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Chapter Text

December 28, 1979
11:15 P.M. The Cave

Regulus Black was losing his mind. The Black Family madness had finally come for him. He knew, on some level, that he was in a cave with his house-elf, Kreacher, and that they had an important job to do. But his mind was back in Grimmauld Place, and all he could hear was Mother and Sirius screaming over each other. If he thought about it, he would have realized he was sitting on the wet stone, hugging his knees with his back against the basin that held….something important. (Why couldn't he remember?) However, in the moment, all that he saw was his childhood bedroom. Empty of the newspaper clippings he'd plastered his walls with. The clippings that disgusted him now. This was his bedroom as it had been when he was fifteen. Something important had happened when he was fifteen. What was it? The screaming wouldn't stop. He tried covering his ears, but the screaming was inside his head. Something occurred to him.

You could scream back. Who's gonna notice? Mother won't notice you if Sirius is around. Sirius hasn't noticed you since James Potter came into the picture. And Father's gone now.

This all seemed very logical to Regulus, and he really did want to scream. Everything hurt from that potion Kreacher had given him, and he'd wanted to scream back at the both of them for years. So Regulus screamed. Nothing intelligible, just a long scream that he'd been dying to let out for who knows how long. And no one in that house heard him. He smiled at that. You don't have to be the perfect son if they can't hear you. So Regulus kept screaming.

"SHUT UP!" He had found within him the courage to speak-or rather, to scream-his mind, and he felt near-invincible. "JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE! NOBODY CARES! NOBODY IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN HOUSE EVEN CARES!" He had done it. He had stood up to his mother. He wasn't sure if it counted, given this seemed to be a memory of sorts, and she couldn't hear him. But he still felt a rush of strength. He'd done it. He'd finally told Walburga Black to shut her horrid mouth for once, and it gave him an odd sort of adrenaline. This must be what it feels like to be Sirius.

"Master Regulus!" Who was that? Oh, Kreacher. "Is Master Regulus okay? Kreacher is getting more of the potion, and Kreacher hears Master Regulus screaming."

"I'm-" his voice was hoarse, and he didn't have the energy to be surprised by it. "I'm fine, Kreacher." The elf had brought him back to reality, but only for a moment. He remembered that he had to keep drinking this potion (Why though?), and that his arm hurt. There was a cut on it, right over the Dark Mark. He remembered making the cut, and he knew it was for a reason. He'd done it to...to...to get into the cave. That was it. And he needed to drink the potion to take the Dark Lord's horcrux. He felt a little better now that he remembered everything, but knew this moment of stability wouldn't last.

He drank from the goblet, and the memory returned. His brother's voice was louder. Were they still brother's? They had to be...right?

"That's it! I'm leaving! No one in this house even cares about me! And guess what? I don't care about any of you! I’m not your puppet, Mother. I’m not Regulus." Regulus could feel the impact of those words in his stomach. He remembered feeling that way the first time this happened too. Well, He thought with a smirk, as he remembered where he was, and what he was doing, let's see you call me a puppet now, Sirius.

The other thing was...Regulus did care for Sirius. Sure, they hadn't had a great relationship ever since Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, but they were brothers. Maybe. He tried to remember if Sirius still liked him when he was fifteen. He couldn't help but think it was a bit of a double standard, Sirius hadn't much cared that their cousin, Andromeda, was in Slytherin. The two of them had always been close, the way he himself had been with Cissa. Of course, she had been Andromeda, and Regulus had been himself. So there was that to take into account.

But Sirius had always looked out for him at school, and made sure other kids didn't pick on him (A right which was apparently reserved for Sirius himself). He'd even congratulated him when he won his first quidditch game.

He heard Sirius' feet running up the stairs. Then his bedroom door slammed. So dramatic. He gets it from mother. Regulus always thought he was the calmer brother, but his recent screaming fit did little to support that notion. Regulus stayed where he was, he knew what came next, and he didn’t think he was ready to relive it. But the version of him in the memory walked towards his door and opened it. Sirius stormed past him, trunk in hand. The fact that he had his trunk packed already…

"Is this what you wanted? You're the heir now. Regulus Black, the perfect pureblood son. I hope you're happy." Sirius spat out the words at him. As if everything was Regulus' fault. And maybe it was. He mused. It was interesting what three more years of life had done to his perspective.

"Sirius, I-" But Sirius cut him off. Not that it mattered, as I had no idea what to say.

"Don't. Just don't, Reg. I can’t stay here, but I…" He seemed to want to say something, but then thought better off it. "I'll see you on the Express."

And then Sirius was walking downstairs. And Regulus was screaming again. He wouldn't let it happen again. Not like it did when he was fifteen.

"Sirius, wait! Please, please, just wait! I'll come with you this time, please, Siri! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, Sirius, please don't leave me with them!" He watched the front hall as his brother walked out the door. "No! No, Sirius, come back! Please, you have to!"

"Master Regulus! Master Regulus!" At the sound of Kreacher's voice, he snapped out of it. It was just a memory. He'd never get a second chance at that night. And screaming into a near-empty cave wouldn't change that. He began to sob. He didn't know what he was crying for. Everything and nothing, it seemed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. Probably after his big fight with Sirius.

His mother's voice rang in his head. "Blacks don't cry." He wanted to scream at her that it was all her fault he was crying in the first place. But he didn't think his voice could take anymore screaming. And really, it was all his own fault. He could blame his heritage, or his mother all he wanted. But he was the one that took the mark.

Kreacher placed a small hand on Regulus' shoulder. The elf had a rather comforting presence. Kreacher had always been there for him. He genuinely cared about Regulus, unlike Father, who needed an heir, or Mother who seemed to have something to prove after her first born...turned out how he did. The only ones in that house who cared about Regulus had been Kreacher and Sirius. And Kreacher hadn't stopped caring. He gently patted his shoulder, and made soft shushing noises until Regulus stopped crying. "Kreacher knows. Kreacher knows. Kreacher was having to drink the potion too, and the Dark Lord was forcing him to drink it all very fast. It made Kreacher see things, but now Kreacher knows they were not real. It is okay, Master Regulus."

But it had been real. That was exactly the problem. It had really happened all those years ago. If only it'd been a bit more real. Real enough for him to change it. Real enough that Sirius would've heard him, and came back, and pulled him into a hug like he used to, before Regulus screwed everything up.

Kreacher handed him the goblet with the potion. "This is the last one, Master Regulus." Finally. It was almost over. He downed the potion as quickly as he could. It burnt even more, and he needed water. That was all he could think about. Water. His eyes scanned the cave for it. Surely there was water somewhere other than the lake? The lake scared him. His eyes fell on Kreacher, and he remembered his mission.

"Kreacher, the locket. You have to...you have to take it, and…" he began coughing from the pain in his throat "...and destroy it. Put...put this" he fished a smaller locket out of his robe. "In the...in there. And then leave. Get out of here."

"Yes, Master Regulus." The elf's voice shook a little as he acknowledged his master. Regulus watched as the elf reached into the basin to swap the lockets. Perhaps it was just his imagination, perhaps Regulus was simply that desperate for someone to miss him, but Kreacher seemed reluctant to leave him there.

"And Kreacher?"

"Yes, Master?"

"Do not--ever--tell the family." His voice sounded firm, harsh even. He didn't like to be harsh with Kreacher, he hadn't meant to. But it'd be too risky if anyone knew.

"Even the blood-traitor?" Regulus thought to correct him, to tell him that Sirius was not a blood-traitor, and that he was the best of all of them. But he didn't have it in him to say all that much.

"Yes, even Sirius." He felt his eyes water but refused to let himself cry. Again.

After Kreacher apparated away, Regulus imagined Sirius finding out what he'd done. Finding out that Regulus' life hadn't been a total waste, that he'd done one good thing, even if he'd been a horrible person for eighteen years. He wasn't imagining his brother being proud, or even forgiving him for all those years. But if Sirius could just know that his brother had changed. That he wasn't Mother's puppet anymore, and he thought for himself. It was a nice idea, but Sirius could never know. He was in enough danger fighting in the Order of the Phoenix. (Why would he risk his life like that? Because he's not a coward like you.)

Regulus looked down into the lake. The water was pitch black, as if it had something to hide. And it did. Inferi. That was what Kreacher had told him. His heart was beating fast. Regulus thought it was a little late for his self-preservation to kick in. He tried to calm it down, but his brain had started going a mile a minute, trying to comprehend that this really was the end, and no, Regulus wouldn't do anything to stop his own death. He would...what was it Beedle had said? "Embrace death like an old friend?" Well, he wasn't quite there. He was more just...accepting what he knew he deserved.

Now how best to do it. He could just step into the water. Or he could at least try and drink some first, to soothe the burning in his throat. Why not?

He kneeled down on the edge of the stone, cupped his hands, and reached into the water. He pulled his hands out, and before he could take a drink, a wet, slimy hand clasped around his wrist. Right on time. He grinned at the thought, the casual nature of it. It was something Sirius would say. His brother was a wonderful idiot, who could joke his way through danger. That was his last coherent thought. After that, his mind was a constant stream of panic, fear, and regret, while he felt the hands, thousands of hands, drag him beneath the water. He kicked, and tried to resist. In a moment of pure panic, he'd completely forgotten this was part of the plan.

And then Regulus Black died. Or he thought he did. He woke up somewhere...white. That was all he could see at first: endless white. He realized the pain in his arm, as well as his throat, was gone. He held up his arm to look at it. There was no cut, but far more surprising, there was no Mark. He examined his arm for a moment, and then he realized he was naked. There was no one around, but he felt rather uncomfortable with this realization. If only there were some clothes in this...whatever this is. As soon as he thought it to himself, a dark black robe, much like the one he'd been wearing, appeared hanging from a tree. When had the tree appeared? He made his way over, and pulled the robe on. He inspected the tree. It was familiar, but he couldn't place it. The rest of his surroundings seemed to be slowly filling in as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. There was a hill with another tree, some bushes, a small pond, and several flower beds. The answer struck him suddenly. He was in Grandmother's garden. Did that mean Grandmother was here?

Suddenly a voice, one that was decidedly not his grandmother's, spoke from behind him. "Regulus Black." He whipped his head around, and there was Death. His face covered by his dark hood (Did Death even have a face?), and his scythe in hand. He realized he was gaping at the man (Man? Person? Thing?) and he promptly shut his mouth. He dismissed the voice of his mother inside his head about etiquette and being proper.

"Hello." It seemed to be a rather anticlimactic thing to say at a time like this, but he didn't exactly have any experience in this situation.

"Hello Regulus. I'm sure you have many questions, feel free to ask." Death was very polite, and rather...straightforward. He'd always supposed Death would be confusing, or talk in riddles, like his former headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

"Uhm, thank you. Well, I assume I've died…"

"Not yet."

"Oh. But...I'm about to?"

"If you want to." What does that mean? He took it all back, Death was exactly how he was in stories.

Death laughed, deep and full. Oh Merlin, can he read my thoughts? "Excuse me, um, sir, but can you…"

"Yes, I can." Regulus felt his face flush. "Don't worry, you're not the first to think that."

"Right, well then. What exactly do you mean by 'if I want to'?" He realized that probably sounded fairly rude. "...sir." He added lamely. Mother would have a fit if she saw this.

Death seemed to have the courtesy not to laugh at every stupid thought that came into Regulus' mind though, and he simply answered the question. "Well, the interesting thing is, that you, Regulus, have unfinished business, which means-"

"I could become a ghost." Regulus finished. Nice going genius, you interrupted Death. Now you're gonna get yourself reincarnated as a billywig.

Death let out a snort, which he badly disguised as a coughing fit. Apparently, Death thought Regulus was an idiot. That makes two of us. "Yes, you can become a ghost."

"But going on is braver, nobler. Right?" Regulus had talked to the Baron about it in his third year when Grandmother had died. Where is she, anyways? This is her garden after all.

"Some do say that. Some also say that it would depend on the nature of your business." Regulus had to admit there was logic in that. What was his unfinished business? Destroying the horcrux? It must be. "As far as your grandmother, I assume you mean Melania Black?"

"Yes." Regulus had never been close with his maternal grandmother, but he'd spent so many holidays at Black Manor with his father's parents, Melania and Arcturus. Before her marriage, Melania had been a Macmillan. She had been the only Slytherin in a largely Hufflepuff family, and had always sympathized with Sirius. Regulus had been close to her, too. They would work in her garden together, something that Regulus enjoyed, but couldn't normally take part in because it wasn’t "befitting of his stature” according to Mother and Father. And when they visited the manor, their grandparents would always make sure their parents weren't too hard on him or Sirius, and he'd always felt safe at the Manor. He assumed that was why he saw her garden when he died. Or didn't die. Or whatever it was.

"Melania was planning to come greet you, until we took notice of your unfinished business. Those cases are somewhat rare, so I take them myself. We don't want anyone you knew in Life trying to sway your decision." His decision. He wasn't ready to make a decision yet.

"I'd have thought unfinished business would be a bit more common than that." He's gonna know you're stalling.

"Oh, to some level it is, but it's hardly ever enough to justify returning as a ghost."

"Oh, right. I guess that makes sense."

"And Regulus…take as long as you need. It's an important choice, and time...well, it doesn't exactly work the same here."

"Of course it doesn't." Regulus muttered. Leave it to Regulus Black to get fed up with the afterlife.

A ghost. Huh. It made sense. And it could work, too. He could ask Kreacher to fetch him books, and instruct the elf on how to destroy the locket. He could maybe even...no.

No he couldn't. If the Dark Lord thought Sirius had any idea of what Regulus was trying to do, or how he'd died, Sirius would be killed. No, not killed. They'd turn him over to Bella. No, he decided, telling Sirius would put him at too much risk. So why did Regulus still want to?

Cause you're a selfish jerk who thinks that you somehow deserve love after all the terrible things you've done.

Maybe after all this is over though...

Yeah, because he'd be so happy to see you again? He's better off with Potter, get that through your thick skull.

The voices in his head were at war with each other once again. Or maybe he was at war with the voices? He remembered suddenly that Death could hear all his thoughts, and tried to stop the cacophony in his own mind. He glanced toward Death, and was grateful that the hood covered his face. He didn’t want to see the pitying look on Death’s face. Regulus Black did not need anyone’s pity.

"I'll go back. I- I have a plan." Regulus tried to sound confident. He had no room to be nervous, there were more important things to do. Suddenly, he noticed his body starting to glow, there were dozens of beams of light coming out of it.

"Farewell, Regulus." Death was waving at him.

"Farewell, Death." Regulus replied, because he was a Black, and had been taught manners. And then, because he was a Black, and dramatics was in his blood, he added "I have a Dark Lord to kill."

The beams of light seemed to explode out of him, and there was one last flash before the garden was gone.

He was back under the water, but seemed to be breathing just fine. No wait...he wasn't breathing at all. It seemed he didn't need to. He willed himself to move, and he slowly rose out of the lake. Now he just needed to talk to Kreacher. His mother was still at Grimmauld. He'd have to come up with someplace else to meet with his house-elf. All in good time. He thought. And for the first time in ages, Regulus felt hopeful.

Chapter Text

December, 28 1980
7:38 P.M.
The Potter’s House

Sirius Black looked around his best mate’s kitchen at his friends, no, his family. They’d only ever said as much out loud a few times, and usually only when Sirius’ mother was sending particularly nasty letters, but these boys, these men, were his brothers. The word stung for a brief second in his mind. How would he feel if he heard you say that? But Sirius pushed that out of his mind. He wasn’t going to think about him tonight. Besides, he had known how Sirius felt about all that long before he died, long before Sirius left. And he felt the same way.

“You’re no brother of mine. Not after you left me.”

Those words didn’t hurt as much as the cold voice that had spoken them, empty of all emotion...no, he wasn’t going to think about it.

But had he really left? Surely not. He’d been kicked out. He hadn’t had a choice in the matter. Unless you could call that a choice, which he didn’t. He had the feeling his mates would have agreed with him, had he told them about his other option. But it wasn’t the sort of thing he wanted to talk about so soon after, and eventually people stopped asking.

James would say this “wasn’t healthy”. James said that a lot of things weren’t healthy.
“You should talk to your sister, Evans, that doesn’t sound healthy.”
“You can’t pull an all-nighter for N.E.W.T.s, Moony, it’s not healthy.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Pete, that’s not healthy.”

And that’s all well and good for James, who grew up in the most “healthy” household Sirius had ever seen. But when you grew up with Orion and Walburga Black’s...parenting style, you weren’t all too concerned with healthy habits. Agrippa’s sakes, he’d told himself he wasn’t going to think about it. He needed a firewhiskey. He tried to ignore the James-like voice of reason in his head, telling him for the umpteenth time that that wasn’t healthy, but his rebellion was ambushed by the real James.

“Earth to Padfoot? Cup of tea?” He was wearing a concerned look, the one he usually reserved for when Sirius disappeared into his own head for too long.

“Oh, yeah sure, mate.” He ignored James’ raised eyebrows, because, no, he did not want to talk about it thank you very much. Nine years of friendship will do that to you. James and Sirius could both read the other like an open book. A blessing and a curse. He knew his other friends all very well, but no one quite on the same level as James. He and James just...got each other. It was odd, as they’d all known each other the same length of time. With the exception of Lily, who Sirius had barely talked to prior to fifth year. That is if you exclude the few pleasantries and homework discussions everyone wound up having with their housemates. And if you don’t count that one incident on the first day, which Sirius didn’t, as it hardly counted towards friendship.

He shook himself out of his thoughts yet again. (He could’ve sworn it wasn’t this bad at dinner. But of course, he’d had the conversation to distract him then.) His eyes searched the kitchen, as if looking for some distraction from his thoughts. It was a few days after Christmas, and they’d all gathered at the Potter’s house. James and Lily’s, that is. It still felt odd to think of them as “The Potter’s” maybe because that title would always belong to Fleamont and Euphemia in his mind. Merlin, he missed them.

His other mates (also since first-year) Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin were washing and drying the dishes, while James made them all tea, and Lily tended to her and James’ five-month-old son, Harry. He himself had simply plopped himself down at the kitchen table before realizing there were any dishes to be cleaned or work to be done. It was a habit of his that Mum and Dad Potter had somewhat extinguished when he was living with them. He reckoned it came from growing up with a house-elf, even if the house-elf was a nutter.

“Don’t call him that, Sirius!”

Ever-loving Merlin above, could he get no peace inside his own head? Fortunately, at that moment, Lily walked in with Harry. Was that concern on her face? He needed friends that didn’t know him so well. Or friends with less-detailed calendars. Honestly, it probably hadn’t even happened on this day last year. It was just a year since they’d heard the news. And it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing that was being published in The Prophet, it could’ve happened weeks earlier. Besides, Lily of all people should understand how he felt about that idiot.

He held out his arms for the child. “Can I hold him, Lils?”

“Of course you can, Sirius.” Lily smiled as she handed him her baby.

Now, Sirius did not consider himself to be soft by any means. He wasn’t the type to find babies or kittens or what-have-you “cute.” Sirius Black was punk rock, and would duel anyone who claimed otherwise. That being said, his godson, Harry James Potter, was the sole exception to this arbitrary rule which governed Sirius’ life.

“Hey there, Harry.” He cooed. He made sure he was cradling his head like Lily had shown him. “How’s it going, bud?” Of course, Sirius wasn’t expecting an answer, but the concept of baby-talk had never made much sense to him. He hadn’t really encountered any babies before Andy’s daughter, seeing as he was only one when Reg--Merlin, he was everywhere tonight wasn’t he? Perhaps receiving that news a year ago had affected him more than he cared to admit.

He focused his attention back on Harry. The boy had a lot of hair for only being at five months, but he shouldn’t have expected any less from a Potter. There was a reason Fleamont had gone into the hair-potion industry. It hurt a bit to think of him too… Anyways, the Potter genes had certainly won over in Harry, with one notable exception. He had the bright green eyes of Lily. Just about everyone who saw the baby commented on it. Sirius, Remus, and Peter had, of course, picked up on it immediately. You don’t spend three years listening to your best mate wax-poetic about a certain girl’s “sparkling, emerald green eyes” (James’ words, not his) and come away with nothing.

His mind wandered to the prophecy that they’d all heard about from Dumbledore. It couldn’t be about Harry, could it? He hoped against all hope that it wasn’t. Dumbledore wouldn’t tell them the exact wording of the prophecy, which was infuriating. Even more infuriating was that he wouldn’t explain why he couldn’t tell them.

Harry let out a small, baby-yawn, which Sirius had to admit was rather adorable. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily smile as well, and then glance at the clock.

“Well, it looks like it’s someone’s bedtime.” She announced to the room.

“Oh you’re right.” James answered. “Well, thanks for stopping by Moony, we’ll be seeing you.”

Sirius smirked, and handed Harry back to his mother. He let out a laugh when he noticed Remus flicking the dish towel at James, who narrowly dodged it.

“Git.” Remus muttered under his breath.

Lily sighed, trying to hide her own amusement. “You boys are never planning on growing up, are you?”

“Why in Godric’s name would we do that, Evans?” James teased, with his signature smirk in place.

Lily quirked an eyebrow “It’s Potter now. I’d think you would have remembered.”

Sirius almost snorted at the look on his best mates face. “Merlin, Prongs are you blushing? You’ve been married to her for a year, how are you still such a dork?”

But before James could tell anyone how he had managed to remain such a dork, the tea kettle whistled, and Harry began crying. Lily sighed, and they could hear her trying to sooth him as she made her way upstairs.

James began pouring the tea. "You've been quiet tonight Wormtail. What's on your mind?"

Peter seemed rather shocked at being addressed. Perhaps he, like Sirius, had drifted into his own thoughts. "Oh..erm, nothing really."

Sirius couldn't help but commiserate. James was his best mate, but he could get rather over-protective. He wanted to look out for all his friends, and sometimes seemed like a bit of a mother-hen. Which isn't all that bad, but does get exhausting from time to time.

"Watch your sleeves, Pete." Case and point. "They're sopping wet, roll them up for Godric's sake!"

Normally, they all would've teased James for turning into his mother, but Sirius thought that would have been rather uncomfortable for everyone. One glance at Remus showed that he felt the same. Euphemia Potter had recently passed away, a mere four days after her husband, Fleamont. They had both had dragon pox, and the healers had informed James, who had informed Sirius, that it would likely be fatal at their age. Their entire circle was shaken by the loss, though it hit James and Sirius the hardest. James, because they were his parents, of course. And Sirius because...well, it was complicated, but they'd been like parents to him too.

"They're just sleeves, James."

"It's a nice sweater! Besides, it's December. We can't have you catching a cold, especially not with a baby around, and you wouldn't be able to come to Order meetings, and what if you have to skip a mission, and something goes wrong, and-"

"James, you're catastrophizing." Good old Moony, always the voice of reason.

"But I- yeah, I suppose you're right, Moons."

"Isn't he always?" Sirius put in. For all James' protectiveness, the Marauders still needed some sanity and stability in their lives, and this was usually where Remus, and later Lily, came in. They all had roles in their group, and yet none of it was set in stone. You could always tell when one of them was missing, the dynamic was always off. But it was hard to pinpoint how. They just kept each other grounded. They--Sirius could think of no other way to explain it--clicked.

James returned to fixing the tea, and they began talking about the quidditch match they'd caught on the wireless earlier that afternoon.

"I'm telling you Pads, all the Wigtown fans are bandwagon"

"That sounds like something a sore loser would say."

"Not true! Honestly, had you seen a single person wearing a Wanderers scarf three months ago?"

"Prongs, nobody was wearing scarfs at all three months ago."

"Whatever, Moony. All I’m saying is, no one cared about them until they beat the Magpies, and then the Wasps, and made it to the near top of the league."

"Calm down, Jamie, you wouldn't care whether or not they were bandwagon if they hadn't beat the snot out of Puddlemere today.” Sirius teased. James was a huge Puddlemere fan. He’d wanted to play for them, and there was a scout at one of their games in sixth year. As it turns out, James couldn’t stand around and play quidditch while the rest of the world fought a war, and he ended up turning them down. “Frankly, I think they shouldn't have drafted that new beater,” Sirius continued, “he seems more the type to play for the Cannons if you know what I-"

"Oh, Godric, I just can't take it anymore!" James interjected, clearly frustrated.

It was a rather sudden outburst, and Sirius was somewhat taken aback "Well, that's what you get for supporting Puddlemere, I guess..."

"No, I was talking about Wormy's sleeves!" Sirius couldn't help but sigh. Of course he was. Remus however, was laughing at him.

"You're still on about that?” Remus shook his head as he spoke. “It's his sweater. If he wants to ruin it that's his prerogative."

James however, didn't listen to Remus, and was reaching out to roll up Peter's sleeves.

He jerked his arm away "Let it be, James!"

And suddenly, Sirius was alert. There was something all too familiar.

A hand. An arm. A sleeve.

He had an odd feeling of déjà vu.

The charms corridor, seventh year.

His own hand, reaching out, and an arm, a left arm, this time not in a sweater, but a school robe, flinching away.

“Leave me alone, Sirius!”

Before the owner of said arm walked out of Sirius' life for good.

He was halfway to Peter before he realized he'd stood up at all. He did that a lot--acting without thinking. At the moment he was running on pure adrenaline. All he knew was that there was a threat. That Peter was a threat. He had thought Peter was one of them. A Marauder, a brother. The voice in his head was back. You’ve lost another brother to their cause.

No, he couldn’t think like that. Something was threatening the only family he’d ever known, and he had to protect it. He did his best to remove all emotions from his face, and with what he hoped was a calm demeanor, (but most definitely was not) grabbed Peter by his arm. He later realized that obviously James and Remus must have reacted, but his mind had not registered it in the slightest. Because all that existed was him, Peter, and what he knew was under this sleeve.

He yanked up the sleeve, and saw it. He had been so certain it would be there, and yet he found himself a bit taken aback by it. Peter had really done it. Sirius glared at his forearm, and glaring back at him was a red skull and snake that he had seen-in this case bright green-in the sky far too many times. It reminded him of failed Order missions, all the times they’d shown up too late to save anyone. It reminded him of Grimmauld, and all the gruesome decorations that were supposedly “heirlooms.” It reminded him of his cousin, Bella--no, call her Bellatrix. She’s not your cousin anymore--who had proudly shown off her own mark at a family gathering at Black Manor. His stomach twisted, as he remembered the fear on his baby brother’s face that day.

He pointed his wand in Peter’s face. (When had he taken his wand out?) “You! You’re the one who- who-”

“Sirius, calm down.” He could detect the bitterness in Remus’ voice, and knew it was taking everything for him to keep calm himself. He glanced quickly behind him, and saw Remus and James both had their wands drawn.

“Calm down? He joined them. I bet he’s been spying on the Order, I bet-- I bet he’s the reason- the one who leaked the prophecy! I-- How long?”

Peter attempted to pull his arm away, but Sirius held tighter. "I-- I don't know who-- who leaked the proph-- prophecy, I...I just--"

Sirius tightened his grip, his nails digging into Peter's arm. "How. Long?" He demanded.

Peter seemed surprised by the question. “What? How...How long?”

“Yes how long! How long have you been one of them? Since we were in school? Since graduation?” A horrible thought struck him. “Were you one of them when Reg-- when they--”

“No! No, just-- just since September.” The traitor answered, as if that somehow made it better.

“You...you…” Sirius was searching for a word, when the irony in the situation hit him full force. “You rat!” and he laughed. It was a short bitter laugh, with no real humour behind it, but James must’ve sensed the danger in it, because he put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder.

“Sirius, why don’t you send Dumbledore a patronus. I’ll go check on Lily and Harry.” He sent a cold stare at Wormtail, as if to say that his wife and son had better be alright, or there’d be hell to pay. Sirius vaguely wondered if Wormtail could read James’ expression as easily as he could. “Remus, have you got this under control?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ve got it.” There was no emotion in his voice, nor on his face. Remus’ wand had never left Peter, and he hadn’t stopped watching him either. When threatened, Remus Lupin was nothing if not focused.

James and Sirius left the kitchen together, Sirius heading outside, while James went upstairs.

He didn’t need to be outside to send the patronus, but to be honest, he wasn’t sure if he’d been breathing since he saw that mark. He hesitated when picking a memory. Everything he thought was happy just reminded him of what he’d lost, or was in danger of losing.

“You have to focus on the memory itself.” He remembered Professor Abott telling them. “You can’t think about how things have changed, or how you’ve lost what you once had. That’s focusing on now. You have to focus on then.”

He sighed, and thought of his seventeenth birthday. The Potter’s owl landing on the Gryffindor table. The small box, with a golden watch in it, from Mum and Dad Potter. The letter where they said they loved him, and he was like a son to them. He finally conjured the large dog, and when he remembered his message for Dumbledore, he felt the anger fill him again. He wasn’t entirely sure what he had said, only that it was a bit informal, and likely contained more swearing than a message to his former-headmaster should.

James Potter had a lot of questions. They were all swirled together in his mind, and he couldn’t tell where one question stopped and the next began. He had a lot of questions, but should he be given the chance to ask them, he’d hesitate. Because he had no idea what his questions were. He supposed for the most part they all boiled down to “why?” and “how?” Not to mention he couldn’t stop thinking about the prophecy Dumbledore had mentioned. He thought about these questions in the short reprieve from the action as he rushed upstairs to his wife and child. He reached the nursery door, and nearly yanked it open in his haste.

He heard Lily laughing “Slow down, Jamie. I only just got him calmed down after the kettle went off.” What? Oh right, the kettle. Lily clearly hadn’t heard what had been going on downstairs (they had charmed the nursery to muffle outside noise) and the kettle must have just gone off a few moments ago for her. But for James the kettle had gone off years ago. Since the kettle had gone off, James’ world had flipped on its head.

“Lily, it’s not safe-- there’s a traitor, the spy, the one in the Order, it’s…” He noticed the panic creeping into her expression. He hated to see her worry. He didn’t want to see her hurt, and didn’t want to tell her the news, more because he couldn’t admit it to himself. But this was Lily. She was the strongest person James knew. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “It’s Peter.”

"Peter...is...the spy?" She seemed confused, and hesitantly glanced to James for confirmation. He nodded. "And...he's in our house! Oh, Merlin!" She rushed over to the crib, where Harry was sleeping and began muttering protective spells over it. "Alright, we need a plan."

"Sirius is contacting Dumbledore, and Remus has him at wandpoint in the kitchen." He could almost see gears turning in Lily's mind, trying to figure this out.

"Can he transform?" Oh, darn. Could he?

"I...I don't know. Maybe? Remus will take care of it I'm sure. He knows what he's doing. Listen, if you stay up here with Harry, and I could just..."

"James Potter, I am more than capable of holding my own! Or do you think I won't be able to take care of myself?" Didn't she get it?

"Lily, I know you can. But all the same, I'd rather you didn't have to. Dumbledore should be arriving soon, he always gets here fairly quick. He'll just slip into Hogsmeade to apparate, and then… then everything will be fine. Okay?" He needed her to stay safe. Lily was so strong, and she wanted to be out there fighting. She'd only just started taking Order missions again, but had insisted, along with Alice Longbottom in the months after both their deliveries, that she was perfectly fine, and would love to whip some Death Eater butt.

"Oh, alright James. But if I hear anything-anything-out of the ordinary, I'm coming down. Clear?"

James sighed. He knew this was non-negotiable. "Clear."

She stood up on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Be safe. I love you."

"I love you."

Remus Lupin held out his wand, as he looked into the eyes of his former-friend. It felt too sudden to consider him a former-friend, and yet here he was, considering him one. Peter's hand was moving towards his robe pocket.

"Don't even think about it." Peter seemed startled by the firmness in Remus' voice. People tended to be. Remus isn't the sort of person you'd expect to be firm, unless you knew him well. Very well. Even Marlene and Dorcas had been surprised that he joined the Order, despite him being top of their class in Defense.

He hadn't had much confidence in himself, but the Marauders had changed that for him. They had helped him so much. Even Peter, who now stood before him as a traitor. He would've been so lost at Hogwarts without them, and he'd always thought the others felt the same. But Peter clearly didn't. He summoned the wand, wordlessly, because he thought his voice might break, and caught it in his left hand. And then a thought occurred to him. Peter, like James and Sirius, was an animagus.

"Incarcerous!" The cords sprung from his wand and tied Peter up. But Remus wasn't sure if the spell would do the trick. He remembered reading about a spell to prevent animagus transformation, but couldn't recall it for the life of him. He could stun Peter, of course, but first he wanted an answer to what he'd been wondering since he saw the mark.

"Why'd you do it? The past nine years...Did it all mean nothing to you?" He desperately needed an answer, but his voice remained even, and didn't betray him.

Peter raised his eyebrows. Remus could tell he knew. He knew how badly Remus wanted an answer. Peter would use this to his advantage, if he had any sense of self-preservation. He was going to dangle the knowledge over Remus' head, and milk every last second he had.

"Moony, you have to understand…"

"Don't call me that."

"Remus, please. James and Sirius could never understand, they're just glory seekers, but you…"

"Forget it. No more talking." Remus didn't care to hear Peter's thoughts on James and Sirius. They were in this war for the glory? They'd joined the Order for glory? Sirius fought against his family for glory? To say nothing of the prophecy threatening James and his family. James and Sirius just weren't like that. When had Peter started seeing them as Snape did?

They stood in silence for a bit, Remus continued to debate if he should stun Peter. Obviously he should, he just needed to ignore his emotions and curiosity. Then Peter spoke up again.

"He's making a better world, Remus." Remus scoffed. A better world for who?

“I think Lily would say differently.” He retorted. Keep your emotions out of this, Remus.

“And what about you? He wants to join forces with your kind. He said that Fenrir Greyback-”

“Stupefy!” Way to keep your emotions out of it. He thought bitterly, as he looked down at Peter on the kitchen floor. It was only after Peter had collapsed that Remus had realized that he might have been about to surrender useful information. He had heard that name, and reacted.

“Nice shot, Moons.” He turned. Sirius was standing in the doorway, wearing that dry-smile he always wore at times like this. Sirius Black would smile and laugh while the world fell apart around him. Not because he was an upbeat and positive person, but because he didn’t like to let on about what he was really feeling. He never said, but Remus suspected it had to do with how he was raised. Then, as if reading Remus’ mind, Sirius added “Don’t worry. I reckon that was a load of dragon dung. He was just having you on, hoping you wouldn’t, well, stun him.” Remus nodded. He had visited a few werewolf communs since joining the Order, and most of them didn’t want to be involved in the war. But some of them were a bit more...wild. Savage werewolves like- “That name sounded familiar though.” Sirius interrupted his thoughts again. “Fenrir Greyback he said? Where’ve I heard that before?” Sirius muttered the name to himself, trying to place it.

Remus cleared his throat. “He’s the reason...Well, that is to say, he- he’s the one who...y’know” he gestured awkwardly at his face, and the scars that ran across it. He was still shaken from Peter’s words. Since when has Peter referred to werewolves as “my kind?” He hated how uncomfortable the subject made him. Peter’s opinions shouldn’t carry this much weight, not after what he’d just revealed. And yet…

Sirius looked down at his boots. “Oh yeah, right. Sorry mate, I didn’t mean to sound like a git.”

“What? No, you’re fine. I didn’t talk about it much, obviously. I mean, back when you guys found out, Dad hadn’t even told me how it really happened.” Remus had tried to resent his dad when he found out, he really did. Lyall Lupin had insulted werewolves in front of Fenrir Greyback, and one thing led to another. Remus was four years old. But his dad had realized, after Remus had been bitten, that he was still the same boy he’d loved for the past four years. And when Remus learned what his dad had done, he eventually found himself thinking along the same line, though it took him a bit.

Sirius Black came back inside to find Peter talking to Remus.

“He wants to join forces with your kind.” If Sirius had any doubt that Peter had changed, and frankly, he did, this abolished it. “Your kind?” Was this really the same Peter who became an animagus for Remus? The same one who had reassured Remus on countless occasions that he wasn’t a monster? Who had argued with Professor Selwyn in fifth year, for being so close minded about werewolves? “He said that Fenrir Greyback-”

“Stupefy!” Remus stunned him, and he fell to the floor. He felt his mouth curl into a bitter smile as he looked at Peter’s unconscious body. You deserved that.

“Nice shot, Moons.” Remus turned around. He seemed a bit worried. Maybe he thought he’d missed out on some useful intel, but Sirius figured Peter had been bluffing, and he told Remus as much, before making an utter prat of himself by forgetting who Fenrir Greyback was. Remus, of course, being Remus, said it was fine.

“Back when you guys found out, Dad hadn’t even told me how it really happened.” Sirius remembered the night they confronted Remus about his secret, and he seemed to feel sympathy towards the mysterious werewolf who had bitten him. And he remembered Remus getting on the train when they started seventh year. Something had been off about him, and they had badgered him enough that he gave in and told them that night in the dorm. He knew things had gotten better between Remus and his dad, they’d apparently talked things out over the Christmas holidays of that year. Remus had always had a fairly good relationship with both his parents, something Sirius rather envied. He had had the Potters though, for a few years.

When he ran away from home at sixteen they took him in. Mr. Potter was an expert potioneer, who helped tend his bruises and cuts, and Mrs. Potter made sure he was well fed, because he was "thin as a rail" and "a growing boy" And thankfully, at least for that night, they didn't ask too many questions. Not because they didn't care, but because they (unlike James, who, to be fair, was only sixteen himself) knew Sirius wasn't ready to talk about it. But he found a home with the Potters. They were like a second set of parents to him, which had made grieving them so complicated. He couldn't decide who had lost more. James, who had lost his biological and only parents, or him, who had lost his second set of parents. His found-parents. The ones who wanted him.

He cleared his throat. “I sent the patronus to Dumbledore.” It was quite obvious that he had, as he’d returned to the house, but he had to say something. Sirius had had quite enough of the inside of his head for one evening.

“Oh, good. I expect he’ll be here soon.” There was nothing in Remus’ voice.

“Yeah probably. You know Dumbledore.” Remus nodded. There was an odd feeling in the room. As if he and Remus weren’t really having this conversation. They were just saying what they knew they ought to say.

James Potter entered his kitchen again to find both his best mates there, and Peter lying unconscious on the ground. A crazy thought entered his mind. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help but wonder.

“Is he just stunned, or…?” They all knew what the “or” meant, but none of them said it aloud.

“Just stunned. Remus did it.” Sirius answered quickly. None of them wanted to dwell on the “or.” It was too complicated. But no one had anything else to say, so they stood around the kitchen, pretending they weren’t thinking about the “or” as the silence grew louder.

Of course Remus wouldn’t’ve done it. Remus was rather sensitive to the idea of being a killer due to his condition, and he was logical enough to see the benefits of using Peter for information.

If given the chance though, would he have done it? Maybe if Lily or Harry were in danger, but James didn’t think he was the type to do it without cause. What about Sirius? He glanced at Sirius, and found the man looking back at him. Both tried to keep their expression neutral, but James could tell what Sirius was thinking, and Sirius must’ve known what he was thinking. And they’d been wondering the same thing about the other.

He felt like a dreadful friend for thinking it, but he reckoned Sirius might’ve done it. If he thought he was protecting the others. Or maybe if he had some cause for revenge, on a personal level, which he didn’t, as Peter had joined long after Voldemort had killed Regulus.

It had been a year to the day that the Order had learned of Regulus’ death. At the time he was reported missing, but the Death Eaters had spread the word that Regulus had tried to back out, and had paid the price. Sirius claimed it was all just to scare the new recruits. He said Regulus wouldn’t have backed out, and if he had he was even stupider than Sirius thought. James hadn’t known what to say at the time, and he still didn’t. He tried to be there for his best mate, but when it came down to Regulus, Sirius would usually only talk to Lily.

At this point James figured they were all rather uncomfortable in the silence, but no one could bring themselves to break it. Eventually, a large silver phoenix swooped into the room, and spoke in the voice of Albus Dumbledore.

“On the way. Heading into Hogsmeade to apparate now. Stay together, and stay safe.” Perhaps James was imagining it, but the phoenix seemed to turn and look at Sirius. “Please refrain from taking any drastic measures.”

Then he heard Lily from the staircase. "James? Is that Dumbledore?" He glanced at Peter on the floor, and sighed. He supposed it was safe. He was just being over-protective, is all.

Lily Potter kissed her husband on the cheek before he went downstairs again. “Be safe. I love you.”

James said “I love you.” back and then disappeared out of the nursery. She supposed she couldn’t do much about this. She removed the muffling charms from the room, so she could listen to what was going on downstairs without having to leave Harry. She had cast a fair amount of enchantments on the crib, and she knew they were strong, but it still wasn’t enough to satisfy her maternal instincts.

Was Peter really the spy? She couldn’t believe it. Those boys had been as thick as thieves growing up, to imagine any of them turning on the others like that was nothing short of sacrilege.

And what about the cause itself? Lily doubted Peter actually believed in the pure-blood movement. He had always been kind to her, and didn’t seem bothered by her blood-status, or Remus’ lycanthropy. He probably just wanted the protection the other side had to offer, not that this was any consolation. They could’ve protected him. Besides, Lily didn’t think the other side was really all that keen to protect each other.

They’d found out last year that Sirius’ brother, Regulus, had been killed, supposedly for trying to back out of the Death Eaters. The Order wasn’t like that, Peter didn’t have to be in the Order, if he didn’t want to. Another one of their friends, Mary, hadn't joined. She supported the cause, of course, being a muggleborn herself, but the Order is risky, and the front lines aren’t for everyone. None of them were against Mary because of it, though. Surely Peter had to have noticed that, right?

Harry rolled over in his sleep, and she walked over to the crib. She hated to think about the prophecy. It was all so complicated. Prophecies had weird loopholes, and could create paradoxes, it hurt her brain. She told herself it was all so complicated, and it might not mean what they thought it meant. In the face of danger, though, with a supposed friend downstairs who’d turned on them, the prophecy suddenly felt all the more real.

She tried to listen downstairs but still couldn't hear anything. She'd told James she'd come down if she heard anything out of the ordinary, and the long silence definitely seemed to fall under that category.

She leaned over to kiss Harry on the forehead. "Mummy'll be right back." She grabbed her wand, and headed into the hallway. She slowly made her way down the stairs, careful not to make any noise. She didn't think there was much of a threat at the moment, but one could never be too careful.

She felt as if they were in an odd limbo between danger and safety while they waited for Dumbledore to arrive. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard the old man's voice. She couldn't make out the words though, the headmaster had never been all that loud. When the voice stopped, she called out. "James? Is that Dumbledore?"

"It was his patronus, Lily. You can come on down." Lily walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around James, burying her face in his chest. "Hello there." She could hear the smile in his voice, as he wrapped her in his arms. She hmm-ed in response. He smelled like...well, James. She couldn't pick out what exactly, she'd just grown used to the smell. He was just...James. Her James. She hadn't acknowledged it when she was upstairs, but now that he was safe she admitted to herself just how worried she'd been. She felt a few tears on her cheeks. She felt him gently kiss the top of her head. "How's Harry?"

She pulled her head back to look up at him. "Sleeping. When will Dumbledore be here?"

"Soon. He sent the patronus right before he left for Hogsmeade."

She nodded. "Good." It was then she remembered the other Marauders were in the house and glanced around the room. Sure enough, Remus and Sirius were there. And Peter was unconscious on the floor.

"Remus stunned him." Sirius supplied, almost the moment her eyes rested on Peter.

There wasn't much to be said. Or rather, there was far too much that needed to be said, and none of them knew where to start. There were too many unknowns. The room descended into deafening silence once more.

Chapter Text

December 28, 1980
8:15 P.M.
The Potter’s House

Remus Lupin stared into his empty mug, as if it could explain that night's events to him. He wasn’t one for divination, but he placed some stock in it after finding out his parents had seen a naming seer when his mum was pregnant. Because of course they had. He’d rather not think about it. Divination meant The Prophecy. He always thought of it like that. Capitalized. It wasn’t a prophecy, it was The Prophecy.

They’d been sitting around the kitchen table, drinking their tea, which had gotten rather cold, although none of them had the heart to mention it. And they were all decidedly not looking at Peter’s unconscious form a few feet away. Remus was wondering how it could’ve ended like this. He wasn’t entirely sure what “it” was, but something had ended. His childhood? Long over. Greyback took care of that one. Their friendship? James and Sirius would lose it if they knew I’d even thought such a thing. The Marauders? That was it. The Marauders were over. He loved James, Sirius and Lily like family, but they weren’t the Marauders. James, Sirius, himself, and of course, Peter, were the Marauders. It shouldn’t matter, he tried to tell himself. It shouldn’t matter that you don’t have all your old school mates still together. But it did. Remus realized then, what he’d always known, but never said. It seemed so obvious back then, that he hadn’t felt the need to say it.

“The Marauders were more than just school mates.” He hadn’t planned to say it out loud, but once he did, his chest felt a bit lighter for a moment, before twisting itself back into a knot.

There were several nods around the table. Even Lily seemed to understand that there was something more to their friendship, and Lily had only seen what they had wanted her to see for the first five years.

“Mischief managed.” Sirius muttered. Remus and James nodded. It seemed to be the only thing left to say. And now that it had been said, the table fell silent again.

Remus saw both his mates had tears in their eyes, and suddenly realized he did too.

James’ voice filled his head. Thirteen-year-old James, that is. “I’m not crying, Moony! Marauders don’t cry.” James had said that on several occasions, and Remus had always rolled his eyes. Go ahead and cry, James, he thought. There are no Marauders anymore.

There was a crack of apparition outside, but no one else seemed to notice. It must have been outside of earshot for all of them. Once in a while, lycanthropy had the smallest upsides. It wasn’t anywhere near worth it, of course, but he’d learnt to take advantage of those moments when they came along. He stood up, and all the heads turned to look at him.

"Dumbledore's here." He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, he wanted to maintain his calm demeanor when they were discussing things with Dumbledore. He wasn't succeeding. He was increasingly nervous as he walked to the door. It's just Order business. It's just Order business. It's just Order business, Remus told himself. But in the back of his mind, a voice echoed back: No it's not. No it's not. No it's not. He took several deep breaths before opening the door.

"Good evening, Professor." Albus Dumbldore was standing on the front porch, in a long, purple cloak.

"Ah, Remus. How many times have I told you to call me Albus? You are, after all, an adult now. I feel rather old when grown men call me 'professor.'" There was an amused glint in his eyes, and he had the oddest hint of a smile. Doesn't he know what's happened?

"Right, erm, Albus. Come on in, then." He ushered them through the front door. "Everyone's just in the kitchen, right through here." It was rather odd to be leading the way through someone else's house, but of course, all the Marauders spent a fair amount of time here (Back when we were the Marauders, Remus thought.) and he knew the place like the back of his hand. They entered the kitchen, where everything was much the same as when Remus had left. No one had bothered to move. Peter was still unconscious on the floor. “He’s here." Remus announced to the room. They all had heard him at the door of course, and muttered their greetings to their former headmaster.

Sirius was rather straight to the point "Well, he's right over there, the coward." He stood up and gestured at Peter. "He's not...Remus just stunned him is all."

"I see." Dumbledore spent several moments in thought, stroking the end of his silvery beard. "And how did you all come to this conclusion?"

"Do you mean before or after he openly admitted to it?" Sirius snarked. James gently placed a hand on Sirius' elbow, and Sirius slowly sat back down. James was the only one who could calm Sirius down, most of the time.

Dumbledore seemed unfazed by the outburst. "Preferably before, Sirius. How did the topic come up?" He posed the question to the room, before looking to Lily and Remus, as if he wanted one of them to answer. Remus noticed Lily leaning forward with curiosity. James must not have told her about this part.

"He had a mark on his arm." Remus volunteered. "His left one. The same one they always cast into the sky when…" Remus trailed off, not sure of a polite word to use for what they did. Perhaps there just isn't one.

"When they've murdered someone, yes." Remus was alarmed by the casualty with which he spoke about it. "I believe that this mark serves as a communication method as well."

“A communication method? You- you know that for certain, sir?” James asked, hesitantly.

“Indeed I do.” Dumbledore responded, “I had it on very good authority that-” But he didn’t finish, because Sirius had shot up from his chair again.

He pointed an accusatory finger in the old man’s face “You knew! And you didn’t think to tell us? You didn’t think this information could be useful? We, and the rest of the Order are out there risking our neck’s, and you can’t even keep us informed?”

“I was not aware,” Dumbledore began, seemingly unfazed by Sirius’ anger. “How best to utilize such information.”

“Utilize?” Sirius was outraged, and Remus and Lily both turned to James, silently asking him to do something.

James’ tried, but it was rather half-hearted. Remus could tell he was on Sirius’ side. “Sirius why don’t you…” James was saved having to think of what Sirius should do, because his best mate cut him off.

“No!” The room quieted at the sudden interruption. “No, this is exactly like the prophecy! You don’t get to just...hold all the cards. You can’t really expect us to keep following you blindly, can you? That’s what they do. And we’re supposed to be different than them.”

There was a loud silence, and they all turned to Dumbledore. Intentionally or not, Sirius had certainly implied something. No one knew how the professor would react, and watched him as if he were a bomb about to go off.

“Perhaps,” He began, calm as ever, “We shall return to the matter at hand?” It was so like Dumbledore to remain calm in a situation like this, and they continued on.

Not much else of consequence happened that evening. They each recounted their view of the events, with a rather stiff politeness from Sirius, and then Dumbledore levitated the body out the door, and apparated away.

They sat in the kitchen for a few moments, before Lily suggested they all head to bed. Remus was thinking he’d just floo home, but Lily insisted he stay in one of the guest rooms.

“And that goes for you too, Sirius. I’d rather we didn’t...I think we should all stick together after this evening.” Remus nodded. He wasn’t too keen on staying the night, as he felt like he was intruding, but he had to admit he wanted to keep his friends close tonight. “Well, I suppose that’s settled then, we can sort things out in the morning. I’d show you to your rooms, but I reckon you know your way around by now.” It was true, he and Sirius had spent an awful lot of time at the Potter’s, as did Peter, though he hadn’t been around much lately. Gee, I wonder why? He tried to tell the little voice in his head to stuff it, so he could get a good night’s sleep. Remus was exhausted, but he could already tell he’d be up most of the night. Just him and his thoughts.

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
12:56 A.M.
The Potter’s House

Sirius Black woke up to an odd feeling in his torso. It felt...cold. And damp. As if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over him. He rolled over, and noticed there was someone else, in the room, sitting on his stomach. No, he’d just rolled over. Rather, they were sitting…in his stomach. And the person was oddly familiar. He blinked several times, trying to adjust his eyes to the dark room. The person, a young boy, was emitting a soft, green glow. He had dark hair that looked as if it should be dripping wet, thin scratches across his neck, and familiar stormy-gray eyes. He recognized those eyes immediately, they were his own eyes. He knew someone else with those eyes, but they were dead. But the boy looks more like him than you. It must be his imagination.

“Leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep.” The boy, or whatever it was, seemed rather taken aback by this.

“Well, of all the reactions I expected, I must say that was most certainly not one of them.” Merlin and Agrippa, he even talked like Regulus. All posh, and intellectual, and whatnot. The boy floated up a few inches, and the chill Sirius felt lessened.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re supposed to be Regs- Regulus.” Sirius corrected himself, it was a bad habit he was trying to break since joining the Order. He didn’t want to have any emotional attachment to his family, he knew most of the Order already didn’t trust him, thanks to his blasted ancestry.

“Supposed to be?” Not-Regulus, as Sirius was internally calling him now, raised his eyebrows.

“Well I don’t know, this is all just a dream, or maybe you’re my bloody conscience or whatever, since I’ve been thinking about him all day.”

“Or I’m a ghost.” Not-Regulus suggested, and he was almost...smirking. Sirius sat up and considered this. It would explain how he was talking to his supposedly-dead brother. It would explain that odd chill he felt. But why in Godric’s name would Regulus become a ghost?

He said as much, and Not-Regulus (who might actually be Regulus) replied. “Unfinished business.” He waited, but the self-proclaimed ghost did not elaborate.

“Well?” He pressed

“Well what?”

“Well, are you going to tell me what your ‘unfinished business’ is?” He was rather irritated now, it was so like his brother to be all secretive and cryptic. When did you start thinking of this...spirit...thing as actually being your brother?

“Eventually.” Regulus answered. He’s not Regulus! “When I think it’s safe to trust you with that information.”

“You don’t trust me? I’m not the Death Eater here.” The so-called ghost, who may or may not be Regulus, flinched at the words, and Sirius almost felt bad. Almost. It was the truth, wasn’t it?

“Neither am I. Technically. I’ve...resigned.” There was something in Regulus’ eyes--even if it wasn’t Regulus, they were decidedly his eyes--that seemed out of place. Like it shouldn’t be in the eyes of an eighteen-year-old boy. He was tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, all of it. Perhaps it was this that made Sirius ask his next question a bit more gently.

“And how exactly did you resign from the Death Eaters?”

The ghost gestured at his body, or lack of one. “I died.” He said simply. If only it really were simple. Regulus--Sirius was having a hard time doubting it was Regulus after seeing the look in his eyes--must have registered the shocked look Sirius was wearing, because he continued “Only way out.” Sirius was surprised at the casualness. Then again, Regulus had had a year to get used to being dead. Then again, Sirius had also had a year to get used to Regulus being dead, and he wasn’t quite at the calm acceptance that Regulus had reached.

“It can’t have been the only way out,” Sirius tried. “You could’ve come to me, I’m in the Order, surely there must have been something-”

“I didn’t trust the Order. Specifically not Albus Dumbledore. I still don’t trust him, that’s why I’d rather hold off on telling you about...everything.”

“Well, I can’t say I trust him much myself, I may have, erm, shouted at him a bit earlier.” He was still rather embarrassed about the outburst, and though he knew he was in the right, wasn’t ready to share the details with his brother.

Regulus smirked. “You? Lose your temper?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Shut it.” He murmured.

“No, really, I’m intrigued. Of all the people, Albus Dumbledore? Sweet Salazar, how’d that even happen?” Sirius thought Regulus was enjoying this far more than he should.

“Honestly, Regulus, I’m not awake enough for this.” Granted, Sirius didn’t think he’d be able to fall back asleep any time soon. He groaned, and got out of bed. “I need some coffee. You want any?” He started for the door.

“Gee, I don’t know Sirius. Do I look like I want some coffee?” He turned around, and saw his brother smirking at him.

“What? Oh, yeah, the ghost thing.” Regulus looked rather judgemental at that. But hey, what else is new? thought Sirius.

“Yes.” He said slowly. “The...ghost thing.”

“Look, I’ve had a long day. Now be quiet in the hallway, Harry’s sleeping.” At Regulus’ confused look, Sirius added “The baby. James and Lily’s son.” Realization dawned on Regulus’ face, and he nodded.

Sirius slowly crept down the stairs, Regulus floating behind him. He walked into the kitchen, and over to the coffee maker. “Feel free to...sit down I guess.”

Regulus floated over to the kitchen table, and sat right in the middle, with his legs crossed.

“I meant more like...nevermind, you can face Lily’s wrath yourself.”

“Doesn’t really matter much. Y’know, cause of ‘the ghost thing.’” He had a rather cheeky grin on his face, one Sirius didn’t remember seeing there when Regulus was alive.

“Merlin, you’re insufferable, you know that?” He was rifling through the kitchen cupboards by wandlight, trying to remember where James kept the coffee.

“Maybe. You missed me though.” Sirius hit his head on the cabinet he was examining, and Regulus snorted.

He turned to face Regulus. “Did not.” He lied. Regulus raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t!” Sirius insisted, despite the fact that he totally did. He doesn’t need to know that, though.

As he was pulling out the coffee grounds he’d finally located, Regulus sighed. “Whatever you say, Sirius. But...you did mention you were thinking about me all day. On the anniversary of my death too. I’m very touched.”

“How bout you just shut up?” There was no real venom in the words though. Then Sirius paused, thinking. “Wait a moment...the anniversary of your death? Was today really…?”

“Yup.” Regulus answered. Sirius was once again surprised by how casual he was about the whole ordeal. “Reckon it’d be yesterday by now though. It’s late. Or early.”

Sirius couldn’t explain why this came as such a shock to him. Maybe because he’d had a feeling all day, that he couldn’t quite place. This information shouldn’t have changed anything, but it did. He began pacing around the kitchen, anxiously running his hands through his hair. His voice was rapid and frantic, for reasons he couldn’t put his finger on. “I…I mean, we heard about it today, but I never thought, I don’t know, I thought it’d been weeks before. I thought I’d found out rather late.” Too late he thought. “Merlin, today, huh?”

It was a rather surreal thing to have a conversation about, and there was an odd atmosphere in the kitchen. “Yeah, doesn’t change much though.”

“I guess not.” Sirius shrugged, and went back to making the coffee. He wasn’t entirely sure how to make conversation with a ghost, specifically his estranged brother, so he just said the first thing that popped into his head, because he was Sirius Black, and that’s what he did. “Are you going to celebrate?” Regulus looked at him as if he were speaking Mermish. “Your death day, I mean. Nick always would. I thought maybe it was a ghost thing.”

“Oh. Well, no, I didn’t...have anything planned.” Regulus answered, awkwardly. He probably had bigger concerns.

Sirius continued rambling, because he didn’t like the silence between them. “You should celebrate. You only get one first deathday. That’s a big milestone. Probably. I wouldn’t know.” Sirius knew there must be a reason his brother had finally come to talk to him after a whole year of being a ghost, and he figured it had to do with something much bigger than Regulus’ first deathday. However, he wasn’t entirely sure how to bridge the gap to that particular topic.

He rolled up his sweater, which he’d slept in, so he could fill the coffee pot at the sink, and was reminded of what had unfolded in this kitchen hours previously. Sweet Merlin, has it really just been a few hours. “Regulus,” He began carefully. “Do you- have you got...something on your arm?”

Regulus sighed, and rolled up his left sleeve, and there was an image that must have at some point been the same as Peter’s. Regulus’ however had a slice through the skin, that Sirius suspected would be bleeding profusely if Regulus were still alive. Had that been how he’d died? “How much do you know about it?” Regulus asked.

“Well, it’s...it’s what they put in the sky after the raids. And all the Death Eaters have one, Bellatrix did. And you can...communicate with it?” It occurred to Sirius that he hadn’t actually confirmed Regulus’ loyalties before telling him essentially everything the Order knew about the odd tattoos. He’d taken his brother at his word, because he saw the helplessness in his eyes, and heard the way he’d talked about the Death Eaters. Not to mention the slice through his tattoo. Aside from that, it just...felt familiar. It felt like old times, when the two of them had still been close, and those few moments they’d shared at school when they’d actually let their guards down around the other.

Regulus nodded. “Well, that’s not too far off. The symbol is called the Dark Mark, and most of us have them. If he gets wind that the Order’s found out about it, he’ll probably stop branding the spies. And probably the students.” The word students hung in the air. They both knew Regulus had still been in school when he joined. There’d been that conversation--their last conversation. Sirius reaching for his arm, and not even realizing what it meant when Regulus suddenly flinched away. Regulus continued before the silence lasted too long. “It turns black when he wants to summon us. It burns too, if you try to ignore it. We can summon him too, but no one tries unless they’ve got a really good reason."

Sirius nodded, not really sure how to reply.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps, and they both froze. Remus walked in, with a wand illuminating his face. The circles under his eyes were darker than usual, and he had changed into a set of old pajamas. "Sirius, it's one A.M. Who are you talking…?" He stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Regulus. "...to."

Regulus Black rather liked sitting on tables. Even if he wasn't technically sitting on it, there was just something about being up on a table. It was oddly comforting. Sitting on tables isn’t the sort of thing that was considered proper, and he hadn't done it growing up, but since becoming a ghost, it'd become a habit of sorts. Perhaps he enjoyed the rebellion of it. Not that he'd mention that to Sirius, as his brother had a very different, more extreme, sense of "rebellion" and would probably laugh at him.

He was contemplating this as he sat on the Potters' kitchen table, before Sirius' voice interrupted his thoughts. "Regulus," he sensed Sirius was rather anxious about the question he was going to ask. "Do you- have you got...something on your arm?" He should've expected this. He'd been watching Sirius and his friends for a while, trying to figure out if any of them were the traitor. And he'd seen from the window that Pettigrew's Mark had been revealed. He rolled up his sleeve, to show his own Mark, as well as the slash he'd made across it. "How much do you know about it?" He asked.

Would Sirius even trust him? Would he willingly tell him how much information he, and possibly the Order, had?

Surprisingly, Sirius continued to explain everything he knew about the Mark, and when he finished, Regulus filled in the gaps for him. "If he gets wind that the Order found out about it," He began, hoping Sirius would realize Regulus himself would not be the one to surrender this information. "He'll probably stop branding the spies. And the students."

He knew Sirius was thinking the same thing he was. That Regulus himself had been a student. He knew his brother remembered the way he flinched away when Sirius reached out to grab his arm that day in the charms corridor.

He eventually broke the silence, and began explaining the communicative properties the Mark carried. When he finished, his brother nodded, and then there were footsteps in the hallway.

A man about Sirius' age walked in, holding a lit wand. Regulus recognized him as Remus Lupin, one of his brothers' schoolmates, and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He was wearing a rather worn set of pajamas, and he looked--not that Regulus was one to judge--dead on his feet. He had dark circles under his eyes, along with several scars running across his face. He'd had scars like that in school, too.

"Sirius, it's one A.M. Who are you talking…to." he must have suddenly caught sight of Regulus, because he immediately stopped, and awkwardly finished his sentence.

Regulus looked at Sirius, then back to Lupin. They all continued looking around at each other, before Sirius spoke up.

"You'd best take a seat, Moony. Coffee?"

Lupin seemed rather frustrated that Sirius would offer him coffee at such a moment. He must have had several questions, and couldn't decide what to ask, which led to a good few seconds of whispered stuttering. "What? Sirius what's going on? Is that Regulus? What...I mean how...I mean...is he...a ghost?"

"Not bad, Lupin." Regulus said, smiling at the man. "You certainly figured it out much quicker than this one." He nodded his head in Sirius' direction.

Sirius let out a heavy sigh, and rubbed a hand over his face. "That's not helping, Regulus." Then to Lupin: "Did we wake you?"

"No, I- I wasn't able to fall asleep." Regulus privately thought the man probably hadn't slept in a week. "I only heard you guys cause of…" he trailed off, and exchanged a meaningful look with Sirius. Now what could that mean? Regulus wondered.

Sirius busied himself with the coffee machine before Lupin spoke up again. "Sirius, what exactly is going on here?"

"Now isn't that the question." Sirius responded. Regulus didn't know what Sirius hoped to accomplish by this, but it made Lupin rather upset.

"What in Merlin's name does that mean?" He snapped, probably louder than he'd intended, because he immediately winced at the volume. Sirius went to answer, but Lupin held up a finger to silence him. After a few seconds, he whispered "Darn. Harry's up. You better have a good explanation to give when I get back down here."

How on earth could he have heard that?

Sirius swore under his breath. He turned around to face Lupin. "I've got Harry. Why don't you stay here, and Regulus can fill you in on what he's told me. Which is nothing by the way." Regulus decided to ignore the look he knew Sirius was giving him. Lupin looked like he wanted to argue, but Sirius was already on his way out of the kitchen.

Regulus watched Lupin for a few moments, trying to figure him out. He suddenly remembered something Severus had pointed out about the boy. He'd dismissed it at the time, because frankly, he didn't care, and didn't understand why Severus did.

It fit though, the disappearances he'd heard people talk about when he was in school. All the trips to the hospital wing. The scars. And hadn't Sirius just called him Moony? And that certainly would explain his hearing.

Lupin seemed to notice him staring and asked "Can I help you?" His tone was rather cold. He probably wasn't too keen on Regulus randomly showing up at his mates' house in the middle of the night. Which was understandable.

Now, Regulus probably could have voiced his realization in a much more polite manner. But he was rather shocked by this discovery. So he simply stared back, and said "You're a werewolf."

Remus Lupin didn't think he'd ever so much as talked to Regulus Black, but here he was, in the Potters' kitchen with the boy's ghost. He was focused on the slow dripping of the coffee machine when he got the feeling he was being stared at. He turned towards the table Regulus was "sitting" on, and sure enough, the ghost was staring at him. No, not at me. Remus knew that look. He's looking at my scars. He was tired of people staring at his scars. Don't they realize it's rude. But what was more concerning was that despite barely encountering the boy at school, he knew one thing about Regulus Black. Regulus Black was smart. Definitely smart enough to figure it out. And it didn't help that he'd spent most of his school years in close proximity to Snape.

Against his better judgement, Remus spoke up, trying to keep his voice calm. "Can I help you?" Well, that sounded downright rude. His guilt only lasted a moment though, because in response, Regulus said what was on both their minds.

"You're a werewolf."

Remus thought about blatantly denying it, but he wasn't the best liar when he got nervous. Besides, anyone smart enough to figure it out wouldn't fall for some half-baked excuse. Ultimately, Remus decided to just accept it.

"Yeah." He muttered. "How'd you know?"

Regulus shrugged. "Just put a few pieces together. Realized Severus' theories weren't as stupid as they'd sounded. The hearing was what got me wondering. I take it Sirius and Potter already know?"

Remus nodded. "And Lily. And...Peter."

Regulus gave him a sympathetic look. "I saw some of what happened. From the windows. Sirius didn't mention it, but...I'm not one of them anymore."

Remus nodded. He still hadn't decided if he trusted Regulus, and he wasn't going to without some kind of proof. However, he had a feeling Regulus had proof, and was for some reason waiting to provide it. Well, I don't reckon it'd be the easiest thing to talk about.

"And…" Regulus continued. "I'm sorry for anything I said about you in school. I was...kind of an idiot. My family wasn't the best, but I suppose that's not much of an excuse, especially not when Sirius wound up so different."

"Well then." Remus replied. "I have to say, I had been expecting more...negativity about my being a half-breed."

Regulus rolled his eyes at that. "Well first off, I'd never be so uneducated as to refer to a werewolf as a 'half-breed.' There's no actual breeding involved, lycanthropy is spread through infection, not genetics. And I can't see where the half comes from, as you're only a wolf approximately one night a month." Remus fought a smile. Regulus had said this all very fast, but the next bit he delivered sloweer, as if he were stepping into unfamiliar territory, which he might be. "And second of all, well...given the amount of things I've come to realize Sirius was right about in the past few years…" he trailed off, but Remus understood what he'd been trying to say, and nodded.

"Don't tell him that, it'll go to his head." Remus joked.

Regulus laughed. "I wouldn't dream of it, Lupin. He's insufferable as it is."

Remus chuckled. "You can call me Remus, you know, I call you by your first name." It felt odd to extend the invitation. His doubts about Regulus had slowly vanished (Mad-Eye wouldn't be too pleased with me.), but all the same, the two of them weren't exactly close. So few people called him by his surname though, it felt odd to hear it.

"Well, that's because there are two of us." Regulus told him. "You couldn't very well call me Black."

"True. Still, though, call me Remus."

Regulus seemed to give in. "Alright then. Remus." He seemed to be thinking to himself, before turning to look at Remus. "Naming seer?" He asked.

Remus blushed, and anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick he'd developed. "Um, yeah. Is it that obvious?"

"Only if you know what to look for."

"Right.”

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
1:17 A.M.
The Potter’s House

Sirius Black tried his best not to wake James and Lily on his way upstairs. The two of them had barely gotten any sleep since Harry had been born, and after everything that happened tonight, they must be exhausted.

He walked into the nursery, and found Harry stirring in his cot. He placed his lit wand on the dresser, and walked over. "Hey, Prongslet," he whispered, scooping up the infant. He paced around the room with Harry in his arms, gently bouncing him, and talking to him in a hushed voice like he'd seen James do. "Can't sleep either, huh? I was sleeping just fine until Reg woke me up. You know he used to do that when we were kids, too? Well, of course you wouldn't know, you're just a baby. But still." Harry was leaning against Sirius' chest, and was clenching his sweater with his tiny baby fists. "Yeah. He'd always sneak into my room and wake me up when he had nightmares. Not that I blame him for it. It's hard not to have nightmares in that house, and it's not like he could go to our parents about it. I mean, y'know how they were." Of course, Harry actually didn't know how his parents were.

"Harry, not all parents are like James and Lily. Those are your parents. And they love you so much. Most parents are like that, I guess. But mine and Reg's weren't. That's how come I left. I came to live with James and…" Sirius felt a lump form in the back of his throat at the memory of the Potter’s. "...and your grandparents. You'd've loved them, Harry. I couldn't tell James this, cause I always told him that I didn't care about my family, and that him, and Remus, and Pete were my real brothers” He frowned, remembering what they’d learned about Peter earlier. “so I never told James that those first few weeks…" Merlin, was he crying? You're Sirius Black, you don't cry! "Those first few weeks, I missed Regs so much. Thought I'd never see him again. Stupid, I know. We went to the same sodding school, but..." He trailed off, lost in thought. "There were a lot of times where I thought I'd never see him again. Most notably when he died, but I guess that didn't stop him either, huh?"

Then he heard an incredulous voice from the doorway. "Excuse me?" Oh, joy. Lily's up. Out of all the ways to break the news to Lily, or anyone really, this was not how Sirius would have chosen to do it.

“Oh, hey Lily. What…” Sirius had no idea how to navigate this conversation. “what brings you here?” This was decidedly not the best thing to say, because Lily fixed him with a glare.

“I heard you through the baby monitor. I thought you might want someone to talk to, since today is the day that Regulus...that we found out he had disappeared.” Sirius noticed that she’d stopped herself from saying that it was the day Regulus had died. Sirius had always forcefully maintained that Regulus had already been dead for weeks when they got the news, and it had started a few arguments between himself and his friends when they first found out, with him being as stubborn as he was. He snapped himself out of his thoughts, and noticed Lily was still talking. “...came in here, and heard you say that you’d...seen him again?” The last bit was a question, and Sirius nodded.

“Yeah. He’s a ghost. He said he needed some help with his...unfinished business, or something like that. I- Maybe just...get James? And Reg can explain it to all of us? Remus is already down there, I don’t think anyone’s gonna get much sleep.”

Lily nodded, and seemed to be at a loss for words for a few seconds. Sirius didn’t meet her eyes, because he didn’t know what he’d see there. He moved to put Harry back in his crib, when Lily said “Can you take him downstairs, actually? He needs a bottle.”

Sirius looked from Lily to Harry, confused. “How can you tell?” He wondered.

“Mother’s intuition.” Lily said, with an enigmatic smile that was oddly reminiscent of Euphemia Potter. Lily lowered her voice, conspiratorially. “Plus, between you and me, he’s always hungry around this time of night.” Sirius let out a short, half-hearted laugh, and they both headed to the door.

