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Chapter Text

The first thing she brought back to life was her family’s bonsai tree.

The tree had lived for generations. Her parents say it was first cared by her great-grandmother’s grandfather as a wedding gift to his wife. The tree was family for generations. Every formal photo always included it in the background. When it began to die, Sage’s heart broke in two.

The emergence of First Light made her feel something coming from the bonsai. It spoke in a way she cannot explain. It was always serene, calming her every time she gets upset. When its ‘voice’ got weaker – leaves falling without stopping – bark breaking on its own, Sage wanted to stop them.

After spending one afternoon napping whilst watching over it, she did.

The cost: one of the temple’s cats.

It was sleeping on her lap that time. When Sage woke up, the first thing her mind registered was crystals forming around the tree like a cocoon before it burst—revealing the bonsai now green and healthy as though it had travelled back in time. She did not realise the cat was dead on her lap, until she stood up and it fell with to the wooden floor with a sickening thud.

She told no one how the cat died. Everyone assumed its time had come as it lived years longer than a usual cat’s lifespan. One of her older monk-in-training cousins accused her of killing it which Sage could not deny but cannot admit at the time.

She found her ability to heal much later.

A group of gangsters thought it was a good idea to raid a centuries-old monastery thinking the residents knew nothing more than worshipping. Sage along with some relatives fend them off though not without getting hurt themselves. One of the gangsters had a machete instead of a bat like his members, and left a large gash on her father’s arm. She was merely putting pressure on the wound when a shimmer of jade green light emitted from her hands, swirling around the wound until a fainted pink line replaced it.

Her family had plans to make her healing a priority. Some suggested that she should be trained at a medical school. Some suggested that she should wait out until she knows how to control it. A few others suggested on turning her to Kingdom to ‘study’ her power.

Even as a naïve young woman, Sage knew very well what Kingdom did to every Radiant in their grasp. Founding out she was Radiant only turned the worry into terror. Hearing the last suggestion immediately made her lost her composure, retorting at the top of her lungs, fled to her room and cried herself to sleep.

Fortunately, she remained a monk. She was tutored by her village doctor and helped him with his clinic from time to time. Her powers still remain a knowledge only known by her family and her doctor. Kingdom’s eyes were away from her home.

That was until she used revival again. Only this time, she revived a person—her own mother.

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Chapter Text

Ghost encounters was not in Sage’s list of fears. Some people think religious folks can only help solving mystical issues. Young Sage had quite a temper. She almost always ousted a person asking to ‘drive spirits away’ when said person pretended to be a devout Buddhist but were nowhere near it.

“No wonder the spirits haunt you,” she muttered once, receiving a sneaky pinch on her arm from her father one second later.

Faith was more than believing who you worship.

Faith was how you live your life.

No matter how strict it can be, it was far better than to taste corruption and willing to be swallowed by it.

Sage feared death but not ghosts. Ghosts were either spirits of the dead or creatures made to be unseen to the naked eye. Her main method to be fearless against such was to not think about it. Her younger cousins admired her for that.

Ghost were not in her list of fears, but then she brought her mother back from the dead.

Her family kept her within the monastery walls for the longest time in her life. They forbid her from coming out even to just garden or watching the sky. Sage thought Kingdom had sent an invisible drone spying on her home while the press urged themselves to break in and see her.

Sage wanted to end it all. She prayed everyday so that when she wakes on the next dawn, her powers are gone. She will not be a burden to her family anymore. Even if the family tree was gone, or her father’s arm bearing a huge scar, it was better than this.

At least her mother would talk to her again.

Her father had no clue what was going on. He was only joyous that the love of his life had gained a second chance. He spared no thoughts if the revival required a cost—embracing his wife and daughter in their private house and slept together in one room for the first time in years. Her mother only showed relief the day of her resurrection. Afterwards, she grew distant.

 Younger Sage did not understand. She was fresh into adulthood at the time though the immaturity of her adolescence still remained.

The thug who killed her haunted her mother whereas Sage was unbothered. Sage could not recall how exactly it happened, but one thing she was sure was the thug killed her mother, him suddenly lying lifeless on the ground, light green shimmers flowing from her hands, crystals engulfing her mother and exploded, revealing her alive and breathing.

Sage knew she had killed the thug for that. However, the realization hit slow.

Her mother had known before she did. When brochures of a military training curricular went about, her mother passed it to Sage and demanded her to join it. Sage wished she had asked her why but her mother gave a look stating she wanted to hear nothing more than a “yes”. Filial piety took over and Sage obeyed her.

Hardly a week she returned home after months of training; a Kingdom van came to the monastery saying Sage was to be collected as requested.

Betrayal washed her entirety. She did not want to go. Not to these people. Who requested her to be collected?

She was certain it wasn’t her father, or her guru grandparents or her monk cousins. She hoped it wasn’t her mother. Mothers were supposed to protect their daughters. She wouldn’t send word to Kingdom of her abilities.

Her thoughts folded on each other as she bid goodbye to her family. Her mother’s arms did not pull her close even though they were around her. Sage looked into her mother’s eyes and found something she had not seen since the day she returned from the dead:

Relief.

Mother did call them. Why, ma? Are you afraid of me?

The words fail to come out as Sage pulled away, following Kingdom to their base in China whilst fighting back tears with a blank expression. Her first night there marked the day ghosts were included in her list of fears.

She spent hours in her dark quarters with tears streaming down her face. How could you, ma? I saved you. I brought you back alive. Why did you do this? She would have prayed if her broken heart had not feel so hurt and afraid. Her warrior side, too, had been latent.

When her eyes began to droop, she heard a sound of a cloth dropping.

Once, then twice, then thrice.

Her clothes were still tucked in her luggage as Sage was overwhelmed with her feeling than to unpack. Could it be a guard doing his rounds? That cannot be. The sound was too loud to be from the outside, not with metal doors.

A part of Sage told her, leave it be. Just go to sleep.

Her faithful part said, you must see — show it no fear and it will not bother you. She listened and quickly scanning the room at every corner without moving from her bed.

Her heart began to pound, but Sage eased it and went to an uninterrupted sleep.

When she woke up, she saw him. The thug.

Bloodied and reeked with malice like the day he died – pressing invisible hands on her body as though he ought to crush her to the bones. Sage’s mind went in shambles. Every protection mantra and courage against the mystic forgotten. She tried to scream for help. The thug spoke instead.

“You… Kill… For life… Kill… To bring back life… That’s already… Gone… Defiler… Balance breaker… I will drag you to hell with me!”

Once her body reclaimed itself, Sage swiftly sat up from the bed yelping, sweating and new tears pooling her eyes. The thug vanished as sudden as he appeared.

Ghosts was something she wasn’t supposed to be afraid of. Since that moment, however, she grew anxious at every movement at the edge of her eyesight. The thug was the first. Following her years in Kingdom, many more came.

Sage could not ask for help. The first thing she wanted to do was to call her family and talk to her parents. Kingdom had limited every Radiant’s contact with their family—treating them as if it was pre-internet eras.

Sage did find a way to stop them. She stopped questioning her resurrection ability.

Preventing the thought can only last for long…

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Chapter Text

Is this it? This is how I die?

They were swarming her—the ghosts. Clones, people from her earth, people whose death she witnessed, whose death she could have prevented. All of them.

They were waiting. They’ve been waiting for this moment. She tried not to listen or look at their faces, but she was too tired to do anything.

“Defiler.”

“False angel of death.”

“Balance breaker.”

“Killer.”

“We shall drag you with us.”

“With us—”

“With us—”

“—to hell.”

“No need to feign sadness, healer.”

“You know it yourself.”

“You deserve this.”

She deserved it. She accepted that. She took lives to bring back lives that was supposed to leave the world as fated. She ruined everything. All because of a tree and her love for her mother who never appreciated it.

I still love you, ma. Come back to the monastery, please. Say proper goodbye to Pa and Yeye. Say goodbye to me.

Sage could not think of anything else. Pain began to consume her like that of fire ants to a corpse. She should scream for help, hold pressure on her wound, get the contraption off her stomach—something!

Tears blurred her weak eyes as breathing grew harder by the second. Images of her family monastery came, her parents, the friends she made at Kingdom, her friends in the Protocol.

I don’t want to leave. Buddha, I don’t want to die. Give me a chance, I beg you. I will not throw away that chance. I’m sorry for my mistakes. Let me ask forgiveness from my family and friends. Let me make amend of things first.

Please—Please—Please—

Sage made her last attempt to fix her breathing before giving in.

Her eyes caught light bursting from a distance and a dark figure with glowing arms and three long marks on a black face. He ran and knelt beside her, his strong hands oddly gentle and comforting against her wound.

He called out to her but Sage knew no more.

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Chapter Text

When she first met him, Sage was not sure what she felt about him.

Bewildered might be the best word for it. He first appeared in front of her and other new recruits of Valorant Protocol from dark smokes and shadows. He wore some sort of armour as though it was design to hold his body together. His arms were heavily bandaged and whichever place was exposed, there was no skin underneath it but a blue glow.

Most noticeable part was his face (mask?). She could not see his chin or neck even under the brightest light. Sage subconsciously made multiple theories were his eyes, mouth, nose and such were, then stopped—feeling ridiculous.

And his entirety was glitching like a corrupt computer image, too.

Is he in pain? Sage thought as she observed him from afar. Oddly, she did not feel pain radiating from him. What she did felt was that he was there but … not there.

Long story short, Agent 03 codename: Omen was the most bizarre Radiant she has met so far.

Personality-wise he was quiet, extremely reserved, hunched constantly, and speak complicated English. The two other Controllers—Brimstone and Viper—gotten used to his oddness and were never worried if he did not show up in certain occasions. He called Viper by her real name, as well. Only by her real name. She threatened the rest to not refer by real names unless they want to spend a week with food poisoning.

Viper knew who Omen was, and who he used to be. However, neither of the two opened up their past. Brimstone seemed to know but he only knew a part of their shared history and the rest was theirs to tell.

Sage respected that. She has her own secrets to keep. Her mother’s betrayal, the fact that her powers ‘evoke’ the ghosts if she questioned it, her disturbance in the natural balance. The ghosts part sounded very unbelievable. Even if she does talk about it, would her listener believe her?

Every day, Sage prayed to her small shrine to the Buddha that her revival ability will never be needed. It was a foolish thought. Her new work was a suicide mission one after another.

Plant a spike, start a gunfire, steal some Radianite, escape.

Fend off attackers, find the spike, sometimes defuse, take the spike, leave.

Always together in a team of five. When planting, they must stick together. When defending, they must give callouts on whatever info they received.

For six months, nobody died. Then the new month turned up, someone did. Omen died.

They were defending Bind. While their clones were cornered at B site thanks to Cypher’s traps. Sova and Brimstone went there to help eliminate them. Sage and Omen almost followed until they heard the sound of a spike initiating in A site.

Omen quickly ran in and threw his paranoia at a direction. Gunshots fired from another direction, and a bullet went through his head.

Her heart stopped for a split second. A silent scream escaped her mouth. She had just watched her teammate die. His long exhale echoed in her head. That means she will have to revive him. Will he be alright after the revival? Will he disown her—requested her to leave the Protocol? The ghost will swarm her nights later on—

Sage bit her lip to cease the thoughts. Enough whining! Fight!

She managed to shoot Omen’s killer, a Viper clone. Used her wall to trap the other clone in a corner and rushed to defuse the spike. The piston was only a few inches away from the top when the clone broke her wall, aiming its Marshall on her.

It was suddenly knocked back dead by another Marshall from afar. Sova ran to her as the spike finally defused.

Her hands were weak around the defusing device. “Thank you, Sova,” she breathed out.

The Russian hunter jogged to her with concern. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I have no injuries.”

“Good, good.” He looked around the site. “Where is Omen?”

Sage felt her lips go dry. She put an effort and pushed the anxiety away. “In there.” She pointed at the doors leading to A site tower where Omen’s body lay.

