Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tanaka: thats fucking stupid

Noya: ur stupid

Tanaka: no u

Tanaka: wat I said made SENSE U DONT GET IT

Noya: IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE IF NO OME ELSE GETS IT

Daichi: What is it this time?

Tsukishima: tbh I don't even remember.

Tsukishima: they've been saying "ur stupid" and "no u" back and forth for three minutes.

Tsukishima: idk how it started.

Kunimi: It's just stupid.

Tanaka: it makes sense.

Noya: NO

Noya: wait.

Tanaka: SEE????

Daichi: Okay, what's this about now?

Hinata: Tanaka was saying that when he dies he wants only his dick cremated into ashes then have someone replace the pepper with it so his dick can be in everyone.

Kunimi: jesus christ.

Tsukishima: I'm not surprised.

Kageyama: .

Kageyama: It makes sense???

Tsukishima: Oh my Lord.

Tsukishima: Someone get Asahi, I need him to fucking pray for you guys

Noya: tsukishima it makes sense

Noya: think about it.

Tsukishima: I did and it does and that's why I hate you even more.

Daichi: You really got Tsukishima to agree with you?

Daichi: The Noya?

Noya: oh

Noya: OH YES

Tsukishima: no.

Kunimi: you did agree.

Tsukishima: oh fuck off.

Hinata: how did that conversation even start?

Kageyama: im pretty sure Tanaka just brought it up.

Daichi: Knowing him, yes he did.

Tanaka: my sisters drunk

Tanaka: and she said go suck an ashy dick

Tanaka: idk who to it's just me here

Tsukishima: I'm willing to bet that she was talking to you.

Tanaka: NO.

Tanaka: but then that got me thinking

Kunimi: that's dangerous for you

Hinata: oh no there's two of them.

Kunimi: what

Noya: ur a lot like tsukishima.

Kunimi: ok angry bird.

Noya: WHAT

Tsukishima: lmao

Suga has logged on.

Suga: what's up fuckers

Kageyama: but why do this

Hinata: why not

Kageyama: but why

Hinata: why not.

Suga: I said

Suga: WHATS UP FUCKERS

Tanaka: hi.

Suga: Hello Tanaka.

Suga: Hello children and Daichi.

Daichi: Hi...

Suga: what did they do

Tsukishima: exist

Suga: shut up

Yamaguchi has logged on.

Suga: but what did they do?

Yamaguchi: and when you think of me,

Yamaguchi: am I the best you've ever had?

Hinata: share one more drink with me, smile even though you're sad!

Daichi: Tanaka said he wants his dick to be cremated, replaced for pepper so everyone can have his dick in them.

Kageyama: I'm walking the long road.

Kunimi: watching the sky fall

Suga: I...

Noya: the lace in your dress

Noya: tangles my neck

Noya: how do I LIVE

Tanaka: THE DEATH OF A BACHELOR

Hinata: OH OH HO, LETTING THE WATER FALL

Yamaguchi: THE DEATH OF A BACHELOR

Kageyama: seems so fitting for

Kunimi: happy ever after 

Tanaka: HOW COULD I ASK FOR MORE

Hinata: LIFETIME OF AFTER AT THE EXPENSE OF THE DEATH OF A BACHELOR

Suga: me @ daichi

Daichi: I didn't even DIE.

Tanaka: yall hear smth?

Noya: THE DEATH OF A DAICHI

Yamaguchi: LETTING THE VOLLEYBALL FALL

Hinata: THE DEATH OF A DAICHI

Kageyama: seems so fitting for

Tanaka: THE LIFE WITHOUT A CAPTAIN

Tanaka: hOOOOOO

Noya: HOW COULD WE WIN ONE MORE

Hinata: ONE MORE POINT FOR US AT THE EXPENSE OF THE DEATH OF A DAICHI

Suga: I think we found this group chat name.

Daichi: No,

Daichi: Suga.

Nishinoya: daisans gonna snap you

Kunimi: idk, thanos is too aggressive for his personality

Kunimi: someone who's like, relaxed and cool but could fucking snap your body in half

Tanaka: Sans.

Tsukishima: NO

Nishinoya: DAICHIS MEGALOVANIA

Hinata: don't forget gironos theme

Nishinoya: YES

Tsukishima: N O

Daichi: Gio what?

Kageyama: Gi joe lol

Tsukishima: no dumbass

Yamaguchi: I think he was just saying giojoe.

Kageyama: ^^^^

Kageyama: yea dUmBAsS

Tsukishima: I'm gonna Megalovania you 

Kageyama: Do it 

Daichi: Sigh....

Kunimi: now this is the death of a daichi.

