!” Hueningkai declares and jumps onto the boy’s back making him stumble and nearly piling onto the floor.

“KAI!”

The three are really close friends, Taehyun and Soobin’s families are next door neighbors, therefore their parents had always known the two are soulmates since Taehyun’s birth when Soobin was only a year old. It isn’t odd for soulmates to find each other so early on in their lives, in this case, even before they could talk, since the pairs are after all bound by fate, the other can never be too far away.

Besides, most if not all soulmates tend to end up as platonic partners rather than romantic ones. In fact, only a small portion manage to fall in love with each other, a few researches claimed that it is due to the way a pair is just too perfect for each other, they click in too well that for the greater majority, it did not feel ‘special’ romance-wise unlike the thrill of being with someone who was not specifically molded to complete you.

So, the pair of destined partners in life pretty much grew up together throughout their childhood, they’re almost inseparable when they were little, one is almost never without the other. And they take pride in being one of the first few in kindergarten to claim they’ve already found their soulmate.

But once they enter grade school, the shy newly transferred student enters the equation. Hueningkai first met Taehyun because they were in the same class, the poor boy could barely speak Korean back then. He was tall even all those years ago with messy black hair.

The language barrier made it hard for him to mingle and make friends but thankfully for him Taehyun was pretty proficient for his age, and was able to quickly get Hueningkai to be comfortable with him.

“Hi, my name is Taehyun Kang!”

“H-Hi…I’m….Kai Kamal Huening”

The boy then introduces Kai to his soulmate during recess and the rest is history, the three had been great buddies ever since. Sure, they came across some rough patches like when Kai felt like he’s intruding on the two soulmates or the way their one-year age gap made Soobin felt left out sometimes when the two same aged friends do things together or when Kai and Soobin started calling each other gums thus making Taehyun felt insecure since Soobin is his soulmate.

All friendships had their ups and downs, theirs is no exception, but the three pulled through each conflict and came out stronger than ever. They’re great friends after all for almost a decade.

Great…. friends….

“Ah I’m tired let's just watch something till my mom calls us down for dinner” Hueningkai retorts and flops himself back onto his bed and did not even bat an eye when Soobin rolls to snuggle next to him or when Taehyun all but climbs onto the two who are lying on their stomach on the super single size bed. They end up watching an episode of some drama neither could remember the title or the plot, not that they ever needed one as they prefer to theorize and make up the plot as the episode goes.

Taehyun snorts at a scene “It’s so obvious he’s cheating? Girl, open your eyes?!” Kai and Soobin hum in agreement “Bet he’s cheating on her with the sister too” the tallest remarks “Woman please raise your standards the other guy is way hotter!” Kai exclaims.

The drama cut into a commercial and Kai was about to change channels when a particular drama teaser started playing. The male actor staggering back with glassy eyes when the female lead slaps his cheeks, a burning sound effect ringing through the screen and three little yellow butterflies appeared on his cheek where he was slapped.

“I don’t love you!! Why is it so hard for you to understand that?!” she screams before grabbing his arms, the sound of skin burning erupts again and when the girl shoves him away clusters of yellow butterflies scattered on his arms where she had touched him.

The female leads huffs and walks away, leaving the guy alone to cry in the rain with the butterfly spots on his skin. “I love you…..too much”

‘Pretty Poisonous Things’

The title floats onto the screen accompanied by flying clusters of butterflies.

“How…...controversially brave of them” Taehyun speaks up once the teaser is over, a morbid look on his face contrasting to Kai’s shocked expression or Soobin’s pale face. “Yeah that was…unexpected…. don’t you guys think they’ll get backlash for it?” Soobin asks the two which they both nod along. “Definitely, everyone knows the disease should never be romanticized…let alone for the sake of a love story” Hueningkai exclaims.

“The Butterfly Touch……have you…ever met anyone with it?” Taehyun suddenly asks out of curiosity, his eyes staring hard at the surface of his skin. “N-no, but it’s not like those who have it will go around letting it show even if…you know…. the one causing it…... will never find out” Soobin trails off with his gaze casted to the floor.

Hueningkai sighs to himself, “Me neither, but I heard it's’ hard to get? You’ll only catch it when your feelings for them are just too strong, which I think is why most who…. didn’t win….. against it didn’t mind being killed by the one they love” the boy stating his opinions on the disease. “Killed is a harsh word for it don’t you think?” Soobin butts in but Taehyun joins in with the mixed boy.

“I think it’s fitting, that’s exactly what it is, but I guess it’s more of a…… voluntarily letting them poison you till your last breath without them being aware of it.” The boy adds grimly, shuddering at the thought of even catching the disease. ‘But I won’t, Beomgyu loves me’ he assures himself thinking of his boyfriend, with a sense of safety.

The Butterfly Touch is not a common or rare disease, it's primarily triggered by severe unrequited love, when one bears feelings that are too strong towards someone who does not return said feelings, they risk catching the somewhat deadly disease. A cruel play of fate for those who foolishly love the wrong person too much.

When the one who did not reciprocate your feelings makes skin to skin contact with you, your skin will slightly burn against the touch and a cluster of two to four little butterflies will mark up your skin. The shapes, color and types vary with each patient, but these butterflies are actually a poisonous infection, the poison will seep into your body and slowly weaken your immune system till it kills you.

The more butterflies you have, the quicker you die.

And the worst part of it all? The one who caused you this pain, the one you loved so unconditionally that their touch will kill you, is the only person in the world who couldn’t see the butterflies they caused you. The rest of the world can see their doings, the way each touch takes another year, another month, another week or even day out of your lifespan.

But they couldn’t, because fate is cruel like that.

Some say the disease originates from millennials ago, according to an urban myth. 

The legend of Butterfly, the child of the god of love who took her own life when the love of her life, a mere mortal human did not return her feelings. While the god of love wept for the loss of her child, she cursed the entire human race with the poisonous disease, a fair warning to humans to never love so deeply and carelessly or doom awaits.

The disease is named Butterfly Touch after Butterfly, the child of the god of love who was well known for her profound love for Butterflies until she was made queen of the butterflies before her death.

She took her own life by poisoning herself and her final breath was her professing her love for the one she fell too hard and deeply for while laying in her butterfly garden, surrounded by all the butterflies until her heart stops beating.

Every child learns the tale early on in school, Taehyun still remembers when his teacher first told him of the legend. It seemed ridiculous at first, but every now and then, there would be a report covering death cases of the Butterfly Touch that he would catch airing on the news. Individuals, some young and barely out of high school while some are of an old age, their skin turned slightly in the hue of the butterflies on their skin from the poison.

Ignorance was quickly replaced with trembling fear.

But that’s how everyone was at some point in their lives, so afraid of love that you would not even want to discuss it in fear of catching it. Cause we all fear death therefore we fear what can bring us to death, to die a painful slow death caused by the one you loved. Everyone would be afraid at some point.

Well, almost everyone…. Taehyun smiles to himself remembering this particular fragment of memory from his past.  

“But we’re soulmates” A young 8-year-old Soobin told him with a grin “So? What if…what if we…it’s scary hyung” Little seven-year-old Taehyun said to the elder boy, “Well, my mom says it’s hard for soulmates to fall in love! So, I’m sure we’re both safe!!” Taehyun perked up to the statement.

Strangely, Soobin was never the one to be afraid of the disease. Not because he wasn’t scared of death but rather because he doesn’t think he’s capable of loving so deeply like that. Now Taehyun would argue that Soobin is very loving, but maybe it's better if he doesn’t think that way.

“Really?” Soobin takes his soulmate’s hands and smiles at the smaller boy “Yep! We’ll be okay, we won’t fall in love” Taehyun felt himself smiling at that, Soobin’s presence has always served him comfort, he supposed it’s a soulmate thing.

 “Okay, I trust you hyung! But Soobin hyung, how come…...it’s just that…aren’t you scared?” Soobin laughs at that and pulls him into a hug. “Why would I be? Who needs love when I have you! And of course, Kai too and besides I told you before, I can’t love like that even if I tried haha!”

Taehyun jumps off the bed and fixes his messy hair while looking in the mirror, “I can’t believe I almost forgot! Hansung hyung is gonna whine again if I don’t hurry now and be late” he grabs his bag and gives both of the boys sitting on the bed a quick sudden forehead peck. “I’ll be back in a bit!” he exclaims and rushes down the stairs, leaving Kai and Soobin alone to go on his date.

Soobin exhales a deep breath he was holding, hoisting himself up, he walks towards the small portable mirror on Kai’s shelf. His fingers reach up to trace over the newest mark of purple flutters on his forehead where the kiss moments ago had burnt the poisonous infection onto his skin. There’s two, one slightly larger than the other, both a deep purple color but Taehyun doesn’t know that. Never will.   

 “Hyung…...are you…ever going to tell him?” Hueningkai whispers, but it’s more of a plea than anything. He was the first to know Soobin was dying ever since Taehyun and Hansung started to date and the elder realized he could and had been loving someone like that.

Soobin was a huge fool for thinking he wouldn’t fall in love, a bigger fool for assuming he wouldn’t fall in love with his soulmate. His precious Taehyunnie whose eyes sparkled like the twinkling stars in the night sky that they love watching together while sharing blankets, Taehyun whose smile lit us his world like a second sun. Taehyunnie who sings prettily for him when they share beds together, Taehyun whose giggles is heaven’s music to his ears.

The Kang Taehyun who he knows for a fact he can count on to have his back no matter what just as how he has Taehyun’s because there’s no one else in the world that can understand him, knows him better than the boy with the moon mark on his collarbone. Soobin had no idea when he fell in love, couldn’t even pinpoint a start line to it because loving Taehyun came so naturally.

Falling in love with Kang Taehyun felt like something he was born into doing, destined and predetermined like their bonded fate.

But Taehyun’s heart found someone else.