Sova froze. “No…”

“I can help him.” Sage quickly said. Sova gave her a confused look. “I can bring dead people back to life, remember?”

“Oh, right!” He gave a hand to help her up and they both dashed for Omen.

Seeing him then, it was clear his body was solid. His clothes did not sink on itself. The glow from his arms were gone too, but they remain in shape of arms. He was definitely human before … or still was.

But that should be answered another time. Sage leveled her breathing—long in, long out—gather her healing powers within her body, feeding the desire to return the dead to the living. Light green ribbons merge from her and she transferred them to Omen’s body.

His limp body levitated in the air before crystals engulf him. It stayed there for a second, and burst into pieces. Omen’s three-marks appeared as he took in a big gasp of air. He landed on his feet, staggering before falling to his knees.

“What—I let go for a second! …What happened?”

He wasn’t angry. Confused and overwhelmed, sure, but he did not sound entirely glad of being alive again.

As Sova helped him to his feet, Omen stared at Sage who suddenly lost her guts to check for injuries the revival did not fix. She forced her guts back.

She did a further check on him once they return to base. While Sage only said necessary things regarding his recovery, Omen did not say a word. He did after Sage told he was excused.

“Do you ever wonder where you took it from – the life you gave me?”

Everyday, she wanted to say. But if I keep thinking about it, ‘they’ always come and haunt me. Her throat hurt, as if those words became solid, waiting to spill from her mouth like stones.

The bastion looked at him straight to his face and said, “I do.”

If the answer was enough or dissatisfying, Omen did not say. He hummed and stood up to leave the medical bay. He stopped with a hand on the nob.

“Sage?”

“Yes?”

“…Thank you.”

He meant that. Sage did not need to clarify to be sure that he was truly grateful.

For the first time, those two words helped keep her shadows at bay.

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Chapter Text

Kingdom was ruthless to Radiants under their care. ‘Prisoners’ seemed more fitting. Radiants were only permitted to wear uniforms that had been made for them—anything else were forbidden except during curfew. Every Radiant have their meals scheduled and monitored on specifically based on their powers and discipline. Free time were divided by age group. Those barely out of toddlerhood to twelve years old have three schedule-free days while spending half a day for the remaining week training. Fifteen to twenty-four-year-olds have two free days and five scheduled days. Those twenty-five years and older only have one free day and no other time aside from curfew.

That was for Radiants who meet standard expectations. Outstanding Radiants were kept separated.

Thorne were among them.

If she had told the life in Kingdom were no different than old China, there would be no doubt Yeye will hire an army to free her, if age and time had not caught up to him. Kingdom let them contact their family once every two weeks. Sadly, but expectedly, they cannot conversate alone.

Staring with a stone face at the guard in front of her, Sage toughened her muscles from trembling as her father picked up her call.

“Hello there, my jade.”

“Hello, papa,” greeted Thorne with a smile.

“How are you? Have you eaten?”

Thorne talked to her father with the lightest voice she can muster. The guard would sometimes yawn or looked away in boredom and Sage felt a bit relaxed. Her father talked about situation at home. More people were visiting the temple. Last mooncake festival they had most visitors in the past decade. Her younger cousins missed her. A few of her older relatives have married or about to, and her family were expecting two new members. One in a few weeks. Thorne let her fantasy of a family reunion filled her head.

As the call time almost reached its end Sage asked her father, “Pa, can I talk to Ma now?”

The line went silent.

“Hello? Papa?”

“… Ah, what? Sorry, little jade, a cat knocked my phone to the floor.”

“No, it didn’t,” said Thorne flatly.

“Hmm?”

“I didn’t hear anything fell. Can I talk to Ma? I have two minutes left.”

She heard her father sigh. A defeated sigh. Her stomach turned a bit.

“My jade…” he began, hesitating. “About your mother…”

“What happened?”

“Oh, she’s fine, dear. It’s just… Your mother is—"

“Time’s up!” The guard stood up suddenly, snatched the phone of her hands and slammed it to port.

“Hey!” Thorne stood up in defense. “I still have time!”

“Doctor Ying wants to you in Room 5 now.”

Room 5? “Now? My free time has yet to be over.”

The guard seized her by the arm and dragged her out of the phone room. “I’m not here to babysit you filthy Radiants!” He released her in the hallway with a harsh push. Sage almost tripped on her own feet. “Now go there yourself!” He brushed his hands on his suit muttering “disgusting”.

Thorne imagined him being enclosed by a field of her slow orbs decorated by numbers of barriers which would grow wherever his foot goes. She muttered a swore in Mandarin under her breath then went to Room 5.

Room 5 was referred as ‘Deadly Stage’ by the adolescent Radiants. The room had only two entrances/exits. One for the scientists and the other for Radiants. No one has yet to find any other vent or hallway connecting Kingdom staff’s paths other than this room. The entire facility was designed to completely separate the superhumans and the nonpowered.

Powers or not, we are all human no matter what, Sage reminded herself. A reminder to not give her ego an excuse to kill them if given the chance (or will).

Thorne turned to the path leading to the entrance to Room 5. There was a series of tapping on a one-way window where fellow Radiants can observe along (those who want to, that is). Thorne gave a wave, but did not smile. She then entered the hall-room, slightly flinched at the white lights glaring at every inch of the room.

Sage announced to the black window placed high on the wall opposite of her spot, “Radiant Thorne here as ordered.”

“Good afternoon, Thorne.” A male voice replied through the speakers. “Forgive us for ending your free time so suddenly. We have an urgent test to run.”

After everything you have done, why would I forgive you, thought Thorne bitterly – holding back a glare. “May I ask what the test is about?”

“Revival,” he said. “without eliminating another living thing beforehand.”

A shiver went down her spine. Has she done this before? A cat for the bonsai tree, that … man for her mother, plants and small animals for her Radiant companions. Can revival without taking a life was even possible?

The head scientist read her thoughts. “You must be curious; so are we. Here is the body.” The floor-piston doors in the center of the room slide open, bringing up a table with a body carefully strapped on it.

Thorne gasped in shock. The dead person was Nurse Choo, the only nurse who treat Radiants with unfabricated kindness. Even the most aggressive Radiant respected her. To see her like this…

Rage and grief echoing within the Radiants’ observe area. Her own scream spoke up for them, “What did you do to her?!”

The scientists were nonchalant as – bloody – usual. “She volunteered, subject. If you can bring her back then all is well.”

Curse you! thought Thorne. Curse the whole lot of you! She wouldn’t dare to say her thoughts aloud. If she will not pay for her own mistakes, other Radiants might. She cannot let that happen!

The core of her Radiant power pulse hard within her. Thorne took bits of it at first. Then more and more until her vision was flooded with sparkling turquoise. With all her might, she poured her powers out on Nurse Choo’s body.

Seconds later, Nurse Choo burst from the crystals gasping for air.

Scientists celebrated behind their glass and cameras meanwhile Radiants were pounding on theirs to the point where it began to crack. They did not pound just out of anger. They pound because the Radiant healer had fallen to the floor, unmoving.

“A site!” Brimstone yelled through the comms. “Four at A site and planting! We need backup immediately!”

She remembered visiting Haven before Kingdom had taken it. Her relatives in Bhutan were so proud of the place. They swore the land was theirs alone. Then First Light happened and the head monk died, the promise was lost. Now, here she was with her team of a shadow organization (and their clones from another reality) wreaking havoc in the place. Even when the place was in ruins—devoid of life, Sage could not help but feel slightly blasphemous.

The ticking countdown of the spike snapped her back to the present. She and Reyna were guarding B site together, distracted by a Breach clone using its flashes repeatedly on them. Brimstone’s call for backup came as soon as the flashes stopped and the clone vanished.

“Let’s go there!” Reyna moved towards the path heading to A site.

All the sudden there was a clear loud BANG of an Operator and Reyna’s body hit the wall, limp as a ragdoll.

Sage looked away from her teammate’s body, tossing her slow orb to a wall and it bounced towards the entrance of B site. The sound of crunching steps confirming that a clone was approaching. Sage fired some warning shots at the corner, raised her barrier, and quickly revived Reyna.

For a split second, her entire being screamed at her to not use resurrection yet. However, it was too late—the shimmer in her hands were already ribboning around the Mexican vampire.

“Your duty is not over!” Sage declared as the crystals reveal Reyna alive and unhurt.

Reyna heaved in annoyance, “I don’t die so easily! Now where is that bastardo?!”

The Breach clone charge his concussive which both Sage and Reyna managed to jump out of range. Reyna took out her leer and the Breach clone stepped into her line of fire, shortsighted by her leer. She shot him in the head.

“Parasite,” she jeered, grabbing the soul orb (which only Reyna could see) and make her way to A site where the fighting intensifies.

Sage went to follow suit. Suddenly her world was shifting temperatures, the afternoon sun blinding her sight. Her legs wobble and Sage tumbled to her knees. She stayed like that for a moment.

What’s happening?  Her heart was pounding so hard – it hurt. The sun continued to shine on her as if it was planning to cook her. Was she wounded without noticing it? Sage checked her body only for a strong pressure forming inside her head and intense ringing in her ears. She clutched her head in pain, biting her lip to prevent her whine from being too loud.

“—ge!” Someone was calling her through the comms. “Sage, do you copy?”

Her head eased enough for her to speak normally, though her heart continue to pound harshly. “I’m here, captain.”

“We got rid of them, and Omen is defusing the spike. Raze is injured—you are needed here.”

Sage took a deep breath. “On my way,” she replied. The bastion carefully stood up amid new nausea hitting her like hail. She leaned on a wall for the first few steps and let go once she mustered against the pain.

When she arrived at A site, she was greeted with the corpse of Sova’s clone. One of the many, probably. Near it was a Cypher and a Jett. She spotted Reyna cursing to herself at the path towards A long where the fifth clone was likely at. Sage have adapted to the fact that her team’s imposters’ deaths were by her team’s own hand. A worrying feeling never failed to haunt her:

What if those clones were not clones? There was a high chance that the Protocol might kill each other by accident. If that happens, what should she—

“Sage, over here! Under the tower!” Raze’s energetic voice bounced the air.

Sage took a deep breath (which oddly cause her nasal to feel pricky) and walked to where the young Brazilian was waiting for her. Brimstone was also there, scolding her for not being careful with her Showstopper. Raze only looked at the Radianite crates, pouting. She lit up as Sage approached the two but suddenly her face paled.

“I’m here,” Sage said. “Alright, where does it hurt, Raze?” Sage scanned the Brazilian for injuries. Her eyes landed on her right wrist she was clutching close to her chest. The healer did not notice her and Brimstone’s worried faces. “Come on. Let me have a look at it.”

“Umm… Sage?”

“Even if it hurts a little, I need to make sure that it is,” Sage automatically said.

“Sage.”

“Raze, let me see—"

“Are you okay?” Raze asked loudly, reaching out her uninjured arm. “Sage, your nose is bleeding bad!”

What?

Her hand flew to her nose, feeling warm liquid dripping on it. She looked to her chest to find her white robe tainted with trails of flesh red colour.

Oh.

She was too busy digesting her situation as Brimstone guided her to sit on the floor under the shade of the tower. She looked down to her clothes again to see most of her upper body now covered in blood. What is happening?

Brimstone took out a piece of white cloth from his aid kit and gave it to Sage, cupping the blood dripping from her chin before pressing her nostrils close. Sage winced.

“Reyna, get in here!” yelled the old soldier before turning back to Sage. “Can you keep pressing this?”

I am a healer, of course I can and I know how. She mentally kicked herself for almost saying it like a child. Somehow, she wasn’t pressing strong enough. She felt blood continue to flow and drenching her clothes. Raze noticed and replaced her with her good hand.

“Raze,” Sage croaked. “What happened to—” She was cut off by weak coughs.