Before she turned down the hallway, Sirius placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She turned around. “Thanks for...understanding.” Understanding wasn’t exactly the word, but he couldn’t think of a better one.

Lily smiled, but Sirius could see she was just as confused and exhausted as he was. “Of course, Sirius.”

Remember when the worst sibling drama we had came from passive-aggressive letters? Sirius thought, as he walked downstairs again, with Harry in his arms.

He entered the kitchen to find Regulus still floating above the kitchen table, and Remus pulling the cream out of the refrigerator. “Can you grab a bottle for this one, Remus?” Remus handed him the bottle, before shutting the fridge. Sirius zapped it with the warming charm that Lily had taught him, and started feeding Harry. He turned to Regulus “James and Lily are on their way down, so you can explain whatever’s going on.”

“Oh good.” Regulus stated dryly. “I’m sure they’ll both be thrilled to see me.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “C’mon Regs, don’t be like that.”

“Oh, please even you weren’t happy to see me.” Sirius was surprised there wasn’t more emotion behind those words. Then again, Regulus had always been fairly guarded.

“That’s not true! I was just...confused.”

“Confused about how I’d be stupid enough to show up?”

“What? Quit acting like a teenager, Reg.” Sirius immediately regretted saying that.

Regulus was staring at him, his face cold. Sirius had hit a nerve. That’s what you get for speaking without thinking. “I am a teenager, Sirius. I’m always going to be a teenager.”

James Potter was woken up by a voice on the baby monitor. He lay in between sleep and waking for a few moments, before he got ahold of himself and listened to what the voice was saying. It was Sirius, he realized. “...sneak into my room and wake me up when he had nightmares. Not that I blame him for it. It's hard not to have nightmares in that house, and it's not like he could go to our parents about it. I mean, y'know how they were." James wondered who Sirius was talking to. He very rarely talked about his parents, and only with select people.

James leaned over to his nightstand and picked up the monitor. He yawned as he spoke, still a bit groggy from sleep. “Lily, d’you know who he’s-”

“He’s talking to Harry.” He realized Lily was standing up, and pulling on her bathrobe. Sirius kept talking over the baby monitor, but it faded to background noise in James’ mind.

“Where’re you-” he began, but Lily cut him off.

“I’m just gonna make sure he’s okay. You know how hard it was for him, finding out about Regulus last year. Besides,” Lily paused to let out a large yawn. “I reckon Harry needs a bottle.” Lily was at the bedroom door, when she turned around. “Turn the monitor off, James.”

“What? Oh, right.” He clicked the monitor off, just as he heard Sirius mention Mum and Dad. Lily left, and James was alone with his thoughts.

He really missed his parents. It wasn’t the sort of thing he had seen coming. When he joined the Order, he’d made sure their house was safe, and put all sorts of protections and wards on it. Even with the wards, he and Sirius were both worried the Death Eaters could still get to them.

Which is why neither of them had seen Dragon Pox coming. There had been several months where they were hospitalized while Lily was pregnant. He wasn’t sure if they’d pull through, but the healers’ weren’t hopeful. It was less to do with the disease, and more to do with their age. Their immune systems just couldn’t fight it anymore. His parents had been a bit older when he’d been born, so maybe he should’ve expected that they would die when he was young.

He’d hoped they’d at least be able to meet the baby, but they’d died three months before Harry was born. He remembered when they found out. He hadn’t felt like himself. He was quiet, and didn’t make jokes at Order meetings, and barely paid attention to the quidditch matches on the wireless.

It’s too late for this. He tells himself. What time is it anyway? He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. One-twenty-three. Definitely too late for this, then. Or early, rather. He rolled over, and tried to fall asleep. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Sirius. Did this really have to happen just one year after everything with Regulus? Of course, it’s better they knew about Peter sooner rather than later, but Sirius had already been a bit distracted by what day it was, he didn’t need all this nonsense on top of it. No wonder he’d been frustrated with Dumbledore.

James might’ve drifted off for a few seconds, because suddenly Lily was gently shaking his shoulder. “James, come on. You have to get up. We need to talk about things.” James moaned, and rolled over. Haven’t we just established that it’s too early for this? “It’s important, James. I don’t know how, but...Regulus’ ghost is downstairs.” Well that had certainly gotten his attention. He sat up.

“What? How?” He demanded.

“I don’t know, Sirius said something about unfinished business? That’s all he told me. Remus is already up, and Sirius is taking care of Harry.”

James made an unintelligible noise, which he thought summed up his feelings far better than any words could. “Alright, let’s see what this is about.” He forced himself to get out of bed, and he and Lily made their way downstairs. They heard voices as they approached the kitchen.

The first voice was clearly Sirius’. “You know I didn’t mean it like that, Regs.”

“Quit calling me Regs, I’m not fifteen. Just because that was the last time you cared about me-” The second voice was less familiar, and must have been Regulus.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Then Remus spoke up. “Can’t you two just-”

“No. We can’t.”

“Whose side are you on, Moony?”

“I-” But apparently Sirius didn’t really care what side Remus was on, because he continued.

“Now what in Merlin’s name do you mean by ‘the last time I cared about you’?”

“Why don’t you figure out what it means, if you’re so smart and mature.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry for calling you immature, but I’m not the one showing up in the middle of the night, making cryptic statements about my own death.”

James and Lily exchanged a shocked look at that, both of their eyes wide.

“I know you don’t want me here!”

“Who said I don’t-”

“I know, okay? I know you’ve got your perfect life, with your ‘real brother’ James sodding Potter, and I know the last thing you wanted was for me to show up and ruin that, so why don’t you just help me, and I’ll be on my way.”

James hadn’t expected his name to get dragged into this, and suddenly felt guilty. Lily squeezed his hand just as they reached the kitchen door. They walked in on Sirius, clearly anxious, running a hand through his hair while he paced. Near him there was a young boy, who looked a little like Sirius, floating a few inches off the ground, and emitting a greenish glow. James assumed this was Regulus. Standing in the corner with Harry, giving him a bottle, was Remus. He gave James a weak smile, but seemed to be the only one who saw James and Lily enter.

“I-- Regs, Regulus,” Sirius corrected himself. “I can’t even begin. How could you think I don’t-- Nevermind, I just...you have to at least tell me what you need help with. I need you to tell me something. And then we can talk about whether or not you’ll be on your bloody way.”

“That’s a bit of a double standard, Sirius. Did you ‘talk about it’ with me before you left?”

The conversation was going in a dangerous direction, and Lily must’ve noticed it too, because she spoke up. “Excuse me!” Sirius and Regulus both stopped and turned to look at Lily. “We have some things to discuss. Why don’t we all sit down, and be civil?” The last bit was a posed as a question, but no one could be stupid enough to think it was optional.

They walked over to the table, and Remus handed Harry to James. James wondered how Harry had stayed calm through all of that. He began to ask Remus, but Remus must’ve known what James was wondering, because he cut him off. “Muffliato charm. I could tell things were about to...escalate. Knowing how Sirius gets about...everything with his family.”

“Right. Say, you didn’t happen to turn on the kettle, did you?” If James didn’t get some caffeine in him soon, he was fairly certain he would die.

“Pads made coffee.” Remus offered.

“I love him.”

Remus laughed. “Don’t let Lily hear that.” More like don’t let Regulus hear that, apparently. James had no idea that Regulus was...what? Jealous? Was that even the right word? It all felt so complicated. He shifted Harry in his arms, and walked over to the table, to sit between Sirius and Lily. He avoided looking at Regulus, because frankly, the kid confused him. They’d all sat down, aside from Remus, who was pulling some mugs out of the cupboard, and Regulus, who was just floating near the head of the table.

The ghost turned to where Remus was pouring coffee, and politely said "I won't be having any, thank you, Remus."

Remus laughed, "Well, I'd figured that much out."

Sirius leaned back in his chair to look at the counter. "You've got an extra mug there, mate."

Remus looked at the mugs he'd set out and did a mental tally. "What? No, it's for…" he stopped suddenly, realizing his mistake. "...Peter." he whispered.

The room got quiet, and then Regulus cleared his throat. "Maybe we should start there? I...don't exactly have all the details about how it happened."

Sirius sighed, clearly tired of retelling the story. "Well…" He began.

Should we even tell him this? James wondered. "Hold on." He interrupted. "Are we sure we can even trust him? Last I heard he was a Death-Eater."

Lily placed a hand on his shoulder. “James,” was all she said, but he knew what she was trying to convey.

Sirius turned to him, and tried to be reassuring. "He defected, James. Trust me it's fine."

But that wasn’t good enough for James. “How do you know he’s telling the truth, though?”

That seemed to irritate Sirius, because he said, rather frustrated, “I just know, okay? I can just tell.”

“So you don’t think it’s a little odd that we had a spy in the Order, and as soon as we find out, your brother shows up to take his place?” He hadn’t meant it to come out that way, but it just felt like too much of a coincidence.

Lily reached into his arms and silently took Harry from him. She was whispering to the baby, trying to calm him. Did I upset him? James felt bad, ironically enough he had just been trying to protect his son.

Sirius was offended now, and was dangerously close to shouting. “Take his place? Take his place? James, do you really think Regulus would…”

“Do we even know if it is Regulus?” James was just trying to be cautious, but it came off rather aggressive.

Sirius nervously tousled his hair. “Well, I- I’m pretty sure, I mean he…” But Sirius trailed off, lost in his own thoughts. What could that mean?

James gave him a look. “Pretty sure?” He asked.

Sirius was clearly starting to panic, and Lily leaned over, to rest her hand on his. “It’s okay, Sirius, we’ll figure this out.” Lily had such a calming presence. James figured he probably should’ve let her take the lead on this, as she was really the only one Sirius mentioned his brother to. “We have ways of proving if it’s him.” She was speaking gently, but had the entire table’s attention, because she was simply like that…perfect, James thought. She was perfect. “Now, obviously we can’t give him Veritaserum, but you could maybe ask him something? Something only Regulus would know.”

James looked at Sirius’ face, and realized he seemed even more nervous. Maybe he’s scared that it’s someone else.

Chapter Text

December 29
1:33 A.M.
The Potter’s House

Sirius Black was panicking. There was a knot in his stomach, and it was twisting tighter as everyone around the table stared at him. “Something only Regulus would know.” If only it were that easy. They hadn’t talked in three years. Sirius really didn’t know his brother all that well. And you’ve got no one to blame but yourself, said the voice in his head, which he wished didn’t sound so much like Regulus. He felt Lily squeeze his hand, and tried to calm himself down. He took a deep breath. You can do this, he told himself, you spent your entire childhood with him. He was blanking on it, though. He avoided looking at Regulus, in case his brother caught on that Sirius didn’t know anything about him. One question popped into his mind, but he couldn’t ask that, could he? Everyone was looking at him, he could feel it. So he just asked the question.

“What did I say to you...the night I left?” He bit his lip. Why’d he ask that? He already hates me for leaving, why’d I have to go and remind him what a jerk I was? As much as Sirius wanted the ghost to be his little brother, he didn’t want to hear those words come out of his mouth.

Regulus’ voice quivered for a moment, before he seemed to get his emotions under control. “You- You said that you’d see me on the train...and that you...hoped I was happy, and that you couldn’t stay. And you asked was this what I’d wanted.”

Sirius looked up at his brother, and immediately regretted it, his face looked almost void of emotion, and he had that distant look in his eyes. He was anxious though, Sirius could tell. He always fiddled with his sleeves like that when he got nervous. Sirius thought about that night. How he’d almost said something else, before he chickened out. Maybe if he’d just said it, just told his brother… He’d always said it wouldn’t have made a difference, but now he thought it just might have.

He shook himself out of his thoughts, and nodded at James.

James seemed satisfied with who it was, but still didn’t trust Regulus. “And how do we know you’re on our side?”

Regulus rolled up his sleeve again, to show the slice through his Dark Mark. Sirius privately thought it was a tad dramatic, but that ran in the family.

James’ eyes widened. “That’s the symbol that...that Peter had.”

Regulus gave a single nod in his direction. “As you can tell, my...loyalties have changed. I did something to fight back before I died.”

Sirius was struck by the gravity of the situation. He’d known Regulus had been dead for a year now, but since talking to him as a ghost, his brother had revealed that it had been...on purpose. That didn’t sit well with him. He wasn’t pleased with his baby brother running off and joining the Death Eaters, but the idea that Regulus had...what? Taken his own life? Walked to his death willingly? Was one worse than the other? Regulus had said that he didn’t trust the Order, but what about himself? Did he think Sirius would turn him in? Would you have turned him in? he wondered.

“Reg, what...what exactly...happened to you?” Sirius asked.

Regulus hesitated, and then said, “I...I really do want to tell you, Sirius, I just...if I tell you that, I have to tell you...other things, and that would...well, you’d want to inform Dumbledore about those things, and...”

“And you don’t trust him?” Sirius finished.

Regulus sighed, “Not particularly, no. I have a few reasons, but mainly, I think he already knows what I found out. Or he suspects it. But he hasn’t done anything.”

“Well, what if he has?” Lily offered.

“We’d know.” Regulus answered with surprising certainty. “It...it would change everything if he’d done something about it. This entire war would just be...on a level playing field for once. We’d know, I’d know if he had bothered to do something.” The table was silent, as they all thought about what this could mean. “This entire war”...“a level playing field”...“But he hasn’t done anything.”

Sirius looked around the table. He made eye contact with James, and could tell immediately the two of them were on the same page. Then James turned to Lily. Sirius realized something, something he’d probably known for a long time and hadn’t thought about. James would choose a different path if it meant keeping Lily and Harry safe. Sirius couldn't quite grasp how he felt about that, and tried not to dwell on it for the time being.

He looked to Remus, who was avoiding his gaze. Remus trusted Dumbledore, and not just with his life. He trusted Dumbledore with his soul. In Remus' eyes, Dumbledore kept him from hurting a student, kept him from becoming the murderer he was afraid to become.

Sirius cleared his throat, and spoke up. "I think it's at least safe for us to tell you what happened tonight, Reg." He glanced around the table, looking to one of his mates to explain, before realizing that he was the one who'd suggested it, so that responsibility fell to him. "Well, we had just had dinner…" and he began to recount, for the second time that night, how they had discovered Peter's betrayal. The others jumped in with their own memories, and they went back and forth, leaving out a few of the more personal details, until everything was out on the table, including Dumbledore's visit, and the conversation that had taken place. "...then we all turned in for the night, and I woke up to...you."

Regulus was quiet the whole time, but spoke up when Sirius finished. "My apologies, I hadn't meant to come at such a hectic time. You must understand, I believed there was a spy, and had to wait until I was certain it was safe." They all nodded slightly to acknowledge him, though they didn't feel much like talking.

Sirius spoke up. "Well, I guess it's your turn, Reg."

Regulus glanced around the table. "And you all will keep this a secret?" James and Lily exchanged a look.

"Of course," James began, "if you're lying to us about your loyalties, we won't be...keeping any promises to you."

Regulus nodded. "I'd expect as much."

Lily reached her hand out and linked it with James'. "Well, count us in." She declared. "This sounds...important."

All eyes turned to Remus. "Well, I...I want to help, it's just that I...well, that I owe Dumbledore." Sirius sighed inwardly. He knew what Remus was thinking, and frankly, he found it ridiculous, and planned to tell his friend exactly that.

"Remus you don't owe him anything. Just because he-" Sirius stopped, and glanced at Regulus, then back to Remus.

"He knows." Remus muttered. "He figured it out."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his brother. "Oh?"

Regulus shrugged. "His hearing, the way he disappeared in school, always in the hospital wing…" He looked between James and Sirius. "And I don't know which of you came up with the name 'Moony' but it's not exactly subtle."

Lily smirked and elbowed Sirius. She'd said the exact same thing, and as it turns out--not that Regulus needed to know this--Sirius had come up with the nickname.

"But," Regulus continued, "I'll leave you all alone to talk." He floated through the window, and out into the backyard. There was a pause as they watched him go through the wall, and all remembered that he was, in fact, a ghost.

"He's changed since school." James remarked. "I mean, obviously. We all heave, a lot's happened. But he changed in more ways than one, y'know?" Sirius did know. Regulus had always been clever, but he'd been so poised. Uptight, even. And now he laughed, and made snarky comments, and...walked through walls for dramatic flair. He didn't know what to say about it though, so he turned to James and Lily.

"So, are you lot in on this? For real?" He asked.

James smiled at him. "Course we are! If this can really change things as much as he says, and if Dumbledore really knows and hasn't done anything...then we've got to. I mean, it's...we've got to." James repeated. Lily nodded, and Sirius knew what they were both thinking. Harry. The prophecy. Ending the war.

"And Remus," she began. "We won't force you to do anything, but...neither should Dumbledore. You don't owe him."

Remus seemed appalled she'd even suggest such a thing. "But Lily he's...he's Dumbledore, he's the whole reason I could even go to Hogwarts. I would've never gone to school, I'd have never met you guys, I wouldn't have-"

"Remus," Sirius interrupted. "He let you come to Hogwarts. And he gave you a place to transform. That's it. He's not responsible for every single good thing that happened to you in school."

"But I never would have-" Remus started, before Sirius interrupted yet again.

"Because by that logic, he's also responsible for every single bad thing, which means it's all Albus Dumbledore's fault Clancy Goshawk broke your heart in seventh year." Remus blushed. "How dare he let that happen?" Sirius cried, in mock outrage. James laughed, and for a moment everything was familiar.

"What we're trying to say, Remus," James reassured. "Is that you deserved to go to Hogwarts. All that Dumbledore did was...treat you like a human being. You can't owe your life to everyone who treats you with decency."

Remus was clearly having none of it. "It's more complicated than that, and you both know it."

James raised an eyebrow. "Is it, though?"

"Yes, it is. You can't...dismiss everything Dumbledore did for me as, what 'treating me like a human being?' You just can't, Prongs."

James smirked that James-Potter-smirk of his. "Try me, Lupin."

Sirius glanced out the window, and saw Regulus was still floating in the yard. Thank goodness, he thought. The thought surprised him. Was he worried Regulus would leave? He must have stared out the window longer than he meant to, because he felt Lily's hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at her, and she nodded at the window. "Go ahead. I've got these two." She whispered.

"I…" He started lamely.

"Go on." She urged, and then added with a wink, "Just don't go fixing all your sibling drama. I can't be the only one, now can I?"

Sirius smiled. "Thanks, Lils." James and Remus had been deep in conversation, but looked up when Sirius stood, and walked to the back door. "Right, so I guess I'll just...go on out. And…"

James laughed. "Mate, it's just Regulus."

Lily hit James with a look, before turning back to Sirius. "Don't stress it. He's still your brother." That was the opposite of helpful, because Sirius had said several times that he was in fact not still his brother, and was wracking his brain to make sure Regulus had never been there to hear it. It was a stupid thing to say, but he'd been angry. Or maybe sad. Probably both. And even a little scared. Scared of what it would mean to have any emotional attachment to that side of the war.

He stepped out the door, and walked towards his brother's--because no matter how many times he'd denied it, he still saw Regulus as a brother--ghost. "Hey Reg."

Regulus looked down at him. Being a ghost finally gave him the height advantage. "Sirius." It was painfully formal.

"For a second there I was worried you'd...left or something." And I would've missed you was what Sirius had been trying to convey. But Regulus didn't interpret it like that.

"No." He said. "I'm not the type to leave." There was an unspoken meaning behind the words, which came across loud and clear. And darn it if it wasn't a gut punch.

"Yeah?" Sirius knew as soon as he started talking he shouldn't have taken the bait. But it was too easy. "Well, I, unlike some people, draw the line at being asked to join the Death Eaters." He looked into Regulus' eyes, and regretted it. He stared at the snow on the ground. It had certainly been too easy. He felt terrible. Regulus was trying to prove he'd changed, had proved it, to some extent, and here he was, pointing out all his brother's mistakes. He tried to speak, but his voice came out as barely a whisper. "Reg, I-"

"Well," Regulus began, hotly. Sirius looked up, and found that Regulus had shifted from the sad guilt that he'd caused, to a white hot anger (which you also caused Sirius told himself). "I, unlike some people," Regulus mimicked, "didn't have anyone to run away to." What?

Regulus Black had always liked the stars. It was one of those things that came with being a Black--you knew your astronomy. Even before he could spot the constellations, he'd loved looking at the stars. Especially on a clear night, when they were just...everywhere. There had been so many nights like that when they stayed at the Manor, it was much better than the view from Grimmauld Place.

According to their mother, it had to do with the light pollution in London, which was all the muggles' fault. Regulus wondered why they didn't move away from the muggles if mother hated living near them so much, but she said "Children are to be seen and not heard." Later, Grandmother Melania told him it was because Grimmauld Place had been in the family for so long, and his mother was a strict traditionalist.

Regulus missed her. So much. And he missed Black Manor. All those nights stargazing with Sirius when they were little. He wished he could see the stars better, although they were clearer here than in London. Most of all though, he wished he could see the stars the way he used to. Just for the beauty of it, the childlike wonder. Now it felt like a puzzle he was trying to solve. His whole family tree sprawled out across the night sky, and he was trying to figure out where it had all gone wrong. How it had ended like this.

"Hey Reg." He turned, shook from his thoughts. Sirius had just come out the back door.

"Sirius." He answered, far too formally, because suddenly he was guarded. His shields were up, and he didn't quite know why.

"For a second there I was worried you'd...left or something." What was Sirius getting at?

"No. I'm not the type to leave." That was a stupid thing to say. Apparently he was incapable of making it through a conversation with his brother without bringing that up. Maybe it's a ghost thing? he wondered. A voice in his head shot back, Yeah, cause you just need to have an excuse for every mistake you make.

"Yeah?" Well, crap, he'd done it now. "Well, I, unlike some people, draw the line at being asked to join the Death Eaters." Regulus vaguely registered that one of his long-held questions was answered. He finally knew for certain what Mother and Sirius had fought about that night. That meant Sirius had been asked to take the Mark, and had turned it down. Apparently the universe thought he needed more proof that Sirius was the better person.

And suddenly Regulus was mad. He hadn't been this mad since Kreacher returned to him, sopping wet and half-dead. And, he thought, you can get mad. This isn't a secret like it was with Kreacher. You can get mad. He heard Sirius' voice whisper "Reg, I-" but he didn't care what Sirius had to say just now.

"Well, I, unlike some people, didn't have anyone to run away to."

Sirius paused for a moment, before scoffing at that. "Don't be thick, of course you did. You had me, you had...Andy, and I'm sure Uncle Alphard would've helped you. Not to mention all your little Slytherin friends."

It was Regulus' turn to scoff. "My Slytherin friends whose mothers had tea with ours every weekend? Who were all itching to join up with the Dark Lord for themselves? Uncle Alphard, who always preferred you? Andromeda, who I couldn't have located even if she wanted to see me because I hadn't been allowed to mention her for five years?" He had sped up, and gotten louder, and Sirius' eyes had widened, apparently surprised that Regulus had so much volume in him. Regulus calmed himself down before saying "And I don't think...I don't think I could've just showed up at the Potter's house, I'm sure you'd have told them...what sort of person I was back then."

"Reg, I didn't...didn't say anything like that to them. And they wouldn't have turned you away, the Potters weren't like that."

"Well, still I…" Regulus started off strong, but lost the thought along the way. Why can't he just understand? Then something about Sirius' words caught his attention. "Weren't?" He asked. It was cryptic, sure, yet Sirius knew what he meant.

"Yeah." He muttered, biting his lip. "Yeah, a few months after you. That was...a rough patch for me." Regulus tried to decipher the words. Was it a rough patch because of me? Or the Potters? Or both? Probably just the Potters. It was one thing finding out Sirius had thought about him, and ribbing him for it. It was something else entirely to think that Sirius had actually had a hard time when he died.

"Father passed as well. Several months before I did." Regulus had a lot of feelings he still needed to sort out regarding his father's death, but once he started talking, he couldn't stop. The words just spilled out. "He was sick, but he kept it secret for a long time. It was a muggle disease. Mother tried to keep that bit covered up, though. She didn't talk to me much after that. She was very withdrawn. I can't imagine her condition's gotten any better since I've...died." His gaze had drifted to the stars while he was talking, and now he looked back at Sirius. "Sorry. I know you don't really..." Regulus was at a loss for words, but Sirius seemed to understand his meaning. He simply shrugged.

"It's whatever." He couldn't tell if Sirius really meant that. "Have you seen her? Since becoming a ghost."

Regulus looked at the ground. It had a light dusting of snow. Sirius had left footprints. He himself, of course, had not. "I haven't. I don't reckon she'd be too pleased with me defecting. Some 'perfect pureblood son' I make, huh?" He hadn't really meant to quote Sirius. The words had been ringing in his ears ever since that night, so often that he'd almost forgotten who'd said them. Almost.

Sirius sucked in a breath next to him. “Regulus, I never should have said that. I was angry, and I blamed you...for some reason. Cause I could handle you, I guess. I couldn’t take on Mother on my own, but you felt...manageable. Stupid, right?” Regulus didn’t think so, he rather thought it made sense. I couldn’t take on the Dark Lord, he thought, but a horcrux was manageable. But that’s because you’re a coward. a voice in his head shot back, before he could push away the thought. “What I mean is,” Sirius continued, “It wasn’t your fault. Any of it.”

“No, it was.” Regulus said, surprising even himself. He looked back at the stars so he wouldn’t have to meet his brother’s eyes. “I stood by, I let it happen. I tried to tell you they weren’t that bad. Rather, tried to tell myself they weren’t that bad, but that’s neither here nor there…” Because that’s what it had really been. Sirius came back over Christmas holidays, and essentially told Regulus that everything he thought he knew was wrong. That was a lot for a ten-year-old. So, Regulus had reacted the only way he knew how, and sided with their parents. He’d sided with his parents instead of his brother, but all he’d wanted was the familiarity they offered. The night Sirius ran away though, said familiarity stopped.

“Regulus, you were fifteen. No one should have to choose between their parents or their brother at fifteen.” Sirius’ voice had something in it that Regulus couldn’t recognize. Some kind of affection. Something that was so alien to him, but he knew shouldn’t be.

“Yeah, well,” Regulus let out a weak laugh, that had no real mirth behind it. “Maybe that’s why I made the wrong choice, huh?” He felt tears on his cheeks, which startled him, because he hadn’t known that he could feel anything (and as Regulus had never been the type to sneak into a girl’s bathroom, he was previously unaware that ghosts could cry). Merlin, this is embarrassing. He looked at the sky.

Sirius answered him, slowly. “It wasn’t...the wrong choice. I don’t blame you. I did, back then, but I was stupid.” Weren’t we all. Regulus thought. “I don’t blame you anymore. You know that, right, Regs?”

Maybe it was the nickname that did it, or rather, the way Sirius said it, but Regulus felt a tightness in his throat. He had the all-too-familiar feeling that if he tried to speak he’d cry. He hadn’t felt it since childhood, and hated how vulnerable it made him. He didn't deserve this. He'd stood by while his parents had cursed Sirius. He told himself he didn't know what to do, but that was a lie. He knew exactly what to do, Sirius had done it for him for years, back when Regulus was still the spare child that Grandfather had insisted Walburga have, and Sirius was the heir.

It was old habits that kept him staring straight ahead, avoiding eye-contact. If he was going to convince Sirius to help, he couldn’t show weakness, couldn’t let Sirius see him crying. When he had control of himself he spoke up again. “The sky’s clear tonight,” he said, making it obvious their previous conversation was over.

Sirius looked like he had something else to say, but must have realized Regulus didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “Yeah, it’s nice. We should...head back in. They’re probably done talking now, anyway.”

He followed Sirius to the back door, when his brother suddenly stopped. Sirius turned around, and looked up at Regulus. Then he bit his lip and looked back down, kicking the snow with his boot. Regulus recognized his expression though. Sirius wanted to tell him something. “I missed you,” Sirius finally said, his voice tight. That was the last thing Regulus had been expecting, and just when he thought Sirius couldn’t shock him anymore, he kept talking. “Not when you died, I mean. Well, yes I did, obviously, but I meant...that night. When I left. I missed you so much, I mean, Merlin Regs, that first week at the Potter’s...” Sirius laughed, and Regulus thought that his brother might be crying just a little. “I was a wreck.”

Regulus anxiously fiddled with his sleeves, before swallowing the lump in his throat. “I missed you too, Siri,” he whispered. Because he had. He’d missed his brother so much, and seeing him again was...it was a lot of things, all at once, but mostly it was just a relief. He’d always assumed Sirius would never want to see him again. That was part of the reason he’d stayed away so long.

A small childish part of his brain wished Sirius could just hug him and tell him everything would be okay, like when they were kids. But they were adults. Regulus was a ghost. And things weren’t going to be okay anytime soon.

"C'mon, Reg." Sirius was giving him a weak smile. "You can tell us everything inside."

Regulus sighed. Right. Telling everyone. It wasn't that he was scared (although he was), he'd just rather not relive it all. He steeled himself and followed Sirius inside.

“There you two are!” Potter exclaimed from the other doorway. He seemed so genuinely happy to see them. To see Sirius, a voice in his head told him. He pushed all those thoughts down, he didn’t need anything else on his mind. He floated back over to where he’d “sat” at the table earlier. Lily and Remus were sitting there, he noticed Lily wasn’t holding Harry, and figured her husband had just taken him upstairs. Sirius and Potter walked over and sat down, Sirius wrapping his hands around his mug of coffee.

“S’cold out there.” He murmured into his cup.

“I didn’t notice.” Regulus deadpanned. Lily and Remus laughed, and James looked confused for two seconds before he let out a small chuckle.

Sirius smirked, and rolled his eyes. “Prat.” He muttered.

After a few moments, the room got quiet, and something in the atmosphere shifted. There were a few expectant glances thrown his way, and Regulus knew he couldn’t put off telling his story any longer.

“I stole something. Something important. Kreacher has it now, he’s the one who-” Sirius let out a disapproving noise at the mention of the elf. Regulus fixed him with a glare. “Kreacher’s the one who told me about it. He- I suppose I’ll just start at the beginning. I joined the Death Eaters when I was sixteen. I didn’t do much until I was of age of course. Well, I tried to recruit some other students, but I couldn’t go on raids until I was seventeen. And…” He really didn’t want to talk about the raids. “I was...surprised. I expected something more...civil. Organized. Stupid, I know. But it was chaos, people were being tortured, and dropping left and right. I should’ve known what I was getting myself into, but I didn’t.” He hung his head, and stared at the table. He couldn’t face them.

“I was able to fly under the radar for a bit, before Bella had to call attention to me. They made me…” No. He was done blaming everyone else for his mistakes. “I...killed muggleborns. And muggles. Tortured them. I never...enjoyed it.” Yeah, well doesn’t that just make you a saint. “At some point I realized that it was all so...pointless. Somehow I figured out that this was all wrong, but it was too little too late. There’s no easy way out of the Death Eaters.

“The Dark Lord would...say things, he’d boast. I don’t think anyone else paid it any mind, not the way I did. I figured out he was, for all intents and purposes, immortal.” Everyone let out a small gasp at that, and Regulus took in the shock on their faces. “My thoughts exactly. Well, I only knew of one method to become immortal, and he’s certainly evil enough to do it.”

Sirius interrupted, “Regulus, you don’t mean…”

Regulus looked him in the eyes, and nodded. “Horcruxes.” Sirius swore loudly.

“What exactly is a horcrux?” Lily asked.

Regulus was prepared to answer, but Sirius interjected. “Dark magic. You basically...put your soul into an object. But you’ve got to kill someone to do it, and the ritual is...disgusting. Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“How do you know about it?” Remus questioned. “Surely Hogwarts wouldn't have any books on something like that.”

Sirius crossed his arms, and leaned back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs. “Father. Who else? One of the few lessons that's stuck with me. There were some...gruesome details. Remember those animagus books?” Potter nodded. Animagus books? Regulus wondered, but he filed that question away for later. “Much worse.”

Potter grimaced. “Has anyone in your family ever…?”

“No.” Regulus answered. “The Dark Lord has dabbled in a branch of dark magic which The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black cautions its children against, if that gives you any idea what we’re dealing with.”

“Merlin and Morgana.” Sirius muttered, shaking his head. He turned and looked to Regulus, “What’d you do when you found out?”

“Well, I hadn’t exactly confirmed my suspicions. I was just trying to gather information. So when the Dark Lord asked for a house-elf, I...I volunteered Kreacher. Had I known what he would do…” Regulus really did regret offering Kreacher up like that. How could he have been so stupid? He should’ve known the Dark Lord had no respect for house-elves. Hadn’t he seen how he’d treated Dobby at Malfoy Manor? “I sent Kreacher with the Dark Lord, ordering him to come back and report everything to me. If I hadn’t been so specific, he’d be gone. He returned to me sopping wet and half-dead. He told me everything. There’d been a lake in a cave, a potion, inferi.” He heard a gentle thud as the front legs of Sirius’ chair returned to the floor. “All so the Dark Lord could hide a locket in the cave. It was Slytherin’s locket actually, or a replica, which I doubt, after seeing it with my own eyes. He wouldn’t have even been able to apparate out of there if it weren’t for house-elf magic. Well, needless to say, this essentially confirmed my suspicions. So I started making plans, went to the cave, and replaced the locket with a fake. Then I died, and I started to--.”

Sirius interrupted him. “I think you’ve skipped a few details there, Regulus.”

Regulus sighed internally. He’d really hoped no one would care that much. “What else do you want to know?”

Sirius seemed rather taken aback by the question. “Well, you could start by explaining how you died. You rather glossed over that part.”

Remus came to his defense. “Really Sirius, I can’t imagine he’d want to talk about it.”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Regulus ran a hand through his hair, panicking, and regretting every decision he’d ever made ever. “I drank the potion. It made me...see things, but that’s not important.” He couldn’t tell Sirius what he’d seen. It wouldn’t be fair. It would just make Sirius think that he owed Regulus, when really it was the other way around. “It makes the drinker need water, so I went to the lake around me--the potion basin was on a sort of island--and I reached in to drink, and well...I guess the inferi took care of the rest.”

“Inferi? You...I--” Sirius was tripping over his words, he seemed rather upset. “Merlin Regs, for someone so smart, you are such an idiot. Why’d you go in there alone?”

“I wasn’t alone, I was with Kreacher,” Regulus calmly replied.

That only served to make Sirius more angry. “Kreacher? And he didn’t apparate you out of there? I’m going to wring that useless elf’s neck!”

“Sirius! Don’t say that! Kreacher’s a good elf.” Regulus, of course, had to come to his friend’s defense. “He only left me there because I ordered him to,” he added.

“And why,” Sirius seethed, “in Godric’s name, would you order him to leave you there?”

Potter tried to save the situation, but it was a little late for that. “Sirius, maybe we should all just calm down.” Regulus admired his intentions, but he had to know it was a lost cause.

“James, would you leave me alone with my brother, please?” It was odd. Overly formal, and not at all like something Sirius would say. Regulus was vaguely aware that he was doomed.

Potter, Remus, and Lily looked from each other, to him, to Sirius, before giving in and leaving the room.

Regulus tried not to appear nervous, but he had no idea where this was going. “Sirius-” he began, only to be cut off.

“What is your problem, Regulus? Why on earth would you just...throw your life away like that, huh? That was such a stupid thing to do, Kreacher could’ve apparated you out of there, or you could’ve cast an aguamenti for Godric’s sake, or…”

“There probably would’ve been charms against summoning water.” Regulus defended. It was rather half-hearted, though.

Sirius looked at him, his gray eyes unblinking. “Did you try?” Regulus didn’t answer, which must have all but confirmed it in Sirius’ eyes. “Why wouldn’t you just try it? It’s like you wanted to…” Sirius stopped mid-sentence, and stared at him for a few seconds, before his gaze softened. “Regs,” he whispered.

“I’d be in too much danger if I survived. There, happy?” Regulus snapped. “I’m just a stupid coward who wanted to die on his own terms. You don’t need to read into it that much.” He tried to keep the guilt out of his voice, but was pretty sure he’d failed.

“I refuse to believe, for one second, that you’re a coward.” Sirius calmly replied. That was possibly the last thing Regulus expected him to say. In fact, it was the opposite of what he’d expected Sirius to say.

“What? I’m not…” and in a moment of pure stupidity, Regulus actually said what he was thinking. “I’m not you, Sirius.”

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
2:27 A.M.
The Potter’s House

Sirius Black was mad. He didn't know what else to feel. Hearing about this mysterious cave, and how Regulus had died. Inferi? Merlin.

What really set him off, was how little Regulus seemed to care. Honestly, the kid (and he was a kid) was more upset at the thought of Kreacher being hurt. And Regulus had ordered the elf to leave him behind? A small part of him wanted to grab his brother by the shoulders, shake him, and demand answers. But Sirius wasn't his father, and he could never do that to Regulus. Regulus, who had clearly been through so much already. Sirius just didn't know what exactly he'd been through, and wasn't that the problem?

He took a deep breath, which really only gave the illusion that he was calm, and continued. "And why, in Godric's name, would you order him to leave you there?"

James placed a hand on his elbow. "Sirius, maybe we should all just calm down."

Sirius loved James--like a brother, ironically enough--but he had never quite understood the relationship between Sirius and Regulus.

Sirius sometimes wondered how much of that relationship came from just being brothers, and how much was the solidarity that came with growing up in Twelve Grimmauld Place together.

The point was, James just didn't quite get it. "James, would you leave me alone with my brother, please?" Everyone looked at each other before leaving Sirius and Regulus alone in the kitchen. He watched them walk out, and saw Regulus toying with his sleeves again out of the corner of his eye.

“Sirius-” his brother began, but Sirius was already rounding on him.

“What is your problem, Regulus?” Regulus shrunk back the slightest bit, and perhaps Sirius could’ve been gentler with him, but he was simply livid right now. “Why on earth would you just...throw your life away like that, huh? That was such a stupid thing to do, Kreacher could’ve apparated you out of there, or you could’ve cast an aguamenti for Godric’s sake, or…” He was about to think of another example, before Regulus interjected.

“There probably would’ve been charms against summoning water,” he defended, without much conviction. His voice seemed smaller.

Probably, Regulus had said. “Did you try?” Regulus didn’t meet his gaze, and didn’t answer the question. He didn’t really have to though. “Why wouldn’t you just try it?” Sirius demanded. “It’s like you wanted to…” No. No no no. Absolutely not. It didn’t make any sense, Sirius thought. But it did. It made too much sense. He stared at his little brother, his baby brother whom he had promised to protect, and he tried to ignore all the pieces that fit together. It’s all your fault, he told himself. You left him. You’re the reason he didn’t have anyone. He couldn’t even trust you, and now he’s dead. There were a thousand and one things that Sirius wanted to say, but he couldn’t put any of it into words just yet. He might not ever be able to. “Regs,” he whispered gently, softly.

Regulus brushed it off. “I’d be in too much danger if I survived. There, happy?” Not particularly. “I’m just a stupid coward who wanted to die on his own terms. You don’t need to read into it that much.” There was something in Regulus’ voice that Sirius couldn’t quite place, not that he spent the time to decipher it.

“I refuse to believe, for one second, that you’re a coward,” he shot back, because really? Stealing from Voldemort? Going up against potions, and inferi, and Merlin knows what else? Regulus had more guts than he realized.

“What? I’m not...I’m not you, Sirius.” Regulus looked away as he said it, seeming embarrassed.

"So what?" Sirius tried. "I think you're brave, Reg. I just wish…" What did he wish?

He wished Regulus had come to him first, that they could've figured out a way for him to survive. He wished that Regulus had come to him when their parents asked him to join the Death Eaters. He wished that Regulus had seen he had options. He wished that he'd given Regulus options. He wished that he could've been there for his brother. He wished that he had told Reg that he loved him that night. But he couldn’t say that now, could he?

“I just wish you would have asked me for help,” he said instead, because maybe it wasn’t the whole truth, but it was certainly true.

“I’m asking you for help now!” Regulus exclaimed, affronted by Sirius’ suggestion. Agrippa, he really doesn’t get it, does he?

“After you died, idiot!” Sirius knew that that was rather harsh. It wasn’t all entirely Reg’s fault, but really, did he have no shred of respect for his own life? “Could you not have at least tried to survive the stupid, bloody cave? I would have helped you, you know, and then you could be standing here sodding alive!”

Regulus scoffed. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. If anyone knew what I’d figured out I’d be in trouble. I’d be hunted down by the Death Eaters for knowing too much, and if I were lucky, which historically, I have not been, then I’d have had a chance to explain my situation to the Order of the Phoenix, but like I said, I don’t trust Dumbledore, so I likely would have opted out of that, anyways. Not to mention you would be even more sought after by the Death Eaters, and if you’re wondering you’re already pretty high on Bella’s list, because she’s psychotic, and on top of that, you might have had to keep this all a secret from the Order, so they would become even more suspicious of you.” Sirius opened his mouth to question that, but Regulus kept talking.

“Yes, I said more, I don’t believe for one second that the so called “Light Side” has taken to you all that well, because as open minded as they are, or claim to be, some of them still can’t see past your surname, and don’t seem to care that you didn’t want it in the first place. Am I correct?” Sirius nodded, stunned at Regulus’ intellect. Not that it was an altogether unfamiliar feeling. Regulus had always been smart. Probably got straight O’s on his N.E.W.T.S.

“Essentially, we’d both wind up on the run, hunted by both sides, trying to figure out how to destroy the horcruxes without burning ourselves alive. And of course, that’s only if we assume that you’d agree to help me.” Regulus finished. Sirius figured he should be out of breath, before remembering his brother was, in fact, a ghost.

“I’ve already said, I would’ve helped you!” Sirius shouts. And you wonder why he didn’t want to come to you with this, he berated himself. Oh, well I’m sorry, was I supposed to just not care that my little brother went on a suicide mission? he shoots back. Then he remembers why he’s in this situation in the first place, and shakes himself out of the argument with the voices in his own head. “I would’ve helped you,” he repeats, quieter this time.

“Maybe.” Is all Regulus has to say to that. “It doesn’t really matter either way, we’ll never know now, so I don’t see why you’re obsessing over it.”

“Because, I need to understand why you as good as killed yourself when you could’ve come to me.” Sirius felt his voice rising.

Regulus moved back a bit at that, before steeling himself like the Pureblood Aristocrat he is...was. “I just explained why, and I did not kill myself, as I’ve already told you...”

“Augh!” Sirius interrupts, loudly. “Regulus, can’t you just…” he sighs, and rubs his hands over his face as he tries to think, searching for the words, trying to say something more eloquent than ‘can’t you just give a crap about your own life for once?’ He’s distracted by what Regulus said though. “Wait. Earlier you said ‘the horcruxes.’ Plural.”

Regulus winces, shuts his eyes, and bites his lip, clenching all his muscles together, as if that could stop the words he’d already said from escaping. Because he clearly hadn't meant to say that. “Yes.” He whispers in frustration.

Sirius began pacing. Multiple horcruxes? He would have assumed that was impossible. He’d never read anything about it, but he had a feeling Voldemort just may be the first to do it. He let out a violent string of curses before he turned back to Regulus. “How many?”

Regulus took a deep breath, and began rambling again. “It’s just a theory as of now, but the evidence is rather…”

“Regulus.” Sirius interrupted, staring right into his eyes. “How. Many?” He asked again, deliberately.

Regulus winced again, which Sirius did not find reassuring. “I think three.”

Sirius let out a small gasp, before clenching his fists. “Three? Who could be stupid enough to make three? Who could even do that three times?”

“Are you really surprised?” Regulus asked. “You know who we are dealing with.”

“No, not surprised. Disgusted, yes, but I don’t suppose I’m all that surprised. And you couldn’t have said something sooner?” The last came out rather accusatory.

“Well, I was going to before you started shouting at me for no good reason.” Regulus shot back with false casualness.

“No good reason? Merlin, Reg, do you hear yourself? You went on a sodding suicide mission with no one but Kreacher for company, and I have no good reason to be upset?” Sirius was shouting again, and wasn’t that just perfect? Wasn’t that just how all conversations seemed to go between the two of them?

Regulus stood his ground, because while he wasn’t nearly as loud as Sirius, he was certainly as stubborn, if not more. “It wasn’t a suicide mission!” There was desperation in his voice, and Sirius wondered if Reg really believed that.

Sirius folded his arms across his chest. “Which of us are you trying to convince?” He challenged, with a raised eyebrow.

Lily Potter could understand sibling drama. She got it. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. However, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit out of her element as Sirius and Regulus argued. Partly because she was filled with so many questions (How do horcruxes work? How do they get rid of it? How could Dumbledore not have done anything? Where was Regulus for the past year?), but also because, well, it was an unfamiliar situation. Because Regulus was...dead. Which, speaking as someone who’d grown up in the muggle world, seems like it should have stopped the brothers from arguing.

Of course, she’d known ghosts existed for a while, since she was eleven, yet she’d never considered that someone she knew would become one (not that she would say that she knew Regulus, because really she just knew of him), nor had she ever seen ghosts interact with the living so...naturally, but of course, that made sense for people that they had known in their life. She supposed she’d just never met a ghost who died recently enough to have anyone to talk to. Perhaps Moaning Myrtle, but those people wouldn’t have been at Hogwarts.

She’d talked to Sirius about his brother on multiple occasions, and he’d always said that the two of them didn’t talk much anymore. There had been a few fights here and there in those later school years, when she was friends with the Marauders, and if she thought about it there may have been a few she walked past in the halls when they were younger. Anyways, the two boys started avoiding each other more and more. Sirius was really upset about it in their seventh year, he didn’t think he’d see much of Regulus after he left school. Lily was in a similar boat, Petunia was refusing to tell Vernon that Lily was a witch, and Lily suspected that it was a plan to keep Lily from visiting too often. “As if I’d even want to,” she’d always say to Sirius, who would nod and say “Exactly.” as if the both of them didn’t miss their siblings like crazy. Besides, they both knew exactly what the other was feeling, and they both knew that the other knew. So why bring it up at all?

She was lost in her own mind, puzzling over horcruxes, and ghosts, and Sirius and Regulus, and their relationship, and her and Petunia, and their relationship, and everything was all jumbled together in her brain.

She was in the sitting room with James and Remus, having just left Sirius and Regulus alone together in the kitchen. James and Remus were talking in hushed voices about what they’d just found out. Neither of them had ever read anything on horcruxes before, and they were trying to puzzle out exactly how they worked. Every now and then they caught a bit of the boys’ conversation from the kitchen. James always looked at her when they did, silently asking if they should intervene. They hadn’t yet, and it seemed things had finally calmed down.

“Thank goodness.” James said when Lily pointed this out. He was holding Harry, who was somewhere in between being awake and asleep. “Is that much yelling normal?” The question seemed to be directed at Lily. Apparently she was an authority on this subject matter.

She sighed. “It’s a...complicated situation. And we all know Sirius can be…” she was trying to find the words, when the yelling started again, though they only caught bits and pieces.”

“No good reason? Merlin Reg,”...“sodding suicide mission”...“good reason to be upset?” Lily stood up, and headed to the kitchen, James and Remus following close behind.

“It wasn’t a suicide mission!” They heard Regulus say. Lily saw Sirius cross his arms, wearing that smug look he got when he knew (or thought he knew) he was right about something. This conversation clearly was not going to end well.

Understatement of the century, because as it turns out, it ended horribly. “Which of us are you trying to convince?” Sirius snarked. Sweet Circe, he just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

Regulus had an odd look on his face which Lily didn’t bother to identify. She tried to save him from having to answer (or delay it, rather. Sirius was persistent when it came to people he loved, and however much these boys tried to deny it, Regulus was one of those people.) “Can we please get back on track?” She spoke calmly, or at least thought she did. “I know this is...complicated for you two, emotionally, but-”

“It- it is not.” Rookie mistake, Evans, she thought, you should know by now not to imply that Sirius Black has emotions. Sirius was still trying to deny it. “You think I care that-”

“Yes, I think you do.” She cut in, quickly enough that Sirius was practically gaping at her. She took his silence as an opportunity to actually finish her sentence. “But, as I was saying, I think we have more important, life-threatening, war-ending things to focus on.” She looked between the two brothers, her eyes daring them to challenge her. Regulus looked almost grateful that she’d interrupted, and that was concerning. She could talk to him later, but she didn’t know him that well. Of course, the only one who did was Sirius, and letting Sirius talk to him hadn’t been a smashing success. For the moment, she settled for just being polite, and smiled at the ghost. “You were saying, Regulus? After you died…?” She prompted.

Regulus looked a bit nervous, and Lily saw he was clearly avoiding eye contact with his brother. “Yes. After I died, well, I didn't die, technically. Ghosts are complicated, and I don’t quite understand the magical theory behind it, I’m guessing it has to do with soul magic. Not in the same way as horcruxes, though. For the sheer amount of ghosts in the wizarding world, and at Hogwarts alone, you’d think more people would have researched them…” He looked around at everyone, and started a bit. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I just...nevermind. Right, sorry, the horcruxes.” Lily was vaguely aware of Regulus’ use of a plural word, and turned to look at James and Remus. They were, in turn, looking at her. So they heard it as well. She shrugged at them. Hopefully Regulus would explain.

“Well, after I...came back, I guess, I was still in the cave, so I went to find Kreacher. I’d given him the locket, you see. And, well, that took awhile, ghosts can’t apparate, so I just had to...float around. We’d apparated to the cave, of course, so I had to find my way around. It was near a muggle town, so it took a while to find someone who could see me, and ask for directions. The point is, I made it to London, and I of course had to check for Mother before I could talk to Kreacher, because you know she’s in contact with Cissa and Bella. Our cousins, Narcissa and Bellatrix.” He added, when he saw the others confused looks. “Eventually she left Kreacher alone to have tea with some politician, or murderer, or both. She hasn’t left the house as much since Father…She hasn’t left the house much.” Lily wondered if his father had died. Sirius hadn’t mentioned it, but of course, Sirius wouldn’t.

Regulus cleared his throat, and continued. “So, I found Kreacher, and we...talked. It had been about a month at this point, so he was rather...surprised to see me.” Regulus seemed almost choked up about this. Were there tears in his eyes? That’s odd, Lily thought, I’ve never seen a pureblood who cared much for their house-elf. It only lasted for a moment, though, as Regulus straightened his back, and held his head up like the boy she remembered from Slug Club and prefect meetings.

“We needed someplace to go, away from mother. Not to mention all the portraits at Grimmauld. Thankfully there weren’t any in the kitchen, but it would attract attention. I needed somewhere abandoned, and, well, I thought it might be good to talk to other ghosts. I wasn’t stupid enough to go to Hogwarts, of course, but I tried the Shrieking Shack. Believe it or not, it actually isn’t haunted.” Lily looked between the other men in the room. They were all smirking at each other.

“I believe it.” Remus dead-panned. Sirius and James snorted at that. Lily rolled her eyes, and tried to be exasperated, but really, it was rather funny. Regulus looked between all of them, clearly confused.

“What’s so funny?” He asked, his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Well of course it’s not haunted anymore.” James told him, still chuckling. “We’ve got the ghost right here!” He gestured to Remus by way of explanation, which only served to confuse Regulus more.

“I’m sorry, what are you all trying to--”

“Moony’s the ghost, Reg.” Sirius offered. “He haunted the Shack. ‘Bout once a month.”

“Wh-- Oh!” Regulus finally got it. “You were...and if that was where you...that explains a lot.” Remus looked confused, and slightly nervous at that. Regulus must have noticed, because he elaborated. “Just some claw marks, broken furniture, the like. Of course, we’d raided the family library before we left.”

“Oh, of course.” Sirius remarked, rolling his eyes. Regulus glared at him.

“We went through the library, made a list of books that might help. We couldn’t take them all at once, that would arouse suspicion, but I had Kreacher make a list, and we took a few at a time. So we set to work. It was slow, cause I needed him to flip through the books, and hold them up for me. There was, of course, no form of house-elf magic that could destroy a horcrux, and I had to stop Kreacher from punishing himself. He honestly thought he’d failed me, and I don’t think house-elves take orders from ghosts in quite the same way. He hurt himself pretty bad a few times, and it was hard to stop him. I tried to tell him it was all my fault, and I never should’ve given him that order in the first place, but you know how he is about accepting blame.” The last bit seemed to be directed to Sirius, as he was the only one who knew the elf in question.

Regulus was clearly more comfortable with this part of the story, because he kept talking faster as he went through it, and didn’t seem as nervous. “Anyways, this all got me thinking about the day the Dark Lord requested Kreacher in the first place. He’d asked Bella and Lucius to stay after that meeting. I talked to Bella shortly after, and she said she was proud I’d volunteered Kreacher, it would bring honor to the family, and all that. She said ‘Maybe soon he’ll trust you as much as he trusts me, Reggie.’ She actually called me Reggie, and I wanted to vomit. Sorry, that’s not important. Anyways, she kept going on about how much he trusted her, and how he’d given her an...antique to put in her Gringotts vault.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Why doesn’t the so-called Dark Lord have his own Gringotts vault?”

Regulus grinned. “That’s the best part. I’m getting there. So, I thought maybe this antique, might be another horcrux, which meant that, well it meant the Dark Lord is insane, but that was hardly new information at this point.” Lily didn’t know much about horcruxes, but based on how Regulus and Sirius had reacted, she knew that making one was bad enough. What would happen to someone who made more?

But she didn’t have time to dwell on that, because Regulus was talking even faster, as if he gained momentum the more he went. “It meant I had an awful lot more research to do. Essentially, I figured I should look into the Dark Lord’s lineage, and try and find another heirloom. Well, assuming he was telling the truth when he told Kreacher that the locket was an heirloom, and I think he was--he’s not the type to lie to impress someone he would consider below him--then he would be a descendant of Slytherin.”

James spoke up. “I thought that line was extinct. Since the eleventh century. I mean, they certainly aren’t listed on the Sacred Twenty-Eight, and I doubt they could be excluded for being ‘blood-traitors’” Lily was rather lost, at this point.

Remus leaned in next to her, and muttered under his breath. “Careful, James, your pureblood is showing.” Lily bit her lip.

“Can’t be worse than the toaster incident.” She whispered back, and was rewarded by a light snort. Which was impressive when it came to Remus, he was tough to crack.

The both of them focused back on Regulus, who was saying, “No, but the Gaunts are.”

Sirius shook his head. “Their last male heir died in Azkaban.” Sirius seemed just as shocked as everyone else that that had come out of his mouth, and he smacked himself in the face. “Ugh, why do I remember that?”

Regulus chose to ignore Sirius’ exclamation, in favor of the previous statement. “Yes, but there was a daughter, and some sources from the muggle town they lived near say that she married a muggle named Tom Riddle.”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “Are you saying Voldemort’s a half-blood? Can I be the one to tell Bella?”

Regulus gave the slightest smile at that. “Yes, he is, but we are not telling Bella...yet. And if we do, I get to be the one to tell her.” Sirius turned his lips down in a mock-pout, and stuck his tongue out at Regulus, who reciprocated by flipping him off. This was the most normal Lily had seen the two of them act thus far.

"Anyways, I started wondering if Lucius also had a horcrux…”

James' face was somewhere between shock and exhaustion. "Three horcruxes?" He asked, managing to sound incredulous, as well as completely done.

Regulus nodded at him. "Essentially, once I came up with all this, I...realized Kreacher and I needed help. I'd heard there was a spy in the Order of the Phoenix--Kreacher overheard Bella bragging to Mother about it over tea one afternoon--so I wasn't sure if I could go to you," Regulus seemed to be speaking directly to Sirius, though he was avoiding his eyes. "but I thought I might...I don't know, look around or something," Regulus ducked his head, and nervously rubbed the back of his neck, "and I saw some of what happened tonight through a window, and I figured it would be safe to approach you." Sirius was looking at him. Studying him. This seemed to only make Regulus more nervous. "Sorry." He added, meekly.

Sirius scrunched up his face. "For what?" Regulus just shrugged in response. Lily felt like she was intruding on something, and looked away, silently exchanging looks with James and Remus. "Reg-"

Regulus interrupted his brother, his voice near-emotionless this time. "We have a lot of work to do, Sirius." Lily recognized the all-too-familiar signs of trying to avoid a conversation. Sirius had a lot of the same mannerisms. Perhaps the Black brothers weren't as different as they thought.

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
4:58 A.M.
The Potter’s House

James Potter could really use a nap. According to the kitchen clock it was around five a.m., and he was simultaneously exhausted and wide awake. That’s what he got for drinking coffee at two o’clock, but really, what are you supposed to do when your best friend’s brother’s ghost shows up at your house in the middle of the night? Besides, as if he could even fall asleep with all this information. Horcruxes, lineages, not to mention everything with Peter. His brain was swimming with information, his thoughts were going faster than he could put them into words.

The others seemed to be in about the same situation, because for better or worse they all decided to stay awake, and start planning. Sirius and Regulus were avoiding each other, because apparently that was how the Blacks dealt with their feelings.

James yawned, and sipped his coffee. Everyone else yawned in response, and followed suit. Regulus yawned too, which was weird, but whatever. Apparently Regulus himself didn't understand ghosts, so James wasn't gonna try.

He heard Harry crying from upstairs, and forced himself to get up and walk upstairs to the nursery.

He walked in and found Harry lying in his crib. "Hey there, buddy," he whispered, trying to sound calm and soothing, and not dead on his feet. Harry kept crying. James reached into the crib to pick him up, bouncing him slightly. "Hi! Hi there!" He pitched his voice up, adopting the cheerful tone Lily always used. Harry stopped crying for a moment, and blinked at his dad. James smiled. "How's my little man doing?" Harry took a breath, and kept crying. Dang it. "Aww, what's wrong, buddy? You need a diaper change?" James inhaled through his nose. “Yuck. You most certainly do.” After he finished changing him, James picked him back up. "All better? That's my boy. Yes it is, that's my little boy." He heard a laugh from the doorway, and turned around. It was Lily, smirking at him. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Lily said, with that knowing smile that was just so...Lily.

"What?" James insisted.

Lily laughed, walking over to him. "Nothing. You're just cute is all."

"Me, or the baby?"

"Yes," Lily said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. James pulled her into him with his other arm, and kissed the top of her head. Lily tilted her head back to look at him. “You’re a great dad.”

James grinned down at her and Harry. “Well, you’re a great mom.” He noticed the way Lily chewed on her lip. “What’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” she answered, feigning distraction.

“Lil,” he pressed. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing...The prophecy.” James sucked in a breath. Yep, that’d do it. “This whole war has just been...so much, James. And now there’s...horcruxes, and Peter, and I don’t know if we can even trust Dumbledore, but he’s the one who told us about the prophecy in the first place, and…” There were tears glistening in Lily’s eyes now. “And with everything between Sirius and Regulus, I just can’t stop thinking about me and Tuney.” That seemed to be the tipping point, and the tears spilled over.

James set Harry down in his crib, and pulled his wife into a tight hug. “Hey, it’s okay Lil. Shh, it’s all gonna be alright.” Lily kept sobbing. James was surprised, Lily rarely broke down like this, and she was usually far too stubborn to let him take care of her.

“I just-- I’m sick of it. I’m too magical for Petunia, and not magical enough for everyone else, and I’m so tired of being a freak and a mudblood, and on top of it all, I have to be Lily sodding Evans who's positive, and upbeat, and lets it all just roll off her back.”

“Well, need I remind you, you’re not ‘Lily sodding Evans’ anymore, are you? You’re Lily sodding Potter, who fights in the Order, and yells at Alastor Moody when he won’t let her on missions for being five months pregnant, kicks Death Eater behind on a regular basis, and...just so happens to be my beautiful wife.” Lily looked up at him with a weak smile. “Petunia doesn’t know what she’s missing. She’ll either figure it out, and come round, or she’ll keep living a sad, pathetic, Lily-less existence.”

“James, please.” Lily rolled her eyes.

“It’s true! But I’ll cut the jokes. She wants you in her life, I’ll bet you anything. She’s just too stubborn to be the first to give in.”

“Well, I would be the first to give in, if she didn’t want me to give up my entire life,” Lily griped.

“I know, love,” James sympathized. He pulled her a bit closer.

“I...what if she doesn’t come round in time? What if we…”

“We know a lot more than we did last night. We’re gonna make a plan. We’ll figure this out.” He bent over and kissed her on the nose. “Alright?”

Lily smiled, “Alright.” She kissed him back. The two had grown up all too fast, but no matter what, when it came to the other, they somehow managed to stay the lovestruck teenagers they’d been since seventh year. As they kept kissing, James dipped his wife, and she laughed. And thank Godric for that, because James needed to hear her beautiful laugh. To know that there was still happiness and joy inside of her, and he could get it to come out if he tried.

Remus Lupin was deep in thought before Sirius snapped him out of his reverie, making him completely forget whatever aspect of the night’s chaos he’d been thinking about. “How much d’you wanna bet Prongs and Red are having a snogfest upstairs?” Sirius asked.

He rolled his eyes. His friends were incredibly immature. “Really, Sirius? Betting on Prongs and Lily? Really, they’re married. They can do whatever they like, I don’t care. Besides I doubt they are.”

“Well if you’re so sure, put some sickles behind it,” Sirius snarked.

It had been a long night though. Perhaps they’d earned the right to be a bit immature. “A galleon,” Remus said, before he could regret it.

“That’s the spirit, Moony!” Remus sighed, and turned back to his coffee.

“When do we start planning?” He asked.

Sirius sighed. “As soon as those two get down. I told Reg that he should ask their permission before bringing his horrid minion of a house-elf into their home. He didn’t like that idea much.”

“Well, did you phrase it that way when you told him?” Sirius looked indignant about the suggestion, but didn’t protest it.

“Yes,” Regulus answered for him, as he floated into the kitchen. “He did.”

“Where were you, anyways?” Sirius snapped. Remus smiled to himself. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Sirius was almost worried about his little brother.

“Checking the bookshelves.” Regulus answered, his tone ever so slightly superior. Sirius had talked like that sometimes, when they first met him. Eleven-year-old Sirius had been…interesting.

“Nerd,” Sirius teased. Regulus decidedly did not appreciate that.

“I was trying to see if Potter has any books that could be of use in the research. There were some interesting titles, but nothing pertaining to this particular branch of magic.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “What a surprise. The Potter’s don’t own any books on illegal dark magic. Who saw that coming?” Remus thought the sarcasm was rather unnecessary. Of course, he had been an only child. Perhaps siblings were just sort of...like that. Or rather, perhaps Sirius was just “like that.”

“Well, I’m terribly sorry for trying to be thorough. I was under the impression you wanted this war to end,” Regulus snarked.

“Yeah, that’s why I joined the Order,” Sirius snapped. Sweet Circe, do these two ever stop?

“That’s enough,” Remus heard himself say. He wasn’t loud, per say, but he was forceful. The lads had always called it his “prefect voice.” Oddly enough it worked. Both brothers looked away, and avoided eye contact. “Not another word out of either of you. I’ll get James and Lily.”

Remus started up the stairs and towards the nursery. When he opened the door, James was dipping Lily, and they were...making out. Merlin and Agrippa. He cleared his throat.

“Hey, Remus!” James exclaimed. “We were just…” he made eye contact with Lily, and the two burst out laughing. James’ grip on Lily must have weakened, because she stumbled a bit. James steadied her, and they both kept laughing.

Remus tried to be annoyed at them, but found himself laughing the slightest bit. “Get downstairs, losers.” Lily made a face at James before walking out of the nursery.

“Remus, you’re not gonna...mention this are you?” James asked.

Remus tried not to smile. “Get your kid and get a move on, Potter,” he deadpanned.

James picked Harry up out of his crib. “Fine, be that way, Lupin.” He stuck his tongue out at James as he walked past. Remus followed James back downstairs, marveling again at how immature they all could be.

It struck him that maybe he had it backwards. Maybe they weren’t immature for their age, maybe everything else they were doing--having kids, fighting a war, burying James’ parents--were things that they were too young to be doing. They were barely out of school. They were hardly twenty. That was only three years past coming of age, two in the muggle world. He’d heard it before. Professor McGonagall had said it a lot, and Dumbledore to some extent, and some older members of the Order. But this was the first time it really struck Remus. We grew up too quickly.

It’s with this thought that he slips a galleon on the kitchen table next to Sirius, who looks at it, and then up at him, the silent question clear on his face. Remus bit his lip, and nodded. Sirius let out a snort.

James looked at them. "What's so funny?" he asked.

The two boys (because "men" is a strong word, Remus thought) exchanged a look. "Nothing," they said together. James eyed them funny, but Remus raised his eyebrows, daring him to press the issue. It was a look that said "tread lightly, I have blackmail material" and it was a look Remus had mastered over the course of nine years. James put up his hands in surrender.

Regulus looked at them confused. "Don't bother," Lily told him. "They just get like this with each other. You and I’ll keep each other sane.” She smiled at him, and oddly enough Regulus smiled back, albeit shyly.

Remus hadn’t known Regulus awfully well in school of course, but he found himself wondering, not for the first time tonight, if they might’ve been friends under different circumstances. They were often in the library together (well, not together, so much as they were both in the library at the same time), but aside from prefect meetings, and that painfully awkward patrol they’d shared in Remus’ seventh year, they’d hardly interacted. Yet Regulus seemed likeable enough. Studious, and clever, and...okay, so maybe that was all Remus knew about the boy. Although, “studious and clever” sounded like the type of people he would exclusively be friends with had he never met James and Sirius.

...and Peter, the voice in his head whispered. Yes, and Peter, he conceded. But Peter changed.

“Right, well,” Regulus began, straightening his already-straight robes. “My house-elf Kreacher has all of my research, if I may call him?” he directed the question to Lily and James, ignoring the look of disdain on Sirius’ face.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” James answered. “Just, call him, and we can...get started.”

Sirius, ever dramatic, let out a heavy sigh, and muttered something under his breath.

Regulus fixed him with a pointed stare. “Really, Sirius I don’t understand your problem with house-elves.” He said, and from the face Sirius made, Remus guessed they’d had this conversation before. “They’re incredibly smart, and they know magic that even you or I-”

“That even you or I are incapable of, and they do it wandless and non-verbally, I know, Reg, you’ve told me,” Sirius interjected. “Besides, I haven’t got a problem with house-elves. What I’ve got is a problem with a particular house-elf.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes at Sirius, and for a moment they seemed to be locked in a staring contest of sorts. Remus had the odd feeling that they were having a silent conversation--or, more likely given those two, an argument--but he had no idea what they were saying. However, Regulus must have won, because Sirius turned away and sighed, while Regulus called the elf.

“Kreacher!” Just like that, a house-elf appeared. It was a short, well, creature, with a long nose, floppy ears, and a tea-towel tied around it’s waist.

“Master Regulus!” The elf’s voice was a bit gravelly, though it still had a slightly high pitch like most of the other elves Remus had met.

Regulus smiled at the elf in a way that Remus could’ve only described as out of character. “Hello, Kreacher. Would you please be so kind as to get my research from the shack, and bring it here?” Now, that was certainly not the way purebloods talked to their house-elves. Remus thought.

The house-elf nodded eagerly at the request, before disappearing with a loud crack. He popped back only several seconds later, nearly collapsing underneath a tall tower of thick, heavy books. Remus grabbed them just before the stack toppled, and placed them on the table.

"Thank you, Kreacher," he said, smiling at the elf with a kindness Remus wasn't sure he'd seen on Regulus before.

The elf bent into a deep bow. "Kreacher is happy to serve kind Master Regulus."

Regulus simply nodded, still smiling, before he turned to the others in the room, and his face resumed its usual guarded expression. "Alright," he began, gesturing to the books. "I suppose we ought to get started."

Sirius stared disdainfully at Kreacher. "Is he staying?"

Apparently Kreacher hadn't noticed Sirius' presence before, because he seemed rather shocked to see him. "The Blood Traitor! How dare he disrespect Kreacher's master? He ran away, Master Regulus should not be seen with him. Master Regulus was so hurt when The Blood Traitor left, he is unworthy of my master's time, yes."

Regulus sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kreacher-"

"Look, Kreacher," Sirius interrupted. "Some of us happen to have morals, and just because you're a good-for-nothing, worthless excuse for an elf…"

"Sirius!" Regulus admonished. It went relatively unheard.

Throughout this, Kreacher kept talking. "Mistress blasted him off of her tapestry, she did. Kreacher remembers. Mistress was saying no one is to speak to the Blood Traitor, and he will not be her heir."

"Like I wanted to be her stupid heir," Sirius put in.

"Will both of you just stop for one second?" Once again, Regulus' voice went unheard.

"Master Regulus became heir. And Kreacher was thinking it should have been Master Regulus all along, he is the most deserving, he is."

Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm sure he had a right great time of it, up until he decided to off himself."

Well, that clearly hit a nerve, and Regulus joined in the bickering. "Sirius, I already told you, I didn't-"

"Everyone stop!" Lily commanded. The room was silent for a moment as they all turned to her. Kreacher was looking her up and down.

"The Blood Traitor's friend is trying to order Kreacher around. But no, she will not. Kreacher only takes orders from the Noble House of Black, he does. Not from the scum."

James glared at Kreacher. "How dare you?"

"And this one is the Potter, the one that The Blood Traitor abandoned my master for. Kreacher will not serve the Potter. Kreacher won't."

Regulus winced at the rather personal information Kreacher was sharing. "No one is asking you to, Kreacher, but you will show some respect. Everyone here is going to help us destroy the locket." he explained. "And you will be polite to all of them, regardless of what you may think of them. That is an order," Regulus added firmly. Remus continued to be surprised by the way Regulus treated the elf. “And Sirius,” Regulus turned to face his brother, “Can you at least be civil to Kreacher?’

Sirius crossed his arms. “I don’t see why he has to stay here,” he argued.

Regulus sighed, “He’s not staying here the whole time, obviously. Mother would get suspicious, he has to go back to Grimmauld. I just need him here when we research, to help me read.” Regulus passed his hand through the stack of books to prove his point. “See?”

“Fine,” Sirius relented.

Then, with Kreacher’s help, Regulus showed them all the notes he’d taken, and the books he thought they should start with, and they began researching.

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
5:23 A.M.
The Potter’s House

Sirius Black had never been a fan of dark magic. He’d been exposed to enough of it to know that, if he tried, there were bits he could use for good. Not that that mattered much to him, because after his first year, he was determined not to become like his family. He wouldn’t start down that slippery slope for any reason. Besides, it especially didn’t matter now, as they were dealing with horcruxes, which was dark magic to the point of being downright evil.