“Hyung, I’m really worried about you……. you can…. die…… from this” Hueningkai reasons desperately as he takes Soobin’s arms, and pulls off the jacket and fingerless gloves he was using to limit skin contact with Taehyun. Patches of purple can be seen on both of his arms, the skin around it already starting to turn a different hue than his white skin.

Hueningkai gently caresses the butterflies despite wishing he could rip it off his hyung’s skin. “You have to tell him, he’s your soulmate!” It was a huge shock for him when he found out who was causing the butterflies. It’s the first time he’s seen for himself a soulmate falling for their other half. “And let the guilt eat him alive till my last breath? No way, I…I love him too much for that. Face it Kai, there’s…. there’s nothing I can do about it…”

“So you’re just going to die and leave us?”

Soobin falls silent at the question, “If I was given the option to live…..” Soobin has calculated that he’d last till his high school graduation at least, he’s 15 now meaning 2 more years before the poison wins over his body. The boy turns to look at Hueningkai who now has tears streaming down his face, face twisted with so much worry and horror for his hyung, one of his best friends.

“I promise you Kai, I will choose to live but right now……I can’t because there’s no other option for me”

“You can fall out of love” Hueningkai rebuttals, even though he knows that option was never on the table to begin with. Soobin chuckles darkly at that and pulls Kai into a hug letting the boy cry out his tears while clawing onto Soobin so tightly because he’s afraid the elder would disappear.

He will, just not now.

“Oh Hueningkai…...I’d rather die than to live without loving him, not loving Taehyunnie…..it would hurt tenfold worse than this feeling of poison eating myself away”

He knows, Kai knows that, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop wishing that wasn’t the case.

_

“Hi hyung!” Taehyun waves and jumps into Choi Beomgyu ’s arms when the other male throws open his arms, “Miss me already? I was only gone for a week!” but still goes to ruffle the boy’s hair fondly.

“One week too long hyung, of course I missed you” Taehyun wraps his arms around the other’s torso, planting a kiss on the boy’s cheeks, earning a teasing whine from the elder. Beomgyu’s family runs an international business so sometimes they had to leave Korea often thus why Beomgyu missed a lot of school days.

Beomgyu would’ve gone back to being homeschooled if it weren’t for Taehyun, the one time he begged his parents to let him try going to a normal public school under a fake name (since he can’t have people knowing he’s literally billionaires’ only son) Beomgyu had also hoped to find his soulmate because despite that he had travelled all over the globe, he had yet to find his destined partner in life, the person with the exact same mark of musical notes behind his ears.

But he found Taehyun instead, a boy who then thought he was in love with Shin Hansung. They met because they share the same class for math, music and English, Beomgyu was a grade below than his supposed grade due to his messy attendance and home-schooled background. They bonded over music and got close, he learns the little things that make up Taehyun, and slowly he finds himself catching feelings too.

Three rocky dates later now they’re dating, and Beomgyu fully content with it especially when he reveals his true identity and Taehyun just nods it off like it doesn’t even faze him. But he did ask if he could tell his best friend and soulmate at least that Hansung wasn’t his real name, Beomgyu was skeptical about it at first but he figured if Taehyun trusted them he could trust them too. Taehyun didn’t tell them his real name, he just informed them Hansung is a fake name he goes by to hide his real identity which they respectfully did not pry.

He has some really great friends, Beomgyu wished he could meet them but the best friend was in an entirely different department in school, he took dance but Beomgyu and Taehyun took music so their schedules never allowed time to spare for a meet and greet. The soulmate went to a different school which makes his situation self-explanatory, strangely in his months of befriending and finally dating Taehyun he has yet to meet those two.

Beomgyu takes his boyfriend by the hand and pulls him into the quaint café near them which puzzled Taehyun since Beomgyu said they were gonna go play at the arcade. “I need to give my friend something, it’ll take a second” the pair walk up the single boy sitting alone by himself while his head is deep inside the book in his hand, his other hand twirling a pen with his fingers.

“Yeonjun hyung!” The boy; Choi Yeonjun , nearly dropped the book and rolled his eyes before looking over, “Ya you’re going to be the death of me!” Beomgyu only snickers and dug into his bag for something while Taehyun gives a shy smile and a small bow at the elder. “So you’re Taehyun, I heard so much about you”

Taehyun nervously smiles at that “Better be good things only I hope”, he was aware the boy in front of him is basically Beomgyu’s one and only best friend, their families are quite close thus why the two ae also able to form close knit friendship if the way Beomgyu talks highly and fondly of his hyung to Taehyun is anything to go by. But Yeonjun’s eyes zeroed on the visible mark on his collarbone, a flash of recognition in his eyes.

“I’ve seen that mark on a friend from school” Yeonjun mumbles out and Beomgyu finally found what he was looking for and excitedly shoves the brown paper packaging in his hyung’s face “Found it!”. Taehyun instinctually goes to touch his soulmate mark, a habit he’s always had when asked or implied about Soobin. “Yes, I’ve known my soulmate, bin hyung, my whole life, I take that Yeonjun shii went to Hanlim Multi High School?”

Soobin skipped a year so he was a grade above his peers thus why he’s early into high school, at the mention of his school name Yeonjun nods along in acknowledgement and turns his attention to the souvenir Beomgyu got him despite wanting to ask if Taehyun knew Soobin is known as the BT kid at school because of that one time someone ruined his clothes and he had to wear the school’s spare ones which were short sleeved.

It felt like everyone treated Soobin differently after that, seeing the obvious marks of purple on his limbs which he didn’t bother to hide anymore. The over excelling kid who jumped a grade and had no friends because everyone around him doesn't know how to approach the slightly younger and he was sort of bullied too since he's younger than everyone, the one everyone stopped picking on once they knew he’s dying.

He wonders if Taehyun knows because if he doesn’t it could only mean one thing…. he’s the cause.

“Enjoy the book hyung! I remember you saying you wanted it but you were too lazy to go to London for an official physical copy so here you are!” Yeonjun unwraps the packaging and sure enough a thick book with the title ‘Cruel is Life, Life is Cruel’ Taehyun takes a peek and sees it's mainly a thick leather book with patches of butterflies on it. It suddenly threw his mind back into the topic he discussed with his friends before coming here.

The couple bid farewells with Yeonjun and head to an arcade to enjoy their afternoon date, their hands locking whenever they’re not playing a game and their boisterous laughter and screeches. After playing a few dozen games they settled down at the mini bar at the arcade and ordered some snacks and drinks.

“That book you bought for Yeonjun shii…” Taehyun starts, Beomgyu looking up with a raised eyebrow, “What is it about?” he questions his boyfriend. “Oh, it’s actually like a documentary journal! The life story of well, anon since they never reveal anything about them. But it’s a journal of how they struggled fighting the Butterfly Touch when their soulmate passed away, pretty sure they set a record because they held on for like 5 years, they did pass away though which is a shame”

“Wait what, their soulmate passed away and they got the Butterfly Touch? Like they were in love…? With their soulmate and they had touched them before passing away…something like that?” Beomgyu shakes his head, though he does admit it's cute how Taehyun suddenly got so heavily interested in the topic.

“No, they were in love, both of them, crazy right cuz y’know how rare it is for soulmates to fall in love with each other. But when one died in an accident, the other caught The Butterfly Touch because of their soulmate bond, since they loved their soulmate too much butterflies appeared wherever their soulmate touched them…. I think I only vaguely read the book…. The Butterfly Touch may be millennials old but we really don’t know much about the disease, don’t we?”

Taehyun hums at that, now deep in his thoughts, thoughts that he really thinks he shouldn’t be having. Beomgyu notices of course. “Whatcha thinking?” Taehyun shakes his head, and poses a smile for his hyung, “Nothing…. just that……we…. wouldn’t-” he wasn’t even allowed to finish the sentence when Beomgyu’s lips met his, cutting him off from his words.

The boy parts and smirks in amusement when Taehyun reels back into his seat with a blush, he takes Taehyun’s hands and lifts the boy’s chin to look at him. The warm eyes that are also coated with a small glint of fear staring back into his own. “Never, we’ll never come to that Taehyunnie '' Taehyun blushes hard at the sudden drop of the octave in his voice, how cute.

“R-Really hyung?”

“Trust me, Our love…this love here? It's forever”

Taehyun lets out a huge breath and sags himself into Beomgyu’s chest, feeling a chunk load of weight hacked off his shoulders at those words of affirmation.

“I love you Beomgyu hyung”

“I love you too Taehyunnie”

Chapter Text

The morning air is crisp and less polluted as less vehicles are out and about at such early hours, but it’s still 5:30 a.m. thus far too early for what Taehyun apparently is dealing with at the moment.

He could throttle the taller boy now had this been the first time this happened, and of course it isn’t which is why the boy is patiently waiting on Kai’s bed with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed for the boy to finish getting ready for their first day of high school.

Seriously Hueningkai can be going to college and he’ll still not prep everything he needs the night before his first day, Taehyun had predicted this would happen and planned early on to pop by an hour earlier than usual.

And he sure is glad he did.

Hueningkai hastily fumbles with the buttons of vest, the crest of Hanlim Multi Art School on full display just as the one on Taehyun’s new uniform. The boy looks around and grins at his companion “Okay I think I’m-”

“Your tie Hyuka'' Taehyun deadpans and watches with slight amusement at how Kai’s eyes just widen innocently before going into a small panic search for his red striped tie. When The taller male is finally finished, they immediately leave since they’ll be late otherwise. Soobin had to head over to school a little earlier than them, something about a promise favor to a teacher.

The two boys are now walking side by side towards their new school while munching on some uncut kimbap that Kai’s mom prepared for them, Beomgyu graduated last year and entered Hanlim as well but since he lives in a different neighborhood (Obviously the rich one) they can never meet up to go to school together.

“By the way Tyun, how are you and Hansung hyung lately?” Hueningkai throws out the question out of nowhere which almost had his friend choking on the food. “Why you ask?” he questions the slightly younger boy although he’s taken back at how Kai seems to know something is up with their relationship.