Chapter Text

Tsukishima: remind me why kunimi got added

Kunimi: idk 

Kunimi: I think the tangerine did 

Hinata: that was I. 

Tsukishima: ok 

Tsukishima: but why 

Kunimi: idk he seems to like me 

Hinata: u speak as if I'm some street animal 

Kunimi: aren't you??? 

Noya has logged on.

Hinata: what animal would I be? 

Tsukishima: a parrot. 

Hinata: because they're small and cute?? 

Tsukishima: no because they're annoying as fuck and have no filter. 

Kunimi: ouch. 

Noya: TSUKISHIMA!!!!!

Noya: DONT UNSUKT SHOYO

Tsukishima: I'm going to insult your ability to spell.

Hinata: tsukishima:(((

Tsukishima: gross.

Suga has logged on.

Noya: lean down tsukishima

Noya: im gonna teach u respect

Tsukishima: wow. I'm so threatened.

Suga: HEY

Suga: WHERE ARE YOU THREE??????!

Tsukishima has logged off.

Suga: DONT RUN AWAY!!!!

Suga: @Tsukishima

Suga: NOYA!!!

Suga: HINATA!!!!

Kunimi: what

Noya: SHOYO RUN

Noya: SAVE URSELF

Suga: GET YOUR ASS TO PRACTICE NOW

Suga: I CAN GET NOYA OR TSUKISHIMA BEING LATE BUT YOU HINATA???

Hinata: Im so sorry!!!!!

Hinata has logged off.

Noya: ok

Noya: i can explain.

Kunimi: you can't explain shit.

Daichi has logged on.

Noya has logged off.

Suga: thats what i thought.

Daichi has logged off.

Kunimi: wtf???

Yamaguchi has logged on.

Yamaguchi: i hate seeing those weird ads for apps

Yamaguchi: like, why can't this one person drag this box with an arrow pointing towards the left to the left??

Yamaguchi: they drag it in every possible direction OTHER than the left

Suga: YAMAGUCHI

Yamaguchi has logged off.

Yamaguchi has logged on.

Yamaguchi: what happened 

Yamaguchi: what did I do??

Suga: WHY ARENT YOU IN PRACTICE

Yamaguchi: im on my way 😭

Yamaguchi: I had to go to the bathroom

Suga: oh

Suga: ok, carry on.

Yamaguchi has logged off.

Kunimi: he does have a point

Suga: oh yeah, those ads suck

Daichi has logged on.

Daichi: @Asahi

Suga: oh did I forget one

Daichi: I don't know

Daichi: im just making sure he doesn't skip before noya goes on a manhunt, he's already getting the broken broom.

Suga: that's not good.

Asahi has logged on.

Asahi: Hi, sorry

Asahi: I had to talk to the counselor.

Asahi: I'm on my way

Daichi: ok

Suga: oh, you're coming?

Asahi: Yes, I'm not skipping anymore.

Suga: Oh...

Daichi: suga, what did you do.

Suga: I may

Suga: or may not have, you can never know

Suga: allowed noya to go on his man hunt and he already took off running like a hell hound

Asahi: WHAT

Kunimi: i think you're the hell hound here💀

Daichi: Huh.

Daichi: Alright.

Asahi: DAICHI???

Daichi: Look, there's nothing I can do other than advise you to run

Daichi: preferably here

Asahi: OH GOD I CAN SEE NOYA

Suga: what was that??????

Daichi: I think that was Noya yelling

Kunimi: what the hell goes on in Karasuno

Hinata has logged on.

Hinata: where did noya-san go????

Hinata: he was supposed to help me with my receives

Hinata: and coach said he's not waiting practice on the late people

Suga: noya went to go hunt down Asahi

Hinata: wasn't asahi-san coming though?

Suga: that doesn't matter

Daichi: yes it does.

Suga: that doesn't matter

Asahi has logged off.

Daichi: Suga

Daichi: if Asahi can't play during golden week, I'm blaming you.

Suga: it'll be fine

Daichi: it better be.

Suga: it'll be fine

Chapter Text

Tanaka: does any1 else hate when the time skips forwd???

Tsukishima: you mean daylight savings...?

Tanaka: ya that

Noya: I hate it

Noya: i think im awake at a decent time then BOOM

Noya: 3am.

Suga has logged on.

Tanaka: xactly bro

Suga: what are you guys doing up???

Suga: it's 3???

Suga: we have practice in a few hours????

Suga: we're going to the lodging tonight

Tanaka: we're playing lethal company

Suga: are you guys actually??

Noya: ya

Noya: shoyo's the only one alive rn so we have nothing better to do while he runs around in the dark

Tsukishima: maybe if you two were paying attention and didn't step on a landmine, we'd be alive.

Tanaka: look

Tanaka: I can explain

Tsukishima: yeah, explain.