It had been a bit of a game when he was younger. Trying to come up with good uses for the dark magic his family used. He never intended to use it one way or another, but there was something reassuring in the rebellion of his little game. But this...this was on another level. There simply was no way to use this type of magic for good. No matter how you sliced it, you would have to murder someone to do it, and, as he was just now learning from the book he was reading, you couldn’t regret it, really. If you felt any remorse for the murder, you’d reconstruct your soul, and that would defeat the whole purpose. Anyway you slice it, there was no way to make a horcrux without being truly evil.

James was holding Harry, while looking over Lily’s shoulder at the book she was reading. He grimaced, and Sirius wondered what part he was at. He sighed and shook his head, “Nothing good can come from dark magic.” James had always had an uncanny ability to read Sirius’ mind, but this was clearly not one of those times. Sirius was debating whether or not he should say something. He didn’t want to sound like...well, a Black. It wasn’t as if any of his thoughts on the matter were all that relevant to what they were trying to do. At least, he didn’t think they were.

But believe it or not, Regulus spoke up. “Not inherently true, Potter,” he said, because apparently Regulus can’t talk without sounding like an aristocrat with a thesaurus up his butt. And stupid Kreacher was ogling up at his master with admiration. What a picture they made.

James was immediately defensive. “What? You said you’d defected, how...how can you defend what they do?”

That seemed a bit of a leap to Sirius, and for the first time in years, he was prepared to defend his little brother to his friends. Before he could say something he may or may not regret, Regulus replied, calm as ever, “I’m not defending what they do. I’m simply saying that not everything is as black-and-white as you’ve painted it.” James looked ready to jump to an accusation, but Regulus continued, “No, I don’t agree with the Death Eaters anymore, and no I don’t think that all of their methods are justifiable. I do believe that, if one tried, they could find several light uses for dark spells.” He glanced at Sirius as he finished, and Sirius wondered if Regulus had known what he was thinking.

“Oh really?” James snarked, “If that’s true, you’d think someone would’ve done it by now.”

“Well, I’m sure several people have.” He smiled in Sirius’ direction again, and Sirius was a tad unsettled by just how much his brother seemed to know. “Keep in mind though, most people who grow up...exposed to dark magic, can wind up using it for its intended, and more destructive, purposes. Whereas those who reject such values and traditions,” he was looking at Sirius again. “Often shy away from such magic in order to prove where their loyalties truly lie.” Darn. Reggie really is too observant for his own good.

“Not to mention,” Oh, here he goes again. “Should someone make such...discoveries, advances, whatever you want to call them, I doubt they would end up published, because of witches and wizards such as yourself, with a determination to keep dark and light magic confined to the boxes which they understand.” Lily and Remus remained silent, but both seemed to be considering this possibility.

James was staring at Regulus, with sufficiently less malice, and more genuine confusion. “And what do you mean by ‘witches and wizards such as myself’?” He asked, his tone more even than Sirius was expecting.

“Simply that you have had the good fortune of never being exposed to so much dark magic that you become...used to it.” Sirius was shocked by the words. There was something familiar there.

“Sirius, are you okay?” James had asked that night.

Sirius was on his doorstep, holding his trunk and shaking. “Just a light cruciatus, I’ll be fine.”

James had gaped at him, speechless for a moment. “A cruciatus? Sirius, she can’t...that’s an unforgivable!” Only later did Sirius realize that he’d never told James it had been Mother. James had just known.

He let out a weak laugh. “Anything’s forgivable when you’ve got enough galleons to your name. Don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be.” Was all James said. It was incredibly loaded for three words.

He just shrugged. “Yeah.”

Sirius realized Regulus was still talking. “When you’re used to it, you can see it from another angle.” Sirius nodded. James was trying to meet his eyes, and Sirius avoided his gaze. He knew what James was thinking.

“I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

He relented, and gave James a weak smile, if only to stop the unsettling feeling of being watched. This seemed to satisfy James, because he resumed his argument. “Let’s hear it then. Tell me how you use dark magic for good.” His voice was challenging, as if he didn’t expect Regulus to think of anything. Sirius suppressed a grin. James didn’t know what he was in for. James was strong, fast, tough, a powerful wizard, and he wasn’t stupid by any means. He had gotten himself into a battle of wits against Regulus, though. Regulus had done a lot of stupid, idiotic things, but he was still brilliant.

Regulus smirked, and casually rested a hand on his chin, a finger in front of his mouth, as if he were trying to hide it. He wasn’t. Trying to hide it, that is. The upturned corners of his mouth were clearly visible, and the mirth danced in his eyes. It was a look Sirius had seen before. A look that meant Regulus knew he would win, and a look that let his opponent know that. How many chess games had he lost to Regulus, where he’d seen that exact look the moment before a checkmate? He turned to Sirius, and simply said: “Page fifty-eight” gesturing at the book in Sirius’ hands. Sirius flipped through the book, until he reached the desired page. Methods of Destruction the heading read, and Sirius felt himself adopting a smirk similar to his brother’s. He knew where this was going. “Go on.” Regulus urged, and Sirius read from the page:

“‘In theory, a horcrux is destroyed when the object encasing the soul is completely destroyed. There have been debates on what constitutes complete destruction, but as souls fall into a rarely explored branch of magic, these debates are sadly undocumented, and have been lost to time. There are few methods which are well known, and due to the truly evil nature of horcrux creation, they are not something to be trifled with and experimented on.

“However, amongst the well known methods (although well known is an extremely relative term when it comes to this particular subject) is fiendfyre, a dark spell,” He paused for a moment and glanced up at James and Regulus. James seemd invested, if annoyed, whereas Regulus looked a bit smug in anticipation of victory. “Which conjures a large burst of flames in the shapes of various beasts. While this spell is simple to learn, it is challenging to control. The destruction of horcruxes is perhaps the only positive use of fiendfyre.’” He finished reading, and glanced up at James. “Well, there you have it, mate.”

James shrugged and nodded. “Guess so. Well, is that all then?”

“Oh no,” Regulus answered. “Far from it. There are plenty of other examples of course, but this,” he waved a hand vaguely in the book’s direction “is rather important to the task at hand. There are plenty of other instances though. The wards on our house, for example. Well, I suppose that we could’ve achieved the same effect with lighter magic, but they did the job, kept us safe and all that.”

“Right,” James said slowly. Glancing between Sirius and Regulus. “The only issue is, wards can’t protect you from what’s inside the house.”

Regulus flinched. Just the slightest bit, and Sirius didn’t think anyone else had noticed. Then, Regulus wiped his face clean of emotions, as Sirius had seen him do many times, and gave James a confused expression that Sirius knew was fake. Everyone in the room knew exactly what James was talking about.

James had always been much more angry at the Blacks than Sirius, simply because he knew better than to believe that their abuse was normal, or that Sirius deserved it. Regulus gave Sirius a look that was...odd, to say the least. He seemed angry, like Sirius had betrayed him somehow.

“How…dare you?” Regulus’ voice shook, to the point where he wasn’t covering it up. “You- you don’t have any idea what- I- That house, our family...you wouldn’t understand Potter.” Sirius had to say something, but he really had no idea what.

“Regulus,” he began, searching for words before James interrupted.

“How dare I? I understand a lot more than you think I do. I’ve only been friends with Sirius for nine years. I know what went on in that house, I’m not stupid. I know what she did to Sirius.”

And now the sodding elf was wailing at the top of his lungs, adding to the noise. “The blood traitor will not insult Kreacher’s master!”

Harry started crying. Remus walked over to James and picked him up, stepping into the living room. He seemed eager to get away, and Sirius realized the noise must be hard on his hearing.

“James,” Lily pleaded. It was a warning. She didn’t want things to go too far, and Sirius thought maybe she was the only one who really understood.

At the same time, Regulus was anxiously trying to silence Kreacher, before turning to James. He squared his shoulders, and drew himself up to his full height (combined with floating about a half a foot off the floor). He looked proper, and dignified, but there was something in his eyes that Sirius hadn’t seen since he was twelve and Regulus was eleven. He wondered if perhaps that was the last time he’d really looked. Sirius felt a lump in his throat at the thought. “Reg…” Sirius tried to speak, but his voice was quieter than he meant.

Then the cacophony began.

Regulus: “I- She was-”

Then Kreacher: "The blood traitor will not insult Master Regulus! No, Kreacher will not allow it!"

Lily: “Everyone just...calm down for a moment.”

It all built to a crescendo, like some sick, twisted type of music.

“Enough!” Sirius shouted. “Everyone just stop.” He looked at Regulus, unshed tears in both their eyes. James hadn’t known he had struck such a tender chord between the two of them. “Please,” Sirius added.

“You told them,” was all Regulus had to say. Sirius nodded, knowing what Regulus was referring to. “Everything?” he asked. Sirius shook his head. No. Not everything. It’s far worse than that. “But most of it?” The worst of it. The worst of you. Sirius just nodded again. He couldn’t speak from the knot in his throat. I'm sorry, he wanted to say. "Lovely," was Regulus’ response to that. Then he picked himself up, and addressed the room with an amount of dignity Sirius didn’t think he himself could have managed. He couldn’t help but think that Regulus would have made a good heir. "Seeing as all of our dirty laundry has been thrown into the open, and apparently you all have been informed about...certain occurrences of my childhood...perhaps it's best we...continue to research, and remain quiet for some time."

Sirius frowned. Was he just going to ignore all of this? "Regulus, maybe we should talk about…" Everything. But he couldn't say that. They had so much they needed to sort out, and Regulus just wanted to avoid it all. Heck, Sirius wanted to avoid it all too, but that rarely ended well for him.

"It's fine, Sirius,” Regulus told him. No it's not! He screamed in his head. "We just need to figure this out, and I can leave you all alone." No, Sirius thought. You can't leave, I just got you back. But he couldn't say it out loud for the life of him. Then Regulus was telling Kreacher which books to get for him, and it was clear the conversation was over.

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
5:46 A.M.
The Potter’s House

Regulus Black couldn’t believe it. He should have been able to believe it, he should have expected it. But he hadn’t seen any of this coming. Sirius had told Potter about their, for lack of a better word, childhood. He felt, in all honesty, betrayed. All those experiences, they weren’t just Sirius’. They were both of theirs. Why does Sirius get to decide who knows about them? Now these strangers knew things about him that even his friends hadn’t known, because Sirius had told them. He felt naked, like they could see behind the mask he usually wore.

It really wasn’t fair, which was not a phrase Regulus used all that often, because it seemed too...obvious. Life isn’t fair. Especially his life. This was different though. This wasn’t about how the universe didn’t play fair, this was about how Sirius didn’t play fair. Not only did these people know things about him, but they knew the worst about him. At least he figured they did. He couldn’t imagine Sirius sharing any other side of him. It was just like with the dark magic. Sirius wanted to distance himself from the Blacks. That was all Regulus was, just another Black, who Sirius didn’t want to be associated with.

The page he was staring at blurred, and Regulus realized his eyes were watering. Not that it mattered. He hadn’t gotten any reading done. Mother had called Kreacher, and he had to leave. Sirius offered to turn the pages for Regulus, but that hadn’t been necessary. He blinked a few times, and watched a tear fall, waiting for the moment when it hit the page, blurring the ink ever-so-slightly. The tear fell right through his book, and then through the table. Of course it had.

He was fine with being dead, really. He had expected a bit less...existence, he supposed, but he chose to be a ghost. He could have gone on. Seen whatever it was that lay beyond Grandmother’s garden. Or just stayed in the garden.

He didn’t know if anyone else knew what he knew about the Dark Lord, though. It was up to him, and possibly Albus Dumbledore, who would have a convoluted hare-brained scheme that would take years longer than necessary.

And maybe he had something to prove. To himself, his family, the world. He didn’t know yet, but something in him wanted to show that he was more than what they thought he was. More than his mother’s puppet, as Sirius had so eloquently put it all those years ago.

And of course, on that note, there was Sirius. He had wanted to fix things with him, he really, really did. But the moment he actually came close, he just...couldn’t. He had never been good at those sorts of conversations.

“We can’t keep doing this.” Sirius’ voice shook him. He looked around, wondering how long he’d been lost in thought, staring blankly at the book on the table. Lily was holding Harry, and she, Potter, and Remus were standing by the fridge, whispering about something. Regulus wondered if they were talking about him. Regulus didn’t consider himself self-centered (though maybe he was, in the self-conscious sort of way), he simply couldn’t tell if it had been long enough since the chaos that had ensued for them to have changed the subject. “It’s not working,” Sirius continued.

Regulus feigned ignorance, because it was easier than agreeing. “What, researching? Sirius, you’ve barely started.”

“You know what I mean, Reg.” He did. “We can’t keep ignoring everything until we blow up at each other.”

“I blew up at Potter, not you,” Regulus replied, although really “blowing up” felt like an over exaggeration. But he had to say something, and he might as well stall whatever was coming.

“Yes, but still, Regs.” Regulus debated whether or not he should protest the nickname. In all honesty, it was rather reassuring to hear Sirius call him that, but maybe he should still complain about it out of principal. Maybe it would feel normal. “We should talk about this.”

“We have.” We haven’t.

Sirius sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. “Not really. You just avoid all my questions.” He wasn’t wrong.

“Maybe you’re asking the wrong questions.” Or maybe you’d hate me if you knew the answers.

“Regs, please!” Sirius begged. “I don’t like this anymore than you do. I hate that every conversation we have has to be an argument.”

“So let’s not have a conversation then.” What are you doing? he asked himself. This is what you wanted. To talk to him. Quit being so stubborn.

Sirius frowned, but to his credit, he refrained from rolling his eyes. “That’s not what I meant. Can’t we just...try and have a normal conversation?”

“Fine.” Regulus hadn’t meant to have so much contempt in his voice. He really wanted to talk to Sirius, but everything else in him was telling him not to let his guard down, and to keep his emotions in check. “What would you like to talk about?” he asked. It came out a bit more amicable, which he guessed was a start.

Sirius seemed genuinely surprised at his agreement, and took a minute to realize. “Well, I- we could-” He took a deep breath, as if he was preparing for something. “Did Mother treat you all right after I left?” It was a loaded question. Regulus wasn’t ready for something like that, but he had a feeling Sirius’ other questions were “Why did you join the Death Eaters?” and “How come you were okay with dying that night?” So, in the grand scheme of things, he supposed that this was just polite dinner conversation.

Of course, almost instinctively, he stalled. “Are you going to turn around and tell all your mates about it if I tell you?”

“What? No, I just- I’m sorry. I was only trying to...I dunno, tell them about it. Usually James. I- I think he might’ve the wrong idea about you. Because of some things I said.”

Regulus laughed, bitterly, and without any joy. It was really more of a scoff, to be honest. “I’m sure he has the right idea. It just came as a surprise. I thought all that stuff was...private.”

Sirius fixed him with a look, like he wanted to scold Regulus for laughing about it. “It’s not the right idea, and you know it.” He said. “You weren’t like them, there were dozens of times you helped,” Dozens seems generous. “I just never...felt the need to talk about those times. I didn’t need...comforting, I guess, when it came to those. So, James just doesn’t know about them.”

“How considerate of you to say,” Regulus deadpanned. “Really, Sirius don’t bother. I know who I was.”

Sirius looked torn, like he couldn’t decide what to say. Eventually, he went with: “So, how’d Mother really treat you? Is she the reason you had to join up?”

He was tempted to say yes. He really was. Because Mother had played a large enough part in it, and it was what he had believed for so long. He told himself he didn’t have a choice, and it was all because of Mother. There had been a choice though. It was the same choice Sirius had. A choice that said “Take the Mark,” but what it really meant, to those who dared to look for a second option, was “Take the Mark or leave.”

“No,” He finally answered. “It was my choice.” Sirius looked him in the eyes, and he wondered how much Sirius really knew about the choice they’d both been given.

“Oh,” Sirius said, his voice low. “I thought maybe…”

“Nope. All me. No one to blame but myself.” Regulus’ voice was hollow. Oddly enough, he didn’t feel quite as lousy when he was the one to blame. That meant something, he supposed, but he didn’t much care to figure out what.

Sirius didn’t say anything about the choice though. “And how was she?” he asked.

Regulus shrugged. “Angry. You know how she was about us, she didn’t even want me.”

Had the Blacks been any other family, Sirius would tell him that that wasn’t true, and their mother had loved them both equally, and she never meant to make him feel that way.

The Blacks were not any other family.

Pollux had insisted, shortly after Sirius was born, that Walburga have another son, should anything happen to her first born. An heir and a spare, they had said. Regulus, having been both at some point, could honestly say he didn’t know which was worse.

"It wasn't too bad,” he told Sirius. Because what else could he say? "I think she regretted some of what she did, when I was little. Like all those times she wouldn't let me have dinner as punishment. She never did that to you though, because you were the heir and needed to be healthy. Well, I was the heir now, so that wasn't much of an issue. And Father didn't care much. I think he knew, early on, that it would wind up being me. He was just counting down the days. Mother, however...she had been holding onto the hope that you'd stay, and be the heir, and then head of the family. I think that she thought if she pushed you hard enough, she could change you. But it just made you more determined to stand out. I didn't understand that about you for the longest time. I think I was more what she expected."

"Did she...hurt you?" Sirius asked, almost scared of his answer. Where’s this coming from? Why’s he so worried? Doesn’t he know the answer? This was our normal growing up.

"Of course she hurt me. You know how she is. It never had anything to do with you, Sirius." Sirius looked ready to argue that point. "Maybe it did sometimes, but really...it was always her. She'd get this look in her eye, like she had all this...pent up anger she needed to get out. And then she would make a comment about blood purity so you'd argue with her, and she could curse you.” Sirius’ eyes widened, and was gaping slightly. “I could do everything right, and she'd find something to punish me for, because she needed a target. It was never just about you."

Sirius was staring at him as he spoke, and then he put his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Regs. I thought- you were the perfect son, y'know? I told myself she'd never do that to you, that you'd be fine, and that she only got like that with me. But-" Regulus realized his brother was crying.

"Sirius, calm down. It's fine."

"It's not fine! What she did to you and I...it was awful. We just thought...we just didn't know any better. The Potters would never…" He stopped there, blinking back tears. The Potters seemed to be painful to think about. He wondered if Sirius had ever gotten like that thinking about him after he had died. Maybe that was a selfish thing to wonder about. But really, how was he supposed to know? He’d never been dead before. He didn’t think anyone expected him to be well-versed in ghost-etiquette. I’ve really had enough etiquette lessons to last a lifetime, he thought. Ha. Lifetime.

“Sirius...it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t really care.” Regulus wasn’t entirely sure that was true, but this was hard enough without psycho-analyzing his childhood.

“You should care, Regs. You just...it does matter. She can’t do that to you.”

“She did though. And I have better things to care about.” He nodded his head at the books spread about the table. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

No! Cried a voice in his head. Tell him about That Night. Regulus’ life had gotten to the point where there were so many nights that he thought of as “that night” and they were all just stepping stones on the path to That Night. Tell him everything. He’s Sirius, he can fix-it.

The voice in his head was still the little boy who hero-worshipped his big brother. The voice in his head didn’t know everything would fall apart when Sirius left for Hogwarts. The voice didn’t know that he hadn’t been able to afford hope since he was fifteen. The voice didn’t know how broken everything was. It was so beyond anyone’s ability to fix things. Even Sirius--not the one next to him, but the version of Sirius he had had in his head at that age--couldn’t fix the mess Regulus had gotten himself into. Which is why it didn’t matter, and there was nothing to be gained by talking about it. Or even thinking about it, really.

He had been so lost in his thoughts, he almost forgot he was waiting on a response to a question. “Well, no not exactly,” came the reply. The part of him that wanted to talk with his brother, and fix things was relieved, but Regulus still felt his stomach twist. “We’ve got a lot to talk about. Things have been...messed up for a while. We’ve got plenty of time though. Right?” Sirius shifted in his chair, awaiting his response, as if he were nervous.

“Yes, it should take a while to track everything down, and destroy them,” Regulus answered. “And then there’s the Dark Lord himself to worry about.” That final confrontation was so far in the future, Regulus had honestly hardly thought about it.

Sirius nodded, and then continued, “Yeah, but after that. Are you gonna stick around?”

“Oh.” Regulus bit his lip. He shouldn’t be upset that Sirius asked. Like I wanted to stick around with him and his stupid friends longer than I have to. “No, I won’t, don’t worry.”

“That’s exactly why I’m worried,” Sirius responded, much to Regulus’ surprise. “Where are you gonna go?” he asked.

“I could always haunt Grimmauld. It seems like it should have at least one ghost,” he joked. They’d always guessed that the old house was haunted.

His brother’s eyes narrowed. “I’m serious, Regs.” Regulus raised his eyebrows at him. “Don’t say it. I mean it, Regulus, I worry about you.” Sirius was oddly stern about it.

It had been awhile since anyone besides Kreacher had worried about him, and Regulus might have reacted poorly. “Pfft. What are you worried I’m gonna do, die?” Really poorly.

Sirius frowned at him. “Don’t say things like that.” Regulus shrugged. “Look, Regs, if you don’t have anywhere else to go, once we sort all this out, you could always just...stay.”

Regulus couldn’t let himself believe that Sirius wanted him around. It felt so surreal, and he didn’t want to accept it if it was just pity, which, despite everything Sirius said, he couldn’t help but believe it was. He had ages to figure out where he’d go after this, but Sirius didn’t look like he’d accept that answer. “I guess. I’ll think about it,” he muttered. He really couldn’t think that far ahead. “Once we sort all this out” was such a distant idea for him. Thinking about it was so surreal.

“Hey, who wants breakfast?” Potter asked, taking Regulus out of his own thoughts, and, mercifully, his conversation with Sirius. Not that Regulus could have breakfast. He once again found himself cursing his incorporeality. Potter was rifling through the fridge, pulling out eggs, cheese, and various vegetables.

Remus was refilling his coffee mug, and Regulus couldn’t help but sympathize. He felt exhausted. He didn’t need to sleep, exactly, but all the same he was exhausted. He blamed Sirius. Sirius had too much energy and extroverted-ness to be human. That was torturous enough to be around all on its own, but then Sirius suggested they ‘work through their problems’ or some dragon dung like that. He was so done with talking to people. Thankfully, Sirius had gotten up to help Potter.

Lily pulled a baby bottle out of the fridge, and kissed Potter before walking over to the table, and sitting down next to Regulus. Salazar, if she wants to start a conversation, I’m floating into her backyard. Regulus pretended to read, but was nervously watching her out the corner of his eye. She cast a warming charm on the bottle, before adjusting the bundle in her arms so she could feed it. Regulus hadn’t actually encountered the child all that much, and he tried to subtly examine the baby. He had bright green eyes, and a somewhat thick layer of fuzzy dark hair on his head. He supposed the kid was alright.

Regulus really didn’t have much experience with children, being the youngest in his family. Kreacher had told him that Cissa had had a son with Malfoy back in June. He vaguely remembered her being pregnant. She’d wanted to make him godfather. Who was it now? He wondered. Then something else occurred to him: Andy might have had a kid by now, too, with that mud- muggleborn. You really need to kick that habit.

Lily must have realized he was looking at the baby, because she turned to smile at him. “I’d let you hold him, but I don’t think that would be wise.” She joked. Thank goodness for that. Regulus thought. He wasn’t going to say that out loud, though.

“It’s fine,” he said instead, “I’m not...I’m not great with kids, anyways.” (Which was his way of saying “I joined a literal cult, please do not trust me with your baby.”) Shockingly enough, Lily laughed at that.

“I honestly didn’t think I would be. It was all so sudden.” She looked over at her husband (who seemed to be in deep conversation with Sirius) with a look on her face that Regulus thought he should have seen on his own mother’s face at some point, but never had. “We’re figuring it out, though.” The baby gurgled, and Lily wiped his chin with the bib. She smiled at him, again with a face that Regulus wished was familiar to him.

It was odd to hear someone like Lily saying she had no experience. She seemed to have a decent idea of how to be a mother. Although, that could just come from having a decent mother. Not that he knew anything about her life, and it was really none of his business. “No younger siblings?” he asked. He hadn’t even wanted to talk to Lily, but now he found himself trying to keep the conversation going. It was nice, he thought, to have a normal conversation during all this.

“None,” she answered. “One older sister.” Regulus just ‘hmm’-ed in response. Which was apparently amusing, because Lily smiled. “I know, right? That’s why you and I have to stick together, what with this bunch of older brothers and-” she lowered her voice as if it were an insult “only children.” Regulus laughed in spite of himself, and Lily gave him a conspiratory smile. “Us younger siblings have to have each other’s backs.” He smirked.

After a few seconds, he began to feel a bit uncomfortable, though.

As nice as she was, Regulus couldn’t help but feel nervous talking to Lily. She was muggleborn, he knew that. Maybe he hadn’t changed as much as he thought, maybe he still hated her.

The more he thought about it, though, the more he realized that it wasn’t her blood status that bothered him. Well, maybe it was, but not in that way. He wasn’t bothered, or offended, or whatever he’d been before, about her being a muggleborn, so much as he hadn’t expected her to...be kind to him.

Because by all logic, Lily Evans should hate him. Loathe him, really.

He had thought Lily would hate him for who he’d been before, for how he’d called her a ‘mudblood’ (never to her face, but Regulus didn’t think that had much to do with his own courtesy as it did a lack of opportunity), or joined the Death Eaters, or...just been a general snobby pureblood. At the very least, he’d expected her to be like Potter, and hate him for...well, for all the complications between him and Sirius.

He glanced over at where his brother was standing with Potter and Remus. He noticed that Sirius seemed (and this wasn’t an entirely new realization) genuinely happy. Not at this exact moment, as the three of them looked to be deep in an uncomfortable conversation, but in general, Sirius was happy. Something that sometimes Regulus didn’t think was in the cards for either of them.

Now it was just Regulus that it wasn’t in the cards for.

He’d suspected it for awhile, but he hadn’t been too bothered by it when he was preparing to die. Now it really hit him. His brother was going to live a happy, normal life without him.

Lily Potter was really freaking tired of everyone shouting at each other in her kitchen. “All I’m saying James, is that it’s a complicated situation. It’s nobody's business but Sirius and Regulus,” she whispered. Remus had come back into the room with Harry, and somehow managed to get him to sleep, which she was eternally grateful for. She was quietly talking with James and Remus while Sirius and Regulus were researching and avoiding their problems.

James was still fairly frustrated. He hated few people as much as he hated Sirius’ parents. “Sirius is my best mate, of course it’s my business.”

Remus sighed, “Prongs, you’ve got this...protective streak. Which is great and all, but...you go from mother hen to mama grizzly in about two seconds.”

“What?” James asked incredulously.

Lily smiled at him, shifting Harry in her arms so she could reach out and grasp Jame’s hand. “Love, you have to have noticed this by now. You’re really protective, and I think it’s wonderful,” She gave his hand a squeeze. “But Regulus isn’t the enemy. He wants to help us.”

“I know,” James sighed. “I just don’t want to see Sirius get hurt ag...I don’t want Sirius to get hurt.” Sirius had been hurt a lot. They all knew that. In fact, they were all among the few who did. Because Sirius always bounced back. No one else in their year had ever known the broken boy that they’d all seen on occasion. Except, of course, for Peter. The most recent person to hurt Sirius. Lily looked over at where Sirius was sitting. He looked like he was trying to talk to Regulus. She heard James sigh. “Especially by his family,” James added. She and Remus both nodded.

“He’s very different than he was in school,” Remus offered. “He’s changed. I think he missed Sirius.”

Well, of course he did, Lily thought, that’s his big brother. “Yeah,” was all she said, though. James and Remus were only children, they didn’t always get that sort of thing.

They fell into silence, occasionally sneaking glances at Sirius and Regulus, who appeared to be having a--perhaps slightly emotional--conversation. James reached out to Harry, in Lily’s arms, gently brushing the fuzzy hair atop his head. Lily looked up at her husband, who seemed to be thinking deeply about something before speaking. “Are we gonna tell Regulus about the prophecy?” Lily felt a weight off her shoulders and a knot in her stomach. One of them had finally asked the question that had been in the back of their minds. She was grateful James had the courage to ask. Now all that was left was answering. Which was harder than it seemed.

“I...I think we should. At some point,” Lily answered. It was vague, but James nodded. “Do you think Sirius will mention it?”

“Nah,” James answered immediately. “He’d let us break that news.”

“I wrote to Pandora about it. Just to see what she knew about prophecies.” James raised an eyebrow. “That she’s allowed to tell us, that is,” Lily added.

Remus smiled. “Oh, brill. She got the job then? I haven’t heard from her in a while.” Pandora Emerson, now Lovegood, was a Ravenclaw prefect who’d been a year below them. She’d been good enough friends with Lily and Remus, and they’d study together a lot. Despite being a year younger, Pandora was incredibly smart. She’d confided in both of them that she wanted to go into the Department of Mysteries, a dream she had achieved about two years ago, shortly after her graduation.

“Yeah, she did. Her internship went really well, and they offered her a position right out of the gate. Low-level, but still, she’s been really busy. I only heard from her in July, she sent me a very panicked owl saying she was pregnant and needed my advice.”

Remus gasped. “She’s pregnant? Her and Lovegood? I-- Merlin, that’s wonderful! She’d make a great mum. How far along is she?”

“About seven months. The babies due February, she said that Xenophilius thinks…” She was interrupted by Sirius’ voice.

“It’s not fine!” he said. He wasn’t inherently loud, but he was forceful. They all glanced to the table, where neither of the brothers had noticed that they’d drawn any attention to themselves. Sirius looked sad, and maybe a little angry. Regulus just looked uncomfortable and confused. James and Remus exchanged a look, and then both turned to Lily, who shrugged. Then, James and Remus turned to look back at the table before Lily swatted them both on the arm in turn.

“Well, don’t stare. Honestly, you four…” she trailed off. “You four” she’d said. She looked between James and Remus. “I meant…”

Remus shrugged. “Who cares?” James muttered, rather halfheartedly.

Lily wrinkled her brow in confusion. “Right.” She’d been friends with Peter, too, but these boys...had it different. Maybe not worse, but different. A voice in the back of her head, a voice that always said things she was too nervous to say out loud whispered: Probably worse, though. “Anyways,” she tried to change the subject, “apparently Xenophilius thinks it’s a boy, but Pandora doesn’t trust that. Something about gurdyroot infusion versus traditional tea leaves, I honestly didn’t quite understand.” None of their hearts were really in the conversation anymore.

“Is Pan gonna try and divine it?” Remus asked.

Lily shook her head. “Says she wants to be surprised.”

“Hmm,” was Remus’ reply. “Sounds like her.” They grew silent again, trying not to accidentally eavesdrop on Sirius’ conversation with his brother. They could have talked about something else, but none of them much felt like it. Peter’s betrayal was still a fresh wound, and it was uncomfortable to even think about.

After a while, James suggested they have breakfast. It was only at his suggestion that they all noticed how hungry they were. Sirius came over to help him cook, and James’ protective nature immediately kicked in. “Are you okay, mate?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

James stepped forward, taking a closer look at Sirius. “You look like you’ve been crying.”

Sirius shrugged. “It’s whatever,” he said. Lily raised an eyebrow at James. She shouldn’t be all that surprised, she knew she’d react the same way. In fact, it was almost more surprising Sirius hadn't denied it. As much as she didn’t want James to pester Sirius about it, she worried about him as much as anyone else.

“It’ll all work out, Padfoot,” she told him, meeting his eyes, and giving a smile that she hoped was reassuring. The corners of Sirius’ mouth turned up just a tad, and Lily took that as a good sign. She reached into the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of formula for Harry. “I’m gonna feed him. Bring me some breakfast, love.” She smiled, and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss James’ cheek, before walking over to the kitchen table.

She sat down next to Regulus, who was staring at the book in front of him. At some point, she noticed Regulus was glancing at Harry. She gave him a friendly smile. “I’d let you hold him,” she teased, “but I don’t think that would be wise.” She really had no idea how to talk to a ghost. Was that rude? she wondered. It might’ve offended Myrtle, but then again, almost everything did.

Regulus didn’t seem offended but he did seem a bit anxious. “It’s fine. I’m not...I’m not great with kids, anyways.” Lily laughed. She knew that feeling. How stressed had she been when she found out?

“I honestly didn’t think I would be,” she told him. “It was all so sudden.” But she’d had James for help. She looked over to where he was standing, his hand on Sirius' shoulder, clearly in the middle of a conversation. James had been so amazing, through everything. “We’re figuring it out, though,” she told Regulus. Because that was what James had told her. That they’d figure it out. Together. Harry made a small, gurgling noise, and she wiped his chin with the bib. Merlin, he was perfect. Some days she still couldn’t believe that she was really a mother. I’m too young, she thought, most of the time, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

After a few moments of silence, Regulus asked “No younger siblings?”

Lily shook her head. “None. One older sister.” Regulus made a small hum in the back of his throat in response, and Lily couldn’t help but smile. Because, of course, Regulus had never so much as met Petunia, and yet his reaction was spot on. “I know, right?” she joked. “That’s why you and I have to stick together, what with this bunch of older brothers and…only children.” That made Regulus laugh, which honestly, was a bit of a relief. Lily barely knew the boy, but from what she did know, she was worried about him.

She knew Sirius’ parents weren’t great, and she’d seen the way that Regulus seemed to care more about his house-elf than himself, and, most concerning, she saw how he froze up when Sirius accused him of going on a suicide mission.

She didn’t know how to bridge that gap, though. Sirius didn’t let people in all that easily, and from what she’d seen of Regulus, she suspected he was just as bad, if not worse, in that department. She settled for just being friendly. “Us younger siblings have to have each other’s backs,” she said with a smirk, which the shy boy then reciprocated.

She continued feeding Harry, and they both settled into silence. She didn’t know whether or not she ought to say anything. She ultimately decided to let Regulus keep reading. He’d probably been fairly invested in his book before she came over. After a while, she noticed he was looking at where his brother was standing with James and Remus. There was something in his expression that changed as he watched them. He seemed...sad, which was odd, not in and of itself, but because the boy seemed determined not to show any emotions.

Lily wanted to help, but really didn’t know how. And Regulus clearly wasn’t the type to reach out to someone else and ask for help. “You know…” she started, “I think Sirius is really happy you’re here.”

Regulus scoffed, and muttered “Right.” His eyes widened a bit, and he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...I...thank you. For saying that. It….thank you.” Lily gave a (slightly confused) nod in response, and this time when the pair settled into silence, it lasted.

Remus Lupin was an only child, and honestly? Thank-freaking-goodness, in his opinion. Sure, maybe not all sibling relationships were all that bad, but based on what he’d been exposed to, through Sirius and Lily? Holy Merlin, did it seem awful.

Sirius had just been deep in conversation with his brother, and when James started on breakfast, he came over looking awfully upset.

“Are you okay, mate?” James asked

Sirius just nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. Remus could tell he was trying to avoid talking about it.

That, of course, did not stop James, who stepped towards Sirius, and muttered “You look like you’ve been crying.”

“It’s whatever,” Sirius replied with a shrug. Remus began refilling his coffee as Lily tried to reassure Sirius. He stirred in his cream and sugar, his head still swimming from all the research he’d done. It had been a lot of new information to take in so suddenly, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it. It was...dark stuff.

Sirius came up next to him, and began refilling on coffee as well. “Moony, can you please tell Prongs to stop being so sodding protective.”

Remus laughed. “Don’t you think I’d have tried by now?” he teased.

Sirius groaned. “It’s just like--” he began. “It’s just like, yes, I have been crying, no, I don’t want to talk about, yes, everything is okay, but really no, nothings okay, but it shouldn’t matter, ‘cause I should just be used to that by now.” Sirius stared into his coffee mug as he spoke. “Ya know what I mean?” he asked, looking up at Remus. He knew exactly what Sirius meant.

“Yeah,” Remus sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been there.” He really had. “I’d be there even more, though, if I didn’t have Prongs being so…Prongs about everything.”

Sirius let out an odd laugh. “Yep. That’s the worst part of it, I guess.” Or the best, Remus thought, but he didn’t think that would be appreciated. Sirius didn’t want to be told about the bigger picture just then.

He noticed Sirius look over to where James was scrambling eggs, and then glance at Regulus sitting at the kitchen table, reading. It was like he was watching them both. Remus watched Sirius. He kept looking back and forth between the two. Sirius could be an enigma sometimes, but right now Remus could tell exactly what he was thinking, and he rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to choose, stupid.”

“What?” Whether Sirius was confused by Remus’ statement, or had genuinely been too lost in thought to hear, Remus didn’t know.

“You don’t have to choose. It’s okay to have two families.” Sirius tried to look insulted, as if Remus was stating the obvious. He wasn’t doing a great job, he looked more surprised that Remus had read his mind. Remus smirked. “Y’know, some people might even go so far as to say you could have multiple brothers.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at the sarcasm. "I know, Remus. I, too, have been accosted by Fabian and forced to look at photos of his nephews." Remus laughed. Fabian Prewett had six nephews, and thought they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. They’d all been shown photos of them at Order meetings. That was such a Sirius-like thing to do. To make a joke when a conversation got too real.

“I mean it though,” Remus said, firmly. “You shouldn’t have to--” pick sides, he was going to say.

“I know,” Sirius cut off, done with the conversation.

At that moment, James walked over. "Are you sure you're alright, mate?" he asked Sirius.

Remus covered his smirk with his mug, and shot Sirius a look over the rim. Sirius just rolled his eyes. "Everything's fine, Prongs. You worry too much."

James looked down at his feet,and said, sheepishly, "I just…you seemed really upset, and I…" he trailed off, as Sirius sighed.

"It's just...my mother. Again." Remus exchanged a look with James. They'd heard a great deal about Walburga Black over the course of nine years, and none of it had been good. "Thought I was done with her when I left, but…" Sirius stared into his mug.

"But?" James coaxed.

Sirius took a breath. "But she would...she'd hurt him. Regs, I mean. And...I don't know if she hit him or cursed him, or whatever, but…I just assumed it was always about me, and that she'd never hurt him. But I just asked, and he told me, and he...she would hurt him, James, and if I'd just stayed…" Sirius paused. He was distraught, there were silent tears running down his cheeks and his voice had grown hoarse. James took the moment to gently put his hand on his friend's shoulder, whereas Remus was frantically shaking his head, because no, he could not have stayed in that house. "If I'd just stayed, then he...I...I'm supposed to protect him, but I couldn't even…" James pulled Sirius into a hug before he could finish.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Remus heard James whisper. "You were just trying to protect yourself, and that's okay. He's not your responsibility."

"But he is, James." Sirius insisted, and Remus could hear in his voice that he was still crying. "I knew what they were like, I knew that they weren't gonna be responsible for him. It was up to me and I...failed him." James didn't say anything, but just let Sirius cry for a moment. "He thinks it's normal, James. That it's not a big deal. Was I...was I like that?" Sirius asked, and his voice shook.

"A bit," James acknowledged. "When we first knew you, and then more when you started, well, talking about it." James pulled out of the hug, and stared firmly into Sirius' eyes. "That's not your fault either. You didn't know anything else, of course you thought it was normal." There was a long pause, in which no one seemed to know what to say. They all looked between each other. “Sirius, mate, things are crazy right now. A lot’s changed, and...it’s crazy. But we’ll all figure it out, okay?” James looked to both of them in turn, waiting for them to agree. “It’s nothing we can’t handle. Come on, guys, we’re the Marauders.”

Remus winced. “Are we?” he asked. Sirius and James frowned, but didn’t disagree. Because so much had changed in the twelve hours. And really, so much had changed since they graduated. Now they were just being forced to notice it all.

Chapter Text

December 29, 1980
9:36 PM
The Potter's House

Sirius Black slammed the book he was reading shut, drawing the room's attention. It was getting awfully late, and they'd all been researching horcruxes since dinner, trying to figure out how to destroy one. The few sources that brought it up suggested basilisk venom, which was just so readily available, it seemed. There was, of course, fiendfyre, but that was risky. None of them were well versed in dark magic, and Regulus couldn't hold a wand. (Of course, if they were going to do it, Sirius knew it'd be up to him. He'd at least encountered dark magic enough.)

Everyone was looking at him, after he'd slammed his book shut. James just smirked before doing the same. Remus and Lily both rolled their eyes, and Regulus sighed. "I take it you two are rather done researching for the night?" he asked, sounding exhausted, which Sirius had come to realize was usual.

"We have been at it all day, Reg," Sirius pointed out, "We should probably head home now, anyways."

Regulus glanced at the clock. "Yes, I suppose. Kreacher," he turned to the elf, "you ought to return to Grimmauld place now. Mother might be expecting you."

Kreacher sunk into a deep bow, and Sirius rolled his eyes internally. "Why of course, Master Regulus," the elf said, before disapparating with a crack.

“Can you floo, Regulus?” Remus asked, looking at him curiously.

“Well, I haven’t exactly tried,” Regulus responded, “but I couldn’t hold any powder, of course.”

Sirius brushed it off. “Doesn’t matter, I took the bike.”

Lily looked between Regulus and himself. “Can you ride the bike?” she asked Regulus.

“What bike?” Regulus asked. Of course. Regulus wouldn’t know about his bike.

Sirius grinned. “I got a motorbike.”

“A what?” Sirius rolled his eyes. How on Earth could Reg not know what a motorbike was? He was such a pureblood. Of course, so was Sirius. But still.

“Y’know, a motorbike. It’s a muggle thing. It’s like a bicycle...sort of. But it has an engine. And mine flys. I enchanted it.”

Regulus arched his eyebrows judgmentally. “It sounds like a death trap," he scoffed, and then paused, wincing slightly at his word choice. He continued, "And anyways, what does it matter whether or not I can ride it?"

"Well, I reckoned you'd be staying at my flat," Sirius told him.

"I don't really need to stay anywhere. I mean, I'm just kinda…" he gestured at his ghostly body while he searched for the words.

"Well, yeah, but," Sirius started, not sure where he was going with this. "I mean, I just thought...y'know, you ought to stay with someone."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "I'm perfectly fine on my own, Sirius. I'm rather used to it, in fact." Sirius winced. He knew what Regulus was referring to. His brother was commenting on his running away from home. Regulus frowned a little at his own words. "I'll be fine, Sirius," he said, softer.

"Reg, please? I'm worried, about you being alone and...stuff," he finished, lamely. He wasn't good at talking about things like this. He was more used to being the one who others worried about. Usually James.

"Why? Because you think I...I've lost my head, or something?" Where was this coming from?

"No, Reg, I don't…"

"You think I'm sodding...fragile? That I'll just...up and kill myself if you leave me alone for too long?"

"Regulus!" Sirius was, again, ignored by his brother, who plowed ahead.

"Because in case it's escaped your notice, I'm already dead! And I could try and convince you that I'm not…" he faltered for just a second. Sirius thought it was a somewhat telling second. "...suicidal, but I spent the whole morning trying to convince you, and you were too sodding stubborn to believe me, just like you've always been!"

Regulus had ended his sentence shouting, and when he finished, he was positively steaming with anger. He suddenly glared at everyone else in the room, as if he'd just remembered their presence (which was quite likely). The look in his eyes was daring them to say anything. He inhaled a slow breath. "I'll be fine on my own, Sirius." His tone was venomous, and he had practically spat Sirius' name.

"Regulus, please, I…" but what could he say to that? "I'd rather not leave you out in the cold." he said, because it was, in all likelihood, the only version of the truth that Regulus wouldn't find insulting.

Regulus laughed. It was a familiar laugh, though not in the way one might think. Not like the laugh Sirius had grown up hearing, at least not from his brother. It was an angry, derisive laugh, with no joy behind it. It was a laugh that he had laughed himself on occasion. It was a laugh that meant the opposite of what a laugh should mean. A laugh that meant danger. It was a laugh that was--and this was arguably it's most horrifying characteristic--a family trait.

"I hardly think," he began, his voice even in a way that Sirius knew meant he was carefully measuring his tone. "That that should matter, much."

Sirius recognized his brother's temperament, he had enough of it in himself, and he'd grown up surrounded by it. If Regulus thought he could intimidate Sirius this way, he could think again. Sirius loved Regulus enough to stand up to their shrew of a mother a thousand times, of course he loved him enough to stand up to Regulus himself. He simply steeled himself for the battle he was fairly certain was bound to ensue, and raised his brow in the subtlest of challenges. "If it shouldn't matter, much," he mimicked, his voice dripping with sarcasm, yet firm all the same. "Then I don't see why you insist upon going...where exactly? The Shrieking Shack? That's miles away, Reg. If it doesn't matter, just stay at mine."”

Regulus sighed “Sirius, please," there was something in his tone that was begging to be left alone. Begging that he could just slip into the shadows like he used to. Sirius knew that was where Regulus had always been comfortable, but...well, the last time he let his brother slip into the shadows, he very nearly lost him.

He caught Regulus' gaze and held it. "You're not going to the Shack, Reg." His voice came out firm, and more reminiscent of his father than Sirius cared to dwell on at the moment (or ever, really).

Regulus stared at him for a while. Gray eyes met gray eyes, as each dared the other to back down. It was the sort of standoff that occured often in a family as stubborn as the Blacks, and both boys could hold out fairly long if they wanted to.

Which is why Sirius took it as a good sign when Regulus relented relatively soon. "Fine, you win," he muttered.

"Brilliant," Sirius said with a grin, walking to the front door, while Regulus muttered under his breath about "don't even know if I can ride your stupid bike."

Sirius spun around to face his younger brother. "What did you just say about Jessica?"

"Who's Jessica?" Regulus asked.

"The bike," Remus filled in, massaging his forehead in exasperation.

"You named your bike?" Regulus asked. "And you went with 'Jessica'?" Lily laughed, which Sirius thought was quite rude of her.

"What's wrong with Jessica?" Sirius asked.

James sighed. "Mate, it's a terrible name for a bike."

Regulus scoffed. "Yes, Potter, that's the issue here. Why does the bike need a name? I mean, it's just a bike."

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Of course she needed a name! And I decided on Jessica, because she's my bike, and I get to name her."

"You're delusional," Regulus told him.

"It's genetic, you’re next," Sirius teased. “Now, unless anyone else has anything to say about Jessica..." his friends rolled their eyes, which Sirius thought was rather rude of them. Not to mention unnecessary. But no one had anything else to say on the subject. "Good," Sirius said, pushing open the front door, and there she was, in all her glory.

Sitting in the Potter's driveway was his 1959 Triumph Bonneville, Jessica. She had a four-speed transmission, an air-cooled engine, and a multi-plate clutch, but that wasn’t what mattered most. What mattered most to Sirius was how fast she could go. Call him a daredevil, a rebel, a hooligan, but there was nothing quite like the feeling of speeding down a road with the wind whipping his hair. He felt like he was flying even when he kept her soundly on the road. Supposedly, she could get up to one-twenty, but he and James had only ever gotten to one-fifteen. That is, before Sirius had enchanted it.

He stepped aside, and gestured grandly at his bike. “There she is. Regulus, meet Jessica.”

“I’m not introducing myself to your bike,” Regulus deadpanned.

“Fine, be that way,” Sirius grumbled, before continuing, “now, how are we going to...do this? Because you’re...” Sirius wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t know what was considered polite, and the last thing he wanted was to set Regulus off again. Nick would be offended, he thought, but then again, Nick always took things rather personally.

“A ghost?” Regulus finished, his tone bored. Well, maybe he wouldn’t take it too personally at all, then.

"Yeah. Yeah, so how do we….how do you...I mean you can't exactly hold on, can you?" Sirius stammered out.

Regulus was giving Sirius his patented glare-of-judgement. "This was your idea," he pointed out.

"Right, well I don't really...know much about ghosts," Sirius began.

"Obviously," Regulus interrupted.

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes. "Shut up and get on the bike, Regs." Sirius walked over to Jessica. Resting his hand on the handlebars, he took a moment to admire his bike before straddling the seat.

"How is this supposed to work?" Regulus asked. He hadn't moved any closer.

Sirius sighed, "Just get on, will you, Reg? Just try not to...float away, when we're flying."

"Flying?" Regulus asked, alarmed.

"Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of heights now, you quidditch jock." Sirius muttered.

"Well, it's hardly a broom, Sirius," Remus put in.

Regulus smirked, and replied "I'm more concerned with who's flying the thing, to be honest." James and Lily laughed, because apparently solidarity was dead.

"Yeah yeah, you're hilarious, Reg. Can you just get on the sodding bike, now?"

"Alright, alright," Regulus interrupted. "Salazar, calm down, will you?" He floated over and positioned himself as if he were sitting on the bike.

Sirius pulled out of the driveway slowly, and was happily surprised to find that his plan had, in fact, worked. He grinned, and turned around to look at Regulus. “Told ya so.” Regulus rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. “Well, I’ll see you lot tomorrow," he said to his friends. They'd all agreed to keep researching at the Potter's tomorrow before the Order meeting that night.

James nodded, and walked over to pull Sirius into a quick hug. "Take care, mate."

"I will," Sirius told him, rolling his eyes. But honestly, he was grateful for how much James cared. "You too, Prongs." James gave a mock salute in response, and Sirius smiled. "Night Remus, Lily," he added, waving at his other friends, before turning to look at Regulus again. "Hold on tight, Regs," he said with a smirk.

"Wow, Sirius, you're just a laugh riot, aren't you?" Regulus, muttered sarcastically, as Sirius revved his engine, preparing to lift off into the air at top speed. "’Hold on tight.’ Really, Sirius, you're sooo fun--AAAAH!" Sirius grinned as Regulus screamed like a banshee.

They'd taken off, and were soaring into the night, at about...well, it was certainly more than a hundred and fifteen miles per hour. As much as Sirius loved his muggle bike, magic could be a wonderful thing.

Eventually, Regulus regained his composure enough to stop screaming. Well, actually he kept screaming, but was now able to form coherent sentences, starting with: "What is your problem!?" Sirius threw back his head and laughed.

Regulus Black, had he not been a ghost, would've been fairly certain he was in mortal peril. He had no idea who had sold Sirius the bike, but they clearly knew nothing about Sirius. In Regulus' not-so-humble opinion, Sirius was not to be trusted with anything faster than a Nimbus 1500.

While Regulus obviously couldn't feel how fast they were going, the speed at which they appeared to be blowing past everything else was positively alarming. To the extent that Regulus forgot that he was not in any danger of dying, and only realized after being in the air for a good moment, that he had been screaming. “What is your problem!?” he shouted, once he’d somehow regained his composure. He cared only a little that he was shouting nearly directly into his brother’s ear. Sirius deserved it, for being insane.

Sirius ignored it, though, and simply let out a short bark of laughter as he tossed his head back. “Don’t tell me you're scared, Reggie,” he teased.

Now, Regulus was perfectly fine with flying, and heights, and speed, and all those other things that came from being a quidditch player. He had been a seeker, in fact. He could fly at breakneck speeds, and pull out of dives at the last second, but he'd never considered how terrifying it was to not be the one in control. And to be totally honest, he didn't much like the idea of Sirius being the one in control.

Sirius clearly took it upon himself to further prove this point, because at that moment, he revved the engine, and lifted the front of the bike high above the back wheel. "Can you stop that?" Regulus asked, practically shouting to be heard over the sound of the bike and the wind.

Sirius laughed. "Just trust me, Reg. I know what I'm doing."

"Sirius, has it occured to you that perhaps if I, a ghost, am concerned for my life-" Regulus was interrupted by another laugh from his brother. Rude. "If I am concerned for my life, then perhaps you're being a bit too reckless?"

"Reg, has anyone ever told you you worry too much? We're almost home, stop having a hissy fit." For a moment, Regulus thought Sirius was referring to Grimmauld Place, before remembering that that was no longer his brother's home. Regulus didn't have time to dwell on this, however, because Sirius suddenly pulled into a dive.

Regulus let out a short yelp, as he saw the pavement coming closer and closer. Regulus may have been fairly book smart, but he also knew a thing or two about quidditch, such as: you can't land from a dive. It simply doesn't work, you have to pull out of the dive and slow down before you can safely land. Dives are for going lower, or feinting, and done improperly they led to--as Regulus was now anticipating--a crash.

Regulus shut his eyes, bracing himself, not for the impact, but for the aftermath he knew he'd see. And then, he heard Sirius' voice. "Oi, Regulus! What are you doing up there?" He opened his eyes to see Sirius and his bike, sitting safely below him on the pavement. Regulus then realized he was still several meters above them, floating in mid-air. He made his way down to the ground, to meet Sirius, who was grinning at him. "You thought I was gonna crash, didn't you? Is that why you ditched?"

Regulus shrugged. "Well, of course I thought you were going to crash…"

"Git."

"..but I didn't really mean to stop. I suppose it just...happened. Subconsciously, or something," he added.

Sirius looked from the bike to where Regulus had been a moment ago. "Weird," he said, before continuing, "Anyways, c'mon, my flat's in here." He parked his bike, and led Regulus through the front door of a tall building. As they were walking (or floating, in Regulus' case) up a set of stairs.

After awhile, Sirius asked, "So what do you think of Jessica?" They were just reaching the topmost floor.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Worst experience of my ghostly life. You're positively insane, you know that?"

Sirius chuckled, as he swung open a door. "Well, you always said I was like Mother."

Regulus stopped. He fixed Sirius with a cold stare. Did he really just say that? "I beg your pardon?" Regulus asked. His voice didn't feel like his. It felt detached somehow, as if only a small part of him was aware that he was the one speaking.

Sirius' brow was furrowed, and he was looking at Regulus with confusion. "What?"

"Don't say things like that," Regulus muttered. He was too tired to have this conversation with Sirius, so he simply floated through the door into his brother's flat.

Sirius followed him, still talking. "C'mon, Reg, lighten up. It was just a joke."

Then again, when was Regulus ever not tired? He whirled around to face his brother, deciding that they were going to have this conversation now. "It's not funny, Sirius. You especially don't get to say that about her."

"Me especially? What's that mean?" Sirius asked.

"I mean that it was one thing for you to make jokes about her, and about the family, and about how...messed up it all was...that was one thing back then, when you were still-" Regulus bit his lip and gathered his courage. It was the truth, wasn't it? He continued, "when you were still one of us, but now-"

"So you admit it then?" Sirius interrupted.

"What?" Regulus asked, furious at being interrupted. "Admit what?"

"That we're not family anymore...that I'm not 'one of you' or whatever,” Sirius was practically spitting the words at him.

“What? Did I miss something, Sirius? Because last I heard, you didn’t want to be a part of this family. You disowned us just as much as she disowned you, and you know it!” Regulus snapped back.

"Oh, you're right, Regulus. Poor you, who didn't have your big brother around to hold your hand through life. All you had was the entire rest of your effing family, how could I possibly understand that?" Sirius mocked. "You know what I had? Ever since I was sorted into Gryffindor I had three sodding people, and I lost one of them last night. But let's talk about how hard it is for you," he snarled.

"Yeah, well maybe you'd have had more people if you hadn't assumed everyone in our family hated you because of what a hat said when they were eleven. But you just can't see past the freaking green and silver, can you, Sirius?" Regulus asked. He knew he was treading into dangerous territory, but he didn't care. He was going to win for once. Sirius had been right about a lot of things, but not this. Regulus was going to win.

"This isn't about houses, Reg. This is about...it's about everything," Sirius told him.

"Everything, huh? Including what you did to Mother?" Regulus rebutted.

"What did I do to Mother, Reg? Enlighten me, why don't you?" Sirius asked. "Did I deprive her of an heir? Did I force her to use her favorite son to continue her precious bloodline? Effing Godric, and all she ever did to me was use unforgivables and tell me I wasn't good enough! How awful of me, if only I had been more like yo-"

"SHUT UP!" Regulus shouted, cutting Sirius off. "Shut up, Sirius. Salazar, I don't know why I thought I could talk to you. You just don't get it, and you're never going to, so just...just shut up about Mother, and leave me alone, will you?" Regulus didn't wait for an answer, but simply sped away down a hallway.

Regulus had no idea where he was, Sirius' flat was rather unfamiliar to him. At the moment, he didn't care. Oh, sod it all, I'm going to cry. Regulus hated crying. Hated how weak it made him feel. Hated that he couldn't even think about doing so without hearing his mother's voice in his head. "Blacks don't cry! Blacks aren't weak!" Thinking about his mother was the last thing Regulus wanted to do. There were a lot of reasons why, but he chose to just push them all out of his mind.

Of course, that was easier said than done.

Mother had been so...strong. So powerful. He didn't recognize the woman she'd been right before he died. She had gotten worse after Sirius left. Angrier. But once Father died, she had closed off. Stayed in her room. He heard her crying sometimes, when she had an off day, and forgot a silencing charm.

She'd cry for father, which was odd, as Regulus had never had the impression that his parents loved each other. He'd always assumed the marriage had been arranged for the sake of the bloodline. Especially given their...relation to each other. Perhaps they'd simply grown to love each other over time. Surely that was possible.

She'd cried for Sirius, one night. Possibly more, that she hadn't let Regulus overhear. She cried that she failed him, and if she'd raised him better, he'd have stayed with the family. Regulus didn't think that anyone or anything could've changed Sirius that much. But it had to mean something that she wished he hadn't left.

And then there was Regulus. Regulus who told himself that Mother had never cared for him, because he didn't want to think of her crying for him in the same way. He didn't want to have added to her pain, however warped and twisted it was. So he told himself that no one would ever cry for him. There were several times he wanted to ask Kreacher how she was doing, but he could never bring himself.

"Reg? Regulus? Are you alright?" Sirius was standing at the opposite end of the hallway, unsure. "I thought I heard you crying," his brother said. Regulus could tell Sirius was trying to be comforting, but the last thing Regulus wanted was for Sirius to point it out.

Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat. "Blacks don't cry," he repeated, filling his voice with all the apathy and superiority he could muster.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You still believe that? Reg, everything they told us...it's all nonsense." Sirius winced slightly, and he must have realized that the subject of their parents was still a minefield, because he backpedaled. "I just mean...I'm not gonna yell at you. If you need to cry. Or make fun of you, or act all high and mighty about it, or...anything like that." The idea was reassuring, but Regulus couldn't bring himself to trust it.

"Yeah, well I'm not crying," he lied. Regulus was a decent liar, but Sirius had always been one of the few who could see through him. "So you can just back off, Sirius."

"Yeah, okay," Sirius muttered. Regulus knew his brother wasn't buying it, and was just trying to keep the peace. Or some semblance of peace, rather. "Um, sorry. Just let me know if you need anything? I'm gonna get some sleep." Regulus nodded. He wished he could sleep. He didn't really need it to live, of course. But it'd be nice to stop being awake. To escape from his head.

Even if ghosts could sleep, of course, he'd probably still be plagued by his usual nightmares. He hadn't slept well without Dreamless Sleep since he was fifteen. Which was probably unhealthy, but Regulus hadn't found it in himself to care back then, and he certainly didn't now.

He floated over to the window, and looked out, up to the stars. He could barely see them, but it was just as well. The stars were just one more reminder of his family that Regulus didn't need just then.

Chapter Text

December 30, 1980
8:00 AM
Sirius Black's Flat

Sirius Black was exhausted. He had barely slept last night. He couldn't stop thinking of everything Regulus had said. Not to mention all the things that had gone unsaid. Those were the ones that seemed to weigh on him even heavier.

So, when his alarm went off, all he wanted to do was lay in bed. He didn't even remember falling asleep, but it must have happened. He was pretty sure he'd dreamt of something, too, but it was slowly slipping away as his brain woke up.

The last thing Sirius wanted to do was stand up, and go about his day. Unfortunately, he was now awake enough to remember that his brother's ghost was hanging around his flat, and that they needed to get to get to James and Lily's later. With a sigh, he pulled himself up, and made his way to his kitchen, where he started the coffee.

“Oh, you’re up,” Regulus noted, gliding through the kitchen wall.

"Yes," Sirius said, his tone measured. He wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know whether or not Regulus was still upset about last night.

Really, Sirius couldn't even make a guess. They'd never fought like that as kids, Regulus had always given up the fight, and ignored Sirius until he grew tired of the issue. Which, of course, had driven Sirius mad.

But now that Regulus had shouted at him...and then gone off to cry...Sirius didn't know what to think. It was all incredibly out of character.

Which wasn't entirely a bad thing, as Regulus had always hidden his emotions so much. Maybe this change was better? Not that that idea was of any use in the moment.

"Regs," Sirius began, testing the waters. "Do you want to talk about last night?"

Regulus thought over his response for all of two seconds before he replied with "No. I'd really rather not."

"Oh." Perhaps he was embarrassed Sirius had seen him crying. They'd never been particularly good at feelings, their parents had said emotions were a sign of weakness. Sirius knew for a fact that it drove James crazy, especially when they were younger. "Yeah, that's fine. We don't...we don't have to. Just, y'know...if you want to, I mean, we can." Merlin, he was terrible at this.

Regulus was looking at him funny, clearly wondering why on Earth he would want to talk about his feelings. "Right. Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Sirius didn't think they'd wind up talking about it all that much. He poured himself some coffee, when he heard a tapping at his window. It was an owl, bearing a copy of The Daily Prophet. "Reg, can you open that window?" Sirius asked, before remembering who he was talking to. He walked over to the window himself. "Sorry. I'm just not used to it, is all. I swear, I'll get it eventually."

Regulus shrugged. "It's fine. I don't really care." You say that about a lot of things, Reg, Sirius thought, but he bit his tongue, not wanting a repeat of last night's argument. He let the owl in, and untied the newspaper from its leg.

Whereabouts unknown? Sirius thought. Hadn't they just turned him in to Dumbledore?

Sirius slammed the paper down on his kitchen table, and let out a string of vicious curse words. How could this have happened? How could he have escaped? Does he know some kind of Dark magic or...oh no. Oh Godric, no, this wasn’t happening. Why didn’t they tell Dumbledore?

Regulus scoffed, and Sirius turned on him. “What?” he snapped. Regulus was bent over the table, studying the front page. He looked up at Sirius, who sighed. “What is it, Reg?”

“The Prophet’s full of it. Again. ‘His close friends, who shall remain nameless to protect their identities’ they’re full of it! Everyone who went to school with us knows that that’s you three,” Regulus said, outraged.

“What are you saying?” Sirius asked.

“What am I saying?” Regulus repeated. “I’m saying there’s a sodding target on your back, Sirius, and it’s not getting any smaller. Just...be careful, cause if you…” Sirius had no idea what his brother was getting at, because Regulus trailed off before changing the topic. “How do you think he escaped?”

Sirius sighed. “I don’t think anything, I know exactly how he did it.” Regulus leaned his head towards Sirius, and raised his eyebrows. “He’s an animagus. A rat.”

“Yeah, right. Sirius the DMLE has access to that information, there’s no way…”

“He’s not registered,” Sirius muttered.

“What?” Regulus asked.

“He’s not registered,” Sirius repeated, before adding, “none of us are.”

“What do you mean ‘none of us’? Who else is an animagus? Are you an animagus? What am I saying, of course you are! Potter and Lupin, too?”

“Just James, listen, Reg, we gotta get to the Potter’s,” Sirius began. He downed his coffee mug in one gulp, wincing at the bitterness. “We need to figure this out.”

Regulus sighed. “We should really be careful…” Sirius didn’t hear the rest, because he was already heading to the door, and pulling on a sweater. “Oh, fine,” he heard Regulus say.

Sirius sprinted down the stairs of the apartment building, Regulus behind him. He just wanted to keep moving, and not stop to think what this could mean. He tried his best, but stray thoughts kept floating through his mind. We could go to Azkaban...the Dementors...he’d have to leave Regulus…again.

Sirius ignored the chill he felt when he stepped outside, and hopped on his bike. He put his key in the ignition, and Jessica hummed to life. The air suddenly became even colder, and he realized Regulus was behind him on the bike. He revved the engine, when Regulus spoke up. “Wait! Sirius, you need a disillusionment charm, if you’re gonna take this thing in the sky.” Sirius sighed, but he knew Regulus was right. It wasn’t the middle of the night anymore, and the last thing he needed was to break the Statute of Secrecy. He lazily cast the charm. Not his best work, but they’d be high up enough.

After they had been flying for some time, Regulus asked "When did you become an animagus?"

Sirius thought about it for a moment, before deciding it was all going to come out one way or another. "Fifth year."

"Fifth year? You were still in school?" Regulus was outraged.

Sirius grinned at his brother's shock. "Yeah."

"Are you stupid? You could've gotten in so much trouble, you could've messed up the spell for Agrippa's sake!"

"Yeah, but I didn't," Sirius replied, somewhat cockily, he'd admit. "And the goal is to avoid getting in trouble. That's why we need to talk to James."

"What's your form?" Regulus asked after a while.

"A dog," Sirius answered.

"Of course," Regulus murmured. "Of course it's a dog. What, the naming seer just couldn't be bothered by the time I came around?"

Sirius hadn't thought about the naming seer in years. The more he thought about it though, the funnier it was. Regulus really had no idea, did he? Sirius thought about telling him, but ultimately ruled against it. He'll catch on soon enough...and he'll hate it when he does. Sirius just laughed, as they touched down in the Potter’s driveway, before remembering what they had come for, and sobering with worry.

Remus Lupin paced back and forth in the Potter’s living room. How could I let this happen? This is all my fault! If I’d just stopped them in fifth year...if I’d never told them...if I’d never been bitten in the first place…

“Rem, why don’t you sit down?” Lily offered, patting the spot next to her on the couch. Remus shook his head. “Remus, please...you’re worrying yourself too much,” she insisted.

Remus huffed, but relented. “Fine,” he muttered, sitting down. Lily reached out for his hand and squeezed it, trying to be reassuring.

James walked in, levitating three mugs of tea. He flicked his wand once, and two of them floated over to Lily and Remus. “I sent Sirius a patronus,” he offered.

They sat in silence for a short moment, until they heard--as if on cue--the engine of Sirius’ motorbike outside. The engine stopped, and there was a knock on the door. James stood up and rushed to the front door.

“Padfoot?”

“Yup,” Sirius’ voice answered. “Open the door, it’s freezing out here!”

“Pads, I need to ask you your security question, first.” Sirius sighed as James ploughed ahead. “Okay, um, what is your theme song?”

“Dancing Queen, by Abba.”

“I’m sorry, what?” asked a second, similar voice. Remus had to remind himself it was probably Regulus. Remus almost smiled at his confusion.

“Shut up, Reg. Okay, James: what did I say when you became head boy?”

James sighed. Remus knew he hated that question. “You asked if I was gonna be a cliche, and go out with the head girl.” Remus heard somebody--probably Regulus--snort. The door opened. “You got my message then?” James asked.

“Must have missed it,” Sirius answered. “Just came as soon as I saw the Prophet.”

“That explains the get-up.”

Sirius laughed. “Shut up, Prongs.”

James entered the living room again, Sirius and Regulus behind him. Remus realized what James must have been talking about. He was in his pajamas, with an old house sweater pulled over his shirt, and his combat boots on his feet, the laces tied in rushed knots.

“Hey, Rem, Lily” Sirius acknowledged with a weak smile. He sucked in a breath, before continuing, “I take it you saw the paper?” he asked. It wasn’t exactly a question, though. They’d all seen the Prophet, and now here they were.

“Yeah,” Remus answered anyways. “I feel bloody awful about it.”

“What? Why?” Sirius asked. “It’s not your fault, Moony.”

James gave Remus a look. A “See? I told you so” look. A look that usually Remus gave to him. Remus rolled his eyes. “Is so. I never should have let you guys-”

“Let us?” Sirius asked. “Let us? Rem, we never gave you a chance, remember? We didn’t tell you until we’d up and done it, because...well, because we thought you wouldn’t let us.”

“But if I’d never told you guys I was a werewolf in the first place…”

“You didn’t,” James said, exasperated. “We figured it out for ourselves. Honestly, I’m a little hurt you remember so little of our friendship.”

Oh, for the love of Godric. “James…” Remus muttered, massaging his forehead with his hand.

“They’re right, Remus,” Lily pointed out.

“If I’d never been bitten, then-”

“No,” Sirius interrupted.

“No?” Remus asked incredulously. “What do you mean no, I didn’t finish.”

“Yeah, but I know where that sentence was going, and it was stupid. It wasn’t your fault you were bitten, Moony, got it?” Sirius was staring at him firmly, his gray eyes determined, and not backing down. Sirius was so stubborn sometimes. Okay, so maybe being bitten wasn’t my fault, Remus thought. But does that mean that it’s Dad’s?

Remus just wanted to accept the blame. His friends had been trying to do something nice for him. They didn’t deserve any trouble because of it.

“Look, Lupin,” Regulus spoke up, his voice assertive. “We’re stuck in the same situation no matter whose fault it is. I don’t care whether or not you want to accept it or dish it out, stop playing the blame game.” Remus’ eyes widened, and he stared at the boy for a moment, thinking about what he’d just said. Remus didn’t quite know what it was, but what Regulus had said just...made sense.

“Regulus, please,” Sirius muttered, exhausted. “Just be civil?” Regulus held up his hands in mock surrender.

Remus shrugged. “I mean...he’s right. I- we should just figure this all out.” Regulus raised a fairly sassy eyebrow at his brother.

James clapped his hands together. “Alright then. Let’s get to planning. Sirius, Regulus: tea?” he offered, before shaking his head slightly. “Sorry, I mean...um, just Sirius then. Tea, Padfoot?”

“Please,” Sirius answered.

James nodded, and walked to the kitchen, but not before sending an extremely awkward apologetic look at Regulus, who rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, Potter.”

“Really?” James asked.

“Yes, really, it’s no big deal,” Regulus insisted. “Besides, incorporeality has its perks, I suppose. Sirius hasn’t accosted me and forced me into a hug yet.” They all laughed, apart from Sirius, who let out a sort of angry huff, but even he sounded slightly amused.

James disappeared into the kitchen, and Remus turned to Sirius. “There’s an Order meeting tonight. We’re gonna have to tell them something.”

“What it comes down to, Rem,” Sirius said after a short deliberation, “is do you want them to know about your condition?”

Remus sighed, and then said with a shrug, “I suppose it’ll be easier on you two if you explain why you did it.”

“That’s not what Sirius asked, Remus,” Lily piped up from her spot on the couch. “Do you want them to know about you, yes or no?”

Remus bit his lip, thinking about it. The short answer was no, he didn’t want them to know. But when has the short answer ever told the whole story?

It wasn’t that he thought they’d treat him any worse for it. Well, perhaps some of the older members might. They tended to be a bit more traditional. It was such traditionalism that led to their dislike of Sirius, though whether it was his last name or his motorcycle Remus wasn't sure. No, everyone will certainly be nice enough about it, he decided, probably too nice. And therein lay the issue. Remus didn't want anyone to pity him because of his condition. It had been sixteen years. He was used to it. He could handle it.