Hueningkai shrugs “I don’t know, it’s just that…. you don’t talk much about him with us but ever since he graduated last year…...it feels like you don’t talk about him at all...?” The taller raven haired is quite skeptical with approaching the topic, Taehyun has always been sort of secretive about his relationship with Beomgyu. They don’t hide or deny it when asked of course but obviously did not even try to show that they’re a couple when together.

“Well…. he has been a lot busier lately, we can barely go out on dates anymore since he seems to always have something to do” Taehyun mutters rather sadly, their last date had been 2 months ago at a bowling alley. Since Beomgyu is in high school now, his parents don’t force him to tag along each time they have to leave the country but even so, they still rarely see each other in person.

Taehyun misses spending time with his boyfriend, they used to chat endless hours at night but Beomgyu takes hours now at least to even answer his texts.

Hueningkai raises his eyebrow at the statement, already not liking what he’s hearing from his friend. “What’s got him so busy that he’s neglecting you?” there’s a slight bite to his tone when he said it, ever since finding out about Soobin’s deteriorating health, Hueningkai had grown to be protective over his friends.

And to no one’s surprise, he is especially protective when romantic feelings are involved.

Taehyun gives him a look at the question, whatever reaction he is expecting, it certainly isn’t this. “Woah there, neglecting is…a big word for it. He told me he’s been getting lots of school work and projects, that’s all” the scene is so ironic since Taehyun sounded like he wants to convince himself instead of Kai that those excuses are true.

He doesn’t want to doubt Beomgyu, not when it feels like he’s doubting their two years of steady (Steady? The first 10 months were great but then it gradually just reduces to…whatever this is) relationship. And he does love Beomgyu, always has and forever will. Taehyun finds himself tracing his finger over the silver ring on his right ring finger.

The promise ring Beomgyu gave him on their first-year anniversary, the ring has their initials ‘BG ♡ TH’ on it. And whenever he misses Beomgyu he’ll just feel the ring around his finger and remember what his hyung said to him that day, and even now as he walks with Kai, he can’t help but smile shyly at the precious memory like any other lovesick fool on the planet.

“Taehyunnie, with this I promise to forever love you, I will forever and always be yours just how you are mine. I love you so much baby, there’s no one I rather be than with you. I always asked myself how I got so lucky? But Taehyunnie, you truly are a blessing and I am honored to be allowed to love you like this. And I will keep loving you just as much if not more. That’s my promise to you baby”  

Beomgyu loves him, and that’s just it.

Hueningkai sees the school building as they are inching closer, “Whatever you say Anna” he teases the shorter male, Kai has been calling him ever since he dyed his hair in a lighter shade of orange. “Shut up Korean wannabe white boy” the choke and what may sound like an animal screech that Kai emits is simply satisfying.

“You take THAT BACK I’m a half white boy-Oh god that’s so disgusting to say, why would you say that I’m gonna have an identity crisis now”

Taehyun is really sure their hollering laughter can be heard even from 10 miles away, especially with Kai screeching like a dolphin. They arrive at the building shortly and navigate themselves through the hallways, seas of students adorned in the black vest, girls with their bows and boys with their ties. All going to their respective classrooms.

To be fair, it is mostly Taehyun dragging Kai along with him since he memorized the layout during their orientation day and Kai hadn’t been able to attend because he was sick. But just as they make a turn, Taehyun can barely stop himself before he bumps into someone. “Oh god, I’m so sorry-hyung?” lo and behold it’s Yeonjun .

The elder is now blond, the kind of blond that makes him look like a highlighter but Taehyun doesn’t mention it since he actually looks good in them. Hueningkai stands next to Taehyun wordlessly at how Taehyun knows this gorgeous stranger and hopes to god he isn’t staring at those dreamy looking eyes- 

‘Wait wait, hold on Kai, what?’ Hueningkai shakes those thoughts away with a blush as he keeps a straight face.

Yeonjun smiles, and Kai sort of melts inside because damn why is this guy so cute and gorgeous with that highlighter hair, and he has to mentally slaps himself to stop being so gay at the moment for a really attractive dude he just met, literally.

“Ah Taehyunnie, Hansung told me you’re gonna attend Hanlim as well. First day?” Taehyun hums in response.

“Yeah, and this is my friend Hueningkai, Hyuka this is Yeonjun hyung, Hansung’s best friend” Taehyun gives him an odd look at how weirdly flustered he is. “Um, cool…uh hi Yeonjun shii, nice to meet you” Kai could punch himself for stuttering so badly, oh god what is wrong with him. Yeonjun chuckles at his intro and Kai swears his legs nearly buckle down on him.  

“Cute, no need for those formalities. Just call me hyung” Yeonjun tells him while smiling, “O-oh okay, hyung” in that moment, the epiphany hits Taehyun and he nearly snorts when he rolls his eyes ‘Who’s the Anna now Mr. I-fell-in-love-at-first-sight’ he thought amusingly. Hueningkai gets the feeling that Taehyun is aware of what’s going on and he’s already dreading the teasing that’s definitely coming.

“Yeonjun hyu-Taehyunnie? Oh you’re here!” The three turn their heads to the voice, a black-haired boy is rushing over to them and Kai really has a lot of questions like how Taehyun knows all these pretty people. “Hyungie!” Taehyun waves excitedly and Kai watches as the other boy comes to pull him over to him into a side hug, pecking a soft kiss on his head as well.

‘Oh wait, is this…. ’ He didn’t get to finish the thought when the boy himself starts to roll his introductions. “Hi there, I’m Shin Hansung. Nice to meet you. You’re Hueningkai right? Taehyun talks about you a lot” So this is the boyfriend.

Beomgyu seems nice, Hueningkai admits the school yearbook did not do his photos justice because this fella is really pretty, Taehyun’s got taste that’s for sure. And from the looks of how he keeps his hand firmly around Taehyun’s waist, Kai can give him a pass, for now that is.

“Alright kiddos it’s a nice reunion but bells will be ringing and classes will be starting, c’mon let’s move it” Yeonjun calls out to them while already walking away, and if Hueningkai is a little disappointed, he hides it like a champ. “Wait hyung, we’re going to eat at recess, together right?” Taehyun asks earnestly, Beomgyu nervously laughs and let go of him.

“Ah no, I can’t sit with you for recess today baby, me and some group mates are meeting up for discussion. Sorry Taehyunnie, some other time?” he holds both of Taehyun’s hands as he says this, Taehyun would’ve not said a word even if he did not pull the puppy eyes but he’s still disappointed. “Fine, but you owe me two dates, you puppy” Taehyun gives in and ruffles the elder’s hair.

“No baby don’t do-Aish, you’re lucky I love you” he sighs as his neat hair is all messy, while Taehyun only giggles in return. They share one last quick kiss before Beomgyu scoots away and the two continue on their endeavor to find their classroom (Kai switched to music since he doesn’t feel like continuing Dance) 

“Wow and I thought being around you and Soobin feels like a bad case of third wheeling, that lasted 10 minutes max and I wanted to disappear” Kai comments and stuck out his tongue in fake disgust.

Taehyun smirks, “So Yeonjun hyung huh?” the instant groan he gets is savory at its finest. “Oh no nope, we are not doing that” Kai shakes his head wildly and quickly sprints away at the sight of the classroom they’re supposed to go to, Taehyun hot on his tail.

“Wait till Soobin hyung hears about this!” his life is terrorized by the two most annoying soulmates ever.

The class session goes on just as about anything you would expect from a class in school, they each introduced themselves and the first teacher of the day starts her class. Each class isn’t too packed, maybe not more than 30 students. Taehyun can spot a few familiar faces from middle school or faces he’s seen on the television. He almost forgot he went to Hanlim Multi Art School and is in the music department, of course there’s going to be idols or even trainees in his class.

But a particular kid catches his eye, or rather the obvious pink cluster of butterflies on her neck exposed because she is wearing her hair in a ponytail. It’s not like Taehyun wants to stare and does try to not look at her but ever so often his attention is drawn to it out of curiosity, she seems to not care if anyone around her sees the marks for wearing her hair like that.

It actually looks oddly pretty, innocent even.

When the boy looks at it, it does not look as harmful as he thought it would. How can something so innocent looking become the cause of death? Taehyun has read a book about it before, yet it didn’t make sense to him. It reasoned that while the disease is deadly, it wasn’t aimed to look horrid.

Love is a lovely thing, to love someone so much is even more beautiful, even if that love is painful.

And Taehyun doesn’t understand why, why would something so pleasant to the eyes is the proof that you will eventually die from loving someone? The disease is so terrifyingly unfair, no one should be punished for loving someone, and the punishment is so gruesomely beautiful and heavy.

“Kang Taehyun are you with us?” the boy is startled when his name is called, “Yes ma’am” she squints her eyes at him and points at the board “Can you tell me how to solve this?” her voice accusingly questions him. Taehyun scans his eyes over the equation, it’s a quadratic function equation so he manages to answer easily, all those days of helping Soobin learn math pays off nicely.

And just because he’s feeling a little smug at how surprised Mrs. Lee looked, he dramatically takes a bow, which rouses a few giggles here and there. The woman looks slightly embarrassed, but nevertheless continues on with the class. 

Taehyun returns to his table and his seatmate immediately bombards him “How did you know how to do that? I don’t even get what she’s saying and you sure as hell weren’t paying attention”

Park Jisung , his seatmate is one tall kid but no taller than his soulmate, he is awfully quiet 15 minutes ago. And it's such a coincidence that his seatmate also shares the exact same birthday as him when they revealed their birthdays during the ice breaking session, and then suddenly everyone calls them the unofficial twins just for that.

“I help my soulmate learn his math sometimes, and he’s like…. two grades above us?” Jisung awed at that, “Wow that’s so cool! My soulmate just…. he won’t stop trying to pair me up with someone” the boy mumbles but Taehyun can detect the fondness in it, he sees him fiddling with his hand and sees the obvious sparrow mark on the back of his hand.

