Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Reality starts to seep into Jeongguk as the man drifts back into consciousness, floods of light spilling into his vision the second his eyes flutter open. He lets out a quiet groan, shifting to ease the growing discomfort of his body that currently felt like it was just one flimsy thread away from just breaking in half. That’s when he registers the heavy limb on him, and memories of the previous night flashing through his brain like images on a slideshow, disgust creeping up his veins. He just pushes the arm off, and thankfully, the man next to him seems to be a heavy sleeper, not moving an inch as Jeongguk makes the withdrawal from the warm confines of the bed. 

It took the brunette no time to figure out which door led to the bathroom. He’s quick to start the shower at the highest temperature possible, already wanting to burn every inch of his skin off- just like he desires every single time. 

Jeongguk didn’t like this. He didn’t like waking up in a different bed every night. He didn’t like the nasty, ravenous looks older men gave him when they saw him on the streets. He didn’t like how they waved their money suggestively, an invisible rope tugging the brunette’s body towards the tacky pieces of paper. 

But he had to pretend that he liked it, loved it even. He had to pretend, because his life depended on it- on the money.  

It wasn’t like he could just go out and get a proper job, not when his home address was currently the streets of Seoul, when his bed was whatever looked comfortable enough in the dark alleyways. Not when his showers depended on whether his siren calls worked that night, luring in a man deprived of affection in his shitty marriage. Not when whether or not he was going to eat the next day depended on how well he could use his mouth the night before. 

He needed to pretend so that he could live , even with the constant lingering question in the back of his mind- what was he living for , exactly? 

Because when Jeongguk takes one look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, at the dark bags under his eyes, at the way his cheeks had sunken in to the point where he looked like a walking corpse, at the way his collar bone protruded from his skin so much that it looked like it would burst of his skin at any second, he has to ask himself- was he really even living at this point?

He was surviving, at most. That was it. He hadn’t lived in months, years. He couldn’t remember the last time his eyes didn’t look so dull. Or the last time his smile caused crinkles in his skin and indentations in his cheeks. Or the last time his laughter didn’t sound like a broken, discordant piano. Or the last time he felt truly happy.

The only sense of living Jeongguk felt was when he stood under the scorching hot water of the shower, letting the piercing sensation numb him. He lets the water wash over him, not even recoiling a mere centimeter when the fiery heat makes contact with his fresh cuts. They’re tender, the raised skin a dull red as they begin to heal. He wishes he brought his backpack in, his fingers itching for the small metal rectangle to be in his grasp again. He craves it- needs the pain and the comfort to distract him from his thoughts. Needs the bright red to coat his skin, to take his eyes off the milky pale color his skin has turned to. Needs the sting on the outside to take his attention away from the sting on the inside, the constant reminder that he was alive, and had feelings, emotions that he didn’t want. 

But he doesn’t want to waste any more time than he’s already had, so he washes up, being mindful with the products he used. And once he’s clean, no longer feeling the phantom touches of the man from the night before, the water’s off, his body chilling with the exposure to the frosty air of the room. He dries himself off with yesterday’s shirt, and puts on the cleanest clothes he currently had in his backpack, which wasn’t the grandest of outfits- a black v-neck, fitted with jeans that hugged his ass just right, perfect for attracting the roaming eyes of his next free bed. He double checks that everything’s in his bag, and kisses the top of Gureum’s- his stuffed, white dog- head, and pockets the money the man left on the nightstand for him. Jeongguk tiptoes out of the room, and finds his jacket laid on the couch where the two had carelessly thrown it the prior evening, and tugs it on, the comfort of his favorite jacket on his body nulling some of the rising anxiety he’s always felt at all times. He finds his worn out combat boots by the door, and after tying them on, he’s out, breathing out a sigh of relief once he’s a few blocks down.

The sun’s just starting to rise when he leaves, so he stops for a moment, watching the spills and splashes of colors merge together as the sun comes out to greet the lively residents of Seoul with absolute awe in his eyes. 

This was why he lived, and as minor as it seemed- he didn’t care. It was the small reasons, these smell the roses moments that kept him going, hoping for a better future. 

It was the sunrises. The sunsets. The sound of a baby laughing. The way a dog’s tail practically vibrated when it was excited. These moments when the sky has just the right amount of soft white with that beautiful blue backdrop. The sound of heavy rain on the roof. The heat of a steaming bowl of ramyun. The smell of freshly brewed coffee ( even though he hates drinking it! ) in his favorite cafe. 

At the thought of the cafe, Jeongguk quickly pulls out the new wad of cash, counting it and smiles to himself. He could treat himself to a steaming hot cup of tea. (And a chance to see the cute barista who worked there, but he wasn’t about to admit that to himself.)

He’s familiar with the way to the city, hardly calling it a walk of shame at this point. It’s more of a walk of realization. A walk of reassurance. A walk of hope .

He walks the familiar street, recognizing the walls of colors and signs of neon serving as a backdrop for the restless troupe of the city. In the midst of all the chaos, a small, rustic brick building sat, nestled in between two larger, modern ones. Jeongguk makes his way inside, instantly greeted with the warm aroma of coffee and fresh pastries. 

There he is, in all his glory- Seokjin , the handwritten name tag says. Jeongguk’s a frequent customer, about as frequent he could be with the limited amount of money he has. Even with his frequency, the older man is always greeting him with a tender smile every time, claiming the familiarity of the warm, doe eyes and the bunny teeth smile is always a bright part of his day. They don’t even know each other that well, only really crossing paths whenever Jeongguk comes to get his favorite, inexpensive cup of tea- but that doesn’t stop Jeongguk from being Seokjin’s favorite customer, his order ready before he even makes it to the counter. 

After a while of short conversations and shared smiles and “accidental” eye contact, Jeongguk started to convince himself that he’s letting his little crush get to his head too much, and that Seokjin’s just doing his job when he’s friendly to the younger. But he still lets himself dream anyways, seeing no harm in allowing a little light to shine in the deep, dark tunnels of his mind. It’s a flashlight at best, but a light regardless that leads away the endless trains of thoughts that keeps Jeongguk up at night. 

“Jeonggukah! Your usual?” Seokjin smiles, and before Jeongguk could even control himself his cheeks blushed a dusty rose, tongue fumbling over his words as he said “ yes, Seokjin-ssi.” The barista shoots him an endeared grin, and he pours the steaming concoction into a cup, already sliding it over with exercised precision before the brunette is even handing over the cash. 

“Come again soon!” The barista’s smile is still as warm as ever, and Jeongguk has to fight the urge to giggle, a giddy feeling floating from his stomach through his heart straight to his brain. Even as he sits in his usual corner of the small cafe, he still doesn’t take his eye off  Seokjin. He knows, realistically, he has no chance- honestly, who wants to date him? 

But he lets himself dream. He lets himself have false hope and fake realities, lets his imagination run wild to cope with the thoughts that constantly trapped him in a box, the voice that persistently drove him to near hysteria as he relied on self inflicted pain to hold onto his sanity by fingertips.

So as he sipped his tea and watched the busy blurs of people on the streets, he let his mind drift off. He allows his fantasies to play out, and put his thoughts at bay. He lets himself think, dream, believe.

And by the time he snaps back to reality, his tea’s long gone, heart and mind fully content and warm, ready to tackle another round of surviving. 

Cause that’s all life was- a game. And each day was a round, a test to see if Jeongguk could win another one. Sometimes Jeongguk wants to give up and lose, to see the glory of the game over status marked next to his life. Sometimes Jeongguk wants to not make it to the next round, to stop playing entirely. 

But despite his wants, he still plays the game. He makes it to the next round. And he celebrates the little victories because if he didn’t, what was there to celebrate?

He leaves the cafe feeling refreshed, the promise to come back as soon as he has more money still at the forefront of his mind. 

But he never fulfills that promise. 

Over the next few weeks, the air grows colder. The clusters of footprints on the snow-laden streets became far and few in between, life slowly dwindling down as the gelidity of the visiting winter settled down in the city.

It grew harder for Jeongguk to scrape by, the brunette forced to camp by restaurants and wait for dumpsters to be filled with the aftermaths of their busy days. His worn out down coat and hoodie barely brings any warmth to his body, fingers constantly numb and frozen to the touch, even when he desperately tries to warm them up with the heat of his breath. He’s grown used to the constant shivering and chattering of his teeth, to the misty appearance of his hot breath in the cold air. 

But the one thing Jeongguk prides himself on is his body’s ability to fight off infections and sickness like they were skinny, lanky teenagers up against the high school jock of Jeongguk’s body. He surprises himself sometimes with how easily he curbs illnesses. He figures it must have something to do with his life on the streets, his body steadily building immunity to the silently deadly world. 

That’s why it shocks Jeongguk when he gets sick, if the telltale signs of his scratchy throat and heated skin were any indication of his physical condition. His body grows weaker and weaker with each passing day, and most of the time he’s stationary, curled up under his blanket in the dark depths of an alleyway. The brunette supposed his weak state had to do with the harsh winter chill seeping deep into his bones, with the lack of food in his system, and the stress of finding a warm body for the night wearing down on his mind. Jeongguk’s eating less and less as time goes by, his last meal having been cup ramen in a convenience store four days ago. He eyes the change in his hand, and there’s only one thing that comes to his lethargic mind. 

So with all the strength he could muster, Jeongguk pushes himself onto his legs, nearly falling with just how little energy he had. He somehow manages to make his way to the cafe. He hadn’t been there in a while, his supply of cash slowly diminishing as he fed himself just enough to not starve, but he wanted to treat himself one last time, to see him one last time before he hopefully succumbed to the clutch of whatever sickness was combing through his veins. 

And right there, just like every single time he’s stepped into the cafe, is Seokjin, smiling as wide as ever, greeting each customer with warm eyes as he takes their orders. He makes the drinks with practiced ease, even sneaking in a trick or two to wow the little kids whose curious eyes peered over the countertop. Jeongguk’s immediately engulfed in the warmth of the shop, in the aroma of the bitter drink and fresh pastries, and he doesn’t feel so tense anymore.

When it’s Jeongguk’s turn to order, their eyes lock, and immediately, Seokjin’s eyes flood with concern. Jeongguk didn’t blame him- he looked sickly, his eyes drooping with bags dark and heavy underneath them. He hadn’t been able to shower, so his hair was practically a nest, messy and sticking up in directions that made it look like someone had rubbed a balloon all over his head. He looked smaller and skinnier, the results of being sick and not eating properly really taking a toll on his body. 

“Hey there… Haven’t seen you in a while, everything alright?” And Jeongguk wants to cry , because Seokjin’s voice is as soft as he looks, clad in a fluffy pink sweater, his wavy brown locks falling over his eyes, looking just as fluffy as his sweater. 

“Yeah.” Damn, was that his own voice? It sounded scratchy, hoarse from disuse. It’s clear Seokjin’s surprised at the sudden grittiness, if the way his eyebrows rose were any indication, but he doesn’t really say anything.

“I’ll get you that tea, yeah? Why don’t you take a seat, I’ll bring it to you.” His voice is gentle as ever, smile so tender Jeongguk wants to melt into the floor. But he drags himself away from the counter with a nod instead, finding his usual seat on shaky, dragging legs. Some of the other customers are looking at him weirdly, but he ignores them all, his head too fuzzy to even care about anything. Then, in the slow blink of an eye, there’s a cup in front of him, and a biscuit. He lifts his heavy head to see Seokjin, the barista looking at him with concern still. 

“Here. They’re both on the house,” Seokjin says before heading back.

The barista never takes his eyes off the brunette, even as he’s back behind the counter, body on autopilot when he carries out the rest of the shift. He grows even more concerned when the younger doesn’t even lift a finger, his eyes glazed and unfocused on the items in front of him. Seokjin wants to talk to him again, to see what’s wrong, to see why he looked so sick and on the edge of death, to see why Jeongguk had stopped coming for nearly six weeks now.

Logically, he knows that not everyone comes to the same spot a few times a week. Logically, he knows that people have lives outside of frequenting a cafe. Logically, he knows that. But there was something about Jeongguk, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. There was just something about the brunette that made his protective instincts kick in, that made his older brother mode go into full hard drive. He doesn’t know if it was the big, doe eyes that held so much, yet showed so little. He doesn’t know if it was the way that Jeongguk looked so young, yet looked as if he'd seen a lifetime of wars. 

He had been drawn to Jeongguk the minute he stepped foot inside the cafe. The teen looked a few years younger than Seokjin, yet the way he carried himself looked as if he had lived years longer. It wasn’t an attraction- it was more like a want, a need to take care of the other. Seokjin supposed it came with being an elder brother of two, and with being the eldest of his five boyfriends- yes, five boyfriends, all of whom he loved dearly- and constantly taking over a more dominant, caretaker role in any relationship he’s ever had, platonic or romantic. Seokjin couldn’t help it- there was just something about the satisfaction that he gets knowing he took care of someone, knowing that someone would willingly give up their control to him and just let him take care of them. Sometimes the satisfaction is sexual, like when his boyfriends let him have control in the bedroom- though if he’s being honest, he likes being controlled more. But sometimes the satisfaction is purely just a feeling of happiness, because he feels a sense of purpose and worth. 

That’s why when he saw the skinny, shy, curious doe eyed teenager step foot inside the busy cafe nearly eight months ago, he was hit with the sudden urge to take the teenager under his wing, to take care of him. But he pushed these thoughts, these feelings down, and instead, served his requested drink with a warm smile and tender eyes. 

When Jeongguk hadn’t shown up for nearly a month and a half, he started to worry. The brunette always came at least once a week, sometimes twice. But even with his growing concern, he did his job with ease, forcing himself not to spend half his day glancing at the entrance every time the little bell rang with each swing of the door. 

So when Jeongguk finally appeared, Seokjin couldn’t help the little lurch that his heart did into his stomach at the sight of the brunette. He was skinnier than he remembered, and his eyes looked like they were being held open by a mere tug of strings. He definitely looked like he was bound to fall at any minute, and was that dirt in his hair? 

Seokjin couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that loomed over him the rest of his shift, not being able to focus with the nearly unconscious teen mere feets away from him. He couldn’t help the prickling under his skin, the urge to help, to take care of Jeongguk burying itself in streams of thoughts at the front of his mind.

When his shift was over, he found himself walking over to Jeongguk, and that’s when he really took a good look at the teenager. His skin had a pale, yellow tint to it, lips uncharacteristically a shade of blue. He looked like his head was weighing him down, barely able to keep it up. 

“Jeonggukah? Are you alright?” He asks, voice soft and quiet compared to the loud chatter of the crowd behind him. Jeongguk makes no move, makes no sound to imply his recognition of the elder. 

“Jeonggukah?” Seokjin tries again, and that’s when Jeongguk’s head droops low, chin practically touching his chest. The barista’s looming feeling returns at full force, and he reaches a tentative hand out, fingers brushing just against the younger’s cheeks. He instantly recoils, Jeongguk’s skin burning to the touch, and he shakes the teen with a hand on his shoulder, his anxiety growing when the other doesn’t awaken.

“Jeonggukah?” Seokjin tries for a final time, and fuck it, he’s not waking up. So Seokjin just went with the first thought that popped into mind- he lifts Jeongguk up, feeling his heart sink when he registers just how light the brunette was in his arms, barely weighing more than a couple of textbooks. He notices the backpack perched against the table, and takes it, surprised at how easily he could support the unconscious teen with one arm. Sure, he’s strong, spending a lot of time at the gym mostly working on his strength and stamina, but he still shouldn’t be able to carry a full grown teenager with just one arm. 

Thankfully, people were too caught up in their own businesses to even spare a glance towards the fact that there’s a grown man carrying a small teenager, which, honestly, worried Seokjin- what would’ve happened if he left Jeongguk here? 

His head shakes with the ejection of that thought, not wanting to even consider any possibilities. Right now, his focus was on Jeongguk, and hopefully- getting him awake. It’s a blessing that his car wasn’t parked far, and his house wasn’t far either, so he makes it home in less than ten minutes, Jeongguk barely stirring once. Seokjin contemplated taking the younger to the hospital, but decided against it- what would happen if he left him there? Would they be able to take care of him? Would Jeongguk be able to afford the care? Wait, would anyone come looking for him? Does he even have a home?

Oh god, is he homeless?

Seokjin looks at the brunette with wide eyes. It would explain everything- the possibility that Jeongguk is homeless. Come to think of it, he’s only ever seen him in the same two shirts. He’s too skinny to be someone who eats on a daily basis, and Seokjin has never seen anyone come in with Jeongguk.

Fuck.

Before taking the teenager out of the passenger’s seat, Seokjin pressed a hand to his forehead. Yup, still burning the fuck up. With barely any effort he takes Jeongguk inside, the lack of noise telling him that he was the first one home out of all his boyfriends. This was great, he had plenty of time to focus on somehow waking Jeongguk up before thinking of how to tell his boyfriends that hey, I’m kind of attached to this kid and he passed out at my work and I think he’s really sick and probably homeless, so I brought him home to take care of him.  

Maybe not those exact words.

He lays Jeongguk on the couch, taking the other’s jacket off. When he squeezes the sleeves, he frowns. In the coming harsh winter, the jacket would’ve barely kept Jeongguk warm. Well, that explains why he got sick in the first place.

“Okay, he has a fever,” he starts mumbling to himself, “gotta bring that down first.” So he grabs a random bowl from the kitchen and a clean washcloth from the storage closet by the bathroom, filling the bowl with cold water and dunking the cloth into it. Jeongguk was still on the couch in the exact position he had left him, laid down on his back. Thoughts start to flood into his head at the sight of the still unconscious teenager.

Should I lay him on his side? What if he chokes? What if he throws up on himself? Okay Seokjin, chill. You’ve taken care of fucking Min Yoongi with pneumonia before, you can handle a sick teenager. He chuckles at the thought of his most stubborn boyfriend, a man who absolutely refused the care of Seokjin, even during a time where he could barely take a step without collapsing. 

Kneeling on the floor next to the couch, Seokjin takes the washcloth out of the bowl, wringing out the excess water. He presses the cool cloth to the brunette’s heated skin, dabbing gently all over his face and neck. Before long, Jeongguk starts to stir, and Seokjin’s instantly pressing the cloth with a bit more pressure on the back of his neck.

“Hmm, where am I?” Jeongguk’s words rolled on top of each other. It’s obvious he’s delirious and barely awake, with the way his tongue was thick and heavy in his words, and the way his eyes were barely more than slits on his face. 

“My house. I brought you home, Jeonggukah.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir,” Jeongguk slurred, “I’ll get right on it.” 

Before Seokjin could ask what Jeongguk was talking about, the brunette was sitting up, his hands falling down to the front of Seokjin’s jeans, fumbling to undo the button. The elder nearly yells, recoiling ten feet back, and the sudden jolt gets Jeongguk fully awake, wide eyes staring at the other in shock.

“Seokjin-ssi?” His voice is barely above a whisper, but Seokjin hears it in the quiet of his house, even with the pounding of his heart going to his ears. They’re staring at each other, eyes as wide as saucers at this point, chests heaving with the sudden pressure they’re both feeling deep down.

“Um,” Seokjin’s voice is shaky as he speaks up, “you’re burning up, still. Why don’t you take a bath? It’ll help. I’ll um, I’ll put out a fresh pair of clothes for you.” He ignores the lump forming in his throat, forcing the millions of questions spilling into his head out in favor of putting all his focus onto Jeongguk. He can see the flabbergasted teenager struggling to get up out of the corner of his eye, so he helps him stand without a word, guiding him to the bathroom, and then once he’s sure the bath is running and Jeongguk is coherent enough, he leaves the teenager to his own devices, making his way towards the three bedrooms that he and his five boyfriends shared. 

“Okay, who’s closest to Jeongguk in size?” Seokjin doesn’t know why he talks to himself out loud. Sometimes, it’s easier to collect his thoughts that way. Sometimes, he needs to voice one thought out in order for his brain to produce the next one. Sometimes, he just likes it. “Jiminie is probably the closest, so I’ll steal some pants from him. Fuck, might need some underwear too.” He’s mumbling, rummaging through drawer after drawer. “Maybe Yoongi has some spare ones- he wears the same three pairs anyway, he won’t notice one is missing. And I’ll just give him one of my hoodies, he’s gonna need the warmth.”

Once he gets the clothes, he knocks on the door, hearing a soft “come in” over the splashing of the water. He walks in with his hand over his eyes just for courtesy and the sake of Jeongguk’s comfort, digging in his muscle memory to map out the location of the counter, and he places the clothes on top.

“Here are some clothes. If you want me to wash yours, just let me know. It’s my turn to do the laundry anyways.” And with that, Seokjin leaves Jeongguk alone once again. 

Seokjin busies himself with making some soup for the younger, figuring it would be the best bet of getting some food and energy into Jeongguk. He cooks some lightly seasoned beef and cuts up some vegetables, adding them to the boiling pot of stock. He hears rustling behind him, and turns just in time to see Jeongguk collapse on the couch. 

“Whoa there,” his voice is gentle as he rushes over to the teenager. He presses his hand against the younger’s forehead, and he’s still hot, but there’s a noticeable improvement. The elder lets out a sigh of relief at that, and gets the washcloth out of the bowl, placing it across Jeongguk’s forehead after wringing the excess water off.

When he notices Jeongguk shivering, Seokjin goes to find a few blankets, and places them on the brunette’s body, feeling his heart melt at just how small Jeongguk looked engulfed in the mass of layers on him. He looked so young, too young to be facing the kind of life he was in. He couldn’t have been more than eighteen, could he? He definitely looked younger than Taehyung, that’s for sure.

He’d ask Jeongguk questions later. Right now, his main focus was on getting the teen healthy again. Seokjin goes into the elder residents’ bathroom, rummaging through the several unorganized cabinets for medicine of any sort before remembering- they had used all the medicine up when Namjoon got sick last month.

Fuck , he internally cursed. He couldn’t leave to go get more, he didn’t want to risk the possibility of Jeongguk freaking out because he woke up to an empty house, or worse, to five strangers who didn’t even know why there was a sick teenager on their couch. 

He decides to text Yoongi instead, knowing the second eldest would be the least likely to ask questions.

can u pick up some cold medicine and fever reducers on ur way home from work? thanks xx

Tucking his phone back in his pocket, he heads back to the kitchen, tasting the stew to make sure it was done simmering. It tasted perfect, so he prepares a bowl, and fixes a cup of tea as well. It wasn’t close to what the cafe serves, but it’ll do for now. 

With the bowl and cup in hand Seokjin makes his way back to the living room. Jeongguk’s eyes are closed, but he was awake, judging by how quickly he opened them with the dip of the couch. They closed just as fast as they opened though, and Jeongguk let out a soft groan, whimpering as he curled up underneath the swarm of blankets. Seokjin’s heart sank at the noise- he didn’t want the younger to be in any pain.

“What hurts, Ggukah?” Jeongguk points to his head, and Seokjin nods in understanding, setting the cup and the bowl on the table before making his way back to the bathroom. He finds some painkillers thankfully, and he heads back with two in hand.

“Here, these should help. It’s ibuprofen.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t move.

“Please. They’ll help with your pain, hun.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t open his eyes, but he lifts his head from where it was hiding under the covers, hand reaching out blindly. Seokjin puts the pills in his open hand, and Jeongguk immediately downs them, taking the water Seokjin had brought out earlier.

“I made you some stew as well. Will you eat?” He gets a small nod in return, and now Jeongguk is sitting up, body still trapped under the layers of blankets.

“Open your mouth, honey.” And if Seokjin sees the blush that creeps onto Jeongguk’s cheeks, he doesn’t say anything, just feeding spoonfuls of stew into Jeongguk’s open mouth. The teenager eventually opens his eyes, stealing timid glances at Seokjin as he eats. He was hoping Seokjin didn’t notice, but he does, shooting him small smiles every time they lock eyes. 

Jeongguk finishes the soup in no time, and Seokjin can see the glint in his eyes, notices the way his mouth opens and closes, almost as if he wanted to say something. Seokjin’s about to ask him to speak up when he notices the way the younger’s eyes flicker to the bowl.

“Do you want more, baby?” The affectionate name slips out, and Jeongguk looks at him with wide eyes, and oh , Seokjin’s heart skips a beat. The doe brown eyes sparkled and shone brightly, even under the dim lighting of the lamp next to them. His long, unkempt fringe fell over his eyes as he nodded, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His cheeks are flushed red, most likely from the fever, but Seokjin could just tell the name had an effect on him. He smiles, already planning to use the name with Jeongguk a lot more. 

Seokjin had to quite literally force himself off the couch to get more stew, wanting to just stare at Jeongguk a little longer. He was just so adorable- shy smiles and big, sparkling eyes, and Seokjin had the overwhelming urge to just hold him tight and never let go.

“Here you go.” There’s just something so warm and domestic in the air as Seokjin feeds Jeongguk, the elder so helplessly endeared by the way Jeongguk’s eyes would widen as he opens his mouth, going cross eyed trying to follow the spoon. And when he closes his mouth to swallow, there’s little dimples that appear just above the corners of his lips, and Seokjin just wants to melt , to never let Jeongguk out of his sight. 

“Full now?” He asks when the bowl is empty once again, and a satisfied smile spreads on his face at the nod he gets in reply. 

Seokjin could see that Jeongguk was exhausted, his eyes slowly closing and his head drooping, so he just fixes the blankets, adjusting the top one so that it was up to Jeongguk’s nose. The brunette’s head starts to loll, and soon enough, he’s knocked out, soft snores spilling out of his parted mouth.

“Sleep now, baby.”

Chapter Text

Seokjin didn’t realize he had zoned out watching a sleeping Jeongguk for a long time until he heard the telltale sound of the front door unlocking. Stealing a glance at the analog clock hanging on the wall, he sees that nearly an hour has passed since Jeongguk fell asleep, meaning he’s been lost in his mind for an hour. Barely a second later the door swung open, revealing the first of his boyfriends to come home. 

“Honey, I’m home,” the voice drags the last word out, and Seokjin lights up at the sound of his human sunshine, turning to see Hoseok still in his post dance practice state- dyed red hair disheveled and messy, face still a faint pink shade from exertion, clothes clinging to his skin with the layer of sweat that was still in the process of drying up. He’s putting his shoes neatly onto the rack next to the door, hanging his coat and keys up on the several hooks nailed into the wall.

“Hey, little Seok,” Seokjin greets with a smile, puckering out his lips and Hoseok happily accepts the invitation, bending down to give him a kiss. The kiss did wonders to soothe the building anxiety and tension inside Seokjin, ebbing away at it slowly but surely. He feels relaxed when they pull away, the expression on his face full of relief.

“You seem like you needed that,” Hoseok commented, making Seokjin mentally curse at how observant his boyfriend was. The younger takes a seat next to the older brunette on the couch, arms wrapping around his waist, chest to Seokjin’s back. Seokjin instantly snuggled into the touch, head falling to rest on the other’s shoulder. Even though he was the second tallest and largest one in his relationship, he still oftentimes found himself feeling small in his boyfriends’ arms. He didn’t mind it though, and his lovers were overjoyed to find that their eldest partner welcomed the feeling and loved indulging him in constant hugs and cuddles that had the eldest snuggling up in their chests. 

“Just a worrisome day,” Seokjin shrugs, interlacing their fingers together. 

“Everything okay? Wanna talk about it after I shower? I’m kinda gross right now. I mean, unless you wanna shower together?” Just the suggestive raise of Hoseok’s eyebrows alone is enough to get Seokjin laughing and shoving the other away from him. 

“I have something to tell all of you.” His eyes go back to Jeongguk’s sleeping figure, Hoseok following his gaze. His head tilts in confusion when seeing Jeongguk, mouth already open to ask the millions of questions starting to form in his mind but Seokjin stops him, nudging him with an innocuous shove of his elbow.

“I’ll explain later. Now go shower, you pervert.” Hoseok’s loud, rambunctious laughter carries itself throughout the hallway- Seokjin’s tempted to tell him to shush for Jeongguk’s sake, but the sound dies down quickly with the closing of a door, and the elder sinks back into the armchair, eyes drifting back to the teenager. 

Before he could get lost in his thoughts again, the front door is opening, and in walks his two youngest boyfriends, toeing their shoes off and dropping their backpacks by the door. 

“We’re home!” The younger of the two yells, and Seokjin’s heart momentarily speeds up in pace, glancing over at Jeongguk. When he sees that the teenager barely even stirred, he sags back in relief, glaring at the loud culprits pointedly.

“Shh!” Seokjin motions to the sleeping figure and the two younger men break into fits of hushed giggles. Jimin starts to quiet down when he notices that the face under the covers was not one of his boyfriends.

“Who’s that, hyung?”

“I'll explain later. Why don’t you go wash up? Hoseok’s already in the shower, but I’m sure he’s willing to let anyone join in.”

“Kisses first?” Jimin puckers his lips. Seokjin chuckles, motioning for the blonde to come over.

“Come here, you sap.” The two kiss, and Seokjin makes sure to give Taehyung one as well, and before long he’s alone with Jeongguk again, the house serene and quiet save for the sound of the shower running, the muted voices of Taehyung and Jimin, and Hoseok’s soft singing. 

Not even ten minutes later, there’s the sound of the front door clicking again as it’s unlocked, a familiar voice drifting in as the owner walks in and closes the door behind him. The tall man’s speaking into his phone, the device wedged between his head and his shoulder as his one free hand fumbles with his keys to lock the door, the other one holding the bag he takes to work and his classes.

“No no no, Hyerimah, the papers with the order should already be filed, just check the cabinets. Look, if you still can’t find them, I’ll look for them when I’m in the office Monday after class, okay?” Seokjin has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing as he takes Namjoon’s coat when it slides off his arms, quickly reaching for Namjoon’s bag before the man could drop it on the floor. He lets out a huff, the younger shooting him an apologetic look before saying goodbye to his work’s secretary and hanging up the phone. 

“One of these days, you’re gonna come home with a full head of gray hair, and it’ll be your secretary’s fault.”

“Hyerim’s a nice lady, babe.” Namjoon says with a laugh, pressing a kiss to the corner of Seokjin’s lips. “She’s good at her job.”

“Hmm, I’ll believe that the day I don’t hear you stressing over something she can’t do.”

“I’m not stressing, hyung. I’m helping her.”

“Helping the person whose job is literally to help you?” The two stare at each other for a second, eyebrows raised, both of them trying not to look so amused. Namjoon cracks first, laughing as he smooths down the stray strand of hair on top of Seokjin’s head. 

“You make a fair point.”