But if it was just the pity he didn't want...wasn't it worth it if it could help James and Sirius? If it could keep them out of (he winced at the thought he'd been avoiding all morning) Azkaban?

“They can know,” Remus decided. “We can tell them.”

Regulus cleared his throat. “Um, pardon my interruption, but if I may...what exactly is the story here?”

Lily and Remus looked at Sirius. “You didn’t explain it?” Lily asked.

Sirius shrugged sheepishly. “I said we came as soon as I saw the Prophet. Like as soon as I saw the prophet.”

Regulus nodded. “The whole ordeal was rather rushed. Although, he did explain that he’s a dog, and was stupid enough to attempt it as a fifth year.”

“Attempt?” Sirius asked, with a smirk. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “So I’ve heard. Anyways, if someone could kindly fill me in?”

Remus cleared his throat. “Right, well. Essentially, I- well, those three figured out I was a werewolf, and they wanted to...help, I suppose.”

Sirius nodded. “Right. And Minnie just happened to be teaching about animagi that year, so we did a bit of extra research, and- Well, I don’t know how much you know about werewolves Reg--apart from the usual pureblood bilge about soulless monsters and the like--but they only hurt people, not other animals, and..”

Realization dawned on Regulus’ face. “And that includes animagi,” he finished.

Sirius nodded. “Exactly. So, we finally got it in fifth year, and we told Remus, and he… well, he kinda freaked out because…because it’s illegal. And, y’know, at the time we didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I mean, we didn’t think we’d get caught, but also-”

“Also we were kind of idiots,” James said, walking into the living room. He was carrying a mug of tea, which he handed to Sirius before he continued, “we thought it was worth it to help Moony,” Remus winced a bit, but James fixed him with a look without missing a beat. “And it was, of course it was. If I had it to do-over again I’d make the same choice.”

Remus furrowed his brow at James. “But?”

James shrugged. “But it was a risk. We took a lot of risks at school. This is just the one that caught up to us.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “Besides, we were going to get registered. The plan was to do it after this war was over, but then...then the war kept going on.” Remus frowned at the thought.

They’d been so young--and perhaps we still are--and they’d been so naive. To think the war would be over soon. To think they wouldn’t lose any of their own. To think that we’d come out the other side the same. To think that we’d come out the other side at all. But no, he couldn’t think like that. He had to focus, he couldn’t disappear into his head the way he could at school.

“Alright,” Lily said. “So we tell the Order then?”

James and Sirius looked at each other.

James Potter wasn’t who he was when he was fifteen. Very few twenty-year-olds are, to be fair. James had changed a lot over the years, he was certain of that. He wasn’t the only one, though. His friends had changed, the world had changed. And his life had changed.

When he was fifteen, all he thought was that he wanted to help Remus, and risking it with potentially dangerous and illegal magic was worth it. He hadn’t thought that one day he’d have a wife and a son who would be in trouble if he got sent to Azkaban. He was a husband, and a father. He couldn’t leave Lily and Harry.

What it comes down to, James thought as he stirred sugar into Sirius tea, the way he knew his mate liked it, is whether or not they’d be safer if the Aurors catch Pettigrew.

...but even if they know he’s an animagus, they might not catch him...but they’ll never catch him if no one tells them.

He stood there awhile, debating the issue with himself. He didn’t really see Peter as dangerous. But the information Peter had...now that was what concerned him.

No, they had to tell the Order. That was the right thing to do. It was best for Lily and Harry. And even if he had to...leave them. They’d still have Remus. Remus would take care of them. And Marlene. And Frank and Alice, probably.

And Regulus could help them figure things out with the horcruxes. Everything would be fine. Well, maybe not for him. And maybe not for Sirius. He couldn’t bear to think of his best friend in Azkaban. It worried him more than thinking about it for himself. Sirius had been through so much, James could only imagine what the dementors would do to him.

James sighed, and stared at the mug of tea in front of him. They needed to make a plan. He needed to make sure his family would be alright without him. He needed...to stop dwelling on it all by himself.

He picked up the tea and made his way back into the living room. Where Sirius was explaining the situation to Regulus. “...didn’t think we’d get caught, but also-”

“Also we were kind of idiots,” James pitched in as he walked in. He handed Sirius his tea. “We thought it was worth it to help Moony.” James noticed Remus’ face fall a bit. He looked at his friend as he continued. “And it was, of course it was. If I had it to do-over again I’d make the same choice.” And wasn’t that a thought? Because hadn’t James just been wondering that? But no, he’d definitely do it again. And again and again, because Remus was his friend. He never could’ve left Remus behind like that.

Remus looked at him. “But?” he coaxed.

James just shrugged. “But it was a risk. We took a lot of risks at school. This is just the one that caught up to us.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Besides, we were going to get registered. The plan was to do it after this war was over, but then...then the war kept going on.” James nodded. He remembered making those plans with Sirius, and of course, with Peter. They’d made a lot of plans back then, if only because the end of the war seemed so close.

But joining the Order had shown James just how far behind they were. They were losing this war. Badly. And speaking of the Order…

“Alright. So we tell the Order then?” Lily asked the room. James looked at Remus, who nodded. Well, James thought, if it's alright with him. He and Sirius exchanged a look before nodding as well.

"Are you all crazy?" Regulus asked. "I mean...you could get sent to Azkaban. There has to be a way to tell them about Pettigrew without mentioning-"

"Reg," Sirius cut off. "We're not gonna lie to the Order. We can trust them. Maybe not Dumbledore," Sirius added, before Regulus could say it. "But we trust the rest of them. We can't keep them in the dark like Dumbledore has been doing to us. I mean, we're already hiding all this horcrux stuff, and, well…you."

"Thanks," Regulus muttered bitterly.

Much to James’ surprise, Sirius simply sighed before he shot back: "Reg, we both know I’m not good at words, so can’t you just use that sodding brain of yours to realize I didn’t mean to insult you?”

Silence hung in the air for a moment before Regulus answered. He seemed rather shocked, and with good reason. “I...fine. Yeah, sure. But Sirius, is there no way to tell them this without you two admitting to it?”

“Not that they’d believe. There’d be two many holes in the story, they’d piece it together. It’s best to just be up front.”

“Fine. But you--both of you--you have to fight, still. You can’t just accept it. You have to at least try. I...I doubt Dumbledore is playing by the Ministry’s rules, if you can convince them it could be useful to the Order…”

James shook his head. “We need the DMLE to catch Peter. He knows too much," he said.

"But..." Regulus looked like he was thinking hard about something, before he relented and hung his head, defeated. "Fine, just…" he looked up at Sirius "just try not to...get arrested."

Sirius gave him a weak smile. “That’s the plan.”

Chapter Text

December 30, 1980
Caradoc Dearborn’s House
7:30 PM

Lily Potter would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. She was terrified. It had been...alarming, to say the least, to learn James was an animagus. She’d known then that it was illegal, but it hadn’t hit her the same way. The boys were careful. They’d never gotten caught. Of course, that had been when they were in school…

And it had been wonderful of them to do that for Remus. She loved how selfless James could be. But now...she was worried. What if James got sent away to Azkaban? What if he had to leave her?

Lily looked at Harry in her arms, worried. She barely knew how to be a parent, let alone do it by herself. Not to mention in the wizarding world. Is there a spattergroit vaccine? Rec league quidditch? Primary school? Lily had no idea, she’d grown up in the muggle world.

Sure, she'd have Remus around, hopefully. That was the plan anyway, but...well, he wasn’t James. James was her husband now. They were meant to be a family. They were meant to have years, decades together. It couldn’t end so suddenly. Not when I was the one who delayed it starting, Lily thought.

“Lily?” She started at the sound of her name.

“Hm?” Lily looked around, and saw Frank sitting next to her, bouncing Neville on his knee.

He chuckled. “You’re awfully jumpy. I was only asking whether or not you’d started solids?” He nodded at Harry.

Lily sighed in relief, at which Frank raised a brow, but didn’t question it. “No, not yet. I suppose we ought to, but James and I have been a bit distracted. Things have gotten...crazy, recently.” Have I said too much? We didn’t exactly decide on a cover story...maybe we should have.

“I don’t blame you,” Frank sympathized. “I saw the Prophet this morning, I still can’t believe it.” Right, of course. He just thinks I’m talking about Peter. Of course, she wasn’t not talking about Peter.

“Yeah, we figured that’d come up tonight,” Lily said, and, because Frank was so easy to talk to, she continued, “the boys are rather nervous about it. And...I am too, if I’m honest. It really came out of nowhere, I just…I don’t understand it.” At some point her voice had dropped to a whisper.

Frank adopted a thoughtful expression. “People aren’t themselves when they’re afraid, I don’t think.” The rest of us are terrifiedand we’re plenty ourselves.

Before she could voice the thought, James sat down next to her on the couch. “Hey, love. Dumbledore’s just gotten here.” The worry was clear on his face. Around them, everyone else was finding seats in the Dearborn’s living room.

“Oh. Brilliant. I expect...everything we talked about,” she said at length, giving her husband a meaningful look, “will be addressed sooner, rather than later.” James nodded. Lily reached out to squeeze his hand. She realized Sirius had sat down on her husband’s other side, and was anxiously bouncing his leg. It was mildly irritating, but Lily said nothing. They were all nervous enough.

Dumbledore strode into the room, his magenta robes billowing slightly. “Good evening, all,” he said, his voice quiet, yet commanding as he addressed the room at large. “We have much to discuss, this evening, so perhaps we should, as they say, hop to it?” There was a general murmur of agreement throughout the room. The professor clapped his hands together. “Splendid. Now, I would assume you’ve all read this morning’s Prophet? I must say I find it incredibly serendipitous that we had a meeting already scheduled for this evening.”

Lily wrinkled her brow at the comment, and felt James tense next to her. She turned to see him, and Sirius beside him, staring daggers at their former headmaster.

“So the Prophet’s telling the truth then?” Gideon Prewett asked from where he was sitting on the floor.

“Aye, for once!” The gruff voice belonged to “Mad-Eye'' Moody, who quickly limped to the front of the room using his staff. Dumbledore acknowledged him with a nod, and stepped aside. “Blasted rat-'' Lily frowned at the word choice, and she felt James flinch next to her. Mad-Eye didn’t miss a beat, though, “-got out of the holding cell last night. Gave Shacklebolt quite the scare, seein’ it empty.” There were murmurs around the room, but they stopped when Mad-Eye spoke again. “We got our best men on the job, but we haven’t any idea how he’s done it, given his wand had been confiscated upon his arrival at the ministry.”

The room fell into silence, and Lily felt James squeeze her hand. She looked at him, but he’d already turned to Sirius. The two seemed to be having a silent conversation. They must have reached a consensus, because James gave her hand a final squeeze before both boys stood up.

James Potter looked back at all the eyes watching him. He was really about to do this. He was really going to tell the Order about everything. He remembered being in school, and when anyone had asked questions they’d grin enigmatically and say it was a “Marauder’s secret.” Perhaps it was an odd reminiscence to have just then, but he shook himself out of it. Everyone was staring at them.

James cleared his throat nervously. “I- we, that is, Sirius and I, should tell you all something.” Blank stares. “We might- well, we do, know how Peter escaped.” Now that got a reaction. There were a few murmurs, or gasps, and everyone looked reasonably shocked. Except Mad-Eye, who looked doubtful, and Dumbledore, who looked as if his favorite radio program had just come on. “Well, er, it’s a long story, but when we were in school--the four of us--we found out that…” James turned around to look at Remus, trying to subtly ask if he wanted to explain it for himself.

Remus stood up with a sigh. “Since...certain things have...come up, I think it may be prudent to...inform you all, that…” he paused longer this time, having run out of words to stall with. James wondered if Dumbledore and McGonagall might have guessed where this was going, as they were both giving Remus encouraging nods to continue. “I...am a werewolf.” There were a few murmurs around the room, and James glared in their direction. “I understand if you all don’t want me to-” Oh Godric, this again.

Before James could say anything, Sirius spoke up. “No, Rem. Sit down, no one’s kicking you out.”

“Not really your decision, Black,” Edgar Bones muttered.

“And it’s yours, Bones?” James asked.

“If I may,” Dumbledore began calmly. “I have no intention of kicking anyone out of the Order. We cannot treat others with the contempt that Lord Voldemort and his followers harbor for those with circumstances outside of their control.” He gave Sirius a look that James could not decipher. “After all, we are supposed to be different from them, as I’ve been reminded.” Sirius looked at James, who shrugged in response. James didn’t entirely trust Dumbledore anymore, but he didn’t exactly find him to be the malicious type, either. The man was simply an enigma.

Mad-Eye nodded, and looked around the room while staring Remus down. “I trust ye, Lupin.” His blue eye swiveled again, and James tried not to flinch under its gaze, although he wouldn’t be surprised if Mad-eye could pick up on even his smallest movements. “What’s this got to do with Pettigrew, Potter?”

James cleared his throat anxiously. “Well, we think, or rather, we know, that he escaped because..he’sananimagus.” The few people that understood what James had said gave him odd looks, sure they had misheard him. Of course, it wasn’t too difficult to convince oneself that they’d misheard when James spoke as rushed as he had.

“I beg your pardon?” asked Professor McGonagall.

Sirius Black had been the sort of student, and person, for that matter, who always viewed “rules” as suggestions, or recommendations, or, more often than not, a challenge. This had led to some questionable decisions in his seven years at Hogwarts. Questionable as in risky, illegal, and could get you expelled and/or thrown into Azkaban.

In all those times being in trouble, nothing--not even the piercing gaze of Albus Dumbledore--had compared to seeing his head of house disappointed in him. Minerva McGonagall was awfully strict, yes, but she did care for her students a great deal. Sirius had always been proficient in transfiguration, and despite all the trouble the four of them--Merlin, it’s not four anymore, is it?--had gotten up to, she was rather patient (given the circumstances, at least).

Before he had Mrs. Potter, he had Professor McGonagall. Perhaps that was about to change, though…

“Pettigrew’s an animagus,” Sirius forced himself to say. “Me and James, too.” McGonagall narrowed her eyes, and Sirius looked away. His eyes flitted around the room, before he settled for looking down at his boots. “We wanted to help Remus,” he said, quiet, but just loud enough to be heard. There were murmurs around the room. They were doomed.

Even McGonagall wouldn’t be on their side, he knew it. It was really happening, he and James were going to get sent to Azkaban. It could not have happened at a worse time. James was supposed to be there for Lily and Harry, and Sirius...he’d just gotten Regulus back.

If Regulus had been mad when Sirius left him in Grimmauld, what would he think now? Regulus would definitely hate Sirius now, if he’d ever stopped hating him.

He had lost Regulus over, and over, and over. When Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin, and Sirius was stupid enough to think that meant he’d be just like the rest of them. When Sirius ran away, and Regulus refused to talk to him at school. When they’d shouted at each other in their sixth and seventh years, and Sirius began to suspect what Regulus had done. When Regulus died. It still hurt to think of itt. That one he had thought there was no coming back from, but he stood corrected.

But now here he was, about to ruin it all again. Regulus had been counting on him. They were gonna sort out his unfinished business, and maybe put an end to the stupid war, but now...they couldn’t. And Sirius hadn’t even said good-bye, it hadn’t even occurred to him that the Aurors probably wouldn’t give him a chance. And what would he do, ask if he could talk to his dead, ex-Death Eater brother before getting locked away? The only way that could help would be if it got him out of Azkaban and landed him in St. Mungo’s. Not to mention Regulus being a ghost was supposed to be kept quiet, at least for now.

Sirius felt tears in the corners of his eyes, and he remembered Regulus, just the other night. “Black’s don’t cry,” he had been wrong, obviously. So wrong it wasn’t even funny, but Sirius couldn’t help but wonder if Regulus would cry in his situation. The answer was a resounding no, of course. But it reminded him what Regulus had said to him earlier that day.

“You have to fight, still. You can’t just accept it. You have to at least try… if you can convince them it could be useful to the Order…”

Regulus was right. Gryffindors don’t go down without putting up a fight. And neither did Blacks for that matter.

Sirius held his head up, and steeled himself. “I’m sure you’ll want to be arresting us, but you ought to reconsider,” he said. His voice was nothing like it usually was. He sounded like a proper pureblood all of a sudden. He was talking like Regulus, or his father. Sirius had no idea where it came from, but he supposed he had picked up a few things in fifteen years.

People were listening, at least. James, Lily, and Remus were all looking at him confused. This they hadn’t planned for. The plan was to lay the story out and hope for the best. “And why’s that, Black?” Moody grumbled. Although his eye was looking them both up and down in an appraising sort of manner, that Sirius interpreted as some form of consideration.

“Well, it could be a useful disguise...and James and I are good duelists, you wouldn’t want to lose us,” Sirius had no idea if anyone would agree with that, but he figured it was best to state it as if it were a fact. “And…” There has to be more to it...c’mon, think like a Slytherin, Sirius told himself. “And you can keep Peter’s form quiet, just within the DMLE. That way we’ll have leverage with him if we need it. And Peter knows all sorts of things about us four, Lily and Harry are safer with James around. And we know things about him, too, you can use us. And…” Should I say it? They might be more inclined to lock me up if I mention it. Maybe not Dumbledore, though, and maybe not Mad-Eye… “I know a bit about Dark Magic, from growing up.” There were gasps around the room, and a few whispers.

“Oh, quiet, all of yeh,” grunted Mad-Eye. “I know plenty, too. Only difference is I chose to learn it, if we’re criticizing anyone, it oughtta be me, wouldn’tcha say?” His eye stared down everyone who had whispered in turn, and Sirius couldn’t help but feel grateful for the support. “I agree with mister Black. Morals are one thing, Albus, but if we stick to the letter of the law, when our enemies completely disregard the spirit of it, then we’re only making an uphill battle for ourselves.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I must agree with Alastor. I hope you will all remain in the Order, on the condition that you boys register with the Ministry.” Sirius couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Not just yet, of course. We ought to be wary of the establishment, for now. As we all know, Voldemort and his followers have no qualms about the Imperius curse. But perhaps once the dust of this war has settled, I’m sure Minerva would be delighted to help you two.”

Sirius looked up at his old teacher who was giving him and James a stern nod. He couldn’t help but wonder if there might be a smile behind her tightly pressed lips.

James, Remus, and Sirius recounted the entire story, until everyone was satisfied with the details, and then it was Order business as usual. Nothing too noteworthy was discussed, although Sirius was glad to see that Dumbledore informed everyone on what they knew about the Dark Marks.

Afterwards, everyone stood around talking. Remus was talking to Alice, while the babies on their laps babbled at each other nonsensically. James was off with Lily, talking to Mrs. Figg for some reason. This meant, unfortunately, that Sirius was stuck by himself, explaining to Benjy Fenwick that he wouldn’t be able to come to his New Year’s Eve party after all. Benjy was a nice enough bloke, but unfortunately he asked why, and Sirius didn’t think “I have family visiting”--or any version of the truth, for that matter--would be believable. Luckily, at that moment, he was saved by McGonagall appearing over Benjy’s shoulder.

“Pardon me, Benjy, but I’d like a word with Sirius.” Benjy seemed to be just as shocked to hear his first name as Sirius was, but he stepped away to talk to Marlene and the Prewetts. McGonagall looked at Sirius in a slightly scrutinizing way, that made him feel fifteen again. “I have to say, I’m surprised at you, Sirius.” Sirius opened his mouth to apologize, but McGonagall continued. “That was extremely advanced magic for a fifteen year old. And I should know.”

“Oh. You’re not...upset with us?” Sirius asked. After the words came out, he couldn’t help but feel that it was a stupid question.

“Well, perhaps you could’ve gone about this all in a much more responsible manner, I’ll tell you that. But you had very noble intentions.” Sirius stared at her, shocked. Perhaps a part of him had still expected to be lectured for breaking the rules. Old habits die hard, I suppose. “I’m very proud to have had you boys in my house.”

Sirius beamed with pride at her words. “Thank you, Professor.”

McGonagall gave him a curt nod. “I have to say, you two have always had a talent for getting yourselves into and out of trouble.”

Sirius laughed, hoping she didn’t pick up on the slightly forced and nervous nature of it. If only she knew what else-and who else-they were hiding.

Chapter Text

December 30, 1980
The Potter’s House
9:39 PM

Regulus Black looked at the clock in the Potter’s kitchen, wishing everyone would hurry up and get home. He had been perfectly fine by himself for a while, and was prepared to get some reading done. He had only made it a few pages before realizing something was off with Kreacher. The elf usually remained still when Regulus was reading, but he had been incessantly fidgety.

It turned out to be completely normal on one level, and incredibly curious on another. It was a common case in house-elves that there are often times where an elf hasn’t been explicitly forbidden to do something, and yet knows that doing it would be against their master’s wishes. Or the reverse could be true, in which an elf believes they can do something their master would want them to, but cannot unless outright told. It usually wasn’t too big an issue from Kreacher, who had been an elf a long time, and was familiar enough with the family to make a judgement for himself. The issue was that Kreacher, in a roundabout sort of way, now served two conflicting masters.

If Kreacher wasn’t already biased toward Regulus, he’d probably have to adhere more strictly to Mother’s orders. As it was, this particular situation was simply a small hiccup caused by Kreacher’s continued forced loyalty to her.

After wrestling with wording a bit, Regulus was able to get Kreacher to tell him what he had overheard. And Merlin, was it big. Kreacher had listened in while Mother was having tea with Cissa and Bella. Regulus continued pouring over his notes, trying to fit in what he’d just found out.

Kreacher had to go back to Grimmauld to prevent Mother getting suspicious, but before he could, Regulus asked the elf to scatter his notes over the Potter’s kitchen table, floor, countertops--any available surface--so he could read over them by himself. He began to make plans, before remembering that they couldn’t go any further until the others got back with the Order’s verdict.

This thought had led to the exact type of thoughts Regulus had been trying to avoid all night. All day, really. Sirius could go to Azkaban. Regulus would never see his brother again. He’d lose him all over. And if Sirius died there...that’d be it. Forever. There would be no meeting on the other side for them. Sirius would go on to Grandmother’s garden, or whatever it is that comes next, and Regulus would be forced to stay behind on Earth. He knew that, when he chose to be a ghost. Or at least, he would’ve, if he’d even thought about it. Truth be told, making up (or even interacting) with Sirius hadn’t been in the cards until after the fact, when Regulus knew he and Kreacher weren’t getting anywhere alone.

But Regulus had enjoyed having his brother back, if only for two days, and now he didn’t want to lose him. Unfortunately, it seemed a pretty open and shut case if they needed to inform the DMLE. Which according to Sirius and James, they did.

The living room fireplace roared with the unmistakable sound of floo travel, and Regulus looked up from the notes he had never really been looking at in the first place. He was about to find out. “Hello?” someone called. Potter. So far, so good. Regulus glided through the wall separating the kitchen from the living room, and sure enough, there was Sirius.

“Oh, thank Merlin!” Regulus said in relief. “They let you off? How? Why?”

Sirius grinned. “Aww, were you worried about me, Regs?” he teased.

Regulus scowled at him. “I needn’t have been,” he remarked coolly, putting his proverbial mask back up, and berating himself for wearing his emotions on his sleeve like a sodding Gryffindor.

“And why’s that?” Sirius asked, a fairly obnoxious expression on his face.

“Oh, just stop you two,” Lily said dismissively, cradling Harry in her arms. “Of course Regulus was worried,” She may have been trying to help, but Regulus really wished she wouldn’t. “Anyone would be worried, I was worried. And if you two could knock it off for two seconds, I’d suggest that we celebrate.”

“Here, here!” James chorused. “I think I’ve got some Ogden’s somewhere.” He left the living room in search of said Ogden’s, Remus following, and Lily heading upstairs.

Sirius hung back for a moment. Regulus crossed his arms defiantly, not meeting Sirius’ eyes. “I just would’ve missed you, okay?”

“Okay,” was all Sirius said at first. He seemed a little shocked. “I’d have missed you, too, Regs.” Regulus gave a half smile at the words, and was about to make his way out of the living room. “You know there’s nothing wrong with that, right?” Regulus furrowed his brow, and looked at Sirius curiously. “I mean...it doesn’t make you weak or whatever. Having feelings. I shouldn’t have teased you for it.”

Regulus felt incredibly transparent, no pun intended. That was one thing he’d have to get used to again, if he’d be spending time with Sirius. His brother could read him like an open book. Regulus was never sure if Sirius was simply that good at seeing through his facade, or if he let his guard down just enough with his older brother.

Sirius’ eyes were still on him, and Regulus was debating what he should say in response when Potter’s voice echoed through the house. “What is this?”

Regulus had no idea what he was talking about, but then he remembered. The kitchen...my notes...I never picked them up...well, how could I? No longer worried about Sirius, or Azkaban, or any of it, Regulus found the whole situation incredibly funny. He grinned before taking the shortcut--also known as a wall--to the kitchen. There, he met a furious James Potter, staring at the parchment that was practically wallpapering the room.

Regulus smirked. “Well, the thing is, Potter-”

“What did you do to my kitchen, Black?” Potter demanded. He looked slightly murderous, to be honest. To the extent that Regulus sobered for a moment, before remembering he couldn’t be murdered. Remus stood in the doorway, clearly torn between laughing, and not wanting to face Potter’s rage for himself. Sirius and Lily approached him from behind, taking in the sight for themselves, and smirking.

“As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me,” Regulus began. Sirius, Lily, and Remus exchanged a look behind Potter’s back, and Lily had to stifle a laugh. “I was trying to get some research done this evening, as some new information has come to light. When Kreacher had to leave, I suggested he spread out my notes, so I could look at them by myself. Clearly, I had more notes than I originally thought.”

Remus snorted, and Potter continued to glare. “Clearly,” he muttered disdainfully. Sirius seemed to be enjoying himself, and looked at Regulus with what might have been admiration.

“Yes. But...well, you know how house-elves can be. So here we are.” Regulus held out his arms, gesturing to the room at large.

“You’ll have to forgive James,” Lily said, trying not to sound too amused. “He’s rather particular about the kitchen. Does all the cooking.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “I see,” he said casually. “I didn’t realize you were a househusband, Potter.” Sirius and Remus lost it then, roaring with laughter.

Potter glared at his friends, which only encouraged them. “Could’ve at least cleaned it up,” he muttered.

Regulus smirked. “Oh, how rude of me.” He made to grab a page off of the table, his hand passing through it.

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Potter grumbled. “Sorry, Regulus. Can someone just-”

The papers flew into the air, and organized themselves into a stack, before landing in the center of the table. Potter turned to Remus, who was still holding his wand, and evidently had been the one to do the spell. “Is your tantrum over now, househusband?” he asked innocently, walking past him into the kitchen.

“Excuse you, Lupin, I’d be an amazing househusband!” Potter declared indignantly.

“No, love,” Lily said, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. “You are an amazing househusband. Now, get the firewhiskey, will you?” Potter pouted a bit, but complied, and began pouring the four of them glasses.

“Did you say there’s new information, Regulus?” Remus asked.

“Yes!” Regulus lit up as he remembered what he found out. “You see, Kreacher was-”

“Regs,” Sirius interjected. “Let’s worry about that tomorrow? We have plenty of time, and we were stressing ourselves out all day. Let’s celebrate for once!”

Regulus looked at him. Surely he couldn’t mean that? They had work to do, they could celebrate when the war was over.

Sirius, once again able to tell what he was thinking, interrupted his thoughts. “You need to slow down, Regs. You’re gonna crack under all this pressure.” Regulus couldn’t help but feel that there was an unspoken “again” in Sirius’ words. Of course, that just proved Sirius was right.

“Fine. So, how did it go tonight?” Regulus asked.

“Well, all credit to Sirius, he was amazing,” Potter said.

“Really?” Regulus asked.

“Your confidence means the world to me, Reg,” Sirius joked. Regulus held up his hands in defense.

“He was brilliant,” Potter insisted. “I mean, we were both rather panicked, but Sirius just kinda...snapped out of it. Started talking strategy, and the advantages it would have for the Order. He got Mad-Eye on our side, and then Mad-Eye got Dumbledore.”

Regulus looked Sirius over. It sounded incredibly out of character for him, but Regulus was impressed nonetheless. It was a puzzle though, it didn’t seem like the way Sirius would go about it. In fact… Regulus smirked. “What?” Sirius asked, when he saw the expression.

“How very Slytherin of you,” Regulus teased.

Sirius’ face flashed with confusion, before settling on looking annoyed. “You take that back!” he demanded.

“It’s not an insult,” Regulus said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, but...still.”

“So eloquent.” By this point the others were looking between the two Blacks, intrigued, and slightly amused. “Just admit it, you’ve got some Slytherin in you,” Regulus insisted.

Sirius frowned at the accusation, but then his face lit up as if something had just occurred to him. “You’re one to talk, Lionheart.”

Regulus scoffed. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

Sirius grinned. “We’ll see about that,” he said, trying to sound mysterious. Regulus rolled his eyes. Sirius was such an idiot sometimes.

“Alright, shall we have a toast?” James asked, passing around glasses of firewhiskey.

Remus raised his glass. “To the kindest, yet stupidest thing James and Sirius have ever done. May they continue to get away with it.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Sirius exclaimed, clinking his glass with James’.

Regulus was feeling a bit of an outsider, to be truthful. As if she were a mind reader, Lily gave him a sympathetic look, nodding at the three boys, and rolling her eyes. Regulus smirked. A year ago, he never would have imagined himself celebrating with four Gryffindors. No, this certainly hadn’t been in the cards when he first chose to return.

Chapter Text

December 31, 1981
The Potter’s House
8:24 AM

James Potter had woken up at six that morning, when his son started crying. He’d let Lily have a lie in, and went to take care of Harry. Now, he was downstairs flipping pancakes and humming “Here Comes the Sun” while Harry sat in his playpen, which James had moved into the kitchen.

“Morning, love,” Lily said, walking into the kitchen. She was still in her pajamas, and her hair was all rumpled up. She makes bedhead look good, though, James thought.

“Hello, darling. Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Mhm,” Lily murmured, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around him. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”

James laughed. “It might have come up once or twice. Y’know, in passing.”

Lily smiled, and pressed a kiss against his neck. “I love you.”

James beamed at the words as if he was hearing them for the first time. “I love you, too, Lil.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay, James. If I’d lost you…”

“But you didn’t,” James cut off. “I’m fine, Sirius is fine. We’re gonna be okay.” Harry made some unintelligible baby noises from his playpen. “See?” James asked Lily. “Harry agrees with me.” Lily laughed, and stepped back, grabbing a plate of pancakes off the counter.

“Mmm,” she said, taking a whiff of her breakfast. “I knew I picked a good househusband.”

James rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna kill Regulus for starting that joke.” He then suddenly realized what he said. “Oh crap! I didn’t mean...I just forgot. Crap, don’t tell him I said that! Or Sirius, Sirius would hex me into next week.”

“I won’t,” Lily agreed, before thinking aloud, “It really is hard to remember, sometimes. I’ve never seen a ghost so...alive. He’s just normal.” James nodded. “Anyways, speaking of Sirius hexing you into next week, Arabella Figg is dropping off the cat today.”

James groaned. “Why do I have to be the one to tell him?”

“Because he’s your best mate,” Lily answered. “Don't worry, I’ll take care of telling Marlene.”

“Yeah, but Marlene’s not gonna take it personally. You have met Sirius, right?”

Lily laughed. “Good luck, Potter.”

“If you didn’t look so pretty, I’d revoke your pancake rights,” James threatened, waving a spatula at her. “What time is Mrs. Figg coming by?”

“She just said ‘in the morning.’” Lily replied with a shrug, sitting down at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, but in old lady terms, that could mean anything. They don’t sleep till a reasonable hour. She could be on our doorstep as we speak.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, James. Anything worth reading in the Prophet?” she asked, picking that day's newspaper up off the table.

“Never is.” He finished the last pancake, and put it onto his own stack.

“Hmm,” Lily muttered in agreement, skimming the pages. “Well, I suppose it’s better when they’re quiet. Should I get changed?” she asked, looking down at her pajamas.

“After breakfast,” James suggested, sitting next to her with his own plate.

They sat in silence a bit, eating their breakfast, and listening to Harry make baby noises from his playpen.

“Do you think we ought to talk about the prophecy?” Lily asked after a while, setting down the paper.

“Sure,” James agreed, a little surprised. “What’s bothering you about it?”

Lily frowned. “Well...nothing, I guess. Just the whole thing. And we never talk about it. It’s not gonna just go away, James.” Lily seemed pretty frustrated about it.

“I know that,” James insisted. “But I don’t want to just...not live a normal life because of it.”

“James, please!” Lily snapped. “We are so far gone from ‘normal life’ by now, it’s laughable. Or have you forgotten?”

“I haven’t forgotten anything, Lil, I just never feel like talking about it!” James defended.

“So?” Lily challenged. “Are we just gonna ignore it until we feel like talking about it? Because we’re never gonna feel like talking about it, James. I can tell you that right now.”

“Fine, then let’s talk about it,” James shot back.

“Fine.”

They stared at each other in silence for a while.

James took a deep breath. “Have you heard back from Pandora?” he asked, running a hand through his hair anxiously.

“Not yet,” Lily answered. James could read on her face that she was nervous. “I mean, she might not even be allowed to tell us anything. So I don’t know if we should count on that.”

“Yeah,” James agreed, slightly dejected. “Hey, you don’t think she might know anything about horcruxes, do you?”

Lily’s brow furrowed as she thought it over. “She might. No one knows what goes on down there, apart from that they’ve got the Hall of Prophecy. The only thing I don’t know is how you’d subtly ask such a thing.”

“What, you mean we shouldn’t mention our resident former-Death-Eater-ghost to your friend who works at the ministry?” James asked facetiously.

Lily smiled a little. “Not just yet,” she replied cheekily, finishing her pancakes.

“What else can we do, love?” James asked. “I don’t want you to be worried. We can tighten our wards, in fact we probably should. And I’m sure having a kneazle will help.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah, the wards would be good.”

“Brilliant,” said James, standing up and clearing their plates. He kissed the top of Lily’s head. “I’ll look through some books tomorrow. Why don’t you go get changed?”

She agreed, and went back upstairs. James gave the dishes a quick Scourgify, and picked Harry up, bouncing him gently. “You excited to meet the cat, buddy?” Harry made a happy sort of noise in response, which James took as a yes. “Yeah. You hungry, bud?” Harry, of course, didn’t answer. James looked at the clock. It had been nearly three hours, Harry was probably hungry again. James pulled a bottle from the fridge, and cast the warming charm.

About fifteen or so minutes later, Harry was nearly finished with the bottle when the doorbell rang. Lily came downstairs, dressed for the day, her hair braided to the side. “Is that her?”

“Must be,” James answered. Harry began crying, and reached his small arms out to Lily. “You want Mama? Yeah?” He handed him off to Lily. “Here you go, apparently he’s already picking favorites.”

Lily laughed. “Daddy’s sensitive isn’t he?” Harry had stopped crying, and babbled in response to Lily as she walked to the front door. James followed behind them. Lily pulled open the door to reveal Mrs. Figg, holding a cat carrier in one hand, and a box in the other arm, precariously balanced against her side. “Hello, Mrs. Figg!” Lily said brightly. “Come on in. James could you get that box?” James stepped forward to take it. It was filled with cat food, treats, and a few toys. He brought it into the living room, and set it on the couch.

“Now, that in the box is the best type of food for him,” Mrs. Figg was saying. “And you can just get more at the Magical Menagerie.”

She put the carrier down on the living room floor, and opened the front. An orange ginger cat walked out of it. It was incredibly fluffy with a bottlebrush tail, and what James thought was the ugliest face he’d ever seen, on a cat or otherwise. “What happened to his face?” James asked.

“James!” Lily hissed.

Mrs. Figg, however, laughed. “Oh, no dear, that’s simply the kneazle in him. He’s just fine.” James wasn’t so sure about “just fine” but the cat certainly seemed to be acting normal enough.

After Mrs. Figg had walked them through the basics, and they saw her out, James laid down on the couch, Harry on his stomach, while Lily put out some food for their new cat. “What should we name him?” Lily called from the kitchen.

“Ugly,” James suggested.

“James!”

“What? Am I the only one who saw its face?”

“Oh, are we naming people after their faces now, Four-Eyes?” Lily teased.

“First of all, ouch,” James replied, in mock hurt. “Second of all, since when is the cat a person?”

“Oh, nevermind, we’ll figure out a name later. When’s everyone coming over to plan?” They had scheduled yet another day of research and planning to destroy the horcruxes. Everyone was especially anxious for it, as Regulus had apparently learned some new information from Kreacher.

“Probably in a few. Sirius will be early, probably, seeing as he practically lives here.”

Lily nodded. “Well, I wanted a nice wedding. Couldn’t spend all that money on the surgery to get you two unattached at the hip.”

“Evans-”

“Potter,” Lily corrected.

“Right. Potter. You’re hilarious and all, but if I don’t take a nap now, I might have to resort to hooking the coffee pot up to my veins.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Get some rest, Drama Queen. I’ll take Harry.”

Before she could, however, the doorbell rang. “Or, you know,” James continued. “I could just resort to murdering Sirius.”

Lily laughed as she stood up and walked to the front hall. “You know you’d miss him too much.”

“But he doesn’t need to know that,” James elaborated. Then, for the benefit of his son, he added, “Don’t worry, kiddo, I’m not really gonna murder your godfather.” Harry giggled. “What do you think of the cat, buddy?” James asked him. Harry didn’t say anything. “I think he’s a little ugly, but your mum says-”

James was interrupted. “What cat?” he heard Sirius ask. James held Harry to his chest, and sat up. Sirius was standing in the doorway to the living room.

“Oh, hey mate,” he said casually.

Sirius walked towards him. “Don’t ‘hey’ me, James. What cat?” Sirius repeated, now standing behind the couch.

“Sirius, hypothetically, if Lily and I were to get a cat-” he was interrupted again.

“You got a cat?” Sirius asked, outraged.

“You guys got a cat?” Regulus asked Lily. The two had just appeared in the living room doorway. Lily nodded. “That’s fun,” Regulus said. “I’ve always liked cats.” Sirius glared at him. “What?”

“I’ll deal with you later,” he said before turning back to James. “I can’t believe you got a cat?”

“Whatever happened to ‘hypothetically’?” James asked. Unfortunately, his statement was made null and void when the extremely-not-hypothetical cat sauntered into the living room.

Sirius glared at it for a few seconds, before his face changed to utter confusion. “What did you do to it’s face?”

“I didn’t do anything!” James insisted. “It’s just like that!”

Sirius took an exasperated breath before continuing to glare at James. “So not only did you betray my trust, and our sacred friendship by going behind my back to get a cat, but you didn’t even have the decency to pick a good looking one?”

“I didn’t choose him!” James insisted. “Lily, help me out here!”

Lily sighed. “Mrs. Figg gave us one of her half-kneazles for protection. His face just looks like that, because he’s part kneazle. No, James didn’t choose him. And for the love of Godric, he’s not trying to offend you, or replace you, or whatever your over-dramatic dog-brain thinks he’s doing.”

Sirius sighed, and said, reluctantly, “Fine. I guess I forgive you, mate.”

James beamed, and stood up to give Sirius a hug.

“And they’re always like this?” Regulus asked Lily.

“You’re not off the hook, Reg. Since when have you ‘always liked cats’?” Sirius demanded.

“Um, since...always? Was that not clear?”

Sirius looked like he had something else to say, but the doorbell rang again, and Lily went to get it.

“You guys can sit down, y’know,” James offered. “We’re trying to decide on names for the cat.”

“You should name it after our grandma Irma,” Sirius suggested. “Kinda looks like her.”

Regulus covered his mouth with his hand, and his shoulders were shaking a bit. “That’s not very nice, Sirius,” he reprimanded half-heartedly.

“Oh, please, Regs. I can tell you’re laughing. Cause you know I’m right.”

Regulus recovered, and turned to James. “Our maternal grandmother wasn’t...the most attractive,” he said, fairly.

“Big understatement,” Sirius put in.

“As you can imagine,” Regulus continued, “that’s where Sirius gets it from.” James laughed. It was weird to think this was the same kid he’d known at school.

“You look just like me, squirt!” Sirius shot back.

“Except three years younger,” Regulus pointed out.

Sirius paused for a second. “What? Three? Oh.” Realization dawned on his face. “That’s not funny, Regs,” he said, sobering.

Regulus shrugged. “It’s true.”

In an attempt to break the suffocating silence, James muttered “it’s a boy cat, anyways.” The statement was met with only an awkward nod from Regulus.

Remus and Lily walked into the living room then. Lily looked around, confused at the changed atmosphere. “Whoa, who died?” she asked. James winced. He looked at Lily, and waved his hand across his throat in a “stop talking now” kind of motion. Lily caught his eye, and looked between him and Regulus before smacking herself in the face. “I am so sorry, Regulus. I really didn’t mean...that was a stupid thing to say, I’m sorry.”

Regulus Black really didn’t care. Everyone else needed to chill the heck out, in his opinion. He’d been dead for a whole year already, it wasn’t like it was still a sore spot. (Most of the time, he thought in the back of his mind.) But knowing Sirius, Regulus figured bringing that up would be the opposite of helpful. They’d all sat down in the living room, Regulus simply floating in a sitting sort of position.

“I really am very sorry,” Lily said, for what--with all due respect--Regulus believed was the fifth time.

“It’s fine, Lily, really. I don’t care,” he insisted (for the fifth time). “It’s more Sirius who gets upset about that, and that’s simply because he’s overdramatic.” Sirius, who was immersed in a discussion of cat names with Remus and Potter, thankfully didn’t hear that.

“Regulus,” Lily began. “I don’t want to intrude, but I think it bothers him.”

“What, my being dead?” Regulus asked. “There’s not exactly much I can do about that.”

“I mean...I don’t think he’s being overdramatic.” Regulus raised a brow. This was Sirius they were talking about.

“You don’t?” he asked sceptically.

“I think he just...worries about you. I suppose it’s not really my place. You might have better luck just talking to him.” It was a kind suggestion, but Regulus had no intentions to take it to heart.

Talking wasn’t really the way he and Sirius operated. Both of them just preferred to ignore those things. Every now and then it’d become too much, and they’d have a fight about it, but that was really the extent of their talking. Although, come to think of it, Sirius had suggested that they talk about things. He didn’t see why, as their usual approach seemed to be working well enough.

But it’s only a matter of time before you have another big fight, a voice in his head said. Like the last one. And then it’ll all be over again.

Regulus shook it off. He wouldn’t let it happen. He wouldn’t do anything to make Sirius that mad. That fight had only happened because he joined the Death Eaters. But he and Sirius were on the same side now. He’d be fine. He wouldn’t let there be another fight. Not of that magnitude.

He was shaken from his thoughts when the cat entered the room, and James and Sirius began loudly calling various (absolutely terrible) cat names, to see what he responded to. The cat ignored them all, and instead leapt up onto the arm of the chair, before swiftly jumping into what should have been Regulus' lap. It shivered, and leapt onto the floor. It simply sat and stared up at Regulus, who stared back, flummoxed.

“He likes you,” Lily said, smiling. “And he’s part kneazle, so I guess he trusts you, too.” Regulus frowned and looked quizzically at the cat. Why would the cat trust me? he wondered. It wasn’t that Regulus was inherently untrustworthy. It was just that the cat ought to at least have been a bit suspicious, right? After all, I’m...myself. Perhaps it was simply more cat than kneazle.

“Reg?” Sirius asked. Regulus looked away from the cat and saw Sirius giving him a slightly too prying look. “Where’d you disappear to?”

“Nothing,” Regulus answered. “Um, I...Kreacher found out some stuff. About the horcruxes.” Sirius nodded at him to continue. “Mother had our cousins over for tea yesterday...”

“Two of our cousins,” Sirius corrected, a tad bitterly.

“Yes, two of our cousins,” Regulus corrected before continuing, “And Bella mentioned that the Dark Lord had given her a golden cup to guard in her vault at Gringotts. And, as it turns out, the Blacks have a far more secure vault than the LeStranges, and Mother suggested she move the horcrux. Well, neither of them know it’s a horcrux, but I’m fairly certain.”

Sirius frowned. “So now we have to break into a higher security vault?” Regulus raised his eyebrows. He knew Sirius couldn’t really be that stupid.

“It’s your vault, idiot, we’re not breaking in anywhere,” Regulus explained.

“It’s the family vault,” Sirius corrected. “And I’ve been disowned.”

“Yes and no.” Sirius frowned, confused. “You did leave-”

“I was kicked out!” Sirius interrupted.

“Okay, fine. You were kicked out,” Regulus amended. “That doesn’t change anything. Mother-” He was interrupted again.

“What do you mean it doesn’t change anything?” Sirius snapped. “Don’t tell me you’re still mad that I left, I’ve told you I didn’t-”

Regulus sighed, before raising his voice over his brother’s. “It doesn’t change anything about the vault, Sirius. Can you let me finish?” Sirius crossed his arms, but gave an apologetic look. “Either way, you aren’t disinherited. You’ll still have access to the vault. And Gringotts won’t be able to tell Mother anything, because you’re the eldest male in the family after Grandfather, which means…”

“I’m the heir?” Sirius asked, dumbfounded. Potter was whispering to Lily and Remus, probably explaining all the pureblood traditions. To Regulus’ knowledge, the Potter’s had never followed them, but clearly still had some idea of how things worked. When Sirius recovered from the shock, he was just plain disgusted. “Again? I thought I was finally done with that crap,” he moaned.

Regulus winced. He knew Sirius wouldn’t like this, which is why he was going to ride his “we live in a patriarchy” excuse as long as he could. He took a deep breath, before speaking. “Yes, you’re the heir. Mother doesn’t know this, however, she thinks you’re properly disinherited and the fortune will go to Bella’s children.” Sirius’ eyes widened, and Regulus knew exactly what he was thinking. “Should Bella have any sons. She doesn’t yet,” Regulus reassured. Sirius sighed in relief. “It’s crucial Mother doesn’t find out you’re heir, she could go through Grandfather to disinherit you again.”

“Again? I thought you said I never was?” Sirius challenged.

Regulus tried to cover quickly. “Right, that’s what I meant.”

“No, it’s not.” Curse Sirius for knowing him so well. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Oh, just family politics stuff,” Regulus dismissed. “You wouldn’t care for it, you never did.”

“Regulus,” Sirius said, firmly. “Tell me.”

“Father wrote you out of the will when you left,” Regulus stalled.

“I’d already figured as much. There’s something else, what are you hiding from me?” Sirius was getting more agitated the longer Regulus held out. Meaning he had to say something at some point.

“When I was...making plans, to...retrieve the horcrux,” Regulus paused for a second, which he instantly regretted.

“You mean die?” Sirius translated, crossing his arms. “How long were you planning for?”

“Yes, I was planning to die. Excuse me for trying to phrase it delicately when you got mad at me for being too cavalier on the topic only minutes ago.” Sirius looked a bit sheepish at that. Even he, apparently, couldn’t deny the hypocrisy. “You’d think a man would have some say in how he’s allowed to discuss his own death,” Regulus muttered, rather cynically. “But, as I was saying, I was making plans, and seeing as Father had passed away a few months ago, I was in charge of family affairs at the time.” Regulus tensed, bracing himself for Sirius’ reaction before saying, slightly rushed, “So, I wrote you back into the will.”

The room was silent enough one could hear a quill drop. And then: “Why would you do that?” Sirius asked, evenly, clearly trying not to be mad.

“I was trying to...I don’t know. Make things up to you?” Regulus offered. Why does it matter why I did it? he thought. It’s going to help us anyways, why do we have to talk about me being all sentimental?

“By giving me something I never wanted?” Sirius asked hotly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think...I mean, it’s not as if I told Mother. She’s not going to force you into it, it won’t be like before. Can’t we just focus on the horcrux?” Regulus asked. “Please?” he added, his voice weaker than he wanted it to be.

There was a beat before Sirius muttered “We’re talking about this later.” Regulus nodded, hoping that would be enough to placate his older brother.

Silence.

“Do you know when it’s being moved?” Remus asked.

Regulus shook his head. “I’ll keep Kreacher on the lookout. And once it moves we may need to wait awhile, so no one suspects anything if they notice it’s disappearance.”

“Could you make a fake?” Lily suggested. “You said you did that with the locket.”

“Yes, I suppose that would work. The goblins might be able to tell, but with Sirius as acting patriarch-” Sirius gave an angry huff, which Regulus chose to ignore. “-there’s a chance they’d have to keep that confidential if he asks them to.”

“Well,” Lily commented, to no one in particular. “Who’d have thought the patriarchy would come in handy?” Regulus smirked. Lily seemed to be growing on him.

“Was there anything else?” Sirius asked, clearly still irritated.

Regulus tried his best to ignore his brother’s attitude. “Yes, actually. Narcissa mentioned that Lucius was given a horcrux as well. Well, she didn’t say ‘horcrux’, naturally, she didn’t have any idea what it was. Apparently it’s a small black book, Lucius is keeping it in his study.”

“How are we gonna get that?” James asked.

Regulus smirked bitterly. “Family reunion?” he suggested, twisted irony in his voice.

That seemed to be what it boiled down to. Despite an hour or so of brainstorming, during which they laid out plan after plan, they came to one, fairly unhelpful, conclusion. Despite Regulus’ knowledge of the place, there was simply no subtle way to break into Malfoy Manor.

At one point, Regulus even wondered if he were to come clean to his cousin...show himself as a ghost...explain what he’d learned: the horcruxes, the Dark Lord’s identity...Where would Narcissa stand? The two of them had always been close, and he liked to think his cousin would do the right thing. Narcissa may or may not still believe all the blood mania they’d been taught, but would that matter? Regulus knew family always came first for her. At least it had two years ago. Regulus could see, as he laid this all out in his head, it was coming down to the question of whether that meant Blacks or Malfoys. And will I get a chance to find out?

Chapter Text

December 31, 1980
Sirius Black’s Flat
7:16 PM

Sirius Black followed his brother into the flat, slamming the door behind him. Regulus turned at the sound. “Was that really necessary?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow with a note of superiority.

“Yes,” Sirius answered, sounding a tad like a petulant child. “What the heck, Regulus?” he asked.

Regulus seemed taken aback. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Haven’t you?” Regulus shook his head. Sirius exploded at him. “You put me back in the will! Have you forgotten already?”

“Oh. That.”

“Yes, that,” Sirius snapped back. “Why would you do that to me, Regulus?”

“Why does it bother you so much?” Regulus challenged.

Sirius scoffed. “I- It doesn’t- I’m not…bothered.” Truth be told, Sirius didn’t know how to explain what it was that bothered him.

“Right,” Regulus agreed, nonchalantly. “And because you’re so ‘not bothered’ over the situation, you’ve decided to yell at me over it.” If Sirius had had any idea what to say, he would’ve been cut off by his younger brother. “No, no I get it. Just yelling at me for fun, then? Nothing’s been bothering you, so you just thought you’d resort to your favorite childhood pastime?” he posed the question with a sweet innocence that couldn’t have been further from accurate.

What on Earth was that supposed to mean? “Yelling at you was not my favorite-”

“That’s irrelevant,” Regulus interrupted, as it was apparently obvious where the sentence was going. “My point is, you’re clearly bothered over the will. Why?”

Sirius didn’t know where to begin to explain his problems, let alone to Regulus. He didn’t know how his little brother had gotten the upper hand in this conversation. Nor did he know why Regulus used that hand to turn the subject to Sirius’ feelings of all things. “I’m not bothered,” Sirius tried again, stronger than before, and yet just as ineffective.

“And I’m not a ghost,” Regulus remarked. Sirius frowned slightly at the statement. Did Regulus not realize how wrong it felt, to hear that? “Aha!” Regulus exclaimed. “I knew it!”

“Knew what?” Sirius asked, not following where the conversation had gone.

Regulus was studying him curiously. As if Sirius was a fascinating book or a puzzling arithmancy problem (not that Sirius knew how arithmancy worked, because it was for nerds like his brother). “I’m what’s bothering you,” Regulus accused.

“Um, duh?” Sirius answered. “Did you figure that out before or after I slammed the door, Sherlock?”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “No, I meant that you’re…” he paused. “Sherlock?”

Sirius huffed. Surely he himself had never been that clueless about muggle culture. “Just nevermind ‘Sherlock’. You were saying something about how you’re constantly bothering me? And how you think this is new information?”

“That’s not what I said!” Regulus argued, sounding younger all of a sudden. He took a breath and continued. “Sirius...does it bother you? That I’m dead?” What kind of a stupid question is that? “Is that why you were so upset about the will?”

“Regs, of course I’m-” Sirius paused, as the second question registered. “The will?” he asked. There were a lot of thoughts in his head about that will, but he’d yet to see it as any sort of reminder of Regulus’ death. He didn’t really need to, as Regulus took care of reminding him all on his own.

Regulus nodded. “You seem to be upset that I died, and I was wondering if the will might have...I don’t know.”

Sirius sighed. Regulus was the smartest idiot, sometimes. “The will is a whole other situation,” he explained, without really getting into it.

“Oh?” Regulus coaxed, attempting to take a sharp turn down this lane of conversation. And Sirius, becoming more frustrated the longer he thought of it, gave in.

“It’s about you...dragging me into all that family stuff again.” Regulus wrinkled his brow in confusion. “I just wanted out of there, Reg! I wasn’t like you, I didn’t want to be the heir. I left for a reason.” Regulus winced, but Sirius ploughed on. “Yeah, she asked me to take the Mark. But once I left I realized I was better off. I was free, Regs! I was done with lineage, and dinner parties, and balls, and dark magic...and you want to drag me back to all that? With this stupid inheritance?”

“That’s not what I was trying to do!” Regulus insisted, defensive.

Sirius glared at him. “What were you trying to do, then?”

Regulus sighed, and anxiously ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Sirius. I wanted to do something nice for you? Since everything’s so...screwed up between us.” Sirius couldn’t deny him that. Their relationship had been on the rocks for ages. Until a few days ago, they hadn’t even talked for two years. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Yes, apparently a lot of things seemed like good ideas at that time,” Sirius remarked coolly. This didn’t help matters. Regulus began fiddling with his robe again. Sirius noted the panic in his brother’s eyes, although the rest of Regulus’ face remained passive. Sirius was rather glad he hadn’t given away how he really felt on the matter, either. Because, truth be told, Sirius was far from calm and collected whenever the subject of Regulus’ death came up.

Then, Regulus spoke up. ‘Spoke up’ was the wrong way to put it, perhaps, but Regulus, at least, finally said something. “I don’t regret it.” His voice was soft, but there was conviction there. Sirius watched his brother’s face, which twitched into a grimace for a moment, as if imagining something unpleasant. “I’d even do it again,” Regulus added, just as soft, yet with the slightest bit less conviction this time.

“What?” Sirius asked, the word escaping his mouth out of shock, before he had even really thought about what had been said.

“I have a lot of regrets, Sirius, but going to that cave…” Sirius was frantically shaking his head. Couldn’t Regulus understand? He didn’t want to hear this, no one wanted to hear this about someone they cared for. Someone they loved. “It’s the only time in my life I’ve done the right thing.”

“That’s not true, Regs,” Sirius pleaded.

Regulus shook his head. “It is. And I’m okay with that. Well...not okay with it. But I won’t deny it anymore.”

“You were nice to house-elves,” Sirius said, but even he knew how half-hearted the comment was.

Regulus gave a very un-Regulus laugh. “Very true. If only I’d figured out how to be nice to people, hm?” Sirius gaped a bit at the comment. “So, yes, Sirius, a lot of things did seem like a good idea at the time. I regret volunteering Kreacher, I should’ve been more careful. I had no idea my friend’s life was in jeopardy. However, everything that came of it? That is far less regrettable. It is the only honorable thing I’ve done.”

“What about everything else? Trying to finish him?” Sirius asked.

Regulus nodded. “Fair. I suppose,” he gave a smirk that was slightly unsettling, “it was the only honorable thing I did with my life.”

“Regs!”

“What?” Regulus asked innocently.

“How many times do I have to ask you not to say things like that? You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what? Why you freak out every time you remember I’m dead?” Regulus asked, his tone growing more irritated as he went on. “No, I don’t get that. It’s been a year, Sirius!”

Sirius felt as if a knife that he didn’t know was in his chest had suddenly been twisted. Was Regulus telling him to...get over it?

He didn’t say anything for a while. Neither of them did, they simply looked at each other. Both of them confused, and for entirely different reasons.

“That’s not how this works, Regs,” Sirius said eventually, when the lump left his throat, and he felt he could actually speak. “I can’t just...stop caring.” I tried once.

Regulus seemed taken aback, and stammered “I’m not saying- I- It’s been a year,” he repeated, weakly.

“I know, Regs, but…” Sirius paused. How do I explain this? Sirius wondered. And more importantly, why can’t he figure it out? “You have no idea what it did to me.”

Regulus Black had died. Somewhat willingly. And he was okay with that, mostly. It hurt, of course, and actually being dead was another thing, but all in all, “I don’t regret it,” he told his brother. That was one thing he was certain of. “I’d even do it again,” Regulus added, cursing his voice for the way it wavered. Because sure, if need be, he would, he wouldn’t even think twice--well, actually, he probably would, but no more than he had the first time--but the actual thought of everything in that cave…

The potion, and everything that came with that. The lake, and the drowning, and the dizziness as he tried to hold his breath. The thrashing of the inferi, eventually giving up when they couldn’t drag him down, and resorting to tearing at his skin. He’d do it again, he knew that. But what would a second time do to him? All these thoughts ran through his head in a matter of seconds. It amazed Regulus sometimes, how quickly things got dark in there. The potion was the most torturous thing in that cave, for that exact reason.

“What?” Sirius asked, drawing him out of his reverie.

“I have a lot of regrets, Sirius,” That was all too true. Again, he remembered that horrible potion. He’d have taken twice the burning in his throat to have seen none of that memory. “But going to that cave,” he continued. He realized Sirius was shaking his head rapidly, eyes wide, like he was in some sort of danger. What that meant, though, Regulus had no clue. Either Sirius had gotten harder to read...or Regulus had forgotten how. Regulus wished Sirius could just understand, and it was this thought that led him to finally say what he was thinking: “It’s the only time in my life I’ve done the right thing.”

“That’s not true, Regs.”

“It is,” Regulus corrected with a shake of his head. “And I’m okay with that. Well...not okay with it. But I won’t deny it anymore.” Can’t deny it anymore, he added in his head.

“You were nice to house-elves.” It was a weak argument at best, and even Sirius had to know it. Regulus laughed a little, at how messed up it all was. Sirius seemed a tad bewildered that he’d laughed at all.

“Very true,” he said at length. “If only I’d figured out how to be nice to people, hm?” Sirius seemed even more shocked at the cynicism. Regulus took a breath before attempting to explain things further. “So, yes, Sirius, a lot of things did seem like a good idea at the time. I regret volunteering Kreacher, I should’ve been more careful. I had no idea my friend’s life was in jeopardy.” He remembered Kreacher that night, curled into a ball, shivering and shaking from the cold and from fear. He pushed the image out of his mind, and tried to remember there had been one advantage, at least. “However, everything that came of it? That is far less regrettable.” Regulus finally managed to look his brother in the eye, and say: “It is the only honorable thing I’ve done.”

“What about everything else? Trying to finish him?” Sirius asked.

Regulus had to agree with that. He gave a nod. ““Fair,” he said. “I suppose it was the only honorable thing I did with my life.”

“Regs!” Sirius exclaimed, clearly irritated, though it wasn’t abundantly clear as to why.

“What?” Regulus asked.

“How many times do I have to ask you not to say things like that? You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what? Why you freak out every time you remember I’m dead?” he challenged, because no, Regulus didn’t get it. He didn’t get why it was such a big deal to Sirius. “No, I don’t get that. It’s been a year, Sirius!”

Sirius went quiet. Regulus stared at him, unsure of what he had said wrong. He wondered if he’d done it again. He had told himself he wouldn’t let himself get into another fight with his brother, and only hours later he went and did exactly that. He didn’t know what he’d done, but he’d clearly messed up. He felt the phantom sting of that potion in his mouth as he realized he’d just handed Sirius another reason to leave him. He should have gone with Sirius then, because he couldn’t this time. This time it was Regulus’ fault, and there was no way he’d get a choice in the matter.

“That’s not how this works, Regs.” Regulus flinched when Sirius spoke up, wondering if his brother had read his mind. “I can’t just...stop caring.” Regulus blinked at him, unsure if this was real. Had Sirius known what he was thinking? Or was he simply referring to what Regulus said earlier?

“I’m not saying- I- It’s been a year.” His voice was weak, and shaky, and everything he hated sounding like. Regulus hadn’t asked him to stop caring. He simply thought that Sirius would have...adjusted. Come to terms with it, or something.

“I know, Regs, but…” There was a pause. Then: “You have no idea what it did to me.”

Regulus looked down at the floor. He had wondered what Sirius would think. If he’d be sad. Never had he thought it would be to a large extent. “I’m sorry.” Regulus didn’t know what else to say, really.

“It’s fine. I mean...not fine, but, like, I wasn’t- I didn’t mean- It’s not your fault, Regs. Don’t apologize.”

Surely that can’t be what he really thinks. “What about before?” Regulus asked, his voice too small. “That first night, when I showed up,” he added, trying to sound louder, and normal, this time.

“What about it?” countered Sirius.

Surely he remembers. “You said…” Regulus would rather not repeat it. He really tried not to think about what Sirius had said. He was scared of what he’d find in his own head if he did. “That I should have tried harder, to make it out.”

"What?"

The last thing Regulus wanted was to have to repeat everything Sirius had said on the topic. "I didn't try hard enough to survive. So you think I'm...suicidal."

Sirius gave a sigh, and ran a hand through his hair. “Regs, I...don’t think that.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “No?” He fixed Sirius with a look, hoping it was compelling enough to get him the truth.

Sirius did, indeed, seem to squirm a bit. “Well, I mean, I do…worry about you. And you have to admit that some things you’ve said are, well, worrying.”

“You...you can’t really think that I’m-” But aren’t you? a voice in his head asked. Regulus stopped looking Sirius in the eye, and focused on his robe sleeve, toying with it, and welcoming the small distraction.

Not that it was nearly distracting enough.

Was he really suicidal? Or had he been? What tense should he even use, or does it even matter? Sure, he hadn’t minded going to the cave too terribly. He had come back though, to be a ghost. He had wanted to keep...well, not living, per say, but he’d wanted to keep on with whatever you called what he was doing. Yeah, but that wasn’t for you, said the voice, that was for the horcruxes. It was a thought that Regulus didn’t realize he had been avoiding. He hadn’t wanted to die, really. He just wanted everything in his messed up life to end. Was there a difference, though?

“Regs?” Regulus flinched, remembering he wasn’t entirely alone with his thoughts. Sirius had remained silent while Regulus was thinking, but now he finally spoke up, his face worried, and confused. “You alright?” There was genuine concern in his voice, and Regulus didn’t know how to react to that. Regulus turned his attention back to his robe sleeves, still feeling Sirius’ eyes on him. “Regs, talk to me,” Sirius pleaded. “Say something.”

“I’m fine,” Regulus told Sirius’ floor.

Sirius gave an exasperated sigh. “Okay, say something believable.” Regulus looked up briefly to fix his brother with a glare. Sirius stood his ground. “It’s written on your face, you're not fooling me. Tell me what’s wrong.” Regulus felt a rush of frustration at himself for being so easy to read. Apparently, he could keep his occlumency shields up around the Dark Lord, but his brother, of all people, could get past his cool, passive exterior. “Please,” Sirius added.

Regulus looked at Sirius. Saw the worry behind his eyes, the slightly dark rims under them--not that Regulus had ever been one to judge on this matter--that meant his brother wasn’t sleeping well, lately (That’s probably my fault, he thought). The way he wore a grim, concerned expression, and yet quirked his mouth up on one side, in an attempt to be more inviting, to get Regulus to finally open up to him. He was hoping that Regulus would finally spill everything.

And Regulus could no longer look Sirius in the eye, and say that his brother would be so cruel as to use Regulus’ feelings as a weapon against him. And with his last excuse out of the way, Regulus opened his mouth to tell Sirius...something. It wasn’t as if he had any idea to begin, but before he could even worry about starting, Regulus Black did something he hadn’t done for a year.

He broke down.

He felt tears in his eyes, welling up so fast he couldn’t stop them. He tried to wipe them off his cheeks with his robe sleeves, but they kept falling. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him, and now, in front of Sirius. He had just wanted to talk to his brother, not...this. His face was growing hot in embarrassment, and he kept it hidden in his sleeves. He’d cried a few times in the past few days, but only a few stray tears. This fit was on par with that in the cave a year prior, a thought that sent Regulus a bit further into distress.

“Regs, take a deep breath. Look at me.” Regulus shook his head, and then immediately hated himself for feeling like he was eight-years-old again. “C’mon, Regs, just take your face out of your hands. You’re fine.” He noticed how quickly Sirius’ voice had taken on that reassuring quality from when they were younger.

Regulus relented, and looked up at Sirius. “I didn’t mean to-”

Sirius smiled gently. “I know. It’s okay.” He reached out, and tried to put a hand on Regulus’ shoulder. “You’re gonna be fi- Circe, that's cold!” He withdrew his hand quickly, having realized his mistake. Sirius laughed, a bit forced, and Regulus could tell he was trying to ease the tension. Regulus gave a sheepish smile in return. “Do you want to talk?” Sirius offered.

Regulus frowned, sceptically. “Do we have to talk about...all of it?” he asked. Agrippa, he hated how his voice sounded when he cried.

Sirius shrugged. “We’ll talk about whatever you want,” he suggested diplomatically. “But I don’t want you bottling this up anymore, okay?” There it was. The catch. Regulus tried not to be bothered by it, as he still hadn’t sorted out what he did and didn’t want to talk about. Sirius, to his credit, didn’t say anything just yet. He simply turned, and gestured for Regulus to follow, as he led the way to his living room, where they sat down--or whatever Regulus does now--on the couch.

Regulus, having given up on his dignity, at least for the time being, asked the first question that came to his mind. “Does it really matter, anymore? I mean, I might be suicidal, and I might not be, but...who cares?”

Sirius frowned. “I care. I’m sure Kreacher cares. Lily, and James, and Remus all care. The sodding cat cares, it seems.”

Regulus shrugged. “Yeah, but apart from just knowing one way or the other,” which, truth be told, was eating him alive from the inside, now that he’d opened that Pandora’s box. At that thought: Would Pandora care, too? taunted a side of him that he hadn’t listened to in years. Regulus pushed that from his mind, and focused back on the conversation at hand: “Is there any point? I mean, I’m already...dead. And stuff.” He was trying to be a bit more tactful about the whole ordeal, for his brother’s sake, but the attempt flopped miserably. Maybe it would be easier when he wasn’t talking about feelings, and being all ‘vulnerable.’ Sure, it was probably better than privately stewing on it all, but he was still way out of his depth.

“True,” Sirius acknowledged, his voice measured, as he took care with his words. “It’s about more than that, though. It’s about...you. Being healthy, being happy.”

Regulus gave a weak laugh through his tears, which in hindsight, he probably should not have done, if Sirius’ face was anything to go by. Happiness, Regulus had always thought, was a luxury he had not been able to afford for some time. Happiness had never been how he operated. He’d always put others’ happiness above his own, but seeing as that usually meant his parents, he knew it was out of fear and not selflessness. “I’m not great at being happy,” he told Sirius, sardonically.

Sirius seemed taken aback at the genuine nature of the statement. “Well, we’ll...figure it out, then. I just want you to be able to...talk about stuff. You kind of...avoid people, Reg.”

Regulus was well aware of that. More often than not, he was avoiding people on purpose. “Yeah, I know,” he relented.

“Regs,” Sirius looked him directly in the eyes. “You’re gonna be okay. Alright? It’s all gonna be fine. I promise.”

Regulus frowned, and--now that his guard was down--said exactly what he was thinking. “We don’t have a good track record for promises.”

Sirius gave a weak laugh. “Godric, Regs, what do we have a good track record for?” Regulus had to admit that was fair. “We didn’t have a good track record for interacting with each other. Or for talking about...heavy stuff. But here we are. We’re awful at promises, but we’ll get there just like we got here. Promise.”

Regulus nodded. Apart from the potentially paradoxical nature of Sirius making a promise after what he just said, Regulus had to admit it was reassuring to hear all that from his brother. “Okay then.” There was a beat of silence. “Thanks, Siri.” Regulus was suddenly acutely aware of his own use of the nickname, and wasn’t sure whether or not he ought to be embarrassed.

Sirius beamed. “Anytime, Regs.” He reached out an arm, before stopping. Regulus saw his brother’s face change as he remembered.

“Were you about to try and hug me?” Regulus asked, his voice flat.

“Um, yeah,” Sirius muttered.

“Well. That’s…” Regulus actually had no idea what it was, and left the sentence hanging, limply. He had never really been a fan of physical affection-y sorts of things. He wasn’t used to it, as his parents were never...that sort of parents. It was so…alien to him. He didn’t understand it, and he didn’t like things he couldn’t understand, because he didn’t like to be bad at things.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, flatly. “Yeah, it is.”

Regulus’ vehement protest of all sorts of physical interaction aside, in all honesty, he might not have minded too terribly if Sirius had given him a hug. Not that he’d admit that to Sirius, seeing as it was rather embarrassing.

“It’s fine, Sirius. Don’t worry about it.”

Chapter Text

December 31, 1980
Benjy Fenwick’s House
11:54 PM

Remus Lupin did not want to be here, tonight. His social life had been significantly dull lately, due to the dismal state of the wizarding world. Not that it had ever been all that thrilling. So he’d been looking forward to Benjy’s new years party. And then, last night, everything changed. Namely, he had told the entire Order about his lycanthropy. For better or worse, people seemed to be ignoring him, and avoiding the topic should they actually talk to him.

He had hung around James and Lily--and Harry, as they hadn’t been able to find a babysitter--for most of the night, before Harry got fussy, and they decided it was best to head home. At which point Remus tried to leave as well, before getting forced into a conversation about quidditch (of all the things! He didn’t even play quidditch!) by Gideon and Marlene. Eventually, the two began vehemently arguing over the skill of one team or another, and Remus was able to slip away.

He was about to leave, when he ran into Alice and Frank. He’d talked to Alice last night, and she’d been awfully kind about the situation. Well, perhaps kind was the wrong word. He recalled her exact words as: “Don’t let Edgar get to you, Remus. Everyone here knows you’d wipe the floor with him in a duel.” Which was reassuring in it’s own way. They had somehow convinced him to stay, and that’s how he wound up here.