Raze assured her, “Don’t worry about me, amiga. It’s not that bad. Just take it easy. Your eyes are red, too.”

The healer’s mind frantically tried to connect the dots with events in her past. Of all memories that came up was the last time she remembered being in Kingdom’s Radiant ‘school’.

Oh… I remember now, Sage thought, dumbfounded, I brought a nurse back to life without killing anything before that.

Sage was starting to lose touch to her senses. Her vision became blurry and darkened. She felt Raze’s hands holding her shoulders as the Brazilian called out to someone (to Sage, most likely—she wasn’t sure). Then a bile crawled up to her throat with a speed and sensation like an aggressive spider. Sage pushed Raze aside with all her energy and vomited. Reeks of digested food mixed with blood filled the air. There was so much red in the vomit.

Time slowed as her eyes fixated on it. How could I forget? I cannot bring life without taking a life beforehand. Heal. I need to heal fast. I am a healer, not the defiler of death—

Her thoughts froze, feeling a familiar chill looming around her. A figure approached her which she first thought was Brimstone or Omen. It was neither, but the Breach whom Reyna had killed. It—he—stared at her unblinking. Body upright, ghostly white, arms lifeless on his sides. Behind him stood more. His dead teammates. All were staring at her, their eyes growing whiter and bigger.

One figure approached her and just from the silhouette, Sage recognized him straight away: the thug who killed her mother.

‘That day’ and her first night at Kingdom facility came crushing back. Sage felt as though she had turned into her younger self again. She did not notice the frantic young Brazilian cradling her, or the Radiant vampire telling the latter to calm down, or her leader calling for urgent transport back to base.

The thug came closer holding the machete he used that night. Her limbs began to shake violently. Of all things she noticed when the thug swung the blade was Omen looking at where the thug and the other ghosts stood.

She struck the machete on his body as much as her thing arms can. Monster, monster, monster!

She was so young back then, even in traditional standards. Military knowledge was meaningless to a young girl who grew up in a protected monastery surrounded by family and devotion to their religion. Killing was a sin. A heavy sin. But he attacked them first, so she was faultless. Her mother was faultless.

She did not mean to kill him. She learned that losing large amount of blood was enough to put someone unconscious – that was her intension.

With blood soaking her hands and clothes, she sobbed on her mother’s chest begging for her to wake up. Sirens approached somewhere from afar. She wanted to stand up and yell for help. Her body refused to move away from her mother.

Come back, ma! Come back to me!

Just like that, soft green light filled the area as her mother was engulfed in a crystal cocoon. Her mother was back, alive and unharmed. Sage crashed into her arms and continue to wept. A miracle! Thank you, God of heaven and earth!

She looked up to see her mother’s face only to see the thug’s. She was too shocked to jump away when he swung the bloodied machete down to her head.

Her own sharp intake of breath startled her as the sound of the swinging blade echoed in her mind. There was something on her face bringing in dry, strangely clean air into her mouth and nose. A thin steel pole clanged to her right and a sharp prick waved from her forehand.

A woman with short black hair rushed to her side, her face bare from her usual gas mask. “Hey—easy, easy!” Viper was not one to show care yet here she was, voice soothe and reassuring. “You’re safe, Sage. We’re in our medical bay right now in base. You’re safe.”

Sage slowly digested the chemist’s words as she glanced around. They were indeed in the medical bay, and Sage was on bed wearing a hospital gown, an IV drip inserted in her hand and a ventilator on her face. After a good minute of deep breaths, Sage sunk back to the pillow.

After a moment, Viper took off the ventilator from Sage and gave her a cup of water. The latter’s throat pricked as she drank.

“How long … since Haven?” she asked Viper, barely above a whisper.

“Two days,” told the chemist. “You had a seizure. Brimstone told me you had a bad nosebleed and vomited blood before that.”

A blurred memory resurfaced, and all Sage could say was “Oh.”

“Do you remember what caused it?”

“Yes.” Sage could not meet Viper’s gaze.

“And it was…?” Viper waited for an answer. The chemist’s bedside manner was not a sight to behold so Sage admitted it.

“My resurrection.”

Viper perked up, “Oh?”

“… If I resurrect someone without killing anything before that—plant, animal or human—this will happen.”

“I get that this isn’t the first time, right?”

“Yes.”

“When was the first time?”

The image of Nurse Choo’s blue face flashed in mind. Sage swallowed a bile. “At Kingdom’s base in China.”

To Sage’s delight, the answer was enough to Viper. The American woman then went about what Sage should do even when she knew the healer knew what to do anyway. The rest of the Protocol visited her for the remaining of the day. Raze hugged her so tight, Brimstone had to pry her off. The young bomber had a sprain wrist at Haven. Sage almost used her healing on her if were not for Reyna stopping her.

“Rest your powers, corazon. You deserve most break than any of us after everything you’ve done. And thank you for bringing me back.” Reyna placed a hand over her glowing chest.

The rare words from Reyna made Sage feel a lot better emotionally. The former looked fine as far as Sage can see. She will give her a better checkup – once she herself gets better.

Night came and Viper was cleaning up the med bay while Raze and Sage were done chattering.

“Are you sure you want to sleep here, Sage? Alone?” asked the Brazilian.

“I have spent many nights in here more than in my own room. I will be alright.”

“Eh… You sure you don’t want company? I think Jett would love a sleepover night.”

Viper interjected from the file shelves, “Not in the med bay you don’t!”

Raze blew her tongue at the chemist’s direction.

Sage sighed. “I’m alright, Izzy. You rest that hand, and your legs. I saw you limp.”

Raze scoffed cheekily, “My legs? Pfft! It’s just the cold weather getting under my skin. Some fluffy socks and a blanket and all are well.”

Viper stomped her way towards Raze. She pointed at the door, “Out. The last thing I want to find tomorrow is your music blaring the speakers.”

“Fine,” Raze pouted but stood up anyway. “Maldosa…” she mumbled.

“What was that?!” snapped Viper.

“Nothing!” Raze bolted through the doors and her voice echoed the hallway. “GOODNIGHT, SAGE!!”

Both Sage and Viper sighed at the Brazilian’s antic. Viper turned back to Sage, “I’m going to do some studies in my lab tonight. If you need anything, just call me.” She handed Sage a comm piece and left her alone in the med bay.

In a drowsy state, Sage wondered if what she saw back at Haven were true. Omen was glancing at where the ghosts were. If only it was easier to tell if it were not for his bizarre face. Maybe it was a coincidence. If he could, Reyna should have noticed, too. Think about it tomorrow, please, begged her inner self. Sage pulled the blanket to her chest, adjusting her position so she would not entangle the IV string in her sleep, then let her eyelids droop down.

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“Defiler.”

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“False angel of life.”

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“Foolish. To think you can escape from us…”

Her senses came to abruptly as if no more than a second after closing her eyes. An eerie chill filled the room; fear crawling up her spine. Ignore it. Ignore it, Sage thought.

“Foolish. We know you can hear us.”

“Look at us, defiler.”

“Look at us since you dare use our life—”

“—to bring another life back—"

“—when it should not be.”

Go away. Leave me alone. Their next words turned her blood cold.

“You are alone, defiler.”

Sage felt young and weak once again. She should have let Raze do as she pleased, just this once. She was a grown woman. Invisible beings should not frighten her. It shouldn’t!

A ghastly hand grasped her shoulder and dug its nails to her skin. It felt too real to be mere air. Sage held her breath, trying her best to not cry over an invisible being that scared her as if as much as death itself. She hoped Viper would come in to get some files for her study, or Cypher taking a quick walk out of his workshop, or even a caffeine-induced Killjoy. Then Sage remembered one agent who never sleeps. Damn, if only she had placed the comm on the other bedside table. The ghost was between her and the piece.

Out of the blue, came a deep gruff voice from the entrance.

“Leave her.” Omen’s powers gave a dark vibe like an approaching thunderstorm. He took a few slow steps into the med bay and kept talking. “If your intension here is to bring harm, leave this place. If you wish to hurt only her, leave this place. She wants nothing from you and neither do we.”

Cold silence fell through. After an eternity of a second, the grasp on her shoulder disappeared and the air became lighter. Sage sat up scanning the room for anything unusual. Fortunately, there was only her and Omen.

She let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you, Omen.”

“How long has that thing linger around you?” he asked.

Sage stared at him for a moment. “You… You can see him?”

He nodded. “He is always near you yet he hardly does anything until now. Care to explain?”

“Maybe not at this moment.”

Omen hummed. Silence fell through for a moment before he asked again. “You still haven’t answered my first question.”

Sage took a deep breath. The thug had been there since ‘that night’. A vengeful spirit—first of the many she had caused. Why did he make appearance only when she thought about her resurrection ability?

“Sage?”

She breathed deeply again and replied, “He’s probably there since… Since I revived a person for the first time.” She cut off an image of her mother, steeled her emotions and look straight at Omen. “You asked me where does the life I gave come from. It’s from another living thing. That is how I bring people back to life.”

Omen stared back at her, the shadows of his body seeping out of his hood and the gaps in the bandages of his arms. Sage waited for a reaction, but Omen only turned back to the entrance doors.

“Get some rest. I will speak to you tomorrow at the Range after lunch.”

Just like that, Omen left and Sage went back to sleep without realizing it.

Viper was the first to notice Sage’s off manners. Well, the chemist was some sort of doctor before. Sage only waved her worries off and plastered her hand now free from the IV needle.

The rest of the daytime went by and Sage went through her usual routine – except for the ones that require strength. It was a bit strange to be the ill one in the Protocol. Now everyone was looking after her, it made her feel vulnerable.

After a good lunch with Jett’s japchae, Sage went to the Range and found Omen staring at Raze’s progressing mural outside of the shooting range. He looked at her over his shoulder and said, “I can help you.”

Sage blinked. “I’m sorry?”

Omen turned fully towards her. “I can help you be free from your shadow. Afterwards, you can think freely about your powers and those things will disturb you no longer.”

The high-altitude air kissed her exposed skin cold. Sage searched Omen for a lie, unsure if it was possible.

He was being honest.

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Chapter Text

To dream was rare and when he does dream, they were filled with reminders of death. The inevitable clung to him until its a part of him. Many times his dreams ended with him being finally consumed by the shadows. Those were among the many reasons he'd rather not sleep.

The Rift constantly claw his entirety to join them and be a person no longer. The claws were painful and he had gotten used to it, though it did not mean he was prepared if he were to be lost in the Rift for good. It almost happened more than he can count. Then Sage saved him from that just as much.

Truth be told, Omen never thought she would succeed to bring him to actual sleep. There were things he could do at night free from disturbances from other agents (especially the youngest four). However, since the Protocol was under lockdown, he was beginning to feel as bored as everyone else. So a nice sleep would fill up the boredom, and he felt really good.

On his thirtieth night of sleep, he dreamt of cats and kittens. He was -- what he believed was -- on the port of Japan's cat island. They were swarming him like a tsunami with the strange lack of clawing and shedding fur. Like a cat lover he was, Omen was threw handful after handful of cat treats. Then two cats approached him, promptly causing the other mass of cats to give them a circular space for him to see them clearly. They were not just any two cats. They were his and Sage's.

Omen knelt to give them the treats by hand. They did not sniff or inspect the treats. Sage's cat blinked slowly before turning walking towards the village. His cat nip of his finger and followed suit. Omen's eyes trailed them until they stopped at the middle of a small street to look at him. He realised they wanted him to follow them. When he looked around, all the cats have vanished and the port dissolved into a sudden night. An unfitting kind of night.

Omen tailed behind the cats through the village. They only walked in a straight line which was odd for a small village by a jagged port. As time pass, he noticed how the houses and streets were dissolving into the night as the night was water. They walked and walked until it was them and the street left. If only there was a clock in dreams. He would like to know how long has passed in it compared to real time.

At one point the cats broke into a run. Omen thought of running after them but they stopped at the end of street, clawing and mewling at an invisible wall. Once he was a foot distance from them, the night revealed the invisible wall to be a door. The door to Sage's quarters.