Now, don’t get him wrong, Soobin skipped a grade therefore it's enough to say it's not that he needs help learning a material but rather Taehyun knows he’s more motivated to do something he doesn’t like, which is math, when it is done with him.

Yes, his soulmate can be quite clingy, but then again so is he. Plus, Taehyun actually likes math so he doesn’t mind the extra studying he did with Soobin and if he is technically way advanced than the rest of the kids in class, that’s a win for him.  

Everything else passed by like a blur and it's already time for recess, Taehyun and Kai are walking down the hallways again, this time towards the school cafeteria “Oh Soobin had to run errands so he won’t be with us gosh, why is everyone so busy here in high school” Kai complains as he takes a seat and pulls of the lid to his lunch box.

Taehyun gives his friend a shrug and pulls out his own packed lunch, “So how was class?” he casually starts and scoops up some kimchi fried rice with his spoon. Hueningkai looks at him weirdly “We’re in the same class? I was right behind you? The entire time?”

Poor tall kids, always tossed to the back for everyone’s sake, oh wait he’s sort of one of them.

“I know but-” that’s when Taehyun sees a boy passing by and goes to sit at the table in front of him. The male is moving rather sluggish and there’s a weak sway to his steps, he did not wear the vest so his arms are out in the open for all to see, including the burgundy colored butterflies scattered all over his arms. His friends did not look pleased.

“Why are you here? Didn’t the doctor say you should stay home and rest till you’re better?” one girl from the clique sitting there stands up to nag, she goes to place her hand on his forehead to check his temperature but another girl just pulls her back. “He’s 19 Somi, he knows…. his limits. If he wants to come, he can”

But the two boys already saw it, the newly marked butterfly on his forehead while he simply blankly looks down to the ground, hands holding on to the table for support. “He’s sick, he shouldn’t be here” the girl retorts, not knowing at all she’s causing it and making it worse. “Look I’m okay, I can’t stay at home forever” the boy rebuts and sits himself down to eat next to another boy who only glances at him with worry.

Taehyun and Hueningkai quickly look away when the first girl’s gaze falls onto them, pretending they weren’t listening in, not their fault the conversation is in their earshot. “Woah…” Kai mumbles chopsticks only playing around with the veggie rolls in his lunch box. “Is it just me or that disease is getting more common each day?” Taehyun comments.

“I think it has always been this way, the only thing that changed was that it used to be so Taboo that anyone who has it hides it, I guess the victims are more…open now?” Hueningkai answers him, Taehyun made an ‘o’ before going back to his food. They eat in silence as always, never the chatter type when food is involved.

Hueningkai tries not to sigh during the entire conversation, the urge to tell Taehyun the truth is so strong but he knows he can’t, Soobin wouldn’t want that. The eldest of the three has been getting worse, he has been experiencing some of the first few symptoms of the poison slowly winning like Insomnia and migraines.

He’s stuck in the middle and he has no idea how he can help, looking over at Taehyun he wished there’s a way for all of them to have a happy ending.

_

Beomgyu finds himself hiding behind a wall, his heart beating rapidly and the boy tries not to think of how guilty he feels for doing this. He waits, pretending to look at his phone to not be suspicious. Beomgyu wasn’t sure why he’s doing this (bullshit, he damn well knows why), and honest to god it's not even the first and probably not the last time he’s doing it either.

“Thank you Soobin, but are you sure you’ll be alright? You look a little…. well” Miss Kim worriedly remarks when Soobin goes to carry two boxes of books and random supplies. “I’m okay Miss, to the west wing storage?” The female teacher nods fondly, it’s nice of Soobin to offer his help to carry all these heavy things despite his condition.

‘Who in their right mind wouldn’t love you back sweet boy….’ she wonders to herself; it would never ever occur to her it might be the one person with the least chance of returning those feelings, his soulmate.

Soobin begins to walk down the hallway, Beomgyu sees this and pretends to walk out of the corner, “Oh? Hi Soobin hyung!” he greets the other male, Soobin stops in his tracks to smile at the other. “Hi Beomie, isn’t it recess? Why aren’t you eating?” Beomgyu shrugs the question off “I already did, need help with that? Looks really heavy”

The smaller boy does not even wait for Soobin to answer his question and takes one box off the other, Soobin gives him a ‘seriously?’ look but smiles it off, truthfully the boy has been following him and appearing every now and then since he first entered Hanlim last year and it’s kind of endearing. He never gives his name but he only told Soobin to call him ‘Beomie’ which is a nickname of his name.

Soobin knows he has some form of crush on him but the butterflies on his neck and forehead is making it very obvious Soobin isn’t interested, but he relentlessly comes back almost everyday to find him. Fine, and so be it, a small crush wouldn’t harm him so Soobin won’t chase him away, besides it's nice having friends who don’t hover around you like you are some sort of fragile glass.

Beomgyu knows this is wrong, whatever he’s doing, he’s definitely not supposed to. He has a boyfriend after all.

But back then last year when he first walked in and got lost, this tall dashingly handsome boy helped him around. Soobin and him get along comfortably since they’re both the same age despite Soobin being a grade skipper, they weren’t close due to schedule difference but they are some form of acquaintance.

And Beomgyu, weak hearted for dimples and cute giggles just can’t help but feel the tug on his heartstrings, the hitch in his breath each time he’s with the senior.

He who slowly heads home after a day at school wondering how Soobin is doing, has he eaten? Is his BT getting worse? God what kind of idiot wouldn’t love him back? At some point, he gradually grows to feel disinterested in talking to Taehyun but still brings himself to do it anyway because Taehyun is his boyfriend and he does love him…… Right?

But why is he lying to Taehyun to be with Soobin?

“Just let me help you hyung!” he exclaims even though the box is pretty heavy, Soobin gives him a quizzical look which he assures the senior with a grin. “Well, alright then” Soobin leads them down the hallway towards the storage room the items are supposed to go. “Hey Soobin hyung, have you found your soulmate yet?” Beomgyu suddenly asks.

“My soulmate? I grew up with him, known each other since we were in diapers, literally” Soobin chuckles, Beomgyu momentarily awed at the information. Growing up with your soulmate? That must have been so exciting. “That must be fun, I haven’t met mine yet” Beomgyu sighs a bit enviously, while a few may find their soulmates at really early ages like Soobin, most if not all would already find their other half by the time they reach 17 years old.

And of course, there’s the handful of people who find their soulmates much later and the one or two really unfortunate and rare cases of being born without a soulmate. But there's a loophole to the system, everyone will be born with a mark, there hasn’t been a single record yet of anyone who wasn’t born with one which means if one is fated to not have a soulmate, they wouldn’t be able to know it.

Thus, they’ll search years and years, feeling incomplete with no way to know that their soulmate simply doesn’t exist. A soulmate is someone who completes you, your other half, the one in life that is made specifically to fit perfectly with you. Which is why those who lost their soulmates to tragedy or terminal illnesses become a completely different person after the loss of their partner in life.

The hollow feeling of incompletely will haunt them to their very last breath.

Soobin could laugh at the words that spilled from the boy’s mouth, a dying joke at the tip of his tongue that goes something like ‘I think not, dying of poisoning is no fun at all, 10/10 would not recommend’ but of course he reminds himself that’s just him, he’s the one who falls into the almost non-existent category where you just had to fall in love with someone who may never see you the same way.

“Does it hurt?”

Soobin halts in his steps, Beomgyu suddenly wishes he did not ask that question. It is after all a rather sensitive topic and can easily make the senior hate him for it. But Soobin’s blank face grows into a small smile, the edge of his lips curving only slightly while his eyes loom in a way hope is blown out like a candle, a bittersweet image of truth.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have it any other way”

Beomgyu can only stare with awe, ‘He’s really deeply in love with that someone…..wow how lucky’ it just sounds so surreal that one can love another so much they rather face their fate and die than giving up loving that person.

That love he has for whoever that person is, it’s so genuinely true and pure with almost no trace of doubt. To be able to give your heart to someone like that, to be able to love and trust someone so deeply and unconditionally, how can it be possible? A love so strong that one would look death and challenge it all to protect that love from being ripped away from your very fingers.

That’s what Soobin sounded like, that’s what he looks like. Someone so sickly in love that he could never back out of it, though Beomgyu doubts Soobin would even entertain the thought. They continue on with their errands in silence, the whole predicament has Beomgyu thinking.

Does he have the same love for Taehyun? The smaller raven-haired steals a glance at the taller male and feels his heart drums, safe to say he knows the answer to that question but he dares not dwell into it.

 (No, he doesn’t)

From the half-opened door to the library Yeonjun emerges with a few books in his hands, a furrowed frown on his face and he lets out a sigh. Ever since Beomgyu started to attend Hanlim he is anything but subtle about his interest in Yeonjun’s classmate, maybe a little too much interest for his comfort. The elder shakes his head and heads back into the room, a thousand thoughts running through his head.

“Beomgyu ah…..I hope you know what you’re doing” he mumbles to himself, Beomgyu wouldn’t cheat, he won’t do Taehyun dirty like that, with his soulmate too. And so, the blond boy pushes away the thoughts of his best friend probably cheating on his boyfriend with his soulmate and let his mind drift to the cute tall kid he met today, Yeonjun grins to himself thinking of Kai, his cheeks showing tints of pink.

Chapter Text

Kai shuffles through the hallways as he heads towards the nearest restroom, it's his second day here and god forbid he remembers anything clearly, including Hanlim’s layout apparently because he’s sure he might have strayed to a different restroom than the one Taehyun showed him yesterday.

The boy rushes in to do his business quickly, he’s already not the best in science so it's not too wise of him to take too much time out of his science class time outside of the lesson. Granted the boy is in a hurry and his bladder is killing him so he hadn’t noticed it then.