Listening to Marlene--who was slightly tipsy--shout at Gideon--who was equally inebriated--about how girls are way better than boys at quidditch, and would he like to (here she used a few obscenities) take this to the nearest pitch, or did he want to be a little (here she made an extremely creative and poetic rhyme for “pitch”).

The whole thing might’ve been a lot more funny had it been just a normal new year’s eve. Remus was alone, though, and now everyone knew he was a werewolf. The whole situation was painfully awkward, but what bothered him more was how much less awkward it would be if his mates were here. It might even be funny, then. The way James would carry on with Gideon and Marlene about quidditch. The way Sirius would give Edgar threatening looks, and continuously suggest that they curse him for the singular comment he’d made yesterday. The way Peter would laugh, and encourage them both, to the point where Remus and Lily gave each other that look they always felt the need to give each other around James and Sirius.

“Who’s your money on, Remus?” Frank asked, stirring him from his thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, definitely Marlene.” Frank nodded in agreement.

“Poor Gid doesn’t stand a chance,” said Alice.

“Where’s Neville?” Remus asked after a beat.

“My mum’s watching him,” Frank replied. “Wanted to give us a night off.”

“Wanted to make sure I do things her way, more like,” Alice muttered, bitterly, as she took a sip of her beer. “Apparently I shouldn’t be feeding him solids, yet. Which, y’know, it’s not what the healer said, but I guess Augusta Longbottom-”

Frank cleared his throat to interrupt. “My mother can be a bit...erm, she’s what you might call headstrong. Much like Ally. They tend to butt heads.” He kissed his wife on the forehead, and she tried to scowl, to little avail.

“I know, love,” Alice sighed. “Sometimes it can just be a bit-”

“The Harpies aren’t even that good, Marlene!” Gideon shouted, drawing the whole room’s attention.

Marlene opened her mouth to retaliate when Fabian spoke up. “Shut up, Gid, you like the Cannons!” he called across the room. Everyone laughed, before returning to their own conversations.

Remus checked his watch (a hand me down from his father, which he’d received on his seventeenth birthday) and announced to Frank and Alice “It’s nearly midnight.”

His watch read eleven fifty-eight, and just as the second hand went round again, Benjy stood up on the coffee table in the center of the living room. He put his wand to his throat, assumedly for a mild sonorous charm.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” he announced, energetic as usual. “Thank you all for coming tonight. I’d like to propose a toast: to nineteen eighty-one!” The group cheered. “And to nineteen eighty! Give it up for nineteen eighty!” It was met with applause from everyone. Remus marveled at Benjy’s optimism. He continued, a bit more somber, “We’ve done a lot of fighting this year. We’ve lost lives...but we’ve gained them, too.” A cheer from Frank and Alice. “And so, again, I propose a toast to nineteen eighty-one! May it be the year that ends this war, once and for all!”

There were cheers around the room, and everyone held their rinks aloft as they echoed “To eighty-one!”

Benjy turned his attention to the large grandfather clock in the middle of his living room, and they all followed suit, watching the second hand complete another lap.

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

There were shouts and cheers around the room, bottles clinking, laughter, and mirth. Remus noticed Frank pulling Alice into a deep kiss, and wondered how he had become friends with so many amorous couples, before stepping away to give them some semblance of privacy.

Even Remus, who was slightly cynical about New Years on the whole (honestly, the world wasn’t going to change because of the Gregorian calendar), found himself feeling hopeful. Granted, that probably had more to do with their plan than it did with the coming of a new year, but all the same, it was nice to have that kind of hope going forward. It had been awhile since he’d had that. He hadn’t even realized it was missing until he felt it again.

Chapter Text

January 1, 1981
The Potter’s House
11:35 AM

Sirius Black let out a heavy sigh. They weren’t getting anywhere as far as figuring out how to get into Malfoy Manor. Regulus knew the private floo address, which would be a lot more beneficial if they knew what sort of wards Lucius had put on the fireplace.

“And even then,” Regulus pointed out, “his study’s on the fourth floor, adjoining the master bedroom. The private floo comes out in a separate parlor, but it’s still on the ground floor. If we could-” Regulus stopped abruptly. “I’m an idiot. I’m such an idiot, I can’t believe I forgot! Narcissa gave me the floo address for one of the guest rooms ages ago.”

“That just puts us in the same place, doesn’t it?” Remus asked.

Regulus shook his head. “No. For one thing the guest rooms are on the third floor, so we should be able to make it before anyone’s alerted. Not to mention there aren’t any harmful wards on bedroom fireplaces, just notification wards.”

“Brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed. “We just need a way of knowing when they’re out of the house.”

“Kreacher can help with that. Besides, should we not get there sooner, Aunt Druella’s birthday is at the end of the month, I bet they’ll go to Black Manor."

James cleared his throat. "And once we have all of these horcruxes...what do we do with them?"

Sirius frowned. "I suppose we'll have to use fiendfyre,” he answered, dejected.

Regulus nodded, looking a tad sheepish. “It’s that or basilisk venom, and where in Salazar’s name would we get that?”

No one bothered to answer the clearly rhetorical question, and there was a short pause before crying was heard from upstairs. Lily gave a heavy sigh, and laid her forehead on the kitchen table. “You’re up, James.” James groaned, and reluctantly stood up. “He’s started teething,” Lily said into the table by way of explanation.

The crying continued, and grew louder. It was joined by an incessant tapping, and Sirius saw there was an owl at the window. He went to open it, and the bird--a silvery grey pygmy owl--hopped onto the windowsill, and then onto a small perch Lily had put there for this exact purpose. It held out a leg, and Sirius detached the letter, addressed to Lily. “It’s for you, Red.”

Lily gave a noncommittal hum, and sat upright to sip her coffee. “Oh, brill, it’s from Pandora,” she said upon opening it.

She perused the letter as Harry’s screaming turned to gentler sobbing, the (relative) silence only broken by Regulus, tentatively asking “Pandora...Emerson?” Sirius gave his brother a scrutinizing look. He barely knew Pandora himself, but he hadn’t thought Regulus would have known her, either. Although they had been in the same year, come to think of it.

“Lovegood, now. But yes, it’s from her,” Lily answered. “You know her?”

Perhaps Sirius imagined it, but Regulus frowned, and seemed to stiffen a little. “Yeah. Knew her, more like. She married Xenophilius, then?”

“Yes,” Lily replied. “Just last summer, it was lovely.” Remus nodded.

“Very nice,” Regulus commented, awkwardly. “Good for her.” Sirius raised his eyebrows in the silence that followed. He’d always gotten the impression Regulus hadn’t had many friends in school, and that the ones he did were other Slytherins, in the same vein as their family.

“I didn’t know you two were friendly,” Remus mused, voicing Sirius’ thoughts.

“Yes, well she was in my year. We had classes together. Prefect patrols.” Regulus seemed a tad defensive, in Sirius' eyes. Like he needed to justify a friendship with anyone outside the pureblood circle. He cleared his throat, and said, with more confidence, “Far more important than my acquaintances from school, however, I think we ought to get back on the subject of horcruxes. One of you will need to learn fiendfyre, as obviously I myself can’t.”

“I was actually wondering,” Lily interjected. “Whether or not I could ask Pandora about the horcruxes? You see, she’s working in the Department of Mysteries, and I thought-”

“She’s an Unspeakable?” Regulus interrupted.

Lily nodded. “Yeah, she’s loving it.”

Regulus smiled. Almost sadly, Sirius thought. “Wow, good for her. Do you...think we can trust her? To help us with the horcruxes? I haven’t talked to her in years, but she was always very…” he trailed off. “Well, what goes on in the Department of Mysteries is a secret, of course. I mean, everyone knows they’re researching, but no one knows what. We do know it’s centered on magical theory. And there are rumours that they focus on the complexly simple aspects of the universe. Time, space, death, life. That sort of thing. Singular, yet multifaceted, ideas, that no one fully understands.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his younger brother, amazed, yet again, at his knowledge and enthusiasm. He spoke with such genuine excitement about things as complex as magical theory. “How do you know all this?” Sirius asked.

Regulus’ face colored a bit, and he looked at the floor. “I wanted to be an Unspeakable. Before...everything.”

“I never knew that,” Sirius muttered. How could he have not known that? How is it that he knew so little about his own brother?

“Well, no, you wouldn’t have,” Regulus replied simply. “It was just a pipe dream, really. Nothing of consequence. One of those crazy ideas you get as a kid.” Sirius frowned. Regulus brushed it off so easily, but the way he’d talked about the Department of Mysteries...Sirius could tell he was enthralled at the prospect of all that unexplained magic. “So do you reckon we can trust her?”

Lily and Remus exchanged a look. “I think so,” Remus answered. “She’s not in the Order, but she’s an ally of sorts.”

Regulus nodded, and seemed to be thinking it over. “Hold on,” Sirius remarked, giving his brother a scrutinizing look. “Are you planning on telling her...everything? Everything-everything, about the Death Eaters, and the cave, and...you’re a ghost.”

Regulus shrugged. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. If she’ll keep it a secret, I’d like to see her. If she wants to see me. It would just...make things less complicated. If I didn’t have to avoid her, or whatever.”

“Were you two...very close?” Sirius asked. He tried to recall ever seeing Regulus and Pandora around the castle together. He remembered a few instances of running into them patrolling, but that was it.

A few abstract emotions passed over Regulus’ face. “Not since I...turned sixteen.” He gestured uncomfortably at his left arm. “If we ever were before that,” he added, uncertainly. “If you’re all alright with it, I’d love her help. With the horcruxes.”

Sirius shrugged. “If you trust her, Reg. It’s up to you.” Although privately, there was something about it that rubbed Sirius the wrong way.

Lily nodded. “I’ll write her back.”

Regulus looked panicked, suddenly. “Well don’t say-”

“I know, Regulus,” Lily interrupted. “I’ve sent several letters during this war. I won’t give anything away.”

James came downstairs then, a sobbing Harry in his arms. “Think he’s hungry, Lil. Who are you writing?” he asked, walking towards the fridge.

“Pandora,” Lily answered, not looking up.

“Oh, brilliant. Did she say anything about the prophecy?”

James was searching for a bottle of formula in the fridge, and didn’t notice the atmosphere change until Regulus asked “What prophecy?” James froze for an instant, like a deer in the headlights, then stood up, stiffly.

“I-” he was looking between his wife and his mates for help.

Lily sighed. “I suppose now’s as good a time as any.” She turned to Regulus. “There’s a prophecy, concerning Harry. It says that he’s supposed to defeat Voldemort.” Regulus looked skeptically at the infant in James’ arms. “But Voldemort knows about it. He wants to kill Harry before...before Harry can kill him, I suppose.”

Regulus frowned in thought. “When you say ‘concerning Harry’...what does that mean. Prophecies are rarely that specific, you need to know the exact wording.”

“Dumbledore never said…”

Regulus smacked a hand to his face and groaned, cutting James off. “Of course it’s Dumbeldore again! What has he told you?”

James gave an angry huff at the interruption. “Lily already told you everything.”

“That’s all you know? Salazar, that’s...not great.” Regulus gave a heavy sigh, and continued. “Alright, well...the stakes are a bit higher, then. And we’ll need to figure out the exact wording of that prophecy. It might not even have anything to do with your son. Of course, if we can destroy the horcruxes before he comes after you, it won’t matter much. Unless...no he couldn’t. There isn't. Is there?” he asked Sirius.

“Is there what, Reg? You’re talking to yourself,” Sirius pointed out.

“Right. Is there...some other way he could come back? After we destroy all the horcruxes?” Regulus seemed genuinely nervous.

Sirius frowned, unsure. “He could...have more horcruxes?” he offered. “Or maybe he could be a ghost?” he suggested. Regulus laid his head on the table, and began muttering under his breath, cursing out ‘the universe and all laws that govern it’ or something like that. It wasn’t entirely clear to Sirius whether it was the idea of more horcruxes or that of Voldemort as a ghost that had done it, but Regulus seemed to have hit a limit. “Regs?”

Regulus sighed, and looked up. “Alright. I suppose we need a plan, in case there are any more horcruxes. I’d be more than happy to meet Pandora, I think that’s in the best interest of everyone…”

“Regs,” Sirius said, getting ignored, much to his irritation.

“...providing she keeps things under wraps. We’re gonna need to know everything she’s allowed to tell us, and some of what she isn’t. Probably a lot of what she isn’t, actually. Don’t put that in the letter,” he added hastily. “One of you should probably learn to use fiendfyre as soon as possible, whoever’s up for it.”

“Regulus.”

“Maybe you should all learn, I don’t know. Actually, you know what, yes. Yes, you should definitely all-”

“Regulus!” Sirius interjected. This time, it had the desired result. Regulus stopped mid-sentence, and looked at him curiously. “Slow down, Regs, okay?”

“Sirius, we can’t just sit idly by, and ‘take things slow’ in a sodding war!” Regulus snapped.

“I’m not suggesting that,” Sirius replied. He looked Regulus firmly in the eye. “What I’m suggesting is that you slow down, and try and think of solutions before you panic, instead of while you panic. You’re smart, you can figure this out, don’t stress yourself out over it.” Regulus nodded, a bit dumbfounded at the forcefulness with which Sirius was reassuring him. Or perhaps simply shocked that the two attitudes went together, and so naturally, at that. “That being said,” Sirius continued, “You don’t have to plan everything yourself. There are four other people here who want to end this war just as much as you do, you need to let us help you. Got it?”

Regulus stared at him, slightly shocked. “Got it,” he answered.

Chapter Text

January 3rd, 1981
The Potter’s House
12:47 PM

Lily Potter opened the front door to find Pandora standing on her doorstep. Lily thought she ought to be shivering, wearing a flowery maternity dress, and sandals on her feet, and yet she simply beamed at Lily. Which really, was the sort of thing Lily had come to expect from her.

“Hi, Pandora! It’s so good to see you again, you look wonderful!” Lily greeted. “Oh, please, come in,” she added, waving her friend through the door.

“Thank you. It’s good to see you, too. Hello, James!” The last was, of course, directed at James, who had just stepped out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

“Hey, Pandora. Do either of you want tea?” he asked. “Remus was just about to make some.”

“Remus is here?” Pandora asked.

Lily nodded. “And Sirius. We have a...project of sorts that we’re working on.” She turned to James. “I’ll have some tea. Pan?”

The other woman nodded. “Yes, that sounds lovely.” They made their way into the kitchen, and exchanged pleasantries with Sirius and Remus. After a brief silence, Pandora asked “So what’s this project you’re all working on?” She reached for one of the books on the kitchen table. “May I?”

Sirius looked to his friends for help, but no one was entirely sure what to do. “Um…sure?” he answered.

Pandora grabbed the topmost book--one of the ones about horcruxes--and began flipping through it. Her eyes widened. “This is very…” she trailed off, and looked between the others in the room. “Which of you does this belong to?” No one said anything, but they all looked at Sirius, either because they expected him to explain, or because that was the closest thing to the truth. Lily figured he’d want some say in how they explained the situation. Pandora narrowed her eyes at him. “You aren’t...considering doing this are you?”

Sirius was affronted at the accusation. “What, making one?” Pandora nodded. “Of course not! I’d never. I’m not heartless, and I’m not a fool.”

Pandora flipped through the book more. “What’s this for then?”

“Research,” Sirius said dismissively.

“Researching what?” Pandora asked, becoming more persistent, in her own subtle way.

Lily sighed. “There’s a lot we need to explain. Sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she offered, trying to be hospitable before the conversation turned too dark.

When they were all settled, and silence fell again, Pandora was the first to break it. “Why are you lot messing around with horcruxes?” Lily would say this: she didn’t beat around the bush.

“Messing around is...a strong turn of phrase,” James placated weakly.

“Not wholly untrue, though,” Remus put in. “We’re trying to destroy them.”

Pandora’s brow furrowed. “Why? Whose? How do you have them in the first place?” After a pause, she muttered “them” She turned to Lily, shocked. “There’s more than one?”

“They’re Voldemort’s,” James answered. “It’s why we’re losing the war. He can’t die, and we don’t know how many he made. As to how we found them…” he trailed off, and looked to Sirius again. Everyone followed his gaze.

Sirius kept his face plain, empty of emotion. Lily was struck by how much more he resembled Regulus with that look. “Someone I know…” he began cautiously. “Found one. And we’re looking to help them destroy it.”

Pandora looked suspicious. Anyone would be, there was clearly more to the story. “Someone you know simply happened upon a piece of You-Know-Who’s soul?”

Sirius frowned. “They went after it. They had their suspicions, and they retrieved it from it’s hiding place.”

“Who is this person?” Pandora asked.

Something flashed across Sirius’ face. It might’ve been pride. And suddenly it was gone again. “We can’t tell you. Not yet.”

Remus gave Pandora a sheepish smile. “We’d like your help. But if you can’t, then we’d rather not...divulge too much.”

Pandora considered it for a moment. “I’ll help. With research, at least. I’ve got a baby on the way,” she put her hand protectively over her stomach, a motion Lily recognized from herself a little under a year ago. “I don’t want to be duelling, or doing anything too dangerous.”

“Of course,” Lily answered. “I get that.” Not that she’d slowed down any, when she had Harry. But fighting back was her own way of protecting him. She had seen it in James, who’d been more reckless than her to begin with, and became more cautious on missions as their family grew.

“And you won’t tell anyone?” Sirius asked.

Pandora frowned. “What about Xeno?”

“Not if he’s gonna publish anything about it,” James answered. “If he keeps it quiet...I suppose that’s fine.” The four of them looked between themselves, and nodded at each other.

“Well, I suppose I’m in, then.” Pandora looked between them curiously. “And you’re sure your information comes from a reliable source?”

Sirius gave a small, condescending snort. “Very sure.”

“Who is it?”

“My brother,” Sirius answered dryly.

Pandora actually looked at James for a moment, as if she expected him to come clean that he was the elusive source who’d stumbled upon a horcrux. Lily wasn’t aware that she’d known how close James and Sirius were. Although Pandora was observant. She picked up on things like that. After a moment of silence, she turned back to Sirius. “You don’t mean Regulus?” Sirius simply nodded. “He’s dead.”

Sirius tensed. “He is. He...came back. He’s a ghost.”

Pandora nodded. Lily marvelled at how quick she was to accept this, but she’d always had an interest in unusual, unexpected things. She seemed to be thinking this over, deciding what she wanted to say. She settled on “How is he?”

Sirius looked surprised at the question. “He’s...doing alright. Given everything. I mean, you can ask him yourself. He’s here. He said he’d like to see you.”

Regulus Black was fairly nervous. He hadn’t seen Pandora in years, not since they graduated. And now he was preparing to see her again. Everyone else was in the house, explaining things to her, while he waited outside for the rest of them.

The waiting was what got to him the most. He couldn’t stop thinking about the Pandora he knew in school, and who he’d been in school, and all those moments between them.

He remembered that last interaction, as they stood by the lake, waiting to board the boats. They had been avoiding each other for the past few years, but she tapped him on the shoulder, and they congratulated each other cordially. She wished him well, and said maybe they’d see each other in the Department of Mysteries sometime. Even as she said it, she glanced from his left arm, to his mates, to him. If he hadn’t known Pandora, he’d have thought she didn’t even believe there was a possibility.

But Pandora wasn’t like everyone else. Isn’t like everyone else. She was genuinely hoping for him to find...whatever it was eighteen-year-old Regulus had been looking for--apart from horcruxes, that is. She probably didn’t find it likely, just possible. She wasn’t stupid, she was just a never-say-never sort of person.

Regulus wondered if she’d ever thought she’d never see him again. He’d never asked her what she thought comes after death. If he had to guess, she’d be more likely to say something than nothing. She’d have loved Grandmother’s garden, Regulus thought. Circe, it was a beautiful garden.

The back door swung open, and Regulus grew more anxious. Sirius walked out, followed by James, Remus, and Lily. Then there was Pandora.

Pandora, with her endless positivity, and her constant awe at the universe, and her wearing sandals in January…and the indiscernible expression on her face. “Hello, Regulus.”

“Hello, Pandora,” he replied. “It’s been awhile.”

Pandora nodded, smiling. “It’s really good to see you again.”

“You too.” Salazar, why was this so awkward? “You’re an Unspeakable?” he asked.

Pandora beamed. “Yes! It’s so brilliant, Reg, I love it!”

“Great. That’s really...great.” Regulus gave an awkward smile. “Um, so what are the rules regarding...what you’re allowed to talk about?” Regulus looked over at where Sirius and the others were standing, only so he didn’t have to meet Pandora’s eyes. “Because we might need to break them.”

Chapter Text

January 3, 1981
The Potter’s House
2:25 PM

Pandora Lovegood couldn’t believe she was actually considering this. But this was the closest anyone had come to ending this dreadful war. And the Ministry was...shifty at best. There were plenty of rich purebloods in positions of power, solely for being rich purebloods. Pandora had a sick feeling that she knew which side they were on, no matter how much she wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Prior to the killings, approximately forty-two percent of wizards had agreed with You-Know-Who’s ideology.

So yes, she was actually considering this.

“I’ll find out what I can about soul magic,” she said at last, aware of the others’ eyes on her. They’d gone back into the kitchen, and had been sitting around the table discussing everything they knew, for about two hours.

Regulus smiled at her. “Thank you. So much.”

She nodded. “Sure. I don’t know what there will be in terms of dark magic. It’s essentially…” she swallowed, knowing this would be her first major breach in Unspeakable protocol. “It’s essentially magic at its core. Raw soul magic, not dark or light. Obviously we know of most of the dark uses, but actually having information on them is another thing. But if I can get a basic idea of the theory behind generalized soul magic, I’d like to think there’d be a way to apply it.” She gave Regulus a reassuring smile. “If all else fails, maybe I could at least do some research into ghosts.”

“Don’t trouble yourself with it,” he replied, dismissing it with his hand. “Although, on that note, is there anything on death? That could be useful as well, I’d assume.”

Sirius gave a heavy sigh, and rolled his eyes dramatically. “For you, or for the horcruxes?” he asked.

“For the horcruxes, of course,” Regulus answered. “I’m going to be staying a ghost, regardless of what magical theory there is behind how I got here. And,” he added, “Pandora’s probably going to research into it regardless of my opinion on the matter.”

Pandora let out a snort of laughter. “He’s not wrong,” she told the others. “I am genuinely curious about it. I’ve talked to Lady Helena before, but never about actually...being a ghost. I didn’t know if it might be a breach in etiquette, of some sort.”

“Who’s Lady Helena?” James asked.

“The Grey Lady,” Regulus and Pandora said at the same time. They exchanged a look. Pandora smiled. She’d really missed him.

Sirius screwed up his face in thought. “Helena as in...Ravenclaw?”

Regulus nodded. “The very same.” He entered into a discussion with his friends about the ghost’s identity.

Pandora sat back and watched him, in awe of how effortlessly he was himself. He’d explained a lot of things to her, earlier. About joining the Death Eaters, his change of heart, and what he’d finally done. Some of it was concerning. Most of it, actually. Although overall, Pandora was just glad Regulus had come around. Realized who he was, who he wanted to be, and everything that fell in between.

And she was glad to see him again. Even if things weren’t the same, she was glad he was back in her life. She hadn’t thought she’d see him again in her own lifetime. Yet here he was. It was like she always said, though. Things you lose have a way of coming back to you in the end. Just not always in the way you expect.

“Pandora?” Her thoughts were interrupted by Lily. “What about the Hall of Prophecy?”

Right, Pandora remembered, that’s what started all this. “A prophecy can only be retrieved by whoever it’s about. So it’s either that, or you can hear the whole thing from anyone who was present when it was made. Which, for you, is Dumbledore. Correct?” James and Lily nodded. “Well, you can talk to him.” Regulus was frantically shaking his head. “Or you could sneak your six-month-old into the Department of Mysteries,” she joked.

“Alright,” James mused. “Well, let’s not rule the last bit out just yet. But I suppose we could talk to Dumbledore.”

Regulus gave a skeptical look. “I know how you feel about him, Regulus,” Pandora said with a sigh. “But he’s still on your side. And really, it’s James and Lily’s decision.”

Lily chewed on her lip in thought. “It can’t hurt to talk to him about it. It’s not as if we’d be telling him anything he doesn’t know. Worst comes to worst, he won’t tell us anything, and it’ll just be further confirmation that we need to be cautious about him. Right?” She looked between her friends, and was met with several nods, some more reluctant than others.

Chapter Text

January 3, 1981
Sirius Black’s Flat
10:17 PM

Sirius Black sat on the couch, flicking through TV channels. Regulus was next to him, staring at the TV with confusion and intrigue. “So what’s with you and Pandora?” Sirius asked, trying to sound casual.

Regulus started at the relative silence being broken. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. You two...y’know.” Regulus looked at him with judgement. “You’ve got something with her. History.”

“Oh. Yeah, we used to be friends,” Regulus answered simply.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. “Please, Reg. I’m not an idiot.”

“That’s debatable,” Regulus muttered, turning his attention back to the TV. Sirius clicked it off.

“Hilarious,” Sirius muttered. “You know you can tell me anything, Regs.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing to tell, Sirius,” he insisted.

“So you’re not interested in Pandora?”

“Interested?” Regulus repeated, appalled.

“You don’t fancy her?” Sirius teased.

Regulus’ eyes widened, and he flushed. Who knew a ghost’s face could be that red? “Fancy her? I- She’s married, Sirius!”

“That’s not what I asked, though.” Sirius smirked at him, and Regulus squirmed a bit. He could sense he was hitting on something.

Regulus frowned, and gave an awkward laugh. “C’mon, Sirius, I don’t fancy Pandora,” Regulus insisted. Sirius bit his lip. “Stop laughing!”

“I’m not laughing!” Sirius laughed.

“Shut up, Sirius!” Regulus exclaimed.

“Godric, Regs,” Sirius teased, stifling a laugh. “You’re so flustered over this! It makes me wonder if there might be more to the story.”

“There is not! Merlin and Agrippa, why do I talk to you?” Regulus asked, probably more to himself than Sirius.

That didn’t stop Sirius from answering, cheekily, “Because I’m your favorite brother.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Stiff competition for that title?” he mocked.

“Well, I could be your favorite person,” Sirius offered. “Unless...Pandora’s taken that spot?”

Regulus gave a dramatic huff, and passed his hand through Sirius’ side. Sirius flinched away at the cold sensation. “Okay, okay! I’ll stop teasing,” he relented.

“Thank you,” Regulus muttered, floating back to his old spot on the couch.

Sirius smirked to himself. “Besides,” he added. “You’ve as good as answered my question, with all that blushing.”

Regulus gaped at him. “Wh- I- You-” Sirius gave him an innocent smile. “Shut up, Sirius.”

Sirius laughed. “Merlin, I forgot how easy you are to tease.”

“You said you’d stop,” Regulus complained.

“Did I? I have no memory of that.” Regulus crossed his arms and scowled. Sirius smirked. The look was just so incredibly familiar. So quintessentially Regulus. Sirius wasn’t usually all that sentimental, but the thought of a younger Regulus was just so...

“What are you smiling at?” Regulus demanded.

“Just you,” Sirius replied. Regulus arched an eyebrow. “That face...you look like you did when you were eight.” Regulus huffed, and muttered something unintelligible. “Y’know, you used to tell me things when you were eight.” Regulus rolled his eyes. Sirius gave a dramatic sigh, and reclined on the empty part of the couch. “And now you’re keeping secrets from me!” Theatrics aside, it really bothered Sirius. He hated realizing how little he actually knew about Regulus. Perhaps that was why he was so insistent to find out about Pandora.

“That’s not a new development,” Regulus pointed out, ever-so-tactfully. “And there’s nothing worth telling you.”

“That didn’t stop you when you were eight.”

“You’re impossible!”

“I know. But back to the topic at hand,” Regulus groaned. “What’s the story with you and Pandora?”

“Are you ever gonna drop it?” Regulus asked. Sirius shook his head. “Fine. We were...an item for a bit. In fifth year.”

“And?” Sirius coaxed.

“And that’s it.” Sirius raised a brow, giving Regulus a dubious look. “That’s it! Really.”

“I wasn’t born yesterday, Regs. There’s no way that’s it,” Sirius had noticed enough between them to be sure of that. “She calls you ‘Reg’ and you don’t let just anyone do that. And you two kept smiling at each other, and exchanging looks. Merlin and Morgana, Regs, there’s definitely more to it.”

Regulus sighed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal. Why do you care so much, anyways?”

Sirius winced. He didn’t know how to explain it, but he just...needed to know. Because he hadn’t even noticed when they were at school. There were so many things he didn’t know about his brother, and he needed to fix that, but Regulus wouldn’t tell him anything. “Just curious,” was all Sirius said. “I never realized there was a girl in the picture.”

“Who’s fault is that?”

Regulus Black apparently had a talent for massively screwing up. Just when things start going well for him, he has to go and ruin it. “Who’s fault is that?” he’d said. What a stupid thing to say. It was his sodding fault, and he knew it. That didn’t stop him from being a massive idiot, apparently. How long would it take for him to realize he couldn’t just...say things anymore? This was his last chance, if he screwed things up with Sirius again, it would be over. And he knew that, but he just couldn’t swallow his pride, it seemed.

“Sirius, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine,” Sirius interrupted, shortly. “You’re not wrong.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re not. I know I ignored you a lot. I never knew you dated anyone, or that you wanted to be an Unspeakable. I don’t even know how you did on your NEWTs!”

Regulus laughed. “I did terrible. Mostly As. A few Ps. D in History of Magic.”

Sirius looked shocked. “You? But you’re...you’re brilliant, Reg.”

Regulus shrugged. “I’d more or less given up by then. I was already in the Death Eaters. It was awful, Sirius, I think I knew that I’d die there. That or Azkaban. Nothing I’d need NEWTs for, anyways.” Sirius was giving him a sad look. “Sorry. I know you don’t like it when I…”

Regulus didn’t finish the sentence. It didn’t seem necessary, and he knew he wouldn’t choose the right words anyway. Better to leave it hanging like that. The silence was heavy, and Regulus felt the urge to break it again. “As for Pandora, that was...we were trying to keep it secret. It’s not your fault you didn’t know. It was unfair of me to suggest that.” He added, hastily, “I’m sorry.”

Regulus felt his stomach twist with anxiety. His thoughts were becoming less coherent, and his mind simply repeated, don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t leave. He was still too much of a coward to say it out loud, though.

It’s his flat, though, taunted that stupid voice in his head. If anyone’s leaving it’s you. Oh no. Oh Merlin no. Regulus couldn’t leave. He didn’t have anyone else to go to. Had he done it? Had he messed it up again?

“Regs? Earth to Regulus?” Regulus snapped his head up as Sirius’ voice registered with him. Sirius gave him a quizzical look, like he was trying to decide if he should ask.

Regulus saved him the trouble. “I’m fine,” he answered, shortly. Then, calmer, “I’m okay, Sirius. Really.”

Sirius nodded slowly. “Okay, Regs. Don’t get too lost in your own head there, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Regulus muttered reluctantly. Sirius flicked on the television again, clearly looking for something to fill the silence. And that was the end of that conversation. Regulus took a deep breath. He was fine. They were fine, for now.

Chapter Text

January 5, 1981
Hogsmeade
11:45 AM

James Potter popped into Hogsmeade, his wife apparating next to him. They had a meeting with Dumbledore today, and both were fairly uncertain about how it would go.

“You ready?” Lily asked. James shrugged. “Me too,” Lily sighed. They exchanged a look, and started up the path they’d walked a dozen times before.

“Do you think he’ll tell us?” James asked after a while.

“It’s anyone’s guess,” Lily answered.

As they drew closer and closer to the castle, they fell into silence, marveling at the beauty of Hogwarts in the wintertime. It was a sight that never got old. And like with so many former students, it reminded Lily and James of their own school days. When everything had seemed so complicated, but was so much simpler in retrospect.

They made it to the headmaster’s office in silence, content with their own reminiscences. James gave the password--Sugar Quills--which they’d received in a letter from the headmaster, in response to their request to meet with him. The gargoyle turned, allowing them access to the staircase.

“Do enter,” was the response when Lily knocked, and the young couple did exactly that. “Ah, James. Lily. How lovely to see you both,” Albus Dumbledore greeted from behind his desk. “Please, sit down.”

They did as they were told, and James did his best not to think about his own visits to this office during school days. Teachers had a nasty habit of making their former pupils feel like children again. In light of recent revelations, James couldn’t help but wonder if the headmaster was aware of this. Or if he utilized it. And perhaps it was an overreaction, to immediately jump to blame, but the choice between protecting his family or being rational was an easy one.

“Professor,” Lily began. “James and I have decided that it’s time we hear the entire prophecy.” James had nothing but admiration for his wife’s forwardness.

Dumbledore raised a sceptical eyebrow. “Have you now?”

“Yes.”

“I’m afraid I cannot help you. The prophecy is stored in the Department of Mysteries, like any other. I can only tell you, from my own memory, that it is referring to Harry.”

James glanced at the pensieve on the desk. He wondered if the headmaster knew that he knew what it was and what it did. He looked at Lily, a question on his face. Do we challenge him on that? Lily subtly shook her head.

James couldn’t help but agree. He didn’t want to give the man any more leverage, if this was how withholding he was. “Well. I guess that’s that then,” he began, preparing to stand up.

“That’s not all I’d like to speak to you about.” James froze. He felt like he’d been caught in an elaborate prank. There were any number of things they could be called out on. The horcruxes, Regulus, Pandora breaching her Unspeakable contract, and probably a fourth thing he was forgetting. “As you know, Lord Voldemort has been aware of the prophecy for some time. But it has now come to his attention exactly who it is about, and my sources tell me that there is a target on all three of you.” James and Lily let out small gasps, but let the professor continue. “I think it would be best if you went into hiding. Perhaps under the Fidelius Charm? I’d be more than happy to be your secret keeper.”

“We’ll talk it over,” James answered. “Is that all, Professor?”

Dumbledore nodded. “Yes, it is. My sincerest apologies I could not help with the prophecy.”

James pressed his mouth into a thin line, before returning his face to normal, and giving the old man a casual grin. “No worries, sir. I’m sure lots of people’s memories tend to go at your age.” He didn’t wait for a response, and instead linked his wife’s arm in his, and walked out of the office.

Lily Potter leaned towards her husband as he slid into the booth at the Three Broomsticks with their drinks.

“Well, I’d say that was a productive meeting,” James quipped. Lily laughed weakly. “So,” he continued, dragging the word out. “Where do we start?”

Lily exhaled heavily. “Prophecy?” she suggested.

James gave a nod of agreement. “Reckon Pandora would help us out?”

Lily shook her head. “She can’t get it for us, James, remember? It has to be the person it’s…” James had a thoughtful look on his face. “...about,” she finished. “James, are you actually considering-”

He interrupted her exasperated spiel. “Yes, I am actually considering. Have you considered it?”

Lily gave him a blank look. “James, it’s absurd!”

“It’s all absurd, Lily!” her husband countered.

Lily sighed, and turned the idea over a bit in her mind. “I suppose we could...look into it. We could talk over the logistics with Pandora. But!” she added hastily, giving James a warning look. “That doesn’t mean we’ll do it. We don’t know what’s down there, and if Pandora says Harry could get hurt-”

“Then we forget it,” James finished. “Agreed.”

“This is insane, James,” Lily muttered into her butterbeer.

“I know,” James answered.

“I mean...the Department of Mysteries!”

“I know!” James repeated, comically emphatic.

“It was so much easier at Hogwarts,” Lily muttered.

“Tell me about it.” James looked around the Three Broomsticks. “It feels like ages since I’ve been in here. We used to come all the time when we were dating.”

Lily frowned. “We didn’t date for very long, though.”

James’ face fell, and Lily winced. It was an idle thought, and it’d simply...slipped out. “What? You’re not saying...you don’t think we...rushed into this, do you? Got married too soon?”

Lily shook her head frantically. “No, no of course not! I love you, James! I just meant...nevermind.”

“No, not nevermind. What did you mean?”

“Nothing, just that...we could have had more time.”

“Could have?” James asked. “Lily, what are you talking about? We’re going to have more time. That’s how it works, love.”

“James, we both know,” the words stuck in Lily’s throat. She tried again. “We both know there’s a chance that we won’t.”

James winced, his confident exterior fading. "Maybe not, but Lily, we're not going down that easily, you and I. We're fighting! You know that." After a beat, he added, "Don't you?"

"Yes, James, I do, but I just...can't help but feel guilty. About how little time we've got."

"Guilty? Lil, it's not your fault.”

Lily sighed. “If I’d just said yes, all those years ago...we could have had more time together. I’m the reason that...that it took so long, James.” Lily hung her head, focusing on the wood grain of the table, and trying not to cry. “And now we won’t have....won’t have as much time.” A few stray tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Hey,” James said, his hand cupping her chin, and tilting her head up ever-so-gently until his eyes met hers. “You don’t really think that, do you, love?” Lily flicked her eyes. “Lily Evans--Potter, I mean--look at me.” Lily reluctantly met his gaze again. “You think you should have said yes in fifth year? You think you should have said yes to the little berk with a ginormous head, who cared more about the quidditch cup than the future?” Lily didn’t say anything, but she fought a smile. “Lily, you need to understand, I’m not who I am when I was fifteen. And if you said yes then, I don’t think I’d be who I am now. I know you love me...and I also know you didn’t love fifteen-year-old James.”

Lily gave a weak smile. “But-” she began. She was silenced when James’ lips gently met hers for but a moment.

He pulled back. “No buts. I love you Lily Potter. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, and I don’t care how long or short that is.”

Lily grinned back at him. “I love you too, James.”

Chapter Text

January 12, 1981
Gringotts Wizarding Bank
1:05 PM

“Sirius Black, Heir to the Black Family,” Sirius announced, with all of the elegance and confidence he’d been raised to conduct himself with. He presented his wand to the goblin, who took it with little more than a scrutinizing look.

“Very well,” the goblin, replied as he returned the wand. “What can I do for you today, Mr. Black?”

“I’d like to have a look at the family vault. Possibly make a withdrawal,” he was doing his best to sound casual. He wasn’t sure if his nerves were coming across, but it wouldn’t be like a goblin to indicate one way or the other. Regulus had told him over and over, “as long as they know it’s you, they won’t care about your motives. Goblins prefer to remain impartial to wizard’s affairs.” It was only a small comfort when confronted with the monumentous task, though.

“Of course, Mr. Black. I’ll be back momentarily.” The goblin stood up, and walked into a room behind the rows of desks. Sirius took a deep breath when he was left alone. Well, relatively alone. The hall was bustling with wizards, witches, and goblins, but thankfully no one was paying Sirius any mind. He repeated to himself over and over that he could do this. He could do this, he could do this, he could do this.

As much as he hated associating himself with his family--at least, some members of the family--he would do it for Regs. After all, his brother had retrieved a horcrux from that dreadful cave, hadn’t he? Sirius couldn’t chicken out at Gringotts.

The goblin returned, and Sirius straightened his posture, as if Mother was breathing down his neck. He was introduced to another goblin, named Odbert, who would take him down to the family vault. Sirius followed the goblin, sitting down in a minecart, and preparing himself for the long, crazy ride ahead. That’s the first time in weeks I’ve meant that literally, he thought, before the cart zoomed forward, and all he could think about was the rushing wind in his ears, whipping his hair about.

They rushed through a cold waterfall that Sirius recognized as the Thief’s Downfall. The charm clearly hadn’t detected any enchantments, and the cart continued on the track, a warming charm spreading over them a moment later as the cart went in large loops, working it’s way downward.

With a screech, the cart came to a stop, and the Odbert hopped out. Sirius followed his lead, well aware of what was coming. After walking a few feet, the goblin took out a metal device that vaguely resembled an odd percussion instrument and handed a second one to Sirius.

Odbert began to shake it as they approached a large dragon. The cavern filled with a ringing sound, much like a metal forge. When Sirius recovered from the shock at the pure size and intimidating nature of the dragon, he shook his as well.

After passing the dragon, Odbert walked up to a large door, and simply touched it. The door gave way at the touch, splitting in half, and seeming to melt away.

Sirius stepped into the vault, turning slowly to take in everything. As he completed a circle, his eyes fall upon the goblin again. “May I have some privacy, um, sir?”

Odbert nodded. “The door will let you out when you wish, Mr. Black.” At his words, the door began to reform.

“Right, brilliant,” Sirius answered. The door sealed behind Sirius and he was alone. “Brilliant,” he repeated to himself, looking around, uncertain.

“What’s brilliant?”

Sirius jumped at the voice, and turned to see Regulus floating through the wall behind him, smirking. “Don’t scare me like that, Regs!”

Regulus laughed. “You knew I’d be here. Or did you forget the plan?”

Sirius crossed his arms and huffed. It was true, they’d made the plan several days ago, when Kreacher announced that the cup had been moved. “I didn’t forget. I just didn’t think you’d be here already.” They had separated outside the muggle side of the Leaky Cauldron, Regulus--who’d remained in the shadows, grateful for the poor weather--sinking into the ground, and making his way to the vault.

“Yes, well, Gringotts is bigger than you think,” Regulus pointed out. “It stretches beneath nearly all of wizarding London. It’s one of the perks to building underground, I’d imagine.”

“Sure,” Sirius murmured distractedly, his eyes scanning the vault. “So, we’re looking for a...cup? A gold one?”

“Yep. A chalice, Kreacher said.”

“Hmm.” They both looked around. There was a shelf full of various pieces of metal crockery. Sirius examined it, turning over a one of the many golden goblets in his hand. “So how do we kno-”

Regulus let out a sharp gasp. “That one.” He pointed at one cup amongst many, and Sirius reached for it.

It was a shiny golden cup, with two handles. It had a badger embossed on it as well. A badger…and a familiar one at that.

“You don’t think...” Sirius began.

Regulus was thinking along the same line it seemed. “I do. The only thing I don’t get is why. I don’t think the Dark Lord had any connection to Hufflepuff house.”

Sirius thought for a moment. Then, something occurred to him. “But he had a connection to Hogwarts.”

“So does everyone in wizarding Britain, Sirius,” Regulus dismissed.

“No, think about it Regs. Maybe he was trying to...make a collection of sorts.”

Regulus nodded. “That...that actually makes sense.”

“Thanks,” Sirius muttered.

“Oh, shut up. This is brilliant, we finally have a lead! Sirius, we can finally-” Regulus stopped abruptly.

“What is it, Regs?” Sirius asked, suddenly worried.

“You don’t suppose the Gryffindor or Ravenclaw relic happens to be a small black book, do you?” his brother asked, clearly rhetorically.

Sirius frowned, unsure of Regulus’ meaning. And that’s when he remembered the horcrux that had been given to Malfoy. If that wasn’t a founder’s relic… “Adds up to a bit more than three, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Regulus answered with a sigh. Sirius heard the way his voice shook, no matter how badly Regulus must have wanted to hide that. “Yeah, it does.” The vault filled with silence. “Um, listen, I...I know you don’t like being the heir, and everything attached to that, but...I had a thought.”

Chapter Text

January 12, 1981
The Potter’s House
5:25 PM

Regulus Black frantically floated back and forth--in a rhythm that mimicked pacing--next to the Potter’s kitchen table. The cat--which still had not been given a name--stared up at Regulus, it’s eyes following him back and forth. Regulus couldn’t decide if it was ominous or reassuring. He rather liked the creature, there was something intelligent in its eyes.

“So, we were thinking maybe--calm down, Reg--we were thinking there might be more horcruxes than we thought,” Sirius explained. Potter, Lily, and Remus were sitting at the table with him, listening to Sirius recount the trip to Gringotts. “Two more founder’s artifacts, and the book Malfoy has.”

“Merlin,” Remus muttered. “Five horcruxes?” Regulus nodded. There was something that didn’t sit right with him, but he couldn’t put a finger on it.

“What do you reckon the artifacts are?” James asked.

Sirius shrugged, looking defeated. “I figured you’d know, if any of us did. For Gryffindor, at least. Your family’s pretty Gryffindor.”

Potter shrugged. “I mean, surely someone would’ve noticed if the Sorting Hat was a horcrux, right?”

“Potter, you didn’t know what a horcrux was prior to a fortnight ago,” Regulus observed, with a huff. Perhaps it came off a tad more dramatic than he intended, but not by a lot.

“There’s a sword, though, right?” Lily asked.

“Sure,” Potter answered, giving Regulus a look. “But I don’t see how Voldemort could get his hands on it. It only appears to worthy Gryffindors.”

“Well, by all means, summon it for us, Potter,” Regulus drawled, examining his translucent fingernails.

“That’s not how it works,” James answered with an eye-roll. “What do you know about Ravenclaw artifacts?”

“I can talk to Lady Helena,” Regulus suggested. “Visit her at Hogwarts.”

“Hold up a minute,” Sirius interjected. “I mean...we’re trying to keep all this on the downlow-”

“I’m well aware.”

“You don’t think going to Hogwarts would...give us away?” He had adopted his usual irritating habit of talking down to Regulus.

Regulus sighed. “Lady Helena is fairly private. And we’re fairly good friends from when I was in school. I doubt she’ll tell anyone.”

“You’re friends with the Grey Lady?” Remus asked.

“Yes. Pandora knows her a bit better than I, though. She introduced me around fifth year.” Sirius smirked at him, which Regulus pointedly ignored. “So, that’s a start I suppose.”

“Brilliant,” Lily agreed. “How about destroying them?”

Regulus gave her a weak smile, grateful for the comfortable territory. This part, at least he had a plan for. “You all are going to have to learn fiendfyre. Sirius and I need to look through some family properties, and find a safe place to teach you.”

Sirius held up the stack of parchment he’d requested from Odbert. It was a complete listing of all the family properties, and who was currently living where. As one might have predicted, Sirius didn’t find the information nearly as important or enthralling as Regulus did. He carelessly tossed the stack onto the table. Lily, to her credit, reached out to look through them, only to draw her hand back upon touching them.

“Ouch,” she muttered. “It just zapped me.”

Regulus sighed. “There must be enchantments. Sirius, can you remove them?”

Sirius shot a quick finite at the stack, and they all dove into the papers. They poured over them for a while, the silence broken by Sirius’ comments, and a few questions from Lily and Remus.

“How about this one?” Potter suggested after a while. He held a page up for Sirius’ examination.

“Black Manor?” Sirius read. “Isn’t Arcturus there, Reg?”

To Regulus’ surprise, Potter answered. “Nah, it says here he’s living in France. In the...manoyr de...e- etoyles.”

Regulus chuckled at the poor French. “Manoir d’étoiles, Potter. It’s French, for ‘manor of stars.’” Remus muttered something to Lily, and she gave a stifled laugh.

“So, we’re going to the Manor then? To practice?” Sirius asked.

Regulus frowned, and crossed his arms across his chest. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it there. As much as Regulus missed it, the idea of returning scared him. There were a lot of memories associated with Black Manor, for better or worse.

All those holidays spent there. Running around with Sirius, and their cousins. Stargazing. Talking to Grandmother Melania, and spending time in the garden with her. The garden...that was the main issue, really.

That garden had always held memories, but now, it was an entirely different matter. He had seen that garden, in all it’s floral glory, when he was...on the other side, he supposed? He didn’t exactly have a word for it.

What if I had stayed there? Regulus asked himself for what must have been the millionth time.

He could have seen his grandmother again, that much he knew. And he would have seen Sirius again, eventually. But would he have been able to sit idly by, and watch the Dark Lord reign, knowing Kreacher couldn’t destroy the horcrux?

But was this any better? To do his best to end it, do his best to save lives, only to sit idly by as everyone else dies. Once they died, that was it. He’d never see them again, they’d all be together, in that garden, without him.

Regulus realized with a start that it was no longer just Sirius he was concerned for. Somewhere along the way, these people, these strangers, who’d always just been his brother’s friends, had begun to mean something to him.

They had--in all their brash Gryffindor-ness--forced their way into his heart. Regulus hadn’t exactly meant to care for them. He needed Sirius’ help, and Sirius got his mates in on it. That was supposed to be the end of it. No feelings, no affection for the Gryffindor’s who he once thought had “stolen” his brother.

But now he couldn’t imagine losing any of them. The pang that he felt, even at the thought of it, was surprising in and of itself. How on Earth had he let his guard down this much? To allow these people in? And why did this not terrify him the way it ought to?

Regulus felt his fingers tightening around his upper arms, and marveled for a moment at his ability to at least feel his own person. It kept him grounded (he allowed himself a smirk at the phrase, and the slight irony of it). He was suddenly once again becoming aware of his surroundings.

“...normal? Is it a ghost thing?”

“I think it’s just a Reg thing. He just...gets into his own head.” Regulus scowled, not that Sirius was wrong. “Regs,” Sirius called, half-heartedly. Regulus got the sense he’d been trying to get his attention for a good moment or so.

“Hm?”

Sirius shook his head, a small smirk on his face. “Hi. Where’d you go?” Regulus shrugged, Sirius rolled his eyes. “Black Manor?” he asked. Regulus, after a moment, recalled the original question that had spurred him into thought.

“Oh, um...I’m not sure,” he answered sheepishly.

“About what?” Sirius asked.

Regulus shrunk back the slightest bit at his voice. He had no idea how to tell Sirius what he was unsure of. Least of all how to say it in front of everyone. “I suppose we could go and look around. See if there’s enough space.”

“Of course there’s enough space,” Sirius answered. He held up one of the papers. “We’ve got all the information.”

“Oh, right.” Regulus sighed, and gave in, feeling rather small as he did so. “Yes, I suppose that would be fine.”

Chapter Text

January 15, 1981
The Longbottom House
7:45 PM

James Potter could not stop fidgeting. He’d always been fidgety as a child, and into adulthood, but he could usually stop it when he actually noticed. The nerves were what made it bad. Like right now for instance. Suffice it to say, it was a good thing he’d handed Harry over to his wife when she sat down.

James was awaiting news--any kind of news--but everything was business as usual for the Order. At one point, when Mad-Eye told them all what was going on in the Ministry, James felt Lily’s hand on his knee, stilling it. He didn’t even realize he’d been bouncing it.

“Thank you,” he mouthed, placing his hand on top of hers.

They sat there, waiting for Mad-Eye to tell them something that they didn’t already know from the Prophet. James was pretty sure he was squeezing his wife’s hand a bit too hard, and let up.

“Any news about Peter?” James asked as Mad-Eye seemed to be wrapping up, and still hadn’t mentioned the traitor.

But that was shut down, as no one seemed to know anything about his whereabouts.

That wasn’t to say the night was a total waste, however. As it turned out, Dumbledore could share useful information sometimes.

Remus Lupin was close to finished with memorizing Frank and Alice’s carpet pattern. He’d been staring at it for most of the meeting, in an effort to avoid eye contact with the others in the Order. He loathed the pitying glances almost as much as the judgemental glares. He’d handled this for sixteen years, he didn’t need anyone's pity.

“Any news about Peter?” James asked, from next to him.

Mad-Eye gave a grunt. “We’ve got our best folks on the job, Potter. You’ll know as soon as I do.”

That seemed to satisfy James, as much as anything could.

“As one final order of business,” Dumbledore announced, standing up again. “A reliable source has told me that Lord Voldemort is searching for the sword of Godric Gryffindor.”

There were murmurs around the room. Remus looked to James, and knew he was thinking the same thing. They exchanged looks with Sirius and Lily, feeling the familiar rush of concern, and relief at having found a lead.

“I hope I am not being too forward in assuming that you all know the legend. A legend, which I have found, has been proved true time and time again. The sword appears to a worthy Gryffindor in need. I daresay a great number of you hail from the noble house. And I would wager a good deal of money that the Death Eaters are aware of that.”

If they weren’t before, they are now, Remus thought bitterly, thinking of Peter.

“I have never claimed to understand Lord Voldemort. Although he can be, to my knowledge, fairly predictable, and I can be, if you will all indulge me, a good guesser.”

Where was this going? Remus’ trust in Dumbledore seemed to be getting put to the test day in and day out. If only he could just spit out whatever he was trying to say.

“Therefore I think it is not out of the realm of possibility that he may use that to his advantage. I believe each and every one of you Gryffindors to be capable of summoning the sword, should the moment arise.”

Remus noted the way a few of them sat up straighter at the easy flattery. Him and his friends excluded. Remus couldn’t help but think Regulus would have laughed if he saw the way they all reacted, what with his distrust of the headmaster and his constant need to mock all things Gryffindor.

“If you come upon the relic, I implore you not to let it fall into the wrong hands.”

Like we needed to be told that.

“Does he think all the Gryffindors are stupid?” Sirius whispered in Remus’ ear.

Remus smirked. “He should do lunch with your brother.”

Sirius gave a disguised snort. “I’m sure Reg would love that.”

It was then he noticed Edgar Bones glaring at the two of them. Sirius followed Remus’ gaze, and zeroed in on the man, raising an eyebrow in challenge. What exactly Sirius was challenging the man to, Remus had no idea. Edgar probably didn’t either, but that didn’t stop him from looking personally offended.

“Knock it off, Sirius,” Remus muttered.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re glaring at Edgar.”

Sirius crossed his arms, and slouched against the couch. “Bones started it,” he whispered. Remus rolled his eyes.

Eventually, the meeting ended, and everyone began milling about and socializing with each other. Remus turned to look at his friends at the same time they turned to him, and he knew they were all thinking the same thing.

“Home?” James suggested.

Sirius shook his head. “My place. We need to tell Reg everything.” James and Lily nodded, and they all stood up.

They weaved their way through the living room, saying their goodbyes as they went, and hoping not to get caught up in any conversations.

Then they reached the fireplace. “Hey, um, maybe let’s just apparate?” Remus suggested. None of his mates had seen it, but Edgar was leaning against the mantle.

“No way,” Sirius muttered. “You can’t apparate into the flat, I put up wards. And the last thing I want is to walk up those stairs.”

Remus was slowing his pace, hoping they wouldn’t realize where his hesitance was coming from. “But what about Harry? You can’t floo travel with a newborn baby. I read that somewhere.”

Lily shook her head. “No, that’s only the first...two months? Three months? The healer definitely said it was alright. Didn’t she, Jay?”

James nodded. “Three months. Apparition is two, that’s what you’re thinking of.” Merlin, could they stop walking so quickly?

“Yes, that’s right. Nothing to worry about Remus.”

There very much is, Remus thought. But then, all of a sudden, his efforts were fruitless.

“You’re blocking the floo, Bones,” Sirius said, his voice lofty, as if he couldn’t be bothered with Edgar and his existence. It occurred to Remus--and at any other time, it would have been a hilarious thought--that this was how Regulus tended to speak to Sirius, when he was particularly frustrated with him.

“Eager to get somewhere, Black? Information you need to report?” Remus felt his heart leap in his chest. Edgar was onto them. “Family to visit?” Remus felt their demeanors shift as he said it. He could feel the moment when all four of them tensed up. They’d been found out. But how?

“What are you implying, Bones?” Sirius asked, able to keep up his cool

Bones shrugged. “I guess I’m just being cautious. There’s a spy in the Order, and you can never be too careful.”

Remus buried his face in his hands. “Really, you guys, this is so fifth year.”

“The spy’s already been caught, you dimwit.” Now, James was technically right about this. But Remus did not think it was going to help their case.

With a sigh, he said, “Edgar, may we please get past you to use the fireplace?”

Edgar shot them a glare, but turned to walk away. “You’re too nice, Moony,” said Sirius. “We could’ve taken him.”

“Sirius!” Remus scolded.

Sirius just shrugged, and reached out to grab some floo powder. “What? I think he would’ve deserved it.”

“Seconded!” James contributed.

Sirius called out his own address, and vanished in the fire, James following him. “Honestly,” Remus muttered to himself.

“Well, you should stand up for yourself, Remus,” Lily said.

Remus rolled his eyes. That seemed to be everyone’s line of thought. He grabbed a pinch of floo powder and stepped into the fireplace.

A short instant later, and he was in Sirius’ flat.

“Sorry we’re late, Regs,” Sirius was saying.

“I wasn’t expecting you this soon.” That was Regulus’ voice. Remus stepped further into the room, leaving the fireplace open for Lily. “If anything, you should apologize for being early.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a git.”

“Or for bringing all your ridiculous friends home with you,” Regulus added. Despite his words, he smiled at Lily as she made her way out of the fireplace with Harry.

James laughed. “Aw, come on! You love us!”

Regulus glanced at the floor for a moment. Remus almost missed it, in fact. “Go ahead and tell yourself that, Potter.”

Remus smirked, and raised an eyebrow at the ghost, to which Regulus gave his best ‘I have no idea what you’re implying’ look.

“Anyways,” Regulus continued. “What brings you all here?”

“Voldemort’s after the sword of Gryffindor,” said Lily, cutting to the chase.

Regulus looked shocked, and cursed softly under his breath.

“We think he’s going to target the Order,” Sirius explained. “Try and make it appear to somebody in a battle.”

“Okay. Um, what should we do?” he asked, looking at the others.

Sirius Black was not sentimental. Not in the slightest. It just wasn’t his thing.

So maybe he hugged Professor McGonagall when they graduated. And maybe he got a little choked up at James and Lily’s wedding. And yes, fine, he might’ve cried just a bit when Harry was born.

He wasn’t sentimental most of the time at least. But...he was proud of his stupid little brother, okay?

If Sirius had to guess, he’d say that Regulus’ original plans had been to figure everything out on his own, and have Sirius handle the physical stuff. Exclusively Sirius. Regulus had definitely not planned on involving everyone else. That much was obvious to anyone who knew him.

But now the kid was asking them all for help. And Sirius couldn’t help but be...proud of that. He’d honestly come a long way from the little boy Sirius remembered.

“We don’t let him get it,” James said, his voice colored with determination, and drawing Sirius from his thoughts. “We keep an eye out at battles. Everyone else will be looking, but we’re the only ones who know why he wants it.”

Everyone nodded. “And it goes without saying,” Lily added, saying it anyways, “but we need to try and destroy the horcruxes before he gets a chance at the sword.”

“Meet at...at Black Manor. Tomorrow, at seven p.m.,” Regulus instructed. He seemed almost uncertain for a moment. He looked at James and Lily. “Um, don’t bring your child. It probably won’t be safe for an infant.”

Lily nodded politely, but Sirius could see her biting her lip to keep from laughing. James was not so courteous. “Probably?” he mocked.

“Well, yes.” Regulus looked at him as if it were obvious. “It’ll only be dangerous if you actually succeed at the spell.” It could’ve just been an observation on the spell's difficulty, but something in Regulus’ eyes made Sirius think he was teasing James.

Whether or not James caught on, Sirius never found out, because at that moment Harry woke up and started crying.

Lily sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll be going. Goodnight.” She and James made their way out, discussing who they could get to watch Harry tomorrow night.

Remus followed them, with a “see you tomorrow.”

“I’m never having kids,” Sirius muttered, more to himself than to Regulus.

“Me neither,” the latter agreed. Sirius stared at him. Regulus stared back, before cracking a smile.

And it wasn’t funny. Not really. But Regs was laughing, and it was so genuine, and so sodding contagious. “Glad to see you’ve finally developed a sense of humour.”

“Or you’ve finally developed the intellect to understand it.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Regulus just rolled his eyes, and was clearly trying to stop smiling. And Merlin alive, had Sirius missed these moments.

Chapter Text

January 16, 1981
Black Manor
7:01 PM

Regulus Black hadn’t seen Black Manor for nearly two years. That is, unless he counted seeing the garden when he died, which he didn’t, only because he was trying to ignore those thoughts.

It was a beautiful mansion, about eight thousand square feet, and twenty-five bedrooms, if Regulus remembered correctly. It had a stunning exterior, and the interior was brilliant as well, although they weren’t going inside, which Regulus was grateful for.

The land was what mattered though. Forty acres of land. Some of which were patios, pastures, stables, and of course, the garden.

He and Sirius were equidistant from the mansion and the edge of the property, surrounded by empty hills. They were in a valley, with the hope that being surrounded by hills would protect the rest of the land, should things go amiss.

“I haven’t been here since Ciss- Narcissa, I mean, married Malfoy.” Regulus smiled at the way his brother said the man’s name. Neither of them had ever been a fan of Lucius Malfoy. It was one of the few things Sirius had in common with Bella. (Actually, it was one of the many things the two had in common, but Regulus knew better than to bring that up.) “What about you?” Sirius asked.

“Me? Oh, I haven’t been here since the summer after I graduated.” My last summer, Regulus thought.

Sirius nodded. “I missed those, sometimes.” He was referring to the two weeks the entire family would spend at the manor over the summer. “I mean, I didn’t want to go. I just wanted it to be like how it was before… Before.”

Regulus knew exactly what he meant. Before he went to Hogwarts, before Andromeda left them. Before the three of them that were left blamed muggleborns and blood traitors for taking their siblings away from them. Before, before, before. There was a beat of silence.

“You’re sure you gave them the right apparition coordinates?” Regulus asked again. They were currently waiting on Remus and the Potters.

Sirius gave a rather put-upon sigh. “Yes, Regulus. They’re just late. It happens. James is probably freaking out about leaving Harry with a sitter.”

“Hmm.” For the briefest moment, Regulus imagined Orion worrying about leaving them with Kreacher. That’s different, he tried to tell himself. Father simply trusted Kreacher enough not to worry. There had been a time where Regulus would have thought along that line. But suddenly the image of Lily smiling at her son appeared in his mind’s eye. “They seem like they’re good parents.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “They are.”

After a beat of silence, in which Regulus wondered if they were thinking about the same things: “Is Remus waiting on them?”

“Nah,” Sirius said, smirking. “Moony’s just always late for everything.”

“Rude!” called a voice, walking down one of the hills surrounding them. It was Remus.

“Am I wrong though?” Sirius teased.

Remus didn’t answer, and instead began talking with Sirius about something else.

Regulus didn’t hear any of it, he’d become lost in his own thoughts again, thinking of James, and Lily, and the sort of parents they were, and the sort of parents he’d had. That only served to bring his thoughts back around to where he was, and the garden that he knew was nearby.

And then an odd thought occurred to him: Had Father seen that same garden? Had he been greeted by his mother?

Regulus had never seen his father enter that garden willingly, nor did he particularly seem to enjoy it. Rather, he seemed to find the company of his own family...stifling. Orion Black was, in Regulus’ mind, so far removed from the beautiful safe haven of the garden, that the thought hadn’t occurred to Regulus before now.

Surely his father must have gone somewhere. And what about Grandmother? Had he seen her? It was all a mystery. One Regulus would never be able to solve.

“Hey Regulus,” said Lily, startling him a bit. He hadn’t seen her arrive. James, of course, was present as well, speaking with Sirius and Remus.

“Hi Lily. Well, I suppose we can start now.” And that was really all there was to say before Regulus launched into an explanation.

“Fiendfyre is extremely dangerous, and extremely difficult to control. For that reason, only one of you should attempt at a time. And before we begin, you all need to be clear on how to stop it. The incantation to stop it is exstinxisti, and you simply flick your wand. Now, that won’t stop the burning if the fire’s caught anything, and any fire you’ve already conjured will dissipate slowly, depending on the amount. Which means, you need to know when to stop. You must stop sooner than you think you’ll need to.

“The incantation is exsecratus ignis. And the motion is a sort of-” Regulus traced the flame-like shape in the air “-it’s like that. Sirius, do you have the book?”

Sirius nodded, holding up the book he had brought, and opening it to the relevant page. The others clustered around him for a look.

“Well,” Regulus said at length. “One of you can just...go ahead, now.”

The boys exchanged a look, and Lily simply stepped forward, and made an attempt at the spell. A few small plumes of fire burst from the wand tip, but they didn’t take shape. The flames curled around each other, and disappeared as if they’d smothered themselves.

Everyone else gaped at her, impressed. They soon fell into a rhythm, everyone taking turns at the spell, getting the slightest bit stronger each time, as Regulus observed. He had to admit, he was impressed with how quickly they’d picked it up. They still weren’t quite there, however. None of the fire took shape, which was when it was at its strongest, like a perverted sort of patronus. Only then could it destroy a horcrux.

Destroy a horcrux. The words echoed in his mind. They really were going to do it, weren’t they? It wasn’t that it was impossible, or unattainable. He’d been working towards this. But never before had it been so...in reach. He could do this.

They could do this. And yeah, that was nice. To not be in this alone.

As it got later, James suggested they turn in for the night.

“Sure. Maybe we could meet here again? Next week?” Sirius suggested.

Everyone agreed, and with that, everyone said their goodbyes and apparated away.

“Ready to go, Regs?”

Regulus startled. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” For the briefest moment, he entertained the idea of asking to stay, to see the manor. Yeah, because Sirius would love that, he thought. “Yeah, we can go.”

Sirius began the walk to where he’d parked his bike (he had found the whole concept of parking it on family property hysterical) and Regulus followed.

“You seem...distracted,” Sirius noted.

Regulus gave a weak laugh. “I’m always-”

“No,” Sirius cut off. “More than usual, tonight. What’s on your mind?”

Regulus thought for only a second of divulging everything. “Just...thinking that we’re getting close.”

“Oh, is that all?”

Sirius seemed to know--or at least suspect--that there was more to it, but Regulus held firm. “Yes.” They came to the top of the hill, where the bike was. “Sirius-” Regulus hadn’t meant it to come out so loud, but the night was so quiet. “Thank you.” Regulus didn’t elaborate, partly because he couldn’t pinpoint what the thank-you was for. Rather, there were too many things he didn’t know how to say, and a thank-you was the closest he could come to wording all of it.

Sirius looked at him, and then smiled and nodded. “‘Course Regs. You know I’ve got you.”

Chapter Text

January 20, 1981
Hogsmeade
4:44 PM

Pandora Lovegood had not seen Hogsmeade in quite some time. It was quite lovely in the snow, she thought. She remembered the days she’d spent here in her school years, drinking warm butterbeer by the fire in the Three Broomsticks with her friends. Talking about divination with Sybil and Xenophilius, while Dirk and Emmeline prattled on about quidditch.

And Regulus. Regulus had joined her in the village on several occasions, sometimes with more secrecy than other times. They’d still been fifteen, and still been slightly foolish from time to time. Love was like that. And it had been love, at least in one way or another.

She walked down the path, following the directions she’d been owled. She came across a cave, and ducked to enter it.

There was Regulus ghost-pacing the cave. “Oh, hello.”

“Hi.” Pandora looked at him, wary of his faux-cheerful tone, and asked “Are you quite alright?”

“Of course,” he said quickly. “Shall we?” He gestured at the cave entrance.

Then it clicked. “It’s the cave that’s bothering you.”

“What? No, no, of course not,” Regulus insisted.

Pandora arched a brow. “It’s fine if it is. Come on, we can get out of here.”

“Pandora, really, the cave isn’t an issue.”

She sighed. Regulus was still stubborn as ever. Not that she expected anything else. “Well, we need to head to the castle either way. There’s no use lingering here.”

Regulus nodded, almost vigorously. “Yes, of course. Brilliant.” He gave her a look that seemed to say ‘thank you’ as they left the cave.

They walked up the path, which was fairly empty as it was a Tuesday. Pandora continued her reminiscing, this time out loud. “Do you remember that snowball fight we had?”

Regulus smirked. “The one your mates bullied me into?”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, you loved it.”

“I certainly did not!” Regulus insisted. “If I recall, Cresswell hit me in the face.”

Pandora beamed, and she shook her head. “You did too have fun. Besides, he only hit you in the neck.” Regulus was clearly about to protest. “And if Dirk hadn’t hit you on the neck, you wouldn’t have sworn revenge, and then you wouldn’t have had any fun.”

Regulus smiled at that. “Revenge is fun,” he acknowledged.

Pandora laughed. It’s awfully nice, having him back, she thought.

“How’s destroying the other horcruxes going?” Pandora asked after a silence.

Regulus sighed. “Well, they’re figuring the spell out, I guess. But we haven’t actually tried to destroy one yet. None of them can cast it powerfully enough.”

Pandora nodded. “Will You-Know-Who feel it when you do?” she asked, the thought suddenly occurring.

Regulus’ face blanked. “I don’t know. I...yeah, he might. I’ll research it.”

“Do you ever ask anyone else to do things?” Pandora teased. Regulus looked away from her, keeping silent, and she realized how right she was. “Reg,” she sighed. “Just ask him to do the research, I’m sure he’d love to.”

Regulus shook his head. "He's got other things going on."

"Like what?" Pandora challenged. Regulus didn't answer. "Reg, why do you really not want his help?"

“It’s not that. There’s just no point asking, is all. I’m perfectly capable of doing it by myself.” Pandora had never said he wasn’t. “I don’t need his help with everything.” Pandora had never said he did. “Besides, I might as well do what I can while I still have a purpose.”

Now they were reaching the issue. “What do you mean?” Pandora asked, her tone more casual then she felt. But she knew Regulus hated being worried about.

Regulus shrugged. “After the horcruxes are gone, I’m just...here.”

Pandora waited, but he didn’t say anything else. She’d noticed it in school quite a bit, but Regulus was far too comfortable with silence. Pandora didn’t mind it much herself, but Regulus had a habit of not talking about things that perhaps ought to be talked about.

Combined with Pandora’s gentleness, and her fear that he’d close up if she pushed too much, the two had danced around quite a few things that they should’ve discussed. But they were fifteen, and hadn’t thought that...well, they hadn’t thought.

They got closer to the castle, and Pandora noticed some children by the greenhouses, or in the courtyard. “Shall I disillusion myself?”

Regulus didn’t look her way, but answered “Yeah, you probably better.” Pandora followed his gaze, and saw he was staring at Ravenclaw tower. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Certainly.” Pandora removed her wand from her pocket, and set about disillusioning herself. She winced at the cool trickle running down her, and when it had ceased she turned to Regulus.

“Brilliant,” he remarked. “See you in a bit. Unless you’ve already left, I suppose.” Pandora smiled at the addition, and went to enter the castle.

It was a surreal experience, sneaking through the familiar and crowded halls. It wasn’t that Pandora had never snuck around--personally, she thought rule-breaking was part of the Hogwarts experience--but it was odd to do it in the middle of the day, with students milling about. Had she been school age, she would have been able to blend in with the crowd.

Merlin and Morgana, she’d been out of school for nearly two years now. In all honesty, it felt longer. And shorter. Pandora supposed there was no reason it couldn’t feel like both. But so much had happened since her graduation. Almost instinctively, she put a hand over her belly. She was a month from due.

And that mere thought was weirder than slipping through crowds she’d been a part of two short years ago.