“As always, my love.” The two end their friendly little banter with a quick kiss, and Namjoon goes to put his shoes on the rack, picking up Taehyung’s and Jimin’s lazily discarded ones along the way. It was a habit of the younger ones that they’ve tried to break, but the two still seem to leave their things haphazardly all over the house.

“The kids home?” It was a running joke between the two of them, calling their other boyfriends “the kids” since more often than not they were the more prominent caretakers, the parents almost, when it came to their little family, their boyfriends. That’s not to say the others couldn’t take care of themselves- they just liked it when Seokjin and Namjoon did. 

“Yup, little Seok and the two idiots. Yoongi’s still out.” Seokjin grinned, his grip on Namjoon’s hand tightening when the younger started to walk away.

“Excuse me, I believe I was promised a proper kiss before someone left for class this morning.”

Seokjin loved all of his boyfriends’ kisses. They each had their own unique feel, their unique style, mostly dependent on the mood. Yoongi’s were short, and he kissed his boyfriends less often outside of sex- but when he did, it was always a sweet, slow slide of the lips, feeling almost equilvalent to a wordless “I love you.” Hoseok’s kisses, on the other hand, were light and freeing, always leaving his partner feeling bubbly and happy, and could honestly be the cure to any sickness- if only his boyfriends weren’t so unwilling to share. Then there was Jimin’s kisses, teetering on the line between fervent and needy, and soft and passionate. He always needed to have his hands on his partner, whether it be on their face or on their body, and kissed with such a fire that it would leave his partner breathless and craving more. Then there’s Taehyung, who would either kiss slow and sweet, like Yoongi, or he would drive his partner absolutely insane with the skilled use of his teeth and tongue, teasing and biting at the other’s lips until they were practically begging to be kissed. 

And then, Namjoon. 

Seokjin would never admit this to any of his boyfriends, not even Namjoon, but Namjoon’s kisses were his absolute favorite. His lips were always soft, primed with whatever flavored chapstick he had on hand that day. And when he kisses, he’s slow at first, clearly setting the mood and easing into his partner. Then seconds later he’s taking control, hand on his partner’s neck and the other on their waist, and it’s messy, wet, deep, hot- yet so tender, gentle, passionate, so Namjoon. It’s nearly mind-blowing how one person could exude so much through just one kiss, but somehow, Namjoon does it perfectly, leaving the other breathless, wanting more, needing more. 

Seokjin’s always left gasping for air, head fuzzy and floaty just with the mere press of his lips against Namjoon’s, the feeling of the larger man pressed up against his body causing his knees to buckle. 

Namjoon’s dimples are on full display when he pulls away, and Seokjin can’t help the dopey, blissed smile that spreads on his face after the kiss, eyes glazed over as he stared up at his lover. Their chests are raising slightly higher as their lungs take in more air, compensating for the deep, intense kiss they just shared.

“Better now, hyung?” It’s cheeky, the smug grin that Namjoon gives Seokjin, the knowing look in his eyes eliciting a flush of red on Seokjin’s ears. God, he wanted nothing more than to just pounce on Namjoon, to drag him to the bedroom and kiss him for hours on end, only pulling away to breathe. Although, Seokjin wouldn’t mind if he passed out because of the lack of oxygen from kissing Namjoon. 

Yep, he certainly would not mind. 

But, as much as he wanted to, his brain reminded him of the sleeping lump on the couch and he sighs, straightening the collar of Namjoon’s button up shirt as he avoids all sense of eye contact with the younger. Sensing Seokjin’s distress, Namjoon wordlessly hooked his fingers under the other’s chin, tilting his head up so that the two could make eye contact. And before the brunette knew it, he was spilling everything. 

“I’m gonna explain everything once everyone’s together, but, um, I kinda brought someone home ‘cause he collapsed at my job and I panicked and I didn’t know what to do and-“

“Whoa, baby, easy,” Namjoon hushed Seokjin’s rambling, wrapping his arms around the other, his hand guiding Seokjin’s head to rest on his shoulder. He sees Jeongguk out of the corner of his eyes, and makes the connection that he’s who Seokjin was talking about. 

“It’s okay, yeah? Everything’s gonna be okay, we’ll help him, no worries, we can figure it out.” The gentleness of Namjoon’s words washed over Seokjin’s mind like a birdsweet melody, easing his nerves into a tranquil state. If it weren’t for Namjoon, Seokjin truly wouldn’t know where he would be. He would’ve burned out entirely at this point, from taking care of everyone in his life and ensuring their happiness and health. In short, Namjoon was his Seokjin.

“It’s just, he’s so young, Joonie, I got so scared and he’s so sick.” His tone is akin to that of a whimper, the telltale stinging in his eyes only adding to the desperation in his voice. 

“It’s gonna be okay, you did so well. He looks like he’s sleeping so peacefully, yeah? You did enough, I’m proud of you.” 

How does he always know exactly what to say?

Feeling his heart fluttering and stomach filling with butterflies at Namjoon’s words, Seokjin shied away, burying his head in the crook of Namjoon’s neck. His nose instantly filled with Namjoon’s scent, the musk of the younger’s aftershave mixed with the floral scent of his perfume a comforting smell for Seokjin. 

“Thank you,” he mutters out, words muffled due to the way his lips were pressed against Namjoon’s skin. The other hums in response, holding Seokjin closer and pressing a lingering kiss to the temple of his head. They stay like that for a minute, and then Namjoon leaves Seokjin with the promise of his quick return to change his clothes, not needing a shower. The elder decided to change as well, realizing he was still in the clothes he had worn to work. Meanwhile- Taehyung was in his and Jimin’s shared room, sorting through his university things, making mental notes of assignments and material he needed to go over. Jimin and Hoseok were just finishing up their shower, spending a little bit longer than necessary when Jimin decided to get on his knees after suffering through an eternity of Hoseok “innocently” washing him.

Soon enough, the five lovers were back in the living room. Hoseok and Jimin were cuddling, clearly in a post-orgasm blissed state, and chatting as quietly as they could so that they wouldn’t disturb the sleeping stranger- but of course, with their naturally loud, excited nature, Seokjin had to quiet them down too many times for his liking. Taehyung was seated on the floor, his coursework spread out in front of him on the low coffee table. He loved just being in the presence of his boyfriends, even when he’s not actively interacting with them, so more often than not he would do his homework and other things seated next to them. Seokjin was wrapped in Namjoon’s arms, his back to the younger’s chest, the two of them quiet as they caught up with the latest news on the television. Namjoon’s hand was under the elder’s shirt on his waist, stroking the soft skin there with lazy, repeating rubs of his thumb. Every so often, Namjoon would kiss the side of Seokjin’s face, or bring his hand up to smooth the hair down from where it was sticking up with the way Namjoon’s head was resting against Seokjin’s. 

“Isn’t Yoongi normally home around this time?” Jimin breaks the collective silence, and Namjoon checks his phone for the time, a sound of agreement coming out of him. 

“He’s probably just caught up in his work, you know how hyung gets,” Taehyung spoke up for the first time since he sat down, looking up from his homework. His other boyfriends nod in agreement, having known and experienced how the second eldest got when he’s devoted to his work as a producer. On several occasions, one or two of them had to physically drag Yoongi out of his studio when he didn’t come home for the entire day, sometimes even going as far as the next day. They all knew Yoongi was passionate about his work, and the songs he would produce for idols, working for groups like Stray Kids and The Rose, but sometimes it would get to a point where his health would be concerned and his boyfriends would interfere. 

“He isn’t. I uh, I asked him to stop by the store.” Seokjin was half prepared for the chorus of protests and complaints arising from the four men, looking between his boyfriends in amusement. 

“You could’ve asked me!” Jimin, ever the obedient little helper, whined. 

“Or me!” Taehyung and Hoseok said in unison. Namjoon just laughs from behind Seokjin, both their bodies shaking with his movements. Seokjin chuckles, amused, hands resting on top of Namjoon’s to wrap the other’s arms around him tighter.

"Well, I asked Yoongi, so can it.” Seokjin was trying not to laugh at the petulant pouts his lovers gave him, instead he kept his face as straight as he could, but the exchange of amused glances turned funny expressions meant they all ended up in fits of giggles anyway.

“Are you ever gonna tell us who he is?” Hoseok jerked his head in Jeongguk’s direction. Jeongguk’s still in the same spot, but instead of being on his back like he fell asleep, he was on his stomach with his arm falling off the edge of the couch, having somehow flipped over mid-sleep. His face was smushed in the cushion, mouth parted open for faint snores to leave, long, wavy hair completely covering the upper half of his face.

Cute.

“When Yoongi gets home.”

“Are you babysitting?” Taehyung asked.

“Nope.”

“Did you kidnap him?” And if it was anyone other than Jimin saying that, Seokjin would’ve probably just laughed.

But of course, it was Jimin.

“Ow!” Jimin pouted once Seokjin’s hand made contact with the back of his head. The elder two tried to muffle their sounds of amusement, but Taehyung is rolling on the ground, howling in laughter, arms wrapped around his stomach. Amazingly, Jeongguk is still dead to the world even with the commotion, but Seokjin still warns the two youngest to settle down a little. 

“What? He looks young!” Jimin defends, arms quickly going up when Seokjin raises his hand again. They both start laughing, shoulders bouncing with each laugh erupting out of them. Seokjin kisses the top of Jimin’s head in a silent apology, the both of them leaning into each other’s embrace. 

“He’s adorable.” 

“You should see him when he’s awake. About the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“Hey!” Seokjin didn’t have to look at him to know Jimin was pouting. He laughs at the blonde, holding his head tightly as the younger just thrashed around in his grasp, movements entirely too playful to indicate any sense of fighting between the two. They’re both still laughing, their other three boyfriends watching the scene unfold in amusement. 

“You’ll be saying the same thing soon enough, you brat.”

“We’ll see about that. But until then, I’m still the cutest.”

“Of course, baby.” Even though Seokjin’s tone is sarcastic, Jimin doesn’t take offense to it one bit. He might be more than proud of his title as the cutest one in their relationship (and more than confident that no one will steal that title)- but even so, when he looked at the peaceful face peeking out from the mass of blankets, he had to admit it. The kid is adorable as fuck. 

In that moment, the front door opens, and Yoongi walks in, unbeknownst to the five pairs of eyes watching him attentively. When he turns, he makes a noise of shock, suddenly feeling shy under his boyfriends’ gazes.

“Uh, I’m home idiots.”

“Hyung!” Before Yoongi could even get his coat off, there’s three pairs of hands all fumbling to grab him, lips all over his face and Yoongi had to brace himself against the door to keep from falling under the bodies charging at him. 

“Yah, let me breathe!” The culprits- Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok- pulled away with complacent looks on their faces, clearly entertained by the elder’s disbelief.

“Hi,” The eldest is biting his lip, trying not to laugh at the distressed man. Yoongi just huffs, putting his shoes and coat away. 

“Remind me why I’m dating a bunch of idiots?” Even with the sarcastic question he makes sure to capture all of his boyfriends’ lips in a greeting kiss, coming to Seokjin last. 

“‘Cause you love us.” Seokjin said with a smile once they pulled away. “You get what I asked for?”

“As per your request.” Yoongi hands Seokjin the convenience store bag he was holding. “Everything okay? You’re not getting sick are you?”

Hoseok caught a glimpse of the items in the bag, immediately looking at Seokjin with concerned eyes. “Huh? Is that medicine?”

“Hyung is sick?”

“Hyung, you’re sick? Why didn’t you say so!” Taehyung took long strides over to Seokjin, hands going up to press against the elder’s skin. 

“It’s not me!”

“Well who-“

“Why do I count six bodies?” Yoongi cuts Taehyung off when his eyes land on the lump that was on the couch, fixated on the mop of brown hair that was peeking out. 

“Jin hyung says he has something to tell us, but he wanted to wait until you got home.”

Yoongi just looks at his eldest boyfriend with a questioning look, his brow raised as he waits for the other to start talking. 

Seokjin opens his mouth, but he barely gets a word out before the quietness of the room is disturbed by a soft groan, then more groaning, and then suddenly a whimper. Seokjin is by Jeongguk’s side in an instant, fingers threading through his messy locks.

“Honey?” He calls softly, unsure if the younger was awake. Jeongguk stirs, and that’s when Seokjin notices the greenish tinge that coats his skin, an alarm blaring in his head at the sight. 

Before Jeongguk could fully open his eyes, Seokjin was gone and back with a bucket, and suddenly he’s puking, remnants of his dinner spilling into the bucket under his chin. There’s a collective groan and a gag or two from the others- most likely Hoseok- but Seokjin tunes them out, using his free hand that wasn’t holding the bucket to keep Jeongguk’s long hair out of his face. 

“It’s okay, baby, you gotta let it all out,” he murmurs softly, using his thumb to wipe away the beads of sweat that was starting to form on Jeongguk’s forehead. 

The vomiting ceases, and Jeongguk’s left dry heaving for a good minute before he finally slumps back into the couch. There’s a hand next to Seokjin, holding a bottle of water, and the man looks up to see Namjoon, a worried smile on his face. He takes it gratefully, uncapping the bottle as he holds it up to Jeongguk’s face. 

“Small sips, okay?” His voice is gentle when he presses the opening to the brunette’s lips, fingers hooking under his chin as he tilts the teen’s head and the bottle back. Jeongguk does as instructed, taking small sips until half the bottle is empty, and Seokjin removes the bottle with a soft smile. 

“That’s good enough, we wouldn’t want to upset your stomach again. You okay to stand?” Jeongguk nods, taking Seokjin’s hand and using it to support himself as he stood. Seokjin could feel the five pairs of eyes currently boring into his back, ears tinting red at the attention, but he focused on Jeongguk instead, wrapping a sturdy arm around his waist to make sure the teenager didn’t collapse. 

“Namjoonah, can you clean this out?” Namjoon takes the bucket with a grimace, but doesn’t complain, just takes it to the bathroom to clean it out.

Seokjin takes Jeongguk to the second bathroom, his younger boyfriends’ shared bathroom, where he finds an unused spare toothbrush tucked away in a drawer. After he opens the packaging, he hands the toothbrush and a half empty tube of toothpaste over to Jeongguk. Thankfully, the other seemed coherent enough to brush his teeth, even though his movements were lethargic and far too slow. Seokjin was patient though. 

“How are you feeling? Any nausea still?” Jeongguk shakes his head, but immediately regrets it- his head was pounding, fuzzy, and heavy, like someone had replaced it with a bowling ball on his shoulders. He could barely see straight, and was convinced there were two Seokjins standing next to him. Seokjin catches the younger before he could fall, and uses his body as a support while helping Jeongguk clean his face. 

“Poor thing, you’re really sick, huh?”

It’s then that he takes a good look at Jeongguk- the younger is swimming in the clothes Seokjin gave him. His hoodie is practically falling off of Jeongguk’s shoulders, the hem reaching mid-thigh and the sleeves covering his hands. The legs of Jimin’s sweatpants are pooling around Jeongguk’s feet, barely being held up by the thin drawstring around his waist. Oh, his waist. It was so thin, Seokjin was convinced that both his hands would fit around his slim middle, which bothered him deeply. He didn’t like it, the thought that Jeongguk barely ate enough to fill his frame out. From now on, he would make sure he gets some food into him consistently, no matter what. 

Well, now he understood grandmothers’ constant need to feed their grandchildren. 

It’s warm and endearing, the feeling that creeps into his heart at the sight of the other. Even with the permanent frown etched on his features, the clear dazed look he’s wearing- he’s still so beautiful.

As soon as Jeongguk is out of the bathroom and back on the couch, his eyes are closed, and soft snores are emitted out of him, head lolling back onto the couch. He barely noticed the five men staring at him in varying degrees of shock, which in turn, shocked them even more. They’re all looking at their eldest boyfriend, questions on the tip of their tongues, confusion in their brows, concern in their eyes. 

“So,” Yoongi’s the first to talk, “why is there some random kid puking on our couch?”

“He’s… a customer from the cafe.”

“You brought a customer home? Isn’t that like, against the rules?” Taehyung asked. 

“Never mind that. You brought a fucking stranger home.” Seokjin tried not to flinch at Yoongi’s harsh tone, but his face scrunched up, and he shot the younger an irritated look. 

“He’s not a stranger! Look, he frequents the place, okay? Orders the same thing every time, always so fucking sweet.”

“Hyung, babe, just because someone’s a regular does not mean you know them,” Yoongi tries to argue, but Seokjin just looks at him with pleading eyes.

“Let him speak, Yoongi hyung. I’m sensing a but .”

“I’ve always had an inkling something was… different about him,” Seokjin says when Namjoon finishes. “Call it a gut instinct or whatever, but he just stood out to me.”

“And that prompted you to bring him home why?”

“I’m getting there, Yoongi.”

“Well, get there faster! The suspense is killing me!” If the circumstances were different, the others would’ve been thoroughly amused with Jimin’s petulant whimes, but they remain serious, attentively listening to Seokjin.

“He collapsed, okay? He hadn’t been in the cafe for a couple of weeks, and I didn’t think much of it at first- but then I saw him today. And holy shit, I was scared . He looked so sick, so weak, so… out of it. And when I gave him his tea and a biscuit because I could tell he needed something to eat, he barely touched any of it. And when I got off my shift, I went to him, and god, it was so scary . He collapsed, right in front of me! I couldn’t just leave him there, he looks so young! What if someone saw, and took him? What if they took advantage of him? I couldn’t have lived with myself knowing damn well I could’ve prevented someone getting hurt! And then I realized just how sick he was when I bought him here- he was delirious, burning up and falling every chance he got.” Seokjin decided to leave out the little incident from when Jeongguk first woke up, knowing that without any explanation or context, his boyfriends would immediately be willing to kick Jeongguk to the streets, even if Seokjin begged and pleaded. 

“Poor thing, he sounds really sick.” Hoseok crouches by Jeongguk, resting his hand on the other’s forehead. “He’s burning, holy shit.” The redhead frowns, threading his nimble fingers through the knotty locks, separating them gently. 

“If he collapsed, why didn’t you, I dunno, call an ambulance?”

“Yoongi, he’s homeless. You know how crazy expensive hospitals are, and I doubt he has money to pay any form of medical bill.” There’s a chorus of exclamations and confusion amongst the five, several pairs of eyes landing on the sleeping figure. 

“Wait, what?”

“He’s homeless?”

“I’m like, ninety percent sure.”

“So you’re not certain?” And Seokjin has to resist the urge to glare at Yoongi. He knew just as much as he was protective of Jeongguk, Yoongi was protective of them, and so he would be wary of the teenager, especially when he didn’t know him. 

“Well, if he’s homeless, there’s no way in hell I’m sending him back out there in this condition!” Hoseok exclaimed, wide eyes looking around the room at his boyfriends. “It’s freezing! There was ice on my car this morning!”

“I don’t want to either. Look, I’m just planning on taking care of him until he can at least walk without falling or eat without puking, and then we can find out where he can go or whatever. Are you guys okay with that?”

“I’m fine with it.”

“Me too.”

“If you guys are okay, then I’m fine with it.”

“If hyung trusts him, then I’m okay with it.”

The room falls silent, all five pairs of eyes looking at the second oldest expectantly. Yoongi’s eyes are still on the sleeping boy, the man clearly deep in thought with the way his brows pinched together.

“Well? Yoongi?”

“Okay… Yeah, whatever, as long as the kid doesn’t steal or something.”

“He won’t. Jeonggukah is the sweetest thing ever.” The fond smile that lights up Seokjin’s face is all the others need to let go of the remaining apprehension they felt towards the teen, Yoongi especially. The second eldest doesn’t take his eyes off Jeongguk, and he can admit, the kid’s cute. But he still felt wary of letting someone he didn’t know stay in his house- his lovers’ safety was his number one priority, and even if Jeongguk looked about as harmless as a bunny, he knew he had to stay logical and on his guard.

“His name’s Jeongguk?” Jimin perks up, and Seokjin nods, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi Jeongguk. We’re gonna be best friends.” Jimin crouches down next to the sleeping brunette, a comforting hand threading through his hair. Finally, Seokjin feels like he can relax, knowing that Jeongguk would be in great hands with not just him, but the others as well. Even if Yoongi wasn’t exactly on board completely, he could trust the younger not to do anything rash.

The five younger boyfriends go to sleep in their own rooms, a rare occurrence between the six of them. They had all agreed to keep their relationship a secret from the teenager beforehand, something they’ve grown accustomed to when it came to strangers. Living in a country that wasn’t so accepting of gay men was already suffocating enough for them, they didn’t need to add fuel to the fire by revealing the fact that they’re six gay men in a relationship. Seokjin was sure that Jeongguk wouldn’t have any quells about it- he was more concerned about scaring the teenager, something that would probably happen with their presence alone. 

Seokjin doesn’t know how long he spends staring at Jeongguk, studying his features- the way his lips slightly quivered with each snore that pushed itself out, the way his brows would pinch every so often, a faint crease forming in the space in between, the way his nose twitched, scrunching up a millisecond before he sniffled.  

“Hyung, you should get some sleep,” a voice cuts him out of his trance, and he looks up to see Namjoon, hair sticking out in different directions, indents and creases running along the side of his face and down his arm as well- he had clearly just woken up.

“i’m fine, Joonah.”

“If you say so.” The man plants a kiss on top of his eldest boyfriend’s head, stroking the hair there gently before heading back towards the direction of his room. 

Despite being the last one to fall asleep, Seokjin’s the first one awake the next morning. He finally dozed off around four, and it was currently nine in the morning. The position he fell asleep in meant that he woke up with a crick in his back and a stiff neck, but after a few stretches, he managed to dull the pain down to a bearable ache.

Thankfully, it was Saturday, meaning all six of them had the next two days off from work and university, so they would be sleeping in. Seokjin decided to get a head start on breakfast, and made a typical Western breakfast- pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast. The barista started up the rice cooker as well, wanting to have some just in case the assortment of food didn’t satisfy the immense appetite of his ravenous boyfriends. He even debated doing on a platter of fruit, deciding that if he was gonna go all out, might as well.

Seokjin was peeling the third tangerine when he heard loud pants over the sizzling, crackling sound of the bacon, his head immediately turning to find the source of the noise. The opening connecting the kitchen and the living room was fairly large, so Seokjin had a wide view into the main room. That’s when he sees Jeongguk, eyes wide open, chest moving up and down at such a speed it couldn’t be healthy.

He recognized the signs of a panic attack instantly, and rushed to Jeongguk’s side, hesitant hands hovering over the teenager’s body.

“Jeonggukah, can you hear me? Can I touch you, honey?” As soon as the younger nods Seokjin’s hands cover Jeongguk’s trembling ones, and he immediately starts uttering words of reassurance.

“Calm down honey, it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re with me, you’re in my house, you collapsed at my job and I brought you here so I can take care of you, okay? You’re safe with me here, take a deep breath for me okay?” Seokjin places one of Jeongguk’s hands on his chest, exaggerating his breathing so that he could hopefully nudge the younger back on track. 

“Yeah, just like that, follow my lead, okay? You’re doing good, you’re doing- umph!” Seokjin’s cut off with his own grunt when Jeongguk practically throws himself into his chest, flailing arms wrapping around Seokjin’s neck the instant their bodies come in contact. Seokjin’s arms wrap around the younger’s waist, soft shushes and coos leaving his mouth as he tries to calm the whimpering teen in his arms. 

It took just under five minutes of back rubs and soft reassurance for Jeongguk to calm down. He’s back to breathing normally, but his body was still trembling and his hands were gripping Seokjin’s shirt so tight his knuckles were white. Seokjin tried pulling away so that he could take a look at Jeongguk’s face, but the younger didn’t let up his rigid grip, clinging onto Seokjin as if he was his lifeline.

“I’m making breakfast, wanna come and help me? I’ll let you flip the pancakes.”

That’s when Jeongguk registered the delicious aroma of the breakfast in the air, and right on cue, his stomach let out a series of low rumbles.

“Yeah? I bet you’re hungry since you had a rough night last night. Come on.”

Seokjin gently unclasped Jeongguk’s hands from his shirt, and held both of them in his larger hands, walking backwards as he guided the brunette into the kitchen. Once there he tested the waters, letting go of one hand to reach for a spatula. When he could see that Jeongguk wasn’t going to freak out again, he placed the spatula in the hand he was holding, giving Jeongguk a small smile as he went back to cutting the fruit.

One by one, the others began to pile into the kitchen, gathering around the small table that served as their primary breakfast area, or whenever it was just a few of them rather than all of them. Hoseok’s first, greeting the two with a bright and cheerful smile. 

“Hello Jeonggukah! I’m Hoseok, it’s so great to meet you, well, when you’re awake that is.” Jeongguk was startled by the dancer’s naturally cheery nature, and hid behind Seokjin, but the elder just laughed, easing Jeongguk out from behind him.

“Don’t mind little Seok, he’s just always this cheerful. I’m sure you’ll get along quite well.”

Jeongguk watched Hoseok who was getting lost in a conversation with Seokjin, the youngest too absorbed in his own mind to pay attention to the context. There’s something about the aura and energy he’s radiating- it’s alluring, enthralling, makes Jeongguk want to stand next to him and bask in his light for a little while. He could already tell Hoseok had the kind of personality that made everyone want to be friends with him, that kind that shines even in the darkest of nights. And on top of that, he looked gorgeous. Hoseok’s tan skin looked dewy and smooth to the touch, and Jeongguk found himself wanting to plant soft kisses on the tender skin. Everything about Hoseok felt soft, radiant, sun-kissed.

Next to walk in was Jimin, who was dragging a very sleepy and barely comprehensive Taehyung behind him. The blonde dragged Taehyung to a chair, pushing down on his shoulders to make him sit. The younger practically falls on the chair, a soft umph leaving his lips when his butt makes contact. Jimin just giggles, clearly more awake than the younger, and turns, eyes growing in delight when seeing Jeongguk.

“Oh goody, he’s awake! Hi, I’m Jimin, this little sleepy cutie is Taehyung.”

Jeongguk couldn’t help but gape at the two- they were beautiful. 

Taehyung, even in his sleepy state, was smiling at Jimin’s antics, his lips forming a rectangular-like shape as the skin- his smooth, caramel, honey-kissed skin- beside his hooded eyes crinkled, messy, soft brown hair falling just over his forehead. His head turned to the side and Jeongguk felt his breath hitch at the other’s jawline, noting how chiseled and sharp it looked, and how his lips jutted out slightly as he spoke to the blonde next to him, and his hands- fuck, Jeongguk wanted to write sonnets on his hands. On how he wanted them holding his hands, holding his face, holding his waist, playing with his hair, and more . His eyes trail down to Taehyung’s fingers, the long, slender digits were wrapped around a mug, almost entirely encircling the entire circumference. There’s a few simple rings decorating some of them, and Jeongguk wonders how they would feel wrapped around his hand. His own fingers itch to trace the slope of Taehyung’s perfect nose, and the curls of his pretty eyelashes- fuck, how are his eyelashes so pretty?  

And then there’s Jimin.

The first thing Jeongguk notices, is that he’s a few centimeters shorter. The second thing Jeongguk notices? 

He’s breathtaking.

If God was real, Jeongguk would certain he would be Jimin. He’s so stunningly attractive, even in his post-sleep state. His blonde hair has clear evidence of fingers threading through them, a futile attempt to tame the mess of bleached locks. Loose strands fell over enticing brown orbs, captivating eyes that had Jeongguk almost afraid to initiate any form of eye contact with the blonde, afraid he would absolutely go weak at the knees. And if he looked closer, he could see the freckles, the soft dots of brown adorning the other’s cheeks and nose. 

And his lips. His lips- they were so plump, so pink, so pretty. They were curled in a smile, a charming smile that had Jeongguk gripping onto the counter for support, distracted by the way Jimin’s lips glistened under the sunlight seeping through the kitchen windows when his tongue darted out to lick them. Jeongguk can’t remember the last time he’s kissed, or been kissed by someone, or even if he’s had a real kiss- all he knows is, he’s drowning in the want, the need to have Jimin’s lips pressed against his own. 

Jeongguk’s eyes trailed down to Jimin’s body. The blonde was dressed in a tight white long sleeved and grey sweats, and Jeongguk reminds himself to close his mouth so he doesn’t drool- Jimin’s biceps were practically bulging against the tight confines of the sleeves, and Jeongguk could see the faint outlines of abs on Jimin’s abdomen. He doesn’t know where to focus his sight- at the way Jimin’s muscles are flexing against his shirt when he goes to hug Hoseok, at the way his plump lips moved when he starts talking, at the way his eyes glistened and shimmered as he spoke.

Then Jeongguk’s snapped out of his reverie by yet another man walking in, looking somewhat more presentable and less like he had just rolled out of bed. His fluffy light brown hair is swept messily to the side, round black-rimmed glasses framing his eyes that formed crescents as a dimpled smile lit up his face. One of his large hands is holding a book with his phone against it, the other tucked into the pocket of his fuzzy pajama pants that had some bear character Jeongguk doesn’t know the name of plastered all over them. 

“Good morning, everyone!” He greets, the roughness and scratchy tone indicative of the fact that he’s just woken up. 

“Morning, Joonie bug!” Jimin goes to hug the approaching figure, and Jeongguk momentarily wonders what it’s like to be hugged by Jimin. He can’t remember the last time he’s had a proper hug, or the last time he’s laid and cuddled with someone. Actually, come to think of it, he doesn’t remember ever being cuddled at all. 

Sad.

“Oh, you must be Jeongguk! Pleasure to meet you, I’m Kim Namjoon.”

And if Jeongguk wasn’t already breathless enough from Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin, Namjoon definitely stole all his air away. Were all of Seokjin’s housemates handsome as hell? Am I in gay heaven?

He feels dizzy, like all the air in him is just being sucked out of him the second Namjoon walks in. He’s convinced Namjoon had been hand-crafted, sculpted  by the gods themselves. He’s a sculptured masterpiece- biceps bulging against the low cut shirt that looks ready to burst open at any second, skin looking like it was kissed by the sun itself, a golden honey color that’s deeply complemented by the vibrancy of the emerald shirt he’s wearing. His jawline is sharp, defined, and just so downright kissable that Jeongguk mentally curses at the gods above because why are they torturing him? What did he do to deserve this? Why are there so many big, hot men in one room? And then Namjoon smiles again and yep, Jeongguk is about to throw a fit.

Fuck, the dimples.

He just had to have fucking dimples.

There’s another man, and Jeongguk hopes to god it’s the last one because if he sees one more hot person emerge from the diminishing darkness of the hallway, he’s going to lose it. It’s clear he’s half asleep when he walks in the kitchen, feet dragging with every step he takes. His drowsy eyes are barely open when he sits, hair sticking up in every direction imaginable. He doesn’t say anything when Seokjin hands him his usual cup of black coffee, just lets out an appreciative grunt before taking a sip of the bitter liquid.