Only when Kai is rinsing his hands through the running water taps of the school sink did he hear it. Faint chortled cries, almost inaudible can be heard coming from an occupied stall. The wretched sound is followed by chokes and gagging which is much clearer to hear than the cries.

It sounded painful, and most of all, it sounded eerily and worryingly familiar.

Hueningkai isn’t the type to pry in someone else’s business but whatever he’s hearing is striking up some concern, the tall boy inches closer to the particular stall and focuses so that he can listen better. The sounds of whimpers and choked up sobs are more prominent through the thin doors, whoever it is inside is hurting and Kai doesn’t think he has the heart to leave without doing something.

The boy takes a deep breath and hesitantly taps on the door, he hears every sound disperse into silence except the occasional sniffs that the later must not be able to contain. “Hello? Do you…need help? Anything I can do for you?” Hueningkai tries to speak, he really hopes that the other gives him a response, there’s just too many worst-case scenarios running through his head at the moment.

Hueningkai waits for a sound or an indicator, almost opting to give up and leave to inform a teacher but instead he hears screeching of shoes against the floor and the clicking of the door being unlocked. The relief however is short lived because dread stings in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the person in the stall.

Soobin stands there with his shoulders hunched and arms around himself, his face pale as it usually is these days but there’s a new addition of blood on the curves of his lips matching the crimson stain specks on the collar of his uniform. He seems to shake in place with his red rimmed eyes not meeting Kai’s horror-stricken ones.

“Soobin hyung?!?”

The taller male falls forward weakly into Kai’s arms, body still shaking as he hacks out a series of rough coughing. Hueningkai’s heart is racing with panic, is the poison winning already? His mind scrambling to think in the midst of the sudden shock of seeing Soobin in such a state, so weak and in pain that it terrifies him.

The boy holds onto the elder hyung, keeping him steady before kneeling to lower both of them down, Soobin is coughing out blood and Kai’s vocal cords are choosing this minute of all time to stop functioning because he can’t even get a decibel of sound out of him. The fear of losing Soobin then and there is freezing him in place, not knowing what to do or how to react if Soobin does go limp and lifeless in his arms on the school restroom floor on his second day as a Hanlim student.

But the body draping over him slowly comes back to life instead, Soobin hoists himself slightly off the boy once he regains some strength to do so, clutching onto Hueningkai dearly as he senses that he might’ve scared the boy. “H-hey…. hey don’t cry…. Kai I’m fine……Ningning hey it’s okay don’t cry” Kai jolt out of his trance at those words and one trembling hand reaches to touch the coldness he finally registers on his cheeks.

He is crying

“H-hyung…..” he mutters, gripping Soobin tighter than ever, Soobin wipes away his tears wordlessly and waits till they’re both calmed down. “Were you in a class?” Soobin asks, but Kai did not answer him instead he stays silent while the arms around Soobin holding him up would not loosen up. “Kai, I’m okay…really…. just gotten a little sicker today that’s all” the blood on his lips is not at all helping his case.

It’s bad enough he has a Butterfly Touch poisoning him, adding a fever on top of it is doing him double damage as his immune system is already jacked up. “I thought…. I…I thought you were going to…. to...” The younger boy can’t even utter the word, he doesn’t dare.

Soobin’s breath hitched at those words, “N-no Kai, I’m not okay? I’m still here bud” he assures the boy while using the hem of his sleeve to wipe away the crimson on his face.

The two get up and collect themselves moments later, the younger male accompanies his hyung to the school’s infirmary after a little bit of a lecturing once the elder’s skin burns slightly to his touch. One of the school’s nurses Yerim has a knowing look when the two walk in with Soobin holding onto Kai for support, and the obvious blood stains on Soobin’s uniform.

“Yah you silly fool, how many times do I have to tell you not to come to school when you aren’t well?” she scolds him the soft tone expresses her worry. “You’re going to make things worse for yourself Soobinie”

She begins to run a quick checkup while Hueningkai waits next to Soobin, the boy still clutching Soobin’s hands in his, the nurse did not question his reasons for sticking around, seemingly to understand at once with how Soobin is less tensed than usual and that Kai being here is providing comfort for her regular patient.

But of course, she can’t keep him there for too long, she helps Soobin settle down into one of the resting makeshift beds and writes Kai a note to explain his sudden disappearance from class. The tall boy pouts in disappointment, eyes frowning but complying to leave with Soobin’s assurance.

“Is he…?'' She knows that it's not her place to ask such personal questions but Soobin looks so fond of the boy and she hasn't been able to recognize him, which leaves her to believe that Hueningkai must be part of the new intake kids for the semester. Soobin’s eyes bulge at her assumption and wildly shakes his head with his hands showing an X at the nurse.

“Noona no! He’s just a really close friend of mine.” He stammers hastily, not wanting the lady to think otherwise, that was really weird since Kai is like a little brother to him. “Oh I’m sorry for intruding, you two seem close. Oh well you rest up okay? I’m gonna get your meds…and some clean clothes” Soobin nods and falls back onto the bed, he raises his arm, letting his sleeve sag down to reveal his butterfly marks.

“But I watch your eyes as he walks by…. what a sight for sore eyes…. he’s got you mesmerized…while I die” he signs softly to no one in particular just an act to comfort his dejected self.

It’s been years if not months and these feelings only grew stronger with each smile Taehyun flashes at him, his life running out quicker with each butterfly Taehyun leaves on him. But even now as his sickly self is detained to a bed, his heart flutters at the thought of the cute doe eyed boy, mind drifting to a world where Taehyun was his.

 A childish and maybe even stupid fantasy, but Soobin is too far gone to care. But his little daydream is interrupted when nurse Yerim makes him take some fever medicine and place some clean white shirt for him to change into.

Soobin is once again washed ashore to the reality of things, he bitterly laughs and takes the meds.

“…But you like him better…wish I could be yours…”

_

“Where did you run off to?” Taehyun throws Kai into a questioning position once the bell rings and the teacher leaves the classroom, he wears a concerned look because Hueningkai had looked a little off and handed the teacher what looks like a note from the nurse’s office.

“I’m fine just that…...I need to go…look for something at the library” Kai reasons and tries not to feel bad at the way Taehyun’s face falls just for a moment before he’s grinning again, a fake one obviously but the look still shot an arrow at Kai’s own heart.

“Oh, okay then, I’ll see you later?” It’s a thing they have, a mutual telepathy-like understanding over when one declines to be with the other, it’s basically just another way of saying ‘I want to be left alone so please give me space’ and Taehyun respects that, especially when both his friends do the same for him.

But he couldn’t get a hold of Soobin, Kai wants to be left alone and he has no idea where is Yeonjun or Beomgyu, the latter of the two isn't even seeing his messages. So as Taehyun walks down the hall alone and hunches to himself, he feels a stinging pain in his chest that is dangerously threading on a line between fine and crying, more on the crying now.

The boys is wrapped in this web of confusion of the sudden change between his friends, a frustrated urge to scream since he has no idea what’s going on, why does it feels like everyone is keeping him in the dark, sowing their own secrets which although he may not be entitled to know, it still feels awful that he is left here without so much of a shred of explanation.

God give him a break dammit it's his second day of high school for heaven’s sake! And he’s already caught in this mess between not only his relationship with Beomgyu but even with his best friend and apparently his soulmate too who seem to have vanished.

“Tae-Hey Taehyunnie what’s going on? What’s with that face?”

Speaking of the devil, Taehyun bites his lips and rolls his eyes at the sudden voice. Oh so now he decides to show up? A part of him is grateful, but the dominating feeling is definitely the surge of annoyance and maybe a hint of pettiness due to the situation he’s being thrusted in.

Beomgyu loops one arm over his shoulder, wearing that playful grin that is layered with concern. He looks at his boyfriend’s unamused face and knows he’s in for it. Beomgyu knew the whole not replying to texts and declining dates is going to lead him somewhere complicated, his own mind warned him as well.

Yet his heart, the one that mopes with disappointment when he couldn’t catch Soobin anywhere today lets him indulge in these budding feelings for someone else that isn’t the boy he called his boyfriend.

Beomgyu knew of course, he knew his feelings for Taehyun are fading away, the little flower of romance that they raise in their middle school days now droops with no life, withering with time. Except, he was the only one in this equation that’s losing feelings, that does not feel the rush and jolts of joy upon seeing Taehyun, he used to, just not as much now.

And it's clear Taehyun is still holding tight on those feelings he has for him, it’s obvious even as he is pouting with irritation and refusing to meet Beomgyu’s eyes. The boy leans into the elder, letting Beomgyu securely hold him close as they walk to the cafeteria, he entangles his fingers with Beomgyu’s and the elder boy can feel Taehyun’s body relax in his hold.

Taehyun still loves him, just as he did two years ago when they confessed, but for Beomgyu….

That love is dying

They sit together at the cafeteria, Taehyun still giving his boyfriend the silent treatment while Beomgyu helplessly tries to cheer him up by making funny faces with food. “C’mon how am I gonna what’s wrong if you won’t tell me?” Beomgyu whines, poking Taehyun’s cheeks as he does.

Taehyun sighs, he turns to the boy with a blank stare “You know damn well why….” He mutters, and there’s an underlying hurt in his eyes that shut Beomgyu up while the guilt settles in again. “Look, I’m…sorry for not being able to spend time with you but I was really busy, really”

Busy ogling at a senior he has a crush on that is, he really does feel bad but he can’t stop it either.

Taehyun cast his gaze away, his usually bright eyes look sullen and that doesn’t sit right with Beomgyu at all. It is why he hadn’t been honest and cut off their relationship in the first place, because at the end of the day, he still cares about Taehyun. The boy will always be a companion to him, someone who sees him as Beomgyu, the annoying kid he met in middle school and not Choi Beomgyu, sole heir to his family's large business.

