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Caffeinated Chaos

Summary:

When Ace and Leela steal coffee from Narvin's office, no one is prepared for the hyper, caffeine-induced shenanigans that ensue.

Notes:

Thanks to bravest_person_in_Wonderland for coming up with this idea and to LadyofLothal for brainstorming it with us! I am having way too much fun writing this 😂

Chapter Text

In the CIA Tower, tucked back apart from all the action but close enough to reach it within a few nanospans, was Narvin’s office. Leela could walk to it with her eyes closed. Sometimes she came to get a mission briefing, sometimes just to talk, or other times, like now, to relay some words from Romana that were better delivered in person rather than over communicators.

But as Leela approached the office, she was surprised to see someone other than Narvin standing outside of it. 

“Ace?” 

Ace jumped so quickly that something from her hand fell to the ground with a metallic clink. She snatched it up quickly and then turned to Leela wide-eyed, putting a hand over her heart as she breathed out a long sigh of relief. 

“Oh, Leela, it’s just you.” 

“What are you doing here? Where is Narvin?” 

Ace innocently clasped her hands behind her back. “He’s away for a couple hours, checking some kind of security measures somewhere.” 

Leela examined Ace’s posture; she was trying too hard to be at ease. “That still does not explain what you are doing.” 

“Just…making sure he remembered to lock up!” She pressed the button for the door and nothing happened. “There you go, safe as houses.” 

Now it wasn’t just her posture, but her wide grin that also gave it away. “Ace,” Leela said, incriminating her with a single word. 

Ace deflated, slumping her shoulders. “Okay, fine. I’m looking for the coffee.” 

“Coffee?” Leela had a vague recollection of the Earth drink. Romana and Narvin drank it sometimes, but she’d never taken much notice. 

“Narvin shows up with it every morning! I think he does it just to torture me.” 

“He will not share any with you?” 

Ace shook her head. “When I asked him, he just laughed and said no.” 

Leela considered for a moment. She didn’t condone sneaking around and breaking into offices, especially if it was Narvin’s, but if Ace was being wronged…

“This drink is important to you?” 

Ace’s expression softened. “Even just the smell—it’s like a little piece of home.” 

Compassion flooded through Leela. She looked into Ace’s eyes, wondering if she was truly clever enough to bring up the one thing they shared here that no one else did: they were far from home. If Leela could have some kind of remnant of her own home planet, wouldn’t she do anything to get it? 

Leela crossed her arms. “You are trying to trick me.” 

“Leela,” Ace moaned, spreading her arms helplessly. “Please? Narvin won’t even notice. We’ll put everything back just how it was.” 

She knew Ace. She knew that no matter what she promised, this would probably mean trouble. 

But, if Leela was being completely honest with herself…she was pretty bored. 

Leela sighed, giving in. “Your sonic screwdriver will not work on this door, or any others in the Capitol.” 

Ace groaned with disappointment, bringing her sonic screwdriver into view and frowning down at it. 

“But there is another way.” 

Ace grinned. 

Leela showed Ace how she’d seen the panel surrounding the door control taken off and some of the wires within moved about to open a locked door. She didn’t know specifically how it worked, but Ace didn’t seem to be bothered by that. 

“Ah, yeah!” Ace exclaimed cheerily as she stared into the mess of wires beneath the panel. “It’s sort of like hot-wiring a car!” 

Leela had no idea what that meant, but Ace seemed to know what she was doing as she stuck her hands inside. A spark shot out and Ace pulled back quickly, exclaiming in pain. 

“Ace! Are you all right?” 

Ace sucked on one of her fingers and nodded, turning back to the panel. “What I do for coffee,” she muttered to herself, reaching back into the panel. It took another minute or two, but finally, the door slid open. 

“Yes!” Ace exclaimed, pumping her fist. She went inside and stood in the middle of Narvin’s office. Her head turned as she seemed to examine every inch of the place. “Shoulda known someone like Narvin would have a boring office.” She cradled her chin in her hand thoughtfully. “If I was coffee, where would I hide…” 

“The space is small; it should not take long to search. Perhaps in here?” Leela touched a large metal box with handles. 

Ace shook her head. “Filing cabinet.” She frowned, then knelt by Narvin’s desk. She pulled out a couple of drawers until—

“Aha!” Ace drew out a cylindric plastic container and then some kind of contraption after it. “Jackpot!” 

“What is this ‘jackpot?’ I thought you were looking for coffee.” 

Ace chuckled. “No, this is coffee, and a coffee maker to brew it with.” A manic grin lit up her face. “Leela, this is the start of a beautiful day.”