“That’s Yoongi hyung. Don’t try talking to him before noon, cause he doesn’t turn on his brain until after his coffee,” a voice is whispering into Jeongguk’s ears, and Jeongguk’s brain just about short-circuits at the proximity of Jimin’s lips to him, the sudden rush of cold air chilling his side once the heat of Jimin’s body is removed. 

“My ears still work, Jiminah.”

“Morning, hyung,” Jimin’s smile is about as innocent as he looks, and Jeongguk has to look away before he starts staring. His eyes go to Yoongi, and yup, all of Seokjin’s housemates are hot as hell. His mind is already imprinting each one of Yoongi’s details- his half-lidded slanted eyes. The pout of his pink, plump lips. The pastel rosiness coating his cheeks, a gentle contrast to the creaminess of his skin. His stark, black hair framing his face, bangs pushed to the sides. The veins trailing down his hands, disappearing into the loose sleeves of his sleep shirt.

Fuck, these hands were gonna be the death of him. 

Before he knew it, breakfast was ready and hot in front of them, the men practically salivating at the assortment of food. Jeongguk, who was still so deathly anxious, sat right to Seokjin, his eyes never faltering to anywhere but the plate in front of him. Even if he had admittedly been staring at the housemates before, he couldn’t help the nerves that crept into every vein in his body when he sat at the table, eyes casted downwards to avoid accidentally making eye contact with anyone. 

The older men fell into a natural conversation as they ate- mostly talking about their previous day. Jimin shares a story that happened in one of his classes, then Taehyung talks about his latest project for photography class, all while Hoseok is blabbering away to Namjoon- who’s honestly not listening, he’s too engrossed in his book- about changing classes ( “My professor is just so fucking stupid, Joonie, like, who the fuck can make a full choreographed routine in two days? We’re students!” ). Seokjin chimes in here and there when his brain produces a comment, mind in another world, and Yoongi, aside from Jeongguk, is the only one who’s quiet. Yoongi doesn’t take his eyes off Jeongguk. He’s still skeptical, questions still sitting at the tip of his tongue. Even though he trusts Seokjin explicitly and Seokjin claims to trust the teen, there’s an itch under his skin that he needs to scratch, worries he needs gone.

“So, what’s your deal, kid?”

Chapter Text

“So what’s your deal, kid?”

Memory can be funny sometimes. It’s hard to remember what was for dinner the night before. Sometimes a recent conversation can just fly away faster than a bird in the winter. Even cramming the night before an exam can cause everything learned to wash away in just a gentle ride of the wave. 

Trauma can be weird sometimes. Childhoods gone, all because there’s a memory the brain refuses to unlock. Nights disappearing because it’s hard to cope, hard to handle the truth, and easy to live in a lie, easy to live in a dream. Days overlapping because the safety of repeating, the safety of routine, it’s better than the streams that flood the mind, that drown the thoughts out. Years of mental illnesses and trauma responses down the road, because the mind can’t process something that’s hidden in a corner. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, eating disorders, addiction- all because of unprocessed trauma, of memories locked away in a window display- constantly in the back of the mind, untouchable. 

But what about the other side of memory? The other side of trauma? The flashbacks, the nightmares. The constant replay and rewind, no matter how many distractions there are. Every detail’s etched and imprinted on every train of thought. It’s haunting, eerie. Unexplained yet known shadows at every corner, hair on end at every turn. The lock on the box of memories is broken, and they’re all on full display- psychotic, angry, depressed, anxious. 

Guilty.

“Son! Look who I brought home! His name’s Taehwan. He needs a place to stay for a bit, I hope you don’t mind!” The teenager was ecstatic- he loved meeting new people! 

“Hello, Taehwan-ssi!” He seemed kind, fun, and someone the teen could definitely be friends with.

Maybe they could’ve been. He’ll never know.

It had been a week of Taehwan staying at his house.

The chilly school day came to an end and soon, the teenager was home. He walked into his house, smile as bright as ever, eager to share his day with his two favorite people. 

“Mom? Dad?” The house is eerily silent, too quiet to have been hiding the lively couple in the depths of the hallways. 

Then he sees it- the splatters of red painted all over the walls, and his stomach lurches ten feet into the air. He doesn’t want to, but his legs drag him along, following the trail of blood smeared on the floor. His vision is blurry, mind already assuming the worst but he’s holding onto hope, holding onto a dream where everything is fine and his parents are in the kitchen, happily laughing and chatting and making dinner, waiting for their son to come home.

Surprisingly, he didn’t scream. Didn’t cry. His voice barely even shook as he informed the police. Doesn’t even let the paramedics wrap a blanket around him. When his parents were carried out, he stared at the black bags until they disappeared from sight, feeling his soul drain out of him, leaving with their bodies. 

Memory can be funny sometimes. Retaining basic information for school, like formulas and vocabulary words, is something he struggles with. Even everyday things like meals and conversations seem to escape his mind from time to time. 

But the sight that was just in front of him- he knows it’s etched into his brain for the rest of his life. Every detail, every drop of blood, the cold, lifeless eyes of his parents- it’s all committed to memory. If a sketch artist came and asked him to describe the bloody scene, he would come out with a picture perfect replica of what he saw with his own two eyes. It’s a painting that’s constantly hung in his mind, the artist guilt itself.

Guilty. For not coming home earlier. For not bringing up his concerns. For not seeing that there was something so off, so wrong. 

For not stopping him. 

Taehwan killed three more families, he discovered. He was caught when a neighbor of the last family had recognized him at a store, and he immediately confessed. To every murder. In detail. With a smile. 

Guilt. 

Taehwan was guilty. 

But so was Min Yoongi.

————

“So, what’s your deal, kid?” 

Yoongi’s voice is devoid of any kind of kindness and warmth, and it scares Jeongguk, the brunette tensing up. The silence that followed was deafeningly loud, all sets of eyes looking at Jeongguk expectantly. He can feel his cheeks heating up under the attention, can feel his entire body tingling and prickling underneath his skin, and suddenly his mind is in overdrive- the light is too bright, his clothing too textured, their breathing too loud. His nails dig into his thighs, crescent imprints forming in his skin under the thin fabric of his- Jimin’s- pants.

“Yoongi,” Seokjin snarls at his boyfriend, eyes burning straight into Yoongi’s own pair, the slight hiss that follows the name much too loud for Jeongguk’s liking.  There’s a staredown between the two eldest, a conversation that- although wordless- they seemed to understand.

“What? I’m just curious.” Yoongi’s words sounded like a smirk had tugged at his lips, but when Jeongguk finally locked eyes with the elder, his expression was as blank as ever. He’s unreadable, and that scares Jeongguk even more- he’s usually able to read people right off the bat. It’s a skill he’s mastered while living on the streets- being able to tell someone’s intentions just from one look at their face. It’s how he survived for so long. 

Seokjin notices Jeongguk shaking next to him, and he rests a hand on the younger brunette’s thigh. “Jeonggukah?” 

Jeongguk’s mind goes back into overdrive and he’s stuttering out a response, the first words he’s spoken all morning. “I’ll go now,” he’s bent ninety degrees as he bows to the group, “I’m sorry for imposing on you. I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart.” There’s immediate words of protests as he straightens up, and Seokjin’s hand is gentle as he pulls Jeongguk back in his seat.

“None of that, honey. Yoongi is just Grumpy the little dwarf today, don’t mind him. Finish your food, sweetie.”

Jeongguk sits back down, but he doesn’t move another inch, his hunger diminishing as the nausea takes his place. Seokjin brings a head to his forehead out of curiosity, and frowns.

“You're still burning up, I’ll get you some medicine.”

After taking the medicine, Jeongguk is curled up on the couch, slowly drifting away into sleep. He supposed his body is making up for the lack of sleep he’s gotten these past couple weeks, from both sleeping on the streets and being sick. His head constantly feels like it’s detached from his body, just floating away in the clouds while simultaneously being weighed down by an anchor in water. 

The rest of breakfast is about as awkward as it could get- nobody spared a glance anywhere other than their nearly empty plates, and Seokjin is glaring jaggers at Yoongi’s head. 

Then Jimin speaks up first. 

“Seriously hyung? I get you don’t like him, but you don’t have to be so harsh on him! He’s just a kid.”

All eyes go to Yoongi, his usual blank demeanor now containing hints of frustration. The elder looks at Jimin, their eyes locking and suddenly Jimin is shifting under his boyfriend’s intense stare, Yoongi looking much too upset for his liking. 

“Why is he homeless? What if he’s some kind of drug addict just waiting for the right moment to steal our shit so he can get some money to fund his shit?” The ravenette finally gets out, and now they’re all looking at Yoongi, expressions of confusion and frustration and shock morphing together amongst the five. Seokjin especially, was just frustrated.

“He is not a drug addict, Yoongi.” Seokjin’s tone is a bit harsh for such a fruitless argument, but he feels the need to defend Jeongguk’s honor, the need to protect the teen he had grown so attached to the past few days.

“Hyung, I can tell that you’re a bit skeptical about this. But, you know us. We’re not just gonna let some poor, sick kid live on the streets, especially when it’s so cold and harsh out there. It’s not forever, just until we can think of something better for him,” Namjoon tries to alleviate the rising tension between the two eldest boyfriends, resting a tender hand on Yoongi’s shoulder.

Then Jimin says something, and the others turned to him in shock because of course, there was obviously a reason why Yoongi had been so reluctant, had been so harsh on Jeongguk. He enjoyed the role of caretaker, probably more than Namjoon and Seokjin did, but with a more subtle approach. Warm, home cooked meals at the end of busy days. Bubble baths and back massages when someone was feeling particularly stressed out. Providing subtle support from the quiet sidelines in bottles of water and promised cuddles whenever his boyfriends are having bad days. Yoongi’s love was a quiet kind of love, yet it spoke the loudest amongst his boyfriends. 

So of course his hesitancy and reluctance towards Jeongguk was confusing to the other men, contradicting everything they knew about their second eldest boyfriend. 

“Yoongi, is this about your parents?” Jimin inquired. 

His parents.

The silence is all the others needed for an answer.

“Yoongi…”

“I know this, this Jeongguk kid probably won’t even hurt a fly, but… It’s just something in the back of my mind that I can’t shake. That one day I’m gonna come home from work and… and find you guys…”

“Yoongi, your fear is perfectly valid. It’s a natural response to the trauma-”

“Jiminah, please. I don’t need a psychologist- I need my boyfriend.”

“Sweetie, we know you still feel guilty about what happened to your parents, and so you’re trying to make up for it with Jeongguk. But baby, you have to remember, none of it was your fault. You were only thirteen, that bastard had you and your parents fooled.” Seokjin’s tone is as gentle as ever, fingers threading through the stark black locks of the younger. The gesture had Yoongi’s tenseness dissipating, his body going lax in Jimin’s arms, which were now wrapped around his waist. 

“Maybe you guys are right.” He murmurs, words slurred and voice low with how shy and vulnerable he was feeling in that moment, but his boyfriends are quick to comfort him- Jimin squeezing him just a little tighter, Seokjin’s fingers still stroking his hair, Namjoon reaching for one hand while Hoseok reach for the other, and Taehyung gladly taking the task of peppering the elder’s face with soft kisses. 

————

Recovery was a slow process. Jeongguk’s stubborn fever took days to go back down to a normal temperature, and the nausea hardly left his body, making it difficult for him to eat half the meals Seokjin had kindly prepared for him. Most nights he would wake up either in a cold sweat, absolutely drenched and having to take multiple showers just to get the grimy feeling off his skin, or he would wake up feeling like he had been tossed into the middle of the hottest desert, body on fire and skin heated to the touch. His head still felt heavy on his shoulders, nose and ears feeling like they were stuffed full of cotton. 

But aside from that, Seokjin and his housemates were making him feel pleasantly comfortable and welcomed, and less like he was dying. To everyone’s surprise, the shy teenager who barely left Seokjin’s side the day that they met was now starting to become less anxious around the older men, warming up and growing more comfortable around them.

But there’s another issue, a problem Jeongguk has come to realize again and again over the course of the week- he was slowly starting to absolutely, positively, definitely, go insane.

It all started the third day he stayed at Seokjin’s house, the day after he had formally met Seokjin’s housemates.

When Jeongguk woke up that morning, his head was pounding. Even with the dim lighting of the morning sunrise barely peeking through the closed curtains of the living room, it was too bright for him, the sounds of birds chirping too loud even for his blocked ears. The pain caused him to let out a loud whimper, curling into his smallest possible form and trying to block out everything with his arms forming a protective hold around his head. He doesn’t unravel, not when he starts to break out into a sweat, not when his back was starting to hurt from the position he was in. Everything was aching, hurting so bad, and he just wanted it to stop.

Jeongguk barely registers the dip of the couch next to him, barely registers the soothing hand stroking his hair, rubbing his back. He can hear something, somewhat muted with how stuffed his ears felt - a soft, angelic voice, singing a gentle melody that he vaguely recognized, and oh, it’s the lullaby that his grandmother used to sing him to sleep each night. 

For a second he thinks he’s floating, body suddenly feeling light and airy, his head not pounding anymore. The ethereal voice eases him into a state of relaxation; the hands on his body were gentle, tender, almost ghost-like and soft. He feels like he’s floating in the ocean, soothing waves crashing into his body, and he’s painless for a moment. But then he’s pulled into someone’s lap, pressed into a hard surface and snapped back to reality, and oh wait, that’s someone’s chest.

Scratch that, that is someone’s bare chest. His mind momentarily falters because fuck, he can feel the hard outline of abs even with the thick fabric of his- or well, Seokjin’s- hoodie separating them, and the hint of sunlight that was starting to brighten the room got caught on a piece of silver peeking out from their lower abdomen- oh fuck, that’s a piercing. And now his brain is supplying him with vivid images of hips rocking into him, piercing catching the light every so often, sweaty abs rolling and clenching as the other reached their climax. 

Sex had never been something Jeongguk really cared about. After months, nearly three years of being used like a rag doll by far too old men and men cheating on their wives and men with a lack of care for anyone but themselves, Jeongguk had lost the appeal for sex. But as he’s seated on this man’s lap, abs on full display, a feeling of warmth and security and firmness engulfing him, he can’t help but feel hot, and not just because of his fever.

Jeongguk lets out a little moan akin to a whimper, thinking he only made the noise in his head but he didn’t. He just moaned out loud.

“Jeonggukah?” A voice snapped him out of his trance- Seokjin’s voice- and he freezes, realizing that Seokjin just heard him moan out loud. “You okay?”

“Head hurts.” He grimaced at how raw his throat felt, the grittiness of his voice a foreign sound to his ears. Seokjin hums in understanding, and gently scoots Jeongguk off his lap, disappearing into the hallway for a minute and then coming back with a small bottle in hand. When he comes back, Jeongguk’s able to see all of him in the now brightly lit room, and he’s convinced he’s died and gone to heaven. He feels like a horny teenager with a stupid crush- which he is, but he isn’t willing to admit that- but how could he not when that was right in front of him?

Seokjin clearly just got out of the shower, damp hair sticking to his forehead and a dewy sheen coating his body. He’s shirtless, with a pair of gray sweatpants hanging loosely off his waist, the beginnings of his defined v-line on full display. His abs were perfectly sculpted, looking hard and firm to the touch. A piercing is nestled in his skin just above his belly button, the other end a pointed tip emerging from the hole. Jeongguk’s brain is practically short-circuiting, and it takes him a moment to see the hands that were outstretched in front of him, holding two white pills and a bottle of water. He takes the items with trembling hands, hoping that Seokjin would see his shakiness as just a side effect of him being sick and not the fact that he’s flustered as fuck and would probably die if he so much made eye contact.

The rest of the morning became more bearable once the pills were downed and Seokjin had put on a shirt, still oblivious to his effect on the younger. The two made breakfast in relative silence, the only sound being the background music coming from Seokjin’s phone. Jeongguk had taken on the task of cutting up the fruit, while Seokjin made kimchi fried rice and egg rolls. By the time they were done, everyone was in the kitchen, the aroma of the delicious rice and Seokjin’s specialty coffee having woken them up. 

Jeongguk was distracted the whole meal, his mind replaying the image of Seokjin in the early morning on repeat. What was even worse was that his mind was also replaying his sex fantasy, with Seokjin’s face attached. He felt so bad, having someone who had so kindly taken him under his care sitting right next to him, smiling and chatting away and clearly trying to form some kind of friendship with Jeongguk, while he’s zoned out thinking about getting absolutely railed by him.

“Jeonggukah, you okay? You seem a little pale there. Is the medicine I gave you earlier not working?” Jeongguk yelped, immediately going in panic mode.

“I’m fine, Seokjin-ssi!” Seokjin was suspicious, an eyebrow raised at the younger’s sudden change in demeanor, but he leaves him be. The rest of breakfast goes by without another hitch, and Jeongguk is relieved for that.

But just when Jeongguk thought he was free from the gay depths of his mind, Taehyung came along.

Taehyung had scampered off to his room to play video games, but not before asking Jeongguk if he wanted to tag along. Jeongguk, who’s never played a video game in his life, agreed out of curiosity, and that’s how he found himself with Taehyung practically wrapped around him, Jeongguk’s back to Taehyung’s front, his shoulder digging into the elder’s chest.

“So then you press this button to check your inventory, but don’t spend too long in there, especially if you’re out in the open. Then to switch weapons, press this and scroll with this knob.” Taehyung’s large hands are covering Jeongguk’s as they work the controls together, and Jeongguk feels impossibly small in Taehyung’s loose hold. Everything’s driving him insane- how close they are, how big Taehyung’s hands are, the veins lining the surface of his arms, how warm he is, how deep his voice is, how his chest has a low rumbling feel when he laughs, how unbelievably handsome he is. Jeongguk’s certain he’s going to faint at one point, catching a whiff of the elder’s cologne and now holy fuck he smells so good how does he smell so good is the only thought running rampantly through Jeongguk’s head. 

Thankfully, it isn’t long until Taehyung leaves his side, saying he has some coursework he wants to complete. He takes a seat on his bed which is only a few feet away from Jeongguk, and gets started on his work, stealing glances of the younger every so often. To Taehyung’s surprise, Jeongguk is a natural at the game, flawlessly powering through levels and obstacles like it was his second job, and Taehyung’s sounds of amazements and shock are what’s fueling Jeongguk, and soon enough, the teenager beats Taehyung’s high score in just a few tries. 

Time flew by and before Jeongguk knew it, it was dinner time and he was back with the six others, poking and prodding at his plate full of food. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to eat it, it was that he couldn’t. His stomach felt like it would burst at any second, the wave of nausea too heavy to be able to keep anything down. Seokjin was understanding though, and wrapped up what he couldn’t eat to save for later. 

And now Jeongguk’s on his makeshift bed on the couch, thoroughly invested in the show Seokjin had put on the TV. His curious eyes would widen as he watched the drama unfold, little gasps and sounds of frustration leaving his lips at the action. While the others were watching the show as well, Jimin and Seokjin were mostly watching Jeongguk, trying not to laugh and awe at the reactions the younger would have. And when Jeongguk started to drift off to sleep, Jimin took a few photos, feeling so endeared by how Jeongguk curled up into his tiniest form possible,  pouted lips parted open as the faintest of snores escaped from his mouth. 

————

The next day was start of the week, Monday, meaning that the six older men would be in and out of the house, busy with work, school, and errands for the next five days. Jeongguk had learned that they were all university students- while Hoseok, Seokjin, and Taehyung had attended classes entirely on campus, the other three had a mix of online and on campus classes. 

Seokjin was the first one to leave in the early hours of the day, dressed in a casual fit consisting of a hoodie and loose fitting jeans. 

Jeongguk, who was already awake due to his sickness and the faint sounds of Seokjin moving around pulling him from his restless sleep, greeted Seokjin in a sleepy daze, his slurred words still polite despite being laced with sleep. Seokjin laughed endearingly, placing the blanket that had fallen off the couch back on Jeongguk. 

“I’ll be going straight to work after my last class today, and I probably won’t be back until late. Yoongi’s gonna be the last to leave, he doesn’t have classes today but he has work, but I think Taehyung will be home shortly after he leaves. Will you be okay?” He asked Jeongguk without looking at him, too focused on tying his snow boots up. Jeongguk nods, a little slowly since he’s still sleepy, before realizing Seokjin wasn’t looking at him.

“Yes, Seokjin-ssi.” Seokjin looks at him, a soft, fond smile on his face. 

“Okay. If you get hungry or thirsty, feel free to help yourself. You can watch TV too, although there’s not really anything good on Mondays.” And with that, Seokjin’s out the door, the faint hums of his car engine fading as he drove away. 

He falls back asleep fairly easily, but then he’s woken up by the sounds of two voices this time. 

Jimin and Taehyung were both rummaging through the kitchen for a quick and easy breakfast, clearly being conscious of their volume- but the closing of doors and clattering of utensils still bounced off the walls. 

Taehyung gets ready first, waiting for Jimin in the small foyer of the house. By the time he had come out, Jeongguk was fully awake, his head starting to pound with the growing brightness of the room. Taehyung was kind enough to get him some painkillers, and decided to strike up a conversation with the younger while waiting for Jimin.

Jeongguk learned that Taehyung was a visual arts major, with courses in photography and the fine arts, and the younger was intrigued by the elder’s work, Taehyung proudly showcasing his latest project off. 

“The concept was dark abstract, so I tried my best to capture sort of a feeling of loneliness, of emptiness using sort of dark colors shadowed by their lighter counterparts. It’s a weird and unique contrast, but I think it works. What do you think, Ggukah? Did I do it?”

And Jeongguk could not understand art to save his life, couldn’t even begin to decipher the meaning behind a piece of work even with a full, detailed backstory from the artist themselves- but when he saw the way Taehyung’s eyes gleamed as he spoke of his painting, the way his smiled shone brighter than the sun as he pointed to the various blobs of color and shadow on the canvas, Jeongguk couldn’t help the words that escaped his mouth. 

“Yes! I can totally see it, Taehyung-ssi!” He grins. Jimin chooses that moment to walk in, swinging his bag over his shoulder with a laugh. 

“Yah, the poor kid probably has no fucking clue what you just said, Taehyungie,” Jimin says as he sits down on the bench to put on his boots. Jeongguk feels a heat rise up his cheeks as Taehyung looks at him, amused, face showing no signs of disappointment to Jeongguk’s relief. 

“One of these days, I’m gonna find someone who understands me.” The elder brunette sighs dramatically, gazing into the distance in a mockingly longing way. Jimin just pokes and tickles his side and immediately Taehyung is giggling and squirming away, and Jeongguk feels a pang of envy surge through him.

He hasn’t had someone to call a friend since his life on the streets began, the closest being Seokjin. The past three years have been a lonely experience for him, filled with nameless men- and sometimes women- that would use him for a night or two and then toss him away like he was a broken doll past its life. 

Jeongguk figured out that Jimin was a psychology major, barely understanding half of what Jimin was talking about when he engaged in a conversation with Taehyung about some assignment that he had due that day, but he could pick out the bits and pieces that clued in together to Jimin’s major. Jeongguk was interested, drawn to the way Jimin grew animated when he was talking about something he had such a passion about. 

Sadly, Jimin and Taehyung had to leave before they were late, so Jeongguk was left alone in the quiet house once again.

Namjoon and Hoseok were the next two awake, but they didn’t have to leave for a while, so they sat in the kitchen in silence, chipping away at steaming mugs of coffee and large bowls of cereal. Hoseok kindly asked Jeongguk if he wanted something to eat, and the brunette declined, not wanting to impose but Hoseok was insistent, and so Jeongguk ended up seated next to him, indulging in a bowl of his own. 

They chat leisurely, mostly about mundane topics, and then soon enough it’s just Namjoon and Jeongguk, Hoseok leaving the kitchen to take a shower. Since Hoseok carried most of the conversation, the two others fell into a comfortable silence, Namjoon reading the book he had brought in and Jeongguk unsubtly watching the elder read.

“You know English?” Jeongguk asked, amazed when he saw that the pages were all in English. 

“Yeah, I’ve been taking classes.” Namjoon admits sheepishly, hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he averted his shy gaze from Jeongguk. It was comical really, how the both of them were so shy around each other for such completely different reasons.

“Could, could you teach me? Just like a word or two?” And Jeongguk would’ve ate his arm and sold his soul again and again if it meant that he got to see the dimpled smile that spread across Namjoon’s face in that moment for the rest of his life. 

“Of course! Any specific words you’d like to know?”

“What’s your favorite word?”

“Oh, that is an interesting question, Jeonggukah.” Namjoon’s eyes look up as he mentally searches his brain, several words racing for a spot at the front of the stream of thoughts. Only one won the race. 

“Well, I like this one word, pardon. It’s versatile really, you can use it in the place of excuse me, like when you bump into someone on accident and you want to apologize, right? Or, you can use it like, excuse me? Like when someone says something, and you look at them like, you wanna repeat that? Oh! Or, like, I’m sorry, but and then whatever you wanna say. There’s only so many uses for it.”

“Par-don.” Jeongguk’s lips jut out as he enunciates the word, his doe, bambi-like eyes widening as he looked to Namjoon for confirmation and reassurance, an endearing, adorable sight for the older man. 

“Yes!”

“Pardon!”

“You can add me too, it means me. So pardon me is essentially, excuse me. But even just pardon by itself can be like, what? Like, pardon?”

“Pardon?”

“Yes! You’re a natural, kid. Unfortunately, I have to get ready for class and work, but maybe later I can teach you more?” 

Jeongguk eagerly nodded, and with another one of his signature smiles, Namjoon left, leaving Jeongguk alone to mumble the new word to himself again and again. 

Now, Jeongguk found out about Namjoon’s major the hard way- literally. 

When Jeongguk first saw Namjoon in his work attire, he nearly fainted.

He learns that Namjoon is currently studying law and works as a paralegal for one of Seoul’s most prestigious law firms, which was why his attire was so elegant, so attractive.

Namjoon was in a white long sleeved button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the bottom of his shirt tucked into black slacks, a navy blue tie and a gold watch bringing together the whole look. He ditched his contacts that day for his glasses, giving him a much more sophisticated- and in Jeongguk’s opinion, sexier- feel to his look. His light brown hair is slicked back, styled to perfection. The look is so simple, yet so intricate, and it has Jeongguk positively dizzy as he watches Namjoon put his shoes on by the door from where he was sitting on the couch, the faint smell of Namjoon’s perfume still lingering in the air even moments after he passed. 

And when Namjoon shoots him a dimpled smile and a goodbye Jeonggukah before leaving, Jeongguk’s convinced he’s died and gone to heaven because it is physically impossible for a human being to be that fucking perfect.  

He shifts, feeling a tight pressure in his crotch, and that’s when he registers that he had gotten hard just from seeing Namjoon. Embarrassed, he quickly hid away in the bathroom, running a cold shower and willing his erection away. 

Hoseok had afternoon classes on Mondays, so he didn’t leave until later in the day. Curious, he asked Hoseok what he was studying, learning that the elder was a dance major. Jeongguk admitted he had been a dancer when he was younger, taking hip hop lessons as a child. The redhead was excited to hear that, begging to see some of the younger’s moves, but Jeongguk shies away, saying he hadn’t danced in years, and that was true- he hadn’t danced since his parents took him out of lessons at the young age of 13.

Before long, their conversation had ended and Hoseok had left, so Jeongguk decided to take a nap. He wasn’t tired, persay, but he knew his body needed as much rest as it could get before he was inevitably kicked out and back to living on the streets again, so he closed his eyes, curling up under the blanket Seokjin had provided him. 

After nearly half an hour of trying to fall asleep, he gave up, deciding to watch some random drama instead. 

Yoongi had came out sometime in the middle of the show. Jeongguk had barely registered his presence, to engrossed in the drama to notice the faint shuffling beside him. 

He nearly startled when Yoongi came into his peripheral vision, completely forgetting he was still there. 

“Uh, hey kid.” The ravenette grunts out, awkwardly standing in the foyer. His large hand was holding his boots by the openings, his other one wrapped around his coat and bag. Jeongguk’s eyes drifted down to them, the sight of the pale skin lined with veins eliciting a tingling feeling deep inside him. He tries to shake it off, but apparently his mind hates him- suddenly there are vivid images of these very same hands wrapped around his neck, a sly smirk curling up the corner of Yoongi’s lips. 

Jeongguk’s fucked.

“Good morning, Yoongi-ssi!” Jeongguk said a little too enthusiastically, anxiety spiking just from the fantasy that’s running rampant in his mind of the one man who didn’t want him around in the first place. 

“Uh, the others left?”

“Yup!”

“Uh, cool. Um, I got work, so… Yeah.” The don’t do anything you’ll regret was left unsaid, but Jeongguk heard the message loud and clear, his lips pressed into a thin line. 

“Have a good day, Yoongi-ssi!”

“Yeah.” And for the final time that day, Jeongguk was left alone, pondering on how the hell did he end up in a house with six equally handsome and amazing men. 

Just as Seokjin had said, Taehyung was the first one home, just moments after Yoongi had left.

“Normally, Jimin and I leave and come home together, since our schedules line up pretty closely and Jimin can’t drive, but he has some thing with his friends so he’ll come home later. Just you and me, Ggukah. You hungry?”

It was like his stomach had ears, because it had chosen to make a loud, rumbling noise, making Taehyung look at him with an amused smile. 

“Ramen?”

————

The next day, Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon were home until the late afternoon. Namjoon spent most of his morning in the living room, nursing a cup of coffee while completely engrossed in yet another English book, and Taehyung and Jimin were hiding away in their shared room.

Jeongguk had gone to the bathroom, which was right next to Jimin and Taehyung’s room. He didn’t mean to, but when he left, he peeked through the wide open door of the room in curiosity and saw Jimin painting Taehyung’s nails a deep purple color, the two of them deep in conversation. He was fascinated, eyes fixated on the way the paint layered on the nails. 

Taehyung’s the one who spots him first, since Jimin had his back to the door.

“Want yours painted?” Taehyung smiles, and Jeongguk’s startled at first, realizing belatedly that Taehyung’s eyes were on him. He timidly nods, sitting down, eyeing the various assortment of colors in the box next to Jimin.

“Take your pick.” 

Jeongguk’s eyes land on a color, and he’s immediately drawn to it. It’s a pretty pink color that wasn’t too intense, a pastel tone to it. His fingers hover over the bottle, looking to Jimin with questioning eyes for silent permission. A smile spreads across the elder’s face as he nods, and Jeongguk takes the bottle. 