Beomgyu hates seeing Taehyun sad, and most of all the twisted feeling in his gut is tenfold worse this time around because he is the cause. “Whatever, why should I expect you to spend time with me when you can’t even spare me a minute to text back? You don’t even pay attention to me anymore” and each word is like a bullet to him.

Puncturing his lungs as no words dare to leave his mouth, how can he deny it when it’s the truth plain and simple?  

He watches as Taehyun puts down his chopsticks, “Beomgyu hyung…..do you still love me?” a voice so timid and small asks him.

Still

The way a single word can change the entirety meaning of a sentence is outstanding.

“Of course I do, I do love you Taehyun”

(I’m lying, I’m sorry but I don’t want to hurt you)

Taehyun looks into his eyes, and a small smile creeps up his down looking face. “I love you too” strangely that made Beomgyu feel worse. “How bout I make it up to you right away? I’ll clear my weekend and you can come and sleepover” he suggests, the effect is immediate.

The smaller boy gawks and breaks into a full tooth smile as if he couldn’t believe what he heard, “Really hyung? Yes please! I..I miss you so much” Beomgyu grins at the boy himself, Taehyun looks like he’s about to leap out of his seat with excitement. They continue to much away their lunches with a difference of Taehyun acting much livelier than a couple minutes ago.

Beomgyu burries down the immense guilt he feels at the moment, ignores how much he is realizing he had hurt Taehyun with his negligence or how much more he will be hurting the younger when the truth is revealed.

But it won’t, he’ll make sure it won’t.

_

There has to be something, anything to help with the effects of the disease. And whatever it is, Kai will dig through the entire section of the med books in the library if he has to in order to find it.

Maybe there isn’t a way to cure it without the obvious fall out of love or have your feelings return, but over the years he is sure that there must be some type of research done on the disease that can lessen the effect it has on the human body.

He had enough of Soobin handling it, Hueningkai will find some way to help his hyung.

The tall brown-haired boy frowns as he flips through the pages of yet another thick book that does not hold the information he wants, frustrated he groans and shuts the hard cover before shoving it back onto the shelf where he got it. He has already searched through two rows but to no avail, found nothing useful.

“Symptoms…...origins…. signs….” he mumbles words out as he speeds reads through each letter filled page. Unaware of an approaching figure, two fingers suddenly tap the top of the book he’s reading and the boy looks up only to lock gaze with Yeonjun’s gentle ones, the elder boy standing in front of him with a kind smile. “Hueningkai right? What are you reading there?”

Suddenly, Hueningkai somehow manages to yelp and lose grip of the book in his hands, the huge heavy thing dives down and lands on Yeonjun’s foot. There’s a chorus of hush from the librarians as they glare at him, Kai hurriedly swoops down to pick up the book while his mouth mutters a series of apologies to the senior. 

His face is on fire. He is sure he can feel the flames itself just as how he knows his face is getting redder than the shade of a tomato.

Yeonjun however covers his mouth with one hand to stifle his giggles, “You’re really cute Hueningie” and boy did the butterflies in his stomach go wild-No, not butterflies, he hates them now so dragonflies it is then. Yeonjun scans the cover while Kai is still trying to recollect himself at the sudden compliment, ‘Butterfly Touch: A Study’ , a research from not too long ago on Butterfly Touch.

The elder raises an eyebrow, suddenly curious to why Kai wants to find out more about the disease. “Oh um yeah....I…thanks…hyung” he’s stuttering on each syllable, mentally cursing himself for being such a flustered mess over his instant crush, Kai is about to scoot away and maybe disappear but Yeonjun calls out to him again.

“Are you trying to learn more about the Butterfly Touch?” the blond boy asks, Hueningkai feels a lump forming in his throat, he was nervous before but now it's for an entirely different reason.

The taller boy nods at the elder, unconsciously hugging the book clasp to his chest tighter. He doesn’t want to talk about Soobin’s problem with anyone but he’s not sure how to even doge the question if he was asked.

Not that Kai can blame Yeonjun for being curious, the medical section is at the far end of the library, meaning if Yeonjun is at this part, then he must have been rummaging about medical books as well. Plus, it's not everyday and everyone would simply just go and research about the disease, anybody who does will always be there with a reason.

And the reasons can only be that you have the disease or someone you care deeply about does.

And Kai of course, is the latter.

“Yeah…..” he mutters a reply, bracing himself for the questioning but is met with Yeonjun’s knowing glance instead. The elder nods and beckons him to follow him while he naturally, as if he had done this a million times over, plucks several books out of their spots as they move. “I’ve read and did quite a lot of self-research about it myself. Maybe I can help you find what you’re looking for” he explains.

Hueningkai’s lips form an ‘O’ and the boy leaves no choice but to follow along with Yeonjun, the shorter male leads them to an empty booth a little further away from other reading areas. He places the books he got and invites Kai to sit in front of him. The tall boy takes a seat, his heart hammering so wildly he feels as though Yeonjun might hear him.

The senior is handsome no doubt, but he’s quite soft-spoken and for all its worth, Kai admits the guy is darn too charming for his own good. And right now, he’s flipping through pages of the book he grabs, one finger twirling with the strands of his hair with his eyes focused on the pages, Hueningkai wasn’t sure why he finds it so goddamn attractive but here he is being a simp for a senior that he just met yesterday.

He’s staring like a creep isn’t he? god please someone help him-

Yeonjun hums and finally looks up, “So what is it that you want to know?” His expectant tone invites Kai to question him like he is some sort of expert. “Um…the cure...?” Kai nervously utters out with his hands fidgeting, but even he knows the obvious answer to that. “Ah Hueningie…. I’m afraid there isn’t one yet” Yeonjun trails off, he turns over a few pages and shows the section of the book to Kai.

“But…...there’s something close to it I suppose…..here”

The book looks much newer than the most he looked through, it must be the latest research, “It’s a sort of soothing cream, it won’t get rid of the butterflies but it’ll weaken the poison so the patient can bear it for a while longer” Yeonjun explains as Kai speed reads through the pages, taking in all the information of said cream.

A rush of excitement bubbling in him, this was it, this is what he’s looking for!

“This…this is great hyung! It's all I need to know if there isn’t a cure or anything” the nervously gone, the taller boy is beaming at Yeonjun while almost jumping in his seat. The relief that spread across Hueningkai’s face brings a smile to Yeonjun’s own facial feature. But the smile dims as soon as it comes as he points at the bottom part of the page “Well, there’s a catch though, while it’s quite easy to make…... see here? It’s the ingredients you need and well….”

Hueningkai scans the part Yeonjun is pointing at, “…the tear of sadness of whom the victim loves or a drop of the victim’s blood…. that’s…tough” the sudden revelation now making any joy he felt seconds ago fade.

Tears or blood, Taehyun isn’t a crier, he may be emotional but he holds his tears really well and Kai has never seen him actually cry the whole time they were friends, except that one time they got into a fight so bad that when they make up, that’s the only time he’s seen Taehyun cried.

And there’s no way he could get blood, not only is the option ridiculous as it involves Taehyun somehow spilling his blood but Soobin wouldn’t use the cream if he had known his soulmate had to get hurt and bleed for it.

“This isn’t fair…. why must he go through all this…. for loving someone” Kai mumbles grumpily while slumping in his seat, trying to make out what to do. Yeonjun closes the book, giving the other boy a knowing hum. “For a friend I suppose...?” Kai stiffen at the question but nodded.

But his mind is contemplating, Yeonjun helped him a great bunch by showing him this even though he didn’t ask, he bet the senior is curious. But how does he say a word without outing anyone that’s involve which includes his best friend as well in a way. “You don’t have to tell me Hueningie-”

“My friend has it, he’s had it for almost 3 years now, his body is giving away and…...and I want to help him…...just so he…. he can hold on a little longer….” Hueningkai rambles, eyes glued to the table not meeting Yeonjun’s gaze. “I see, you must really care about him…who knows…maybe his feelings will be returned” Hueningkai shakes his head.

“The one he loves already has another” Yeonjun nods awkwardly, “Um…maybe he’ll fall out of love if he can hold on long enough….” Kai chuckles at that, he wished that could be the case too. “Oh I do wish he could, but I don’t think so hyung…. he really won’t” Soobin is in too deep for that. Yeonjun quirks an eyebrow at the statement, “Why do you think so? Anything is possible Huening-ah”

Yeonjun doesn’t peg Hueningkai to be the pessimistic type, but it does concern him when the boy who probably has the prettiest smile he's ever seen is looking hunched and closed. There’s no telling what would happen in the future, he wants Kai to at least have some sense of hope that his friend isn’t a lost cause.

“Because he’s in love with his soulmate hyung….” Okay, that explains it, things just got a little more complicated. Yeonjun’s eyes widen at the new information, so not only was he in love with someone who is taken, but that someone is his soulmate? That’s rough.

Yeonjun thought of his own soulmate that shared the similar flower mark on his waist line, she’s great but he couldn’t even begin to imagine being more than close friends with Yeji , the very thought of it weirds him out even though he’s basically pan.

Not that Yeji would be a bad partner or anything, in fact she would’ve been the perfect partner with their chemistry yet he can’t fathom having romantic feelings for her because it would’ve felt like he is dating his un-identical and somehow younger twin from another set of parents despite only meeting her during middle school, they hit off pretty well, as expected of course as they were soulmates.

“Woah…. you certainly don’t hear that everyday” Yeonjun remarks which Kai hums in return, the two sits in an awkward silence until the bell rings, calling them to their classes. Hueningkai helps Yeonjun put away all the books back, he finds the elder tip toeing hard for a particular book, seeing his chance Hueningkai gathers up his courage and steps over.

He plucks the book out of Yeonjun’s grip and places it back on the highest shelf with ease, Yeonjun is tall but the shelf is really high that maybe only his and Soobin heights could reach it. “Oh…thanks'' Yeonjun mumbles with hues of pink dusting his cheeks not going unnoticed by Kai, “You tall folks…. really…” he could hear the elder fondly mutter in whispers.