When she finally made her way up to Ravenclaw tower, she paused, waiting to make sure the coast was clear. When it was, she pulled aside the blue and bronze tapestry to the left of the door, and stepped into the staircase hidden behind it. She walked through the spiral of stone steps, and emerged in the small quarters of Helena Ravenclaw.

Regulus was already there, as was Lady Helena. There was no way Regulus hadn’t planned out what to say, so at the sight of him speechless, Pandora could only assume things were not going to plan.

“N-Not my...concern?” he asked. “What do you… It- Of course it is! It’s how I died, it’s why I’m a ghost.”

“Are you quite certain of that?” Lady Helena asked. There was a challenge in her tone. Regulus must have heard it too, as he tensed up.

“Yes?” Regulus winced as he said it, probably from the question in his voice. When someone asks if you’re certain, it’s not ideal to answer with a question. “What else could it be?” Well, there he goes again with the questions, Pandora thought.

Lady Helena gave him a rare warm smile. “That’s not something I can answer for you, I’m afraid.”

Pandora decided then to remove her disillusionment, as she felt she’d been observing under cover a bit too long, and Regulus was looking a bit uncomfortable with the current topic.

Both Lady Helena and Regulus turned to look at her as she appeared. “Hello. It’s good to see you again, Lady Helena.” She gave a small curtsy.

“Lovely to see you, Pandora. Are you here for the same reason as your...friend?”

Regulus looked at his feet, and Pandora had to admit, the pause was uncomfortable to say the least. “Yes. We were wondering if you knew of any artifacts your mother left. One that we think may have been stolen, several years ago.”

Lady Helena sighed, and, directing the whole of the conversation to Pandora, began her story. “I’ve told you before about Sir Frederick, and how the both of us died, in Albania.”

Pandora nodded. She noticed Regulus just looked confused. She caught his eye, and mouthed “the Bloody Baron” and a look of realization dawned on his face.

“Well, the only reason I was in Albania in the first place was because I had run away. I stole my mother’s diadem, and left. That is the reason it has been lost for so long. I hid it.”

Pandora heard herself gasp. She’d always found the concept of the diadem intriguing, and she and Xenophilius had discussed it at length many times. He wanted to recreate it. She wanted to find it.

“And that was where it stayed for many years, until a young boy began asking about it. He was...charming, and I was fooled. I told him where to find it, and he must have. Now that I know who he is, I see no way he could have failed to find it, in fact.”

“But you don’t know where it is?” Regulus asked.

Lady Helena frowned at him. “I have told you all that I know of it. And far more than you should be asking about.” Regulus shrunk back at her words. Clearly whatever the two discussed before her arrival had affected him. “It was lovely to see you both again. Now, I am going to join the other members of this castle in the Great Hall, if you would be so kind as to excuse me.”

Pandora curtsied to her. “Of course, my Lady.”

Regulus, still a tad struck, muttered out an uncomfortable “good evening.”

“You may see yourselves out, and-” again she turned to Regulus “good luck on your quest. Both of them.”

She floated to the stone wall, and vanished through it, leaving the two in awkward silence.

“You have a second quest?” Pandora asked, slightly teasing, but slightly genuine.

Regulus, however, was avoiding looking at her. “No.” He seemed upset.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Regulus asked.

“Well, you just seem upset that I brought it up,” Pandora replied. She wasn’t certain that was the right thing to say, but she didn’t know what was the right thing.

“I’m not upset.” His tone said otherwise, and he still wasn’t looking at her.

“Okay,” she said simply.

“I’m really not,” he insisted. “It’s just that I don’t know…about any of it. Everything was making so much sense and then...Sirius.”

Pandora frowned. She knew the two had a...complicated relationship, to say the least. Regulus had talked about it enough for her to know that. Of course, she may have been biased by virtue of only talking to one of them, but it seemed Sirius had wronged Regulus quite a bit. “What did he say to you?”

“Nothing?” Regulus asked, confused. “I don’t know, there’s a lot of it that...I can’t figure out, but I can’t tell anyone else about it because...just because.”

“You can tell me anything you want to, Regulus,” Pandora reassured him. “But,” she added. “It’s not me you want to help you, is it?”

“I...I don’t want anyone’s help. If I were corporeal I wouldn’t have even approached Sirius.”

“Sure, that’s why you came to him. But what matters is why you’ve stayed.”

“Can you just stop?” Regulus snapped, startling her.

“I’m sor-”

“Pandora, you always do this! I’m telling you what I want to tell you, and you keep trying to pick everything apart, and figure me out, just stop it!”

“Where is this coming from?” Pandora asked, her voice just above a whisper.

“I’m just- I’m sick and tired of everyone doing this to me!” He wasn’t shouting, but his tone showed exactly how he felt.

“Everyone? Who’s everyone?” Pandora asked.

“Who’s everyone?” Regulus repeated. “Sod off! Salazar, just stop with the bloody questions already.” Pandora opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything. “I don’t know why I asked you to come, I would’ve done just fine on my own,” Regulus continued muttering under his breath, and made like he was going to leave the tower.

“You know what I think?” Pandora called, her voice and tone now matching his. He turned around to face her, scowling. “I think the reason everyone’s trying to poke at what you’re thinking is that you don’t tell anyone anything. Regulus Black, you are the most closed-off person I’ve ever met! And it’s because you’re scared.” Regulus’ jaw twitched, but Pandora ploughed ahead before he could speak. “You’re so bloody scared of loving people, and you won’t admit it to yourself!”

Regulus stared at her, frozen. “I- I need to get home.” Her tone was apologetic, but she didn’t say the actual words. She wouldn’t have meant them, anyways. Not yet.

Chapter Text

January 20, 1981
Sirius Black’s Apartment
7:00 PM

Lily Potter popped out of Sirius’ floo, cradling her son. She wasn’t entirely sure whether or not she’d be welcome, to tell the truth. But she had her reasons.

She wondered if Regulus might want some company, seeing as Sirius was out for the full moon. And she hadn’t heard anything about how the visit to Hogwarts had gone from Pandora. And...well, it was Regulus. Lily liked the kid, although she supposed he might not take to being called a kid. And she worried about him. So, really, that was reason enough for her.

“Hello?” she called into the silent flat. She waited for a response for a few moments, before walking into Sirius’ living room.

Regulus was floating by the mantle, inspecting the pictures on it. “Hey Regulus!” she greeted brightly. He jumped, and spun around to face her.

“Oh. Hello. I was just…” he trailed off. His face was slightly anxious, and he seemed almost embarrassed.

Lily tried to give him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about it. I’m the one intruding. The house felt empty, I just thought you might like some company, seeing as Sirius is out, too.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Lily set down Harry’s diaper bag on the couch, if only to have something physical to do while she searched for conversation. However, it was Regulus that filled the silence first. “Is it dangerous?” he asked. “Will they be okay, him and Potter?”

Lily nodded. “They’ve been doing this since they were fifth years. They’ll be fine. Sometimes they get a bit banged up, but nothing that we can’t put right ourselves.”

“Oh. Good.” Lily noticed he was rather fidgety, still. She sat down on the couch, and Regulus joined her after a beat, with a glance at the mantle.

“Of course, it doesn’t get any easier, waiting for them,” she added, in an attempt to empathize with Regulus, who still seemed uncomfortable. “Where you looking at Sirius’-”

Photos, she was going to say, but Regulus interrupted, panicked, as if he hadn’t even heard Lily--which, she supposed, was possible. “I don’t want anything to happen to them,” he said in a rush.

Lily nodded. “Me neither. I’m sure they’ll be fine though. My boys are tougher than they look.”

Regulus shook his head, bordering on frantic. “No!” he said, his tone the loudest he’d ever taken with her. “You don’t understand, I...they can’t...if something happens, they...they…” Regulus hung his head, dejected. “I can’t- Just nevermind.”

“You can tell me,” Lily assured him.

“No, I can’t! Because-” He stopped suddenly. He made a few muted facial expressions which Lily couldn’t decipher. He was clearly thinking about something. “I- Are you sure? I don’t want to...upset you.”

Lily smiled, trying to reassure him. “You won’t, I promise you.”

Regulus took a deep breath. “I died,” he began. “And I know you all think it doesn’t matter, and...that’s great, but you have to realize that...this is forever for me.” Lily nodded, slowly. “If I lose any of you, that’s it.” It was then that the reality of what he was saying hit Lily like a ton of bricks. “And I know I did the right thing, in coming back, because somebody has to end him. But at the same time…” He shrugged, but didn’t finish his statement, either at a loss for words, or afraid to say them.

The silence went on for painfully long. Lily looked at Regulus, studying him. How long had he known this? How long had he been holding it in?

“Who else knows this?” Lily asked. “Have you told-”

“Sirius?” Regulus finished. “No, I haven’t. I...well, don’t take this the wrong way, but I didn’t really mean to tell you. It just all...came out I guess.” He seemed a bit uncomfortable, but not on edge, like he had been moments ago. “Well, um, thanks for listening.”

Lily nodded. “Thank you for telling me.” She almost reached out, to comfort him, before reminding herself she couldn’t. “For what it’s worth, I think you should tell Sirius all this.”

Lily would admit that, from what she’d seen of Sirius and Regulus, the two weren’t great at talking with each other--Hypocrite, a voice in her head mocked--but they really were getting better, it seemd. At least they actually try.

Regulus shrugged, and he made that face one makes when they’re trying not to make any face at all. “Yeah,” he muttered, weakly, “maybe.”

Lily didn’t know whether or not to believe that, but didn’t press the issue. He seemed to have a lot going on in his head without her involvement anyways.

Chapter Text

January 23, 1981
Black Manor
8:12 PM

Sirius Black brushed the hair from his eyes, and readied to try the spell again. “Exsecratus ignis!” Fire sprung from the wand tip, and grew...and grew...and stopped. It didn’t form into anything, or take shape. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but the sides seemed to fizzle, and it looked like it was growing smaller. He extinguished it, and tried again. His tone more forceful, though it yielded the same results.

“Are you concentrating?” Regulus asked. His tone may have been unassuming, but to Sirius it was absolutely grating.

“Of course I’m concentrating!” Sirius snapped. Regulus started, and held up his hands in surrender.

“You’re doing brilliant, Padfoot,” Lily said. Liar, Sirius thought, kind, but a liar.

“Are you concentrating on the right things?” Regulus asked. Perhaps that was supposed to be helpful, but it made no sense to Sirius.

Sirius huffed, letting his wand arm fall to his side, and swiping at his brow with his other hand. “And what are the right things?”

Regulus had a thoughtful look, but he shrugged. “You just seem like you’re angry.” Sirius scowled. That much was obvious. “I thought you might be thinking about that instead.”

“Of course I’m angry, I can’t get the bloody spell to work!” Sirius was nearly shouting by now. “Do you have any advice that will actually help? Or are you just enjoying criticizing me without me being able to reciprocate?”

“Sirius,” Remus muttered, weakly enough it really only mimicked a criticism. None of them wanted to get involved too heavily when it came to Regulus and himself.

“Maybe we should just stop for the night?” Regulus offered.

Sirius stared right back at his brother, and the stupid sympathetic look on his face. “I’m perfectly capable of-”

“I know you’re capable,” Regulus interjected. “But I just think if you take a break--like you’re always telling me to do--” Sirius’ confidence wavered at that. Regulus continued, “Then you might have more success.”

Sirius sighed. “Fine, you win.” He hated how right Regulus was. It was rather irritating, especially to have his own words used against him. (Not that he was wrong, but all the same: irritating.)

Regulus smiled in a way that was almost innocent.

“Alright, mate?” James asked, stepping closer and putting an arm around Sirius.

“Fine,” Sirius assured him. “It’s just that I haven’t had that kind of trouble with a spell since...sixth year, maybe?”

James nodded. “I know what you mean. And those were nonverbal.” Sirius gave a weak laugh. “Dark magic’s gonna kick our butts one way or another. I prefer this way.”

“There’s that James Potter optimism we love,” Remus remarked as he stepped towards them. He had spent most of the evening simply talking with the others, only casting the spell a few times. It took a lot out of you, and with the full moon having only been three days ago, Remus was--although he tried to hide it--fairly tired.. “I gotta go, I’ll see you lot.”

“Bye Moony,” James and Sirius chorused.

“I guess we ought to get home, too,” James added as Remus left. He pulled Sirius into a tight hug. “I’ll see you, mate.”

And then he and Lily left, and it was just Sirius and Regulus.

When the others were certainly long gone, and there’d been several seconds of silence between the remaining two, Regulus spoke up. “Sirius? Do you think I-” he stopped, and looked down at his feet.

“Do I think you what?”

Regulus shook his head, dismissing it. “Forget it. I don’t know...how to say it.”

“Try,” Sirius urged him. “Come on, let’s walk.” He nodded at the hills surrounding them, beautiful, and--the further ones, untouched by the spell practice--covered in snow. Sirius supposed he ought to be cold, but the warmth of the spell remained with him, acting like a blanket. They started in the direction of the manor. Regulus remained silent. “What did you want to ask me?”

“Do you think I’m too closed-off?” Regulus asked at length. “Be honest,” he added.

“You are pretty closed-off,” Sirius acknowledged. “But you let people in when you’re ready. If your pride doesn’t get in the way, that is.”

“Hm." Regulus’ answer was noncommittal.

"Why are you asking, anyways?"

"Just...because," Regulus said.

Sirius looked at him, trying to read his face. "C'mon, Regs, why are you really asking?"

Regulus shrugged, somewhat unconvincingly. "I've just been thinking," he answered.

"You're always thinking," Sirius pointed out. "But why the sudden concern about this? It seems like it's really bothering you."

"It's not bothering me. I just thought I'd ask, is all."

“Right.” Sirius’ tone was dubious.

“Shut up,” Regulus mumbled to his feet.

Sirius didn’t press it, though he might later. It was then he realized they were approaching the garden. He’d all but forgotten about the garden. It had always been rather beautiful. One aspect of holidays to the Manor he’d always tolerated, and probably would’ve even enjoyed, had he had the patience.

He hadn’t seen it since Narcissa’s wedding. More relevantly, he hadn’t seen it since Grandmother Melania had died.

He shifted his course slightly, so they were heading towards it. Regulus followed him, although he seemed stiff, and reluctant.

The garden--once a sight to behold--was now simply...tragic. It was barren. The flowers were dead, brown stems. Any blossoms that had remained had fallen, and lay on the ground, faded and trampled upon. There were some trees with bare branches, and whether they were dying with the rest of the garden, or simply empty because it was wintertime, Sirius did not know. Even the grass--that which peaked through the snow--was overgrown, and browning.

Regulus looked dejected. Sirius knew he’d always loved spending time in this garden. Even Sirius himself, who hadn’t been so attached to it, had to admit it was weird seeing something so familiar looking so different. Something he’d always associated with his youth looking so dead.

“I’d have thought maybe, the house-elves,” he didn’t finish the thought before Regulus shook his head.

“Grandfather asked them not to anymore, after Cissa’s wedding. Grandmother never liked them in here, anyways. Gardening she liked to do herself. Mother was furious, she said it would give the wrong impression of the family. Grandfather said,'' Regulus gave a dry chuckle, as if sharing a joke with himself, “Grandfather said once she found me a suitable girl to court, he’d get started on tending it again. But I suppose now...he needn’t bother.”

Unlike a few of the other times it had come up, Regulus was clearly upset. “I’m sorry, Regs.”

Regulus’ hand found the tip of his opposite sleeve. “Oh, it’s not missing my own wedding that’s the issue.” Sirius marveled at the odd phrasing for a short moment, before Regulus spoke again. “Sirius, can I tell you something?”

Sirius was shocked at the question, and rather moved that Regulus wanted to divulge anything to him. “Yeah, sure.”

“Several things, really,” Regulus amended.

“Okay.”

“And they’re kinda...heavy,” he added, uncertain.

“Alright.”

“And it’s a bit perso-”

“Regs!” Sirius interrupted, laughing uncertainly. “Just tell me. Whatever it is, it’s okay. You’re not gonna scare me off, okay?” Regulus nodded. “Good.” Sirius sat down on one of the stone benches, which was no longer the bright white color it had once been, but weathered to a light grey. He gently patted the spot beside him, and Regulus came to join him.

Regulus took a deep breath, and kept his gaze ahead. “I don’t know where to start.”

“The beginning?” Sirius suggested.

“If only it were that simple,” Regulus muttered. Then, he said suddenly: “I saw this garden a year ago. When I died.” Sirius didn’t know what to say. Regulus continued. “And it was like it had been before. I think...well, I know, that Grandmother was supposed to meet me there. I think she was supposed to...guide me, or something. To whatever else there is.”

“But?” Sirius asked, nervously.

Regulus sighed. “But she wasn’t allowed. I had unfinished business, so I had to talk to Death.”

“Death?” Sirius asked. “As in...like in stories?” Regulus nodded. “Merlin.”

“I know. It was...weird. He said I had unfinished business. And if I saw Grandmother she might influence my decision.” Regulus paused for a long time, looking up at the sky, sprinkled with stars. “And...that’s that. I’m never gonna get another chance.”

Sirius couldn’t put a pin in what, but he knew that there was something big he was missing. Something unsettling. There was a feeling of dread in his stomach he couldn't explain just yet. “Regs?”

“What I mean is...once you- once you’re gone, I can’t- we can’t-”

“Regs, what are you saying?” Sirius asked, the dread in his stomach growing, and threatening to rear its ugly head.

Regulus turned to Sirius, quiet tears running down his cheeks, and a silent plea on his face as they looked each other in the eyes. “Don’t make me explain it.”

He looked so young. He was so young. He was just a kid. Sirius felt tears in his own eyes. “Regulus, I-” he stopped.

“Don’t die, Sirius,” Regulus whispered. “Please, don’t die.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say.

Without thinking he reached his arm around his brother’s shoulder. He made no contact, obviously, but the usual chill was mysteriously absent.

Regulus’ eyes widened. “How…?” his voice was strained from crying, and he didn’t finish the question, but Sirius didn’t need him to.

It was then he remembered the warmth that had come from performing the spell, and how it had made him impervious to the cold weather. And Godric, had it been frustrating, but maybe his attempts at Fiendfyre had been worth it for this.

Regulus Black knew it was selfish, but in a moment of weakness--vulnerability, Sirius would call it--he let himself say it. “Don’t die, Sirius. Please, don’t die.”

There was nothing but silence, when Regulus felt a warmth around his shoulders. “How…?” he began, though he stopped when he heard how cracked and shaky his voice sounded. Merlin, he hated crying.

Sirius seemed to be as surprised as he was, and thought about it for a bit. “The fiendfyre, I think. I haven't felt the cold all night." Regulus nodded, supposing it made sense.

It wasn't tangible by any means, but the warmth of it was the most comforting thing he'd felt since becoming a ghost. Possibly even before that.

They reveled in this new discovery for a moment, until Sirius brought them back around. “You’re worried I’m gonna die?” he asked.

“Everyone dies, Sirius,” Regulus said, staring straight ahead, and trying to keep his face blank.

“Don’t do that, Regs. Tell me what you’re really thinking.” For a fleeting moment, Regulus wanted to tell Sirius to shove off, and leave him alone.

The reason everyone’s trying to poke at what you’re thinking is that you don’t tell anyone anything, Pandora’s voice echoed in his head.

He’d tried, though. He’d started this conversation, hadn’t he?

For what it’s worth, I think you should tell Sirius, Lily had said.

But it was becoming too much.

“Please,” Sirius added. And for whatever reason, that was enough that Regulus kept going.

“You can’t die,” Regulus said, his voice still shaking. “Or I’m gonna lose you forever.”

Regulus looked at Sirius, and saw that his brother wasn’t incredibly surprised. Concerned, yes, but not surprised. And worst of all, he wasn’t saying anything.

“Sirius?” he asked, half unsure, and half begging for a response--any response.

“You can’t think like that, Regs,” Sirius said, finally. “You’re not gonna lose me. I promise, I’m gonna do everything I can to stay alive as long as I can for you.”

Sirius wrapped him in a sort of hug with his other arm. Regulus, almost to his own surprise, let him. It didn’t ease his worries, but it was nice all the same, and Regulus let the moment go on far longer than he ever had before. If Sirius noticed, or found it odd, he didn’t say anything.

“I love you, Siri,” Regulus muttered, because he felt he’d gone long enough without saying it.

Sirius pulled back from the hug, and looked Regulus in the eyes. He was smiling, not his usual smirk, or the fake smile he put up sometimes (Sirius wasn’t the only one who noticed things about the other), but an honest to goodness smile. “I love you, too, Regs.” Regulus fought a smile, unsure if he even deserved that.

Regulus looked up at the sky, and all the stars that were visible from out here. He found himself and Sirius amongst them with ease. He looked between the two stars. He always looked to the stars for answers, no matter how old he got or how illogical it seemed.

At some point, Regulus realized that his family--parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, even Sirius--didn’t have all the answers. And then he’d more or less given up on looking to people for help.

He’d given up on people. Not any people in specific, just the whole race, the entirety of scores upon scores of imperfect beings.

He wasn’t going to give up on them again, though, no matter what Lady Helena had to say about it.

Chapter Text

January 29, 1981
The Potter’s House
11:56 PM

Lily Potter felt herself slowly drifting off to sleep, when all of a sudden, her forehead made contact with something hard. She shot upright, suddenly alert. It was then she realized she was still sitting at the kitchen table.

She and James had been talking long after dinner, going over all the information Pandora had told them about the Department of Mysteries. James had gone upstairs when Harry had started crying, and Lily had apparently been about to succumb to sleep, where it not for the kitchen table.

Lily sighed. Perhaps I ought to just turn in for the night, she thought.

“He's asleep again.” Lily turned to see James re-entering the room. “Thank Godric.” He sat at the table, next to her. “Now, where were we?”

Lily looked at the map that Pandora had--very illegally--drawn for them. “It’s straight through the time room Pan mentioned, and then apparently Harry’s prophecy is in row 97-” Lily pointed where the row was marked on the map with a smiley face. Why a smiley face, Lily had no idea. “-and then we can leave from her office which is-”

“Stop!” James interrupted.

Lily looked at him, trying to comprehend what he was talking about. “What?”

“Stop right there,” James repeated. He pointed at the clock. It was midnight. Lily’s tired brain was slowly trying to work out what that was supposed to mean. “No more working for you, birthday girl.”

“Were you watching the clock the whole time I was talking?” Lily asked.

“That’s irrelevant. You’re supposed to relax today, love. I refuse to let you stress yourself out.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “What if I want to stress myself out?”

James laughed. “C’mon, Lil, what you need is a good night’s sleep. You have a full day of partying tomorrow.”

A good night’s sleep did sound nice. Maybe after they finished going over the plan. “James, this really is important.”

James pouted. “But Pandora said she can’t get us into the Department for another week anyways.”

Lily sighed. “Okay, you win.” She stood up. “I am rather tired.” James smirked. “James, what- Hey!”

James picked her up, and held her in front of him like she was some kind of damsel. It was admittedly a bit cheesy, but it was sweet. Lily leaned her head against his chest, and tried not to wake Harry with her laughter. She couldn’t help it, this was the doofus she’d fallen in love with.

Chapter Text

February 2, 1981
Sirius Black’s Flat
4:03 PM

Regulus Black had an idea. It was only half formed, but as he floated around Sirius’ living room, he couldn’t help but come back to it every time he dismissed it.

What he needed was someone on the inside at Hogwarts. Someone who could listen in on Dumbledore, and report back.

Not a student, though. Regulus couldn’t--he wouldn’t--let another child be forced into the war.

It occured to Regulus that he didn’t know who to trust in the school. He’d never really trusted any of the staff. Admittedly, that probably hadn’t been a good thing. Trust had never come easy to him, though.

Maybe Sirius would have some idea. Then again, sometimes Sirius was too trusting for Regulus’ taste. But what is there to lose by just asking? Regulus supposed. With a sigh, he made his way to Sirius’ room.

He found Sirius lying on his bed, reading a book. That was unusual.

“And you call me a nerd,” Regulus said, trying and failing to casually lean against the door frame. Sirius was trying not to laugh at him, but Regulus could see it in his eyes. “What are you reading?”

Sirius shut his book. “Nothing.”

“My bad. What are you looking at pictures of?” Regulus amended.

“Haha,” Sirius deadpanned. “Very clever. What do you want, anyways?”

“Who said I want something?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I did have one question.”

Sirius sat up on the bed and crossed his legs. “Shoot.”

“Who do you know at Hogwarts?” Regulus asked, bluntly.

Sirius looked at him funny, but thought about it. “Minnie?” Regulus arched a brow at him. Sirius looked just as confused. “Professor McGonagall?” he asked again.

“Oh. Why on Earth…” Regulus decided it wasn’t worth it. At best Sirius wouldn’t explain it. At worst, he actually would, thus bringing down the average intelligence of the room. He settled for a simple “you and Potter are idiots,” instead, to which Sirius simply laughed. “I don’t know if we should trust her, she’d probably report back to Dumbledore.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. I guess all the teachers would. And I don’t know any students.”

“I refuse to get any more students involved in the war.”

Sirius nodded, seeming to turn melancholic. Regulus knew they were both thinking of the same thing.

“Who else is there?” Regulus wondered aloud, forcing the conversation ahead, and away from his own painful memories.

Sirius began listing options off on his fingers. “Well, there are the ghosts, of course, but you already tried that. Peeves is risky at best. Filch hates me, Pince and Pomfrey are too no-nonsense, and Hagrid’s great, but he’s probably more loyal to Dumbledore than the house-elves.”

Regulus felt a rush of relief through him before the idea was even fully formed. “Of course,” he whispered to himself. “Of course. Thanks, Sirius!” Sirius just looked confused. “Kreacher!” Regulus called.

Sirius let out an overly heavy sigh, and collapsed on his bed. Regulus simply rolled his eyes at the dramatics.

But Kreacher didn’t show.

Sirius grabbed the alarm clock off his bedside table. “It’s a little after four. He’s probably serving her tea. What do you need, anyways?”

“I need him to join the other elves at Hogwarts, so we can have someone on the inside.” Regulus was aware that that probably made him sound paranoid, but at this point he didn’t really care. “He can keep an eye on Dumbledore, if anything arises surrounding that sword. I know he told the Order about it, but who knows how much else he could be hiding from you.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. At this point, I don’t really know myself.”

“How do you remember that?” Regulus asked after a beat of silence. “When Mother has tea, I mean.”

“I just do,” Sirius answered, shrugging. “Tea is always at four. Salad forks are on the outside. Don’t speak unless spoken to.” Regulus frowned. “What?”

“I just never thought you...retained any of that.”

“Thanks,” Sirius scoffed, tossing the clock at Regulus. They both watched it go right through his chest. Sirius sighed, and sat up.

“I would have caught it if I could have,” Regulus pointed out.

“Cocky much?” Sirius teased.

“I was a seeker, remember?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Of course I bloody remember.”

Regulus smiled at that, and tried to turn it into a more casual sort of smirk. “And I was rather good at it.”

Sirius laughed. “Oh, were you now? Godric, you’re worse than James.”

“I’m better than him, actually.”

“Such confidence. It’s not a bad color on you.” Sirius looked him deliberately in the eye. “Wear it more.”

Regulus blinked at him. “I- Shut up, git.” He rolled his eyes, and tried to brush the comment off.

“Did you get any offers?” Sirius asked. “For quidditch, I mean. James got some, but...he couldn’t just not fight.”

Regulus’ smile faltered. “It was...similar for me.” But a less noble cause to fight for.

“No way, really?” Sirius asked, sitting up suddenly. “Which teams?”

“Kenmare and Tutshill.” Regulus tried to sound casual, but had to fight a grin at Sirius’ shocked face.

“Dang. The Kestrels won that year.”

Regulus nodded emphatically, a childlike part of him proud he’d impressed Sirius. “I know. And the Tornadoes came in third.”

“Which would you have taken?” Sirius asked. “If there wasn’t a war.”

“Neither,” he answered. “I’d have been an Unspeakable. Because I’d actually have NEWTs then.”

“That’s so cool,” Sirius murmured. “The Department of Mysteries. Merlin.”

Regulus smiled. “I mean, Mother and Father probably would have-”

“Who cares?” Sirius interrupted. “You’d be happy.”

Regulus thought about that. He would’ve been. Mother would have been disappointed in him, probably--working was ‘beneath him’ or so he’d heard--but he would’ve been fine with that, or at the very least happy in spite of it.

Sirius interrupted his thoughts. “Speaking of the Department of Mysteries, Lily said Pandora’s coming tonight.” He was referring to their meeting at the Potter’s to research, something they were doing nearly every night now, apart from when there were Order meetings.

Pandora would be there. Circe. “Can’t we just stay home?” Regulus pleaded.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but to Regulus’ surprise, he didn’t ask about Pandora. “Home, huh?” he asked, looking for confirmation.

Regulus realized what he’d said, and tried to brush it off. “You know what I meant.”

Sirius grinned, and Regulus knew what was coming. He looked at his feet, wishing his brother would just drop it for once.

Sirius Black couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Can’t we just stay home?” Regulus asked.

Surely he doesn't mean…

“Home, huh?” Sirius asked, hopeful, but trying to sound casual.

Regulus shifted awkwardly, and made a valiant attempt at playing casual. “You know what I meant.”

Sirius beamed. Regulus thinks this is home. Regulus was clearly trying to avoid his gaze, as he was concentrating on the floor. “Yeah, I know.” Regulus looked up, seeming almost surprised. Sirius was suddenly vividly reminded of himself.

Sixteen, and standing in the Potter’s kitchen, trying to explain to Fleamont that he hadn’t meant to call him ‘Dad.’ He’d picked it up from James, it had just slipped out, that was all. He remembered that day vividly.

Godric, don’t cry, he scolded himself.

Sirius looked back to Regulus, searching for the right thing to say. He remembered the way the Potter’s had been so reassuring and welcoming to him back then.

“Regulus, I- You should know, this can be your home if you...if you want.” Regulus looked startled. “I mean, I don’t want to force you or anything, I’m just saying. You’re always welcome. Even after everything’s done.”

“Okay,” was all Regulus said at first. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, Regs.”

Regulus made his way out of the room as the silence grew. Sirius called after him, “So are we just gonna ignore that you wanted to skip out tonight when you heard Pandora would be there?”

He heard a groan from the hallway, followed by a “It’s none of your business, Sirius!”

Sirius laughed. Merlin, he hoped the little dork stuck around. It had occurred to him that he was almost counting on it. The past month, whenever he’d allowed himself to dream about the war being over, Regulus was right there with him. When he thought about the future, wondered what that would look like: Regulus was always a part of it.

He’d inserted himself back into Sirius’ life, and suddenly there was a place for him. As if there’d already been a place that needed to be filled.

Chapter Text

February 2, 1981
The Potter’s House
7:08 PM

Pandora Lovegood followed James through the Potter’s house to the kitchen. Everyone was sitting around the table in a near replica of the day she’d first joined them. And that included the one absence.

She looked around at them, her eyes stopping on Sirius. “Where is-”

“Backyard,” he interrupted, standing up. “I’ll get him.”

“I’d be happy to,” Pandora offered, moving to the back door.

Sirius frowned. “If you’re sure,” he relented. Pandora wondered how much he knew about the two of them. Had Regulus told him they’d fought?

Pandora walked out into the yard. Regulus was looking up at the stars, as was quite usual for him.

Pandora walked up next to him, scanning the sky herself. “There you are,” she said, pointing vaguely.

“There I am,” Regulus repeated, monotone.

There was silence. Pandora wanted to apologize, but she wasn’t sure how to breach it. She couldn’t quite tell how Regulus would react.

How someone reacted wasn’t the sort of thing that bothered Pandora when it came to some things. But when it came to people’s feelings, it was a whole other quidditch match, as Emmeline would say.

“How have you been?” she tried.

Regulus shrugged. “Fi-” He stopped, and turned to look at her. She searched his face, and could see he was doing the same to her. He looked to be thinking something over for quite a while, and then he let out a sigh, and began speaking. “As well as I’ve been in a year, I suppose. You’ll be glad to know I talked to Sirius. Opened up, and...that sort of thing.”

Pandora nodded. “That’s good.”

Regulus shrugged. “I suppose so. I mean, it...it’s important. To talk about things, and what I’m saying is...that...you were right. And I’m sorry.”

“I am, too,” Pandora said. “Those things I said about you-”

“Were accurate,” Regulus interrupted.

Pandora shook her head. “No, no, that doesn’t mean I had any right.”

“You absolutely did. I mean, if I’d just figured that out sooner...who knows? We might have never-” Regulus stopped suddenly, putting a hand to his mouth as if he needed to stop words from coming out. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice barely there, just a thin whisper. “I didn’t mean- I shouldn’t have brought that up, that’s a whole other...thing.”

Pandora looked back to the sky. Because if she was honest, she didn’t know what she’d find on Regulus’ face as she spoke. And while the unknown normally thrilled her...this was terrifying. “Who knows. Perhaps if things had been different, then they’d be different. But...Xenophilius is great, and-”

“You’re happy with him,” Regulus finished. “I know. And you’ve got a baby on the way, and that’s great.” Pandora looked back to Regulus, only to find he too was looking at the sky, with a sort of half-smile on his face. “And I know that the last thing you need right now is the ghost of your ex-boyfriend showing up, and...talking about the past. But I-” Regulus sighed, and buried his face in his hands. “Merlin.”

His shoulders were shaking, and she could hear muffled crying. Oh Rowena, this is the worst way this could have gone.

“Merlin, this is dreadful,” Regulus said, running a hand through his hair and laughing like a maniac. “I’m awful at this. You’ll have to forgive me, I only learned two weeks ago that one should talk about their feelings.”

Pandora bit her lip, scanning his face to see if he was being earnest. He might have genuinely meant it, or he might not have, but Pandora suspected it was somewhere in the middle.

But he was beaming all the same, and Pandora let herself laugh with him.

After nearly a minute of manic laughter, Pandora shifted in discomfort. “What’s the matter?” Regulus asked.

“They’re just kicking. Must be getting restless, at this point.” She put her hand over her stomach, trying to protect her baby from a nonexistent threat. Not that there aren’t threats, Pandora thought. Even in her own mind, she only whispered it.

Crazy fit of laughter over, Pandora looked around, and was almost surprised to remember where they were, the Potter’s house behind them. “How long have we been out here?”

“No idea,” Regulus answered, looking from her to the house. “Think they started without us?” he asked, clearly nervous.

Pandora smiled a bit at that, and began the short walk back to the house. “They won’t start without you, Reg.” He followed her as she added, “You’re the brains of this operation.”

“I’m not the-”

“Plus, your brother’s probably too busy losing his mind worrying about you to start.”

Regulus rolled his eyes at that. “Oh, please. It’s just the backyard.”

Pandora shrugged. “He seemed odd earlier,” she mused. Regulus furrowed his brow a bit, but for the most part he was clearly trying not to look curious. “Does he know about us? When we were at school?”

“Yeah, I told him some of it. And he might have guessed that we had a fight.”

Pandora nodded. That certainly would explain Sirius’ behavior when she’d arrived. It was sweet, the way he tried to be protective.

Sirius didn’t seem to be the type of person who would take to being called ‘sweet’ all that easily. Naturally, Pandora made a mental note to do exactly that at the next available opportunity.

Chapter Text

February 12, 1981
The Department of Mysteries
11:00 PM

James Potter looked around the small office they were in. It had a desk covered in papers and a few framed photos. There was a shelf with rows of books, and another with rows of vials: potions, ingredients, and some things even James had never seen before. It made him think of his dad. Opposite the fireplace they’d come out of was a large bulletin board, with papers and photos pinned to it.

Pandora waved her wand at the papers on the desk, and they arranged themselves into a neat stack. She then laid out the map they’d used to plan, and pointed at the hallway off of her office. “This is the Time Passage. Don’t touch anything, and stay close to me.” She traced her finger through the narrow room, and into the large chamber at the end of it. “Here’s the Hall of Prophecy. We’re going to row ninety-seven. The only one who can touch a prophecy is Harry, and only the one meant for him.” She turned to Lily. “You have the tape recorder?” Lily nodded, and held up the tape recorder in question, shifting Harry on her hip. Pandora nodded. Then to James: “You have your cloak?”

“Right here,” James said, patting the pocket he had his invisibility cloak in.

“Have it ready. There shouldn’t be anyone here this late, but all Unspeakables have constant access.”

“Really?” Lily asked. “Like, twenty-four seven?”

Pandora shrugged. “When that’s the pace time moves at, sure.” Lily and James exchanged a look when Pandora fixed her attention back to the map, rolling it back up. James shrugged.

“Incendio,” Pandora said, cool as could be, with a tap to the roll of parchment. It burst into flames, giving James a slight startle. It left a pile of ash in her hands, which Pandora brushed into the rubbish bin. She paused to examine the black stain on her hands, before disregarding it. “Let us go, then, you and I.” Her voice bounced like a cadence as she pulled her hood up so that it hung over the top half of her face.

She opened the door, which James took hold of, letting Lily pass him with Harry. When it shut behind him he finally got a good look at what was outside the office. “Wow,” he breathed. The walls were covered in clocks, and no two were the same. None of them were even normal. There were clocks that had letters, and clocks with runes. Clocks that moved slower, or faster, or even backwards. There were even hourglasses, and a sundial with a small light orbiting it.

Pandora set off down the hallway, and James and Lily followed. They were passing a large bell jar with a bird when James heard the sound of a heavy door being opened. He threw the cloak over himself and his family.

“Oh, Pandora! Just who I was hoping to see.” It was a man in a long, dark blue robe much like Pandora’s, and they both pulled their hoods off to talk. “I had a look around the Archives.” He brandished a stack of parchment. “Here’s a list of titles. We have surprisingly few texts on souls. Of course, you can research in the Death Chamber, once you’re-” He paused, and looked at Pandora’s belly. “Wait a moment, aren’t you supposed to be on maternity leave?”

Pandora shook her head. “I’m fine, thank you Jacobs. The Healer gave me a list of what to avoid. It’s just here, Space, and Prophecy for me.”

Jacobs shrugged. “Alrighty, then. I’ll just leave this in your office, and do a last sweep of the other rooms. Holler if you need anything.” With that, he was off, in the direction that they had just come.

Pandora continued on, and James followed her, nudging Lily who had frozen in awe as the bird in the jar grew and shrunk. Harry stared with her, laughing every time the bird hatched from the egg, and James was glad he’d used a silencing charm.

“You sure you’re okay?” James asked in a hushed whisper.

“Just brilliant. Really,” Pandora answered.

She opened another door, and James gasped at the towering rows upon rows of spun glass balls. They had a mystical blue glow about them, and were swirling with what James could only describe as pure magic.

He turned to Lily, to see her taking it in as well.

“Don’t touch any of them. Right this way.” Pandora led them past the rows of orbs until they turned into one. She winced a bit when they were only halfway through the row. James’ immediate reaction was worry, but his wife remained calm.

“Kicking?” Lily asked, sympathetic.

Pandora nodded. “Yeah. Let’s just get it and go, especially with someone else about.” They kept walking until she stopped a short ways away from the end of the row. “Here it is.”

The glass ball was in no way distinct from any of the others. James studied the initials written under it, but Lily spoke up first. “It doesn’t say it’s about Harry.”

“Yes,” Pandora mused. “That happens often. There’s likely some sort of qualifier within the prophecy that narrows the pool down.”

James furrowed his brow. “But you said-” he looked to Lily for confirmation, and she seemed to be thinking the same thing. He swallowed and continued, “you said that if the wrong person touches it, they could go insane.”

“Harry has nothing to worry about.” James gave a skeptical look. “From the lack of initials, we know that there is no one out there whom the qualifier applies to. And until such a time as the qualifier applies, anyone who fits the other specifications is, in essence, the subject of the prophecy.”

James and Lily exchanged a look. “I…think I understand?” Lily offered. “So it fits Harry right now. And once this qualifier thing happens, it might not?” she asked, James could tell she was trying not to sound too hopeful.

“Or it could fit only him,” James added.

“Exactly. Are you ready?” Pandora looked between them both, her face earnest as she asked that question.

James and Lily looked at each other. Pandora genuinely understood that they might not be ready, might not trust her. But they were, and they did. Lily nodded at James, and passed him Harry.

Lily pulled out her tape recorder from her pocket, and with a tap of her wand, it returned to full size. She set it going, as James guided Harry’s hand to the prophecy, keeping a steady grip on his son’s elbow.

For the first time since meeting her, James thought he understood what Pandora was talking about. Time didn’t seem to be moving at it’s usual pace. As Harry reached out, and James tried to guide his son away from all the other orbs, time was moving far slower.

Grabbing was something Harry was still working on. Or rather, knowing what to grab and when to grab it.

Harry grasped his tiny fingers around the prophecy, but it was far too large for his hands. That’s how it ended up on the floor, shattered. That’s why we brought a tape recorder, James reminded himself with a deep breath. He pushed aside the temporary worry, and focused on the prophecy:

“The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...”

The words died out, and James was still staring at the broken glass, and the dissipating mist. Harry was looking down at it too, and then looking back to James, trying to figure out what was happening around him. His brain was repeating all the defining factors of the person the prophecy mentioned, and James realized his son fit it like a puzzle piece.

“Lily,” he muttered. His wife’s face was stone cold with determination. She was clearly trying everything she could to keep herself calm.

“We can sort it out at home, James.” Her voice was empty with shock. “Let’s get back.” She shrunk the tape recorder to put in her pocket, and turned to make her way out of the maze of prophecies.

James followed her, simultaneously reluctant at the dismissal, and determined to leave. They stopped after a good yard or so, and realized Pandora was several feet behind.

James saw her holding her stomach. “Are you sure…”

She bit her lip and shook her head. “It’s just kicks. They’re restless in there. Maybe I’ll ask the hea-” Pandora stopped mid-sentence, her eyes widening.

“What is it?” James asked.

But Lily rushed past him, all of a sudden having snapped out of her shock in the name of her friend. “Her water broke. Didn’t it?” Pandora nodded, her face still frozen in the same expression. James realized he’d never seen this bright, joyful girl appear quite so nervous before.

She gave a weak smile, the anxiety still clear in her eyes. “I guess the baby’s coming.”

Chapter Text

February 13, 1981
The Potter’s House
1:03 AM

Remus Lupin was in an…interesting situation. They’d been staying up awaiting the return of Lily, James, and Pandora, with the complete prophecy. According to the patronus James sent, everything had gone according to plan, right up until Pandora’s water broke.

Lily and James were staying with her until Xenophilius arrived, and Sirius had flooed to the hospital to get Lily’s tape recorder. The idea was that it would be a welcome distraction, but Remus wasn’t so certain of that.

Regulus was on the kitchen table, looking bored. “You can go if you want.”

“No, I’m fine here. It’s fine.”

“Hm.” There was clearly something he wanted to say, but Remus had no idea how to get it out of him. Remus turned away from the coffee he was preparing to raise an eyebrow at the younger boy. Regulus seemed to deal in subtleties, when he wasn’t shouting at Sirius. “I’d go if I could,” he elaborated. “That’s all.”

Remus nodded. “Well, I’m happy to keep you company.” He turned back to his coffee, thinking that was that. He didn’t want to have to elaborate.

Regulus gave a sigh. “You mean you aren’t bored here? Just waiting on everyone else?” Remus shrugged. “Ugh! I’m an introvert, and I’m losing it!” Remus looked behind him to see Regulus laying across the table on his back with his head upside down off the edge. It seemed like something Sirius would do.

“You didn’t talk to anyone but your house-elf for a year,” Remus pointed out, turning around to engage in the conversation.

“But we were making progress. Well, sometimes we were. The point is, I was occupied for most of it. When I wasn’t researching, I was panicking or wallowing in self-pity.”

Remus nodded. “Been there.”

“Really?” Regulus asked, skeptical. “No offense, but I guess I thought you lot had your stuff together.”

“There’s a war going on, Regulus. Nobody has their stuff together. That’s why I’m not at the hospital.” Regulus looked confused at that. “I just...don’t like hospitals in general. They're kind of...a part of my ‘stuff’.”

“Oh.” A look of realization dawned on his face. “Oh! Crap, I’m so sorry, I kept saying things about-”

Remus shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I might go when the baby’s born, but at this point I’m sure it would just be too crowded for Pandora to relax.” He turned back to his drink, and began stirring in cream and sugar. He really needed the caffeine, but plain coffee was far too bitter for his tastes.

“You and her were close, right?” Regulus asked.

Remus smirked, grateful he was facing away from Regulus. “Oh, Pandora and I were close?”

Now that he’d shown his hand, Remus turned around to see Regulus’ eyes wide, his mouth and eyebrows moving as if they couldn’t decide what facial expression to form, let alone what words to say. “I...did Sirius-” Regulus sat back up in a hurry. He probably would’ve dizzied himself if such a thing were possible. “I’m going to kill him!” he announced.

Remus laughed. “Relax. I’ve had it figured out since we were in school. Mostly. I didn’t want to be too certain of anything. Plausible deniability, if Sirius asked.”

“Oh. Um, thanks.”

Remus nodded. “You’re...welcome.” He hesitated, but, after a beat, chose honesty. “It was more for Pandora’s sake, if you don’t mind me saying. Back then...”

“Yeah. I don’t blame you. I was...awful.”

“How long has Sirius known?”

“Since January. When she joined us in this chaos.” Remus chuckled. “He totally grilled me about it. He’s insufferable like that.” Regulus laid back down.

“Yeah, Padfoot can be sort of...intense, sometimes.” He smiled wryly at his own understatement. Regulus gave an exhale that was maybe supposed to be a laugh. “Has he always been like that?”

Regulus played with his hair as he thought about it. “Blacks on the whole are intense.” Remus raised his eyebrows. “Some of us are less subtle. Sirius has never been subtle. He could always fake it when he wanted. But he started seeing through the pureblood lies, and then he stopped wanting to. Bella was like that. Bellatrix, I mean.” Sirius did that, too. As he got more distant from his family, he would correct himself for using nicknames. It was like he refused to let himself be attached. “The only difference is Sirius saw through the mask we put on, and Bellatrix didn’t think there was a need for the mask.”

Remus marveled at how insightful Regulus was. It was probably something that comes from being quiet in a family of louder people. He was an observer, Remus thought. That was something they had in common.

“Anyways,” Regulus continued. He was still messing with his hair, trying to figure out how gravity worked on it. It seemed to float whenever he tried to displace it, as if it were in water. After a while, it returned to the wet clumps that it was usually in. “Don’t tell Sirius I brought up Bellatrix. He hates when anyone makes that comparison, even if it’s accurate.”

Remus gave a weak smile and sipped his coffee. “Yeah, that sounds like him. I love him, but, y’know, like I said. Everyone has their stuff.”

“Don’t complain to me, Lupin.” Remus didn’t think it was complaining, per se, but he didn’t debate the minutiae of it. “I’m not the one who chose to be stuck with him.”

Remus raised an eyebrow at that, considering the statement.

“You sort of did, though, if I recall.”

Regulus froze, his hair floating around him, his expression unchanging. “I- Um…”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Remus added.

Regulus gave what could have been mistaken for a nod, and began sitting up. “Yeah, no. Mhm.” Whatever that meant, it was pretty clear he’d touched on something sensitive. Regulus was closing back up again.

He thought about backpedaling when they heard the fireplace roar from the next room over. “Hello?” It was Sirius.

Regulus gave Remus a firm look. “Not a word,” he whispered, menacingly. Then, softer, and a lot more sensitive, he added, with a note of apology, “please?”

Remus nodded. “We’re in here, Sirius!”

And just like that, the whole exchange he’d had with Regulus was brushed aside. For now.

Chapter Text

February 13, 1981
St. Mungo’s Hospital
1:03 AM

Lily Potter couldn’t get a break from the stress. Her mind was bouncing back and forth between worrying about the prophecy and wishing Xenophilius would show up already.

“James, do you think something happened?” she asked, panicked.

James stopped his pacing--a semi-successful attempt to sooth Harry--and turned to her. “I’m sure everything’s fine, Lily. Why don’t you go check on Pandora, yeah?”

Lily nodded. “Yeah, okay. Sounds good.”

She slowly opened the door to the room they were outside of, and stepped in.

Pandora beamed at her. “Hello, Lily.”

“Hi. How are you doing?”

“I’m...alright. Labor hasn’t started yet, but I’m still nervous. I wish Xe were here.”

“James sent a patronus, I’m sure he’ll get here as quickly as possible.”

“I know. About the prophecy…”

“Don’t,” Lily cut in, gently. “Don’t worry about that now, we’ve got it under control. Do you need anything?”

Pandora shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. I can call the nurse if I do.”

“Okay.”

“Wait- Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“Actually, could you maybe...stay? After Xenophilius gets here. You’ve done this before, and...I would really appreciate it.”

Lily smiled. “Of course I will. Don’t worry, Pan, you can do this.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime. I’m gonna go see if James has heard anything. You’re sure you don’t want anything? There’s a tea room upstairs.”

Pandora shook her head. “I’m good, thank you. I don’t feel like I could eat much right now.”

Lily nodded. “Alright. When Xenophilius gets here, maybe? You definitely shouldn’t be going hungry.”

“Yeah. When he gets here. I’m just nervous without him here.”

“Of course.” Lily smiled, as she walked back into the hallway. When Harry saw her, he held out his hands expectantly, and Lily took him from her husband. “Hey, James, um...I’m gonna stay, after Xenophilius gets here. Just to help out.”

James nodded. “Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about it. We’ll do what we can with the prophecy.”

Lily looked around in silence, and then her eyes landed on someone walking briskly down the hallway.

“Sirius!” James exclaimed. Sirius practically started running when he saw James, and they collided in a forceful hug. James laughed. “Hey, mate.”

“Thank Merlin,” Lily heard Sirius whisper. She turned away, knowing that was meant for just James.

After a moment, they broke apart. “I’m okay,” James reassured. “We’re both okay.”

“I know,” Sirius said, as if he were reminding himself. “Hey, Red.” He put an arm around Lily, and she did the same, balancing Harry on her hip.

Harry was also very excited to see Sirius, and babbled nonsense at the adults until Lily passed him over to his godfather.

“Just for a bit,” she said, as if Harry had any concept of what that meant. “He has to go back home soon.” Harry, of course, was paying her no attention.

Lily pulled the shrunken tape recorder from her pocket, and handed it to Sirius. He turned it over to inspect it. “You’ll have to enlarge it, of course. If you don’t know how to work it, I know Remus does. And…” Lily hesitated, and then continued. “There’s something about it that bothers me. Something just...didn’t sit right, when we heard it for the first time.”

“Can you be any more specific?” Sirius asked, putting the device into his own pocket. Lily frowned and shook her head. “Do you know what line?”

Lily bit her lip in thought, but nothing came to her. “No. I’ll know it when I hear it again. I hope. Just...if you figure anything out. I thought I’d tell you.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

James tried to take Harry back, but he started screaming. He sighed. “Sorry ‘bout that, mate.”

“Don’t be. Do you want me to take him home?” Sirius offered.

Jame nodded. “Could you? We don’t have his nappy bag or anything. He’s probably wet or hungry.”

“At this hour, I’d say nap,” Lily interected. “Thank you, Padfoot, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Anytime. I’ll see you lot later, yeah?”

“I’m staying, but James’ll be home soon. Hopefully,” Lily added.

“Waiting on Lovegood still?” They both nodded. “Alright. Well, I’m off then.” He pulled them both into a hug, before turning and heading back down the hallway. “Bye!” he called over his shoulder.

It was only a few minutes later when a second man came dashing through the hallway, avocado-green robes billowing behind him, and the duffle bag on his shoulder swinging back and forth. “I’m here!” he called. “Am I too late? Where’s Pandora?” He came to a stop when he was near James and Lily. “Merlin alive, we were out of floo powder.” Xenophilius spoke quickly, all his words coming out at once in a fast rush. “I had no idea where I could apparate to, so I just had to run to the Weasley’s. And it’s always chaotic in there, with all the kids, and I-” Xenophilius paused to take several shallow breaths.

“So, when you say you ran to the Weasley’s,” James specified. “You mean that very literally.”

Xenophilius nodded. “Where is-”

“Right here,” Lily interrupted, opening the door for him.

He paused in the opening to look at them. “Thank you. Thank you so much, both of you.”

“Xe!” Pandora exclaimed from her room. Xenophilius rushed to her side, and Lily shut the door behind him.

James and Lily both let out sighs of relief.

“Alright,” James said. “Well, I guess I’m going home now. I might stop by in the morning? The actual morning, not this ungodly hour.”

Lily laughed. “Mhm.” She reached out for a hug, and James folded her into one. “I’ll see you later.” She tilted her head up, and James leaned down to kiss her. “Love you.”

“Love you.” James’ reply was immediate.

“You’ll take care of everything at home?” she asked.

“Of course,” James answered, almost as immediately.

“Alright. Good luck with the prophecy. Give the boys my love.”

“Of course. See you later, Lil.”

“See you later, James.”

Chapter Text

February 13, 1981
The Potter’s House
1:44 AM

Regulus Black gave Sirius the best judgemental look he could, without acknowledging he was equally clueless. “Are you sure you’re doing that right?”

Sirius looked up with a scowl and without breaking eye contact, tapped the play button. Regulus gave a nod of concession as the recorder began playing a mystical voice.

“The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...”

They sat in the quiet for a bit as it ended, unsure what to say. Regulus honestly hadn’t registered any of it apart from the first and last bits.

“Lily’s right,” Sirius began, “I can’t sort out what it is, but something feels off about it. We’re clearly missing something.”

Remus grabbed a quill and parchment off the counter and played the recording again, copying everything down.

Regulus sighed. He was rather satisfied with their attempts. He saw no need to keep up the charade that now was a good time to focus, they weren’t gonna make any progress while worrying about Pandora.

He was saved from the pain of the fruitless task when the fireplace roared. Regulus passed through the wall adjoining the kitchen and living room to find James had arrived. “Hello Potter.”

“Hey Regulus,” he greeted, giving a tired smile as he began walking to the kitchen. “How’ve you been?”

Regulus frowned in confusion, following him. “I’m...well? I’ve been here since you left.”

James shrugged. “I thought you might be stressed about Pandora. Xenophilius finally made it, though.” They were right by the kitchen now, and Sirius and Remus seemed relieved to hear that news, as was Regulus. “And Lily’s staying, so I’m sure she’ll keep us updated. I’ll check on her later. She sends her love.”

Regulus found that to be an odd thing to drop so casually into polite conversation. It’s...rather awkward, he thought.

No one else seemed bothered by it, though. Regulus supposed it could just be one of those “normal family” sorts of things that were alien to him. Regulus sort of wished he’d grown up with that.

Not that there was any point in dwelling on it, of course.

“Lily said there’s something off about the prophecy, but I don’t know what,” Sirius was saying, looking over Remus’ shoulder at his notes.

Remus nodded. “Well, for one thing there’s this ‘thrice defied him’ bit. He’s only shown up in battle once, but you guys did duel him.”

“Yeah,” James said with a nod. “And we were both on that recon mission that got ugly. But that’s only two.” A flicker of hope crossed James’ face, and he tried to stifle it. “Do you think there’s a chance…?” He didn’t dare to finish.

After a beat, Regulus spoke up. “If I may, unless you plan on backing out of this war, I think the third time will come in due course. Actually, it could very well be what we’re working on now.” Yet another pause as that sunk in. “I understand if you wish to-”

“No.” James hadn’t even stopped to think about it. “I mean, I’ll talk to Lily, but I figure...he’s after Harry either way, he’s not gonna stop to count duels. And that’s assuming that ‘defying him’ is exclusive of the Death Eaters as a whole. So I don’t see any point in trying to hold off a third encounter. Especially not with the horcruxes. That’s a big deal, and no one else is doing anything.”

Regulus nodded at James, and gave what he hoped was a grateful smile. James smiled back.

Remus shrugged. “Well, other than that, all I can make sense of is ‘born as the seventh month dies’” James walked behind Remus to look over his other shoulder. “I’m assuming the ‘power the Dark Lord knows not’ is yet to show itself, and he hasn’t been ‘marked as an equal’ from what I can tell.” They all glanced at Harry, who was laying down in his playpen, somewhere between sleep and waking.

Sirius frowned. “Reg, you took NEWT divination. You ever discuss prophecies in that class?”

Regulus nodded. “For one thing, they’re annoyingly vague. Like, ‘as the seventh month dies?’ That could mean anything from, like, the twenty-sixth--maybe twenty-fifth--to the thirty-first.”

James picked up the parchment, and frowned at it. “Holy crap,” he whispered. He looked at Sirius and Remus. “Frank and Alice!”

“You think it could be about Neville?” Remus asked. James nodded.

Sirius looked back to Regulus. “Can it be about two people?”

Regulus bit his lip in thought. “Yes and no. It’s worded like there’s only one, but seeing as there’s that ‘marked as an equal’ bit, I’m guessing it will apply to both, until the Dark Lord chooses one.”

“But he only knows about Harry,” Sirius said with a sigh. “So I guess that’s that.”

“Yeah,” James agreed. “I’m not gonna sell Neville out in exchange for Harry. They’re children.”

“So we kill him,” Regulus said simply. “We kill him before he can mark anyone as an equal.”

“We ought to tell Frank and Alice, though.” Sirius added, in an undertone: “We’re not Dumbledore.”

“Do you think they’d join the horcrux hunt?” Remus asked. He turned to Regulus. “Is that okay?”

This entire conversation was the extent of Regulus’ knowledge about Frank and Alice. But he’d grown to trust Sirius, Remus, and James. And if they trusted Frank and Alice, Regulus supposed he did too.

“Sure. If they're willing, that is.”

James paused to think. “I don’t think it would hurt as far as the prophecy is concerned. I’m pretty sure those two are three for three already.”

Suddenly, a silver doe galloped into the room, and in Lily’s blatantly joyful voice announced: “It’s a girl!”

Then the room descended into chaotic cheers and the pure joy that comes on such occasions.

Chapter Text

February 15, 1981
The Potter’s House
6:58 PM

James Potter cleared the dishes from the table, and walked into the kitchen. Placing them in the sink, he took a deep breath. He knew this was going to be a challenging conversation.

The kitchen door swung open. “Oh, hey Frank. You don’t have to do that,” he added, seeing the stack of plates in his hands.

Frank shrugged. “I don’t mind. Thanks for having us. Alice and I didn’t really get to do Valentine’s day. She just had a long mission for work, so we tried for a romantic night in…”

“A night in?” James asked, skeptical. “While Nev is teething?”

Frank chuckled. “Yeah, you can imagine how it went.”

“Yikes, sorry mate. Glad we could have you over.”

The kitchen door swung open again, and Lily and Alice came through. “Do you know the middle name?” Alice was asking.

“It’s Stella. Luna Stella.”

Alice seemed to turn it over in her head. “I like that. It’s very...them.”

“Frank, Alice, can I get you both something to drink?” James offered.

“Oh, anything’s fine for me.”

“I’ll have what you’re having, mate.”

James nodded, and surveyed the drinks. He considered pouring everyone a glass of wine, but ultimately decided on firewhiskey.

“Alice, have I told you I love your hair?” Lily asked.

Alice laughed and ran a hand through her newly-short hair. “Thank you. It was starting to get in my face when I was dueling, and Mad-Eye said:” Alice scrunched up her face , and deepened her voice into a rough, yet hysterical impersonation of Moody. “‘You can either get it under control, or you can chop it all off, Longbottom!’” Alice shrugged at their laughter. “So I said ‘Sir, yes Sir,” and cast a severing charm right in his office.”

They all laughed as James poured the drinks. Lily nodded towards the living room, and they all headed that way.

“Firewhiskey, huh?” Frank asked.

“Trust me,” James said, “This is a firewhiskey conversation.”

“There’s a conversation to be had?” Alice asked, sitting down on the couch.

James and Lily exchanged a look. “Yeah,” James began. “Yeah, there is. You’ve heard about the prophecy?” Frank and Alice looked at him, unsure if it was rhetorical. Slowly, they both nodded. “Well, we happen to know the exact words, and it’s not exclusively about Harry.” Lily began pulling a paper from her dress pocket.

“Wait, back up.” Lily’s hand froze at Frank’s words. “How do you know what the Prophecy says?”

“We know someone who was able to find out for us,” James said, being as vague as possible. “What we need you two to know is that-”

“You ‘know someone’?” Alice asked. “That’s all we get?”

“We can give you more information, but we’d have to swear you to secrecy,” Lily explained. “We can worry about that later, though. We think that Neville-”

“Swear us to secrecy?” Frank asked. “Lily, did you do something illegal? Did you guys break into the Department of Mysteries?”

Lily and James exchanged a look. “No,” James answered. “Everything we did was legal.” Technically.

Frank narrowed his eyes. “Why do I feel like that’s a technicality?” Either Frank was a legilimens, or he had a very good memory of James from school

“Wait, you said something about Neville?” Alice asked. Lily nodded, and handed over their annotated copy of the prophecy. “Frank, honey, look at this.”

Frank grabbed the notes. James studied his face as he read, watching it go from confusion, to denial, to concern. “Are you absolutely sure?”

James just shook his head, and Lily interjected. “We think that at some point it will just be Harry. I think Voldemort thinks it’s Harry. So he’ll be the one marked as an equal, but until then…”

“It could be both,” Alice finished. Lily and James both nodded.

“Well, now what?” Frank asked. “Do we confront Dumbledore? I mean...he should have told us about this, right?”

“Well, at the moment we have another project going,” Lily told them. “To take down Voldemort.”

Alice frowned. “Other than the Order?”

“Yes,” James began. “It’s not illegal-”

“I don’t like that you felt the need to open with that,” Frank interrupted.

“It’s not,” James continued. “But there would be some things that need to be kept secret, for people’s protection.”

Alice and Frank exchanged a look.

“Is that really all you can tell us?” Alice asked.

Lily sighed. “It is at the moment. We just...need to keep this quiet, or people could be in danger.”

James bit his lip and nodded. He didn’t want to think of what the Black’s would do to Sirius just to get to Regulus, let alone to learn all the information Sirius had. Not to mention the actual Death Eaters, and Voldemort himself.

Frank shook his head. “Ally, I don’t trust this. What do you want to do?”

“No, I agree.” Alice stood up, Frank following her. “This- I don’t trust this. I’m sorry Lily, James.”

“Frank, Alice, wait!” Lily pleaded, as she and James stood up. “This is important!”

“Bye James, bye Lily,” Frank said, as they headed down the hallway to the front door.

James looked at Lily. “What should we…” They heard the front door open and shut, and sat back down on the couch dejected. “Crap.”

“Yeah.”

Chapter Text

February 16, 1981
Hogwarts Castle
2:16 PM

Kreacher walked the halls of Hogwarts with a goal in mind. He’d heard the other elves talk about the elusive Come-and-Go room, where they’d found all sorts of things in the past.

Well, mostly cleaning supplies, actually. That was all the elves here seemed to care about. Cooking and cleaning.

Kreacher wasn’t opposed to that. He enjoyed both of those things, making it all the more easier to blend in. But the other elves didn’t seem to understand that there were bigger things.

Kreacher had been entrusted with a very important task from Master Regulus, and he had made no progress in the past two weeks, apart from keeping an ear to the ground for news about the headmaster. Even that he couldn't do all the time. Kreacher had to be returning home to attend to his mistress.

But the blood traitor headmaster was only half the battle. What his Master really needed was more information about the artefacts the founders left. And the horcruxes.

The horcruxes were important. Kreacher knew that better than anyone.

All the same, there was something to be said for the days when Kreacher could take care of Master Regulus. Elves aren’t supposed to have a favorite member of the family they serve, strictly speaking, and normally Kreacher was the perfect elf, down to the details.

Master Regulus, however...was different. Master Regulus had needed him. While many purebloods would likely starve without their house-elves, this was an entirely different sort of need.

When his brother left for school, Master Regulus was alone. So, he turned to Kreacher.

Master Regulus needed someone to take care of him when Mistress Walburga wouldn’t. Someone to make sure he got enough sleep, and remembered to eat three meals a day.

Of course, Master Regulus didn’t need any of that anymore. Meaning once the horcruxes were found, he wouldn’t need Kreacher anymore.

“Kreacher mustn’t think that,” he muttered to himself. “Kreacher must be focusing.”

He walked down the seventh floor corridor until he came across an empty wall that definitely seemed as if it should have a door.

He paced in front of it like the other elves had instructed me, focusing on the fact that he needed to help Master Regulus.

A door appeared and Kreacher opened it to find…

The largest, most insane hodgepodge of items he’d ever seen, and the disturbingly familiar sense of dark magic. With another second to take it in, he realized it was in fact the Dark Lord’s magic.

What is Kreacher to do? Should Kreacher search? No, no. Kreacher should be alerting Master Regulus.

The elf disapparated with a crack, and the Come and Go room must have noticed, because it simply...faded.

Chapter Text

February 16, 1981
The Potter’s House
2:24 PM

Sirius Black gave a dramatic sigh. “I cannot believe this.” They’d been up far later than was advisable, and wound up coming back to the same arguments. “So not only are Frank and Alice not going to join us, but they think we’re up to something illegal. For context, Reg, they’re both aurors. That’s how screwed we are.”

Regulus didn’t say anything, and when Sirius turned, expecting to see the usual look of annoyance, he was met with nothing.

“Where’s Reg?” he asked.

“Oh,” Lily answered. “While you were berating James and I, Kreacher showed up. They’re talking in the living room.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think you realize just how bad-”

“They realize, okay Sirius?” Remus snapped. “It’s possible it was just a lost cause to begin with.”

“It’s not a lost cause!” James insisted. “Frank and Alice are too practical to make blind accusations . They’ll either ignore it, or they’ll try to get more information. Which gives us plenty of opportunities.”

“And what then?” Sirius challenged. “It’s not as if there’s anything to tell them! You demonstrated that quite well.”

“Well, he has a point, Sirius,” Remus offered. “It wouldn’t be fair to Pandora, we promised no one would find out about that. She could lose her job. Do you know what a big deal that is to her?”

“Remus, this is a big deal,” James interrupted, with more condescension than was really warranted. “The whole war is at stake!”

Remus sighed. “I know that. But we aren’t getting anywhere with this, are we? We’re just sitting here fighting! We haven’t made any progress.”

Regulus Black exchanged a look with Kreacher the instant they heard Sirius raise his voice. It was the sort of thing they were familiar with.

The really odd part was: it had never occurred to Regulus that might wind up in one of these screaming matches with his mates. With Mother, naturally. And he had certainly tried with Father, but Orion Black was one for the silent treatment. Regulus had been like that for years, or tried to be, but he was still his mother’s son, and it definitely came out from time to time.

But Sirius’ shouting was reserved for the Blacks. Never for the oh-so-infallible Gryffindors.

Regulus gave Kreacher a half-hearted smile. It was good news, after all. “I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to come and look with us.” Kreacher gave a skeptical frown, not picking up on the sarcasm.

Regulus sighed, thinking of what awaited him in the other room. He pleaded with whatever governed the universe that it would go well, and floated back into the kitchen. “Um, hi.”

Sirius turned around. He was clearly upset, but Regulus would rank it below a fight with Mother. Granted, things were quite different now. “Hey, Reg.”

“Hi, um…Kreacher found something. Kreacher?”

Kreacher looked around, and began. “Kreacher is finding something. Kreacher is at Hogwarts, and in a hidden room is a...a feeling. And Kreacher is thinking it is a horcrux.”

“A feeling?” Remus repeated, clearly skeptical.

“House-elves are magic sensitive,” Regulus explained. “Not only can they sense the type of magic, but they can distinguish the caster, if they’ve experienced other magic from that person.”

Lily frowned in thought. “And wizards know this...and they still decided that the best use of this ability...is as a glorified slave?”

Regulus nodded emphatically.

“Please, Lily, for the love of Godric,” Sirius interjected. “Do not get him started.”

Regulus glared at his brother, who, naturally, reciprocated via obnoxious smirk. “More importantly,” Regulus bypassed. “There’s another horcrux. At Hogwarts. We have to go retrieve it.”

“Right now?” James asked. “Can we do that? Just walk in at half past two am.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Kreacher will apparate us.”

“But-” Lily began.

“House-elves can apparate within Hogwarts. Most places overlook elf apparition, although I suppose Hogwarts might have been intentional about allowing it. I’ll have to look that up. When did they start employing elves? Well not employing, I suppose, but you know what I-”

“Regulus,” Lily interrupted. “That sounds like a great plan, but that’s not what I was asking.”

Regulus blushed. “Right. Of course. Carry on.”

“I was just going to say, someone needs to stay with Harry. Perhaps we divide and conquer?”

Remus cleared his throat. “Also, If I may butt in...the elves have been there since Helga Hufflepuff brought them shortly after the school’s founding.”

“Oh. Thank you,” Regulus nodded at Remus, and the man smiled. “Yes, um, I suppose I could go on my own, I just thought perhaps…I just figured I would ask.”

“I’ll come with you,” Sirius volunteered.

Regulus noticed a short, hushed exchange between the Potters before James sighed. “I’ll come with.”

“Right. Brilliant. Kreacher, would you please take us? To the room you told me about?”

Kreacher nodded, and grasped Regulus’ hand. Sirius reluctantly accepted the elf’s other hand, and extended on to James.

James Potter gasped, looking around the strange room they were in. “Wow,” he muttered to himself. It was filled to the brim with absolute...clutter. He couldn’t tell where some piles stopped and others began.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed next to him. “Wow.” James tried to exchange a look, but Sirius wasn’t paying him any mind.

“Go with them,” Lily had said. “I hate seeing you two fight.”

James hated it too.

The four of them walked (and whatever it is that Regulus does) through the maze of rubbish, randomly stopping or turning whenever Kreacher did. This led to James bumping into Sirius a lot. Or Sirius walking head first into Regulus, which James knew from attending Hogwarts, was not a pleasant experience.

“Look, Sirius,” he offered a few minutes into their walk. “I’m sorry. We really tried our best, and we’re not gonna give up.”

“I’m not mad at you, James. I’m just mad. In general. I wish you could’ve told them more.”

“Me too, but you know what’s at stake. If anyone finds out, we’ll all be in danger, you most of all.”

Sirius stopped, and turned to face James--who, thankfully, stopped without running into his friend. “Me most of all?”

Does he not know? “Yes. I mean, they can’t do anything to Regulus-” Regulus turned around at his name, realizing they’d stopped. “But you..they’ll use you to get to him, I’d expect.”

“Oh.” Sirius seemed to freeze for just a second as it sunk in, and then continued. “But still...if it’s to take Voldemort down…”

“No,” Regulus snappeed. Sirius turned to look at his little brother. “You promised you wouldn’t die on me!”