As soon as Jimin’s done with Taehyung’s last finger, he closes the bottle, and takes Jeongguk’s choice, patting the now empty spot in front of him. 

Jimin’s hand is warm as it wraps around Jeongguk’s, and Jeongguk’s heart is instantly fluttering at the touch. Taehyung’s talking about some painting one of his professors was discussing, Jimin chiming in at random intervals with hmms and uh huhs. Jeongguk’s too focused on Jimin to even listen in- the way Jimin’s delicate fingers are holding his, the pout of his plump lips as he lightly blew on the polish, the loose strands of hair falling just over his eyes. Everything about Jimin was delicate, pretty, soft.

“What do you think?” And Jeongguk’s snapped out of his trance and his attention goes to his freshly painted nails. They’re pretty, the color reminding him of cotton candy. 

“Pretty.” Jeongguk says as he smiles. He was mostly talking about the nails, but when he sees the smile that spreads across Jimin’s face, and the sparkles that shone in Jimin’s captivating eyes, he decides that yeah, he’s pretty too.

“Why, thank you, honey, I think you’re rather pretty as well.”

Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s ever been as red as he had in that moment.

———

Four days after they had met Jeongguk, Jimin was raving about a new game he had discovered on his phone, telling Taehyung all about it like his words were being sponsored by the company. Jeongguk had overheard the conversation, curious eyes watching the screen from behind Jimin when he played. 

“Jeonggukah, try!” Without another word, Jimin placed his phone in Jeongguk’s hand, the teenager looking at the device like it was the most priceless diamond in the world. Hesitant fingers pressed on the screen, eyes widening when the screen changed in an instant, and he met Jimin’s confused gaze.

“What?”

“I um, I don’t, I, uh, I never... had one of these,” his cheeks are burning red as he spoke, feeling shy under the shocked gazes of Jimin and Taehyung. 

“An iPhone?”

“Well, a phone, really.”

“What? God, I would die if I had to live without my phone.” Jeongguk giggles, then suddenly there’s Jimin’s body heat next to him, the elder taking it upon himself to teach Jeongguk all about his iPhone.

They’re close, so close, and Jeongguk’s starting to grow delirious because Jimin smells so fucking good and he’s so warm .

Jeongguk’s barely paying attention to anything Jimin is saying or showing, instead lost in the melodic giggles and tender touches, in the way Jimin’s voice grew animated as he spoke and showed the different apps and their functions, and the smooth, velvety melody of his voice as he sang along to a few songs he played. 

“Hey Jeonggukah?” He asked suddenly, pausing the music. Jeongguk snapped out of his Jimin induced haze, and his brain momentarily stutters when his eyes locked with Jimin’s captivating orbs. He can see the other’s lips moving, but he can’t hear anything but the pounding of his own heart in his ears. His mind is completely blank, lost in the trance of Jimin’s eyes and Jimin’s smell and Jimin’s voice and Jimin’s hands and Jimin.

So he says the only word he can think of.

“Pardon?”

“Learning English from our little Joonie, I see.” Jimin’s grin is amused as he brings up the elder, the hint of redness that crept onto Jeongguk’s cheeks was hidden by the faint flush of his fever ridden skin, but he still felt the separate heat all the same. 

“Oh, yes, Jimin-ssi, I am.”

“Our Joonie sure is smart. So Jeonggukah, as I was saying, I have a question.” Jeongguk perked up, curious. 

“What is it?”

“How old are you?”

“Oh, um…” He took a moment to think. Had his birthday already passed? What day was it? What month was it? “What’s today?”

“December 10th… Why?”

“Then I should be eighteen, I think.”

Jeongguk’s confused as to why Jimin’s eyes grew so wide it was almost comical. But before he question why the blonde had looked so shocked, Jimin cleared his throat and changed his expression. 

“So um, have you heard of Stray Kids?”

————

That night Jimin called a meeting with his boyfriends shortly after Jeongguk fell asleep. 

“So, what’s this about?”

“I wanna talk about Jeongguk.” At the mention of his name, the five other men grew animated, smiles and various sounds of approval and happiness filling the air. 

“Oh my god, I’m obsessed with him. He’s like a little puppy!” 

“He’s been coming to me, asking to learn a new English word each day. He’s cute honestly, I can’t stop smiling with him.”

“He definitely has a crush on me.”

“Yah, Taehyungah, be a little less cocky for once, will you?”

“I have a crush on you.” Taehyung looks at the owner of the voice, his expression unamused despite the cheeky, crescent eyed grin that was on the elder’s face. 

“Jiminie, we’re literally dating.”

“And? I can’t have a crush on my boyfriend?”

“Okay, anyway, back to the topic here.”

“I don’t know how I feel about kicking Jeonggukah out like, ever. Guys, he’s only 18! 18!”

“18? Shit, I knew he was younger than me but I was putting him at like 19.”

“He’s so young, too young to be living on the streets. And god, he’s just too sweet and kind and pure and I don’t like it one bit. Who knows how many creepy people there are out there? What if they all take advantage of him?”

“Shit… That would mean he’s been homeless since he was a teenager basically. ‘Cause I doubt he’s new at that, I can tell he’s been out there for a while, over a year maybe.”

“That’s so sad! He’s so young, I mean, he’s in the generation that is so technologically advanced we have cars that can drive themselves, and he didn’t even know what a fucking iPhone was! Hyungs, we have to keep him!”

“Well, we have the space for it.”

They certainly did have the space for it- the six men live in a fairly decent house. It wasn’t the most luxurious by any means, but it was home, and by splitting their bills six-way, they were able to save a lot of money. 

The house was relatively spacious, with the typical living room, dining room, and a decently sized kitchen that had a little table in the corner. There’s another room just off the kitchen, with glass sliding doors that led to the back patio and the backyard. The room’s purpose changed over time- first being a storage room with random boxes that they never bothered to unpack when they moved in scattered all over the place. Then it became a makeshift office for whenever one of the six needed a quiet space to work, a much needed change of scene from the usual chaos that occurred whenever all six of them were together. Then lastly, a game room, with a table in the corner that became the home of several of their game nights. 

After that, they realized that there was still a bunch of space in there, so over time, more purposes were added to the room. Taehyung converted one of the corners into a makeshift art studio- there’s an old desk covered in splashes of colorful paint, an easel, and storage with a collection of art supplies. Then Hoseok installed a full length ceiling to floor mirror on one of the walls, and so part of the room also effectively became his home dance studio. In the little space that remained, some gym equipment was put there.

“He could stay in the spare room.” 

The place had four bedrooms and two bathrooms. The group split off into pairs for the rooms when they first moved in nearly two years ago- Namjoon and Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok, and Taehyung and Jimin- and decided to use the fourth bedroom as a spare storage space. When the group started becoming more than just friends a little over a year ago, sleeping in their own beds became a rare sight, Yoongi and Namjoon being the only two who did the most. The youngest two, the eldest, and Hoseok were constantly looking for someone to cuddle, almost always ending up in someone else’s bed each night. Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok shared a bathroom, and the younger three shared the other, and that’s how their arrangement’s been from the first day they moved in together. They were more than satisfied. 

“So we agree? We’re letting him stay indefinitely?”

Chapter Text

Grey clouds loomed over the quiet town of Busan, the sky a dark and gloomy shadow. The sun’s blanketed by the smoggy layers, unable to reach the ground with its warm rays. It’s bound to rain any second now, air humid and heavy, prepared for the impending wetness ready to course through it. 

Yet, despite the melancholy ambience and the approaching darkness, Jeongguk’s never felt happier in his life. 

Because as he’s walking under these very same clouds, there’s a warmth next to him, a ray of light, a shining star. It’s brighter than anything he’s ever seen, warmer than anything he’s ever felt. 

That same light is currently holding his hand, chattering away about a new group that had just debuted that day. His other hand is energetic, gestures complementing his lively words as he spoke. It’s something Jeongguk loved about him, the way he grew so happy and animated when he talked about something he’s passionate about. 

But Jeongguk isn’t paying attention to the conversation, not at all, because all he can think about is the warmth- the fluttering butterflies in his stomach, the additional beat of his heart each second, the giddy feeling in his chest that’s shown with a permanent smile on his face. 

They come to a stop outside Jeongguk’s house, and neither of them want to let go of the other. They don’t know where they stand, to be honest. They’re not boyfriends, but they crossed the friendship line ages ago. Yet they don’t want to risk it, don’t want to risk slapping a label on what they have when they don’t want to, don’t want to risk losing that ray of sunshine that takes away from the rainy darknesses of their separate lives. 

They’re happy when they’re together, and that’s all they could ever need. They don’t need confirmation, or labels- they just need each other.

But maybe they wanted more. And maybe it was time for more. 

“Hey, Jeongguk, I… Can I try something?” And despite the hesitation that’s oozing from the other’s voice, Jeonggguk can still see the love and sincerity etched on the other’s face. He trusts him. So he nods. 

“Sure, hyung.” 

And before he knew it, there are lips pressed against his, and that fluttering feeling is heightened, his heart is beating faster, and his hands are gripping at the other’s shirt, the material bunched in his balled fists. He never wanted to let go, never wanted to pull apart- for the first time in his entire life, he felt like he was on top of the world.

But all that’s cut short- with a yell. 

“Jeon fucking Jeongguk!” A voice bellowed, and the two jumped apart, Jeongguk’s heart instantly sinking to his guts. He just wanted one more second, one more moment of blissful oblivion where he could pretend that his life wasn’t a piece of shit.

“Hyung, you should go,” he gulped, already knowing what was to come. He was no stranger to it- the anger dripping from his father’s voice, the slurring of his words, the harsh stares and unforgiving hands. 

And now he’s left alone, left vulnerable and open for his father to batter, to hurt, to destroy. 

“What the fuck did I just see?” His father seethed once Jeongguk had gotten inside, slamming the door being him. The loud, sudden noise had caused the teen to jump, wide, teary eyes staring up at the man he used to idolize. 

When had he become like this?

“Dad-“

“You disgust me! Kissing another man? And you call yourself my son?” 

“It won’t happen again, I’m sorry!” 

“I won’t have no son of mine be a fucking disgrace to my name!” The man is unbuckling his belt now, the leather material making a sickening sound as it snapped against itself, Jeongguk flinching in response. 

“Dad, please-“

Smack.

Jeongguk woke up with a start, chest heaving and eyes stinging, his hand flying up to his cheek. The phantom sting of his father’s harsh touch was still lingering on his skin, a feeling Jeongguk had never forgotten. 

It’s pitch black, and Jeongguk can just barely make out the analog clock in the dim glow of the moonlight- it’s approaching three in the morning.

His throat closed up on a choked sob, and that’s it- the dams are broken, there’s tears streaming down his face. He felt sick to his stomach, despite all symptoms of the sickness he was stricken with nearing their end at this point. 

He could feel the impending wave of sick settling at the core of his stomach. His feet carried him on autopilot the all too familiar path to the bathroom, and Jeongguk just about made it to the toilet in time. His stomach is emptied into the porcelain in no time, but his eyes aren’t, fresh tears streaming down his face as the memories of his father come crashing onto him. 

Suddenly he can’t breathe, his vision is blurry, and his heart is slamming against his ribcage, eager to get out. His mind is fuzzy, hazy, but still, his father’s anger shone a bright red light in his eyes- and now, red’s all he can see. There’s the feelings of hands around his neck, but there’s no one but him in the bathroom. He’s taking in strangled gasps of air, clawing at his neck, the ghost-like feeling of his father’s hands clouding his mind. 

There’s one thing, one remedy Jeongguk had always turned to when he got like this, something that helped him cope with the thoughts that plagued his mind. 

And he knew exactly where to find them, being familiar with the bathroom by now. 

Jeongguk didn’t care- he just wanted that familiar burn, that pain of the sharp edge against his skin to take away the phantom touch of his father, to distract him from the harboring emotions teetering between insanity and emptiness. 

His most recent scars were a faint pink now. He hadn’t brought a blade to his skin in a while, not since the day Seokjin brought him in. Honestly, he was feeling so great and so happy for once that the thoughts dissipated for a while, and the urge nulled down enough to be satisfied with the simple digging of his nails into his skin. 

But now that wouldn’t suffice- he needed that pain. 

As he painted his skin with the deep crimson red, his mind began to calm, the hands on his body went away, the thoughts settled into a dull drone of background noise in his mind, and his breathing’s back to normal. Jeongguk’s heart is still thumping away in his chest, drumming to a beat that would put musicians to shame. 

He doesn’t feel panicked anymore, just a strangely calm wave of tranquility washing over him as he watched the blood drip out of his fresh cuts. Eventually, he stops bleeding, and the brunette takes it as his cue to clean up and leave. 

He looks at the razor he took apart in his blind haste, feeling a little guilty as he throws it in the trash and uses crumpled up tissues to cover it up. The blade’s still on the counter, catching the harsh glare of the fluorescent lightbulb. It’s calling his name again, taunting him to yield more destruction to himself. Jeongguk doesn’t give in though, just puts the blade in a hiding spot where he prayed to god that the others wouldn’t look. He’s caused enough trouble for them already.

Jeongguk’s feet barely lift off the ground as he walks back, body suddenly exhausted from his breakdown. Even in the darkness, he finds his way back to the couch easily. He feels Gureum poke his side, and he grabs the stuffed dog, holding it close to his chest. There’s more tears slipping out of his eyes, threatening to dampen his pillow, but he wipes at them and blinks the remaining away, and within seconds of his head hitting the couch, he drifts back into the darkness. 

The rise of the sun introduced the start of the weekend to the group, and the six elder men are all up, unusually early and eager, ready to disclose the news to the youngest and soon to be newest resident of their house. Jeongguk’s still fast asleep with his face buried in Gureum, unbeknownst to the warm glows of oranges and yellows spilling through the open blinds. Rays of light caught on the highly decorated Christmas tree standing tall in the corner of the room, illuminating the tinsel and catching on the reflective ornaments, giving the tree a festive, radiant glow. 

The other men are chatting animatedly yet quietly, cautious not to tug the brunette from his slumber no matter how desperately they wanted to see the cute, sparkling bambi eyes they had all grown attached to over the past week. Even Yoongi was a little excited, but he was the most composed of them all, only letting a few smiles slip out here and there. 

Yoongi and Seokjin were hard at work, making breakfast for their younger boyfriends and Jeongguk. Jimin was seated on Taehyung’s lap facing him, head resting on the younger’s shoulder, sleep still tugging at his eyes. Taehyung’s stealing kisses occasionally, barely paying attention to his other boyfriends- how could he when he had the cutest sight in front of him? A pouty, messy-haired, tired boyfriend rubbing his sleepy eyes with the tiniest fists possible?

Yeah, he’s gonna die.  

And while Taehyung is cooing and aweing over his tiny boyfriend, Hoseok and Namjoon are in some lively discussion, debating something that was actually quite simple- what defines a sandwich?

“A sandwich is anything plastered between two slices of bread, it’s quite simple, Hobi.” Namjoon doesn’t look up from his phone, lips connecting to the rim of his coffee mug. The elder can’t see, but they’re curled up into an amused grin, an indent implanting itself in his cheek. 

“Well, that just completely eradicates the validity of wraps and hot dogs as sandwiches.” Yoongi snorted, shooting a knowing look at Seokjin and then Taehyung, both of them giving him pleased grins in return. Their two boyfriends could be quite an entertaining show when put together, since they could honestly take the most mundane of topics and turn them into full-fledged debates. More often than not, it ended in laughter for the others and the two same-age boyfriends pouting and avoiding each other for no more than a few hours. 

“Actually, according to the internet, a sandwich is defined as two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between. So technically, wraps don’t count.”

“You know, interestingly enough, ravioli could be considered a sandwich. Oh, or dumplings!” 

“Are you two seriously having a debate over this?” Seokjin huffed, setting the beginnings of the large assortment of food on the table. 

“Let them be, it’s their love language.” Yoongi lets out an amused chuckle, grabbing the various chopsticks and spoons the group would need to dive in. 

“Who’s waking up Jeongguk?” There’s a mixture of protesters and volunteers among the group, divided in waking up the starry eyed teen and letting him sleep. 

“Ugh hyung, he looks so cute! He’s holding on to the little dog with tiny hands! Do we have to?” 

“He needs to eat, Hoseokah.” Seokjin looked at Hoseok with a raised eyebrow, and the younger begrudgingly volunteers, walking over to the sleeping figure. He gets down on one knee, first taking a second to admire the sleeping beauty. Jeongguk looked peaceful, a faint snore rumbling out of his chest. There’s a gentle crease in between his brows before the skin smooths back out again, and Jeongguk shifts, nuzzling his nose into the stuffed white dog. It’s an endearing sight, one that has Hoseok cooing. 

Gentle fingers threaded through Jeongguk’s locks, the brunette stirring with a quiet hum, eyes fluttering open as he blinked away the blurriness of his sleep-induced haze. The elder’s feather light touch drifted to the rise of Jeongguk’s cheekbone, softly stroking at the skin there. Finally, the brunette’s eyes are open, and Hoseok feels his heart flutter with warmth when he sees the sparkling, galaxy filled eyes he had become absolutely besotted with. 

“Morning, sunshine.” The redhead’s earth-shattering smile is bright and radiant, but Jeongguk makes no move to get up, instead burrowing back under the covers with a soft groan.

“Aw, none of that. It’s time to eat!” Hoseok reaches for Jeongguk’s wrists, and the second his hands wrap around the thin limbs, Jeongguk instantly recoils, the brushing of the sleeves against his fresh wounds too painful for him. Hoseok let out a yelp as he jumps back in surprise, the both of them staring at each other with wide eyes. The commotion in the kitchen dies down promptly, curious eyes peering into the vast expanse of the living room. 

“I’m sorry, Hoseok-ssi, I just… Bad dream.” Jeongguk lied, sounding as apologetic as he could, and for a second he thinks the frown on Hoseok’s face is directed at him, his lie being about as transparent as a window- then his bottom lip juts out and the frown’s redirected into a pout.

“I’m so sorry you had a bad dream, baby. Come, Seokie will make it all better!” Jeongguk’s pulled into a hug, shock freezing him in the elder’s embrace. It’s still a weird feeling, going so long without being hugged that it was almost a foreign concept, and then being thrown into a house with possibly the most tactile people he’s ever met. He doesn’t mind it though, finding it quite nice to be wrapped in a pair of arms without the ulterior motive being to get in his pants. 

Gureum’s still clutched tightly in his hand as he’s led into the kitchen by Hoseok where the others are waiting. Jeongguk’s immediately pulled into Seokjin’s side, the elder brunette in a particularly clingy mood that day. Seokjin sets a plate in front of him, a small smile on his face as he handed Jeongguk his chopsticks and spoon. Jeongguk takes the utensils, but makes no move to eat.  He’s quiet, despite the lively atmosphere erupting around him. Plates are being passed around, coffee and tea are being poured into different mugs, words and smiles are being exchanged, carried with the harmony of laughter. 

Jeongguk just sits Gureum in his lap, toying with the animal’s paws. With the nightmare still fresh in his mind, there’s a tingling feeling prickling underneath old wounds, a distinct memory that still plagues him. He can feel his anxiety creeping into his veins, clawing at his chest and he needs to get out, because Seokjin’s once comforting hand on his thigh was now an unwanted touch, the loose fabric against his skin felt too tight, and the icy tendrils of panic squeezing his lungs was relentless.

Seokjin was the first to notice. Then Jimin, who nudged Taehyung, and soon, Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi could sense the tension in the air. The room fell silent, and all eyes landed on Jeongguk. 

“Jeonggukah, are you alright? You’re not still sick, are you?”

Jeongguk’s still quiet, eyes unfocused and glossed over. The others all exchange worried glances, unfamiliar with the strange behavior the youngest was exhibiting.

“Jeongguk?” A tear slips out of the corner of his eye and suddenly, everyone’s on edge, concerned and worried. Seokjin’s hand comes up to wipe away at the tear, but something unexpected happens- Jeongguk flinches.

“Please don’t hurt me,” the younger brunette whimpered, suddenly curling on himself. Seokjin just looked at his boyfriends, speechless, clueless as to what to do. 

“Jeongguk, no one’s gonna hurt you,” Yoongi speaks up, voice as smooth as honey and oozing with concern. 

“Please…” Jeongguk whimpers out, and then suddenly, he bursts into tears. The others are looking at each other in shock, unsure of what had gotten the youngest so worked up and paranoid. He was curled up into the smallest form he could muster, trembling even as he willed himself to calm down. Gureum is getting the brunt of his squeezes, a grounding comfort in the form of stuffing and fake fur. 

“Jeonggukah, are you having an anxiety attack?” Jimin questioned without hesitation, Jeongguk only nodding in response, not trusting his voice. 

“Okay, everyone back up, we shouldn’t crowd him.” The others scoot away, and Jimin sits next to him, gently taking Jeongguk’s hand in his. He smiles gently at the younger, who’s still crying, only now his tears are only silent streams on his face. 

“Can I hug you, Ggukie?” Jeongguk nods, and Jimin wraps an arm around him- loosely, not enough to feel like it’s suffocating the younger, but Jeongguk takes the initiative and wraps his arms around the blonde, and Jimin’s pulling him into a tight hug. His fingers go up to play with Jeongguk’s hair, remembering how the younger had liked it one night, falling asleep mere minutes later. 

Eventually, Jimin’s ministrations lulled Jeongguk to sleep, his head drooping forward. The elder lifted him up and carried him to the couch, making sure Gureum was safely tucked in his arms before pulling the blanket over him. 

“Poor thing,” Jimin says once he returns to his boyfriends. 

“He thought I was gonna hurt him.” Seokjin sounded defeated, hunching in on himself. It’s Namjoon who reaches him first, pulling the elder into his chest. Namjoon’s hugs were, to put it simply- an ardent embrace, feeling like the gentle kiss of sun rays on exposed skin, like a calm breeze floating through a meadow of sunflowers. Namjoon was comfort embodied.

“He wasn’t himself, it’s clear he was not mentally aware of where he was or who he was with. There’s a strong possibility Jeongguk experienced something traumatic enough to garner that level of dissociation-“

“Jimin.” Yoongi cuts the younger off, a fond smile on his face beaming at his boyfriend.

“Right, no psychology talk at breakfast, sorry, I get carried away-”

“You’re adorable when you go all therapist on us,” the musician coos, mussing up Jimin’s already untamed locks. 

“Yoongi hyung!” Jimin yelped as the elder kissed his cheek, skin flushing a faint red. 

“Alright, well, let’s finish eating, shall we?”

----

When Jeongguk woke up, he was surprised to feel the weight of arms wrapped around him and faint snores coming from behind him. His mind’s a hazy, incomprehensible mess at first, thoughts and memories fleeting and jumbled, crashing into each other, confusing him. For a short second, he thinks he’s in some random man’s house, but his ass didn’t feel sore one bit, and he was still clothed, so why- oh. Right. Seokjin. 

He looked down at the arm currently wrapped around his waist, recognizing the red string bracelet and the tanned arm- it’s Taehyung. A warm rush floods into his chest, different from the icy sensation he had felt only hours prior. 

It’s a nice feeling, he realizes, being held. He snuggles into the elder’s chest, relishing in his warmth. Jeongguk used to never be a tactile person- he much preferred the simple hand holding and occasional flirty touches, but he had to admit, he was growing quite content with the way the six older men showered him with hugs and affection every chance they got. 

Seokjin was definitely the most possessive of Jeongguk out of the six. Whenever the younger sat next to him, the elder almost always had a hand on him- whether it was Jeongguk’s shoulder, his thigh, his waist- Seokjin’s hand brought nothing but comfort and butterflies to Jeongguk, and he welcomed the touch with rosy cheeks and a wide smile each time.

Jimin was the most persistent- constantly finding an excuse to hug Jeongguk, to play with his hair, to hold his hand, even if it was for a second. And without fail each time, the contact would set off butterflies and warmth in the younger’s chest. 

Taehyung practically hoarded Jeongguk away from the others. He loved cuddles- that much was obvious from just how many times he’s initiated a cuddle in the past week alone. He especially loved cuddling during mid-day naps, and in Taehyung’s world, naps were a must, especially after finishing a string of assignments, so for the past few days, he’d been seeking Jeongguk out, asking if he wanted to cuddle and take a nap.

The first time he had done that, he had just finished an essay, complaining about feeling drained and braindead by the time he had hit submit. His boyfriends were thoroughly entertained by his petulant behavior, but none of them made a move to ease it- that’s when Taehyung took matters into his own hand, and dragged a half asleep brunette up to his room and promptly pulled him into bed, cuddling him as the both of them fell into a deep sleep. When Jeongguk woke up later that night to a laughing Jimin, he was a deep red, barely remembering what had happened. But since that day, Taehyung had been regularly asking Jeongguk for naptime cuddles, and hey, who was he to deny the elder that?

Hoseok and Namjoon were less enthused about hugging or cuddling, but they still showed their affection all the same- they got by on playing with Jeongguk’s soft hair, and- Hoseok’s favorite- booping his cute little nose. Hoseok had his own unique way of showing affection, mostly with gentle touches and hands squeezing Jeongguk’s waist, a touch that had his heart jumping off of rooftops and screaming into the void.  

Yoongi was completely different from his housemates. The ravenette had a wall, a shell that was harder to crack, but once Jeongguk broke the eggshell, it was only uphill from there. At first, Jeongguk was convinced that Yoongi was not a man of skinship at all. But later on, he’s grown pleasantly surprised to see the second eldest initiating some form of contact with the others, even out of the blue sometimes. One of Jeongguk’s favorite recollections was while the group was watching a movie, Yoongi had sat next to Namjoon, lips jutted out in a pout as he wore an expression that made Jeongguk nearly scream in adoration. Seconds after the other noticing, the ravenette was pulled onto the younger’s lap, pout replaced with a content smile as he snuggled into Namjoon’s chest, and it was in that moment that Jeongguk that yeah, Yoongi is the cutest thing in existence.

It shocked him when Yoongi had touched him at first. He wasn’t expecting it, completely engrossed in yet another drama that Hoseok had been raving about the previous day. Yoongi came in, amused by how completely oblivious Jeongguk was to his surroundings. The moving screen catches his attention and he recognizes the drama as the one he had recommended to his boyfriends, so Yoongi sits down next to Jeongguk to watch it, mussing with the younger’s brown locks before draping a lazy arm across his shoulder. 

Jeongguk was frozen in shock, because the man hadn’t so much as uttered a single breath his way, instead choosing to linger in the shadows as the younger was coddled and doted on by the other men, offering up the occasional warm smile and home cooked meal- and yet there he was, practically cuddling him. And Jeongguk had instantly snuggled into the touch, the two still quiet, hearts and content smiles doing all of the talking for them. 

No matter how many hugs or how many cuddles he got, how many fingers ran through his hair, Jeongguk’s heart always sped up, his stomach always filled with butterflies, his mind always went hazy with a glorious fog- and he found himself craving more of that warmth and giddiness, and even caught himself seeking it out once. 

It was with Seokjin, who he had grown particularly attached to over the course of the week. They were with the others, watching some random movie Hoseok had picked. Hoseok and Jimin sat on the loveseat, curled up into each other. Taehyung, Namjoon, and Yoongi were on the adjacent couch, Yoongi fast asleep, arms crossed, and Taehyung and Namjoon were cuddling. On the loveseat across from Hoseok and Jimin sat Jeongguk and Seokjin, with as much space as possible between with. Seokjin didn’t like it, but he also didn’t want to invade the younger’s boundaries, despite how close they had grown the past few days. But Jeongguk wanted the touch, wanted the comfort, wanted what Jimin and Hoseok had, what Namjoon and Taehyung were doing. So he scoots closer, microscopically, inch by inch until their thighs were practically touching. Seokjin had gotten the hint much to Jeongguk’s relief, and draped an arm across the younger brunette’s shoulder, pulling him close. Jeongguk spent the rest of that night happy and content being snuggled up into Seokjin’s side.

“Hmm, Ggukah?” Jeongguk’s pulled out of his thoughts by a deep rumble of his name, and he can feel the elder’s body shifting behind him, arms pulling him closer.  

Fuck, his voice is so fucking deep.

“Sorry Taehyung-ssi, did I wake you?”

“Hmm, you didn’t.” Taehyung went quiet again, and Jeongguk was almost certain he had fallen back asleep, until Taehyung grumbled against his shoulder, shifting more so that his leg was draped across Jeongguk’s lap.

“Um… You’re holding me,” Jeongguk said- as if he wasn’t used to Taehyung’s cuddles by now.

“You’re nice to hold. Perfect size. Like teddy bear.” Taehyung’s words barely made sense, slurred together and laced with the heaviness of sleep to an indecipherable point, but Jeongguk still somewhat understood him, and his cheeks glowed a faint red, feeling both endeared and shy at the other’s words.

“Yeah?”

“Hmm.” It grows quiet again, the two drifting in and out of consciousness until finally, the sleep in their eyes have gone away and they’re wide awake, enjoying each other’s embrace.

“Hey Jeonggukie?” The younger looked at Taehyung, who still had his eyes closed. Just as he looked away though, the elder’s eyes opened and they locked gazes. Jeongguk feels all the wind knocked right out of his chest- Taehyung had the warmest eyes, filled with so much love and adoration and innocence that Jeongguk, despite being younger, wanted to just protect him from the cruelty of the real world forever. 

There’s a moment of silence between the two, a trance, and neither of them make a move to break it, neither of them look away. The world’s falling slow around them, the only sounds being their soft breathing and the thumping of their hearts. Taehyung’s hand rests on Jeongguk’s cheek, thumb softly stroking the rise of the younger’s cheekbones. It’s weird, the way Jeongguk’s heart fluttered at the touch- it’s a different kind of feeling, a different butterfly in his stomach. He feels like he’s floating when Taehyung touches him, electricity surging through his body, and he’s flying so high, Taehyung feeling like a breath of blissful oblivion. 

“Jeonggukie,” Taehyung tries again, breathier this time. 

“Hmm?” Jeongguk blinks, and suddenly Taehyung’s face is very fuckng close.

“Are you okay?” Taehyung tucks a strand of Jeongguk’s long hair behind his ear, the younger shuddering at both the words and the touch. Taehyung sounded so genuine, so concerned, so loving that Jeongguk’s eyes sting, though there’s no blurriness or tears. No, he feels happy.

“Yeah.” Jeongguk’s response is just as breathy as Taehyung’s voice. 

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

“You… what?” Jeonngguk snaps out of his trance as he registers the words, looking up at Taehyung with confusion.

“Sorry,” Taehyung apologizes sheepishly, “I… I noticed something was off about you earlier. Figured maybe it’s something you would want to talk to someone about.” 