Tsukishima: go ahead

Tsukishima: give me a good reason.

Tanaka: noya was giving me head

Noya: bro what the fuck????

Suga: What???????

Tsukishima: I wish I stepped on a landmine irl.

Hinata has logged on.

Hinata: GUYSSS

Hinata: IM LOST

Hinata: WHERE ARE YOU

Tanaka: srry Hinata we died a long time ago

Hinata: WHAT????

Tsukishima: yeah, Tanaka made sure of it

Tanaka: listen here

Tanaka: to spite u, im stepping on another one.

Tsukishima: wow, that's totally going to hinder us.

Tsukishima: please

Tsukishima: whatever you do, don't do it.

Tanaka: I dont like ur tone

Noya: bro

Noya: it's text

Noya: text cant have tone

Tanaka: it totally can

Tanaka: just depends on punctuation and how you read it

Noya: isnt that ur own fault then??? for reading it in a way that it offended you????

Tanaka: Hinata, it's almost midnight, u should leave

Noya: DNT CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Suga: ok, I'm glad you're all getting along, but you should go to bed

Tsukishima: i wanted to hours ago

Tanaka: u could have

Tanaka: but u chose not to

Tanaka: u like us 🥰🥰🥰

Tsukishima: Gross.

Noya: 🥰🥰🥰🥰( ˘ ³˘)♥

Tanaka: LMAOO HINATA JUST SCREAMED

Noya: WHAT HAPPENED

Tanaka: bracken

Noya: LOL

Suga: ??

Daichi has logged on.

Noya: uh oh

Daichi: What are all of you doing up????

Suga: they're playing lethal company

Daichi: at 3am???? during golden week??

Suga: I said the same thing

Suga: but Tsukishima is playing with them

Daichi: is he actually???

Suga: yeah, so I'd say it's fine

Daichi: what even is lethal company??

Suga: it's basically this game where you and your team collect scrap to sell to the company. there's monsters and stuff there too you have to avoid. you have to meet a certain quota within 3 days and if you don't, you die

Daichi: what kind of game is that??

Suga: it's actually kind of fun

Tanaka: NOYA

Noya: LMAOOOOOOO

Tanaka: THATS VILE

Tanaka: U CANT JUST THROW SOMETHING ON THE LANDMINE WHEN IM NEAR IT

Noya: GET GUD

Daichi: ????

Daichi: is this like when they played Minecraft?

Suga: omg you're such a boomer

Daichi: .

Suga: I mean, you're such a daddy

Suga: DAD**

Suga: DAD

Suga: I MEANT DAD

Tanaka: sure you did

Suga: shut up you said noya was giving you head

Noya: I WAS NOT

Tanaka: mR eLeCtRiC sEnD hIm tO tHe PrInCiPaLs oFfIcE aNd hAvE HiM eXpElLeD

Noya: THIS IS Y I BLEW U UP

Asahi has logged on.

Asahi: What's going on?

Asahi: Whys everyone awake so early?

Daichi: I'm sorry, Asahi, they're playing a game

Daichi: and arguing

Noya: let's not forget suga called daichi daddy

Suga: STOP IT WAS A TYPO

Tanaka: WAT KIND OF TYPO IS THAT

Tsukishima: Noya-san

Tsukishima: there's a bracken around if you want to get your throat fucked up again.

Noya: OK THATS IT

Noya: TSUKISHIMA COME HERE

Noya: IM SPIKING A VOLLEYBALL AT U LATER

Tsukishima: don't yell at me in voice chat and the group chat you weirdo

Tanaka: LMAOOOO

Asahi: what are they playing???

Asahi: And Noya-san getting his throat messed up again?? What happened?

Suga: Tanaka said Noya gave him head

Noya: I DIDNTTTTTT

Asahi: oh

Asahi: It's okay Noya, we won't judge you

Noya: RYUUU

Tanaka: LMAOOOOO

Hinata: NOYA-SANNN 😭😭😭😭

Hinata: PLS HELP ME

Noya: SHOYO WHAT HAPPENED

Hinata: EVRYONE KEEPS DYING AND NOT COLLECTING SCRAP

Hinata: UVE BEEN STANDING STILL

Tsukishima: yeah, idk how you haven't died yet

Noya: tbh idk

Kunimi has logged on.

Noya: im not complaining t

Kunimi: wtf is going on

Tanaka: LMAO

Tsukishima: ???

Hinata: Tsukishima are you dead too

Tsukishima: no im in the ship

Tsukishima: was looking at the monitor

Noya: guys im hearing somet

Tsukishima: Tanaka's body is down the hall to the right if you wanna grab that

Suga: do you guys not have radios???