Why here? thought Omen.

His hand moved and turned the nob on its own, opening the door ajar, the hinges whine. Sage's cat rushed inside meanwhile Omen's own cat clawed his boot. Her eyes were expressing as if to tell him not to go in there. Then Sage's cat made a painful meow - a meow usually heard from a mother cat searching for her lost kittens. Sage's cat was male. Why was he meowing like that?

Curiosity got the better of him so Omen went inside.

Her room should be filled with pots of herb and flowers all healthy. But here he saw them wilted and dying, hanging off from the edge of the pots like ribbons. Her medical books were scattered everywhere on the floor. Her study was decorated with thick black ink, crumpled papers and a broken tablet. The balcony glass were shattered and behind it, a silhouette floated.

Sage's cat meowed from behind the glass, and Omen went to the balcony.

Another thing was when Omen was about to sleep, he wanted to make sure that his sleep will be dreamless. Back flat on his bed, his cat snuggling his arm, his room in total darkness or tinted with moonlight exactly at 11 p.m.. Death reminders were already in his thoughts daily. He just wanted sleep to put that to a halt even just for a moment.

But they kept coming, stronger than before. Instead of visions of his own demise, Omen saw a scene that would haunt him probably for the rest of his life.

(!!) The floating silhouette was Sage ... but she was not floating. A rope seemed to be made of her own hair hung tense from behind her. Turquoise crystals drip from her fingers and puddled the floor in a similar manner to her slow orb. Her eyes no longer giving life. She was as dead as the plants in her room.

"If she dies, no one can bring her back."  Echoed the reminder.

A horrid sound escaped from Omen. He reached out to bring her down but he was taken back to reality, instead. Bolting upwards screaming on his bed and scared the life out of his cat.

Whatever that dream was, he was glad it was just a dream.

It was just a dream...

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Chapter Text

Sage never thought of the day she could do something about the creatures of her nightmares. Once she accepted that the ghosts were tied to her powers, she could only keep it to herself and resist. But to be able to make them leave? It sounded too good a dream.

The day after Omen told her he can help, they meet again at the second Range island where spike-initiating training were held. It was Monday and—miraculously—no missions. The remaining members of the Protocol were doing their own things in their private quarters or on the mainland; leaving the Range deserted, save for two people.

Sage tried not to overthink of Omen’s method to help her overcome her shadows. He helped Viper fulfill her thirst for revenge and enjoyed unleashing his bloodlust with Reyna. He hardly showed his soft side, but it’s there. Sage knew it was there.

“I will use my paranoia on you,” Omen told her. “It will be different than when I use it in battlefields. Instead of only causing us to be nearsighted, it will go deep into one’s emotions.”

“How do you know about that?” Sage couldn’t help but ask.

“Sabine often asks me to do it to her.”

“What? Why?”

Omen said nothing.

Viper’s psychological state was unstable. Her shaking hands, referring her own name as though it belonged to another person, and she wanted Omen’s paranoia often?

I will have word with her later, thought Sage bitterly. The chemist was acting irate as of late but the cause of it was Sova, not the Duelist trio (very surprisingly). And Sage will have to keep an eye on the Russian hunter as well. He was not acting like himself either...

The bastion focused back on her current task. “How would that help me, Omen?”

“It would help you resist their presence—their will.” A pregnant pause. “Do you want to know how many souls are wondering on this island?”

Do I? If it’s for my own good then— “Yes, I want to know.”

The phantom stared at her for a second before lifting up three fingers. A small shiver went down her spine, then Omen spoke again.

“The three souls are not attached to you. They are attached to this island. One came here for solstice and died drowning. Two others died here during the island’s rising. They had no one else who misses them, so they won’t move on.”

Whoever they are, Sage prayed in heart. I hope they find peace. Then she asked him. “How many are attached to me?”

He stared at her for a long moment. Sage guessed he would say dozens or even a hundred. So many lives she took just to bring other lives back.

When she should not.

When she had no right to.

She was playing god.

Messing with the natural order.

False angel.

Blasphemous—

“Stop.”

Sage snapped from her thoughts feeling Omen griping her arm hard, his bizarre face mere inches near hers.

“Stop thinking like that.”

‘Think like what?” she asked back dumbly. There was no point of hiding it from him.

“Calling yourself what they call you.” Omen said firmly. “Your thoughts are like a signal. You repeat their words, and they come haunt you.”

I know that, I know that! Sage wore a face to tell him she knew. She did not want the wrong words to spill out. The titles her ghosts gave her refuse to unstick. Even when she almost became ignorant of it, the memory of where the calls began struck back like lightning.

Omen released her and slowly walk back to the teleporter. “Let us do this in the shooting range. I smell rain water.”

Sage sniffed the air and scanned the skies. Dark clouds formed on the horizon and strong wind was blowing to their direction. She followed Omen through the teleporter. Once they were in the shooting range, she immediately said to him, “You haven’t answered my question.”

“Hmm.”

“How many souls are attached to me?”

He did not turn to look at her.

“Omen.” She called him out, standing near him with firm. “I want to know.”

A moment passed before he answered, “Too many to count.”

Her heart hammered. Why am I surprised?

“Oh.”

He turned to her as he continued. “The souls around Reyna are forced to attach to her because her heart is depending on them. Those around you, however, attach themselves because they want to.”

The bastion could feel a strange chill blowing on her ear (and it was not the weather).

Omen noticed her reaction, but he said nothing about it as he pulled his paranoia from his arm. “It’s best to do this when you least expect it.”

“If not?”

“Everyone reacts differently to this. The more you expect things, the harsher it will do to you.” He stood close to her with his hand coated with Paranoia hovering inches from her face.

Sage did not need to ask what that meant. She took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. “I’m ready.”

His Paranoia surged into her mind.

She was young again; at the age when she learned wushu for the first time. She used to be excited about it. Then she watched a live tournament where a participant got badly injured until he could not breathe. What if one day she hurt somebody when she did not mean to?

Her shifu was a village uncle she did not like. He always wore an angry face. His voice was like a tiger. Her cousins said they saw him destroying a wooden dummy in a fit of rage. Other kids said he once snapped a rabbit’s neck for eating his crops.

Terrified, she snuck back home. Her grandmother found her first and she was not happy.

“Your parents send you to learn how to protect yourself. Why did you leave? Come! I will take you back.”

“But, Nai nai, I’m scared!”

“There is nothing to be scared about.”

“That shifu is scary!”

“Chong-shifu doesn’t hurt anyone, girl. Don’t listen to the nonsense your cousins say. If so, how does his family love him in the first place? Come!”

She trusted her grandmother. She can be scary but she will made up with her crowning handmade tofu. The little girl stopped protesting and let the elder drag her back to school.

They never arrived there. All the sudden, her grandmother disappeared.

“Nai nai?” It took a second for the little girl to realise that the old woman had vanished. She still felt her hand still holding on. She turned to look at it—

—and found herself carrying a bloody machete instead.

Sage screamed. The blade clattered to the dark floor. She suddenly became older now. At the age when she… When her mother…

She turned her heel and ran into a dark alleyway.

“Ma!” Where is she? Is she alive? “Ma, where are you?!”

Sage turned left, then turn right, then she went back and run through the paths over again. She knew she was running in circles, but she will not stop. Her Ma was in danger!

After an eternity of turns, she finally found a dead end. In there was her mother.

And the thug.

The brute man towered over her mother with the bloody machete in hand. A flash occurred, and her mother was lying in a pool of her own blood.

Dead.

The thug stood over her body with a satisfied face.

Alive.

“MA!!”

A flash! Sage struck the man in his neck.

A flash! She disarmed him and kick him with a force that sent him tumbling to the ground.

A flash! The edge of her eye caught familiar seething of a throwing knife.

A flash! She picked up the machete and threw it at him—

I didn’t mean to! I never meant to kill you!

The blade rooted itself in his skull, but his body convulsed nonstop.

Sage gasped in realization with a thousand thoughts screaming at her.

I never did that. I never threw the machete!

I killed him—I killed him—!

This is wrong—Everything is all wrong!!

I’m a killer!

Mother is dead! I was too late!

She did die, but she still lives. A new voice came in. It was hers but … strange somewhat. Revive her, Jiang Ling. Revive her.

She went to her and lush her power. Her mother’s body rose and crystals engulfed her. When they broke, it was not her mother who came out. It was the thug.

“Defiler…” The fatal injury she gave him did not vanish. Blood continued to flow out of the gash in his head. His skin rot at each step he took towards her. “What have you done?”

Sage froze in her spot. What have I done?

“You started this…” croaked the rotting man. “You caused this… Always your fault… Always…! Never you forget!”

He lunged at her.

A crack of thunder and lightning welcomed her back to reality.

She was back at the shooting range—no, she never left. Omen’s paranoia had worn off.

Said wraith’s bizarre face was again inches from hers. Although this time, she was pinning him against a wall with an elbow on his neck and fist raised ready to deliver a blow. Her senses slowly return, and Sage quickly pulled herself off her teammate.

Omen made a raspy cough as he rubbed his neck.

“Omen!” she gasped. “I’m sorry! I didn’t—”

“You didn’t mean it.” He cut her off before coughing again. “Sabine reacted similarly on her first time.”

“Here. Let me—" Her healing began glowing from the palm of her hands, but Omen detested with a growl.

“I’m fine. You need not use your healing on small matters, Sage.”

Though his words were true and made her put her healing away, it angered her.

“What makes you think this method would help me?”

“It helps Sabine.”

“Nonsense! Her approach is—is—pure nonsense! She should have come to me or a professional psychologist. Not on something that can break her!”

“Try telling her that,” Omen snapped. “Sabine listens to no one. Even if she does, it’s occasional. You know that.”

Sage scoffed. These two were getting out of control, worse than the Duelist trio. She put her hands on her hips and asked again with much firm. “Answer me, Omen. What makes you think Paranoia would help me?”

He stared back the same stare he gave her when they first met. His answer lit a bonfire within her.

“I don’t.”

Now the cold of the storm was but a breeze to the bastion. Every fiber of her body wanted to yell at him. However, Sage could only stare back in incredulity. She opened her mouth to say something when Brimstone’s voice blared their comm pieces.

“Omen, Sage, where the hell are you two? It’s a thunderstorm – get back indoors now!”

Flashes of lightning alerted them both. They made haste towards the teleporter back to the main teleportation room.

Once they got through, Omen spoke up. “If you disagree with my approach to end your hauntings, Sage, do you have other ideas?”

At first her mind bragged, Yes I do! She silenced it; remembering how her past methods hardly worked. Meeting a faith healer, nothing. Wearing a bead charm, nothing. Biweekly prayers at a temple, nothing. Her religious activities kept her spirituality and morals straight, but the ghosts always came back. Always. All because of her Revival.

The stretch of silence was enough for Omen to know the answer.

“I am in the right, Sage. For now…” he growled. “We will proceed every three days. I will not hear any excuses.” He brushed passed her and went on his way.

Sage stood frozen in front of the teleporter staring at him as he left. A thousand thoughts swirled in mind, yet Sage could not make out any of them. She cannot reject his aid. If it does work, her life would get better.

Right?

“Uh… Sage?”

She turned to the direction of the voice and found Cypher by the control panel of the teleporter.

“Everything good?”

Knowing Cypher’s profession, Sage found no needs to answer him directly. Even his tone suggested he had been watching them in secret via his hidden cameras in the Range.

“I’m sure you already know.” Sage replied sharply before stomping her way out of the room.

Cypher pondered alone for a minute. “Oh dear, she figured out that I’ve been watching. Too bad the rain covered up their voices.” He put a hand under his chin as he examined the recordings on a tablet. “I wonder what you two were on about…”

The weather went on for hours. Eventually, the indoor part of the base started to feel as cold as autumn. Brimstone made a batch of mushroom soup for everyone to warm up. It was the best mushroom soup Sage has ever tasted. Agents crowded the kitchen for it. All agents but one.