He’s confused at first- then it hits him. Everything comes rushing back to Jeongguk and he grimaces, a huge wave of embarrassment washing over him. 

“Oh… Sorry, no, I was just kind of… Not feeling myself.”

Taehyung smiles softly. “I get it. We all have moments like that. It happens. Anyway, are you hungry? You didn’t eat this morning.” And that was true- Jeongguk hadn’t eaten that morning. He was hungry. But, part of him didn’t want to eat. He didn’t feel worthy of Seokjin’s cooking, of anything that the group had done for him. He felt disgusting still, the scars under his clothes reminding him of all he really was- a broken, battered teenager with a past far too horrid for the average person.

“Um, I’m okay. I’ll eat later.”

“You sure? Yoongi hyung wrapped your plate up.”

“Yeah, thanks.” It’s quiet for a second. Then Taehyung speaks.

“Um, speaking of hyung, we all have something we want to tell you.”

Jeongguk visibly deflates. He had figured it was time- he was fully recovered from whatever sickness had plagued him these past few weeks, so he had been expecting the time where he would have to leave to come. He just hadn’t been expecting to come so soon. “Oh.”

“It’s nothing bad!” Now Jeongguk’s interest was piqued. “We just… wanna ask you something. Should I go tell them you’re awake?”

“Um, sure.”

He’s released from Taehyung’s loose hold as the elder sits up, conscious of Jeongguk’s limbs as he crawls over them and stands. Taehyung disappears into the hallway, and Jeongguk can hear the commotion of voices before there’s light footsteps growing louder with each thump, and in the blink of an eye the six others are standing before him.

“Jeonggukah?” Seokjin speaks up first, an uncertain hand outstretched, itching to touch the other, wanting to provide some sort of comfort.- but then he remembers breakfast, and quickly retracts his hand in shame.

“Hi.” Jeongguk greets timidly, eyes downcast.

“How are you feeling?”

“Um, fine. Sorry, about earlier.” The younger smiles, a bit weak and a bit forced, but it’s the best he can do, considering how low he was starting to feel.

“It’s fine. So, um, well, um-”

“We were talking, all of us, last night.” Namjoon cuts in, giving a knowing look to Seokjin. The elder looked at Namjoon thankfully, grateful for the younger’s level-headness in a time where he could barely string two words together. 

“About?”

“You, Jeonggukah.”

“Oh…”

“Now, don’t get like that. We would never talk bad about something as precious as you, sweetheart,” Jimin coos, hands going up to cup Jeongguk’s cheeks. The pads of his thumbs rub the supple cheeks of the brunette, skin tinting a bright red at the pet name.

“We were talking, and we all agreed that we would like you to stay with us. Like, for a long while. Like-”

“Forever, Jeonggukie. Or at least until you get sick of us and move out to a place of your own.” Hoseok butts in, his sunshine smile is beaming brightly.

“You, what?”

“We’re inviting you to live with us.”

“That’s, I, I can’t,” Jeongguk’s furiously shaking his head, wide, doe eyes looking at all of them. They’re all wearing the same soft smile, wearing the same loving expression, and Jeongguk wants to give in, wants so badly to finally just settle down and live his life, like he had promised his grandmother all these years ago on her death bed- but he can’t, he doesn’t want to be a burden, doesn’t want to feel like he’s weighing them down. It’s so much easier when he’s alone, unable to hurt anyone with simply being.

“Yes, Jeonggukah, you can.”

“I can’t possibly impose, I’ll be on my way soon, I promise.” He pushes past Seokjin and Jimin, finding his backpack easily and stuffing Gureum in. A hand rests on his, gentle, warm, and he knows right away it’s Taehyung.

“No, Jeongguk, baby, please stay.” Jeongguk doesn’t look at Taehyung, he can’t, because he knows that he’s a weak man, and one look in Taehyung’s warm eyes will have him succumbing to anything he wants.

“But… Why?” 

“Honey,” it’s Seokjin speaking now, “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I could’ve done something instead of just throwing you back out to the wolves.”

“I mean, I’ve survived three years, I can-”

“That’s just it, baby.” Seokjin has his hands on Jeongguk’s face now, eyes holding so much fondness and adoration that Jeongguk can’t do anything else besides melt. “You survived. You didn’t live. No teenager should be living the way you are, not this young, not for this long.”

“Jeongguk, all of us would feel better if we knew you were safe, and not out there on your own. Please. You can pay us back however you want, but only when you’re safe and secure and stable and doing well on your own.” Jeongguk’s shocked to hear Yoongi talk, considering the elder hardly utters more than a few words at a time to him.

“Okay… “ 

“Okay?”

“Yeah… Okay.” 

“Well… Do you wanna see your room?”

Seokjin takes Jeongguk’s hand, and with a gentle tug, he guides him to the spare room. It’s next to Jimin and Taehyung’s, is the first thing Jeongguk notices. The elder leads him inside, and then the lights are turned on.

“It’s not much, but it’s a start.” There’s a bed in the corner, a full sized one, and a dresser just against the opposing wall. Not much else adorns the place other than a few random pictures in frames that looked like they were the pictures that the frames came with.

“It’s… It’s everything. Thank you so much.”

“You can thank us by staying, yeah? All we want is for you to be safe.”

And Jeongguk couldn’t help but let the biggest smile spread on his face and the warmest feeling sink in his chest because for the first time in a long, long time- he was truly, wholeheartedly happy.

Chapter Text

helloooo lol

uh i disappeared but i promise i have legit reasons heh

also i uh kinda lost my passion for writing? but im tryna get back into it lol

so uh is anyone actually waiting for the next update lol

im thinking of continuing this storyyyyy

im gonna delete this part whenever i upload the next chapter lol

Chapter Text

“Nana!” Jeongguk exclaims, his grandmother, Naeun, beaming even before she even gets the door open. Her smile was warmer than sunlight on a clear summer day, her eyes holding stars that sparkled prettily in her galaxies of soft brown. There was no mistaking where Jeongguk’s eyes came from. 

“Ah, my dearest Jeonggukie! What brings you here?” There it is- a warm, dulcet tone, a melody that drifted into Jeongguk’s ears straight to his chest, filling his heart to the brim with a joyful tenderness. Jeongguk’s grandmother was always a warm, cozy fire on a cold, bitter winter day; a comforting home that always welcomed him in times of despair and tribulations.

Home. That’s what his grandmother was to him. 

“Merry Christmas, Nana!” The teenager hands her an intricately wrapped present, bright, shimmering purple with a delicate blue bow on top of it. Jeongguk had spent ages on the gift, and even had to invest in some help from a few of the teachers at his school, specifically the woodworking and the welding teachers. 

“Oh Jeonggukie, you didn’t have to.” The woman’s eyes were soft and full of delight as she took the small box with gentle hands, bony digits fingering the precise fold of the wrapping paper that Jeongguk had carefully chosen in her favorite color. 

Revealed to the open, snowflake-filled sky was a small little wooden box, painted a deep, crimson red and decorated with intricate golden designs. Naeun lets out a soft gasp at the stunningly beautiful item, and carefully opens the small latch.

“A Sankyo Seiki music box…” She muttered under her breath in astonishment. “God Jeongguk, it’s absolutely beautiful! But so hard to get… Where did you get it?” She exclaims as her eyes drifted down to the teenaged boy, wide grins on both their faces.

“It’s handmade, Nana… I had some help from a few teachers at school. Play it!” Jeongguk bounced on his feet, excitement beginning to stem from his grandmother’s clear happiness.

With a delighted smile, the woman turns the crank a few times. A tune played, and it takes a minute for the older woman to process the familiarity of it. She looks at Jeongguk with a gentle smile, twinkling stars in her eyes.

“Oh, honey… Where do I know this from?” And it was clear in her smile and her eyes that she already knew, she knew the answer just as well as she knew her own name. But she wanted to hear it from the boy, hear the special meaning behind his choice of song. 

“It’s the lullaby you sang to me each night I spent with you when I was a child, Nana,” Jeongguk beamed. Naeun smiles and nods, resting a shaky but gentle hand on the top of the young one’s head. 

Jeongguk is looking at his grandmother with wide, bambi brown eyes. His smile is wide and beaming, the bunny resemblance shining through the pearly whites. Despite the brisky weather enveloping him, sending chills down his back through the fluffy black coat wrapped around him, he’s so warm, as if he was sitting right next to the lit fireplace just across the living room. 

He’s home. 

Right where he belongs. 

He’s happy, content with the few blissful moments he gets to have where he can just simply pretend. Pretend that he’s a normal kid with a normal life. A life where his parents aren’t fighting and throwing things at him everyday. A life where he isn’t constantly scrutinized and picked apart for every little misstep he takes. A life where his sexuality isn’t the talk of the wind that follows him down each street he passes. A life where he could just… live.

But no amount of pretend could mask the growing sadness in Naeun’s eyes, and a few seconds later, Jeongguk’s smile begins to falter. Naeun’s face was filled with something Jeongguk’s young mind couldn’t quite decipher. 

Sympathy.

“Nana? Is something wrong?” There’s silence, the music box now closed and no longer playing the soothing melody. There’s the sinking feeling of a chilling dread filling the air now, uneasiness and worry seeping into the young boy’s veins. The silence was deafening. 

“My dear, there’s something Nana has to tell you,” Naeun spoke softly, barely above a whisper. She ushered Jeongguk into her home and closing the door, taking a moment with her hand still on the doorknob and her head hung low before she turned to face Jeongguk.

“What is it?” 

“Jeongguk… Honey, I’m dying.” 

It’s like time came to a stop. The background chatter from the television faded into muteness, the sounds of cars revving by became a slow, low grumbling of engines, the wind became soft rustles as it whistled through empty branches and dead leaves. 

A record scratches.

“Cancer. Breast cancer, to be specific. At my age… I have a few months, Jeonggukie.”

There’s tires screeching. 

Crash.

Someone’s clawing at Jeongguk’s chest, grasping and clutching at his heart, ripping it to shreds with no mercy. 

Anxiety. 

Ice, cold, piercing anxiety.

Panic.

He’s losing his home. 

“Nana,” he stutters out like a broken engine, “you can’t, you can’t leave-”

“You’re a strong, beautiful, wonderful young man. I trust that you’ll accomplish only greatness in life.” 

“Nana…”

It’s eating Naeun alive, the guilt from hearing the shattered heart in Jeongguk’s voice. She looks at him with soft eyes, eyes that held so much strength yet so much weakness. 

Sympathetic. 

Jeongguk’s home was burning to the ground. 

She couldn’t handle it anymore. 

“I have something for you, my dear.” She lets go of Jeongguk’s hands, standing and disappearing into the hallway before coming back a few minutes later. In her hands is a stuffed white dog. It looks old, the fur a bit of an offwhite shade with just a small bit of browning on the paws.

“This is Gureum. I’ve had him since I was your age. He’s the only thing that survived my childhood, and I want you to have him, Jeonggukie.” 

“Nana…” Jeongguk is sobbing freely now, clutching the dog in his hands. His grandmother’s shaky hands rested on top of his small, pale ones, a smile on her face so weak it barely lifted her cheeks, yet shone brighter than the sun peering through the small kitchen window. 

Sympathy. 

He no longer has a home. 

Jeongguk’s grandmother died just months before he turned fourteen. She left everything to him, but because he was still a minor, the gifts she left remained in the province’s custody until he became of age. 

But of course, his parents refused to let Jeongguk have anything his grandmother left behind for him, which further drove the wedge deeper in their relationship. And even now, with it being years later and him being of age, he still never gained what was rightfully his. 

Jeongguk stared at Gureum longingly, smiling softly at the memories of his grandmother. His grandmother was the only person who loved and cared for him, who took him in for the night when his drugged and abusive parents became too much to handle, who always had a warm plate of food waiting for him at the end of the day. 

Christmas.

He always knew when the day was coming. White blanketed the ground, blasts of red and gold and green filled the streets, the air became significantly more cheerful and jolly. Jeongguk absolutely despised the holiday- it was just another painful reminder of two things- what he could’ve had, and what he lost. His parents, his grandmother, his friends, his whole life.  

His home.

While laughter and joy filled everyone around him, Jeongguk retreated to the depths of the shadows, filled with despair and guilt. Guilt of not being enough for his parents. Guilt of betraying everyone he loved and cared about. Guilt of living.  

“Merry Christmas, Jeonggukie!” A voice breaks him out of his thoughts and he sees Hoseok standing in his door, colorfully wrapped boxes piled in his arms. Jeongguk chuckled, smiling at the cheerful elder. Even if he wasn’t particularly embedded in the holiday spirit like everyone else, he wasn’t gonna turn into a grinch and ruin anybody’s mood. That was the last thing he wanted to do for the people who had so kindly welcomed him in their home. 

Their home, not his. 

“Merry Christmas, Hoseok-ssi,” Jeongguk gives Hoseok a slight bow, the brightest smile he could muster a sticker on his face. It wasn’t a real smile- didn’t reach his eyes, didn’t uplift the sinking feeling that was tugging at his gut. He felt sick to his stomach, his head was swimming, swarmed with thoughts and none of them good. The only thing he could think about was his grandmother, and he desperately wished for one more day with her, just one day.

One more day at home.

“Oh Jeonggukie, if you’re gonna be living with us for a while, might as well get used to calling us hyung! Now come on down, we got presents for you!” Hoseok had already scampered off, leaving Jeongguk to just stare after him with wide eyes.

‘Presents? For me?’ He thought. Maybe he heard Hoseok wrong, maybe he imagined the for you part.  

Sympathy. 

His mind is sympathetic for him. 

He’s imagining things now. 

When was the last time someone even gave him a present?

His grandmother flashes through his mind, a movie rewinding through snippets of colors and words. He’s taken back to the last days of his grandmother’s life, a bittersweet ending to the best book he’s ever lived. 

“There’s something I want to give you.” Naeun’s voice is raspy, soft compared to the dull whirring of the oxygen currently blasting through her nostrils. A shaky, bony finger points to the bag situated on the chair next to her bag.

He hears the sympathy in her voice. She’s leaving him soon, and she’s never coming back. 

Jeongguk immediately jumps up and receives it, resting it gently by his grandmother’s side. He says nothing, just watches with wide eyes as his grandmother, slow as a sloth, begins to rustle around. 

Moments of digging around reveals a necklace- an ancient golden coin attached to a rustic golden chain. The antique could’ve been decades old, easily.

“This was your grandfather’s good luck charm, Jeonggukkie. It protected him during the war and brought him home to me everyday… I want you to have it.”

Jeongguk looked down at his neck, the coin resting just atop his sternum. He smiled gently, caressing the piece with a tender thumb. A warmth floods throughout him, and it was almost as if there was a weight pressing down on his chest- only it wasn’t anxiety, but it was almost as if… he was being hugged. 

His mind is sympathetic again. 

“Miss you both,” he sighed to the air quietly. 

He didn’t really remember much of his grandfather, the man had died when he was barely the age of five. His grandmother would always tell him stories about him though, and the more she told Jeongguk, the more he realized that he himself was practically a copy and paste of the man. Even Naeun admitted just how much Jeongguk resembled his grandfather. 

After a few moments of being lost in thought, Jeongguk finally made his way out of his room and down to the living room, where the others were all gathered. He had taken a moment to look at the sight in front of him.

Jimin and Taehyung were on the floor directly in front of the lively Christmas tree. The two were wearing matching sets of pajamas, donned head in toe in vibrant clashes of green and red, matching Santa hats perched atop both of their messy heads. 

Namjoon and Yoongi were sitting on the loveseat closest to the tree, both in their usual sleepwear attires with the cutest headbands adorned with bells and reindeer antlers nestled into their hair. 

Seokjin was in the kitchen as always, clad in a fluffy red Christmas sweater and pink shorts. He was wearing a red hat with elf-like ears pinned to the side and a bell jingling away on the peak. 

Hoseok was in the kitchen as well, helping Seokjin, and just from looking at his outfit, Jeongguk could tell that Hoseok was definitely feeling the spirit. The redhead was in a onesie, a deep shade of evergreen decorated with cartoon-like pictures of ornaments and gingerbread. On top of his head sat an authentic looking Santa hat, his usually messy bedhead styled into fluffs of waves and bangs. He wore red and green striped fuzzy socks on his feet, and fingerless candy cane striped gloves on his hands. 

Jeongguk quickly realized no one had acknowledged his presence just quite yet, everyone too engrossed in their own activities to look his way. He cleared his throat, and a few heads whipped to him. 

“Merry Christmas, Jeonggukah!” Seokjin greeted him first, and his words were followed by similar greetings from the others. Jeongguk returned all their greetings with his own, followed by a tight smile and a slight bow. Seokjin, right off the bat, could sense the fakeness and he frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. He looks at the youngest with concern. 

He’s being sympathetic, Jeongguk thinks. 

He doesn’t want it. 

Jeongguk didn’t dare look the eldest’s way, and took a seat between Jimin and Taehyung, who had moved apart to make a spot for Jeongguk between them. Jeongguk kept his eyes glued to the floor, but instantly melted when Jimin wrapped an arm around his waist and tugged him close. It was amazing, the effect that Jimin had on him, on everyone. But it was also terrifying , how Jeongguk was already getting so attached to him, to all of them. 

He couldn’t let himself fall into his pit of overthinking though, not in that moment anyways. It was time for presents!

Seokjin went first. He finds all the beautifully wrapped boxes and gift bags with his name messily scribbled on each of them, finding it endearing how similarly messy the handwritings of his boyfriends were. 

Then Jimin went, then Taehyung, Hoseok, Namjoon, and finally a disgruntled Yoongi who repeatedly claimed that buying him anything was just a waste of time and money but then melted in his own Yoongi-esque way with each box and bag he opened. 

And Jeongguk smiled and clapped with each opened bag and box, genuine happiness seeping into his heart just from watching the others light up and grow excited over each gift. Namjoon’s little hops for joy over his new bike had Jeongguk absolutely fawning in adoration over the man, and Seokjin’s bright smile and red face from laughing so hard at his new custom-made shirt with his yawning face on it made Jeongguk smile so hard his cheeks hurt. Seeing the people he cared about immensely wear the brightest smiles on their faces and their happy hearts out on their sleeves was the most satisfying feeling ever, and Jeongguk was starting to forget the negative feelings that Christmas had always brought to him like clockwork, his own lump of coal each year. 

“Your turn now, Jeonggukkie!” Jimin exclaimed, and shoves the remaining array of presents towards Jeongguk. 

“Me?” Jeongguk stuttered out. He starts to shake his head repeatedly, pushing the presents back towards the tree. “But I didn’t get you guys anything-“

“Nonsense, we don’t want anything in return. We wanted to do something for you, Jeongguk, just as a little token of our appreciation for the light that you’ve been so far.” Jeongguk looked up at Namjoon, who just gave him his signature dimpled smile and a gesturing nod. 

Jeongguk, albeit a bit hesitant, began to unwrap the first gift. 

The first box he opened was from Hoseok. It was a windbreaker, a vibrant one splashed with colors that reminded Jeongguk of theme songs from television shows of the older generations. Just underneath was a brand new backpack, a similar style to the old, worn out one Jeongguk currently possessed. It was a deep blue, one of Jeongguk’s favorite colors. He let out an impressed noise as he thoroughly examined the pockets, alright formulating ideas of what he put in each one. 

Seokjin had gotten him modern hanbok, something Jeongguk had always been eyeing every single time he saw one of the others wear it. Now he finally has his own to wear, and it was in navy blue too. Was Jeongguk really obvious with what his favorite color was?

Then came Namjoon’s gift, and it somehow both shocked and didn’t shock Jeongguk at the same time. The elder had gotten him a few books, all related to learning English. Jeongguk looked at the books in amazed astonishment and quickly flipped through them, his eyes already eagerly scanning the words that would soon become part of his limited English vocabulary. He quickly thanked Namjoon in a breath and set the books aside gingerly, as if they would shatter even with just the softest bit of force. 

Jimin was practically leaping out of his chair, eager for Jeongguk to open the series of boxes that all had Jimin’s name signed on them. Feeling a bit flustered and overwhelmed just from the sheer amount of presents from Jimin alone, Jeongguk opened the smallest one first, untying the delicate ribbon that had held the box together. He lifts the top off, and sees a blue string bracelet, one that resembled the red string one Taehyung and Jimin wore.

“Taehyung and I have one too.” Jimin held his wrist up, and sure enough, there’s the same exact blue bracelet just under the red one that adorned both of their wrists. Jeongguk absolutely melted at the gesture alone- the fact that Jimin and Taehyung both admired and cared about Jeongguk and wanted him in their lives enough to the point where they wanted something physical to show and express their bond. 

God, Jeongguk could cry. 

Scratch that, Jeongguk is going to cry. 

Jimin had also gotten him a few comic books and manga books, an oversized hoodie that was so soft it reminded Jeongguk of Jimin , and a signed physical copy of one of the movies Jeongguk had been watching multiple times. He had looked at Jimin with wide eyes upon seeing the signatures, and Jimin just giggled, giving him a simple eye-hiding smile. 

Taehyung had gifted Jeongguk something that absolutely stole his breath away: a painting of him, on what appeared to be the couch situated in the living room. His face hinted that he was engrossed in something, most likely some drama he was watching. 

“ You painted this? ” Jeongguk exclaimed with wide eyes. 

Taehyung nodded sheepishly, a side of him Jeongguk had never seen emerging. 

He was shy.

Cute, Jeongguk thought. 

Then last, but certainly not least, came Yoongi’s gift. Yoongi usually wasn’t very big on gift giving, nor was he big on gift receiving. But he tried his best and his boyfriends had never minded the simplicity of Yoongi’s gifts, in fact, they always enjoyed the gifts because Yoongi was always very practical with his gifts. A new apron for Seokjin so that he wouldn’t ruin his favorite shirt while cooking. A new pair of comfortable sneakers that would ensure Hoseok would have minimal aches in his feet and legs even after hours of dancing. A pack of pens for Jimin, the ones that he was absolutely obsessed with, (“They just write so beautifully! I love how smooth they are, hyung!”) but would never buy since they were on the pricier side. A mousepad that had wrist support for Taehyung, who would waste his nights away gaming for hours on end and always complained the mornings after that his wrist ached. A pair of noise-cancelling headphones for Namjoon who preferred a quiet setting during his personal downtime, but living in a house with five other rowdy men of course, it was hard to get. 

The gifts themselves were simple , but the thought and the reasoning behind them were what made all five of them fall in love with Yoongi in the first place- he listened to them and he helped them in his own ways. He put effort into researching and finding solutions for their mindless problems. That’s what made the gifts so special. 

But despite his usual style of gift giving, for some reason, Yoongi wanted to go all out for Jeongguk. He didn’t understand what pulled him to pick this gift up for him, but he was never one to ignore his instincts after all. 

“Oh, thank you, Yoongi-ssi,” Jeongguk bowed lightly, shock evident in his voice, “I will use it well.” 

“You don’t even know what it is!” Jimin exclaimed. 

Yoongi was the last person he had expected to give him a gift, considering how he was towards Jeongguk the first few days he was here. Granted, Yoongi was starting to warm up to him, but Jeongguk had never expected them to reach this point so soon. 

The first thing Jeongguk noticed about the box Yoongi had handed him was how big and heavy it was. Compared to the others’ gifts from Yoongi, Jeongguk had definitely gotten the special treatment. But nobody in that room dared complain, nor did they even have any complaints at all- Jeongguk deserved it, and his happiness would be worth all the Christmas gifts in the world. 

Jeongguk, as he did with the other gifts, began to carefully peel off the wrapping paper, not wanting to let his eagerness ruin the beautiful paper. 

Jeongguk’s eyes widened and there’s audible gasps as the present is revealed. 

“It’s… Is this a Fender California Newporter?” Jeongguk breathed out, feeling the wind get knocked out of his chest at the absolute beauty that was sitting in his shaking hands.

If Yoongi was taken aback by Jeongguk’s guitar knowledge, he didn’t show it. The corners of the elder’s mouth only twitched upwards, his eyes fond and soft as he watched Jeongguk gape and awe over the shiny instrument. 

“So I made the right choice, then,” the elder said with a soft smile. 

“I couldn’t possibly-“

“Nonsense, Jeongguk. I trust you will put it to good use.”

“How did you even know he likes guitars?

Yoongi and Jeongguk just exchanged a look, soft smiles on both their faces. 

Jeongguk jolted awake from a restless sleep, another nightmare plaguing his mind with the phantom touches and pain of his father’s drunkenness. He’s breaking out into a cold sweat, his chest tightening and his lungs constricting, not reeling in enough air. 

“Hey… Hey, kid, hey…” There’s a dip in the couch next to him, but Jeongguk’s too scared to look up- not that it would benefit him much anyways, his vision was starting to go blurry from the way tears were pooling in his eyes. 

“Bad dream, eh? I know the feeling,” Yoongi said gently, his hand on Jeongguk’s back even gentler. 

More like a living nightmare, Jeongguk wants to say, but he can’t seem to bring himself to speak. His voice is gone, not unusually so in times like these. 

It’s quiet between the two of them, and Jeongguk surprisingly didn’t mind. It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was nice knowing that there was someone in the room- he didn’t like to be alone. And the subtle patterns Yoongi was rubbing on the younger’s back was definitely helping him calm down. 

“You like guitars?” Yoongi spoke up suddenly. Jeongguk startled slightly at the random question. 

Jeongguk looked at Yoongi, and then nodded slowly, a bit confused until Yoongi pulls the guitar he had set aside in favor of soothing Jeongguk through what he recognized as a panic attack. 

“You play?”

Jeongguk shrugged. It had been a while, nearly four years to be exact, since he picked one up. But even then, he only knew basic chords. Still, guitars were one of his passions that he’s always wanted to pursue, but never had the resources or the skills to.

“I… know some chords,” he said timidly. 

“Yeah? Show me.” 

Yoongi and Jeongguk were still looking at each other, soft smiles still lifting their cheeks. The others look at them in confusion, but also in fondness, realizing that Yoongi was having a moment with Jeongguk, something that had been waiting for since the day Jeongguk was introduced to their little family. 

“Thank you,” Jeongguk stutters out, “I don’t know how to express my gratitude enough.” 

“No need, Jeonggukie!” Seokjin’s smile was warm, a soothing wave easing and nulling each doubt forming in Jeongguk’s head. 

And when Jeongguk looked at Hoseok, he could see that the elder wore the same smile, the heart shaped curve on his face warm enough to put the ardent fireplace to shame. And Taehyung’s box-like smile was as radiant as ever, gleaming so brightly Jeongguk almost asked for sunglasses to protect his eyes. And Namjoon, Jimin, even Yoongi were all smiling in their own fond ways at him. 

Not sympathy. 

It’s so foreign, yet familiar- the feeling he gets when looking at Seokjin. At Yoongi, Namjoon, all of them. 

It’s the feeling he had with his grandmother- the feeling of warmth, of tender love and gentle care. Of feeling safe. 

Of feeling home.

And Jeongguk had to fight back the tears in his eyes, and hold the breath in his lungs. 

Because finally , after so long of searching, so long of feeling like he had no place in the world, Jeongguk found his home again. 

In the hot meals and comfortable cuddles. In the English lessons and gaming tournaments. In the movie nights and karaoke afternoons. In the late night talks and early morning coffees. 

Jeongguk had never fallen asleep so full of happiness and warmth . 

He was home again. 

Chapter Text

“You’re never gonna be good enough.”

Crack. 

“The hell do you think you are, living under my roof and doing all those fucking disgusting things? With another boy?”

Another crack. The leather belt has seen better days. 

“You oughta be ashamed of yourself! What kind of boy kisses another fucking boy?”

It’s a slap this time. Hard and full of palm.

“You’re not my son… You’re not even human.”

With that final crack, Jeongguk jolts awake. His chest was heavy, his eyes were stinging, his skin was burning, his mind was clouded. His cheeks are heated with the phantom touches of his cruel childhood, the memory fresh in his mind despite being years ago. 

It’s pitch black in the room, with nothing but the faint glow of the moonlight to illuminate a few strips of hardwood on the floor- just like how it’s pitch black in his mind, his dark thoughts only highlighted by the sinister shine of his father’s fiery eyes.

It was the same thing every night, a similar flashback each nightmare - his father demeaning him, verbal blows morphing into physical ones, and Jeongguk always wakes up when the pain becomes too much to bear. At this point, he couldn’t tell which was the real nightmare- his past or the fact that he was still waking up each morning.

He curls up into the tiniest ball he could, trying to escape, to get away, to run away from the tightening in his chest. Run away like he had been doing all these years, running and running with no finish line in sight, no end goal, no destination. Jeongguk’d been running for so long, and he’s just so tired. He’s about ready to succumb on the road in the middle of the marathon, any hopes of reaching that finish line of happiness just slowly fading away. Even with all the water breaks and cheers of motivation to meet that end goal, it all seemed too far-fetched. 

Jeongguk was losing the race, even while he was the only competitor. 

He’s so tired of looking over his shoulder, of flinching at the smallest sound, of spiraling whenever someone even dared lift a finger . He hated everything- hated the bubbling panic, loathed the cold anxiety, despised the invasive thoughts. It all consumed him, trapped him, kept him from living his life how he’d always imagined he’d live it as a child. 

Jeongguk would be in college right now, or at least just starting. He’d have a fun friend group that he’d hang out with every weekend, having fun at parties and getting drunk every other weekend. He’d be happily studying away in a coffee shop, maybe even the same one Seokjin works at.

Hell, who knows, maybe he would’ve even had the courage to ask for his number ages ago. They could’ve at the very least have been friends. And Jeongguk just knows Seokjin would’ve still introduced him to the others, and he knows the seven of them would’ve still become one big, happy friend group- just like how they are now, Jeongguk thought, a sarcastic undertone to those words. 

Or maybe, maybe not. 

Maybe the others wouldn’t be the same towards Jeongguk as they are now if they had met under different circumstances. 

Maybe if Jeongguk was normal, the others wouldn’t be so… held back around him. 

If that was even the right phrase to use. 

Walking on eggshells, more like.

Jeongguk could see it, sense it, even if he didn’t know the group like the back of his hand yet. 

It’s been nearly a month since the night Seokjin brought a nearly dying Jeongguk home. And here’s the thing about Jeongguk: he’s a very observant person. What he lacks in social skills, he makes up for in observation skills. So it hadn't been long until he noticed the patterns, the small changes in the others’ behaviors that he knew were a true reflection of how the group really saw him- for the immature, broken, fragile young boy he truly was. 