All those years of watching Kdramas with those two soulmates finally paid off, but that doesn’t mean his own heart isn’t wilding it out at what he just did.

‘Holy shit-Fuck did I really just did that!?!?’ Hueningkai quickly bids the elder farewell, grabs his things and nyoomed out of the library without another word. As he sprints his way through the corridors there’s a fluttering feeling in his stomach which soon accompanies by dread.

Hueningkai pauses all the sudden, a hand slowly makes his way to his mouth in horror, “I…. I think I’m in love….” 

Chapter Text

Taehyun, Kai, and Soobin are walking together after school dismissal the next day, the three having realized they haven’t got to spend much time together lately decided to hang out at Soobin’s house and get some homework done.

At least, that was the plan, there’s no telling if they were actually going to get anything done. As they are walking the three are making small talk, Taehyun for one is glad that he finally got a hold of Soobin.

“Where were you for the past few days?” Taehyun asks his soulmate, Soobin gulps at the question “Just helping out some teachers with favors, Mrs. Cha will retire soon and they were busy with ceremony prep so I thought I’ll help out”

Taehyun nods with an ‘O’, they arrive at Soobin’s house that is currently void of any occupant. Ever since Soobin entered high school his parents trusted that he could take care of himself so they often leave for business trips that usually go on for months.

The three boys settle down and toss their bags at one corner and march into the kitchen, “What do you guys want?” Soobin asks the other two though he already knows what answer he’ll get; having known these boys they’ll definitely want some ramyeon.

“Ramyeon!!” It’s too predictable, the raven-haired male sighs fond.

The eldest of the three chuckles and pulls out three packs of Shin Ramyeon, Hueningkai suddenly bolts up to the elder and nearly had him staggering back, “Wait hyung! How bout me and Taehyun do the cooking this time and you go set up a drama or something?” Kai suggests, grabbing a confused Taehyun’s hand.

Soobin quirks his eyebrows at the boy, “And I should trust you in my kitchen because...?”

Kai gives him the puppy dog eyes which Soobin can only sigh to and smiles, Taehyun shrugs as he didn’t mind cooking for once “Okay but if it turns out inedible, you’re finishing it” he deadpans which Kai roll his eyes at.

“Please! We’re not that bad” at his words, Soobin who stops midtrack to walk to the living room turns around, and snorts.

The eldest wears an evil smirk “You burned mushroom soup-” Kai shrieks at him to leave with one pan in the air threateningly, “I was 10 years old hyung!!”.

Taehyun laughs his heart out while gripping the counter, the memory surfacing to his mind only made him bend over harder “Oh my god your mom’s face when she-”

“Can I please go one day without any of you two bringing up my dark pasts, I need new besties!” Kai exclaims exasperatedly, Taehyun slowly calms down from the laughter and now it’s his turn to wear the evil grin that mirrors Soobin’s.

“Sure~ Why don’t you ask Yeonjun hyung~? I bet he’ll be happy to, maybe even more than just friends~”

The reaction is worth getting hit on the face with a stack of green onions, Kai’s face burns bright red and the glare would’ve been scathing but this is Hueningkai so it looks like an angry puppy at most.

Soobin however jaw dropped at the implications of it, his eyes darting from Taehyun to Hueningkai wildly like some sort of bomb was suddenly dropped on him.

“You-What?! Yeonjun hyung?! As in Choi Yeonjun?!”   

“That’s it, you, OUT!!”

Hueningkai pushes Soobin out of the kitchen area, the boy’s protests fall on deaf ears with Hueningkai’s eager shoving. “Don’t worry hyung I’ll tell you later!!” Taehyun calls out to Soobin while ripping open the packets.

Once the elder is in the living room. Kai sighs to himself and shifts his gaze at Taehyun, the other male has moved on to cut some green veggies into bite-size pieces. The boy sighs to himself as he sees his chance, he has to make this work without Taehyun getting suspicious of him.

Hueningkai murmurs an apology under his breath, he already hates the fact he had to do this and in Soobin’s house too nonetheless. The taller boy grabs a pot and fills it up with water, he stuffs a piece of tissue in his pocket and moves to the sink to fill the pot with water.

Taehyun is still cutting the last bits of carrots, without warning Kai turns to move towards the stove hastily, knocking hard into Taehyun on purpose.

“Eek!” With the sound of metallic dropping rings around the kitchen, Taehyun holds up his bleeding finger with his face scrunched up in pain. There’s a thin cut along the side of his left pointer finger with crimson oozing out, “Oh god Tyun I’m so sorry!” Kai fishes out the tissue in his pocket and covers the cut with it.

The white thin fabric is slowly covered in red blotches.

Soobin peeks in and looks over to the two with concern, “Is everything okay there?”

Taehyun and Kai both shake their heads wildly, grinning as they do and if Taehyun’s looked strained, Soobin chose to not say anything if he had noticed it.

“Nothing hyung!” Taehyun pulls away from his hand and out of Soobin’s line of sight and to his back, Soobin gives the two of them a once over before heading back to the living room again. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to” Kai apologizes with a whisper although he meant it in a completely another way.

Taehyun smiles at him, “Heh it is fine, it’s an accident. I’ll just go clean and patch this up” unaware that there is no accident, that Hueningkai had done it on purpose.

And it did not help the guilt spiking in the pit of Kai’s stomach, it wasn’t an accident, he had hurt Taehyun on purpose. He pockets the bloody tissue, head in a daze wondering if this is truly the right thing to do.

Make Taehyun bleed so that Soobin can live a little longer, he supposed if he has to be the villain here, he’ll do it.

Hueningkai continues to cook the ramyeon until Taehyun returns to help him finish up, Taehyun even made a fizzy drink of a sort with some soda and juice he found in the fridge.

“Hyung we’re done!!”

The boys laid out the food on the coffee table and let the drama Soobin picked out plays, though it seems they won’t be paying much attention to it. All three boys are more interested in the food in front of them to care about who cheated on who to get who’s wealth.

Soobin sits in the middle of the two, “So about Yeonjun hyung-What happened to your hand!?” Soobin almost pounced onto Taehyun, his sweater paw hands holding Taehyun’s injured finger. But the boy gently pulls his hand away while assuring Soobin he is fine and it was just an accident.

Soobin does not look too happy about it but he relents, Kai coughs into his hand.

‘Can’t believe I’m doing this..’ he thought to himself, “So, I met Yeonjun hyung on the first day of school….and I just think he’s handsome, that’s all” he admits and can already predict the teasing that would soon follow. Soobin hums at the statement with agreement.

“I won’t object he is kinda cute, didn’t know you have a thing for the quiet nerd type tho”

Taehyun turns to face the eldest of the three, “Pardon? You know him?”

“Duh, he’s my classmate, which reminds me if you want his number, all you have to do is ask~” Soobin singsongs and pinches Kai’s cheeks as he does, “What? Why would I?!” Kai stuffs his face with food, slowly regretting that he opened the topic.

Taehyun rolls his eyes at him “Just admit you have a crush on hyung, you were stammering and red around him”

“No, I wasn’t! I t-talked to him just fine” Kai defends himself, recalling the way he is able to keep his shit together while being alone with Yeonjun in the library.

In fact, his head is still trying to process that that afternoon really did just happened, it felt like a fever dream somehow.

“Oh really? When?” Damn Taehyun and his need for edging him, Kai pouts as he turns his head away from the other two boys who are awaiting his answer with stupid grins.

“At the library! He saw me struggling with some reading material and helped and we communicate just fine without stutters or anything” But the redness on his face just had to betray him, Hueningkai couldn’t suppress the smile from forming on his lips when he thought of the memory.

Yeonjun’s sweet smile flashing only at him, gosh is he such a simp.

Soobin nods his head with mouth slightly opened in fake amazement, “Study date already? Huening ah aren’t you going too fast?” his finger poking the boy’s puffed cheeks, liking the reaction he’s getting from all the teasing.

Hueningkai’s face is beet red and a blushing mess, it is cute seeing how this is the first time Kai has shown any sort of feelings towards someone. It's so new to see him so easily flustered in such a way over a crush, though in the back of his mind Soobin just secretly hopes Kai doesn’t end up like him.  

Taehyun too wears an evil smirk now, slurping noodles while most likely cracking some sort of plan in his head, “Yeonjun hyung huh? Wow Kai you’re growing up and having crushes now, but for real though Hyuka, do you actually like him?” Soobin pesters, but Hueningkai can hear the genuine concern in his voice.

“To be honest I’m not sure myself, I mean I’ve always known I like boys but….I just don’t know?” the boy replies hesitantly, whatever fluttering sensation he feels around Yeonjun may give him the tingles in a nice way but to have actual feelings for someone?

That’s not something Kai can afford right now.

What if he gets plunge with the Butterfly Touch as well? It’s not like he’s good at reading people when it involves himself, Yeonjun might just see him as a little brother and he’s here with a possibility of falling a guy just because he’s smart, cute, and a whole gentleman which is very Kai’s type.

But Hueningkai dares not risk it, if he gets the disease as well who is going to help Soobin?

He feels Soobin slinging an arm over his shoulders, an assuring smile on his face “It’s okay if you don’t know, go by your own pace okay? Your happiness comes first no matter what yeah?” Soobin’s gentle but big hands ruffling his hair fondly.

“Hyung is right Kai, no need to rush we just started high school after all” Taehyun adds in.

The boy has made his way to Kai’s other side, now he has the two soulmates sandwiching him in between them and oddly he needed this, they always seem to know what to do to make him feel better. He hadn’t even realized he was so anxious when he was talking about Yeonjun.

Once again, he is reminded why he is going through all the hassle of this predicament because he loves both of his friends who gave him the world.

And Hueningkai will be damned if he isn’t going to do anything if fate wants to rip one of them from him.