“Where’s Sova?” Phoenix asked aloud.

Killjoy shrugged. Jett answered with a full mouth, “Last I saw him was last night.”

Reyna butted in, “It’s afternoon already.”

“Well, yeah—” Jett swallowed her food. “I’m saying he’s been avoiding us a lot these days. Don’t you guys notice?”

A “nope” from Phoenix, Breach, and Killjoy.

Brimstone spoke up this time. “He’s always been kind of a loner. Sometimes he just needed some alone time.”

“Do you finally manage to disturb him, Breach?” Omen—who appeared out of nowhere between Breach and Viper—asked.

Surprised, Breach almost spat the soup at Phoenix’s face. “What the hell! Omen!”

“Well?”

“No, I haven’t!” exclaimed Breach, seemingly ready to punch the phantom. “That pretty boy is like an iceberg. Hardly melts. I’m still waiting for him to punch me.”

Killjoy rose a brow. “Why do you still want him to punch you?”

“Just because.”

“… Okay then.”

Sage rolled her eyes. Valorant Protocol’s only two Initiators have yet to be friendly with one another. She thought of Skye was to be the third Initiator, but the Aussie was currently caught up with problems at her homeland. Another healer would be a great help, thought Sage. However, unlike most members of the Protocol, Skye never left Australia before. Sage prayed that she will be able to handle her new world smoothly once she becomes an official Valorant agent.

“Raze, freundin, you’re being quiet. Say something, would you?”

Now that Killjoy mentioned, Raze was being strangely quiet. It was unlike of her.

Raze perked up from her seat. “Quiet? Me? Pfft! You’re just imagining things, mija.” She immediately got quiet again.

“Raze…” Reyna began. “Something is bothering you.”

“Huh?”

“Is this about Sova?”

Breach piped up, “If he ever does that to you again, he will have to go through me!”

At that, Raze put her arms up to reassure him. “What—No, no, no, Breachy! I wasn’t thinking what he did to me. Besides, I’m forgiving him about what he did.”

Everyone was taken aback, Jett especially.

“Why?” asked the Korean. “You were just being you and he yelled at you for no reason.”

Raze sighed, “I know, Jett. It’s just… I’m thinking me and him are on the same boat right now.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.”

“In what way?” Phoenix butted in.

The Brazilian bomber’s reply got the lounge quiet. “Homesick. He was homesick.”

Brimstone wondered, “What makes you think that?”

“Ah… I get overexcited easily when I get homesick. Back at home, I used to jump steep road after steep road. I tried to pretend that I am by—you know—being louder than usual. That’s my way of filling my homesickness. It’s also my fault for making Sova snap. I noticed he was feeling down but I still bothered him.”

Guilt washed on the bomber’s eyes, pulling out pity from her teammates around her.

“Oh, Raze…” Killjoy pat her friend in the back.

“I want to cheer him up. But not now! I have no idea how to cheer up a moody Sova. Do you guys know?”

Everyone looked at each other in discomfort. Viper merely sipped on her coffee staring into the oblivion.

Cypher entered the lounge that moment. “If you folks are looking for Sova, he is in the greenhouse garden. He already ate, Brimstone. I just gave him my Pita bread.”

Phoenix perked up Cypher’s appearance. “Hey, Cy! Do your cameras pick up what Sova likes to do?”

“Of course!” said Cypher happily. “Aside from that, I also know what made him extra moody.”

“What is it? Tell us!”

“An invasion of privacy.” The Moroccan said proudly as he rolled a coin on his gloved fingers. “I clarify that it happened on the physical world. Not through matrix. And for the first, I am not the culprit.”

Sage caught him staring at someone among them in the lounge. She followed his eyes that landed on Viper. Brimstone and Omen were looking at her, too. The healer held the urge to role her eyes. She will have a lot to talk about with Viper.

(Omen as well, even though he was right.)

But first: Sova.

She went for the greenhouse garden and found him sitting still on a bench that was supposed to face a beautiful sunset. Black clouds, rainwater and lightning were the only view now.

“Sova?”

“Hm? Oh… Hello, Sage. I didn’t see you coming.”

“Are you feeling alright? You should come inside. It’s getting cold.”

“I’m fine. I just… I need the cold for a now.”

She sensed the longing behind his gaze. She knew that look. He’s missing his home. Perhaps the chill of a thunderstorm was nowhere as cold as the snow in the tundra to the Russian, but if it was comforting him, she should leave him be.

Sage made sure to let him know she’s going inside. His response sent a glacier to her skin. “Hello, Sage. Do you need anything?”

What? “Sova … we just talked.”

He looked back at her in confusion. Realization washed him a second later and he quickly flustered out saying, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me lately.”

Forgetfulness. Fainting spells. Cramps. Headaches. Abrupt reactions. He has been going through these for weeks. If Jett and Phoenix were not there to witness, the incident where the hunter yelling at Raze was near unbelievable. Sova did not get along with Breach but the former never lost his temper. Nor does he lash out to anybody (up until two days ago with Raze, who was keeping her distance from him since).

“Sova,” She put a hand on his shoulder, gaining his attention again. For a second, she was sure she noticed his hands trembling. “Tell me everything tomorrow during checkup. No hiding things, okay?”

He nodded in acknowledgement. “I will.”

Sage went down the hallway to the infirmary first. She grabbed some books and files on medical conditions and went the rest of day delving through them.

“A true doctor should not value on gains and successions,” her village doctor told her when she was his assistant. She missed him a lot. “A doctor should do the job simply because it is the right thing to do. The best payment is when the patient is healthy once again.”

Whatever was ailing Sova, she will know about it and she heal it even if her own problems have yet to solved by then.

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Chapter Text

Sage remembered every condition each member of the Protocol has. She need not to read down their medical files thrice for it.

Breach was born without arms; thus, he will get massive headaches if the sensors of his prosthesis got buggy.

Brimstone’s body was acting like any aging person would: weakening knees, drowsiness, and short memory loss. Luckily the old soldier only complained about his knees. He was the healthiest person in the team.

Killjoy has an addiction to caffeine. Sage wished she remembered to lessen her intake before she has uncontrolled sleep impairment.

Cypher has hundreds of things he hid from the Protocol. His face, the scars, the psychology trauma. Sage was well informed of the three – the rest was only his to tell when needed.

Raze has tinnitus as a result from an incident when she very young. Sage never minded that the young Brazilian listen to music with headphones all the time. It was the volume that was worrisome.

Jett often get cramps from her Tailwind. Once, the cramp was so painful, the poor wind Radiant was in tears. To her comfort, Sage was the only one who witnessed it.

Phoenix was—as he told Sage many times—always as ‘fit as a fiddle’. He was so used to his body feeling literally hot, he can no longer tell the difference between normal body temperature, him in his ultimate, or when he has a fever.

Reyna has no heartbeat yet her blood flows normally in her veins. Sage did not bother to find an explanation for that.

Why? It’s because of Omen.

If Sage put a stethoscope on his abdomen, she could hear and feel his heart beating. But did she find the physical existence of it? No. His body was a gathering of shadows. Without his specialized armor, boots and gloves, Sage doubt he would be able to touch physical things. She always wanted to know more. In case if anything horrible happens, how can she help him then? Speaking of which, the only person who knew Omen most was keeping the information to herself.

Now Viper was on top of Sage’s secret list of ‘urgent treatment’. Her physical condition that allowed her to be immune to poison was one thing, her mental state was another. The moment the healer first overheard Viper talking about her clone, she knew the older woman has a personality disorder. Sadly, Sage could not determine if her disorder were minor or severe. She would not call herself an expert on psychology. However, their higher-ups cannot afford them a professional psychologist either.

(Just like how they could not hire a real doctor when they can give them the best medical supplies there was.)

Sage felt disappointed in herself when she could not determine Sova’s condition. As she promised him, she made a full checkup on him privately. He felt many odd things with his body and, after a while, they were gone. She was trying to link his symptoms to any illnesses related to it while Sova was solving some mathematic problems as she requested.

Then he got impatient.

“Are we done?” Sova asked in a snappish tone. Sage was slightly surprised.

“Have you finished that?”

He huffed, “Almost.”

“You just have to finish it and then we’re done.”

“I don’t see the point of solving these.”

He was beginning to test her patience, as well. Sage kept her composure. Sick people have smaller patience than healthy people. “It’s a test, Sova, to determine illnesses—”

“What illness?” Sova said sharply.

“Whatever the kind that you have right now.” Sage answered swiftly with stern. “Sova, I’m trying to help you. You fainted from it not too long ago. What if it happens again? What if it happens worse?”

Sova breathed heavily though his nostrils, shoulders tense. “I told you. I felt them, I endured them, and they were gone. I’m fine, Sage. I’m probably only stressed out.”

Sage looked at Sova straight in the eye. They clash glances for a minute before Sage spoke up slowly with a tone Sova cannot fight back.

“Sova. Be honest. When does this start?”

The Russian’s shoulders slump in defeat as he answered her. “I think two weeks ago. Around after the paintball fight.”

“How often do you feel your heart pounding?”

“Almost every day.”

“How often does your back ache?”

“A few times but it lasted a while.”

“How bad are the tremors on your hands?”

 “I don’t feel them anymo—”

“How bad, Sova?” she cut him off.

He sighed further in defeat. “Bad enough. I have trouble writing, even typing. I can’t use my bow or a gun properly.”

“Can you walk properly?”

“Yes.”

Sage leaned back to her leather chair, slightly satisfied. She told him to complete the math questions which he did within a few minutes. The moment he handed her the papers, he stood up and dashed for the exit doors. “I have to go,” he muttered.

“Sova, wait! You can’t leave yet.” Sage quickly stood to stop him. “Hold on a minute. I still need to check this—”

“If you want to help me—” Sova spun to face her, voice high, towering over her like his clone who one time almost stabbed her from behind. “—don’t give me questions meant for children! I’m not an idiot!”

Sage jumped a bit, blinking in shock. “Sova, I never said you are.”

“I don’t understand the point! Even a twelve-year-old can solve harder questions!”

“It’s only a test. It helps doctors determine exactly which illness would cause things. I know I’m not a real doctor but—"

“THEN STOP PRETENDING TO BE ONE!!”

He was loud. Loud enough that it bounced throughout the infirmary. Sage’s feet took a few steps back on their own. Something shattered in her chest. The disinfectant smell of the med bay became suffocating all the sudden.

Sova’s face was filled with fury. He blinked once, and his brows relaxed. He blinked twice, and the angry expression was gone. Regret washed over him.

“Sage…” he said in hushed tone. “Sage, I’m sorry. I—I…”

“Go.” She said, mustering a steady composure. “You have to go, right? You know where to find me.”

“Sage…”

Sova reached out a hand to her but she turned away, walking back to her desk. Shortly, she heard the doors swing and clicked. She looked back and Sova was gone.

Her body slumped heavily on the chair, one hand over her heart, another holding the question papers (crumpling them a little bit). He was sick, he was sick. She reminded herself in mind. It’s a sign of his illness. Nothing more. He didn’t mean it.

She can say that a thousand times, but it failed to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. She wiped them away as she read Sova’s answers.

A sixty percent. His answers on earlier questions were correct but as the questions require a more complicated calculation, the numbers were misplaced, and the answers were wrong. Some numbers were even written mirrored.

Oh, Sova, what is happening with you? I will find out your illness. I will help you.

If only she knew what the future has in store for them.

His disturbances could be a result of a psychological factor, but I can’t be too sure. Psychological illnesses don’t cause sudden loss of consciousness to the point of feverish. There are too many physical signs that are much more obvious than those caused by stress. Was it because of an old trauma? Maybe it was neuro-related problem. Genetics might play a factor, too, and considering he grew up in the tundra… If only I know how to operate a lumbar puncture, I could be helping him already.