James was suddenly incredibly aware that he was intruding on something very personal for these two.

“Regs-”

“I know,” Regulus interrupted. “I know that it’s not like that, I know you’ll die. Everyone dies. I know.” Regulus seemed to be collecting his thoughts for a second. He messed with one of his sleeves while his face shifted between different emotions. “But you can’t just...throw caution to the wind like that. You have to try and keep living, you promised! I-” Regulus collected himself again. “James is right, they’ll use you to get to me, so just...be careful, okay Sirius? So, if James says you’re in danger, just listen to him, okay?”

Sirius stared at him, clearly deep in thought about some aspect of whatever was being discussed. James understood that feeling. He, for one, had not been prepared for any of that.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah.” The two of them exchanged a look that probably meant far more to them both than any words. Then, Regulus turned back around, and Kreacher followed suit.

They walked the rest of the way in silence.

James observed everything around him, as well as the loud silence between his companions. It randomly occurred to him that Regulus had, in fact, called him “James.”

Kreacher turned them into a dead end, and stopped. “It is around here…” The elf cast a wary glance at the stacks surrounding them. “But Kreacher does not know where…”

“It’s okay, Kreacher,” Regulus cut in gently. “You’ve done amazing. More than that.” The elf beamed.

James examined the piles of items. “Reckon we could summon it?”

Sirius frowned and shook his head. “Doubt it. He probably protects them against summoning. Right, Reg?”

Regulus looked to be steeling himself for a challenging conversation. “I wouldn’t know. I didn’t try it.”

Sirius’ face fell. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” The silence grew, and then popped like an over-inflated balloon. “But I second what you said. He wouldn’t make it so easy.”

“Right,” James agreed. “So what are we looking for?”

Regulus winced. “Well, it could be the diadem of Ravenclaw. Or it could be...almost anything else, I suppose. Narcissa said he gave Lucius a book. I don’t see the connection there, and I don’t know how many he made. I feel like maybe he’d hide a founder artifact in the school? It makes sense. But of course, it could make too much sense. He wouldn’t want anyone to be able to figure it out…”

Regulus continued in this vein, and James got the feeling he was mostly talking to himself. He tuned the kid out, and kept examining the loads of junk they were standing in.

And it was then that James saw it.

It was a silver tiara with a large sapphire in it. It was sparkling, but in entirely the wrong way. It ought to have dulled by now, but every now and then the light would catch it in a way that seemed...malicious.

A malicious tiara. James decided he had now seen everything.

He reached out for it, and then second guessed the impulse. “Is it this?” he asked instead.

Regulus looked at it. “Sweet Salazar, you found it. You actually found it!” he cheered, laughing randomly from pure...adrenaline, maybe? James had no idea. He was a little surprised at the genuine smile, to be honest. “The diadem of Ravenclaw. It was right here for years. We found another horcrux!”

Sirius laughed. “Good to see you excited about something.”

Regulus blushed. “Well, it’s a lot of progress. I was worried that-”

“It’s not a criticism, Regs.”

“Can I...touch it?” James asked.

Regulus smirked. “Yes, you can touch it.” He rolled his eyes. “Light families. What kind of a question-”

“Play nice, Reggie,” Sirius interjected.

James picked up the diadem and stared at it, only half listening to the argument behind him.

Something about whether or not “Reggie” was an acceptable nickname for a grown man. Followed by another debate about whether or not Regulus counted as a grown man.

It was an odd feeling, holding the horcrux. James didn’t enjoy it in the slightest, but he was glad they’d found it all the same. And fine, maybe he was a little proud of himself for being the one to do it.

But mostly he thought Regulus was right. They were making a lot of progress.

Chapter Text

February 17, 1981
The Longbottom House
8:45 PM

Frank Longbottom stepped into the nursery, to find his wife walking back and forth burping Neville.

“You’re pacing, Ally.” Frank reached to take Neville from her. The boy leaned against Frank’s chest, and his eyes fluttered. “What’s on your mind, hun?”

Alice sighed. “The other night. I trust James and Lily with...just about anything, really.”

“Me too,” Frank admitted with a shrug. “Or I did. I don’t know.”

“You don’t think it’s worth hearing them out?” Alice asked. “I mean...they might have a reason for keeping it a secret.”

“Like what?”

“Frank,” Alice began. “You can’t honestly believe James and Lily are working against the Order. Can you?”

“No, I...No. But it’s not as simple as all that. I just think they’ve gotten themselves into something over their heads.” Frank shrugged. “It could be too risky to get involved.”

“Yes, but what if that’s why they need us? Because they’re in over their heads. I don’t know, Frank, I need to think. Talk through it with me?” Frank nodded, standing at attention. “What do you think of that prophecy?”

“They could’ve made it up.”

“Obviously,” Alice agreed. “But why? What would they have to gain from doing that?”

“If it were real, Dumbledore would’ve said something. Right?”

“I’d think so, yes. Unless he didn’t know it was about Neville, but…hmm.” Alice frowned.

“What?”

“Well, prophecies can be like, up to interpretation, y’know?” Frank nodded. Alice had been the one who stuck with divination, but he knew a bit. “So he’d really only have one interpretation. Which seems a little…”

“Irresponsible?” Frank suggested.

“I hate to say it, but yeah. To not have multiple people look at it would be kind of limiting. Possibly even dangerous.”

“So...do we confront him?” Frank asked. “I don’t know, Ally. It makes me think we should at least get the whole story on James and Lily first.”

Alice considered it. “Alright, yeah. We figure out what’s up with them. The first thing to rule out is imperius, polyjuice, glamours. All that.”

“Right. And then we can-”

The phone rang.

Alice went to answer it, leaving Frank in the nursery with their son, now stirring from the sleep he’d fallen into. He looked at Frank as if he were deciding whether or not he should cry.

Frank smiled at him, and forced his voice to come out bright. “Hello, Neville. You’re alright.”

Neville kept staring.

“It’s okay, bud. Did you have a good nap?”

Neville slowly smiled.

“Yeah?” Frank asked, vaguely aware of how his voice got higher. “There’s that smile.”

Neville giggled.

“Yeah!” Frank agreed, bouncing him slightly. “See? Just the phone, nothing to cry about, Nev.”

“Frank honey, it’s for you,” Alice said from the doorway.

“Alright. Let’s go to Mummy, bud,” he added to Neville, passing the boy off to his wife. “Who is it?”

“Moody.”

Frank made an ‘ick’ face at his wife. “Not like I just got off the clock or anything.” Alice gave a sympathetic laugh.

He stepped into the kitchen to pick up the phone. “It’s Frank.”

Moody was not one for formalities, and he got right to it: “Longbottom, I have a new assignment for you.”

“This couldn’t wait until Monday morning? I’m off work this weekend.”

“Work, yes. But this isn’t through the auror office.”

Frank sighed. “Should’ve known. Dumbledore?” Moody gave a grunt that Frank decided to interpret as affirmatory. “Give me the what-when-where of it.”

“Dark artefact inspection in an abandoned house, tomorrow at seven,”

“Seven in the morning?”

Alice Longbottom laughed as she saw Frank pull away from the phone, and grimace at Moody’s volume.

Neville laughed along with her, not that he understood what his daddy was being shouted at for.

“It was just a question, sir,” Frank muttered. “Where is this place? … Got it. Alright see you Monday, sir.” Frank pulled away from the phone again. “Right, tomorrow. Sorry.”

He hung up, and let out a breath.

“Yikes,” Alice said, trying not to smile.

Frank rolled his eyes. “He never said he’d be there tomorrow.”

“He’s been a bit...tightly wound, lately,” Alice observed.

“That’s putting it nicely.”

“I reckon he’s stressed about Peter. He’s got to find him, make sure the Order’s safe, not to mention his supposed mates.”

Frank sighed as they crossed the hall back to the nursery. “Yeah. I still can’t believe he pulled that. I mean...I wouldn’t have guessed it was any of those four, but...well, I hate to sound rude, but if I had, I’d have thought James or Sirius. Probably Black.”

Alice nodded. “I feel bad for Sirius, but I think a lot of the Order felt that way. Poor kid.” She laid Neville in the cot. “We should get to bed if you need to leave at seven. What’s the mission?”

“Less of a mission,” Frank said with a shrug. “More of an inspection. I’m looking for dark artefacts at this old house.”

Alice pursed her lips, curious. “Ooh, whereabouts?”

“Nowhere I’m familiar with. It’s a muggle village, actually. Some place called Little Hangleton.”

Chapter Text

February 17, 1981
Black Manor
10:45 PM

Remus Lupin had never thought to try using dark magic. He never had a reason, and even if he did, it seemed too dangerous and unethical.

Now, however, Remus was struck with the realization that he was kind of awesome at it.

He wasn’t above average, but he was able to pick it up with only a bit more effort than any light spell. It was easier than a patronus, if he was honest, but of course he was a bit older now. And...some days happiness didn’t come as easily as the desire to set things ablaze.

“Very impressive,” Regulus commented as Remus put out the flames coming forth from his wand. Regulus’ eyes crinkled and he bit his lip, but one second later the look was gone, and his superior tone was back, as he added: “And thank you for not destroying any of my family’s property.”

James gasped, affronted. “Okay, that was weeks ago, and it was a very small bush. Sirius, back me up!”

Sirius shrugged as he casually fiddled with his wand. “It was at least a medium bush, mate.”

Remus laughed: loud, and only partially at the joke. He was high as a kite on adrenaline after performing the spell, and it was a glorious type of confidence. He beamed up at the waxing moon, like it was an opponent he’d finally won against. Because it was tomorrow. And all Remus could feel was the warmth in his veins.

“Things seem to be going according to plan,” Regulus said. “I’d rather we didn’t make too much of a move. There’s a chance he’ll feel some sort of...detachment when they’re destroyed.”

“I have nothing against caution,” Lily started. “But would he have any idea it was us?”

Regulus sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck. “Well, um…”

“He’d know it was a Black, if he knew the cup was destroyed,” Sirius pointed out.

Regulus nodded quickly. “Yes, that is very possible. That’s...how he could figure it out.”

Sirius frowned. “Reg?”

“Yes?”

“What was that about?”

“Sirius, you’re going to have to be more specific.”

James looked between them. “Do you know something we don’t?” he asked Regulus.

“Yes,” Regulus answered. “Several things in fact.” Remus snorted, and did an all around poor job of concealing it.

“Regulus,” Sirius chastised.

Regulus sighed. “There’s a chance that...if the Dark Lord went to the cave, he might find...certain evidence of my own...attempt at retrieving his horcrux.”

Sirius crossed his arms, and leveled Regulus with what Remus could only describe as A Look. “Meaning?” Sirius challenged.

Regulus clenched and unclenched his hands over and over. “I’m sorry. I- I had no idea...how many, I just- Well, I thought it was my last...my only, um, and I was thinking I should- And I know it was...stupid, but-”

“Regs,” Sirius interrupted. “Take it easy. We just want to know, nobodies gonna get mad. Okay?” Regulus nodded. “Take a breath.”

Regulus took several shallow breaths before they became deeper. He loosened his grasp on his own arms, and instead fingered with a sleeve.

“You alright?” Regulus nodded. “What were you trying to say?”

Regulus took another breath. “He might be able to figure out who stole the locket. Because I left a note.” Sirius’ eyes widened slightly, but Remus could tell he was trying to keep his face still. Regulus frantically tugged at his sleeve, and looked around at all of them. “I’m really sorry. I would never have done this if I’d known that you all would be involved. At the time I wasn’t really planning on...mmm,” Regulus cut himself off with a vague mumble-like noise. He bit his lip, and looked up at Sirius. “I’m really sorry.”

There were flashes of emotions across Sirius’ face, but none of them seemed hostile. If they were, it wasn’t directed at Regulus. “Regs, you don’t need to apologize. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

Regulus frowned looking at the ground. “I didn’t want to make you any more angry at me.”

“Any more?” Sirius asked. Regulus nodded at the ground.

Sirius Black felt a pang of guilt deep in the pit of his stomach. Regs had been scared of making him mad.

All sorts of awful thoughts rushed around his brain: He was a failure. He was like his parents. He was...pretty sure he was gonna be sick.

James cleared his throat. “What was the note about?”

Regulus shrugged. “It was...stupid, really.” Regulus looked around at them, sheepish. “I just thought I’d...I don’t know. I had this idea that it would be my way to-” Sirius honestly thought Regulus would say whatever was on his mind. Of course, that turned out to be wrong. Regulus looked around at them all, and the mask went back up. “I don’t know, like I said it was stupid.”

Lily smiled. “I doubt that. But I’m sure it’s personal. You don’t have to say anything.” Then, returning to her upbeat tone: “Well, I suppose we ought to go. Mrs. Figg will be expecting us back soon. We’ll see you lot tomorrow.”

Remus agreed he’d walk with them to the apparition point, and they all said their goodbyes.

Sirius pulled Lily in for a tight hug, lingering after both of his mates had begun the walk.

“Thank you,” he whispered into her ear.

She just gave him a squeeze, and responded: “Talk to him.” Sirius took a dramatically deep breath as she pulled away. “Oh, hush. You’ve done fine so far.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “If you say so.”

“I do.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “See ya, Evans.”

“See ya, Black!”

When everyone was gone he turned to look at Regulus.

Regulus sighed. “You want to talk about this, don’t you?”

“Can we?”

“We probably should.”

“D’you wanna…?” Sirius nodded vaguely in the direction they’d walked last time.

“I suppose,” Regulus answered with a shrug. They walked in silence a bit, Sirius being unsure what to ask about. He didn’t know what might make his brother clam up. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Regulus apologized. “It was such a...big thing, in my head. And I knew if I’d told you, you would probably ask a lot of questions, and you’d...hate my answers, probably.”

Sirius frowned. “I’m sorry. I probably would have.”

“You’d have been right to, maybe. It would’ve been a suicide note, if I hadn’t been deluding myself. I wanted to be remembered, I guess. And I wanted to stick it to the Dark Lord,” Regulus added, with a humorless laugh. “And looking back, it’s so…stupid. Because...why him, y’know? They would’ve been my last words, and I would’ve given them to him.”

Sirius had been keeping quiet, processing. He couldn’t figure out what to say, and by the time he even came close, Regulus had continued in a slightly different vein. “I get that, though,” he heard himself say. “Wanting to be remembered. Wanting to leave your mark somewhere.”

“You’ve felt that too?” Regulus asked.

“Regulus, please. You’ve seen my bedroom.”

The corners of Regulus’ mouth turned up slightly and he nodded. “That’s what that was about, huh?”

“I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time. But yeah, I think so.”

They kept going in silence for a while. They were coming over one of the hills, nearing where Sirius had parked his bike.

After walking for several more yards, Sirius gathered the courage to ask what he was thinking. “What did it say?”

“Nothing of any consequence.”

Sirius frowned, but didn’t press it. “If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Alright then.”

Chapter Text

February 18, 1981
Little Hangleton
7:00 AM

Frank Longbottom stared at the rundown shack in front of him. If ever there was an image to disprove the rich pureblood stereotype, here it was. The Gaunts had been quite famous centuries ago, but were now extinct.

All Frank knew of them was that they were descendants of Slytherin, and more incestuous than the Blacks. No offense to Sirius, Frank thought, as if the boy were here with him, and privy to his thoughts.

“Longbottom!” Frank turned to see Mad-Eye approaching.

“Good morning, sir,” he offered, with a false brightness in his voice.

“Morning. Merlin and Morgana, you look bloody tired. You sleep at all with that kid o’ yours?”

Frank gave a weak laugh. “Alice did her best to let me sleep, but Neville can be quite loud when he wants to be.”

Mad-Eye gave what might have been a nod, and looked at the shack. “Here’s the deal: we go in, have a look around, cast some diagnostic type spells. The usual. If you find anything, let me know, and I’ll take it to Dumbledore. Don’t touch anything--anything, Longbottom--without dragonhide gloves. These ones have additional charms on them, to protect against most curses and compulsion charms.” Frank gave a dutiful nod and accepted the gloves he was handed.

He took in the house, and with a sigh he approached it.

He and Mad-Eye spent a good time looking around the house with no success. There were signs of dark magic, but nothing they could find.

“It could be residue,” Frank offered, lacking conviction.

Mad-Eye gave a scoff. “More likely it’s underground. People could be buried with heirlooms. Or it could be the house. Some of the nastier muggle repelling charms. Nothing we can do anything about, anyways. Reckon I oughta fill Dumbledore in.” With that, Mad-Eye left Frank alone in the shack.

Frank took one last look around, and turned on his heel, nearly coming crashing to the ground. Odd. Frank could be clumsy from time to time, sure. And he almost brushed it off, when he saw the edge of a loose floorboard. He lifted it up to find a plain wooden box. He shook it simply on impulse, and found it had something rattling about inside.

A ring. A plain gold band with a black gemstone, and some distantly familiar marks. There was an urge to put it on, but Frank didn’t make a habit of doing anything that a ring requested of him, unless you count making an eternal bond to Alice.

Frank knew he ought to tell Mad-Eye, but that would mean telling Dumbledore, and in a slightly out of character moment of pettiness, Frank pocketed the ring. Dumbledore wasn’t the only one who could keep secrets, and Frank reasoned that he would do well to have a bargaining chip.

Chapter Text

February 18, 1981
Black Manor
7:02 AM

James Potter woke up to a brightness on the other side of his eyelids. Half awake, he fumbled about for his glasses, to find he’d fallen asleep with them on. He took in where he was...a forest. Right, last night was the full moon. That’s why he was so exhausted.

James let out a yawn as he sat up, and arched his back into a comfortably tight stretch.

“Morning,” Sirius mumbled from where he was sitting a few feet away.

“Morning.” James looked around the clearing in the trees, and saw Remus, curled up and asleep. “Any injuries?”

“Nothing urgent enough to wake him. Probably the usual scrapes and bruises, but...I reckon he ought to sleep a while longer.”

James nodded, and stood up, walking over to Sirius and sitting down. Sirius was shredding grass in his hands as he stared out at his family property, which they’d begun using for full moons since discovering it was vacant.

“And how are you doing?” James asked.

Sirius shrugged. “Fine, I guess? Why?”

“Cause you’re my mate,” James said simply. “And we haven’t really talked in forever, it seems. Are you alright?”

Sirius nodded slowly. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Padfoot, mate, I-” James hesitated, but decided to say it outright. “I’m not buying that.” Sirius opened his mouth to speak, and furrowed his brow in thought. “I know that family stuff has always been complicated for you. And you’ve been trying to be there for Regulus, and take care of him. And I think that’s great.”

“But?” Sirius asked.

James sucked in a breath. “But you’re allowed to have feelings about this too. And I don’t know what you two talk about, but nine years of friendship tells me you aren’t talking to anyone about those feelings.”

Sirius sighed. “I guess. I don’t know. I’m doing pretty well? I worry about Reg a lot. Upsetting him. Losing him. I’ll catch myself worrying that he’s not sleeping or eating enough, and then...well, that’s never a fun rabbit hole to go down.” James nodded. “It’s weird. I always thought we butted heads over beliefs, but even now that we’re on the same side we still fight all the time. We’re just too different.”

At that James shook his head. “Too similar.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “You can’t be serious?” James waggled his eyebrows at that, and Sirius shoved him, laughing. “Shut up, that joke isn't even funny.”

James landed on his back, and Sirius laid down next to him. “You really think we’re similar? Reg and I?”

James nodded. “That’s why you fight so much, because you’re both stubborn prats. Except don’t tell Regulus I called him a prat, because he’s meaner than you. He all but refuses to talk about his feelings,” James added, with a pointed look at Sirius. “You both have to have the last word on everything, because again: stubborn prats.” James dodged a smack. “Oh, and when he demonstrated the fiendfyre motion, he did that same ballerina dueling stance-”

“Okay,” Sirius interrupted. “So first of all it’s danseur, because it’s French, and masculine, and you’re an idiot. Second of all, it’s a perfectly functional dueling stance, and I’ve used it to wipe the floor with you.”

James would admit, that was true. “Fine. Oh my Merlin, the other thing?” James shook with quiet laughter as he thought about it. “The way he talks? Mate, you totally talked like that up until like, third year.”

Sirius visibly cringed. “No, Prongs, please don’t bring that up.” He covered his face with his hands.

“Don’t bring what up?” came Remus’ groggy voice.

James practically cackled, and gave Sirius a mischievous grin. “Moony, you remember Sirius in first year, right?”

Remus laughed, crawling over and wrapping the blanket Sirius must have draped over him tighter. “Oh my goodness, you were a posh little git!”

Sirius groaned. “That was just all I’d been taught, okay?”

James smirked. “Did you or did you not introduce yourself to me as Sirius Orion Black the third, heir to the Noble and Most-”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

“Remember when I said bloody, and you nearly had a heart attack?” Remus asked.

Sirius gave another groan into his hands, and James and Remus laughed. “Merlin, that first day,” Sirius muttered, sitting up. “I still feel awful about what I said to Lily.”

“What?” James asked. Then it came back to him. “Oh, that. Mate, I’m pretty sure she’s forgiven you.”

Remus frowned. “Wait, what did you say to her?”

“You were there,” Sirius said.

“I just woke up from a full moon,” Remus deadpanned. “You’re gonna have to refresh my memory.”

“Right,” Sirius began with a nod. “Well, I didn’t mean anything by it, honestly. But I didn’t know the proper word for it, so I called her a...y’know.”

Remus looked between Sirius and James blankly. “A ginger?” James positively lost it, then, and his side began to hurt from laughing, while Sirius just looked at Remus in shock.

“No. I- No. I heard her say her parents were muggles, and I asked if she knew how cars worked, because she was a...muggleborn. Except I didn’t say muggleborn.”

Remus’ eyes widened in recognition, and he nodded. “Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, mate, I’m pretty sure she’s over it by now.”

Sirius sighed. “I know, it’s just a crap way to find out blood supremacy is a thing. That’s not something you forget.”

“It is if you’re Remus,” James teased. “A ginger?” he mimicked.

Remus groaned. “Don’t make fun of me, that’s werewolf discrimination.”

James put his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. Let’s get home and get some caffeine in your system, Moony.”

“Yes, please. Where are my clothes? And my wand?” Remus asked.

“I transfigured them into a rock,” James explained. “The one with an X on it, by that tree. You’ll be needing this,” James added, offering his own wand. Remus accepted it with a nod, and headed towards it, stumbling a bit. Sirius tried to stand up and help him, but James put a hand on his arm, asking him to stay. Sirius raised an eyebrow, and with one last glance at Remus, James looked Sirius in the eyes. “You can talk to me. Any of us. Don’t bottle it up, okay? It’s not good for you.”

Sirius sighed. “Thanks, James. I can handle this, though, I’m...I’m an adult.”

James frowned. “It has nothing to do with being an adult. Everyone needs to talk about this stuff. Keeping it in isn’t healthy.” Sirius sighed, and James sensed another excuse coming. “If you won’t do it for yourself, then...do it for Regulus.” Sirius froze, mouth open. “You can ask him to talk to you all you like, and he may be of age, but...he’s still a teenager, and he’s probably still insecure, and thinks there’s something wrong with him.” Sirius nodded absentmindedly. “So I just think that if he sees that you have your own mental health to take care of, then it’s a more normal thing, y’know?”

Sirius nodded, slowly, and then emphatically. “Yeah...yeah, that actually makes sense. When did you get so smart?”

James gave a heavy sigh. “Dude, I’ve read so many parenting books this year.”

That was true, but James was by no means applying it to Regulus. No, if he was parenting anyone, it was his own best mate. Because according to some book or another, older siblings were more likely to behave themselves when they were given an authoritative position as a role model. Who knew?

James stood up, and brushed off his clothes before extending a hand to Sirius. He pulled his best mate off the ground, and into a fierce hug.

“Thanks, mate,” Sirius muttered in his ear.

“Of course.”

Chapter Text

February 19, 1981
The Mckinnon Residence
8:15 PM

Remus Lupin felt all the eyes in the room turn to him. He took a deep breath, and continued looking at Dumbledore, waiting for the man to finish.

“-which is why I think we should take it upon ourselves to encourage cooperation between us and the werewolves. After all, what we are fighting for is unity between all magical folk…”

Remus sighed, and didn’t bother hiding his eye roll. He wished they could just get on with this. He knew what he was going to be asked to do--everyone knew--and to be honest, he didn’t see any point in saying yes. Sure, the war might go on a bit after Voldemort was taken out of it, but the Death Eater movement was so centralized on him.

Regulus didn’t talk much about being a death eater, unless it came down to strategy. He’d explained that they were all dependent on Voldemort, strategies and attack plans were on a need-to-know basis, so no one would know what to do. There also was no second in command, so with Voldemort out of the way, his followers were likely to take themselves out in a pureblood power struggle.

“Naturally, given the way they’ve been treated in the past the werewolves are in no hurry to trust wizards…”

James put a hand on Remus’ knee, a protective look on his face. “You alright?” Sirius whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Fine,” Remus muttered from the corner of his mouth. He looked around the room, surveying the Order. They were all trying not to stare at him, with varying degrees of success.

“Remus?” Dumbledore addressed him finally.

“Yes?” Remus tried not to look like he cared much.

“I hate to ask this of you-”

“Then don’t.” Remus didn’t know why he’d said it, as it really only made the whole situation worse. The anticipation in the room turned to shock, which did nothing to stop the staring. Say something, say something, say something. “I...don’t think that it would help us, in the long run.”

Dumbledore looked at him curiously. “I’ve yet to explain to you what my plan was.”

“I’m a good guesser,” Remus said, casually, although it was anything but. Sirius’ eyes were wide, and he was biting his lip, as if he’d burst out laughing, which was very possible. Sirius sometimes laughed at...inopportune moments. “My point is that I believe it’s best to focus our energy on Voldemort. With the sword of Gryffindor, for example, or something similar.”

Dumbledore gave a nod. “Very well, then. I beg you to reconsider, alas, I suppose that concludes our business for this meeting. Have a delightful evening, all.”

“Merlin,” James said, patting Remus on the back. “You did brilliant, mate.”

“I can’t believe I just did that,” Remus muttered.

“It was quite impressive, I think,” Sirius put in. “I gotta step outside, Frank said he wanted to talk to me about something.”

“Really, Remus, I think you were well within your rights to decline,” Lily assured.

Remus shrugged. “I mean, I just figured since there didn’t seem to be much point to it.”

James nodded. “Besides, it’s more complicated than just any mission. I know you’re beating yourself up, but really, he had no right to ask in front of everybody.”

“James, I think someone’s getting fussy,” Lily interjected, bouncing Harry in her arms, clearly trying to calm him as he began to cry.

James pulled him into a hug. “Bye Moony, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye,” Remus answered, as Lily reached out to give his hand a squeeze before walking off.

Remus scanned the room, looking at all his peers with uncertainty. He wasn’t entirely sure what they thought of him, or who would be safe to talk to.

Sirius Black shivered in the cold February night. “What do you two need, anyways?” he asked.

Frank and Alice exchanged a look. Frank then looked Sirius directly in the eyes, and said the last thing he expected. “You claim that you know about the dark arts?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow in shock, then tried to shift his face into one of intrigue rather than confusion. “I know some things, certainly. If nothing else, I have access to a rather extensive library on the topic.” Merlin alive, I sound like Regulus, he thought. Although, to be fair, imitating Regulus tended to work in these instances.

Alice nodded, satisfied. “Frank came across something on an assignment the other day. We wondered if you might be able to identify it. It definitely seems dangerous, but…” she trailed off and shrugged, unsure.

Sirius nodded. “Certainly. Do you have it on you?”

Frank produced a small velvet bag from his pocket, embroidered with gold thread, and put it in Sirius’ hand. “It’s a ring. I warded the bag, just in case.” Upon closer examination, Sirius realized the embroidery formed several protection and concealment runes. “Don’t put it on, though I’m sure you know that. I think it has a compulsion.”

Sirius nodded, and opened the bag to examine the ring. There definitely was an urge to put it on, but nothing years of experience growing up in Twelve Grimmauld couldn’t discourage. And the dark magic radiating off of it was intense to say the least. “And where did you say you found it?”

“An auror assignment. Some rundown house that apparently used to belong to the Gaunt family.”

Sirius’ ears perked up at that. “The Gaunts?” Both Longbottoms nodded. “Interesting. That could certainly be some very dark stuff. May I take it with me to examine?”

“Of course,” Alice replied.

“Well, thank you. I’ll keep you both informed,” Sirius finished with a polite nod as he made his way back into the Mckinnon house.

He tried to keep up a cool exterior, but when he was inside and away from the couple, he beamed and gave a fist pump. He had no proof it was a horcrux, really, but he certainly had a sound start.

He took a deep breath, and regained his casual demeanor. He re-entered the living room, searching for his mates. He had to get back and tell Reg about this.

Then he saw something that made his smile falter. Remus, clearly stuck in an uncomfortable conversation with Edgar bloody Bones.

He sauntered over, ready to break up the conversation, and put an end to Bones’ rubbish.

And what rubbish it was.

“-because we’ve all come to accept your, um, condition, and I think that seeing as there’s an actual advantage to it, for once-”

Sirius caught Remus’ eyes, and his mate gave him a pleading look. “What are you on about, Bones?” Sirius asked, in a tone that you could pretend was casual if you tried hard enough. “Demonstrating your ignorance on lycanthropy?” Remus gave Sirius a sort of warning look.

"All I was saying, is that given the situation-"

"Given the situation, I think you should shut up, actually," Sirius said. Remus was making that face now. His can-my-mates-just-be-non-confrontational-for-two-seconds face.

"I can't decide what your game is, Black," Bones mused. Sirius didn’t wait for an elaboration.

"Not all of us are playing games, Bones."

A scoff. "Right. A Black without an agenda. And a werewolf without a thirst for blood. What a pair, really."

Perhaps he had something else to say, or perhaps he didn't. It was of little consequence, in Sirius' eyes, because he'd said enough already.

As Sirius cocked his fist back, he had a strange thought of "finally" and realized he'd actually been wanting to do this for quite some time.

He swung.

Impact.

Recoil.

Edgar held a hand up to his face, still registering.

Sirius was high on pure adrenaline, his heart was beating in his eardrums, and he couldn't hear anything around him for a good second or so.

He tuned back in, just in time to hear:

"-hell is your problem, Black?!" from an incredulous Bones. Sirius noticed the tiny stream of blood trickling down from his nose, and reveled in it far more than he ought to, from a moral standpoint.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Take a wild bloody guess."

"Sirius, I think we should leave," Remus whispered in his ear.

"I suppose, but I'm not gonna run away if Bones is looking for a real fight." And maybe, to be honest, Sirius was looking for a fight.

"Sirius!"

"What? Hitting and ditching isn't all that fair. If he wants to swing back, I say let him swing back." Bones looked confused. "Scared?" Sirius taunted.

"I- Get out of my face, Black!"

Sirius sighed, and he knew Remus noticed. He braced himself for a lecture. He gave Bones a nod, in some mockery of a bow. "With pleasure." He turned to Remus. "Shall we?"

They made their way to the McKinnon's fireplace, and once out of earshot of Bones, Sirius knew he was in for it. "You can't just do things like that," Remus hissed.

"Can and did."

"You don't have to fight my battles for me, I can handle myself just fine."

"Then why don't you?" Sirius asked. "Why don't you ever tell him to shut his mouth about things he doesn't understand? If you can fight your own battles, Remus, for Merlin's sake, do it!"

"There's more than one way to fight," Remus muttered. "I prefer to be less confrontational."

"Yes, everyone loves a good non-confrontational fight." Remus was about to defend himself, when Sirius continued. "Let's get out of here. We can continue discussing your pacifist regime at my flat."

Remus sighed. "Sure." Sirius grabbed some floo powder, and stepped into the fire.

It spat him out in his flat. “Good evening, Regulus!” he called. “I have quite a bit of news for you, my darling brother.”

Regulus came through a wall, rolling his eyes. “Pray tell, brother mine, whatever is the news.”

Remus, who had just come through the floo, scoffed and muttered something about “pretentious purebloods.”

“Would you like the good news, or the great news first?” Sirius asked.

Regulus sighed. His introvert-dealing-with-extroverts sigh, one which had actually been on the upswing in usage these days. “I don’t care. The great news, I guess?”

“I punched Edgar Bones in the nose!” Sirius announced, proudly.

“That's great news?” Remus asked.

“Yes,” Sirius insisted. “He deserved it.”

“Is this the same guy who was giving you crap about the whole werewolf thing?” Regulus asked Remus. Remus nodded. “Oh, he definitely deserved it.”

“You’ve never even met him!” Remus said, incredulous.

Regulus looked at him. “And…?”

Remus sighed. “You’re both lunatics. Sirius, you said there’s more news?”

“Yes!” Sirius grinned, pulling the velvet bag from his pocket, and tossing it softly to Regulus. Regulus raised an eyebrow as it went through his chest. “Sorry. My bad, I- Sorry. Anyways, I think I got another horcrux-”

“You threw a horcrux at me?” Regulus asked.

At the same time, Remus asked: “And punching Edgar was the great news?”

“Yeah, yeah, criticize later. Anyways, Frank Longbottom found it on an auror mission. He gave it to me to investigate the dark magic, or whatever. But he said he found it at a house that belonged to the Gaunts.”

Regulus’ eyes widened, and the slightest smile tugged at his lips. “The Gaunts?”

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. “The Gaunts. So I told him I’d take it home and investigate or whatever. It definitely has that...dark feel to it. And there’s a compulsion to put it on, so I’m guessing it’s cursed-”

“As a protection, of course!” Regulus finished excitedly. “I was wondering when you said...I mean, to have the locket so…guarded, and then to leave this lying about in an old house. Of course! You’re brilliant, Sirius!”

Sirius beamed at that. “You’re not too bad yourself, Regs.”

Chapter Text

February 20, 1981
Sirius Black’s Flat
5:37 PM

Regulus Black bit his lip in concentration, staring at the ring on the kitchen table, as if that would somehow do anything to confirm his suspicions. All signs pointed to yet another horcrux, but...there was more.

And if it was what he suspected, well, he couldn’t very well just throw it into the fiendfyre and see what happened. He only wanted to destroy it if it was absolutely necessary.

Sirius said…something just then which didn’t quite register, and Regulus looked across the table to where Sirius was making an attempt at cooking dinner.

“What did you say?” Regulus asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I was just wondering if anybody’s home in there,” he gestured at Regulus’ head, probably teasing.

Regulus sighed. “Is anyone home up there?” he said back. “Your sauce is gonna boil over.” Sirius swore loudly as he slammed a lid on the sauce, and then turned down the heat. “Are you gonna season that at all?” Regulus asked.

“Yeah, it has salt and pepper.”

Regulus gave him a judgemental look. “Ever heard of herbs? Basil would go nice in that tomato sauce.”

Sirius shrugged, and opened a cabinet, rummaging around a bunch of little spice bottles, muttering to himself.

Regulus turned his attention back to the ring. Specifically the symbol on it. He absentmindedly traced the shape with his finger on Sirius’ table, mulling over what it could mean.

It could simply belong to the family. Or the stone set into the gold band could very well be the stone.

“Sirius, do you know what we’re dealing with here?”

“Pasta?” Sirius asked, head still in the cabinet.

Regulus huffed. “No, Sirius, the ring.”

“Oh. I didn’t catch the subject change, sorry I’m not a mind reader.” That was...harsher than usual, it seemed.

“Okay,” Regulus said slowly. “I’m sorry. Anyways, do you know what this ring is?”

Sirius sighed, turning back to the cupboard. “A horcrux?”

“Yes, but also, I think it could be- Well, it’s just a legend, but you’ve heard of the Peverell family, yes?”

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe? I didn’t pay attention to any of that pureblood bull, you know that.”

“Right, well. They’re the family that the story of the Three Brothers was based on. And there are legends that the gifts from death are things they created themselves. This ring has their coat of arms on it.”

“And?” Sirius demanded. Regulus was slightly taken aback. He hadn’t treated him like this much lately. “Regulus, I don’t have time for the ambiguous act right now, just say what you’re trying to say.”

Regulus stared at his brother a second before continuing. He’d honestly thought things were getting better between them. “I- Okay. Yeah, so basically, there’s a chance that, if the legend’s true, this could be the resurrection stone.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “It’s just a legend.”

“Well, yes. But there is quite a bit of backing to it. If you look at the coat of arms, some people have actually speculated that it represents the three hallows. If you come see here-”

“I can’t, I’m looking for your bloody basil!”

“I- Sorry? Is something the matter, Sirius?” Regulus asked. He was trying his best to keep his cool, although he couldn’t help but feel that something had gone wrong in recent months to bring things to this point. That he’d messed up somewhere along the way.

“I just think you’re wasting our time with pointless things, when we have clear goals. First it’s the basil, and now it’s your dumb theory that this is the resurection stone!”

Why there were tears in his eyes, Regulus didn’t know. It wasn’t anything worth crying for, really. It was just that even through all the fighting, Sirius had always believed him, and considered his opinions and theories. He stared at the table, biting his lip, hoping he wouldn’t actually cry.

Just as he looked up, something went flying through his face. Regulus blinked at the odd visual whiplash it gave him. He turned to see a spice container full of leaves on the floor behind him.

“There’s your sodding basil, you git!” Regulus turned back to Sirius, who looked to be steaming with rage. “Resurrection stone,” he muttered to himself, in the petty way one does when they’re trying to make a point. “As if I don’t have enough dead people bothering me already.”

Regulus gaped at him, too frozen in shock to think about hiding the tears running down his face.

Sirius looked at him, and the look on his face, and seemed to snap out of whatever had had a hold on him. Several emotions flickered across his face, but he simply turned off the stove, and left with a murmured “excuse me” to his room.

Sirius Black was paralyzed by guilt as he looked into his younger brother’s face. He hadn’t meant to say that. He didn’t really think that, did he?

He had all these awful thoughts in his head that he could’ve sworn weren’t there before. Where they’d come from, he had no idea. Regulus was crying, and all Sirius knew was that anything he said would make it worse. He needed to leave him alone.

Sirius turned off the stove, and excused himself to his room, where he flopped down on his bed face-down, and tried to turn his brain off for an instant.

His thoughts were becoming clearer, as if the black cloud around his brian was slowly dissipating. Where had that come from? What was bothering him so much? Reg hadn’t done anything wrong, he was just being Reg.

Sirius rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He knew Reg was probably just as confused. If he stilled his own movement and really listened, he could hear Regulus crying in the other room.

Sirius desperately wanted to go and comfort him, but was worried he’d screw it all up again. He knew he would, in fact. Sirius couldn’t put his finger on why, but he didn’t want to return to the kitchen. There was something inexplicably hostile about the kitchen.

It was then that it caught Sirius’ eye. The small pouch Frank had given him the ring in. Sirius grabbed it on a whim, and began inspecting the embroidered runes.

They were designed to contain dark magic, but a literal translation illuminated several of the common properties of dark artefacts. Nothing Sirius hadn’t learned a dozen times over, but the reminder of it struck something.

He debated it for all of a second before standing up and making his way to the kitchen to test the hypothesis.

Regulus turned at the sound of his footsteps, his face anxious. And yeah, that hurt a little, to be on the other end of that scared expression.

Sirius swallowed the hurt, pushed down the painful thoughts of “just like her, just like her,” and entered the kitchen. He stepped around Regulus, shivering, and unsure if it was from his brother, or the dark magic filling the room. He reached out for the ring, and with a sense of finality dropped it into the bag, and cinched it shut.

The relief wasn’t instant, until it was. The prickling goosebumps left him, and his mind suddenly felt clear. His own thoughts were no longer weighed down by their own twisted counterparts.

“Reg, can we talk?” Sirius asked, feeling oddly like he had no right to ask. Regulus looked up at him, and gave a nervous nod. Sirius sat down across from him at the table. “Okay, first of all, take a deep breath.” Regulus complied, and even if he didn’t need it, it certainly seemed to have some small effect. “I’m not mad at you,” Sirius began. “About anything. I...I messed up, and I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you.”

Regulus nodded. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Regulus gave a small shrug. “No, Regs, it’s not.”

“It was the ring, wasn’t it?” Regulus asked. “The dark magic in it?”

“Yeah,” Sirius sighed. “Yeah, I think so. But that’s not an excuse, that doesn’t mean I can just say those kinds of things to you. I-” Sirius ran a hand through his hair gathering his thoughts. “I don’t think that, you know.”

Silence.

“Regulus?”

“Hm?” he asked, looking back up, like he’d just emerged from another voyage deep into his own mind.

“You know I don’t really think that, right?” Sirius repeated.

Regulus’ mouth moved without sound, forming the beginning of an agreement...but he hesitated. He hesitated. Regulus lowered his head for an instant, and when he met Sirius’ eye again, he was hiding behind the fringe of his hair as he was wont to do. “Honestly?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

“Yes, of course,” Sirius said. Honestly? he heard again in his head.

He braced himself, and barely gathered his thoughts before saying, “I- To be honest, there was...a thought? But not that!” he added hastily as Regulus’ expression fell. “It was like...all my thoughts were twisted, right? I was thinking that like...I already have you, why would we need the resurrection stone? And I just...it was just this stray thought. And then…” Sirius shrugged, and ran an anxious hand through his hair. “Godric, it felt like there was this...darkness around my thoughts, and they kept getting...twisted? And then we kept arguing, and...I don’t know, that came out instead.”

Regulus studied him, and seemed to be waiting to see if Sirius was finished. “Oh,” he said simply.

Sirius nodded. “I’m so sorry.”

Regulus shrugged. “You didn’t mean it.”

“But I should have recognized what was happening. I know how dark magic works, I never should have let it get to that point.”

“It’s fine, Sirius.”

Sirius would rather be forgiven than have excuses made for him, to be honest. But Regulus would be Regulus he supposed. Even when he wasn’t confident, he kept the stubbornness, it seemed.

There was a knock at the door, and Sirius started a bit, before remembering his plans for tonight.

“We’ll talk later, okay Regs?” he offered. Well, offer was the wrong word. He wasn’t exactly planning to let Regulus decline.

Regulus sighed, but nodded, and left the room.

Sirius went to answer the door.

Here goes nothing.

Chapter Text

February 20, 1981
Sirius Black’s Flat
6:15 PM

Alice Longbottom leaned into Frank’s side. They lingered in a moment of dead silence after he’d knocked.

The door swung open, and there was Sirius Black, a broad grin on his face to the point that it seemed to be...put on. “Hey, guys! Come on in!”

They entered a sort of foyer combined with a living room, and exchanged pleasantries as they continued to a small kitchen that seemed as if it had been used for the first time today. Which as Alice thought about it, she realized was quite likely.

They sat in silence as he set down plates of spaghetti in front of them.

Sirius seemed a bit...distracted. He didn’t say anything until Frank said: “This is really good, Sirius. What did you put in here?”

“Hm? Oh, thanks. Um...I used basil.” He spun his fork over and over, twirling and untwirling the noodles in silence. Then his head snapped up. “So. The ring.”

Frank and Alice exchanged a look. “Yes,” Alice said, giving him a reassuring sort of smile. She hoped it came across like that, at least. “The ring. What did you learn?”

“Okay, um, so the Gaunts are an old pureblood family. And the long and the short of it is that their last daughter is, uh, Voldemort’s mum.”

Alice felt strange upon hearing that. It was illogical of her, but she’d never considered Voldemort might have a mum. If anyone had asked her, she might have even guessed he was made in a potions lab. No offense to potions labs, or anything.

Frank seemed as shell-shocked as she was. “So, the ring…?”

“Was his,” Sirius confirmed. “Or, he got his hands on it somehow. But it has the Peverell family crest, and the Gaunts are descended from them. The dark magic in it is…” he sighed heavily. “A bit more complicated.”

They waited for him to continue, but he seemed to be thinking. He fiddled with his fork a bit, but didn’t eat anything.

“Have you ever heard of a horcrux?” Sirius asked at length. Frank and Alice both shook their heads. “Okay, so it’s basically...um, you can put your soul into an object. Part of it. And it, um, keeps you immortal. It’s like an anchor to the land of the living.”

Frank went completely still, only his face shifting into one of horror. “That ring has...half of Voldemort’s soul in it?”

Sirius gave a sardonic laugh. “Well, not half exactly. I wish it were that simple. Don’t worry, we can destroy it.”

“How?” Alice asked.

“Fiendfyre.”

“That’s very dark,” Frank said skeptically.

“Darker than letting Voldemort remain immortal?” Sirius challenged. Frank shook his head, and shrunk back the slightest bit.

“When did you learn fiendfyre?” Alice asked. “Did you know he had a...a horcrux?”

Sirius nodded with a sigh. “Yes. This is where it gets complicated. He has more than one. We don’t know how many. But we’ve been working on it.”

“We?” Alice heard herself ask.

“Remus, James, Lily, myself, Pandora Lovegood, and...well, we can come back to that. We’ve been working on this since December, and we’re close to mastering fiendfyre. We’ve got…” he paused to think, “four horcruxes, now. We know where a fifth is.”

“He’s splitting his soul into six pieces?” Frank asked.

“Seven. The sword that he’s looking for? We think it’ll be the sixth. And who knows if there are any others.”

“It’s a very old magic, right?” Alice asked.

“Very. There aren’t many written records, and we don’t know if they’re lost to time, or if so few people have even attempted it.”

Alice thought about it. “Well, a lot of old magic works better with powerful numbers, right? So like, threes, or sevens.” Sirius nodded, and Alice thought she heard a gasp, but his lips remained pursed in thought. He turned to look at the wall behind him, and then focused back on the conversation.

“Brilliant. We’ll look into it, that’s...brilliant.”

“How did you find all this out?” Frank asked.

Sirius sucked in a breath. “We um, have a reliable source. But we need you to keep this entire project under wraps. We’re less certain of who to trust now, but James and Lily figured that, because of the prophecy, you two ought to be informed.” They nodded. Alice felt a little guilty now, about everything with James and Lily. Hopefully they’d understand. The war was like that: everyone was just trying to be cautious.

“We promise,” Frank answered, solemn, and firm.

“Brilliant. I’ll need to um, check with our source. And make sure they’re alright with their...identity being disclosed, but maybe at some point-”

“It’s fine, Sirius.” Alice nearly had a heart attack as a familiar looking boy floated through Sirius’ wall. “I heard everything.”

Sirius looked between the boy--a ghost--and Frank and Alice. “Right. Good. Um, Frank, Alice, this is my brother. Regulus.”

Alice was suddenly hit with realization. Sirius’ brother...the Death Eater. The one who’d died a year ago.

There was a look exchanged between the boys, one that Alice couldn’t identify. But Sirius’ face wasn’t as empty as it was a year ago, when he’d heard the news at an Order meeting. So Alice reasoned that that, at least, was something.

“Are you going to tell them about the Peverells?” Regulus asked.

Sirius sighed. “Reg, we don’t know for sure if it’s-”

“We know very little for sure right now,” Regulus interrupted. “Just about everything is guess work.”

“I know, Reg, but-”

“You don’t believe me,” Regulus said plainly.

It wasn’t a question, but Sirius seemed unsure how to answer. “It’s a children’s story,” was all he said.

Alice was completely lost, and Frank seemed to be, too. “Where have I heard of the Peverells before?” he wondered aloud.

That was all it took to get Regulus to launch into an explanation. “They’re famous wizards from the thirteenth century. Three brothers, like in the story. You’re both familiar?” Frank and Alice nodded. She’d heard it growing up, but how it all fit together, she couldn’t quite say. “Right, well. According to legend-”

“Exactly, Reg. It’s just a legend,” Sirius commented, earning a scowl in response.

“According to legend, Beedle based the story off of the brothers, and the three gifts from Death are real.”

“Like, as in Death actually gave them to the Peverell’s?” Frank asked skeptically. “Like, Death? As in the grim reaper, and the abstract concept of mortality?”

“Well, most people believe they created the hallows themselves. But, I suppose…” he paused, biting his lip and thinking. “Yeah, Death might’ve.” Alice exchanged a wide-eyed look with her husband. “Either way, there’s a chance this ring is the resurrection stone. It has the Peverell coat of arms, and the Gaunts are descended from them.”

“And what do we do?” Alice asked. “If it is the resurrection stone?”

Regulus sighed, and gave a hopeless sort of shrug. “I don’t know yet, to be honest. We might have to destroy it anyways, but...it would be rather unfortunate.” He cleared his throat. “Just, a piece of wizarding history, destroyed. I mean, I suppose it already is destroyed, it’s been…tainted by his soul, but…” The boy trailed off, his face moving through expressions as if he were still talking, now just to himself in his mind.

Alice’s first impression of Regulus was an interesting one. She decided he seemed…odd.

Chapter Text

February 21, 1980
The Potter’s House
12:07 PM

Lily Potter did not engage in breaking and entering with any sort of regularity. Or at all, really. That was, it seemed, about to change.

Because right before her eyes, in her very own kitchen, there was a plan being formed to get their hands on the fifth--and, dare they hope, final--horcrux.

“So the question is,” James began, looking at the vague sketch Sirius had made of what he and Regulus knew of the floorplan. “Who’s going in?”

Sirius gave a ‘tsk’ and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, me, obviously.”

Lily nodded. “Obviously,” she mimicked. Regulus gave a somewhat out-of-character snort, and Sirius made a face back, which Lily ignored. “And James and I should stay with Harry. So that just leaves Remus, I suppose.”

“I think we should have three people,” Remus interjected. “After all, they’re going to be out of the house, yes?” This was true. Kreacher had apparently put the idea in Mrs. Black’s mind to invite the couple over for tea. “So more people won't exactly gonna get us in trouble, but it covers us if they come back early.”

James nodded. “Would you like to go, love, or shall I?”

Lily looked at him. “Would I like to? As in, would I enjoy spending an afternoon breaking into Malfoy Manor?”

James shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. I just wondered if you had a preference.”

Lily laughed at that. It was, in an odd way, rather sweet of James. Actually, come to think of it… “Is it weird if I want to break into the manor?”

Sirius pumped his fist. “Yes! Come over to the dark side, Lily!”

And despite it not being quite that funny, they all descended into light laughter, until they were interrupted by the sound of Harry crying.

Lily made her way upstairs to check on him. He’d been fed and burped recently, but as it turned out his diaper was still dry. Perhaps it was just the teeth coming in, then. Or simply him being a seven-month-old.

She lifted him out of the cot, and held him upright against her chest. She bounced him the slightest bit as she paced the nursery, humming a lullaby. Harry leaned into her a bit more, and began to relax.

Lily let her mind wander, and her eyes fell upon the vase in the windowsill. It wasn’t a hideous vase, by any means. Quite the opposite. But the prim perfections of it made something reckless in Lily itch the slightest bit.

She categorically refused to throw it out, though. It had been a gift from Petunia, which explained the elegant shape of it. She’d probably have to move it out of here once Harry began walking around more.

She had sent Petunia a Christmas card and some Honeydukes chocolate. Nothing inherently magical, as she wasn’t willing to risk the relationship to prove her point. She’d have gotten something a bit nicer if she knew Petunia was sending the vase, but she wasn’t really expecting anything at all. Lily tried not to think about it, but she was sure that the whole gift exchange just contributed to the Dursleys’ theory that James was an unemployed bum.

“You seem angry,” a voice from the doorway asked. “Is this a bad time?” she looked up to see Remus.

Lily shook her head. “No. Not at all.” She tried to calm down. James had told her over and over he didn’t care what the Dursleys thought of him. So really, there was no reason for it to get under Lily’s skin.

It was the fact that Petunia thought she was winning. With her perfect life in the suburbs, and forgoing her mathematics degree in favor of keeping house. It wasn’t so much that Lily wanted to be better than her sister. It was that if she could beat her at her own game, maybe Petunia would eventually give it up, and be her old self again.

“Are you sure? If something’s bothering you-”

“Don’t worry about it, Remus.” She laid Harry back down in his crib. Searching for a change of subject before he pointed out that she hadn’t actually said no, she turned the tables. “Marlene said the meeting got quite interesting after we left.”

Remus gave her a sheepish look. “I mean, Sirius...is a bit of a loose cannon, sometimes. Most times.”

“What, you weren’t pleased with his handiwork?” Lily asked, smiling slightly.

“I- Handiwork? Lily, Edgar got punched.” The shocked look on his face was quite comical. “Don’t tell me you think it’s funny.” Lily laughed a little, more at how much it frustrated Remus than at Edgar. But of course, Remus didn’t know that. “If you say he deserved it, I…” Remus trailed off, giving an irritated huff.

“‘Deserved’ is a blurred line. Very few people deserve a fist to the face,” she mused, before breaking into a grin, “but there are some for whom it does a bit of good.”

She noted with pride that Remus was deliberately trying to turn a corner of his mouth downward. “That’s...a terrible thing to say.” Lily raised an eyebrow. “It is!” Remus insisted.

“I bet Edgar’s gonna leave you alone, though.”

“That doesn’t mean that Sirius can just punch whomever he pleases!” Remus complained.

“Right, well. Good luck explaining that to Sirius,” Lily joked.

Remus gave a heavy sigh, and rolled his eyes. “I don’t suppose you’re entirely wrong.”

Regulus Black was, for lack of a word that encompassed the complexities, nervous. The plans for the break-in weren’t bad, by any means. And they had time to go over it. They could pick it apart, and find the holes. They wouldn’t send Sirius, Remus, and Lily into this blind. There really wasn’t any cause for concern, rationally speaking.

Or so Regulus told himself.

It wasn’t anything particular that worried him. It was more that he…well, to be honest, utterly loathed that he couldn’t go as well. He didn’t like the uncertainty that came with waiting on other people.

“You’re fidgeting,” Sirius muttered.

Sit still, Regulus Arcturus, scolded a voice in his head. Regulus let go of the robe sleeve he was running between his fingers.

“Everything okay?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” Regulus lied. Well, it wasn’t lying exactly. It’s not like anything bothering him was that big of a deal. Everything was okay.

“Everything’s gonna go fine, Reg. We’ll be in and out of there, nothing for you to worry about.”

Regulus debated denying the presumption that he was worried. But Sirius wouldn’t be so keen to believe it, he figured. He settled for a quiet, “Okay.”

“We’ll do just fine. Once I get it from his study, I’ll get right back to the floo, I promise.”

Regulus nodded.

“Goodness,” James put in, handing Sirius a mug of tea. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you didn’t want to hang out with me, Regulus.” He was clearly joking, but what he said was sinking in.

It was then that Regulus realized who he’d be waiting with. He gave a groan that was more exaggerated than it would have been a few months ago, and dropped his head to the table, careful not to let it go all the way through.

Chapter Text

February 22, 1981
4:00 PM
The Potter’s House

James Potter stirred his tea with the slightest bit of uncertainty. Ha. Uncertain-tea.

Regulus was at the kitchen table, giving him indecipherable looks now and then. James was beginning to wonder if drinking tea in front of him would be considered rude, or if the looks had little to do with the tea at all.

He felt that with his lack of experience, a breach of ghost-etiquette ought to be forgivable. It wouldn’t even be worth dwelling on, if it weren’t a lovely distraction from where his wife was right now, and what she was doing.

It’s not that he doesn’t find Lily capable, because he does. It’s not that he doesn’t trust her, or that he thinks something will go wrong.

It’s just pure, unfiltered worry without a purpose. Which sucks, to be quite honest.

“Can you stop that?” Regulus snapped.

James furrowed his brow. “Stop what?”

Regulus threw his hands up, exasperated. “That infernal clinking. Are you incapable of stirring your tea without making an unnecessary racket?”

James’ hand froze, and he looked down in front of him. “Oh. I don’t really think about it much.” Regulus and rolled his eyes. “I guess it’s louder when everything’s silent.”

“I guess,” Regulus muttered.

James looked him over, considering the situation. Perhaps the silence was irking him. It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable of silences. And while Regulus was quiet, he seemed to be oddly on edge. He was clutching his arms to his chest, and running his cloak sleeves through two fingers. His eyes were flitting from the floor, to the clock, to the kitchen door, to the floor again, and then to James. Crap.

“What are you looking at?”

“Um,”

“Don’t you have some thoroughly stirred tea to attend to?”

James let out a soft laugh, but also picked up his mug and took a sip of his tea, because he could never quite get a good read on Regulus’ tone. After the smallest moment of quiet, James attempted conversation.

“Sirius mentioned you were drafted for quidditch right out of school,” he said. Regulus nodded. “That’s so cool. You were always quite good, I remember when- What?”

Regulus was looking at him oddly. “How are you calm right now? Aren’t you worried at all?”

James frowned. “No, of course I am. Obviously, I mean…it’s nerve wracking, no matter how good they are, how many times they’ve done this kinda thing.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. I didn’t think-” Regulus’ face shifted in indecision, until he finally said. “You really don’t…seem worried.”

James laughed awkwardly. “I wish. The silence was eating me alive if we’re being honest here.”

This was interesting. Sitting in the kitchen, talking to Regulus Black about what-have-you. Conversation wasn’t really something James and Regulus did. Not ever, really, let alone in the past three months.

“Yeah,” Regulus agreed. His voice was distant, as if he was simply speaking on autopilot. “The house was always silent, growing up. Well, not always, I mean. But y’know, before and after…everything.” James didn’t actually know what that meant, but couldn’t find a comfortable way to press the matter. Regulus looked up at James, suddenly. “Sorry, you were saying something about quidditch?”

James hadn’t fully processed the conversation he’d just taken part in, but could tell whatever it was, the moment had passed.

“I was just saying, you were really good in school. Do you still follow it?”

Regulus shook his head. “I wish. I’ve been out of the loop since seventy-nine.”

James winced, embarrassed. “Right. Well, there’s a match on the wireless today, if you want to listen. Puddlemere versus Kenmare.”

Regulus grinned. “Absolutely. Go Kestrels.”

James scowled. “Get out of my house,” he deadpanned.

“I- Beg pardon?” Regulus asked. His voice shook a bit.

Crap, now you’ve really done it, Potter.

“I’m just messing with you, mate. I support Puddlemere.”

“Oh.” Then, after a beat: “Of course you support Puddlemere.”

James laughed. “I nearly played for them, but…the war.”

Regulus nodded solemnly.

In an attempt to skip past that awkward moment, James stood up to go turn on the radio. “Of course, the real war heros are the men playing quidditch for our entertainment and distraction in these trying times.”

Regulus smiled a bit. “And women,” he added. “Is Emma Vanity still on the Harpies?”

“Yes. She’s had a good season, too.” James fiddled some more with the dials and finally found the station.

“--Jefferson scores! Ten points to Puddlemere!”

James cheered.

“That’s right, Lou, and that brings them to twenty points, putting them a total of thirty points behind Kenmare.”

Regulus smirked, and stuck his tongue out at James.

Chapter Text

February 22, 1981
4:05 PM
Malfoy Manor

Lily Evans marvelled at the ornate spiral staircase and dressed up hallways of the manor. It was quite lovely, in a performative sort of way.

“The master bedroom is…” Sirius paused to think. “To the left, I think.” He rushed around the left corner.

Lily followed him through the turn. “Regulus said guests aren’t allowed up here.”

Sirius laughed. “Of course he’d say that. Strictly speaking, they’re not.”

Lily smirked. “But?”

“He and I snuck up at a party once. Back in the good old days.” Sirius pulled open a door, leading into a large bedroom, with a king size canopy bed and several portraits on the walls.

“It astounds me that people live like this,” she muttered, following Sirius through a door off to the right side of the room.

“Tell me about it.”

“You’re one to talk. Hurry up, we shouldn’t leave Remus waiting. What if something happens?”

Sirius sighed. “If something happens, he’ll go right back through the floo to alert James and Reg.” Lily nodded, but didn’t say anything, as she began frantically searching the study. “Relax. All Lucius knows is that someone entered the private floo.”

Lily pulled desk drawers open rapidly, her nerves growing the more she thought about all the things that could go wrong.

The closer they got to finding it, the more the tension grew.

“You don’t think he’ll be suspicious?” Lily asked.

Sirius shrugged, and turned back to the bookshelf he was combing through. “Maybe. But this is probably the last thing he’d suspect. He’d just think it was some Death Eater mate of his. Stopping by without the courtesy to send an owl ahead of time.”

“What if they do stop by?” Lily asked.

“I suppose they could, at any moment. They’re not all known for courtesy.”

The drawer Lily was opening came all the way out as she yanked it with frantic force. “What?”

“Relax. The wards would ring, and we’d hear them.”

“No,” Lily muttered softly, “Not that.” She inspected the drawer. It was far too shallow to reach the back of the desk.

Sirius hadn’t heard her, but he continued. “And if someone does come and we can’t get to the floo, we just, um…we can break the window, jump out, cast a cushioning charm, and run to the edge of the wards. Then we apparate home, maybe a few added stops so we can’t be traced…”

Lily tuned out his unnecessary planning. Regulus had told Sirius to call Kreacher to apparate them, and either Sirius had forgotten, or was being stubborn.

She pulled out the adjoining drawer, and saw it was also too shallow. There was nothing behind them, though, her hand could easily reach the back.

“...so it’d really only be a problem if someone was already in the house. Lily?” Sirius asked, walking over to her. “Did you find something?”

On an impulse, Lily pulled on the divider between them. It came loose, and as she pulled it further, it was heavier than the thin strip of wood out to be.

Attached to the end of it was a third drawer, usually tucked snugly behind the other two, but now removed from it’s safe hiding spot.

And in it, was a small, black leather book. Lily reached for it tentatively, and gingerly pulled it from the drawer. On the back was a name. “T. M. Riddle,” Lily read aloud.

“Oh yeah,” Sirius muttered. “That’s definitely it. Let’s get going, then.”

Lily nodded, and handing over the diary, began returning the drawers to their positions in the desk, before hastily following Sirius back to the third floor.

Remus Lupin was getting restless, in this strange house. Even if he wasn’t concerned about leaving a trace behind, there was that feeling that always hung over pristine rooms…as if touching anything and everything was positively forbidden.

He could imagine it driving Sirius up the wall. Regulus, he’d have guessed, would fit in quite well here, although now he was less sure the younger Black would truthfully enjoy it.

Then, Remus heard something.

Not Sirius and Lily. Not even any kind of distress or emergency. Just footsteps, though slightly familiar ones.

They were approaching…and it sounded like one pair…and it was coming from the opposite direction his mates had left in.

Remus tightened his hold on his wand, and crept closer to the door of the strange guest bedroom.

Despite his best efforts, he had failed to conceal himself fully.

Because all of a sudden, there he was, face-to-face with an old friend.

“Remus,” Peter whispered, the words all but a breath.

Remus shook off the shock and gathered his wits. “Peter,” he said. In the sheer absence of context, it would be misconstrued as cordial.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” Peter was slowly–perhaps meant to be subtly–drawing his wand. Remus’ was immediately trained on Peter.

Remus opted for ignoring the question. Stalling. “The Malfoys have taken you in, I see? I mean, if the art is any indication, they clearly collect rubbish, but…still.” Remus actually knew very little about art, but that was neither here nor there. It was more about putting up a sort of front.

“Yes, you’re still clever as always,” Peter drawled. “But more to my point,” he took a step closer, wand trained on Remus’ chest. “What exactly are you doing here?”

“Private business?” Remus offered, wishing he’d left the uncertainty from his voice.

Peter scoffed. “Really, Remus? You expect me to believe that?”

Remus shrugged. It was a rather ridiculous lie, after all. “Worth a try.” He took a step forward, his wand aimed at Peter’s chest. “Last chance, Peter. Anything to say for yourself?”

He wondered if Peter could see his wand hand shaking the slightest bit, or hear the pounding of his heart.

Peter smirked at him, a twisted fragment of his old, kindly smile. And then… “Expelliarmus!” Remus’ wand flew from his hand.

Peter stepped closer and closer, until his wand was pressed directly into Remus’ chest.

Remus’ mind was a hurricane of panic, he felt as though his heart was about to leap from his chest, or simply stop working altogether.

Remus heard, suddenly, more footsteps behind him. This time, it was Sirius and Lily. He heard Lily’s soft gasp, and could practically see the expression on Sirius’ face shifting into a glare.

“You,” he heard Sirius mutter. There was a small scuffle, but neither of them came any closer. Lily must have stopped Sirius–temporarily–from doing something stupid.

“I’ve got this under control, Sirius,” Remus placated. “Fighting my own battles, yeah?” he added, not quite sure what Sirius would think that meant.

“What are you three doing here?” Peter demanded. “Explain.” His wand pressed deeper into Remus’ chest. “Now!”

“I think we’re rather done with entrusting information to you,” Remus bit out.

Peter scoffed. “You don’t have much of a choice. Things could get quite…difficult if you don’t surrender the details willingly.” Remus gave a faux chuckle, and an eye-roll, playing at confidence he didn’t really have. “Don’t get cocky, Lupin.” Peter spat out his surname as if it was something contagious. “I’m armed, and you’re not. You’re completely at my mercy.”

It was then that Remus swung.

His fist met Peter’s nose, knocking him slightly off kilter. As he attempted to catch his balance, Remus made a dash to where his wand had fallen, all but sliding on his knees in his haste.

Sirius shot a stunner at Peter just over Remus’ head, and without so much as ensuring it connected, pulled Lily by the hand to the guest room. Remus ran after them to find Lily had already gone through the floo.

Sirius had, in all of three seconds, established a casual stance leaning against the mantle. He nodded at the fireplace, urging Remus to go ahead of him.

Just as Remus approached it, Sirius stopped him with a barely-there touch to his shoulder. “Hey,”

“Yeah?”

“Nice shot, Moons.”

Remus grinned back, and ducked into the floo, only to come out in the sheer chaos Lily’s half-finished story was causing.

Chapter Text

February 22, 1981
The Potter’s House
6:51 PM

Sirius Black was on the verge of a headache, and the never ending debate about today wasn’t helping. With the euphoria of finding another horcrux wearing off, people were getting annoyed with their mistakes. People being Regulus, of course.

“You shouldn’t have just left him there.”

“Look, Reg, we were trying to get out, okay?” Sirius placated, massaging his forehead.

“He’s probably already told the Malfoy’s. You sure he didn’t see the diary?”

Sirius sighed. He really was trying to be patient with his brother, but Regulus didn’t make it easy. “I don’t know, Reg. He didn’t notice it, but if Narcissa were to poke around in his head, maybe…”

Regulus sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair, and muttering to himself.

“What did you want me to do?” Sirius demanded. “My memory charms are rubbish, I just know Narcissa would be able to tell.”

“Yes, but you could’ve captured him or reported something…”

“We don’t have anyone to turn him in to, there’s no one we can trust with him! No one trusts us for that matter, report him to who?”

Regulus sighed. “All I’m saying is, you could have handled it better.”

“And what would you have done, Regulus?” Sirius demanded. “What option do we have, short of…of killing him in cold blood! We’re not murderers!”

Regulus bit his lip, and looked around at the four of them. “Fine,” he said simply. His voice was…empty.

Sirius sighed. “Reg?”

“You’re right,” Regulus offered, shrugging. “Would you excuse me?”

“Reg-”

Regulus cut him off with a weak smile. “I’m fine. I just want some fresh air.”

Sirius frowned. “Reg, you don’t even-”

Lily put a hand on his shoulder, gracefully interjecting: “You can go in the backyard, Regulus.” He gave her an awkward nod, and floated through the back door.”

No one said anything for several long beats. James cleared his throat. “Would anyone like dinner?”

James Potter happened to think he was a rather decent cook. One look in his near-empty fridge made him consider, well, reconsidering.

“Someone remind me to hit the grocery store tomorrow.”

“James, hit the grocery store tomorrow,” Remus said.

James smirked. “Thanks. Well, we’ve got eggs. How do people feel about breakfast for dinner?”

Lily turned away from a hushed conversation with Sirius, to offer a “sounds great, love.” Sirius nodded.

James turned to Remus, who shrugged. “You’re feeding us, I won’t complain.”

“Brilliant!” He tossed Remus a bag of bread–or rather, tossed it at him. Woops. Remus fumbled it, and caught it by the plastic tail. “Nice,” James commented. “Pop some of that in the toaster, will you?”

James began cracking eggs into his pan, when there was a muffled cry through the baby monitor.

“Someone’s awake,” Lily commented. “James, are you in the middle of- Oh, you are.”

“Just go, Lily,” Sirius offered. “It’s fine.”

“Are you quite sure?” Lily asked.

Sirius shrugged. “What else is there to talk about?”

Lily gave an uncertain nod before heading upstairs.

James plated up two over-easy eggs, atop two slices of buttered toast. He slid it in front of Sirius, who gave a thin smile. “Thanks mate.”

“Of course. Scrambled, Remus? Toast?” James asked.

“Yes, please. Um, I think there’s an owl at your window,” Remus added, crossing to the window.

“Oh, would you get it? Thanks. I’m gonna make your eggs with Lily’s in a bit then, she usually likes them that way,” James rambled as he turned away from the stove. “Sirius, how does Regulus like his…” James trailed off, desperately searching for any other end to the sentence, but nothing came to mind.

Sirius cleared his throat. “Who’s the owl from, Remus?”

Remus shrugged. “No name.” He walked over to give it to James, grabbing a toast point off the counter for the bird. “Maybe the Order?”

“Probably,” James agreed, slitting the envelope open with his finger, tearing it slightly. He pulled the letter out, and skimmed it. “Oh, this is definitely Moody’s handwriting. Not to mention it’s coded.”

Lily entered then, with Harry on her hip, sobbing, and not getting any quieter. “James, is his teether in the fridge?”

James abandoned the letter in favor of opening the fridge. “Yeah, right here.”

“Thank Merlin.”

“Ugh, and this cheese goes bad next week.”

Lily took the teething ring, holding it near Harry’s mouth until he recognized it, and took it for himself. That was something he’d been getting a lot better at–holding things.

“Scrambled eggs, darling?” James asked.

“Yes, please,” Lily answered, bouncing Harry as he calmed down.

“With cheese?” James asked, hopefully.

“Sure. Did you mention a mission?”

“There’s a letter from the Order,” Remus explained. “James was just opening it.”

“Brilliant, I’ll get Regulus,” Lily offered, heading to the back door. “Reg! There’s a letter from the Order. About a mission.” There was a pause. “So, come inside…Oh, don’t roll your eyes at me, you know you’re curious about it.”

Sirius looked at James, his brow furrowed. James just shrugged. Lily had always been friendly with everyone, he couldn’t see why it was a surprise to Sirius. Although, Sirius likely did not pay Lily’s every attribute as much mind as James did.