He could hear it in the gentle tones. He could feel it in the tender hands. He could see it in the wordless exchanges between them, their eyes speaking volumes to how drastic the changes in their usual demeanors were around Jeongguk.

He could see it in the way Jimin’s laughing habits consisted of hitting anybody that was in his reachable vicinity, but when he was laughing next to Jeongguk, his hands’ target quickly became his own thighs. 

He could hear it in the way Hoseok’s voice became loud with joy whenever he was excitedly talking about someone, but consistently remained its quieter volume around Jeongguk. 

He could feel it when Seokjin would scold the younger ones for wasting their days away in their rooms playing video games, yet consistently checked up on Jeongguk and even brought him prepared plates of snacks and meals when the younger was engrossed in one of Taehyung’s video games for hours on end. 

They were treating him like he was hopeless, childish, weak . Like he was hanging on by a single thread and even the gentlest breeze could set him off. 

Jeongguk let out a choked sob at the realization, quickly covering his mouth with a sleeve covered hand. His body is shaking, every cell trembling with panic and anxiety and he feels like he could actually just dissipate into a puddle of nothingness. That he could just cease to exist in this very moment, and maybe that could solve everyone’s problems. It had to be draining, exhausting work, consistently walking on eggshells around him. 

That wouldn’t be so bad… He thought to himself. Then I wouldn't be such a burden to them. 

The thought alone of being a burden brought even more tears to Jeongguk’s eyes. He hated that word with a burning passion, but at the same time if he was asked to describe himself, that’s the first word that will pop up in his mind. The teen was convinced that if anyone were to look up the word in a dictionary, his picture would come up. 

That’s all he ever was. It’s all he ever will be. His father told him again and again for years how his son tainted the Jeon family name. How he hated that he had to work day and night only for Jeongguk to waste his money to have a roof over his head and food in his belly. How he couldn't even bear to look at him sometimes because the sight of his son alone disgusted him. How his own relationship with his mother, Jeongguk’s grandmother, was ruined because Jeongguk resembled his grandmother too closely, and as a result his father came to hate the woman, even after her death. 

Jeongguk couldn't handle it- the memory of his father sent him even further down into the hole he was beginning to dig himself. His panic was only worsening each second, his breath quickening as his tears kept falling faster and faster. 

Jeongguk’s heart felt like it was being dragged to the pits of his stomach, his throat felt like someone wrapped their hands around his neck firmly, their grip growing tighter with each passing second. His lungs felt like someone blasted them with an ice gun at negative six hundred thirteen thousand degrees, burning in such a fiery, icy way that it hurt to take even the smallest of hiccuping breaths.

There’s a solution at the forefront of his mind, a quick, but precarious fix to the swirling loops of anxiety and panic that’s overwhelming Jeongguk right now. He glances at his bedside table, a small, rustic little piece gifted to him by Namjoon, who had seen it at a thrift store the previous week and immediately wanted to get it for Jeongguk. “ The color and stain of the wood is a near perfect match to that of your dresser! I just had to get it !” Namjoon had exclaimed when he came home from his solo adventure for the day, dimples digging deep in his cheeks as a blushing Jeongguk shyly accepted the furniture. He would've refused it, but he knew the others would just put it in his room anyways, so he decided to go along with it. 

Jeongguk smiled a bit at the newly created memory, but the small smile quickly faded when the pressuring urge settling deep in the pit of his stomach of the blade against his skin grew stronger and stronger. He reaches inside the drawer, his fingers easily finding the rectangular object he had stashed away for a just in case moment like this. 

The blade caught the gleam of the diminishing moonlight, Jeongguk admiring the glint it gave off. It was almost mischievous, sinister even, how something so small and shiny be so harmful and destructive. 

He hadn’t gotten the urge in about two weeks now- a major milestone for Jeongguk, who had spent so long of his life painting his skin a deep crimson red just to get away from the mental pain his absolute shithole of his life caused. The brunette supposed it had something to do with the others, how they brought so much happiness and joy to him, feelings that Jeongguk had never thought he’d feel again. 

Feelings that Jeongguk knew he didn’t deserve to feel, to the point where he even felt guilty. 

He didn’t deserve all of this. He didn’t deserve to have a place to live in. He didn’t deserve to have warm, home-cooked meals everyday, to have constant hugs and attention on him, to have friends who cared about him. 

All I am is a waste of time and space, he miserably thought.

With tears still falling down his cheeks, Jeongguk brings the razor to his skin, and ah . 

Sweet, sweet relief. 

It was relieving, watching the dabs of crimson painting his skin. He’d always thought he was his prettiest like this, red and beaten to a worthless lump of wasted space. It’s what he deserved anyway. He deserved to look like how he viewed himself: useless, bruised, destroyed.

“Hey,” a calm voice appears out of nowhere, filling the harsh silence with a sort of tranquility. “Jeonggukie?”

Seokjin.  

Jeongguk momentarily panics again, putting the blade back in his drawer and grabbing a few tissues from a nearby box to clean up the bit of blood he had already drawn. He was definitely screwed if Seokjin walked in right now, there was no doubt the elder would think Jeongguk was clinically insane- that is, if he didn't already think that- and Jeongguk would be done for. There’s no way Seokjin and the others would continue to let Jeongguk live in their home if they saw the state he was in. He knew they were drained taking care of him as he was already, he did not want to add more fuel to the fire. 

“Jeongguk, are you okay? I heard some noises coming from your room. I just wanted to make sure you’re not hurt or anything.” Seokjin’s voice was as soothing as it always is, reminding Jungkook of crashing waves on a sandy shore.

Look at that. He came because you were too loud, Jeongguk’s head was quick to blame. You probably interrupted his sleep- what a stupid, stupid little worthless thing. 

“I’m fine,” Jeongguk stuttered out, the tone of his voice completely contradicting his words. It was evident he’d been crying, struggling to breath, panicking.  

No use in telling him the truth. All you’re gonna do is create more problems for him and for all of them. Why don’t you just leave now, Jeongguk? That way, you can never cause them shit again. 

Jeongguk let out a soft wail, his hands tangling in his hair, tugging at the locks in an attempt to silence the voice. It sounded just like his father- the same cold, harsh tone that was completely devoid of warmth and love, a tone Jeongguk was used to all his life. 

“Oh sweetie… Can I come in?” 

Please, I’m begging you, Jeongguk thinks to himself. All he wanted, needed, craved, was a hug. Someone to finally say that he doesn't need to act so strong. All Jeongguk wanted was to hear the words I’m proud of you uttered to him for no goddamn reason other than existing. He wanted to be praised for making it another day, for making it to the next round and not achieving game over. That’s all Jeongguk wanted, all Jeongguk ever wanted- to feel like life is worth living. He didn't want to be belittled for breathing. To be shamed for smiling. To be antagonized for living.  

“It’s okay, Seokjin-ssi,” he says instead, his voice weak and unstable. There’s a moment of silence and Jeongguk thinks that Seokjin actually left, but then he speaks up again. 

“You don’t have to hide from me sweetheart. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to help,” Seokjin reassures. Jeongguk stares at the door, debating a moment longer before finally muttering a soft ‘ come in.’ His words were so quiet that Seokjin would've missed them entirely had he not had his ear pressed up against the door, desperately listening for any sign of movement. 

Seokjin opens the door following the younger’s permission, closing it behind him to still keep the privacy that Jeongguk was so tenaciously holding onto just moments ago. Even with explicit permission, Seokjin still felt as if he was invading into a space he shouldn't be, the way Jeongguk was still trying to hide every inch of himself under the covers. 

It was all baby steps with Jeongguk, the six of them trying to get the reserved teen to open up to them. Of course they didn't want to force the youngest resident into divulging in the deep, dark secrets of his past that he’s been harboring away in his mind- they feared that Jeongguk would end up resenting them with the belief that they forced him into being vulnerable. But they still wanted to know what went on in his mind whenever he grew quiet at random intervals throughout the day. They still wanted to know why almost every night, Jeongguk laid in his room alone, failing to muffle his wheezing sobs. They wanted to know why Jeongguk still remained guarded and fenced up, even though they tried so hard to be as warm and as inviting as the sun itself. There was a lot that the six boyfriends wanted to know about Jeongguk, but none of them truly knew if they were prepared to ever find out. 

“Hey, little one,” the elder greeted softly, crouching down next to Jeongguk. He was still laying down in his bed when Seokjin walked in, half his face hiding underneath the thick comforter that Namjoon had given to him. The younger looked up at him, his eyes glossy with tears, but still growing softer than ever after the name little one registered in his brain. Seokjin gave him a soft smile, his hand resting on top of Jeongguk’s own. 

“You like that? Little one?” The way Jeongguk visibly melted into Seokjin’s touch with the affectionate name was all the confirmation that the eldest needed. 

Jeongguk moved from under his covers, tentatively. Seokjin didn't move an inch, instead just kept eye contact with Jeongguk as the younger paused. He could tell Jeongguk was debating something, with the way he chewed on his bottom lip, and the way his eyes had a curious, hesitant look in them. 

It took another moment for him to make his decision and he wrapped his arms around Seokjin’s neck, to which the elder responded by wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s waist.  He cooed softly at the other, smiling as Jeongguk fully sank into his hug. How Jeongguk went lax in his arms melted Seokjin’s heart. Was this a sign Jeongguk was opening up to them? Just moments ago, he was refusing Seokjin entry into his room, fearing judgment over tiny details, and now here he was, completely satisfied with being wrapped up in his hyung’s arms. 

The two stayed like that for what felt like hours, but was really only ten minutes. Seokjin didn't say much, just lets Jeongguk nestle up closer and closer into his arms. It was confusing to Seokjin, how Jeongguk would hide away in his room whenever he was feeling this way and never sought out any comfort or help, yet when granted with the opportunity to receive comfort, he snatched it faster than the speed of lightning and practically refused to let go. Jeongguk’s contrasting differences in his behavior gave Seokjin whiplash, but he still tried his best to understand and respect the younger’s boundaries. 

Still, Seokjin wished that Jeongguk would let him in a little more. He hated that the younger was going through all of this alone, and he especially hated that Jeongguk had spent so many years alone. 

If Seokjin could be granted one wish, it would be that Jeongguk would finally see that he isn't alone anymore. Not while Seokjin’s there, not while the others are there. 

As the elder brunette looked down at a sleeping Jeongguk in his arms, there was only one thought in his head. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind the teen’s ear, a soft smile etched on his face as Jeongguk’s nose scrunched up ever so slightly at the touch. 

It was in that moment that Seokjin made a silent promise to Jeongguk. 

He promised that Jeongguk would never feel alone again. 

-

Jeongguk woke up later in the day. The clock told him that it was just past two in the afternoon, which was weird since the house was unusually silent for this time of day- the others were all on their winter breaks, so most of them should be home… right? 

He tried to remember if anybody mentioned going out for the day- which he wouldn’t be surprised if they did. While Jeongguk was more of a homebody, the others much preferred going out and being outside. Jimin and Taehyung often went on walks together, Namjoon often went biking, Seokjin and Hoseok loved spending their free time in the backyard, doing whatever activities they desired that day. 

Yoongi was the only other who also preferred staying indoors. But even so, Jeongguk should be able to hear some sort of movement within the house. 

And then in that moment, memories from the early morning decided to flood his mind and he lets out a soft groan, his cheeks heating in embarrassment and his mind finally registering the varying degrees of pain all over his body. 

Great, he had embarrassed himself in front of Seokjin again by having another breakdown. Why couldn't he just handle his emotions like a normal person? Maybe that’s why the house is calm, they either left to give him space, or they’re being quiet since he was sleeping.

Letting out a long sigh, he tries to sit up, only to finally notice the arm that was stretched around his waist, effectively holding him down. 

Oh, when did he get here?

A soft smile spreads on his face, despite the pain of his headache and the ache of his wrists. He doesn’t even have to look to know it’s Taehyung; the second youngest of the group was becoming notorious for weaseling his way into Jeonggguk’s bed and sleeping by his side. And each time, without fail, it made Jeongguk feel all warm and fuzzy inside and red on the outside. It wasn't just the close proximity to another body- it was the close proximity to Taehyung , who, and he would take this to the grave , he was starting to harbor a tiny crush on. 

Tiny being a major understatement. 

How could he not? Taehyung was exactly his type- tall, handsome, always smelled divine (and with a nose as sensitive as Jeongguk’s was, smell was of utmost importance), with warm eyes that held comfort and innocence in them that Jeongguk wanted to preserve and protect forever, and a deep, husky voice that causes Jeongguk’s stomach to do cartwheels and backflips whenever he heard him speak. He has beautiful golden-honey skin that looked beautifully soft and downright kissable, and luscious brown waves that always fell in Taehyung’s eyes, but it never seemed to bother him. Jeongguk always thought he looked so boyish and charming when his hair fell over his face like that, and he could never help but stare. 

And his hands, god his hands. They were so warm and soft and pretty and big and Jeongguk would always go crazy whenever Taehyung’s hands were on him. Whether it was an innocent touch on his thigh, or whether they were in his hair, playing with the long, dark brown locks, or even just simply engulfing Jeongguk’s smaller hands- Taehyung’s hands drove Jeongguk insane.  

And not to mention Taehyung was one of the kindest , warmest people Jeongguk’s ever met. 

Yes, all of them were kind and sweet and treated Jeongguk like he was their baby, but Taehyung was just… different .

Different in the way he would wordlessly put some extra food on Jeongguk’s plate when he noticed it getting empty. 

Different in the way he would take the time to explain a reference in a drama or a movie, since Jeongguk was so out of touch with society and the social media culture in the current generation that half the time, Jeongguk was clueless as to what a lot of lines actually meant. 

Different in the way Taehyung would help Jeongguk without question, like the one time Jeongguk was struggling to get the cereal that he wanted off the top shelf, and Taehyung wordlessly appeared behind him, grabbing the box with ease and placing it in Jeongguk’s unmoving hand. 

Jeongguk was frozen in place because Taehyung was oh so close to him, the elder’s warm breath fanning over the back of Jeongguk’s neck. He could hear the smugness in Taehyung’s voice when he whispers, “here you go, Jeonggukkie,” into his ear,  and he could see out of the corner of his eye, the smirk that was evident on the other’s face. 

Jeongguk didn’t know what drove him crazier- being so close to Taehyung or the fact that Taehyung’s actions seemed deliberate, like the elder knew what he was doing. 

Now the thought that Taehyung was deliberately acting like this towards the younger had left Jeongguk speechless, flustered, and a tiny bit hard. 

Yup, he definitely had a crush. 

Jeongguk decided to stay where he was, not wanting to wake Taehyung up. He shifts a little though, testing the waters a little to see if any movement would wake Taehyung up. Once he convinces himself that Taehyung won't wake, he shifts more, little by little, until finally he's facing Taehyung. 

At first, Jeongguk just studies him. He studies the way his lips parted as soft snores escaped from them. He studies the way Taehyung would occasionally rub at his nose, especially when his hair brushed up against it. Jeongguk let out a soft giggle at that, finding his youngest hyung absolutely adorable . 

Jeongguk’s lost in thought as he watches Taehyung sleep, a timid hand going up to brush the strand of hair that had made a home in front of Taehyung’s eye, stopping mid-air. 

This is too intimate, Jeongguk worriedly thought. I shouldn't be doing this. 

He gulps softly, his hand falling back to its resting position and he pushes those thoughts away, a sinking feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

There’s no way Taehyung would go for somebody like me… Why would he when he could have anyone he wanted?

Jeongguk frowned even more. At least he could still dream…

Jeongguk’s little moment of self-deprecation was interrupted by his bedroom door opening. Hoseok walked in with a bright smile on his face, followed by Jimin, who was wearing an equally big smile, and Jeongguk notices something in his arms- a cake? It’s a chocolate frosted cake, with strawberries serving as decorations. Three lit candles stood tall in the middle, becoming revealed when Jimin moved his hand away, presumably to keep the soft breeze of walking from prematurely blowing them out. 

But who was it for? What are they celebrating?

The rest of the group piled into Jeongguk’s small room, clapping and singing a song Jeongguk hasn't heard in years. He’s so confused, and then something shifts behind him and that’s when it clicks in Jeongguk’s head. 

It’s Taehyung’s birthday. 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,” the group sang in unison. 

Taehyung lifted his head groggily, his cheek resting on Jeongguk’s shoulder. A tired smile spread on his face, and despite his half asleep state, Taehyung bops his head to the claps, clearly enjoying the theatrics. Jeongguk’s skin goes a little warm at the contact, his heart practically jumping out of his chest. He tries to calm himself down, tries to think about literally anything but how close Taehyung was to him. 

It’s no use though- especially not when Taehyung presses a gentle kiss to Jeongguk’s shoulder, and oh , the action is so tender, so unbelievably soft and intimate that it has Jeongguk’s heart lurching and pounding against his ribcage. He’s almost convinced that the organ was going to jump out of his chest. Was this what having such strong feelings someone felt like? Was Jeongguk already so gone for Taehyung that even the simplest of things had him blushing like a schoolgirl?

Taehyung giggles at Jeongguk’s state, leaning over to blow the candles out. The movement pushed Taehyung’s body more onto Jeongguk, causing Jeongguk to bite down on his lip to prevent himself from making any kind of noise- because at this rate, he was going to start making the wrong kinds of noises , and he did not want that; not here, not now, not ever.

“It’s your birthday, hyung?” Jeongguk cleared his throat, realizing just how shaky his voice had sounded. Of course Taehyung picked up on the nature of Jeongguk’s voice, the smirk on his face evidence of his knowledge on just how he’s affecting Jeongguk. 

“Yup!” 

Jeongguk pouted, feeling a little guilty that he didn't know. He would’ve put something together for Taehyung, buying the elder anything being out of the question since Jeongguk literally had no money. He grimaces at that, internally screaming. He would have to find a way to make money, and soon , because the sooner he could start repaying the others for everything they’re doing for him, the better.

Jimin and Seokjin both went back into the kitchen with the cake to cut it into slices for everyone to enjoy, the others moving to the living room, all of them clearly eager for Taehyung to open his presents. This made Jeongguk feel even worse about not getting Taehyung anything, not even a card . 

Taehyung of course notices the shameful expression on Jeongguk’s face, a soft smile gracing his own as he rests a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“It’s okay that you didn’t get me anything. Your presence is enough of a gift, doll.”

Jeongguk’s eyes went wide and his cheeks were painted with a deep, flushed red. Jeongguk’s mind was just pure goop now, unable to comprehend that one, Taehyung called him a gift, and two, Taehyung called him doll.

Taehyung called him doll?

Taehyung called him doll. 

“Yeah, I did just call you doll, doll ,” Taehyung giggled, and the others couldn’t help but break into fits of laughter, amused by Taehyung’s ability to tease the youngest so easily. That’s when Jeongguk reached peak embarrassment because why does his brain just have to say his thoughts out loud sometimes? And why was Taehyung able to affect him so easily like this? 

Jeongguk was hardly one to get crushes or strong feelings for someone, not since the boy that he shared his first kiss with. He was never one to develop feelings, or have someone catch his eye (well, not unless Seokjin counted), yet he’s laying here next to someone who he had just met less than a month ago and has already wormed his way into securing a home in Jeongguk’s heart.

It scared him. It scared him how much he liked Taehyung. It scared him how easily he was starting to warm up to the group, and how much he had already cared about them. It especially scared him to think about making one mistake, a slip up, anything , that would make the group kick him out, sending him back on the streets to fend for himself. 

“Yah, Taehyungie, don’t break our baby, he only just got here,” Seokjin let out a soft laugh as he walked out of the kitchen with Jimin close behind, their hands filled with small plates of cake. 

The our baby has Jeongguk embarrassingly squealing, his face diving straight into the nearest cushion. He didn’t know how much more his heart could take. He couldn’t even look up when Jimin sets a plate of cake next to him, feeling way too unbearably shy to face any of them right now. Taehyung just lets out a laugh, his hand messing with Jeongguk’s tousled locks. 

“Why would I want to break him? He’s the most precious thing ever, he deserves to be cherished and protected from ever breaking!”

Yup, Jeongguk was doomed . 

Chapter Text

“Wake up Jeonggukie, it’s the last day of 2022!” 

Jeongguk was awoken by two bodies suddenly piling on him. He squinted his eyes open to see the beaming puppy-like faces of Jimin and Taehyung shining down on him, brighter than the warm rays of light seeping through the curtains that Jimin had spread open seconds prior. 

It’s a little too early to be blinded by so much beauty , he thought to himself, a slight smile tugging at his lips as he took in the shining expressions of Jimin and Taehyung. 

“Wakey wakey! Time to get up! Hyungs are making breakfast!” Jimin sang, his otherwise angelic voice a little too loud for the early mornings. Taehyung grunted in agreement, wiggling around in the bed hoping that the movement would wake Jeongguk up faster. 

“Mm, morning hyung,” Jeongguk’s husky morning voice made Jimin do a double take, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape as he stared at the small teenager who was still just barely awake. 

“Dang Jeonggukie, where have you been hiding that voice?” Jimin exclaimed, laughing at the blush that rose on Jeongguk’s cheeks. Was his voice really that deep? 

“It just comes out,” he drawls out as he stretches, sleep still having a tight, warm grasp on his body. Taehyung tried his best to wriggle Jeongguk free of that grasp, his slender fingers poking and prodding at various different spots on Jeongguk’s body. Jeongguk couldn't help but giggle, the ticklish sensation effectively tugging him out from the comforting hug of sleep, and he finally sits up, feeling much more awake than he was just mere seconds ago. 

The trio make their way down to the kitchen, Jeongguk still adjusting to being out of the comfort and warmth of his bed. Just like Jimin said, Seokjin was there making food, being accompanied and helped by Yoongi.

“Hey little one,” Seokjin grinned upon seeing the endearing sight of a dazed Jeongguk being dragged in by an overly eager Taehyung. A faint blush rose on Jeongguk’s cheeks at the pet name, warmth bubbling deep in the pit of his stomach. Ever since the previous morning, Seokjin had been sticking exclusively to that pet name, forgoing the usual ones in favor of the one that so clearly made Jeongguk melt into a flustered puddle. 

Seokjin had eagerly told the others this newfound fact after he had laid Jeongguk back down in his bed. The others were instantly cooing and awing, practically squealing at the prospect of Jeongguk becoming bashful so easily with the adorable nickname. Jeongguk was already cute to them in general, but yet, the group still act like they don’t already know that for a fact .

When Jimin had heard of the youngest’s love of the affectionate nicknames, he had decided that the next time he laid eyes on him would be the perfect opportunity to use the name he had come up with. 

“Are you hungry, lovely ?” 

The younger brunette stared up at Jimin in shock, nearly stumbling over his words. He didn’t even realize the question at first, in a total stupor as his mind replayed that name over and over again in Jimin’s voice.

Seokjin laughs lightly, shaking his head in amusement as he turns to face the trio.

“Yah, Jiminah, leave the poor kid alone.”

“What?” Jimin says with a smile, feigning innocence. “Can I not call him that?” He turns to Jeongguk. “You don’t like me calling you that?” 

And the pout that Jimin wears on his face makes Jeongguk want to absolutely scream I fucking love it when you call me that, but he settles for a simple shake of his head.

“I do!” He musters out, stumbling over his words a little. “I,” he trails off a bit, “I like it a lot.”

“Then it’s settled, your new name is lovely. It fits you, because you’re so lovely,” Jimin takes Jeongguk’s face into his hands, lightly squeezing the soft cheeks together, making Jeongguk’s lips pout out from the action. Jimin just coos, his thumbs stroking softly at the soft skin of Jeongguk’s cheeks. He couldn't help but let his eyes trail down, glancing at the younger’s soft pink lips, and he grows silent for a moment.

Jeongguk notices this straight away, his hand flying up to his mouth. 

“Is there something on my face?” He questions, a morbid expression dawning across his features. 

Jimin quickly snaps out of his daze, his reaction equivalent to that of a deer caught in headlights. He lets out a shy giggle, a sound that definitely did not go unnoticed by his audience of boyfriends. 

Taehyung’s definitely asking about that later.

“Ah, nothing on your face but beauty.” Jimin replies smoothly,  giving Jeongguk a bright smile. He pulls the brunette in for a tight hug, not missing the way the younger squeaked and attempted to hide his burning face from prying eyes. 

“Aish, you two are so cute, I’m gonna die ,” Taehyung whined, walking up behind Jeongguk and wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist, his limbs long enough to reach Jimin and tug him closer so that Jeongguk was effectively squeezed between them.

Jeongguk malfunctions .

He actually properly malfunctions: his mind is going blank at the weight and the warmth surrounding him, at the smells of a freshly showered Jimin and the musky, woodsy scent of Taehyung mingling together beautifully in his nose, at the arms wrapped around his small, tiny waist (he’s always had a thing for men that made him feel small in the best way possible), at the heat and warmth radiating off the two, making Jeongguk feel just how close they were.   

“Why don’t you take a seat in the dining room, doll? Hyungs are almost done,” Taehyung said, grinning upon seeing the flush that coated Jeongguk’s cheeks. 

Jeongguk makes his way over to the dining room with a banana milk in hand now, cheeks still flushed a dark red. He takes a seat next to Namjoon who was clearly deep into the book he was reading, a faint crease between his furrowed, focused brows. 

It takes him a moment to notice the new presence next to him and he looks up, greeting Jeongguk with a warm smile. 

“Morning, bun,” Namjoon greeted in a casual manner before directing his attention back to his book. 

“Morning hyung,” Jeongguk greets back with a smile. He starts to take a sip of his milk, and then- his brain registers the pet name, making Jeongguk nearly choke on his drink, staring up at Namjoon with wide eyes. Namjoon sits up straighter in alarm, book now forgotten about as he eagerly pats Jeongguk on the back. 

“Are you okay?” He asked almost immediately after Jeongguk’s coughing subsides. All Jeongguk could do was nod, still too taken aback by the new nickname to add to his growing collection. 

Was everyone just on a ‘Let’s make Jeongguk flip by calling him names that gets his heart wanting to jump out of his chest’ train today? He thinks to himself. 

“I’m fine,” Jeongguk stutters out, “wrong pipe,” he lies. If he had been looking at Namjoon for a second longer, he would've caught the knowing smirk the man was wearing. Alas, all the teenager could do was stare at his hands in his lap in pitiful shame and pray to god that Namjoon forgets about this little incident in the next couple minutes. 

But something Jeongguk failed to pick up about Namjoon in the whole month he’d been living with them?

This man had a playful, teasing side to him. 

They're sat at a full table moments later, plates piled with delicious food. The usual morning chatter is filling the air as seasonings and condiments were passed around, family breakfasts a familiar routine all of them had down. 

“Careful bun, wouldn't want to choke again, would you?” Namjoon says when he sees that Jeongguk was enjoying Seokjin and Yoongi’s masterpiece of a meal a little too eagerly, and Jeongguk had to remind himself to swallow before he started choking again, his cheeks betraying him as they returned to their seemingly permanent state, a deep rosy shade. 

“ Again ?” Taehyung exclaims in alarm, concerned eyes immediately settling on Jeongguk. Seokjin glanced over at the younger too, a worrying crease between his brows. 

“Ah, he just had a little incident with his milk earlier. Wrong pipe, wasn’t it?” 

Jeongguk has never wanted the ground to swallow him more in his life. 

After breakfast was over and the chatter dulled down to a comfortable silence, Taehyung and Namjoon offered to do the dishes, and the rest headed off their own separate ways to utilize the rest of the early morning. 

Jeongguk honestly didn’t know what he wanted to do in that moment. However, he knew he wanted the company of another person, so his first choice that morning? 

Hoseok. 

Admittedly, Hoseok was the one Jeongguk had spent the least amount of alone time with. It wasn't because he didn't want to- it was simply because he never had a chance to. 

When the dancer was home, he was always either engrossed in his studies, or hanging out with someone else in the house, and sometimes Jeongguk or another would join in. 

But they never really had a lot of one on one time, and Jeongguk wanted to change that- he wanted to get to know Hoseok a little bit more, because honestly? 

He admires Hoseok. Admires Hoseok’s ability to radiate sunshine and happiness wherever he goes. Admires how driven he is in his passion, in dancing, and how he dedicated his waking moments to perfecting his craft. Admires his attentive nature in conversations with the others, and how he always knew how to bring comfort and light to situations that would've otherwise remained in the dark had it not been for him. 

“Hoseokie-hyung?” He knocks on the door to Yoongi and Hoseok’s shared room timidly, earning a cheerful come in! in response. 

Grinning, he opens the door fully ready to indulge in conversation, only to freeze mid-entrance when he sees one of the most breath-taking sights in front of him. 

Hoseok was almost nearly naked, wearing only a pair of briefs that left very little to Jeongguk’s imagination. It was clear he was in the middle of picking out an outfit for the day, varying tops and bottoms of different colors and patterns laying all over his bed. 

And when Hoseok turns to greet Jeongguk again, Jeongguk actually feels the wind get knocked out of him because holy fucking shit, he’s so fucking pretty . 

Hoseok had been in the dancing scene since before he could even walk, so his body was lean and toned, muscles wrapping around bones in all the right places. He had a defined v-line that disappeared into the snug waistband of his underwear, and Jeongguk had to force his eyes to stop there because if he looked any further, his mind would definitely wander to places that it shouldn't be. 

When he directs his gaze upwards to avoid looking at that area, marks of black on his torso catches Jeongguk’s eyes and-

The man has fucking tattoos.

Jeongguk tried to convince himself that it was his hoodie that was making him feel hot. He tried to convince himself that he was starting to sweat because Hoseok’s room was a little warmer than the rest of the house, and his body was just adjusting to the change in temperature. He tried to act like he didn't want to see the rest of the ink that disappeared down Hoseok’s thighs into his briefs. He tried to act like he didn't want to see Hoseok’s body in its full glory, and preferably on top of him. 

Key word tried . 

“Jeonggukie? Everything okay?” Hoseok asks when the teenager doesn't move from his spot for a moment. Jeongguk’s head jerked up, eyes locking with Hoseok’s own as his mouth opened and closed in a poor attempt to make words leave his mouth. 

“Yeah!” He throws out breathlessly.

“Aish, sorry you’re seeing me like this, let me put some pants on!” Hoseok laughed, not quite catching on to the effect he was having on Jeongguk as he turned to grab a pair of loose fitting sweats. 

“Erm, you have tattoos?” Was the best Jeongguk could muster out to fill the silence, his brain still in a teenage-hormone driven horny state. 

That’s definitely what he was gonna blame it on. Pure, horny, teenage hormones. 

“Yeah!” Hoseok grinned, looking down at his own body as if to confirm. “I know I don't seem like the type, a lot of people actually get pretty surprised when they see them. I guess I like that, it gives me a bit of a hidden bad boy vibe,” he says with a laugh, tugging the pants up his legs. 