Hinata: honestly I forgot about the radios

Hinata: my phone was right here

Kunimi: why did noya stop mid text??

Noya: GIRL

Noya: GIRL

Noya: GIRL

Asahi: Are games getting stranger these days or is it just me?

Daichi: it's probably because of how they're describing and reacting

Suga: Girl????

Hinata: what??

Tanaka: bro

Tanaka: there's nothing there

Noya: THERES A GIRL

Noya: TSUKISHIMA PLEASE

Hinata: is noya-san out??

Tsukishima: no he died

Noya: WTF WAS THAT???????

Tanaka: LMAO HIS HEAD EXPLODED

Kunimi: what the fuck

Hinata: ???

Hinata: ok I'm coming back ig

Tsukishima: ok

Noya: THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL IN A RED DRESS MAN

Noya: SHE WAS STARING AT ME

Noya: THEN SHE LAUGHED

Noya: AND SHE CHASED ME AND I DIED

Tsukishima: ok schizo

Noya: DON'T GASLIGHT ME

Noya: I KNOW WAT MY EYES EYED

Tsukishima: your eyes didn't eye shit cause you exploded.

Daichi: okay, well, I'm going to bed

Daichi: GO TO BED

Daichi: BEFORE I BENCH YOU GUYS

Daichi has logged off.

Asahi has logged off.

Suga: lol

Suga: tbh he can't really bench you guys, you're literally half the team

Tanaka: LMAO SUGA

Suga: but yes. go to sleep before I convince the coach to do it anyway

Noya: Suga-sannn

Suga: no buts.

Suga has logged off.

Kunimi has logged off.

Tanaka: ok but is there actually a little girl??

Tsukishima: no

Noya: WTF DID I DIE TO THEN??

Noya: BABUSHKA???

Tsukishima: idk

Tsukishima: the bracken?? I did tell you he was around

Noya: I SAW A GIRL

Noya: IN REDDD

Noya: WTA MORE DO U WANT

Tsukishima: video evidence??

Tsukishima: there's no little girl in lethal.

Noya: ???????$)3($9

Tanaka: LMAO

Hinata: Tsukishima there might be an issue

Tsukishima: what

Hinata: I may or may not be preyed upon

Tanaka: by what???

Hinata: a child.

Tanaka: LMAO WHAT

Tsukishima: just don't look behind you

Hinata: ??

Hinata: I already did once

Noya: YOU BELIEVE SHOYO???????

Tsukishima: oh, well,

Tsukishima: there is a child.

Noya has logged off.

Tsukishima: lol

Chapter Text

Yamaguchi: don't you guys find it wack how we've had this chat for a while and don't have any nicknames

Tsukishima: no

Kageyama: not particularly

Hinata: we can have nicknames??

Suga: shouldn't you guys be sleeping or something? it's night and it's gonna take us a bit to get at the lodge.

Noya: u always say we shld be sleeping

Suga: BECAUSE YOU SHOULD

Yamaguchi has set their name to gamagucci.

Noya: LMAO WHAT

gamagucci: whats good

Noya has set Suga's name to mom.

Noya has set Daichi's name to daddy.

Noya has set their name to ROLLING THUNDER.

ROLLING THUNDER: awesome.

Hinata: I wanna do it too!!!

Noya has set Hinata's name to bouncing orange.

Tsukishima: more like annoying orange.

Kageyama: lol

gamagucci: shut up tsukki

mom: ?

mom: if Tsukishima apologized I would've been concerned

Tsukishima: lmao

Tsukishima: no.

Kageyama: by the way

Kageyama: what's lethal company

ROLLING THUNDER: omg we're getting u to play it

Kageyama: ???

Tanaka: ur gonna have so much fun

Tsukishima: the king playing a video game? I'd love to see that.

Kageyama: shut up.

mom: not like you guys can soon

ROLLING THUNDER: o ya thats true

ROLLING THUNDER has set Tanaka's name to q ball .

q ball: NOYA

Tsukishima: lol

q ball: TSUKISHIMA IM GONNA KICK UR ASS

Tsukishima: I'd love to see you try

q ball has set Tsukishima's name to blond emo.

gamagucci: ok as funny as that is

gamagucci: thats not even true

q ball: do u have any other ideas

bouncing orange: lol

ROLLING THUNDER has set blond emo's name to blond emu.

blond emu: what?????

ROLLING THUNDER: ya kno

ROLLING THUNDER: lik the bird?

blond emu: I know what an emu is.

q ball: lmao noya

mom: I can't with you guys

mom: at the very least, you should take a nap

Kageyama: tanaka-san isn't sleeping, so we honestly should.

blond emu: I hate that you're right

gamagucci: way ahead of you

mom: ??

gamagucci has logged off.