“Sage?”

What’s the use of my healing if I don’t figure out a teammate’s new condition? People die to natural causes every day. Physical healing cannot help everything. Why did I obey Ah Ma going to the soldier camp? Papa was right – studying medicine should be my priority. Even if I master guns later, being an official medical doctor is much better. I’m sorry, Papa.

“Earth to Sage.”

Someone snapped their fingers in front of her face.

Sage pulled herself out of trance and found Viper beside her lowering her gloved hand. “Yes, Viper?”

The chemist at the front of the room, “Brimstone is talking to you.”

Realization hit her. She and Viper were giving Brimstone a brief report about the monthly checkup. The old leader was staring at her from his desk with a hint of worry.

“For—Forgive me, Brimstone,” she stuttered. “I was lost in thought.”

He stared at her for a moment before sighing. “Sova did it again, did he?”

Sage schooled her face. She could lie but this was her leader. It would be a disgrace. “Yes, he did.”

Brimstone sighed heavily as he swiped his greying hair. “What’s going on with him…” he mumbled.

“I believe he is ill.” Sage said.

That piqued Brimstone’s interest. “With what?”

“I don’t know. I’m still trying to determine what it is. He wasn’t being helpful.”

“That’s unlike of him.”

“Exactly.”

Brimstone sighed further as he leaned back to his chair. Sage took the moment of silence as an opportunity to question him. “Captain, does Sova ever tell you anything about his family’s history?”

“I’m afraid he didn’t. He only told me he is a hunter slash mercenary from a small village in Russia and his grandmother is his only kin. Anything deeper than that – nothing.”

“He’s as secretive as Cypher if you ask me.” Viper interjected, sounding bored.

Sage turned to the older woman and rose a brow.

Viper stared back. “What?”

“Do you have something to do with this?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied as she turned her face away.

Sage pressed on. “I believe when Cypher told us yesterday about Sova’s privacy being breached, he was looking at your direction.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

She’s not giving up, Sage deadpanned to herself. She turned to Brimstone who, to Viper’s dismay, revealed dit.

“You solved it. Viper was the one who broke into Sova’s private quarters.”

Viper went wide eyed, giving a glare at Brimstone that could burn. But he was not bothered at the least. Sage had no time to ask why when Viper went straight to the point.

“He was communicating with his dearest grandmother secretly with his own secret mobile phone. Our base location could be in jeopardy just so he can keep in touch with her. Don’t start with me, Sage. I did it to save our lives. Deal with it.” The chemist stood and stomp out of the office.

Everything I say is wrong, thought Sage bitterly.

“Don’t take it to heart, Sage.” Brimstone assured her.

“I know,” she sighed before fixing her posture. “Alright. Here is this month’s health report…”

She and Omen meet again at the greenhouse garden later that afternoon. Jett had finished picking the vegetables, leaving the two alone for the remaining of the day.

“It is not the time yet,” the phantom grumbled. “I said every three days. You have two days left.”

“I just have a question for you.”

“Does this regard our sessions?”

“Yes, but not exactly.”

“Wait.” Omen said as he went to make sure coast was clear from other agents and Cypher’s cameras.

Once he was done, Sage asked him, “Is there anything I can do for you in return?”

Silence.

“You’re helping me with this problem I had for years. Surely there’s some way I can pay you back with.”

More silence.

“Omen,” she said again more softly. “I’m doing this out of kindness. I ask you again, what can I do for you in return?”

Omen looked at her and looked away to the direction where the sun began to set on the horizon. Was he being hesitant?

His answer was a surprise.

“Help me sleep.”

“Help you sleep…?”

Omen still did not turn to her. “I am a wraith. Not a human. I don’t have flesh or skin. I can feel pain and exhaustion … but never have I felt the need to sleep.” He looked at his gloved hands, clenching them into fists and opening them twice. “To be able to sleep again sounds … pleasant. Are you able to do that?” he asked, looking at her over his shoulder.

Sage felt her hand clenching on the other, though not from anger.

“I’ll think about it,” she answered.

Omen hummed, “Thank you,” and left.

Sage rubbed her heavy eyelids. It was three hours past curfew and she could not return to her quarters to lie down despite her body’s demand. Not yet. On her office desk lay several medical books and notes. She delved her mind most on subjects related to neurological illnesses. During the whole while, she managed to pinpoint Sova’s condition with one type of disease:

Multiple sclerosis.

An autoimmune disease where the immune system attacks the protective sheath of the nerve fibers in the spinal cord. It may lead to permanent damage or degeneration of the nerves. Majority of people with this had it first shown in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties, were Northern European descent, and originated from places that snow. It was a hard-to-detect kind of disease because many, including doctors, would assume it was only stress or a psychological thing. Everything ticked a mark with Sova.

A small part within her celebrated. I found it! Sage took a new piece of paper and copied the list of medications for sclerosis. Viper was also awake in her lab so she will tell her immediately.

Her pen stopped mid writing. Viper and Sova were on heat with each other lately. It may be best to let the chemist be involved into something less personal (unless necessary). Might as well give this to Brimstone beforehand. Or Cypher since he and Sova were good friends. Both of the men were likely asleep by now. It was time for her to do the same.

Sage tidied up her desk when she saw a figure dashed by the windows facing the hallway. She looked at it for a moment and shrugged. Must be Jett getting ice-cream, she thought.

She moved to fix some crinkles on a few beds when she heard a tapping from the med bay bathroom. Tap, tap-tap, tap-tap.

A chill went down her spine. Clearly, clearly, she was the only soul in the infirmary since dinner. And only Reyna had visited, to secretly steal a bottle of penicillin (which she failed—Sage knew her tactics).

She ignored it. When you hear things from places you know there was nobody there, ignore it; finish what you’re doing, and quickly go to sleep.

Turning off the last light in the med bay made her feel vulnerable all the sudden. It was as if she was in a forest surrounded by an ambush of tigers. She held the urge to run, brisk-walking her way down to her quarters. She shared the same hallway with her fellow Sentinels. Knowing them, they usually sleep past curfew to tinker. But not tonight. The tiny gap under their doors was dark. Sage was alone.

When she entered her room, she pushed every light switch on. The brightness hurt, but at least it drove the paranoia away a bit. Sage changed to her nightwear and washed her face. Her reflection seemed to be about to jump out and grab her. Again, she brushed it off and went to bed. She left her study lamp on. It was bright enough to lit a quarter of the entire room yet far enough to not bother her from sleeping.

Minutes passed, and her consciousness began to lift blissfully.

Tapping on her balcony doors stopped that.

Tap, tap-tap, tap-tap.

The same five taps. The same rhythm. Sage forced herself to think it was a bird nesting or a dull prank from Jett. The second assumption cannot be true. Jett’s room was near the lounge. And that’s on the other side of the building.

She told herself, it’s just some birds nesting.

 “Hello?”

Her eyes flew open, her body sleek with sweat. Somebody was on her balcony and it sounded like a little girl.

“Hello~? Anyone?”

Her body and mind froze, unsure what to do. Should she say hello back? Should she check? Perhaps it’s best to go to sleep.

“I know you’re awake.”

Sage could not close her eyes anymore; fear clawed her whole.

“Can you come outside? I have something to show you.”

A temptation. Do not fall for it.

The door suddenly rattled. “Come outside,” the voice said. “Please come outside.”

Sage did not realize she had jumped to the other side of her room, one hand over heart and the other on the main door knob. She cannot lie to herself anymore. This was too obvious. The first thing she thought of was to alert Cypher or Killjoy. She swung the door open—

—and crashed into Omen’s chest.

Sage yelped, almost mistaking the bizarre face of her teammate as another being. “Omen—!”

“What is causing the noise?” he asked, noticing her situation straight away.

“I—I don’t know. Something—someone—is on my balcony.”

Omen growled as he pushed her aside to inspect her room. The rattling had stopped, but Sage could feel ‘it’ was still there. Omen must have known that, too.

“Get under your blankets,” he told her. “Cover your entire body head to toe, and don’t look.”

Sage stared at him mouth agape. “Maybe I should wait in the bathroom—”

“No,” he cut her off. “We must make it assume you are asleep. If you wait in the bathroom and the door locks on its own, how will I help if it gets in there with you before I do?”

Everything about this reminded her of incidents back during her soldier curriculum days. She was lucky enough to never experience one before. Now, not so much. Nonetheless, she did as Omen told. Omen slowly closed the main door, locked it, turned on the balcony light and turned the study lamp off. Nothing about his plan felt comforting. Sage peeked her head out of the blankets and gave Omen a questioning look. He merely pointed a finger gesturing at her to cover up and don’t look.

Her heart thundered in her ears as her breath moisturize near her face. She heard the balcony door slide open and Omen saying, “You are not welcomed here.”

His voice was drowned away by her vigorous heartbeats. Her chest hurts, her skin felt cold. She held the urge to pull the blanket down for some air, and from taking a peek.

A rancid smell filled her nostrils, causing her to gag and cough. The smell was too much. Sage lifted her blanket slightly to get some fresh air—

And saw a face in front of her. A bloody, rotting face. Facial muscles stood out, teeth yellow and black, eyes without eyelids staring into her soul. Something about felt familiar. Horrifyingly familiar. And—for the first time—this was not her mother’s killer.

The thing made a sound but Sage saw no more.

The next thing she knew, sunlight filled her room and Reyna was dapping a cool damp cloth on her forehead.

“Good morning, carino,” she said, smiling sweetly.

What on earth?

Sage scanned her bedroom, making sure what was happening was not a dream. Her head spun when she tried to sit up. Reyna gently pushed her back down to her bed. “Easy, Sage. You’re having a light fever.”

“What time is it?” the bastion asked after the headache eased.

“Nine twenty a.m.”

“What?!” Sage sat up in shock, swaying a bit from the fast movement. I slept that long?

Reyna put a hand on her shoulder. “Relax, Corazon. Omen told us you’ve had a rough night. He even asked to let you go easy for the day.”

“He … did?”

Reyna nodded. “Quite sweet of him, if you ask me.”

Surprisingly sweet seemed more fitting. What did he do last night? Sage wanted to see the wraith but Reyna suggested to eat the breakfast Brimstone saved for her and take a shower. Sage did both, feeling a little better albeit a bit lightheaded. Between the tasks, she asked Reyna if she felt anything out of the ordinary last night.

“Forgive me, carino, I was sleeping like a log. Too tired to sense anything other than Brimstone’s snoring.”

I’m about to go crazy, thought Sage. Last night’s … incident is tearing my head apart.

Sage pushed herself to some work, earning a few worried thoughts from some of her teammates. She only spotted Sova heading towards the teleporter to the Range. She let him go alone. She later found Omen in the medical bay with Viper. The two were having a hushed argument and stopped when Sage slowly opened the door.

“Oh, there you are!” exclaimed Viper. “I was wondering what made the Protocol’s healer to break her own rule.”

“I’m sorry. I had a … rough night.” Sage almost said ‘weird’ but it would sound like an excuse.

Viper rose a brow then shrugged. “Never mind that. The latest batch of drugs and kits just arrived. We better start sorting them before any of the idiots get themselves hurt.”

“Roger that.” Sage grabbed a list and went into one of the containers near her desk. She managed to opened it ajar when Omen pushed it down closed.

“We need to talk,” he whispered in his growl.

Sage opened her mouth to say something but Viper beat her to it. “Omen, will you kindly leave us ladies to do our task?”

“I need to talk with Sage.”

“Couldn’t you do it later?”

“No.”

Viper sighed and swiped her face exasperatedly. “Fine. I’ll give you two ten minutes.” The chemist rolled a container with her to the infirmary’s storage, leaving them alone.

“What happened last night?” Sage asked before Omen could.

“Did I not tell you not to peek?” replied Omen with stern. “The moment I opened the door, a few spirits slipped pass me and went to you. Spirits that wanted to harm you.”