“Can I…” 

“You want to look? Be my guest,” Hoseok’s grin had a hint of pride to it, smugness lacing his words. Jeongguk’s cheeks return to their pink tone as he takes a few timid steps forward. 

The tattoos were small ones placed patchwork-style sporadically across the dancer’s waist and chest, the biggest one being a butterfly that couldn't have been larger than Jeongguk’s palm. He notices the cartoon-like nature of most of them, looking more like doodles rather than intricate patterns of details and lines that a lot of people typically go for in tattoos.

“They fit you really well, hyung,” he says after a moment, not getting the courage to look up at Hoseok after he just openly ogled his body. 

“Thank you!” Hoseok’s cheery voice cuts through the slight tension Jeongguk was feeling. “Actually, a lot of them are Taehyungie’s designs! He made them specifically for me,” the dancer fondly smiled, peering down at his own body as he recalled the separate occasions Taehyung had come to him with a new doodle. 

Jeongguk looked at the tattoos again, this time awe on his face. “He drew these?” Before he could stop himself, he brings a finger up to a tattoo on Hoseok’s lower chest, a linework style piece of a small cherub holding a shaded rifle. Hoseok lets out a soft laugh, and it's only then Jeongguk realizes just how close they were- all he had to do was look up and boom, Hoseok’s face would be right there.

And if Hoseok notices the way Jeongguk’s hand goes from tracing his tattoo to laying flat on his chest, just above his heartbeat- he doesn't say anything. 

“He always says I tend to be aggressive with my love sometimes… That when I love, it’s like a rapid fire thing, and I’m just firing all these different shots hoping that one of them would eventually hit someone, reach them. Hence the rifle. And the placement, it’s almost directly above my heart.” 

Hoseok’s voice was more of a whisper now, the close proximity combined with the heat of Hoseok’s breath against his forehead sending so many signals straight to Jeongguk’s dick. He feels his breath hitch when Hoseok places a hand on top of his, long slender fingers easily wrapping around Jeongguk’s smaller, slightly chubbier ones. He feels warmth flood his stomach when Hoseok’s thumb rubs at the base of Jeongguk’s pointer finger. 

If any of the others were to walk in on the two of them now, they would definitely be able to feel the tension that was starting to grow and blossom between the two. Jeongguk’s eyes were fixated on his and Hoseok’s hands, Hoseok’s own looking down at him, locked on the younger’s eyes, even if the contact was one-sided. Jeongguk doesn't move- neither does Hoseok, the silence slowly engulfing them whole as they stood still, lost to the world around them. It wasn't until Hoseok’s free hand fell down to the younger’s waist that Jeongguk finally looked up at him, and oh.

Hoseok’s eyes were warm, almost immediately pulling Jeongguk in. The brunette’s eyes flickered down, landing on Hoseok’s lips before looking back up at the redhead’s eyes. There’s a glint in them this time, a hint of lust that disappears just as quickly as it appeared. 

“So sweetcheeks, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?” Hoseok speaks after a beat of silence, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips. 

A gasp falls out of Jeongguk before he could catch it, suddenly realizing the compromising position they were in and immediately he takes a step back, clearing his throat and tugging at the sleeves on his- well actually, Namjoon’s- hoodie. 

“Ah, I, well, um, I just,” Jeongguk could only stutter, his mind trying to revive itself after the little moment he had just shared with the dancer. Hoseok just smiles in understanding, resting his hands atop the younger’s shoulders. 

“Aw, you want to spend time with hyung, don't you? Of course I’d love to! Give me a second, and we can chat for a bit, yeah?” The sudden shift in the atmosphere made Jeongguk’s head spin, but he nodded anyway, trying to force out a smile that didn't make it seem that he was literally just thinking about Hoseok pressing him against the wall and kissing him. 

The two settled on watching some of Hoseok’s favorite movies on his laptop, cuddled up into the other on his bed. The closeness was different from earlier, this time a more comforting kind of touch that had Jeongguk snuggling closer for more. 

They don't really pay too close attention to the movies, instead choosing to engage in conversations about anything and everything. 

“How did you know dancing was what you wanted to do, hyung?” Jeongguk looks up at Hoseok from where his head rested on the dancer’s shoulder, curiosity in his eyes. 

“Ah, well… It wasn’t always a linear thing, my passion for dancing,” Hoseok begins. He goes on to tell the story like an author narrating his autobiography, telling Jeongguk about how he was always a dancing baby. His parents knew every single time they saw their youngest son wiggling away at any chance he got that Hoseok would grow up to be a dancer. They enrolled him in classes early on, and even allowed Hoseok to attend a specialized dance high school in the next town over instead of the general local one. 

Hoseok hit a block his sophomore year- two months into the school year, he started to struggle with depression. The stress of his upcoming junior year, combined with the pressure of keeping his grades up all while trying to live as a teenager? He succumbed to it, convincing himself that he wasn't made for dancing. After practice, he would cry in the bathroom, wondering if he would ever make it in the dancing world. In his bedroom, he spent hours scrutinizing himself, convincing himself that he was the worst dancer on the planet, and that everyone who thought otherwise just complimented him out of pity. 

It shocked his parents when he asked to transfer schools to the local one before his junior year started. They had seen the way Hoseok’s eyes lit up when he perfected a choreography. They had watched and awed over how their son became a new person on stage. They had listened to and praised Hoseok continually and frequently when he had doubts about pursuing dance as a career. They just couldn't understand what exactly was causing their son so much distress that he wanted to leave the only thing he knew, the one thing he grew up knowing, a part of his identity. 

“I felt like I couldn't get moves down anymore. Every time I danced, it was like I was having an out-of-body experience, watching myself fail repeatedly again and again, and so I convinced myself that this wasn't my destiny. That dance wasn't my calling.” Hoseok isn't looking at Jeongguk. He’s looking straight at the laptop, although he wasn't exactly watching the moving picture. 

And Jeongguk understood. Vulnerability was hard enough, and trying to maintain a connection with someone while you're being so vulnerable and open? That was even harder. 

So he doesn't make a move to initiate eye contact with him. He lets Hoseok speak, giving a hum here and there to let the other know he was still listening. He drinks in every word Hoseok spills, lets his hand be held by Hoseok’s, offering a silent comfort as Hoseok laid himself bare for Jeongguk to see. 

“And then one day, I was out on a walk. I had just snapped at my mother for the millionth time, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and everything just felt so suffocating . So I snapped at her, I yelled and threw things. Not at her, I could never… But I did throw a coffee mug on the ground by her feet. And I ran. I ran out of that door so quick I thought I knocked it off its hinges for a moment,” Hoseok let out a weak laugh.

“And I was on this nice little street, one of those busy ones lined with all sorts of shops and cafes and apartments, you know? I came across this dance battle. At first, I wanted to turn the other way- seeing anything dance related just pained me and only made the ache in my heart worse. But… I saw the way this dancer moved. It was like… It was like dancing was like breathing for him. Like he wasn't moving with the music, the music was following him . And despite it being a competitive scene, he looked so happy to just be there. He looked carefree, like he was having so much fun and nothing in the world could ever top that experience for him. And I remembered thinking, that’s how I feel when I dance. I feel like I’m on top of the world, like nothing can touch me. It’s just me and the beat I’m dancing to, and that’s when I knew this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life."

“I went back home hours later, and I apologized to my parents in tears. I explained to them how I had been feeling, and that I had a sort of epiphany and rediscovered my love for dancing. And I went back to the same school for my last two years, before graduating and going into the major I’m doing today.”

“Wow,” Jeongguk breathes out, “hyung, that’s…” he looks up at Hoseok, the two meeting eyes. 

“I honestly can't imagine you not being a dancer. Like, it’s just you ,” Jeongguk’s voice held nothing but awe, Hoseok giggling down at him.

“That’s what people always say. I guess I made the right decision then,” Hoseok says with a smile. 

And the rest of their conversations became much lighter, and before they knew it, it was nearing five in the evening, the two of them emerging from Hoseok’s room feeling completely happy and satiated, joining the rest of their housemates. 

While Jeongguk and Hoseok were talking away, the others settled on having a karaoke night when deciding on a fun way to end the year. Seokjin set up the game and the microphones, while Yoongi agreed to set up a charcuterie-styled platter with various snacks and bites for the group to share, getting Hoseok to help him once he saw that the two had rejoined them. Namjoon was busy setting up the living room to feel more of a fun and cozy vibe, putting pillows and blankets on the ground while moving around some of the furniture in an effort to maximize the floor space that they had. 

And then there were the three youngest.

“Psst, Jeongguk, come here!” Jimin whispered-yelled, a curious Jeongguk walking over to where he was, hunched down next to a giggling Taehyung.

“So, we think you should have the fullest and bestest experience of your first ever karaoke night, so here.” Jimin hands Jeongguk a small glass, and the youngest immediately recognizes the nature of the shot glass, wide eyes looking up at the two. 

“Alcohol?” He stuttered out. He’s never drank before. To be fair, he wasn’t even of legal age just yet, he still had another year to go. 

“Yes!” Jimin giggled. “Don’t worry about getting in trouble, it’s not like you’re in public or buying it.” 

Jeongguk still eyes the glass warily. It’s not that he didn't want to drink, he was quite curious about alcohol; it was just that he was worried about getting in trouble, even if Jimin tone was reassuring, and they were in the safety of their house, so nobody outside of their little group would ever know. 

Another glance at the older blonde though eased any additional nerves and he takes the glass into his hands, gently, wary of the liquid sloshing around. 

Taehyung could sense the hesitancy in Jeongguk’s movements and he places a gentle hand over his, giving the teen an understanding smile when the two lock eyes. 

“It’s okay if you don't want to, Jeonggukie. Say the word and I’ll drink it instead.”

“I want to! I’m just… I won’t get in trouble?”

“We’ve all had a drink or two before we were legal, it’s okay lovely,” Jimin giggles, the sound sending a warmth down Jeongguk that not even alcohol could mimic. Jimin’s giggles were beautiful, a melodic sound that could soothe even the most distressed baby. 

Nodding, Jeongguk looks down at the shot again, and he starts to bring it up to his lips when he hears a gasp from the entrance of the kitchen. 

“Park Jimin!” Seokjin exclaims in disbelief, grabbing the shot glass out of Jeongguk’s hand. At first, Jeongguk’s scared- Seokjin didn't seem pleased, a stern look on his face while his free hand rested on his hip. 

Panicked, Jeongguk looked over at Jimin, but the mischievous blonde just giggles up at his boyfriend, an innocent smile on his face.

“Yes hyung?” When hearing the playful tone in Jimin’s voice, Jeongguk relaxed a little, knowing that if he was in any real trouble, Jimin wouldn't be sounding so relaxed. 

“Were you just trying to give the little one alcohol?” Seokjin exclaimed. His distressed face was only amusing to the young trio, Jeongguk even aiding in the giggles that were filling the air. The other three elders were watching the scene unfold, Yoongi and Hoseok looking the most amused while Namjoon just had a hint of concern on his face at Seokjin’s tone. 

“Come on, it’s not like we weren’t drinking when we were his age!” Jimin laughs. “Now give it back, Jeongguk needs to have the full experience of karaoke!”

Seokjin eyes the three of them, his brow quirked in a contemplative sense. Eventually he lets out a soft tsk , handing the glass back to Jeongguk. 

“No more than five, and drink lots of water. And pace yourself!” Seokjin exclaimed the last sentence as he left the room, leaving a cheering Taehyung and Jimin behind to continue with their sneaky escapades. 

With one last look at Jimin, Jeongguk downs the shot like he had seen on television before, and holy shit , the burn was definitely not something the teenager was expecting. He scrunches his face in absolute disgust, body diving involuntarily into a full shudder. 

Jimin and Taehyung absolutely lost it at Jeongguk’s reaction, Jimin nearly doubled over in fits of laughter while Taehyung threw his head back in a hearty cackle. Jeongguk simply glared and pouted at the two, and then looked down at the shot glass as if it had offended him. 

“That was nasty!” He whined.

“It’s not supposed to taste good! Just has to feel good,” Jimin grins, grabbing two additional glasses out of the cabinet to pour some shots for him and Taehyung. 

“You could've told me!” Jeongguk shuddered again, the aftertaste a strong bitter mark laying on his tongue. 

Yoongi, who was watching the whole thing from where he was leisurely chopping up some fruit, appeared next to Jeongguk with a sweet tea in hand, an amused smile on his face. 

“That’s why you have chasers, angel.” 

This time, Jeongguk wasn't the only one who was taken aback by the new pet name now being written on his permanent name tag- Taehyung and Jimin were also staring at their boyfriend in silent shock. 

Yoongi was the last person to start using pet names in their relationship- even the simplest baby was a rare occurrence to hear falling from his lips. The two knew it firsthand- it had been months into their relationship before Yoongi even took to calling them anything other than their names, and even after that, it only happened here and there, mainly when Yoongi was feeling extra in love with his partners. 

“Thank you,” Jeongguk finally takes the bottle from Yoongi’s outstretched hand, and he takes a sip, feeling much better now that the taste of the vodka wasn't as strong on his tongue. 

Jimin refills Jeongguk’s shot glass, and the three youngest all take two more shots together, all of them grimacing each time as soon as the alcohol hits their tongues, chasing the bitter flavor away with the sweetness of fruit teas. 

Moments later, they join their other housemates in the living room, eager to start their night of fun. Deciding who would be the first contestant up was easy- all of them unanimously agreeing on Jeongguk, Jimin eagerly handing the karaoke microphone over to him. 

“I can’t sing,” Jeongguk whines, trying desperately to avoid the microphone that was being shoved in his chest. 

“No one cares if you sound like a dying walrus little one, this is all just for fun,” Seokjin laughed. Finally, Jeongguk took the microphone but not without sending the others a petty pout, and the music started, courtesy of Taehyung. He recognizes the beginning of one of his favorite songs right away, sending a shy, thankful smile to the elder in charge. Then he starts to sing, losing himself in the carefree melody of the music. 

By the time he’s done, all six men are staring at him with wide eyes and open mouths, and Jeongguk starts to grow red under the intense attention. 

“What?” He stutters out, not knowing why they were looking at him like that. Was he really that bad? Jeongguk never really sang much, he was more of a quiet listener when it came to music. 

Jeongguk suddenly started feeling embarrassed under the wide gazes and opened mouths, and he’s about to let the ground swallow him whole when Taehyung finally speaks up. 

“Are you a fucking angel or what?”

“Jeongguk, you’re so good !” Hoseok quickly adds. 

“What?” Jeongguk splutters. 

Jimin hops onto the compliment train next. “Your voice is like, the best voice I’ve ever heard what the fuck?”

“You could be an idol with that voice!” Jeongguk didn’t know how to handle all of the compliments being thrown his way. Yes, he was used to the occasional praise and compliment here and there from all of them, Yoongi included, but this was different . Everybody’s attention was on him, their eyes glistening with awe and mouths opened in shock and disbelief. 

Jeongguk couldn't handle another second- he let out a soft squeal and immediately burrowed himself into the closest body, which just so happened to be Taehyung’s.

The second youngest lets out a soft umph at the force, breaking out into a laugh as his hand comes down to thread through Jeongguk’s hair. 

“Aish, our little one’s a little shy, isn’t he?” Taehyung giggles, mussing with Jeongguk’s hair. 

“ Hyung,” Jeongguk whined, playfully shoving Taehyung’s hand off. 

“Our Jeonggukie’s so cute! ” Hoseok cupped Jeongguk’s face in his hands, and Jeongguk has to hold his breath to calm himself down because one- ‘ our Jeonggukie’ had way more of an effect on him than it really should've, and two- he can’t stop thinking about kissing Hoseok, not since earlier that morning, and now the thoughts are coming back in full swing with the weight of the dancer’s hands on his face. 

“Okay, back off, you guys are gonna suffocate him,” Yoongi interjects with a chuckle, Jeongguk shooting him a grateful look when Hoseok’s hands fell from his face.

The rest of the evening flew by, everyone taking turns singing solo and in pairs, the songs switching from ballads to upbeat fun songs to even theme songs of their favorite childhood shows. 

And before long, the clock was nearing midnight, Seokjin turning on the television to tune into the countdown that all of South Korea would be watching as they welcome the new year. 

Bottles of champagne and wine were being passed around, shot glasses bouncing from different hands and lips. They're all full from the meal Seokjin and Hoseok made late in the night, ready to end off the year on full bellies and satiated hearts. 

The time comes, the clock reaching the last minute. They're huddled into each other, arms wrapped around shoulders, sides pressed close together, watching the screen with intense eyes as the show host starts the countdown at the last ten seconds. Thrumming with excitement, their voices gradually get louder the more seconds ticked by. 

“Five, four, three, two, one!” The group erupted into various cheers as the clock hit midnight, and the celebration had just begun- corks popped off of several bottles of bubbly champagne, hugs and cheerful ‘ happy new year’ s were exchanged, and some even began excitedly talking about their new year’s resolutions. 

“I would like to make a toast!” Jimin proclaimed as he stood on the coffee table, clearly drunk as he took a moment to gather his bearings. His housemates looked at him amused, clearly used to his antics. 

However, they weren't really prepared for what Jimin was about to say. 

“A new year is here, and it will be three years of us living together in our beautiful, cozy place that we lovingly call home.” Jimin looks around the living room with a fond smile, his housemates wearing equally fond expressions. “And it will be our first full year with the newest addition to our family,” Jimin looks over at Jeongguk, who just stares at Jimin in shock. 

Family? They considered him a part of their family…

“I’m grateful to be welcoming a new era with you all,” the blonde continues, “and now with Jeonggukie here by our side, I’m excited to see what this year brings us. May you all have wonderful and exciting years. I love you guys!” 

Jeongguk hadn't expected that little lighthearted toast to hit him hard as it did. The fact that Jimin mentioned him, calling him a member of their family , that he implied that Jeongguk would be sticking around for the year, that they would all be together welcoming another year in this very same room in a year’s time- he grew emotional, overwhelmed. 

He doesn't even realize he’s crying until Taehyung brings a hand up to his cheek, thumb swiping away at the tear that had fallen. 

“I hope you weren't thinking that we don't want to spend so many more years with you, doll,” he murmurs sweetly, the hand on Jeongguk's cheek now moving up to thread through his messy locks. 

“I… To be honest, it hadn't crossed my mind just yet that it was going to be a possibility,” he admits, unable to meet Taehyung’s tender gaze. There was a chorus of hums of understanding and coos amongst the others, all of them reaching out to reassure Jeongguk in some way. 

“Well it better be crossing your mind now, because you ain't leaving us just yet- not now, not ever. Even when we’re all old and gray, we’ll be sitting in those rocking chairs at that nursing home together,” Seokjin smiled, ducking down so that his head was level with Jeongguk’s downturned one. 

“You’re never gonna feel alone again.” 

Chapter Text

Seokjin let out a low groan, ignoring the several unfamiliar eyes that landed on him in confusion. He runs his hand through his hair in frustration for the millionth time, the brown strands starting to stick up in every direction imaginable. 

“Sir? Everything okay?” Seokjin startles at the voice, not even noticing a presence next to him. 

His head jerks to the speaker, fully ready to tell him off for sneaking up on an innocent person like that- but he feels the wind get knocked out of him instead. 

Distantly, he can hear the chimes of the bells. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. It’s seven in the evening, a darkness creeping into the once sunny blue sky over them. Yet, the man in front of him is shining brightly, eyes glimmering under the bright, fluorescent lights of the grocery store, smile radiating warmth that Seokjin could only akin to the sun. 

Standing just inches away from him was possibly the most beautiful human Seokjin had even seen, a young man who was almost as tall as he was. His dyed baby blue hair fell in a messy fringe over his brown eyes, thick rimmed black glasses barely keeping the strands out of his vision. Dimples appear on his cheeks as he purses his lips, clearly awaiting the shopper’s response. Seokjin belatedly notices the uniform- he was a worker there. 

“Oh,” the shopping man stutters, looking back at the shelves in front of him. “Ah, my baby brother has the flu, and I, I forgot my contacts today. Could you…” 

He swallows, tries not to let the pounding of his heart reach his throat, but the words escape his mind before they could his lips. It’s fleeting, the soft fondness in the employee’s eyes that arose when their gazes meet. 

Snapping out of it, the employee nodded quickly, pushing his sliding glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Oh, of course! Are you looking for kids’ or adult medication?” 

“Kids, please, he’s seven. Is there a cherry or strawberry flavored liquid? He’s quite picky about that sort of thing.” 

The employee scans the shelves, humming in satisfaction when he finds the best candidate to offer the shopper. 

“Cherry flavored flu and cough medicine, for ages two to ten.” 

Seokjin takes it, ears flushing red when their hands brush and linger on each other for longer than acceptable for complete strangers. The employee shyly pulls his hand away, sheepish smile aimed at the ground. 

“Perfect, thank you so much…” Seokjin realizes he can’t quite read the fine print on the employee’s nametag, and his lips morph into a pout. 

The employee looks at him with an equally timid and endeared smile, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks. “Namjoon, my name’s Kim Namjoon.” 

“Thank you, Namjoon-ssi,” Seokjin bowed his head. “I’m Kim Seokjin.”

“I’ve seen you around a lot. You live in the area?”

“A couple minutes away, yeah,” Seokjin gives him a small smile, words coming easier to him with the pull in his chest settling. “It’s just a pretty convenient location so my family and I come here often.”

“Hmm, well I’m glad we could always be of service to you,” Namjoon smiles, and Seokjin has to quite literally glue his hands to his sides to resist the urge to poke at the worker’s dimples. “I hope your brother gets better, Seokjin-ssi. Give him my well wishes,” Namjoon bowed. “Until next time.” 

And with that he leaves, Seokjin watching after him with a fond smile.

“Yeah… Until next time.”

“Hmm, whatcha thinking about, my love?” A voice pulls Seokjin out of his head, muscular arms coming to wrap around his waist from behind. Seokjin smiles, leaning into the touch as the owner of the arms rested his chin upon the eldest’s shoulder. 

“How we met.”

Namjoon smiles at that, turning his head so that he could look at Seokjin’s side profile. Even having just gotten out of bed, his eldest boyfriend was still just so breathtaking , just as breathtaking as he was four years ago when their paths first crossed. Namjoon doesn't think he could ever get tired of looking at Seokjin; his first boyfriend, his first love , could ever believe that he was his - his to love, his to kiss, his to cherish endlessly. 

“Yeah?” He places a soft kiss on Seokjin's cheek, and then another, and suddenly he’s peppering kisses wherever his lips could reach, alternating between soft and firm presses of his lips. 

Seokjin doesn't look up from where he’s currently cutting up a couple mangoes for a late afternoon snack for the house, a cheesy smile plastered on his face, ears tinted red as he nods. “Yeah.”

“Your crush on me was so obvious back then,” Namjoon teases, an amused laugh erupting from him as Seokjin sends him a glare. 

“Oh shut up, I thought I did a very decent job at hiding it.”

“You literally came in my job and wandered around the same aisle for an hour waiting for me.” 

“I was trying to figure out what I wanted!” Seokjin tried to defend. He knew it was a clear lie, because-

“Hyung, you were in the goddamn baby aisle. You knew that’s where they put me ninety percent of the time,” Namjoon’s unamused tone was nothing but fond, Seokjin’s ears tinting red at the accusation.

“I was preparing for my future!”

“You are literally a gay man who had zero bitches at the time,” Namjoon deadpans.

“And now I have five,” Seokjin grinned. 

“Oh?” Namjoon teases, “so I’m your bitch now?” He grins. “That’s quite hilarious, because if I recall correctly, the other night you were practically begging to be called my little dirty sl-”

Seokjin cuts him off with an elbow to the gut, Namjoon letting out a groan mixed with a laugh. 

“Hmm, that’s what I thought,” Namjoon grinned. 

“You absolute ass-”

Namjoon cuts Seokjin off this time by turning the elder man around and pressing him up against the counter, long arms caging his boyfriend in. He looks down at his lover with a coy smile. 

“Please, do continue that sentence, my love .” 

Seokjin could only gape at Namjoon, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. If there was one thing his boyfriend knew about him, it was that being manhandled was one of his weaknesses. Namjoon and Taehyung consistently played into it, the two of them being the strongest out of all of the boyfriends. Jimin would display his strength less often, also preferring to be manhandled by his boyfriends. Unless of course, it came to the uncommon but not rare occasion of the younger dominating in the bedroom. That’s when he used his arm and core strength to his advantage, his favorite sex position always being fucking his sweet submissive into oblivion as he held them up against the wall. Hoseok and Yoongi were the weakest of the bunch, but they still found a heated kind of pride pulling one of their unsuspecting lovers into their laps at random moments.

And Seokjin was strong enough to easily overpower all of them- though he might struggle with Namjoon a little bit- but he much preferred the feeling of strong arms wrapped around him, almost always instantly turning into putty in their arms, just like how Namjoon had him right now. 

“Asshat,” Seokjin breathed out, eyes locked firmly on Namjoon’s. Namjoon laughs, this time a huskier sound bubbling out of his chest. The tension in their gazes increases tenfold, want blaringly obvious from the way their eyes kept darting down to the other’s lips and back up.

Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s lips met in a near instant, Seokjin setting aside the knife he was holding in favor of wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. The kiss quickly grew heated- most of them had been feeling extra touch starved lately, the commitment of hiding their relationship from Jeongguk keeping them from their usual displays of affection. An innocent kiss in the privacy of a shared bedroom could turn into a full blown make out session in seconds, the tension and need always consuming the couples. 

Seokjin let out a soft gasp when Namjoon’s grip on his waist tightens, pulling them impossibly closer while their tongues seeked entrance into each other’s mouths. Seokjin whines when he feels the press of Namjoon’s crotch against his, heat beginning to simmer deep down in his gut. He hated how easily he fell apart with Namjoon, hated out even the simplest of touches from his younger boyfriend could melt him faster than the hottest fire on the coldest ice. His mind grew hazy with want, with Namjoon, with-

“Hyung!” A voice calls out and the two quickly jump apart, barely creating distance between them just in time for the youngest resident to make his way into the kitchen.

“Hyung, guess-” Jeongguk cuts himself off with a soft gasp, eyes falling on Seokjin’s face. 

“What? Do I have some-”

“Hyung, are you sick? You’re so pink!” Jeongguk exclaimed, hands rushing up to Seokjin’s face. Seokjin just lets out a nervous laugh, eyes darting over to Namjoon, who just watches the two with an amused grin. 

“Aish, I’m fine, little one. It’s just a little warm in here.”

“But… It’s cold in here?” The statement came out more questioning than intended, Jeongguk’s confused gaze flickering between Namjoon and Seokjin. Namjoon kept his eyes glued to the floor, lips pursed tight in an attempt to stop the laughter threatening to spill from him.

“I just run a little warmer than most, I promise I’m feeling just fine, sweetheart,” Seokjin gives Jeongguk a reassuring smile, and thankfully it was enough to satiate the younger because Jeongguk soon bounced back to the excited state he had entered the kitchen with. 

“Jimin hyung is gonna teach me karate!” Jeongguk grins. “I’m gonna learn how to kachow people!” 

Seokjin’s eyes widened as he looked over at Jeongguk, mouth slightly agape in concern. “Aish, I hope you mean only when it's self defense, little one. We do not go around hitting people who don't deserve it.” 

“And if they do deserve it?” Jeongguk pouted. Seokjin groans internally, forcing himself to look away from the current puppy-eyed look the youngest resident was wearing, a coo threatening to erupt from his chest.

He is so adorable, god help me. 

“Ah, there are other ways-”

“You karate chop them in the balls!” A voice joins the three, the owner walking in with a prideful grin on his face. Seokjin huffs- not even three years was close to enough time to grow accustomed to his youngest two boyfriends’ mischief. He could only pray that they wouldn't be so heavy of an influence on the baby. 

“I do hope you're not going around encouraging violence, Park Jimin,” Seokjin sighs chidingly, the younger only grinning as he walks up to his eldest boyfriend, wrapping his arms around the lean, sturdy waist from behind. 

“Ah, but karate isn't violence, hyung. It’s art .”

“Some form of art,” Seokjin grumbles, turning his attention back to the mango. He tries not to let his amusement show when Jimin plants a fat, sloppy kiss on his cheek, instead playfully shoving the blonde away as the two childishly stick their tongues out at each other. 

“You’re just jealous ‘cause you're old and can’t do karate ‘cause your back will break!”

“Yah, Park Jimin, you come here right now!” Seokjin grabs a spatula from a nearby bundle of utensils and runs after a gleeful Jimin, the sounds of their footsteps and laughter filling the quietness of the afternoon air. 

Jeongguk bites back a grin at the scene, turning his attention to Namjoon, who was clearly holding in laughter. He loses the battle with himself though, the eye contact with a giggling Jeongguk only tipping him over the edge. 

“Aish, I think Jiminah was only birthed with the sole purpose of giving Jin-hyung grey hairs in his mid-twenties,” Namjoon sniggers, beginning to rummage around in the cabinets. He pulls out a glass, heading over to the fridge to fill it with water. 

“I wouldn't be surprised if that’s what the universe brought him here for,” Taehyung cackles as he walks in, the distant sounds of yelling and more laughter following him down into the kitchen. He’s clearly amused, but says nothing more as he goes straight to Jeongguk. He wraps his arms around the younger in a similar fashion that Jimin had done to Seokjin just moments ago, nuzzling his nose in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck. The brunette could only squeal, cheeks flushing scarlet at the sudden warmth and delicious musky smell engulfing him. 

“Hmm, you smell good, doll,” Taehyung sighs out contently, his voice husky as if he had just woken up, “is that my shampoo?” Jeongguk’s eyes widened, heart hammering away in his chest, a beat so fast he was certain doctors would fret if they ever listened in. 

He honestly had just grabbed the shampoo that smelled most appealing to him in the shower this morning, but now knowing it was Taehyung’s? 

Jeongguk’s certain he’s gonna get a heart attack at this rate with how fast his heart was beating right now. 

“Hyung,” he whined, growing shy under Taehyung’s touches. No matter what, he just couldn't get used to it- the lingering hands, the airtight hugs, the addicting cuddles, his even more addicting scent- Jeongguk simply couldn't get used to it, but he also couldn't get enough.

Peeling himself away from Jeongguk, Taehyung makes his way over to the abandoned mangos on the counter, taking a slice for himself and eating it happily, a low hum bubbling in his chest as he sways his hips. 

“Ugh, hyung always picks the best mangos.”