James flicked the letter to Sirius, and began cracking eggs as Regulus came back, sharing an awkward nod with Sirius.

Sirius unfolded the letter. “It’s…about quidditch, I think?”

“Yeah, they’re all sports metaphors, I think,” James offered. “Read it out to me.”

“‘On the twenty-third, at five pm, the entire team is to report to the pitch at the enclosed apparition coordinates for a match.’ Well that’s easy enough. ‘Remember to keep an eye on the quaffle,’”

“We’re looking for something? Or need to pay attention.”

“‘Keep up the Gryffindor spirit, and no Bishoppers,’ what the bloody hell does that mean?”

Lily answered instead though, as James wracked his brain for the name Bishopper. “Do you think it’s about the sword of Gryffindor? Is that what we’re looking for?”

“That would explain the bit about Bishopper,” Regulus mused. Everyone turned to him. “Vicky Bishopper? Eighteenth century seeker who famously rushed the field before the snitch was actually released? Or any of the balls, for that matter, but…relevancy. She was very skilled otherwise, though, to the point where some people believe the ref misled that it was released, but there’s no way of knowing.”

James frowned. “Was she in quidditch through the ages? I don’t remember her.”

Regulus frowned. “Oh, maybe not. No, she was in..what was it called? Famous Women in Quidditch History, or something. Emma thought she was cool, because she played for Slytherin, too.. She pointed her out to me when we were polishing the trophy room.”

“Why were you and Emma polishing the trophy room?” James asked, smirking at the thought of Regulus getting a detention.

“Out of the goodness of our hearts,” Regulus deadpanned. “What do you think?”

James laughed, and saw Sirius was looking even more confused. He offered another shrug.

Sirius cleared his throat. “Right, well, what does that mean for the mission then?”

“Merlin, do you think-” Remus cut himself off, thinking. “Yeah, it might be. Do you guys think it’s the sword? Like, don’t run into battle until it shows up?”

Lily pursed her lips, turning it over in her head. “James, you said it appears to true Gryffindors?”

“Yeah, but like, when they’re actively displaying courage, or something.”

Lily nodded. “Right, so what we’d need to do would be to…create a situation in which one needs to show true courage.”

“Yes, exactly!” Remus agreed. “But we’ll be nearby, so that whoever gets the sword isn’t in immense danger.”

“And so we can ensure it doesn’t end up in the wrong hands,” Lily finished.

“That’s the next bit I think,” Sirius said. “‘Don’t let them catch the snitch.’”

“Yes, well that’s all well and good,” James began. “But it doesn’t work like that. You can’t trick magic.”

“Says who?” Lily asked.

“You just can’t,” Sirius agreed.

“Well, maybe the person who’s getting quote-unquote ‘ambushed’ won’t know we’re there,” Remus offered. James frowned. That seemed a bit too…bait-y. Which almost made it seem like the more likely option. “Is there anything about that?” he asked, turning to Sirius.

“Um, ‘don’t tell anyone our secret strategy?’” he offered.

“Brilliant,” Lily offered. “Then I think that’s it then.”

Regulus cleared his throat. “Pardon me, but that’s awfully cryptic. I mean, assuming we’re right, what are the odds everyone else arrived at the same conclusion? Is this how you always communicate?”

“If we can’t have a meeting, yeah,” James answered.

“Right,” Lily agreed. “But oftentimes they’ll give us a-” The phone rang, cutting her off. “Brilliant,” Lily said, handing Harry off to Remus, and picking up the phone.

“Potter residence, this is Lily…Oh, Alice, hi…yes, we got it…we think so. Is this about the sword? … Yes, that’s what we thought, do you know who? … Merlin, and we can’t tell them, I take it? … Gotcha. … No, we figured it out. It wasn’t too bad, apart from the bit about…yeah, well, here’s hoping he listens to you next time, even James didn’t know. Is that all, then? … Oh, no he’s with us…yep, Remus, too…Brilliant, have a great night Alice!”

“Well?” James asked, after his wife had hung up the phone.

“We were right,” she offered, with a small sigh. “It’s the Prewett’s, and we can’t tell them. Which…I don’t know, I understand why, but it feels wrong.”

There was a heavy pause, as they all contemplated what would happen tomorrow.

Lily shook her head slightly, as if brushing off the weight, and attempted to break the ice. “You’ll like this though: Alice told Moody not to use Bishopper. She said no one would understand it, and he said that’s why we have confirmation calls. She’s spent all night explaining it to people.”

“Why write letters at all if you have confirmation calls?” Regulus asked.

Sirius shrugged. “Frank says it’s because Moody’s insane.”

Remus laughed, rolling his eyes. “That sounds like Frank. It minimizes the amount of information being spread, especially because most people use floo calls. Ideally, the messages are a bit easier, but Moody has…high expectations.”

James scoffed. “That’s putting it lightly. Toast, Lil?”

“Please.”

James plated up the scrambled eggs, and handed them off to Lily and Remus.

“None for me?” Regulus pouted. “Merlin, you must really hate the Kestrels.” Once he realized it was, in fact, a joke, James laughed.

“Don’t encourage him, James,” Sirius scolded, making a face at his brother. Regulus stuck his tongue out, and jabbed Sirius in the side with his hand. Sirius all but shrieked at the cold. “Don’t do that, you little git!”

Regulus ignored him, striking up a conversation with Remus, all the while failing to hide a smug grin.

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Unnamed Field in Wales
6:08 PM

Frank Longbottom was quite enamored with his wife. He was in awe of the way she could command a group of people.

“Black, cover Fabian!” Alice hollered.

“In the middle of something!” Sirius snapped back. He was currently locked in a duel with a Death Eater, slinging shield charms for his life.

Alice cursed under her breath, and looked to Frank. “Cover me.” Frank stepped in front of his wife as she steadily aimed her wand. “Stupefy!”

The Death Eater fell. Sirius looked up at her. “Thank-”

“Cover Fabian,” was all Alice said back.

“Nice shot,” Frank commented.

Alice tsked. “Don’t know how he even-” she ducked as Frank cast a shield on an incoming curse. “wound up that far, I bloody told him- Impedimenta! I told him to stick on Fabian, that’s–three o’clock, Frank–our priority.” Frank turned to see a Death Eater shooting stunners his way, and cast a quick shield before sending a–better placed, if he said so himself–stupefy right back.

Fabian was indeed a priority right now, seeing as he was currently in possession of The Sword of Gryffindor. And very unsure of what to do with it.

From what Frank could see, he was surrounded by a cluster of Death Eaters that Gideon was trying to pick off, and swinging the sword with a good deal of incompetence (the Prewetts were purebloods, but they weren’t that type of purebloods). He’d pocketed his wand in favor of using two hands, which was reasonable, but meant he needed Sirius’ back-up all the more. Or possibly more than that.

“Ally, he’s surrounded!” Frank called over the building noise of dozens of duels.

Alice looked to Fabian, and Gideon and Sirius’ attempts. “Crap. Fenwick! Frank, distract the short one so Benjy can back them up.”

“Roger that.” Frank crossed to where Benjy was immersed in a duel, and cast a shield for him. “Benjy, I’ve got this, go back up Fabian.”

Benjy nodded. “Yeah, okay, where-”

Frank nodded his head to the center of the field, and Benjy nodded before dashing off, casting shields, and throwing a few stunners where he could. His aim was good, and he didn’t take risks. If he didn’t spend most of his time healing, he’d be great to have on missions.

Speaking of missions, Frank was supposed to be in the middle of a duel right now, and he only just realized his shield was starting to weaken. Crap. Focus, Longbottom.

Evan Rosier honestly wasn’t really expecting Prewett to know what he was doing. He seemed quite…naive when it came to using a sword. And, in his own naivety, Evan didn’t consider that that could be just as dangerous.

That is, Evan didn’t consider it until he looked down, and saw that the slice across his chest had done far more than ruin his robes.

And as it slowly registered, the pain immediately surfaced.

Salazar, that hurt. He didn’t know what Prewett had hit, or if it was vital, or if people just normally bled this much. He collapsed in his pain, crumpling to his knees, seeing without seeing the duels in front of him.

None of the other Death Eaters–his so-called brothers in arms–seemed to care, and just kept right on duelling.

Which…actually didn’t surprise him. He’d done the same, this was the least horrid on the long list of things Evan probably deserved. Because Evan was slowly realizing he deserved quite a bit of hell for all he’d done, and Merlin, why did this moment of clarity have to happen now, when there wasn’t a single bloody thing he could do.

Not that he’d change anything, given the chance. Evan rather thought morality was for those far braver than him.

But on his knees and bleeding out, Evan could no longer sneer at morality. It evidently meant something, one way or another. There had to be something after this life, surely.

Because if there wasn’t, that meant he would just…cease to exist.

Evan simply blinked, and when he opened his eyes he was somewhere white.

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Sirius Black’s Flat
7:39 PM

Sirius Black put his key in the door of his flat, and turned it. He was running on pure adrenaline at the moment, and even that was slowly dwindling. He entered his home and started for his bed, only to get accosted by his brother.

“Well?” Regulus demanded. “How was the mission?”

Sirius sighed. “It went fine. All according to plan. Fabian drew the sword, and they held their own for a bit while we all came out into the open.” He flopped down on the couch, where he could stare up at the ceiling and privately wish Regulus would leave him be. “The battle lasted ages, I’m exhausted.”

“No casualties?” Regulus asked.

“Not for us. Fabian took out Rosier. Sliced him pretty bad, and he bled out.”

“He’s...dead?” Regulus’ voice was empty. Sirius turned to look at him, and realized he didn’t look very well. He’d stiffened all of a sudden.

“Yes.”

Regulus’ face fell. “Excuse me.” He turned around and began floating out of the room.

“What?” Sirius called. “What’s the matter?”

Regulus sighed. “Nothing’s the matter, Sirius. I...I just need to be alone.”

“Don’t tell me it’s Rosier that’s got you bent out of shape,” Sirius said, sitting up on the couch.

Regulus whirled around, his eyes wide and full of pain. Pure raw pain that had yet to decide whether or not it would make its appearance as anger or sadness. “Don’t you talk about Evan! You have no right!”

“Oh, so he’s Evan, now?” Sirius demanded.

“What do you bloody mean ‘now?’ He’s always been Evan,” Regulus stated, like it was the most obvious thing.

“But you’re mates with him?” Sirius asked.

“Mates?” Regulus mocked. “Not anymore, apparently, as we’re both dead!” he shouted.

“Merlin, Regulus, would it kill you to-" Sirius stopped mid sentence, and took a breath, not looking at his brother. "Would it be so hard to give me a straight answer? Were you mates with Evan Rosier?”

“Yes,” Regulus snapped, “although for the record, it’s a little late for you to care.”

“Regulus!” Sirius stood up.

Regulus just rolled his eyes. “I’m not wrong. Now do you have a rational reason for getting worked up, or can I be left alone now?”

“A rational reason?” Sirius repeated aghast. “I don’t want you to be mates with people like Rosier!”

“Well Fabian sodding Prewett took care of that for you, didn’t he?” Regulus shouted. He swiped at his eyes. He was...crying?

“Regulus, he’s a Death Eater,” Sirius explained gently.

Regulus glared at him. “So he deserved it?” Without breaking eye contact Regulus pulled up his left sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark, and his cut. “Did I deserve it, Sirius?” he hissed.

Sirius looked between the gash on his brother’s arm and the tears welling up in his eyes.

“I never said-”

“You certainly implied it. How would it feel, Sirius, if I came and told you that one of my mates had killed Potter? If I acted like I didn’t give a crap about your mate, acted like you had no right to be upset?”

Sirius frowned. “I thought you and James were finally getting on?”

Regulus seemed to boil with anger. “That’s not the bloody point! This isn’t about Potter, it’s about Evan!” And then he exploded. “AND EVAN IS DEAD!” he screamed.

Sirius was taken aback. “You want me to leave you alone?” he asked. “Fine, I will. I don’t care anymore, Regs! You don’t even have to stay here. Merlin, for all I care, you can go find the rest of your horrid school friends and toast to what Rosier did for your cause.”

Regulus Black was on the verge of a–no scratch that, having–a breakdown, and his brother didn’t care. He gaped at Sirius, sure he’d misunderstood. “I- You want me to…”

“I don’t care what you do.” Sirius’ voice was flat. No feeling in a single word.

Regulus was not going to cry. He’d keep getting angry if that was what it took to keep himself from surrendering to that weakness.

“Here’s the thing, Sirius." Just leave, he told himself. Don't try and win, just leave. "You wanted me to run away? When Mother and Father were trying to tell me what to believe and how to feel, you thought I should’ve just left?" Just walk away, you're making it worse. Another voice in his head answered, louder: I don't care. "Well, I didn’t. But I sure as hell won’t make that mistake twice.”

Regulus turned around, and headed to the back of the hallway, counting on Sirius being too dumbstruck to follow him. Comparing him to their parents was a low blow, and Regulus knew that. But who cares? Because Evan was dead, and Sirius didn’t care about that. So who cared if he hurt Sirius’ feelings? It’s not like Sirius had feelings for anyone other than the rest of the sodding Gryffindors.

By the time Regulus made it to the street facing window, Sirius had begun following him. “Regulus? Regulus, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

Regulus took one last look at Sirius, feeling he should say something, but not knowing what. So without a word, Regulus floated right through the wall.

Regulus made his way through the streets, under the cover of darkness, and the security of being in a largely muggle area.

Evan was gone. Evan who’d been Regulus’ first friend at school. Evan who loathed writing essays, but could duel and handle creatures like no one else Regulus had ever met. Evan who joked about hitting illegal bludgers at their opponents, but enjoyed the thrill of an even match too much to make good on it. Evan who had teased him mercilessly for his “mystery girlfriend” in fifth year.

Evan who could never just sodding walk away from a fight.

They’d all teased him for it.

“Cool it, Gryffindor,” Regulus would say, causing Evan to pout for a good while.

He remembered Barty saying “Some people choose fight or flight. Evan chooses wand or fists.” That (along with half a bottle of firewhiskey) had made all three of them laugh like maniacs.

It wasn’t funny anymore.

Does Barty remember that? Regulus wondered. Is it as painfully ironic for him as it is for me?

Regulus wandered around the city. He wished he could sleep. He'd take nightmares over this. The worst part was that he didn't know which feelings were okay. What if Sirius was right? What if he wasn't allowed to mourn Evan? Was that the deal he’d made? Was he really supposed to give up on Evan now?

Regulus looked around at all the buildings and houses he didn't recognize, and knew he wouldn't be able to find his way back to Sirius' apartment.

Well, forget Sirius, and forget his dumb ideas about feelings.

If Regulus was losing it over Evan's death, he was losing it over Evan's death. He felt what he felt, and that was a freedom Regulus had only ever experienced once before. Perhaps one only experiences it when the world shatters.

Much like the first time, on that cold December night, Regulus surrendered to the fact that no one would hear him, or at least that no one would care.

And then he screamed.

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Wanstead Park
6:47 PM

Regulus Black just wanted it to end.

He’d spent the night cursing out everyone and everything in his life. His non-life.

He’d cursed the awful house he’d grown up in, and he cursed Sirius for leaving it, because he didn’t care anymore if that made any sense.

He’d cursed his parents for things he couldn’t put into words, things he was still learning had been messed up. He’d cursed all his ancestors for making their family so screwed up to begin with.

He’d cursed himself and Evan for joining the Death Eaters and dying, to the point where he was never quite sure which of them he was talking about.

He’d cursed the Dark Lord for ruining his life, and he’d cursed every adult he knew for not realizing sooner–or perhaps at all–that it was being ruined.

He’d thought about all the children that had gotten swept into this war, and all the adults that weren’t fighting at all, and the sound that had left his throat was so violent that Regulus thought it might not have been entirely human, and was sure he should have strained his throat. But he hadn’t, because he couldn’t feel anything physical.

All he could feel were his own garbage emotions, and he’d already had a life’s bloody supply of those.

He was barely even real anymore.

And finally, because he’d already given up on feeling anything logical, Regulus had realized that what he really felt like doing...was killing Death.

He had screamed into the night sky that he’d find a way, and he’d kill him, hoping wherever Death was, he heard the threat.

Regulus was tired of being a ghost. He wished he’d died like normal.

He could be in the garden with Evan and his grandmother, but he’d made the wrong choice a year ago–he’d let his eternity hinge on people whose approval he would never have–and now he was in an unfamiliar park by himself; in some hideous crumbling structure that pales in comparison to the Manor, surrounded by fields of what might have been bluebells choking on February air.

Even his grandmother hadn’t tried to fight the seasons, but wherever it was that he’d met Death seemed to exist in a state of perpetual springtime. And while Regulus couldn’t feel the chill in the air, the thought of spring sounded quite nice right about now.

Maybe...maybe if they destroyed all the horcruxes...if he finished his so-called “unfinished business”...

“Kreacher?” he called.

The elf appeared, faithful as ever. “Master Regulus, is everything alright? What are you doing here?”

“Everything’s going to be fine, Kreacher. Can you get my notes from the Potter’s, please? And bring them to the Shack? We have a lot of work we need to do.”

Kreacher was quiet for the slightest moment–probably no one but Regulus would pick up on it–and then he seemed to snap out of his internal debate. Regulus wondered if Kreacer disapproved of this change in plans. “Of course, Master.” He disappeared with a loud crack.

Regulus wondered if Kreacher would give his honest opinion, if asked. But it didn’t much matter, as Regulus was quite done listening to other people’s opinions of him.

Regulus closed his eyes, visualizing Hogsmeade, and trying to push down all the doubts flitting around his mind. His plan had to work. He would do this. He’d kill the Dark Lord, and Death would have to let him move on.

Regulus Black was ready to die, and he wasn’t going to trip at the finish line this time.

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Hogsmeade
8:03 AM

Lily Potter apparated just outside of the Shrieking Shack before going inside.

“Hello?” she called.

Regulus floated through the ceiling--or floor, depending on your perspective. “What are you doing here?” he snapped.

Lily gave a sympathetic smile. Kreacher had warned her he was quite upset–granted, she had to press the elf a bit to get an answer. “I heard something happened between you and Sirius. James is talking to him, and I-”

“Drew the short straw,” Regulus finished.

Lily frowned. “No. I thought I’d hear your side of the story.”

Regulus gave her a doubtful scowl. “Thanks for all of your help. I think I’m gonna finish this on my own, though.”

“This?” Lily asked. “This as in what we’ve been working on for the past three months? That this?”

“I’m not gonna make you guys choose between me and Sirius. You’re his friends, not mine.”

“Regulus, you’re being dramatic.”

“I am not. Even if I wanted to see him again, and even if he wanted to see me again, I have to do this on my own. There’s a chance you guys have already helped too much.”

“Regulus, what are you talking about? You’re worrying about this too much, you and Sirius always wind up working things out.”

“Yes, well, Sirius has made it quite clear how he really feels about me.”

Lily frowned. “I highly doubt that. Being clear about his feelings isn’t one of Sirius’ skills. Please, Regulus. You’re brothers. I know you love each other.”

Regulus scoffed. “Grow up, Lily.” Lily’s eyes widened, but Regulus shrugged, as if what he was saying were obvious. “We’re just brothers. That’s not...a guarantee of love,” tears pricked at the corners of Lily’s eyes suddenly. “It’s just a biological fact. There’s no law that makes your siblings love you. It’d just be nice if Siri- if they did.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Lily demanded, swiping at her eyes with her sleeve. She lowered her voice. “I know how it works, Regulus. I know all that, you’re not gonna shock me into leaving with this revelation, if that’s your goal.”

Regulus hung his head. “You’re sister’s...more or less the same, then?”

“As Sirius?” Lily asked. “Merlin, no! I wish Petunia cared about me the way Sirius cares about you. On good days, you two give me hope, but some days…do you have any idea how jealous it makes me?”

Regulus stared at her, his face utterly blank. “You’re...jealous?” he asked at length. “Of me?” Lily realized he was talking more to himself. There was something in his tone that gave it away. “Jealous. Of me,” he repeated, shocked. He stared at the floor, and picked at his robe sleeve a bit. Lily wondered if there was some eternally loose thread on it.

Nearly a minute or so ticked by before Lily spoke up.

“What did you and Sirius fight about?”

Regulus gave Lily a look, about to protest, but she leveled him with a look of her own. He took a deep breath. “One of my mates died. At that ambush yesterday.”

Lily froze, unsure what to say, but only for the briefest second. Unfortunately, she was becoming used to dealing with loss. “Oh, Regulus. I’m so sorry. Who was it?”

“He was a Death Eater.”

“I know.” That had been the only casualty, but she hadn’t even considered that Regulus might have known him. “But who was he?”

“Who cares?” Regulus challenged, the irony dripping off the words. So this is what he and Sirius had fought about. He stared at the floor as he continued, some of the irony gone. “He was just another Death Eater. He...deserved it.” Regulus sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

“Regulus,” Lily coaxed. “What was his name?”

Regulus looked her in the eyes, on the verge of tears. “Evan Rosier?” he said, like it was a question.

Lily nodded. “How did you two become friends?”

“Roommates. We were distant cousins, so I saw him once or twice. But we didn’t become real friends until school.” Regulus had a bittersweet smile at whatever he was remembering. “It was me and him and Barty, and...and maybe they weren’t great people, but they were good friends, y’know?” Lily just nodded as she saw him biting his lip, trying to keep from crying. “Evan wasn’t nice to a lot of people, but he was nice to me and Barty. He looked out for us, and he made me laugh when I needed it, and...now he’s dead...and I feel like I should be allowed to just...cry about that, without people thinking I’m about to...head off and sodding reenlist!”

Lily just nodded. “I know how you feel,” she offered.

“Really?” Regulus asked.

At another time, Lily would have chuckled at his skepticism. “Somewhat. An old friend of mine, Severus, joined the Death Eaters. I still don’t know if I saw it coming and ignored it, or if I was just clueless, but...I try so hard not to care about him, but it’s pointless. I care about him either way. I don’t want him to die in this war, even if he’s on the wrong side.”

“Yeah. Evan...Evan was such an idiot,” Regulus said, laughing like it was a joke. “He was great at dueling, but a massive hothead. And...well, he died in a duel, so I’m sure something...I wonder if he was off his game, or something.”

“I’m so sorry,” Lily said.

“Why?” Regulus asked. “You didn’t kill him. I’m sure Prewett thought he was doing the right thing. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, I doubt he knew it would be fatal. No one needs to apologize.”

“What about Sirius?”

Regulus shrugged. “He didn’t kill Evan.”

“I’m not talking about that,” Lily said. Another shrug. “Regulus, Sirius was out of line. You know that, right?”

Regulus frowned. “Of course. But he's not gonna apologize."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because he doesn't want to see me again. And he won't. I'll destroy the horcruxes, and I'll be gone."

"Gone where?"

Regulus gave her a look. "Lily," he said softly, as if he knew she knew the answer. As if he was begging her to stop pretending.

But Lily didn't know the answer. And then all of a sudden she did. "Regulus, are you sure?"

"That's the plan. Finish the unfinished business. Shuffle off this mortal coil." He looked down at himself. "Well, whatever you call this."

"That's why you want to do it by yourself," Lily whispered as the pieces all came together. “Will that even work?”

“It’s my only chance,” Regulus answered, his voice frostier at the question.

“How are you gonna destroy them?” Lily asked.

“We’ll find a way. There has to be something. House-Elf magic, or maybe there’s something I could do, I mean, no one’s done much research on ghosts, there could be undiscovered magic. There has to be something that could work, why else would Death send me back here?”

Lily frowned. She’d been getting to know Regulus more and more, and it hurt to see him so…intense. He was so focused, but he wasn’t thinking straight.

“Regulus,” Lily began. She waited for him to look her in the eyes. “It sounds like you’re grasping at straws. You’re not even sure if this will work.”

Regulus shrugged. “I have years to figure it out–centuries, even–I’m not going anywhere until I do.”

“And what about the rest of us?” Lily asked. “The rest of us don’t have centuries.” He looked at the floor, slightly uncomfortable. “Regulus, listen to me.” He looked around the Shack, seeming lost in his own thoughts. Lily paused. She wasn’t sure if she had any right to say this to him…but someone had to. Regardless of right, she had the responsibility. Or so she told herself, in hopes it would give her the courage. “This isn’t about you. From the beginning, it’s been about ending the war. You can’t let the war last for centuries. It needs to end with us. I don’t want…” Lily felt the smallest tears in her eyes. “I don’t want another generation to grow up in a war. I want better for Harry. And Neville, and Luna, and-” Lily cut herself off, letting the sentence hang in the air.

Regulus kept staring at the floor. And then, suddenly his head snapped up. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Lily repeated.

“Okay, you’re right. Okay, I need your help. You’re right, I was being…selfish, or stubborn, or something. You’re right.”

There was a knock on the Shack’s door, and Regulus stiffened a bit.

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Sirius Black’s Flat
8:08 PM

James Potter stepped out of the floo, looking around the flat for his best mate. “Sirius?” he called.

“James?” Sirius called back, his socks sliding on the wooden floor as he entered the room. “Oh. Are you alone?” he asked.

“Yeah,” James answered. Sirius’ face fell. “Mate, what happened? Kreacher was at our house, and he-”

“Kreacher was at your house?” Sirius interrupted.

“Yes, he was getting your brother’s notes. What happened with you two?” James asked again. “Did you have a falling out?”

Sirius sighed, and flopped back onto his couch. “Yeah, you could say that. I said some stupid things, he got pissed, we shouted at each other, he compared me to Walburga, and floated out the window.” James’ eyes widened. The casual mention of his mother…well, it was anything but casual, knowing Sirius. He was trying very hard to make it sound casual. “I just…thought he’d be back by now,” Sirius continued. “I guess I just…finally found the line that I can’t cross with him.” He laid down on his chest, shoving his face in a sofa cushion.

James sighed. “Sit up, Sirius.” Sirius groaned, and sat up. “Y’know, for the two most stubborn people I’ve ever met-” Sirius scowled. “-you and Regulus give up on each other too easily.”

“James, he literally hates me.”

“Yeah, from what I’ve read, that’s how siblings work,” James mused. “But mate, he’s hated you before, and he got over it. Give it another try?”

Sirius seemed to be weighing it. James had expected him to agree almost instantaneously, so clearly there was something big James was missing.

“What if-” Sirius began. He stopped immediately. James gave a nod, hoping to be encouraging. “What if I’m really too much like her?” Sirius asked. James didn’t need him to clarify who he meant. His tone was enough. “I mean, if it’s, I don’t know, genetic, or whatever, then…Regs would be better off without me.”

James turned the words over in his mind, and studied Sirius’ face. He really seemed to believe it, and that was what hurt James.

“I thought I’d be a horrible father,” James volunteered. “I thought that I’d mess up, that I wouldn’t have any idea what to do.”

“But your dad was…great,” Sirius muttered a touch of confusion in his voice.

“Yeah,” James agreed. “Yeah, he was. But he was also in St. Mungo’s when I found out Lily was pregnant.” James bit his lip, trying to keep his voice from cracking at memories of his parents…in those hospital beds. “And I said to him: ‘I don’t know how to do this without you.’ And it was true, I’ve had my parents backing me up for everything in my life. And Dad said ‘No one can teach you how to raise kids, James. I just hope your mum and I taught you to love them.’” James shrugged, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Talking about Dad was hard, especially that story, and especially now. “And I don’t know if that…translates at all, even, but I think that…feeling like you’re gonna mess up, shows that you care about him.”

Sirius scoffed, and pushed himself off the couch. “There’s more to it than that, though, James. It doesn’t start and end with caring. Maybe my mother cared for us, huh?”

“Sirius-”

“No really, who’s to say that’s not just how the Black family cares for each other? Maybe we’re all just that messed up in the head.”

James sighed. “Sirius, you know that’s not true. You care about Regulus, more than she ever did. And I don’t think you’d ever let yourself become your mother.” It was true. If James knew Sirius–and he did–Sirius would think that becoming his mother meant…letting her win. “You’re smart enough to figure the rest out.”

Sirius shrugged, sitting back down in another attempt at looking casual. “Maybe. If he gave me another chance. But I’m not gonna…just show up and force my presence on him.”

James raised an eyebrow. He’d known Sirius for nine years, and this wasn’t like him. James cleared his throat. “Kreacher said he’s at the Shrieking Shack.”

Sirius sprung up from the couch. “Let’s bloody go, then.” He made his way to the door, grabbing his leather jacket off a hook.

James just smiled to himself, and grabbed Sirius’ arm to apparate to Hogsmeade.

They landed just outside the Shrieking Shack, and Sirius turned to James for a moment. “Thanks, James. You’re…oddly good at this.”

James chuckled. “Well, the parenting books help.”

Sirius just rolled his eyes. “Another parenting book phase?” he asked, teasing. James just shrugged, not commenting as Sirius knocked on the door to the Shack.

Sirius Black didn’t know what he was expecting, but he was surprised when Lily was the one to open the door. Which, obviously, made sense, but for some inane reason, Sirius had been expecting Regulus.

“Hey,” Lily greeted, grinning. She turned to look inside the run down house. “It’s Sirius!” she called. There was a moment of pause in which there was no response. “Come on in,” Lily offered after a few short seconds passed.

She stepped aside to let Sirius pass, pulling James in for a kiss when he stepped closer. Sirius continued into the first floor of the house, only to see Regulus’ feet disappearing through the ceiling.

“Really?” he demanded, yelling at the ceiling in a way that probably made him seem crazy. He looked at Lily, who just shrugged. Sirius gave a sigh that was just the right amount of dramatic, thank you very much, and dashed up the stairs, and into the bedroom, if one could really call it that.

Regulus was curled up on the window seat, looking outside. “Regs-” Sirius started, not quite sure what else to say. He’d thought, with how much he’d messed things up with Regulus, he’d have gotten better at apologies. “Listen, I’m sorry-”

“You ought to be,” Regulus snapped, crossing his arms indignantly.

Sirius winced. He shouldn’t have expected Reg to make it easy. He couldn’t even blame him for it, really. “Yeah. I know, I screwed that up. Big time. I guess I was worried about you-” Regulus scoffed. “I was. I am, but I…guess I panicked, or something, and went about it all wrong. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”

“Really?” Regulus demanded, turning out to face him a bit more. “You couldn’t be bothered about Evan dying, and now you’re saying you’re sorry you screwed up?”

Sirius’ shoulders slumped. “Yeah. I should’ve been there for you, made sure you were doing alright. Are you? Doing alright?”

“I can’t believe this!” Regulus said, ice in his voice, standing up and floating slowly closer to Sirius. “You think you can turn it around just like that?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But what?” Regulus snapped. His round face seemed to have developed sharp edges in his anger.

Sirius didn’t really know where he was going, but Regulus’ expression was challenging him to speak now. “But…war, and losing people, and having to constantly be fighting. It’s exhausting, and you need people to be on your side sometimes. So…are you doing alright? After hearing about Rosi- Evan?”

Regulus took a deep breath. “Screw it. I can’t do this again.”

“Do what?” Sirius asked. Hoping Regulus wasn’t saying what he thought. Hoping that this wasn’t Regulus’ way of telling him to get out.

“I can’t lose anymore people, Sirius. And right now I’m looking at an eternity of it. But Lily’s right.” Regulus gave a dry laugh. “Do you know what I told the Dark- Voldemort? In my note?” Sirius shook his head, unsure where Regulus was taking this. “I told him I’d stolen his horcrux, and that I ‘intend to destroy it as soon as I can.' But here I was, contemplating putting it off, just so I could be the one to do it.”

Sirius simply listened, a thousand thoughts leaping to his tongue, but restraining himself. That wasn’t what Regulus wanted or needed right now.

“I just wanted to die. For real. Complete my unfinished business, perhaps say proper goodbyes, this time, and finally move on to…whatever else there is.” Regulus shook his head quickly. When he continued talking, his wistfulness was replaced with certainty. “But the war needs to end.”

Sirius turned everything Regulus had shared over in his head. He thought about what he’d read, the few books about ghosts he’d managed to find. “If it matters to you, Regs, I…don’t think that would’ve worked. From what I’ve read, it’s unusual that this is your unfinished business in the first place. It’s oftentimes personal, and it’s not really a task that’s ever completed.”

Regulus seemed to think about that a bit, nodding to himself, and then asked: “You’ve read about it?”

“Yeah,” Sirius answered, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve been reading up on ghosts ever since…well, for about a month, now. It’s apparently quite common, though. What you’re feeling.”

“Yeah. And I…forgive you, I can’t lose anyone else. I knew it would be bad, but now…with Evan… Well, now it’s just more real.”

“Regs, about that-”

“It’s fine, Sirius, really. I don’t want to fight.”

Sirius shook his head. He wanted to make up with Regs, but not like this. “It’s not. I shouldn’t have said what I did. You had every right to be upset about that.”

Regulus shrugged. “I said you were like Mother and Father.”

As if that had erased Sirius’ offense. As if being even would void any need to apologize. The one-eighty was shocking.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “That hurt, but two wrongs don’t make a right, Reg. And…maybe it wasn't entirely off?” Sirius gave a shrug. It wasn’t as if it hadn’t crossed his mind before. “I don’t know, I…I guess we both inherited some of the craziness. Normalcy was too much to hope for, with it coming from both sides.” He lost his joking tone about halfway through the sentence.

“And…you know that what they did was wrong, yeah? It was horrible, and it’s not normal, that’s not how families should be, Regs. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Regulus agreed, his tone colored with melancholy. “Yeah, I’m learning that.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, okay. Good, that’s…good.” He paused, collecting his scattered thoughts. Everytime the voice in Sirius’ head told him that he was turning into his mother, he’d brushed it off, tucked it into the shadows of his mind. Perhaps it needed to be shoved into the light, once and for all. “My point is, Regulus, being better than Walburga and Orion is a choice. And a promise I’m making to you.”

Regulus seemed to turn his words over in his mind. Over and over. And over. His brother thought about things longer and harder than he did, and it was making Sirius impatient.

Regulus finally nodded. “Alright then. And, Sirius?” Sirius met his eyes, giving a simple nod. “The same to you.”

Sirius nodded, feeling oddly proud of Regulus. “Brilliant.”

“We’re good then?” Regulus asked.

Sirius smiled to himself slightly. “Yes, Regs, we’re good.”

Regulus grinned. “Then let’s go kill Voldemort!” And he laughed, once, bright and triumphant.

“Tonight?” Sirius asked, a grin creeping onto his face.

“Tonight,” Regulus confirmed, still grinning.

It was almost contagious. “For Evan?” Sirius asked, still slightly unsure of where to step with the topic.

The question gave Regulus pause, for only a second, when he gave a small shake of his head. “For me.”

“I’ll rally the troops.”

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Black Manor
7:04 PM

Regulus Black could feel the air around him buzzing. The night felt electric. The lawn of the manor was silent apart from chirping crickets, and conversations between Sirius and company.

Tonight was the night. Everyone was trying and failing to look calm. They were all nervous: for what would come after, or more so that it wouldn’t work. But at the same time, the end of the war was closer than it had ever been, and…

“Right, Reg?” James asked, stirring Regulus from his thoughts. Regulus had no idea what James was referring to. He just nodded, as he saw someone coming over one of the many hills, and set off in her direction.

“You made it,” he said, by way of greeting.

Pandora smiled. “I did.” She shrugged. “Xeno can take her for one night. He was quite excited at the idea, actually.”

Regulus nodded, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. Pandora talking about Lovegood was just something he’d have to get used to, he supposed. He wondered if it would hurt less with time, or if being a ghost meant it would never quite go away. He thought of Helena, and her years of bitterness in the castle.

“C’mon, everyone’s over this way.” Regulus gestured to the small group of five in the valley, shaking himself from his thoughts, and they were most of the way back when they heard voices.

“I’d just hate to be rude,” a man’s voice said. It was vaguely familiar, but Regulus couldn’t place him.

He looked over his shoulder to see the Longbottoms making their way down the hill, Frank carrying a familiarly shaped bottle by the neck, and looking at it uncertainly.

“Yes, but it’s too late now. We’ve already brought it,” Alice countered.

“I just…I mean, I don’t even know the guy. We barely got to make a first impression. I know nothing about ghosts, are you sure it’s not ru…” Frank stopped as he realized that everyone had already seen them and were watching. “Um…”

“We brought firewhiskey!” Alice cheered, snatching the bottle from Frank, and holding it out demonstratively.

Everyone was silent for a moment, and Regulus realized they were all watching him. Apparently he was in charge of the whole shindig, now. Merlin, since when do I say shindig? Bloody Sirius.

He smiled at Alice. “Well, that’s brilliant, thank you.” Everyone else seemed to take that as their cue that the Longbottoms had not made an egregious breach of etiquette, and chorused their agreement, beginning to mingle.

“Regulus?” Remus asked. “Is there a chance you might…vanish? When we destroy them, I mean.”

Sirius and Pandora answered at the same time:
“No.”
“Unlikely.”

They all looked at Pandora. “Soul magic is quite unpredictable, but, from what I’ve researched-”

Regulus groaned. “You too?”

“You knew I was going to.” Sirius and Remus laughed, and mercifully James pulled them into another conversation, because what came next was rather personal. He wouldn’t know how to explain it to either of them. “You’re unfinished business probably isn’t the horcruxes at all. It’s rarely a physical, tangible task.”

Regulus sighed. “Yeah, so I've been told. Sirius thinks I’m a special case, but…”

“But?”

“Lady Helena told me that my business isn’t ‘meddling in mortal affairs,’ which, well, I’d call it an immortal affair, given the situation, but… I mean, I think it’s still tied to the war, just not as directly.” Pandora nodded. Regulus hoped he wasn’t opening an old wound, talking about that day again. “I asked her what else it could be, and she said she couldn’t tell me. That I had to…’discover that for myself,’ or something.”

“That sounds like her,” Pandora agreed.

Regulus looked over at Sirius, where he was talking with the rest of the Gryffindors, watching them all for just a moment. He wasn’t quite sure what he ought to tell his brother, in terms of the unfinished business. He was still surprised Sirius had thought to do research on ghosts for him. A lot about that conversation earlier today surprised him.

He’d backed down rather easily, something he told himself he wouldn’t do anymore. At the very least, it wasn’t for his own cowardice.

In that moment, the reminder of Evan, of what could be lost any day…with startling clarity, Regulus determined the fight not worth it. Compared to the centuries he had ahead of him, he’d have so little time with the people he’d come to care about.

The most shocking part, though, was when Sirius didn’t immediately accept his hasty olive branch.

Sirius caught his eye, and something seemed to occur to him, because he extracted himself, and came over. Regulus noticed he had the bag with the horcruxes in his hand. It was a large velvet bag, with gold embroidery making containment runes. Apparently Frank had gotten it from the Auror department.

“We should find a place to leave these. I don’t want them too close when it's cast. Just in case,” Sirius explained. Regulus nodded, and followed him off into a further, emptier part of the valley.

When they were a good ways away from the group, Sirius spoke up again. “There’s something else I was wondering: the ring.”

“What about it?” Regulus asked.

“You really think it’s the resurrection stone?” Sirius asked, as if he needed one final clarification before he said whatever else was on my mind.

“It doesn’t really matter much…”

“But?” Sirius prompted.

“But I’m quite certain. Between the coat of arms, and lineages…it all lines up.” Sirius nodded. “We have to destroy it, Sirius. It’s…tempting. Very much so, to think that I could have some sort of connection after everyone’s…gone. But…who’s to say it’ll even work? I mean, if Voldemort made it a horcrux, that probably changed the magical properties. And, if it’s anything like the story,” Regulus shrugged, because a children’s story was a ridiculous thing to base such a decision off, “then it wouldn’t bring anyone back, not truly. And I could become obsessive, and…it’s too dangerous, and that’s assuming it works. We can’t risk the whole war for this.”

Sirius gave him a scrutinizing look. “You’ve thought about this a great deal.”

Regulus nodded, slightly ashamed. “Yeah. I’ve been trying to talk myself out of it ever since I realized. And still, there’s a part of me that wants to keep it. Just put it with the others, and burn them all. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you-”

Regulus shook his head, interrupting. “Don’t ask me if I’m sure.”

Sirius nodded, and emptied the bag onto the lawn. They walked back in silence.

Sirius Black shouldn’t be thinking about his mother right now. But Regulus’ defeated face from earlier today was a bit too reminiscent of five years ago for his liking.

So when Regulus told Sirius to cast the spell–to really, truly mean it: to find something that made him angry, and let that fuel him–Walburga Black came to mind.

“Exsecratus ignis!” With the rage already burning in his mind, casting the flames was simply opening the floodgates.

The surrounding air grew hot and humid from the power. Sirius was blinded by the bright orange, and his ears were pounding with adrenaline, to the point where he could only just hear shocked gasps from the few that hadn’t seen the spell yet.

And then he heard a sound he couldn’t mistake, loud, clear, and bypassing his ears to ring directly in his brain. Voices–no, just one voice–screaming in harmonious pain.

The scream died out after the longest minute of Sirius’ life. He looked out of the corner of his eye to Regulus, who nodded once.

“Exsinxisti.” Sirius gave his wand a flick, and the final plumes of fire came out, before it all curled in on itself and dissipated. He looked at Regulus, whose face was carefully guarded, and asked: “Did we do it?”

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Black Manor
7:23 PM

Regulus Black gave a slow nod. “I think we did it.”

There was silence–everyone was still holding their breath. Regulus took it upon himself to go back into the field, to be certain. He heard footsteps behind him–Sirius’, to be exact.

What they found was simply ash. Tightly packed together, and still holding its shape, but ash all the same. Sirius nudged the diadem with his foot, and it crumbled at the slightest touch. Regulus studied the scene, assuring that everything was accounted for.

It wasn’t.

“Sirius,” Regulus whispered. “The ring.”

But that wasn’t quite right either…the ring was destroyed, a round circle of black illuminated in Sirius’ wand light. No, it was just the stone that remained, undestroyed.

Sirius picked it up before Regulus could caution him against it.

Regulus’ mind was running in circles, trying to sort out what they had done wrong. What could they do wrong that would even be able to separate metal from stone? The stone certainly hadn’t been spared the fiendfyre, it was right in the middle of the pile.

Sirius, however, remained perfectly calm. “I guess you were right.”

“What?” Regulus asked.

“The Resurrection Stone. It must have some sort of..immunity. But the horcrux is gone from it, I think. There’s no compulsion…I wonder if-”

“Sirius, don’t do anythi-”

Sirius was turning the stone over in his hand. Thrice.

Then there was a woman in front of them, dressed in a gold satin nightgown, with her salt and pepper hair in a loose braid. Her face was wrinkled with laugh lines, and she was smiling at them. She was so incredibly familiar, but Regulus couldn't bring himself to indulge in the hope, yet.

“My boys,” she whispered, her eyes welling up with tears as she looked at them.

Regulus was stunned into silence, but Sirius wasn’t. “Grandmother?” he asked, his voice cracking. She nodded. “Merlin. It’s good to see you, I…I don’t know what I was expecting, but…wow.”

Grandmother laughed, lightly. “It’s wonderful to see you, Sirius. Both of you have grown into such fine young men.”

Regulus felt tears sting his eyes because…he really hadn’t grown into a fine young man. He hadn’t grown into much of anything. He was still young, still a stupid child, inside, and now outside. He still had no clue what to do with himself. He wasn’t even quite sure he was redeemable.

“Oh, darling,” His grandmother’s voice was warm. “I think you’re doing just wonderfully,” she assured him, simply knowing what she’d been thinking. Perhaps it was a supernatural ability, but Regulus recalled Grandmother being able to read his mind even when he was younger.

Regulus pushed past the lump in his throat, and spoke up. “I…really miss you. I’m sorry I…that I couldn’t-”

He was enveloped in a hug, much to his own surprise. Regulus hadn’t been hugged since he was sixteen. He was also taller than his grandmother now, which felt wrong.

“Don’t be sorry, darling,” she said, reaching up and softly tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. “I’m very proud of you.”

At that, something broke inside of Regulus, but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. The tears were falling fast down his cheeks.

“So proud of you, Regulus, do you understand?” she asked. Regulus nodded, a sob escaping him.

She let go of him, and stepped back. She looked between the two boys, and took a deep breath, seeming to relish in looking at them, and Regulus knew this was goodbye.

“I’ve missed you boys,” she said, meeting both their eyes, one after the other. “And I love you more than you can ever know.”

Regulus nodded, not letting himself shed anymore tears. Then she seemed to…dissolve into the air.

Regulus had felt so sure of himself when she was here. But now that she’d left, everything seemed that much more unachievable. Regulus’ relationship with his grandmother was always…simple. There were no complexities, like with other family members, it wasn’t multifaceted to the point of becoming a fractal. It was honest, Regulus could tell her anything.

Sometimes he wondered if it might have been youthful naivety on his part. Maybe he’d have stopped trusting her sometime after age thirteen, and he simply never found out.

He definitely changed a lot after she’d died. Of course, in hindsight, it might have been the loss of a confidant in his family that led to the change in the first place.

Regulus ultimately supposed he couldn’t logic his way to a conclusion on such a topic.

“What should we do with it?” Sirius asked after they’d both let their thoughts steep awhile.

Regulus shrugged. “Bury it? Chuck it in the ocean?”

He heard a noise over his shoulder, and turned. Everyone else was heading their way, having clearly grown impatient. And not a moment too late. Regulus couldn’t imagine having anyone apart from Sirius there when talking to Grandmother Melania.

He heard Pandora’s oh-so-familiar laugh over their chatter, her blonde curls bouncing as she tossed her head back slightly, her face lit up in the glow of six wand tips.

“Oh,” Regulus muttered to himself. “Of course.”

“Of course what?” Sirius asked.

“Give it to Pandora.”

“Give her what?” Sirius asked.

“The stone, of course. That’s Unspeakable worthy magic right there.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds best.”

“Oi!” James called. “Did we do it?” The rest of the group clumped around him quieted.

“Yes,” Regulus answered, grinning triumphantly as his thoughts turned back to the night’s victory.

The six of them let out loud cheers, and rushed to where the boys were standing over the ashes. Regulus saw Sirius pocket the ring, mouthing ‘later.’ Regulus nodded. He could slow down, take it one thing at a time, at least for the rest of the evening.

Right now, they were all celebrating; jumping around and cheering. Sirius pulled Remus into a hug. James wrapped his arms around Lily’s waist and lifted her off the ground. Frank kissed Alice on the cheek, as she opened the firewhiskey.

“Who needs a drink?” Another collective cheer went up.

Sirius conjured glasses to pass around, and Regulus noticed a look pass between Lily and Pandora. Pandora noticed him looking, and nodded at everyone else, rolling her eyes.

Regulus laughed. The three of them, soon to become the only ones capable of intelligent speech (at least by Regulus’ standards, which were already quite high), spent the night talking of anything and everything, and laughing at the company they kept.

Chapter Text

February 23, 1981
Number Twelve Grimmauld Place
8:15 AM

Kreacher was very good at remaining hidden. He flattened his back against the wall when he heard someone coming through the floo. Kreacher knew he should send the person away. Mistress had retired to her room with a migraine after breakfast, and wouldn’t want to be bothered. When he heard the gratingly familiar high pitched voice, he was less inclined to speak with her at all. But he did want her out of his house.

“Aunt Walburga!” she called loudly. Kreacher frowned at the disrespect, and entered into the parlor.

“Miss Bellatrix! It is lovely to be seeing you,” Kreacher greeted. Bellatrix was never the sort to care whether or not he was being sincere, but Kreacher put on a falsely sweet tone all the same.

“Where’s Aunt Walburga?” Bellatrix demanded.

“Mistress is upstairs, but Mistress is feeling under the weather. Can Kreacher get Miss Bellatrix some tea?” Kreacher offered, hoping she wouldn’t take him up on it.

Instead Bellatrix huffed, and walked past him. Bellatrix had always been rude, but had never shown such blatant disrespect for Mistress Walburga. The two women had always had an understanding–they were the type to have tea together, while discussing anything but polite tea conversation. And neither of them ever seemed to realize Kreacher was listening.

“Miss Bellatrix, Kreacher insists that you do not bother Mistress Walburga-”

“Get out of my way, you useless elf!” Bellatrix shouted. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, and walked up the stairs even quicker. Kreacher had barely caught up when Bellatrix began banging on the door to the master bedroom.

Kreacher cringed, knowing he’d be blamed for this. He steeled himself for what Mistress would do to him as the door opened.

“What in Circe’s name do you want, Bellatrix?” Mistress Walburga demanded. Her eyes were wild, and her hair was messed up, with stray locks sticking out, making her look positively mad.

“Something happened to the artefact the Dark Lord gave me, because I put it in your vault,” Bellatrix accused.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Bellatrix,” Mistress snapped. “Nobody could have touched that vault, I’d have been informed if it were broken into.”

“Well, someone took what he gave me, and they destroyed it!”

Mistress Walburga looked down her nose at her niece. “How could you possibly be certain of that if you don’t even know-”

“The Dark Lord knows all.” Kreacher recognized a poor move when he saw one. Mistress was enraged at having been interrupted. “It’s been destroyed, he told me this morning. He felt it happen.”

To Kreacher’s surprise, the fire behind his mistress’ eyes dimmed at that, and was replaced with intrigue. “He felt it?” she repeated. “What sort of connection does he have to this artefact?”

Bellatrix huffed. “It’s not my place to question him. I need a list of everyone who has access to that vault.”

Mistress Walburga gave a slight smile. Kreacher knew that that meant danger, but perhaps Bellatrix was too self-assured to realize. “Certainly. I believe Regulus was in charge of that before his…untimely death.” Usually Master Regulus’ death was a taboo subject in Grimmauld Place. Kreacher couldn’t help but wonder if his mistress was spinning a trap for Bellatrix. Whatever it was, Kreacher couldn't see it yet.

He wasn’t as clueless as Bellatrix, though, who said: “Tragic. He may have been sentimental, but Regulus could have done great things.”

“Yes,” Mistress agreed, and then gave a wistful sigh. “But everyone dies, Bellatrix. I’m sure even the Dark Lord will one day leave us.” There was a calculating look in her eyes. She was digging for information. Kreacher realized with a start that Mistress had arrived at the same conclusion as Master Regulus.

Bellatrix just laughed. “Oh, I doubt it. The Dark Lord says he alone has achieved immortality. He is one of a kind, he is stronger than any wizard-”

“Interesting,” Mistress interjected, coldly cutting off her niece, now that she had the confirmation she’d wanted. “Is that all you needed of me, Bellatrix?”

“No,” Bellatrix snapped. “I need to know who broke into the vault!”

“Rest assured, Bellatrix, someone would be alerted if the vault was broken into. It must have been removed by someone with vault access.”

Bellatrix frowned. “But who could that be? Nobody in the family opposes the Dark Lord.”

Mistress Walburga frowned, furrowing her brow, though Kreacher knew she was only pretending to be puzzled. Mistress knew. Kreacher had to warn Master Regulus.

“I suppose you’re right. Odd.” Then, as if the thought were only just occurring to her: “Although, access isn’t exclusive to the family, I suppose.”

“What?” Bellatrix demanded.

Mistress nodded. “Certainly. If a Lord wished, they could write anyone into the will. It’s not traditionally done, though, but…”

“But…?” Bellatrix urged. She was growing impatient.

“But you said yourself that you found my son to be sentimental.” Her words sounded casual, but were anything but. Mistress had just pointed Bellatrix in the exact right direction. Kreacher needed to do something, and quickly. “I really must retire now, Bellatrix, I’ve been feeling quite under the weather lately.”

She shut the bedroom door, and Bellatrix’s face lit up with understanding, before she set off, heading downstairs. Kreacher waited, listening. When he heard her go through the floo, he instantly disapparated. Kreacher didn’t much care for The Blood Traitor, but his Master did. He had to warn Master Regulus.

Chapter Text

February 24, 1981
The Potter’s House
8:16 AM

Remus Lupin was never drinking again. He had a splitting headache that only got worse with every second. Harry was crying. He also spent the previous night sleeping on the floor, and his back was leading him to regret it.

He was now at the kitchen table, drinking coffee like his life depended on it. Lily was attempting to introduce the concept of a spoon to Harry, who seemed to think it was quite the downgrade from bottles.

“Someone turn the baby off,” Sirius groaned, entering the room. Regulus laughed at him, much too loudly for Remus’ tastes.

“Right away, your highness,” Lily snapped back.

“Merlin, why is everything so loud?”

“You’re hungover,” Regulus answered. Lily laughed.

Sirius scoffed. “Duh. And why aren’t you two?”

“I have an incredibly high alcohol tolerance,” Regulus answered, smirking slightly. Remus chuckled to himself.

“I didn’t drink,” Lily told him. “Someone had to be responsible for getting you lot home.”

James came into the kitchen, hair a mess, and wearing a bathrobe over his jeans from last night, that he’d apparently slept in. It was certainly a fashion statement.

“Morning, Remus,” he muttered. “Morning, Lil.” He leaned in to kiss Lily, who cut the kiss short to shove a jar of baby food at him.

“Here. Your son isn’t eating.”

James frowned. He pulled the spoon out to sniff at whatever green mush Harry was supposed to eat. “What is this?”

“Mashed pears,” Lily answered. She gestured at the kitchen table. “You feed him, I’ll feed this lot.”
“Something greasy,” Sirius requested, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting at the table.

James looked up from where Harry was refusing to eat the pears. “Are we really feeding our son this crap? It smells awful.”

“It’s good for him, James.” James rolled his eyes, and attempted to give Harry a spoonful of pears, which Harry refused, whining louder. Lily sighed heavily.

Regulus was smirking at Sirius, who was groaning into his coffee cup, and mumbling something about how he thought Regulus should shut up, because it’s not even funny. Meanwhile James and Lily were in a hushed, but perhaps slightly heated conversation.

“He’s really not eating, maybe we should just get a bottle?” James suggested.

“No, we can’t,” Lily insisted, her voice sounded tense, and she was messing with her hair: a habit of James’ that she’d picked up. “He’s getting to be too old, I’d rather just get him started on solids sooner. It’ll make things easier.”

“It’s far from easy, Lil, he’s making a mess,” James countered, his voice slightly louder.

Lily sighed. Heavily. “Yes, I know, but I’d rather we start transitioning him to solids now, because once there’s two of them, it’ll be that much more-”

“Two of what?” Sirius asked, interrupting, perhaps unintentionally.

Remus’ eyes widened as it sank in, and Regulus seemed to be a tad unsure.

Lily winced, realizing what she’d said. “Um…” James offered. “Surprise?”

“I’m pregnant,” Lily said, excitement taking over her face as she said it. “We were gonna wait a bit longer to tell everyone, but…” she shrugged, still grinning.

James was smiling broadly, and he put an arm around Lily’s shoulders. Sirius seemed to be positively mystified at the idea, his face stuck in a shocked expression as he let out a loud cheer, causing a good few people to wince. Him and Remus both stood up to hug Lily and James and offer congratulations. Regulus was smiling, a startled look in his eyes.

If Remus had thought about it only months ago, perhaps he would have been against it. Having a baby during a war. Now, however, he couldn’t bring himself to see the negatives

Perhaps it was last night’s destruction of the horcruxes, maybe it was knowing how close they are to ending it all. But maybe it was the way James and Lily beamed when they said it. There were wide smiles on their faces, as if everything would turn out fine, somehow. So, Remus wasn’t sure one way or the other which it was. It simply seemed right for them.

The celebration of the moment was cut short when there was a loud crack.

Sirius Black flinched at the familiar sound of elf apparition, seeing Kreacher standing in the middle of the kitchen.

“Kreacher?” Regulus asked, his demeanor shifting to one of concern. “Is something wrong?”

Kreacher nodded emphatically. “Miss Bellatrix came to the house, and Kreacher is telling her not to bother Mistress. But she is saying that…” Kreacher looked around the room uncertainly, and lowered his voice. “That the Dark Lord is angry. He knows that you destroyed his…his things.” Kreacher gave Regulus a meaningful look.

Regulus nodded. “It’s okay, Kreacher, they all know. We did it together last night.”

Kreacher’s usual scowl deepened, and he began muttering. “Master Regulus should be telling Kreacher when he is doing dangerous things.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. “Um, I’m sorry, Kreacher.” He seemed a bit unsure of how to respond to Kreacher's…concern? Sirius thought it might be concern.

“You were saying something about Bellatrix?” Sirius asked, hoping they’d get back on track.

Kreacher nodded, but continued talking exclusively to Regulus. “Mistress knows what the Dark Lord has made, but she was not telling Miss Bellatrix, but…” Kreacher paused, wringing his hands. “Master Regulus will not like this…”

“It’s okay, Kreacher,” Regulus assured, taking a kneeling position, eye level with the elf. “What is it?”

“The Blood Traitor is in danger.” Sirius froze. He knew enough to know that that meant him. Regulus turned to look at him, and they just stared at each other. “Miss Bellatrix knows he stole the horcrux,” Kreacher continued. “Kreacher had to warn Master Reglus.”

“Thank you, Kreacher,” Regulus muttered, detached.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Sirius said. Partly trying to convince himself. His heart was beating just a bit faster now. “We knew this might happen. But we’ve destroyed them all already.” Sirius looked around at all his friends gathered in the Potter’s kitchen. “We can do this, right guys? We just need a plan.”

Suddenly, through the backdoor came a large, silvery blue cheetah. Several people started, and Regulus and Sirius exchanged a look. Bellatrix.

She must have a message for him, then.

Sure enough, the large cat opened its mouth, and when it spoke, it was the intense, calculating tones of his cousin.

“The Dark Lord knows what you’ve done, don’t think you can get away with this. The family manor, tonight at sundown. Come alone. Fail to comply, and we come for Potter.”

The mist dissipated, and Sirius turned to James. “Mate, I-”

“It’s not your fault,” James assured, interrupting.

Regulus cleared his throat. “I think this could be exactly what we need, actually.” That earned him several affronted looks. “He’s finally mortal, and he wants to meet us face to face.”

Sirius nodded. “I…I suppose you’re right. I’ll go, then.”

“We’ll all go,” James corrected.

“What?” Sirius asked. He shook his head. “No, I’m not letting you risk that. It’s too dangerous.” He looked to Regulus for confirmation, who shook his head. “What?”

“Well, I’m coming either way, danger’s not a factor,” Regulus began. The comment was still odd, but Sirius tried not to dwell on it. “But really, Sirius, you can’t just not bring back-up.”

“She said-”

“They’d be in danger even if she hadn’t told you to come alone. Besides, you should know better than to do what Bellatrix tells you.”

Sirius sighed, nodding reluctantly. “Fine, you’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Sirius replied. Then he asked: “Why do you think she picked the manor?”

Regulus smirked. “She thinks you won’t want to go there. Or that being back there will mess with your head. She has no idea we were there last night, let alone for weeks before.”

James grinned. “What’s that they say about home pitch advantage?”

Chapter Text

February 24, 1981
Black Manor
5:18 PM

Regulus Black watched the sun dipping down over the small hill they were near. They stood in silence, wondering when their adversaries would show.

By ‘they’ Regulus meant, well, just about everyone who’d been in this from the start. Remus, Sirius, the Potters, and himself.

James and Lily were in attendance thanks to Kreacher who was taking care of Harry for the evening. Sirius had tried to talk James out of it, but James insisted that Sirius himself had turned out just fine. Regulus, as a gesture of good will, and an expression of his faith in Kreacher, refrained from contesting the point, although it was quite tempting.

Frank and Alice weren’t present, having been called into the auror offices for something urgent. Regulus hoped at the very least–and he would rather it not get to this point–that they’d be able to get suitable back-up, should the need arise.

Trails of red spread across the sky as the sun set. They’d be here any moment, and then…

“What are you thinking?” Sirius asked.

Regulus took what would have been a deep breath, and turned around. “We’re so close.”

Sirius nodded. “It’s terrifying,” he commented. Regulus laughed to himself. It was funny, for some odd reason. “Are you sure I can do it?” Sirius asked.

“What?” Regulus asked. “Don’t be ridiculous, Sirius, of course you can.”

“I’ve never even used this spell before,” he confessed. Well, it wasn’t exactly a confession–Regulus had been pretty certain it was common knowledge–but Sirius whispered it as if it were.

“It’s not exactly a spell you can botch,” Regulus commented, hoping it sounded reassuring. “You either do it, or you don’t.”

Sirius frowned. “Yes, well, it’s the ‘don’t’ part that I’m worried about.”

“Right,” Regulus agreed. “Well, you have to…really mean it, and-”

“I’m not asking for advice, Reg, I just-” Sirius stopped mid sentence, sighing. “I just don’t want you to put too much faith in me.”

“Sirius-”

Several yards away from them, he appeared. Regulus tensed. The Dark Lord was here.

Sirius Black tightened his grip on his wand when he saw him. Voldemort had apparated to the field. Alone, it seemed. Where was Bellatrix?

“Sirius Black,” the man said, grinning. “You brought reinforcements?” he asked. “I believe I told you not to.”

Sirius struggled for a response from his shock, when one clicked into place in his mind. “My cousinif you will?”

“You insolent boy!” Voldemort shouted. “Of course you’re behind this, there’s no way these fools could have done it on their own,” he jeered, waving a calculating arm at Sirius, Remus, and the Potters.

Regulus shrugged. “I wouldn’t say that. I think you’d have learned a lesson by now about who you underestimate, Tom.” Sirius realized then that Regulus was no longer scared of his old master. He was dead, he was safe from the wrath.

“How dare you!” Voldemort demanded. “You’re quite cocky all of a sudden, Black.” His calculating eyes scanned the four of them, before aiming a wand at James. “Crucio!”

James crumpled, letting out an animalistic scream at the pain.

“James!” Sirius gasped, watching in horror.

“No!” Regulus shouted. Voldemort laughed, high and cold. “Stop it!” Regulus demanded.

With a laugh, Voldemort released James. “You’ll never be free of my control, Black. Not when you can’t even free yourself from affection,” he said, spitting out the word as if it were poison on his tongue.

Remus reached out a hand, helping James to his feet. Sirius’ eyes narrowed, and he focused only on Voldemort, who scoffed, “Pathetic.”

Sirius held his wand tightly, raising it so it was right in front of him, an extension of his arm. He pointed it at Voldemort, who didn’t so much as bat an eye. He felt the man–or what was left of one–staring at him. Sirius felt a dull throb from behind his forehead. Legilimency, and he wasn’t even attempting to be discreet about it.

Sirius grit his teeth, and forced the unwelcome presence from his mind. He could do it. He needed this to be done. He needed everyone he loved to be safe. He wanted this man gone.

“Too righteous to cast it, are you?” Voldemort asked, his tone lilting cruelly. “That is nothing but fear, boy, and you are weaker for it.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Lily said. “Just try to tune him out.” Sirius nodded, but of course, it was easier said than done.

Sirius took a shallow breath, and focused.

He’d do it. He needed to do it. He…he wanted to do it.

And he didn’t really like hearing the words in his own voice, but he didn’t trust himself to cast it nonverbally.

He didn’t even trust himself to whisper it, so loudly, he pronounced: “Avada kedavra!” And the jet of green light connected.

Voldemort fell like a marionette with the strings cut.

Chapter Text

February 24, 1981
Black Manor
5:25 PM

Sirius Black…had done it. He took a tentative step forward, and saw the body simply lying there, just like any other body.

“Merlin,” he heard Remus whisper.

“You did it,” Regulus said. He sounded distant, like he was in shock, but not necessarily surprised at Sirius.

“What should we do?” James asked. “Should we contact the Ministry, or…something?”

“The Aurors are a bit busy at the moment,” a high, lilting voice said. Sirius felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he realized he’d been wrong earlier. Bellatrix was here, or at least, she was now. He turned around, standing just in front of Regulus. He looked up to see his cousin atop one of the hills, outlined in the deep orange sky. “The Malfoy heiress just turned in a wanted Death Eater, it’s quite the scandal.” She was grinning as she descended the hill. “Traitor to some vigilante group, too, all very fascinating, but I like to be where the action is, you see.”

“You turned in Peter?” Sirius demanded.

“Narcissa did it, do keep up, Sirius.”

“Why?” Remus asked.

Bellatrix scoffed, as if she couldn’t believe Remus was even speaking to her. “He’s served his purpose. We couldn’t have the aurors paying any mind to what was happening here tonight.”

Bellatrix seemed oddly confident, and that’s when it hit Sirius. She hadn’t seen the body.

“You just turned him in?” James asked. “Just like that.”

“He sold us out,” Sirius commented. Peter wasn’t worth worrying about, not as much as James seemed to think, at least. “Why would they care? They were never his real friends, and he should have known that.”

“Yes, well, this has been a lovely chat, Sirius, but you’re not the one I came here for.”

“He’s dead, Bellatrix,” Regulus said.

“What?” Bellatrix demanded. Sirius stepped to the side, and she had a clear view of the body. “What?” she repeated. “How? He- He was…and you,” she turned to Regulus. “I thought we were rid of you! But you’re a bigger turncoat than I thought!”

“Perhaps I am,” Regulus replied.

Bellatrix pointed her wand right at Regulus’ heart, and shouted: “Crucio!”

On a whim, Sirius stepped in front of his brother, taking the curse.

White hot pins and needles on every inch of his skin. His muscles were being squeezed dangerously tight, and he couldn’t stand anymore. He barely felt himself hit the ground, overwhelmed by every other sensation of pain. He had a throbbing headache, and everything was sore, and burning, and being sliced.

And someone was screaming, and maybe it was him or maybe it was Regulus. And a laugh. Mother’s laugh- No. Bellatrix’s laugh. He wasn’t a child, he wasn’t at Grimmauld.

Then it stopped. Sirius opened his eyes, to see Bellatrix toppling forward.

And behind her, with an extended wand, was Alice Longbottom.

Sirius stood up carefully, taking James’ hand. “You okay, mate?” James asked. Sirius nodded.

“What did you do that for?” Regulus asked, his voice tight. “Do you realize how foolish that was?”

It wasn’t until then that Sirius remembered: Regulus would have been fine. The spell wouldn’t have done him any damage. “I guess I just…didn’t think about it.”

“Clearly,” Regulus remarked. Then he met Sirius’ eyes. “But…thank you, nonetheless.”

Sirius gave him a thin smile, and began making his way towards Alice.. “Anytime.”

“No, not ‘anytime!’” Regulus scolded, following. “I can appreciate the sentiment this time, but never do it again.”

“It doesn’t look like we’ll have to worry about that much more,” Sirius said.

“He’s right,” Alice interjected, as she approached them. Everyone bunched up around Bellatrix’s body, staring at it. “Taking out Voldemort was the first step, of course, the rest of them are crumbling. Peter’s giving Frank and Moody names as we speak, and I’m sure they’ll all sell each other out in the hope of being pardoned.”

“So…that’s it then?” Lily asked.

Regulus nodded. “They’re all too self-important to simply choose one of their own as a leader. That’s why the Dark- well, Riddle, was so successful. No one knew who he was, he was powerful, and mysterious. Not to mention the legilimency. But following another pureblood family? That would be akin to admitting that their name is lesser.”

“Precisely,” Alice agreed. “I’ll contact some aurors to take care of these bodies, you’re all free to leave.”

The five of them looked at each other. “Our place?” Lily offered.

They all nodded in agreement, and James suggested: “Breakfast for dinner?”

Regulus Black, ironically enough, had never felt so alive. Perhaps that was rather sentimental of him. Walking across the sprawling field of Black Manor with his friends, all laughing, and rejoicing in their success. Regulus felt lighter, and real, and he was smiling without even thinking about it. It was dusk, and the sky was a beautiful color.

“You seem happy,” Sirius commented.

“Yes,” Regulus agreed. “What about it?”

“Nothing about it,” Sirius said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m just glad you are.”

“Is it nice to have done it?” Remus asked. “The unfinished business, I mean.”

Regulus bit his lip, thinking. “Well, I- I talked to Lady Helena a while ago, and she told me–and I didn’t believe her then, but she told me that…my unfinished business didn’t have anything to do with him. Or horcruxes, or the war.”

“Really?” Lily asked.

Regulus shook his head. “Nope. It’s never anything you can be done with. You more or less just…carry it out forever.”

“So what’s yours, then?” Sirius asked.

Regulus shrugged. “I guess just…being eighteen.”

Chapter Text

April 19, 1981
Black Manor
11:00 AM

Regulus Black looked around at where they’d landed. “I thought we were going to James and Lily’s?”

“Sure we are,” Sirius said simply. “Later."

Regulus rolled his eyes at the vague answer. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect you would want to step on this property anymore than you had to.” Sirius laughed, but didn’t say anything. “Are you going to tell me what we’re doing here?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Regulus sighed. “Is this about my birthday? Sirius, I don’t think I can even celebrate my birthday anymore.”

“That’s just an excuse,” Sirius commented. “Because you hate attention, and you think I’ll embarrass you.” Which, to be fair, was true. “You didn’t celebrate your death day, either.”

“And?” Regulus asked.

“And you have to celebrate at least one of them,” Sirius explained, as if he were stating the obvious.

“Who says?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Regulus asked, because he couldn’t help but notice they were headed towards the garden.

“It’s a surprise, Regulus.”

They came closer to the garden, and Regulus was able to get a better look at it.

He stopped moving forward and took in a sharp gasp.

"Surprise," Sirius said, and although he was a few steps ahead, and facing forward, Regulus could hear the grin that was on his face.

Regulus was at a loss for words. "I- You-"

Sirius laughed lightly. "C'mon, let's go a bit closer."

As they approached, the bits of greenery became clearer, and Regulus could see the budding plants, and more distinctive signs of life.

"I- How? When?" he asked, looking at Sirius, confused, but of course, beaming.

His brother shrugged. "I've been coming on and off to plant some things. Kreacher got a few of the family elves to help. I know Grandmother preferred to do it herself, but I don't quite have her skill. Lucky you have a spring birthday, huh?"

Regulus turned in a slow circle taking it all in. Everything in the garden was alive again, and growing. The wind rustled the plants ever-so-gently. "Sirius...it's beautiful. Truly." It was almost like the garden he’d seen in December, but different. Better, maybe.

"Most of the flowers haven't sprouted yet, unfortunately. Timing and all, but-"

"No," Regulus interrupted. "It's perfect!"

Sirius grinned sheepishly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "Yeah?"

"Yes. Merlin, this is wonderful."

"I'm glad. It seemed like a good idea, but then I wondered if I was...crossing a line, I guess. I mean, I'd already started by then, and I was pretty sure you'd like it-"

"I love it."

Sirius gave a satisfied nod. "Good. I'm glad."

They stayed awhile, enjoying the garden and the weather, talking of everything and nothing.