Amid the confusion, anger began to boil within the healer. Sage stood up straight until their faces meet. “You could have said that in the first place!”

“You should have guessed it.”

“It was three in the morning and I was dead tired.”

“Exactly why they decided to disturb you.” Omen crossed his arms. “They sense your aura faltering.  Before this, you have always been strong. Your aura and spirituality made them afraid of you.”

Does that an answer to why they only appear when I use … Sage stopped the thought. “Is this an effect of your Paranoia?”

“It is different to everyone, yet all so similar.”

“That does not answer my question,” replied Sage crossly. “You said your Paranoia would help me – you even explained that it would succeed! I put hope in that! I thought you will help me to end this—this haunting of mine. Are you saying it is getting worse? Or is there no difference?”

Omen continued to stare at her, his body glitching as usual. After a minute of silence, he spoke up.

“I’m afraid I cannot guarantee it. Your power is the reason why the souls follow you. In my theory, in order to completely stop them from haunting you is to end your power.”

Her heart seemed to seize on itself. There were no records of Radiants who had their power taken away without dying. Kingdom had tried. The ‘rehabilitation camps’ have tried. All those innocent Radiants… Sage was among the lucky ones to escape (or unlucky enough to be a must-be-alive-and-well subject). Her mind was searching for a perfect argument. She closed her eyes and sighing her anger away.

“What do I do now?” she asked politely.

Omen too answered politely, “We will continue it as promised. We will do it my quarters tomorrow, should we have no mission to attend.”

“Okay. I will.”

Omen slightly bowed his head and exited the med bay. Sage forced herself to start sorting although her arms felt weak and shaky. Viper wondered what the two were talking about. Sage merely said “It’s confidential.” Luckily, the older woman paid no mind to it.

There was something she was supposed to do. Something important.

Unbeknownst to her, the medication note had been blown to a forgotten corner in her room when Omen opened the balcony door. By the time Sage remembered about it, she was too late.

.

.

.

Chapter Text

I aim to help,

Only the worse to happen.

Her soul is all,

But split like glass.

.

.

Forgive me,

For hurting you,

Just remind yourself that,

We are here for you.

.

.

Release the rope,

That drags you down.

Hold on instead to,

Ropes that bring you high.

Higher than the clouds,

Closer to the stars,

Perhaps one day, your memory

Lives on like a star.

.

.

.

Chapter Text

Thorne managed to reach home and stayed there for some time before reaching for Valorant Protocol. As much as she wanted to forget about the journey home, she could not.

The bloody escape from the facility. The claustrophobic rides in airplanes and boats. And the anxiety. The anxiety was so great she could not shake the feeling that her home was another embodiment of Kingdom’s facility. None of her family members’ reassurance could ease that. Not even those from her own father.

“No one is coming, my jade,” said Papa soothingly, embracing her in his now wrinkled arms she thought that could stay strong forever. “We haven’t seen Kingdom here since they took you away.”

“Are you sure?” she squeaked between tears.

“Yes, I’m very sure.” He kissed her in her hair and let her sob into his shoulder. “You are with me. You are safe here.”

Although her family monastery was built on top of a steep hill, it was merely a small obstacle for Kingdom. They had flattened mountains and wipe out towns to get what they want. They were coming—their drones at the very least—Thorne was sure of it. She was too terrified to leave the winter pantry when she had first arrived. An aunt found her first, later her entire family tried to coax her to come out. Her mind kept bringing up images of the Radiants she had left behind to die. She cried and begged for them to be wary of the skies.

“They might be here looking for me!”

She waited there for days, followed by weeks. She only came out for a bathroom break and rushed back inside. After a month and a half, she finally had enough courage to sleep in her childhood bedroom.

Nightmares were braver than her. Years spent walled out of the world carved deep. Every morning when she woke, she touched the plants outside her window and pierce the stem with her fingernail to make sure they were real. Every time someone knocked on the door, she seethed a wushu broadsword from her teenage days until the person who knocked spoke up. She even distanced herself from her own father. Papa was never a liar. She trusted him with her life. However, her mind kept whispering a possibility that her old man was actually an actor to lure her back into Kingdom’s clutches.

None of them were true. It took her too long to be confident of that.

It took her a lot longer to be used to be called by her real name again. The first person who call out her real name was when she was about to board a boat to be smuggled to her village. His name, his face, her memories with him almost faded completely until she saw him on that dock.

Su Peng.

Su Peng, the honorable firefighter. Su Peng, the most sought-after suitor among the monastery families. Su Peng who won her heart – and he hers.

Su Peng who helped to get her home while a mob dragged him away with death promised in their chants and blades in their hands.

“This is your room?”

“Yes.”

Every agent has a room that was suitable to their needs accordingly. The tinkerers got the most spacious quarters for their workshop. Viper has a quick access from her room to her lab (as much as how dangerous as it sounds, she insisted to keep it that way). Breach asked to have his room next to the gym so it would be easy for him to set his prosthesis on his own. The rest occupied normal rooms, all included with a built-in wardrobe and a private bathroom.

Then there was Omen’s.

“This is kind of … cramped.”

Sage technically narrowed her way to the only spot where she can sit down: on Omen’s bed. He had no desk—not even an extra space to put a chair. His room had only a single-sized bed, a small wardrobe, a trunk in a corner, and some sort of standing sleeping chamber that occupied half of the entire room.

Oh, and he also had a cat tree.

Sage found herself scanning his room feeling dumbfounded and pity. “You’re okay with your room like this?” she asked worriedly.

“Yes,” Omen answered in his usual tone. “I hardly spend time here. I do not sleep, so I roam around base at night with Comet.”

“Comet?”

“My cat.”

As if on cue, a cat mewled from a hole in the cat tree and made its way to rub on Omen’s leg. It was a black tabby with a streak of white fur on its back that matched the silhouette of a comet.

Sage cooed at the sight. She knelt down to gain its attention and succeeded. The cat rubbed its hand in her palm and seemed to melt, purring loudly.

She heard Omen hmphed. “Traitor. Snarled at me on our first days only to purr at someone she never met.”

“She?”

“Yes. She. She should be four years old now.”

“When did you bring her here?”

“Some time ago.”

Being secretive for a feline. How cute. “Does Phoenix know?”

“… Why does Phoenix have to know?”

“He has cat allergy, remember?” Once, Jett found a litter of kittens outside Haven on one mission and wanted to bring them back to base. But then Phoenix couldn’t stop coughing and sneezing on the ride, so she had to let them go at a town in Bhutan. The young Korean was upset about it for two days.

Omen looked away seemingly in shame. “I … forgot.”

Sage giggled, “I’ll tell him.” She let go off the cat as it went and returned to its spot on the cat tree.

Normally it’s inappropriate for an unrelated man and woman to be alone in one room, especially when there was no emergency or anything of sort. Sage thought about suggesting to do their ‘session’ in the Range again. Then she remembered Cypher. The only places in base where he did not put up his cameras were the private quarters. And with everyone on base, it was best to do somewhere they least expect the two to be at.

“I’ve been thinking,” Omen began. “After this, should that night’s occurrence happen again, I will cease this. Perhaps today will be the last time I will use Paranoia to help you.”

Confusion dawned on her but disappeared quickly. Paranoia effects differently to everyone, she recalled Omen’s words. “I understand,” she said.

While pulling Paranoia from his arm, he told her “I predicted we may do this thrice, but twice seems enough.”

“You don’t think I can handle this?” Sage asked.

A pregnant pause. “Your powers… It contradicts mine, in a way I have no explanation of.”

Every day more questions come while less answers happen.

Never mind that now. She’s ready.

“I’m ready,” she told him and took the Paranoia without fear.

Thorne—Jiang Ling—huddled in the empty corner of the winter pantry, her heart constantly in her throat. She had moved the food that was supposed to be where her sleeping spot was so she would not waste her farmer relatives’ efforts.

“Not enough!” screamed a man in a suit from the hellish place she had escaped. “Show your effort! Show it or die!!”

Ming-Ming. Khai Lee. Chou. Baizhou. Mei Ying.

Dead, dead, dead. Dead because they did not show enough effort. Dead because they showed too much effort. Dead because Kingdom saw them useless when they began to grow weak.

Dead and gone.

Dead and disrespected.

Their families have no idea of their deaths, nor if they had been buried or cremated.

Thorne—Jiang Ling—almost joined them. And the cost? The other Radiants who chose to stay behind so she and the rest could escape.

Chong Mei. Xing Yuen. Yap Chee. Eva. And more whose name she never knew.

Thorne prayed every night, O Buddha, God and deities of my fallen Radiants, grant them the highest place in Your heavens. Grant them peace in the Afterlife.

Time passed, Thorne watched from the gaps on the trapdoor how the sun moved and set and replaced by the moon. Something about the moon was intriguing. Her mind told her to stay inside. Her gut pushed her body to climb up and out of the pantry.

Suddenly she was nowhere near the pantry. Now Thorne was underneath the floor of the main temple. Her relatives stood crowdedly above her as though to enhance her hiding spot with their shadows. At the entrance steps, Thorne heard her father’s voice. He sounded angry. And betrayed.

“Did you feed your heart to the devil?! You were the one who told them to take her away! You are the reason I lost her – my daughter!”

Papa is pretending, Thorne realized. Who is he shouting at?

The person he was shouting to was saying something but Thorne only heard muffles as if the person was blocked by a wall of water. Thorne pressed her face on a gap to catch a glimpse of the person. They were there, but their form was broken like a glitched model in a game.

“You are not welcomed here! Not anymore!” Papa yelled again. “Don’t you even dare pretend to be innocent!”

His words stabbed knives into Thorne’s—Jiang Ling’s—heart. Who was the person? Were they that bad for Papa to exile from the monastery?

“You know the answer.”

Jiang Ling turned to her side and saw him – her mother’s killer. He was not bloody and wounded, just in the shirt he wore the night he tried to rob them. His weapon was missing, that’s a first.

“What are you talking about?” asked Jiang Ling amid her pounding heart.

The thug only crook his neck and repeated, “You know the answer.”

Jiang Ling took a few steps back. “No, I don’t.”

“You know the answer,” he said again. “Do not deny it. You brought this on yourself.”

“No!” she cried out. “I never wanted this!” Who would want to live a miserable life?

“Do no deny it~” he said in a sing-song tone.

Jiang Ling covered her ears with her hands as she backed away from him until her back touched a wall. “Stop it—stop it!”

“Do not deny it~”

“STOP!!” Jiang Ling—Thorne—whoever she was—collapsed to her knees clutching her ears and shut her eyes tightly. The thug would not stop bothering her. He continued to sing. Something snapped within her and Sage opened her eyes and went to strike him with her fist.

There was only blackness. No thug, no flooring, nor shadows of her relatives.

Only her, in a space of nothingness.

She ran. Towards where—she has no idea. She ran forward as fast as her legs can bring her. The void continued to stretch. There was no end to it.

As sudden as the void came, the end of it slammed into her entire being like a high ocean wave. She was thrown to back hard, rolling sideways until eventually stopped. She slowly looked up…

She was at one of the islands of the Range – where Valorant practices site retakes. There should be a bunch of scraps here. Decades-old televisions and radios, and worn beds. The area was spacious, and looked brand new.

What is happening? Sage thought to herself. Something about the cleanliness sent chills down her spine.

“Sage?” said a voice behind her.

She spun around and found Killjoy, her signature jacket and beanie missing. Sage sighed in relief at seeing a familiar face. “Oh. It’s just you, Alexis.”

“When did you get here?” she asked, seemingly bewildered.

“I… I don’t know,” Sage replied. “I must have slept in here.”

“Pretty long sleep you have, don’t you?” Killjoy’s tone shifted abruptly. A sentence meant for a joke but with the tone of an accuser.

Sage was taken aback by it. “What are you talking about?”

“Where have you been?”

“… Huh?”