_

Yeonjun hisses when Beomgyu latches himself onto his back, “Gyu you have legs for a reason” the elder groans but snorts when it's followed by a loud cackle from the other boy. “Don’t be a grinch, onwards YJ!” the boy loudly exclaims with glee and Yeonjun almost dropped him from all the writhing around.

“Don’t drop the hyung you brat!” but even in his chaste Yeonjun is grinning ever so fondly of the boy on his back. The little burns on his neck each time their skin graze did not faze him, he should have worn a scarf had he known Beomgyu is in a clingy mood.

Yeonjun’s family may not have been as wealthy as Beomgyu, his parents are divorced when he was 10 and the male currently is under his mother’s custody, the woman is an owner of a really popular clothing brand which Yeonjun used to model for a few times but quitted since he didn’t like it.

The two friends met at a social gathering when they were little and had been friends ever since.

Occasionally, Yeonjun would go over to Beomgyu’s house to help him with his studies or just to hang out, now he is close to approaching the door to the Choi’s Residence which is quite amusing since it's almost like he’s going home, being a Choi himself and all.

The housekeeper lady could only laugh at the endearing sight of the young master being piggyback by the older friend. “Lunch will be served soon young sirs” she greets them politely, “Eomonie don’t need to be so formal it’s just us!” Beomgyu exclaims loudly and the lady laughs again.

“Ah very well then Beomie, Yeonjunnie, if you need anything just ring me okay?”

“Thank you eommonie” Yeonjun thanked the woman and yelps when Beomgyu jumps off his back and drags him towards his room. The boy is sure lively today, Yeonjun watches as Beomgyu make throws his bad open and pulls out a bunch of his work to spread on the little floor table in the middle of the huge bedroom.

The boy’s bedroom is what you’d think you’d find on Pinterest, its white themed and bright but a mix of modern and vintage.

“So, can you help me with these questions from economics? I just don’t get this-”

“Okay, what’s up?”

Beomgyu blinks, a very bad attempt at faking the obvious nervousness he’s feeling. But it’s not like he can hide much from Yeonjun, he just never could, but he still tries anyway. “What do you mean? I just want homework help from the smartest hyung I know”

But of course, in true Choi Yeonjun fashion, he sees right through the boy, “Is this about Taehyun? Did something happen with him?” Beomgyu pouts, mumbling “Am I that easy to read?” under his breath.

“No not usually, you hide pretty well, it just doesn’t work on me” the younger boy rolls his eyes at the claim.

Yeonjun plops himself down across the younger boy, legs crossed as he throws off his blazer. “It's fine if you don’t want to talk about it, your relationship isn’t my business but…..I did notice things and I sure hope you know what you’re doing” Yeonjun comments, not looking at Beomgyu at all as the words leave his lips.

His hands are pulling out books and stationery from his bag, though he can tell Beomgyu got even tense by the way it’s all silent right after. “What…..what do you mean you noticed hyung?” guilty, Yeonjun could sense there’s guilt somewhere in that whisper coming from the boy.

Yeonjun has no qualms of doubt that Beomgyu isn’t aware of what he’s doing, but he has yet to decipher why the younger had done so. “You spend an awful lot of time with Soobin” It a statement of truth, Beomgyu knows this but there’s a clawing feeling at his throat to defend himself.

“So? He’s a friend”

Yeonjun expected the bite in the tone, he hadn’t meant to accuse Beomgyu of anything but Yeonjun can tell by the slight glare and the lip-biting that he struck a nerve which on most if not all occasions, meant he was right.

Yeonjun can read the boy like an open book and he likes to think it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time.

“I’m not gonna say anything, I’m sure you’re old enough to sort out rights and wrongs on your own but….” Beomgyu huffs and stands from his spot, the boy then proceeds to flop himself onto his bed. Yeonjun is onto him, and he knows he’s right.

The boy feels like screaming into the void of his pillows, his mind alone is enough, he doesn’t need his own best friend telling him he’s being an asshat, even if that was the case at the moment.

“A wound is going to hurt Gyu, it’s going to hurt no matter what was the reason it was inflicted. What is going to hurt, will always hurt, even if you had the best intentions at heart. Beomie, don’t do things you might regret later on, I’m not accusing, I’m warning you because I know…..it’s not just him who’s going to get hurt”

Beomgyu sist on the bed, unmoving as Yeonjun’s words rings in his head. “I hate you, I hate how you know me so well…” he grumbles, it annoys him at times, because he couldn’t decipher the older like how Yeonjun does to him.

Yeonjun is his longest friend, someone who he can truly call a friend for as long as he can remember.

It shouldn’t come off as a shock when the elder catches on so quickly, there’s no hiding from Yeonjun. “Well, you better learn to deal with it then, and maybe start doing your own work while you’re at it” the boy teases, trying to ease the tension.

Beomgyu picks himself up to frown at the boy with yellow hair, he knows his hyung is concerned and while he would love to find some comfort and unleash the messy bubbling feelings in his chest, he doesn’t think it's fair to Yeonjun.

“I won’t make you talk about it, but I’m here to listen if you wanna let it all out”

Sometimes, Beomgyu does wonder, why does he keep fucking over the people he cares about.

Yeonjun waits till he feels there’s a shift of movement in front of him, the other boy settling down to get on with his schoolwork. “Thanks hyung, you’re the best” the boy mumble, now a whole lot less tense than he was minutes ago.

Yeonjun fondly throws him a smile, his hands trailing up his neck to rub the newly formed clusters of tiny yellow butterflies that although he can’t them, he can feel that they’re there. Beomgyu never questioned why Yeonjun has always shown a lot of interest in Butterfly touch, and he’s glad he doesn’t.

What Beomgyu doesn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him. Besides, maybe he has found his cure, thinking of the tall junior who is the epitome definition of a shy puppy.

Maybe he’ll finally be free of this pain soon.

_

“Where are we going exactly?” Soobin whines, it has been an hour since Taehyun left because he had to attend a group project meeting with some of the other kids from his class. But the tall boy finds himself giving into Kai’s wishes to go somewhere.

Where? he wasn’t informed of, but Kai looks oddly determined.

But soon he’s being pulled into an all-white shop that smelled of antiseptic, Soobin gives Kai a baffled look that demands an explanation from the boy. The pharmacist catches a glimpse of them and sighs to herself, however, she doesn’t say anything just yet.

Hueningkai drags them up to the counter, “I want the BT soothing cream, is it available here?” she cast them a pitied expression and nods wordlessly. “We usually prepare it for our clients, do you have…. the personal ingredient?” Kai grimly nods and hands her the piece of tissue with Taehyun’s blood.

The counter lady gawks at him shockingly, “Oh….well this is a first” she muttered under her breath that did not go unheard by the two boys. She carefully slips on some surgical gloves and takes the specimen.

Soobin is growing frustrated with each second of being left in the dark about why he is even here.

The lady disappears into the staff backroom, leaving the boys alone. “Hyuka what is all this about? What was that…..it looked…it looked like blood” Hueningkai has been dodging his questions the entire way.

The boy is staring at the floor in silence, “It’s to help you hyung”

“W-What? Help me?” and for some reason, Soobin has a vague idea that this has something to do with his Butterfly Touch. But the lady is back again and in her palms is a bottle of reddish substance.

“Okay, so here are the instructions, it’s a little red since you used blood but don’t worry it's perfectly clean and safe to use. Just massage it over the marks till they slightly fade, remember they won’t completely fade, it just slows down the poison. That’ll be ₩10,000…..take care alright?”

Hueningkai gratefully smiles at the kind lady and pays for the medicine, she keeps looking at Soobin with a sad frown, and Soobin could do nothing but ignore it and avoid her gaze, he hates being pitied. The younger boy once again drags him out of the shop and back to the elder’s house.

Soobin steps in and glares at the boy, annoyance on his face “Hueningkai Kamal Kai what the fuck was that? What…what’s going on?” but Kai pushes him down to sit, face blank while his hands fiddle with the bottle cap.

The silent treatment is scaring him as much as it is frustrating him.

Kai squeezes a fair amount of the content on his hand and reaches for Soobin’s forehead where there are a few butterfly marks. However, Soobin moves away before he could “Hueningkai I don’t know what’s going on but you are not rubbing that on me till you tell me what the fuck-”  

“I had to!! I had to cause I don’t want you to die!!” Kai finally breaks, screaming as the tears he’s been keeping in bursts out. “It’s what I found out today….how to slow down the…the poisoning…..hyung I’m sorry but I had…I had to please” Soobin takes a deep breath although his own breathing had gone shaky.

“That’s…...that’s why his finger was h-hurt wasn’t it? So….so you can get his blood….” He whispers as if he is trying to digest those words himself.

“It was that or his tears of pain…and you know Tyun doesn’t…I…I’m sorry hyung, I’m sorry I hurt h-him but what else can I do?” Hueningkai sobs through his sentence, the guilt eating him up.

Soobin slumps in his seat, bewildered by the revelation. But he leans his head down and takes off the jacket he is wearing, “Oh Kai…...you…you’re too good for this world aren’t you?” he rests his forehead on Hueningkai’s shoulder.

There’s only so much going through his mind now but the fact Hueningkai, the sweetest and angelic boy he knows went to such lengths to try and help him.

He didn’t have to, yet he did, while Soobin pathetically, secretly wished he died quicker because he’s tired of the pain.

Soobin silently shed his own tears, his body slightly trembling while he lets Hueningkai apply the soothing cream. Tries to focus on the faint sound of the washing machine whirring, the noises of the neighborhood kids outside playing.

Anything other than the fact that’s his soulmate blood being massaged on his skin.

“I’m sorry”

Soobin goes to sleep that night with Kai’s arms around his torso, hugging him tightly from his back. The younger boy couldn’t shake off the guilt so Soobin thought a night with him as his makeshift plushie might help.

After all, for the first time in years, he could sleep peacefully.

For the first time in a while, pain isn’t all he could feel.