“Where. The hell. Have you been, Sage?” The young German’s face turned dark with fury. “Where the hell did you go when we needed you?!”

The healer tried to move her feet backwards but they remain frozen. “Killjoy, what—?” Her mouth slammed shut as the younger woman aimed a Frenzy on her. “Killjoy…?”

“Why did you leave?” she demanded. “Answer me, Sage! Why?!”

Slowly raising her hands up in surrender, Sage said carefully, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t pull that bullsh^t! You were right there! You were right there when we needed you! You could have healed anyone of us!” The German’s voice broke. “You could have healed him… Why didn’t you heal Brimstone?!”

The grief, the rage and betrayal. There was no doubt of it. Brimstone was… Valorant’s leader was—

Sage’s blood turn cold. “Alexis… I’m sorry. I’m so sor—” Bullets flew pass her right ear, only missing by a hair’s width.

Killjoy’s face was shadowed over, the tip of her Frenzy smoking. “Don’t you DARE be sorry!! You’re a traitor! Of all people to run away—YOU RAN AWAY!!”

“Alexis, please, I have no idea what you’re saying. I ran away? When did—What happened?”

“We were attacked! Our high-ups didn’t bat an eye as usual. They let the Interpol attack our base with a die-or-capture order.” Her breath hitched. “We barely got away… We only got away because Brim… Brim stayed behind…”

Sage tried to reach out for her then backed away as Killjoy recomposed herself.

“He was staying behind for YOU, Sage!” she yelled with tears streaming down her face. “YOU!! But you weren’t there where he told you to be!

JUST DIE!!!”

Shots fired. Sage shut her eyes and automatically shield herself with her arms, but the pain never came. She slowly opened her eyes in confusion to find the environment changed again.

She was in the void again, accompanied with Killjoy. Her corpse, that was.

Her heart leapt to her throat, stomach rolling, every fiber of her muscles weakening. She reached out to the young German.

One blink later, corpses of the entire Valorant team appeared surrounding her.

No

No

NO

NO

Dark purple bruise deep around Killjoy’s neck. Asphyxiation?

Viper’s gas mask broken – foam filled her mouth and eyes leaking blood. Poisoned?

Face hidden by the mess of his blond hair though she spotted how sharp the cheeks were—how extremely thin his body looked. Malnourishment?

Brimstone lying on his side clutching his bloodied stomach. Gunshot wound to the liver?

Sage skimmed at the sight of one teammate after another. She must know how they died. She must revive them.

She must revive!

Revive!

Revive them!

You can’t save them—

Shut up! I can!

Revive damn it!!

You must let go—

NO NO NO NO NO

LET ME SAVE THEM!!!

“SAGE!”

Breathing suddenly felt relieving and alien at the same time. She was no longer sitting on Omen’s bed. She was on the floor, back against the wall, body covered in sweat, and hot tears in her eyes. Omen had his hands firm on her shoulders, pining her on the wall. His shadow essence seemed to smoke out of his hood.

Sage took in more air and scanned the room. Omen’s room. Not her home temple, not the void, not the estranged version of the Range.

Mere hallucinations. That was what they were.

Buddha, God and deities of all religion!

“What did you do?” she asked loud and angry.

“I did nothing.” Omen answered, his hands still holding her.

Sage pushed him off and stood, swaying a bit at the sudden movement. The edge of her spinning eyesight caught Omen lending out a hand. She slapped him away, shocked by her own reflexed.

“Sage—” he began, but she cut him off.

“You’re right. We’re done.” She pushed pass him to head for the door.

“Sage.”

“I shouldn’t have agreed to this.”

“Sage, listen to me.”

“WHAT?!” The healer spun to face him. Her heel stomped the floor strong enough to feel it shake.

Omen growled, showing his own end of his patience. A minute of tense silence passed before he said, “I cannot help end your haunting.”

Rage boiled in her blood. “Why did you say this now?! I resisted every recurring nightmare in hopes I could finally see the end of them! I hope I could use my powers without bargaining with the dead!”

“I know.”

“I cannot even think about my Revival, Omen! One doubt about it and they come attack me!”

“I know.”

“You asked me where the life I give comes from. Now I’m not sure anymore! Maybe taking the life force of other lives is not how I bring the dead back! I could be taking someone’s life in the other dimension for heaven’s sake!”

“That’s enough, Sage.”

“No!” she cried. “You said you can help me! After everything I went through to be immune to them, I thought a fellow Radiant like you would understand more!” Sage stopped. If thoughts were physical, it would be piling her tongue with the most venomous sentences she could think off. She forced her shoulders to relax and turn away from the wraith.

“Sage…” he said again. Softly. Despite how she yelled at him—in his room. “Forgive me. I made a mistake.”

I forgive you, her heart wanted to say back.

No, I don’t, her head wanted to spit out.

Emotions conflicted, Sage pushed the door open and head to her room. She nearly crashed into Brimstone and Killjoy who were about to knock, wondering what was the yelling about. The sight of the two almost made her break into a run. Almost.

“What the hell happened?” She heard Brimstone asked.

“The fault was mine,” She heard Omen answered. “I made a mistake.”

Her attempts to avoid Omen succeeded for two weeks.

There were times when they had no choice but to pair—usually during missions. They only speak to share info and no more. The tension was only clear to Brimstone and Killjoy, who kept it a secret, bless them. While the young engineer made sure not to involve herself in it, the old soldier had to address the problem.

“I don’t know what he did, but you need to talk to someone about it.”

He came to Sage in the medical bay with a tray of ginseng tea and biscuits. He approached with his fatherly side on display, not his soldier self.

“I’d rather not,” Sage answered meekly, struggling to hold her formal posture from acting like a child; to turn her attention away from the American.

“Hey now—who’s the doctor here?” he teased lightly. “One of the best ways to rid of negative thoughts is to talk about them or…?”

“Write them down. I know, Brimstone.” I am not a doctor, she almost blurted out. She bit her inner cheeks.

Brimstone sighed as he sat down on the chair at the opposite of side of her desk. “Want talk about it? I’m all ears.” He poured tea to a cup and pushed it to her grasp.

Sage took it, mumbling a thank you. Her eyes stare beyond the ceiling for a moment, her mind arguing with itself. Tell or not to tell? The bastion decided to change the subject.

“Are you sure Sova is fit for missions?”

Brimstone had signed Sova to a short-notice mission at Split with Viper, Breach, Phoenix and Jett. The Russian was still out of character but his obedience as an agent stayed. Sage was not there to argue for the hunter to stay because the team had left before dawn broke. Her leader rose a brow, likely surprised at the change of topic. He did not say about it, though.

“He stayed out of the field long enough. Some future missions might need him solo. He can’t be rusty in the battlefield. None of us can.”

“I know but, still, I have yet to find what is ailing him.”

“He’s only a bit grumpy these weeks, Sage.”

“Are you still ignoring the possibility that he has illness that might be a fatal one?” she argued, tone unintentionally accusing. She quickly corrected herself, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it that way.”

Brimstone coolly replied, “Don’t worry about it.” He sipped some tea and sighed. “Look, I know you worry but we can’t keep pampering ourselves. The world today needs fighters. Everyone in this team chose to be those fighters.”

Sage looked at him while he paused. He was firm with his words, yet in his eyes, she saw a bit of pain and sadness. He was tired of serving. It was clear to her. And yet here he was leading a shadow organization full of wanted people. Sage herself included.

The old commander continued, his tone lighter, “Keep your hopes up, okay? I’m sure Sova and the team will come back safe and—”

His words were cut off when the healer’s comm blinked to life. “This is Phoenix to Sage. Sage, you there?”

Her heart began to thump hard. She looked at Brimstone who looked back with a serious face.

Sage pressed the comm. “I hear you, Phoenix. What’s the situation?”

“It’s Sova—” Her world suddenly turned cold. “—something’s wrong with him. Viper said to prepare an IV drip. He really doesn’t look good.”

Sage stood up to prepare a bed. She signaled Brimstone, who immediately knew what to do, as she continued to get info from the fire Radiant.

An hour later, the mission team returned with Sova half conscious. The day went on getting him comfortable and stable. Brimstone made a risky plan to get the hunter proper treatment via a real hospital. Sage was sure she had no idea what had made him so sick.

But she knew, knew, knew what it was. Why can’t she remember it?

Alongside that, the idea of sending three of the team (one sick, two abled) to the mainland wouldn’t stop the intense fear growing inside her. Her mind threw an image from the Paranoia the other day. Killjoy with a bruised neck. Viper with foam in her mouth. Sova thin as a skeleton. Brimstone in a pool of his own blood.

That won’t happen. That will not happen! Sage told herself angrily. It’s just some stupid vision. Keep your head straight.

Unfortunately, life is unpredictable.

So were their enemies…

On the second night after sending Sova, Viper and Killjoy to the mainland, Sage was startled awake by an invisible claw grasping her body. She shot up straight on her bed, fear clenching her whole. Before she could calm down, her comm blinked an emergency signal.

“Agents: Sage, Raze and Phoenix, commence to the hangar for an immediate leave.”

The bastion rolled off the bed and put her battle gears on. She rushed for the hangar and found the two young Duelists already there (bed hair sticking out) and Brimstone firing up a van. She asked, “Brimstone, what’s the situation?”

“They’re compromised,” he said quickly.

“Killjoy, Viper and Sova?” Raze asked.

He gestured the three to get in, his serious face alone seemed to answer the question. Sage felt her blood turn cold.

“I’ll tell you the details on the ride. Come on!”

After he explained what had occurred to the team on the mainland, a part within Sage told her that this was not surprising at all. Stop it, she scolded herself. I will not, that part answered back; strangely in the voice of her mother’s killer.

When they arrived at the hospital, the building had a dreadful aura coming from it. The security guards on the gates were unconscious. The receptionists were knocked out as well. The three of them (Sage, Brimstone and Phoenix; Raze guarding the transport) hurriedly made their way up to the floor where Sova’s ward was. In one hallway, a few patients and guests were crowded there.

“I called the police.”

“Who would do this?”

“Do you know who’s her friend?”

“An American lady—I think—with black hair.”

“They just kidnapped him…”

“I wanted to help, but then they punched her.”

“Okay, okay, everyone. The police are coming. We just need to help the nurse, the guard and this girl—”

“Killjoy!” Brimstone breathed out and broke into a sprint towards the crowd. They jumped back at his sudden appearance.

One of the patients, a thin middle-aged man, quickly asked, “Who are you?”

“I’m her guardian!” answered Brimstone, gently yet hastily pushed through the crowd. He froze for a moment before kneeling down. “Oh no… Alexis…!”

Sage rushed to Brimstone’s side, Phoenix on her tail. The healer felt her blood turn cold at the sight. Lying on the floor head in Brimstone’s arms was Killjoy. Unconscious, nose broken and bloodied, face blue.

Just like the vision—justlikethevision—!

While Phoenix squeezed through the crowd to check on Sova’s ward, Sage cut her thoughts off and quickly knelt beside the young German, checking her pulse (irregular rhythms) and breath rate (weak and faint).

“We need to take her back. Fast!” she told Brimstone before turning to one of the inpatients. “You said she was punched?”

The inpatient nodded. “They—One of them injected on her neck. Twice.”

Sage felt a pit in her stomach. Phoenix returned with panic on his face. “Sova’s gone.”

The two words pushed the panic button. Sage mustered all her might to stay calm and stabilize Killjoy as they went out to the last location Viper could be, where the SOS signal was sent and was cut abruptly. The car was nowhere to be found. Except for signs of a car crash on a wall of a street.

“Your nightmare is coming true~” sung the thief in her head. “Your team will die all because you forgot the note.”

Realization dawned on her and shame struck her like a spear. I knew the answer to Sova’s condition. I knew but forgot. This happened because of me.

“They’re going to die~”

All because of me.

“Prepare for the execution, Jiang Ling~”

Shut. Up.

.

.

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