Jeongguk tries not to stare at the way Taehyung’s lips wrap around the mango slice, at the way the tiniest bit of juice dribbled down Taehyung’s chin, at the way his tongue darted out to clean it up. 

Before Jeongguk could stop himself, he imagines how Taehyung’s lips would feel against his own, kissing until they were just barely able to breathe properly, feeling everything he felt towards Taehyung ooze into the touch, into the caress, into the love.

He tries not to stare at Taehyung, to let his eyes drift down to his lips, but he fails- and the elder catches him, an amused grin on his face. 

“You wanna take a picture, Jeongggukie? It’ll last longer, you're gonna dry your eyes out like that,” Taehyung teases. And like a movie scene on repeat, Jeongguk’s face returns to its bright pink color, a state it never seems to leave when he’s around the other residents. 

“ Taehyung,” is all Jeongguk can get out, his whiny tone pulling at the corner of Taehyung’s lips. Namjoon’s gaze flickers from his boyfriend to their young friend, a knowing snort leaving him before he could even stop himself. 

He knew this Taehyung all too well, had been on the receiving end long before the two even got together, had seen it again when Taehyung had taken a particular liking to a certain psychology student in his freshman year calculus class, and again when Hoseok had been living in their fourth guest room at first, before he eventually wormed his way into Yoongi’s single bedroom and all five of their hearts. 

At first, and for a long while, he thought Hoseok completed them, their newest boyfriend feeling like a missing piece to the small emptiness they had all admitted to having one drunken night. 

But when Namjoon looks at Jeongguk, he couldn't help but notice that empty feeling making a reappearance. 

And he can see it in his boyfriends’ eyes too. He can see it in the way Taehyung shamelessly flirts and ogles Jeongguk like it’s his personal mission that he's hellbent on succeeding. He can see it in the way Seokjin always makes sure Jeongguk is eating, and taking care of himself. He can see it in the way Hoseok tugs Jeongguk closer to him when they're cuddling on the couch during movie night, the younger unaware of the way the dancer studied the side of his face with a fond smile. He can see it in the way Jimin is always so in tune with Jeongguk’s emotions, always knowing when the teenager needs a little extra support for the day. 

And he can especially see it in Yoongi, even though the musician probably believes he’s hiding it well, Namjoon is absolutely certain that Yoongi giving Jeongguk personal guitar and piano lessons wasn’t just so he could give the teenager a fun and productive way to kill some of his free time in their home. 

And as for himself? He can't help but fight the urge to love Jeongguk every time they had one of their one-on-one English lessons- fight the urge to coo at the way Jeongguk’s eyes lit up like a clear, starry night sky whenever he got his pronunciation right, fight the urge to smooth out the crease between his brows when they would furrow as he grew confused with a definition, fight the urge to kiss him when his lips jutted out in a pout as he spoke. 

He can see how all of his boyfriends had started developing feelings at some point or another for the brunette, even if he knew for a fact they hadn't even realized it themselves. The only one who was so painfully aware of themselves so far was Taehyung, and maybe Namjoon himself too- but he’s not bold like their youngest boyfriend.

Taehyung had always been the bold one. He had been bold when he had first asked both Seokjin and Namjoon on a date after months of helplessly pining for them both, nearly a year and a half after they had met. He had been bold when he had confessed his feelings for Jimin not even months later, in front of his boyfriend Yoongi, confidently operating under the knowledge that the musician had been harboring feelings for Seokjin as well. He had been bold when he asked Hoseok one drunken night if he could kiss the dancer, officially inviting their last partner into their big relationship, just months after the dancer had turned to Jimin and his four boyfriends for help when he had been in a sticky financial situation and had gotten kicked out of his apartment. 

In short, Taehyung was the reason they were all together, happy, in love . And Namjoon can see it, can sense it that Taehyung was running down the same road with Jeongguk, hoping that they would finally gain the final puzzle piece that none of them had even realized they were missing. 

And if Namjoon is hoping that it all works out, well, you didn't hear it from him. 

“I want to go get a new video game to play,” Taehyung says, breaking Namjoon out of his thoughts. “Come with me, doll? We can pick one out together.” 

Jeongguk looks up at Taehyung, a curious expression on his face. It’s obvious he's contemplating it, unsure of how to answer. 

“That’ll be good for you!” Namjoon smiles at Jeongguk. “I don't think you’ve left this place since hyung brought you home, it might be nice to get out into the world again.” Namjoon can see the way Jeongguk visibly relaxes at the older making the choice for him, and the brunette smiles, nodding. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I’d like to come.”

And when Taehyung had taken Jeongguk out to the game store to pick up a new game to play later that afternoon, Jimin had taken the opportunity to gather his boyfriends up.

“So guys, I have something I wanna talk about.” The elder four looked at their younger boyfriend, equal amounts of curiosity and concern in their attentive gazes.

“Jeongguk’s room!”

“What about it, Jiminah?” Seokjin asked. 

“It’s so… plain!” Jimin exasperates, the clear distress in his voice confusing his partners. Was Jimin really getting this worked up over a room?

“Well,” Namjoon tries to interject, “maybe Jeongguk doesn’t like a lot of decorations.” His weary smile does nothing to ease Jimin’s concerns though, as the younger continues on. 

“No, that’s not it. I mean, it doesn’t look like anyone’s room. It literally just looks like a spare room. Like a guest room, only you never have guests over ever, it's only there for when your drunk ass friends can't drive home after a party so you don't even bother decorating it!”

The others say nothing for a while, the realization that Jimin was indeed right sinking in. Had they really not noticed this?  

“Well, where exactly are you going with this?” Seokjin asks. 

“I want to make Jeongguk feel like he lives here. Right now, I’m pretty sure he feels more like a guest.”

“You know, I’ll have to agree with you on that one,” Namjoon interjects. “I don’t think Jeongguk realizes that he’s not just a guest here, he’s living with us now.”

“Exactly! He’s still holding back, I can tell. I think by making him feel at home here, I dunno, maybe he’ll let loose more around us.”

“Well, how would we even go about transforming his room?” Hoseok pouts, looking between his partners. “I mean, he barely leaves the house, this is the first time he’s been out since he got here.”

“I’ve already talked to Tae about this. So, since tomorrow is Sunday and we’re all free, me and Taehyungie will take Jeonggukie out to the mall, we’ll just say we want to go and buy him some clothes since you know, he barely has any of his own. That way you guys can stay behind and get his room all ready! We can get everything we need right now while they're still out, hide them in the back room, and boom we’re all ready for tomorrow!”

Yoongi nods. “That sounds like a good plan. I mean, if I’m being honest, I don’t mind spending a little money on Gguk. He’s been through a lot, he deserves something nice for a change.” 

“I just wanna spoil him because he’s practically my baby at this point.”

“Oh me too, trust me, I’m getting him a whole new wardrobe.”

“What color should we paint his room?”

“Well, I know he likes dark colors. Oh, he did mention something in passing about liking navy blue.”

“Navy blue’s a nice color for a room.”

“Well… Let’s get started,” Seokjin smiled. 

Yoongi went out to get the paint and some supplies since they didn’t really have any. Jimin was on decor duty, since over time they’ve come to find out that Jimin and Jeongguk were actually pretty similar in terms of what they liked 

Namjoon took it upon himself to go to a printing center to print out an abundance of pictures- several of them being selfies or candid pictures that had included Jeongguk and the others, the rest being just aesthetically pleasing pictures that Namjoon thought would help to fill up a bit more of the empty space on the walls. He even sought out some nice picture frames to put them in, settling on simple black and gold ones. 

Hoseok and Seokjin headed out to the mall to do a bit of clothes shopping, eagerly grabbing things that caught their eye that they knew Jeongguk would absolutely love . And maybe they went a little overboard, but they absolutely didn't care- Jeongguk deserved it. 

Jeongguk deserved the whole world, and thankfully, there were six people who were more than willing to give that to him. 

—-

“I can’t actually believe this.”

“Someone pinch me, am I dreaming?”

“This is cuteness overload, holy shit.”

“OMG, I think I’m gonna die.”

“Jimin, did you really just say OMG out loud?”

“Oh my, oh my god, I knew this would happen, I was really hoping that he would come through…”

“There is no way this is actually happening. Is this actually happening?”

“Oh my, oh my god, it’s only you, asking all the time about what I should do…”

“Jiminie, Hoseokie, what in the everlasting fuck are you two singing right now?”

“I don't think I’ve ever seen anything cuter than this!” 

“It’s called OMG by NewJeans, hyung, get with the times.”

“This has got to be like, the universe’s top five cutest sights. Like, the eighth wonder of the world.”

“Ya, why are you telling me to get with the times? I’ll have you know I’m very much up with the times!” 

“Why are you two bickering when this is right in front of us? Save it for another time!”

“I need this image tattooed on my forehead, I can’t.”

“Oh, someone take a picture before they wake up, hurry!”

Animatedly chatting in hushed voices and whispers were all but two of the residents, huddled around the opened door of Jeongguk’s room, cooing and aweing at the sight that beheld them. 

In front of them, nestled up peacefully in Jeongguk’s bed were the missing two, Yoongi and Jeongguk. The two were fast asleep, the teenager curled up in Yoongi’s side with his head on the elder’s chest, hand loosely fisting the fabric of his shirt. Yoongi had an arm loosely wrapped around Jeongguk’s waist, grip securing the other to his side.  

It was Jimin who had discovered them, being on a mission to find his missing boyfriend and Jeongguk and alert them that breakfast was almost ready. When he couldn't find Yoongi in his room, he pouted, but moved to Jeongguk’s room, deciding he would enlist the help of the teenager in finding his second oldest boyfriend. 

What he wasn't expecting however, was to find the two missing residents tucked into each other. His heart warmed endlessly at the sight, and he quickly calls the attentions of his other boyfriends, the rest of them gathering around like moths to a light, immediately in adoration at the scene in front of them. 

Yoongi was the first to open his eyes, lashes fluttering as he tried to blink the sleepy blurriness out of his vision. He’s oblivious to his little audience at first, half-lidded eyes looking down at Jeongguk, a fond smile tugging the corners of his lips up.  

Yoongi hated himself for how harsh he was to Jeongguk in the beginning. Even though he was only trying to protect his family, protect them the way he couldn't protect his parents, it didn't excuse the guilt simmering deep in his gut, flashes of the teenager's scared and hurt expressions running through his mind. 

It’s only been a month since Jeongguk had been introduced to his life, to their lives, but god, it was breathtakingly fast how quickly he stole their hearts. How quickly he stole Yoongi’s heart. 

And now Yoongi was set on making those first two weeks up to Jeongguk, even though the brunette has explicitly stated that he forgave Yoongi for that, that he understood. But Yoongi couldn't forgive himself just yet, he just couldn't- not until Jeongguk knew that he was a part of their home just as much as any one of them were, that he belonged here, that he was safe.

For some reason, realizing he had taken a liking to Jeongguk hadn't scared him, or made him nervous. Not when it felt so natural, so easy, like breathing. Yes, he has five partners, all of whom he loved and cherished deeply- but it was like Jeongguk was a piece he hadn't known he was missing all along, the final piece that would make him feel complete, whole in the way he hadn't felt since his parents were murdered. 

Jeongguk was his redemption, the universe asking for forgiveness for the cruel horrors Yoongi was subjected to in his early life. He was the reward for staying strong, for staying alive , and Yoongi would be damned if he didn't cherish and treat and love Jeongguk like he knew he was destined to. 

He brushed a stray lock of hair off of Jeongguk’s face, leaning down to plant a tender kiss on the younger’s forehead. He let his lips linger there for a moment, eyes closing as his heart fluttered, mouth curling into a smile against the soft skin. 

“Holy fucking shit, that was actually the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life.” 

Yoongi startles at the voice, eyes finally meeting the tender, heart-filled gazes of his lovers. His cheeks turned a faint pink as he tried to hide behind his one hand, the other still trapped under a sleeping Jeongguk. 

“Aish, don't fucking scare me like that.”

“Hyung, not that we care, or don’t find all of this absolutely adorable, but… why are you here? You never sleep in any of our beds!” Jimin pouted. 

Usually, Yoongi would laugh at Jimin’s whiny nature. He would tease a little, poking at how Jimin was just jealous that he wasn't the center of attention like he always begged to be. And they would bicker- Jimin claiming that he just wanted to be loved, and Yoongi playfully denying him that love, only to shower him in hugs and kisses moments later. 

But he only sighs, chest weighing heavy as memories of the early morning revisited his mind. He looks up at his boyfriends, and tells them exactly what had happened just hours ago, leading to the scene that they had walked in on. 

The early, still darkened morning came raucously, loud booms of thunder and harsh poundings of rain rattling the windows of the small house, hardly disturbing the heavy sleepers inside. 

Jeongguk was wide awake though, knees pulled to his chest as his body trembled, jolting with each crack of thunder reverberating throughout the dark, nearly black sky. 

Storms. They were loud and frightening enough, with the bright unpredictable flashes of light wreaking havoc wherever it touched, and the monstrous roars of electricity coursing through dense, thick air. 

His father hated storms. They were a nuisance- interrupting his sleep, the noisy ruckus adding on to his chronic migraines, the ground growing flooded and slippery and wet. 

And whenever his father hated something, he hated Jeongguk more- taking his anger out on the poor, defensless boy, an easy target for his rage even if the child wasn't the direct cause of it. 

“Jeonggukie?” A voice rang out, soft, gentle, kind, unlike the tumultuous sounds that had been rattling in Jeongguk’s head for the past hour. He doesn't look up at the owner though, doesn't want to.

“Hey, it’s just a storm,” the voice soothes when Jeongguk jumps at yet another clap, an involuntary whimper settling in his throat. “You’re safe in here, it’ll pass soon.”

“Could,” the words are barely leaving Jeongguk, his tongue fumbling over syllables and sounds as his anxiety rippled through him, “could you hold me? Please?”

The elder frowns at how thoroughly wrecked Jeongguk’s voice sounded, as if he had been crying himself dry. The teenager barely looked up from where his head was buried in his arms, not even when his back was starting to ache with the position he was in. 

But when he finally looks up, Yoongi’s heart shatters at the devastating look on Jeongguk’s face- his red-rimmed eyes were bleary and wet with a never-ending supply of tears, nose tipped with a delicate pink that would've otherwise been charmingly adorable had it not been for the circumstances, Yoongi wanting to press gentle kisses to it, Jeongguk’s bottom lip trembling as he tries and fails to withhold his sobs. 

Yoongi’s quick to make his way to Jeongguk’s side, shushing him softly as sobs racked through the teenager's body. He lifts the edge of the comforter and slides himself underneath it, arms pulling Jeongguk close to his chest. Jeongguk immediately burrows his head in Yoongi’s neck, shuddering, hiccuping gasps replacing the steadying, slow breaths he so desperately needed. 

“It’s okay angel, hyung’s got you now,” the elder murmured softly, “breathe with me. In, out. In, out. You’re doing so well angel, come on.” He never once let go of Jeongguk, not even when the teenager soon fell asleep, not even when his leg subconsciously draped across Yoongi’s lap, and not even when Yoongi soon fell asleep with him, a soft smile permanently etched on his face. 

Nobody was smiling when Yoongi finished the recollection, all of them looking at Jeongguk with worried eyes. 

“I woke up to use the bathroom, and I heard him crying, I just…” Yoongi looks down at the still sleeping brunette, a tug at his heart when he recalls how distressed he had been. “I couldn't leave him alone.”

“My poor baby,” Jimin frowned, taking a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the sleeping brunette. The need to touch Jeongguk overwhelmed him so he does, his hand going up to tame some of the wild strands of hair sticking out. 

“Aish, he must've been so scared,” Seokjin sighed. 

“Poor thing was all alone through that…”

“I’m gonna fight the clouds for him! How dare they scare my doll!” Jimin and Namjoon lets out equally amused grunts of laughter, while Hoseok and Yoongi just looks at their youngest boyfriend fondly. 

“Quiet Taehyung, you’re gonna wake him up,” Seokjin says with a huff. 

As if waiting for a cue, Jeongguk stirred awake when Yoongi moved, the elder quickly muttering hushed apologies as he tries to coax the teenager back to sleep, but Jeongguk awakens fully anyway, sitting up with a confused look as he takes in the sight of Yoongi in his bed and the others surrounding them. 

“Yoongi hyung? Hyungs? What…” 

“Hey angel, you feeling okay?” Yoongi asked softly, searching into Jeongguk’s eyes with such concern and warmth that Jeongguk found himself getting lost in him, head momentarily going blank as he tries to form a response, to utter a word . 

“Oh… kay?” He gets out, and Yoongi just laughs, fondly mussing Jeongguk’s hair. 

“You remember this morning at all?”

And the early day floods Jeongguk’s mind like a crashing wave, memories hitting him faster than he could keep up with. He whined, growing embarrassed at the recollection. 

“I’m sorry, hyung, I-”

“Hey, don't apologize angel. You have a fear, and your mind reacted to it the way anybody reacts to their own. I’m… I’m just glad I could help.”

The smile on Yoongi’s face is so warm, so genuine, that Jeongguk couldn't help but smile himself. 

“Yeah… You helped a lot… Thank you,” he murmurs, timidly quiet but loud enough for Yoongi to hear. The musician simply pulls him into a tight hug, Jeongguk nuzzling his head into the crook of Yoongi’s neck. He notes how good the elder smells, like warm brown sugar with a hint of cinnamon, a slight smoke smell from Yoongi’s cigarettes enveloping the scent like a thin blanket. 

“I’m always here to help, angel. I’ll keep you safe, promise.” 

Chapter Text

“Jeonggukah, hyungs are all gonna be out of the house today. Taehyungie and I are planning on going to the mall, wanna come along?”

That’s how Jeongguk found himself in the back of Taehyung’s car an hour later, head pressed against the cool glass of the window as he observed the rapidly changing scenery that passes them. Jimin and Taehyung are having a conversation about some idol group that had just debuted, Jeongguk only half-heartedly listening in. 

It was only his second time out of the house, and even though he had only been cooped up for just under two months now, the world outside felt so foreign and new that Jeongguk couldn't help but feel the bubbling rise of anxiety deep in his stomach at the unfamiliarity of his surroundings, despite the fact that he had spent nearly three years memorizing and making mental maps of every nook and cranny of every alleyway that lay hidden between busy buildings. 

He didn't understand why it unraveled his nerves so much, why the sight of the streets that he once called home suddenly felt like he was looking at new, unventured territory. He didn't understand why his heart suddenly lurched when they passed the alleyway he had spent his last days as a homeless person in. He didn't understand why the nausea pooled in his stomach, threatening to make his breakfast reappear in the backseat of Taehyung’s car. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ so hard about, doll? I can practically hear the gears in your brain from over here,” Taehyung muses. 

Jeongguk’s gaze suddenly snap to meet Taehyung’s in the rearview mirror, his cheeks tinting pink at being caught. 

“Ah, just… Thinking,” he chuckles weakly, averting his eyes back out the window. Taehyung and Jimin sneak worried glances at each other, the two finding the younger’s behavior a bit peculiar. 

“Good thinking or bad thinking?” Jimin unintentionally presses. 

When Jeongguk didn't respond, Jimin and Taehyung shared another worried glance. 

“Did I ever tell you how Taehyungie and I met, Jeonggukie?” Jimin peers at the teenager in the rearview mirror when they reach a red light, wondering if maybe he could lure the other out of his mind with a suitable distraction. The grin on his face was nothing short of fond when he sees Jeongguk look up at him with curiosity, a shy smile on his face. 

“No, you haven't.”

“Please no,” Taehyung groans, cheeks already tinting red. 

Jeongguk grew even more curious upon hearing Taehyung’s response, a playful grin forming. “Tell me!” 

Taehyung just laughs, looking over at Jimin as fond looks washed over them, the memories of that day fresh in their heads like it had only happened yesterday. 

Taehyung hummed happily as he made his way to his favorite tree on campus, blanket in one hand and sketchbook and drawing supplies on the other. It was only his second official day on the new campus that he had just transferred to, but he had already taken a liking to this particular tree- a nearly hundred year old thing of beauty, top half slanted just the perfect amount to provide a nice bout of shade from the permeating heat of the sunlight. He discovered it on move-in day while exploring the campus, promptly determining it as his new favorite spot just seconds after laying eyes on the tree. 

He settles his blanket down and takes a seat on top, leaning against the trunk. 

The campus is full of life in the early afternoon- new students exploring, returning students greeting old friends, and everyone in between just enjoying the beautiful weather that Seoul had to offer. The spring semester was starting in full bloom, the warm weather unusual for early January, but no one was really complaining- it had been too cold for months up to that point, so the warmth was graciously accepted like an inviting hug. 

Taehyung had been struck with inspiration that morning, wanting to work on his landscape skills. His strongest suit of art was his still life portraits and his works of abstract art, but lately he’d been wanting to venture into other concepts, and landscape was next on his list.

His phone rings about half an hour into his sketch, boxy grin appearing on his face when he sees the caller ID. 

“Seokjin hyung!” He greets happily, setting his pencil down. 

“Hey love, just checking in on you. How’s campus life treating you so far? Namjoon and I miss you.” Taehyung’s heart fluttered at the petname; he had only been dating Seokjin and Namjoon officially for a week now, but it still felt so surreal, how the couple had welcomed him into their relationship with open arms. 

“Really good… It’s different from Daegu, the people here are so cool! I met this girl yesterday, she had the coolest style hyung, like she was so badass and shit! Anyway, I found out she’s a welding major. A welding major! Like ugh, could you be any more badass?” 

The laugh Taehyung hears from Seokjin makes his heart skip a beat. It was his laugh that Taehyung had fallen for first- so lighthearted and airy, a melody that Taehyung had wanted to hear on repeat. 

“I’m so glad you're making friends already, I told you you would!” Taehyung smiles, fingers fiddling with a loose thread on his sweater- Seokjin’s sweater actually. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna have loads of them by the end of this semester, you and hyung are gonna be fighting for my time!” 

“Yah, we’re your boyfriends! Your time should be ours,” Seokjin laughed. 

“Don't worry hyung. There’s always a reserved spot in my schedule for some prime boyfriend time.”

They talk for a little while longer, Namjoon even saying a few greeting words before he had to leave for work. The call ends with a few sweet goodbyes, and before long Taehyung is alone with his sketchbook again.

Still in a good mood from the call, Taehyung goes back to working on his sketch. He’s focused on it for another ten minutes before the sound of yelling interrupts his zone. 

“It was a friendly hug! Jesus, it wasn't like he was trying to get in my fucking pants!”

“He grabbed your ass, Jimin! He’s been trying to get in your pants since last semester!” The second voice huffs, and Taehyung can’t help but lean a little closer, fully invested in these two strangers’ relationship now. 

“Not everyone I’m friends with wants to get in my pants, Yoongi! Jesus Christ, stop being so possessive!”

“You just don't realize how hot you fucking are! Half the student body practically foam at the mouth at the idea of getting a chance in bed with you!” The man named Yoongi scoffed, crossing his arms. At that statement, Taehyung took a good look at Jimin, and he couldn't lie, he was indeed very attractive. He totally understands the student body. 

“Oh please, that is not true!” Jimin then looks around them as if searching for something, and then lets out a noise of accomplishment when he spots Taehyung. 

“You!” Taehyung is shocked, pointing at himself for confirmation when Jimin marches over to him, a fully determined look on his face. 

“Do you think I’m hot?”

If the real world were a cartoon, Taehyung was certain his jaw would've dropped to the floor in that moment. His eyes flickered between Jimin and Yoongi, Yoongi looking more amused than anything. The man quirks his brow, and Taehyung takes it as a silent message of ‘I'll kill you if I don't like your answer.’

“Uh… Yeah?”

“Do you wanna fuck me?”

Taehyung chokes on absolutely nothing, the bluntness of the stranger's question unintentionally throwing him into a coughing fit. 

He collects himself in seconds, but keeps his gaze downward, afraid to look at the boyfriend. 

“Kinda? You’re like… scarily hot right now.” Jimin’s face just falls as his cheeks flushed red but Yoongi breaks down in laughter, barely able to keep himself upright. “I’m taken though!” Taehyung quickly adds. 

“Told ya,” Yoongi finally says once he calms down, Jimin just glaring at him. 

“Oh, shut up,” he huffs before storming off, Yoongi staying behind. He looks Taehyung up and down, almost analyzing him before he just grunts. 

“You’re cute, and you proved my point, so I’ll let that slide. But go near him, and I’ll personally make sure you can never draw again.” 

Taehyung could only gulp, eyes wide as he nods brokenly. Yoongi’s smile is cheeky as he brings his hand down, playfully mussing with Taehyung’s hair. 

“Take care,” and with that, he’s gone, leaving a very confused Taehyung behind. 

Jeongguk was in tears by the time Taehyung finished the story, struggling to catch his breath with how much he was laughing. 

“So let me get this straight- hyung and his boyfriend were fighting because Jimin is too hot, and you just straight up confirmed this boyfriend's point by saying you would fuck him? And then the boyfriend thanked you and threatened you? Even though you said you were taken?”

“Jimin’s boyfriend is- was…” Taehyung cleared his throat, exchanging a quick glance with Jimin that, in Jeongguk’s opinion, was a little suspicious , “a very possessive type. Honestly he probably still is, he always had that vibe to him. Never liked anybody touching what was his. Hated me when Jimin and I first became friends actually,” Taehyung laughed. 

Jeoungguk couldn’t help but notice Taehyung’s small slip up- did he say ‘is’ first? Is Jimin still dating this guy? Is there something more to the story?

“Eh, I wouldn't say hate. He’s just… protective,” Jimin giggled. 

There it is again, Jeongguk thinks, they're talking about this guy like Jimin is… Like he’s still dating him.

The teenager frowns unknowingly. He can't recall if Jimin ever mentioned being in a current relationship. He can't even recall Jimin spending time with anyone other than the six of them, save for the rare occasions that Taehyung would come home without him, claiming that the elder was simply out with his friends. 

Were the ‘friends’ actually his boyfriend?

Not that Jeongguk would care if Jimin actually had a boyfriend- no, he would actually be ecstatic to know that someone as wonderful and lovely as Jimin was getting the proper love and affection that he rightfully deserved. But if Jimin really did have a special someone in his life then… Why didn't Jeongguk know? Were they not as close of friends like he truly thought they were? Was something as simple as a relationship too out of the realms of their friendship to even mention ? He looked down at the blue stringed bracelet on his wrist, heart sinking when he remembers how excited Jimin had been to give him the thin accessory, how proud he and Taehyung had looked when they both showed off their matching ones. 

The teenager chewed on his lip, suddenly overanalyzing every single interaction he had with the others. Did all of them have a special someone? Simple, mundane secrets that they had been keeping from Jeongguk because they didn't trust him enough? Because they didn't think he would be sticking around long enough to want to know the small details about their everyday lives? Fuck, is Taehyung…

No, Jeongguk simply did not want to think about that. He wanted to have his crush on the elder in peace, to live in his delusions and fantasies that the strong feelings he was harboring were actually reciprocated and that he did indeed have a chance with the artist. Even if he knew for a fact he would end up being hurt further down the road, at least for now, he could hide his own true emotions under the safety blanket of his imagination. 

When they reached the mall, Jeongguk couldn’t help but let out a small gasp at the sheer size of the building. It was huge , one of the biggest malls Jeongguk had ever seen. The mall looked like it housed at least well over a hundred stores, thousands of cars already situated in the parking lot. He can't remember the last time he had been to one, let alone the last time he had actually gone on a shopping trip that didn't end with him leaving empty handed because his parents simply refused to spend a penny on him. 

Jeongguk glued himself to Taehyung’s side, his nerves suddenly overwhelming when he sees just how busy the mall was. Crowds were never really his thing, too many people had always made him anxious and sometimes even left him deep in a panic attack. Taehyung didn't seem to mind the proximity though, even going as far as taking the younger’s hand in his, an action that had Jeongguk’s heart fluttering and his cheeks tinting a pretty pink. 

“Come on, doll! We got a lot of shopping to do.”

They went to various stores, starting out with simple ones like budget stores and assorted goodies stores, before heading into name brands and more expensive clothing stores, holding prices that Jeongguk could only dream of having the money for. 

He protested profusely the first few stores as Taehyung and Jimin grabbed everything his eyes lingered on a second too long, the two only giving him bright grins as they alternated paying each time. He whined and fussed when the price racked up a little too high for his liking, only to be soothed by forehead kisses from Taehyung that instantly had him trying not to (and failing miserably) melt into a heaping puddle on the linoleum floor. 

The entire time the trio were at the mall, Jeongguk could tell that there was something not quite right about the way the other two were acting. Taehyung was uncharacteristically checking his phone every five minutes, and he and Jimin shared too many wordless exchanges that were just out of character for the usually loud and vocal pairing, even though they probably could understand full thoughts and emotions from just simply meeting eyes. 

Jeongguk decided not to press though, not wanting anything to potentially ruin the good mood he was in. 

But then Taehyung’s and Jimin’s phones beeped simultaneously, the two looking at the devices and then at each other, sharing a knowing look. Jeongguk watched the two, trying to hide his confusion. They had been secretive all day, and it was already starting to tug at his anxiety, the thoughts and worries he had earlier in the car resurfacing. 

“My, I am feeling quite worn out! Aren't you getting a bit tired too Jeonggukie? I think it’s the perfect time to head back home!”

Jeongguk nodded in agreement. His feet were in fact getting a little sore from all the walking they had been doing, so he was more than satisfied to call it a day and head back into the comfort of his bed. Plus, he doesn't think he could handle the thought of Taehyung and Jimin spending any more money on him, they had already given him so much and now a whole new wardrobe, Jeongguk definitely wanted to pay them back, all of them back somehow. Soon, he would have to start looking for some employment. 

Honestly, there has to be someplace out there that would take me with the zero experience I have. 

Of course, there’s always that method- his tried and true, what’s kept him from starving these past few years, what’s kept him from sleeping on a cold, hard metal bench most nights, what’s kept him able to stand on his own two feet without falling victim to the harsh streets of Seoul- but he couldn't just exactly go back to being a prostitute without questions arising, could he?

Jeongguk would have figure it out later- he’s just much too tired and a nap curled up in Taehyung’s arms sounded heavenly right about now. 

The drive home was quieter than usual, save for the radio and the quiet humming of Jimin. Jeongguk’s head was resting against the window, trying to fight a losing battle of staying awake. 

Sleep wins the round, so before he knew it he was being shaken awake to see a fond Taehyung looking down at him. 

“Jimin’s already brought the bags in. Come on, doll,” Taehyung says as he tugs at Jeongguk’s hand. The brunette lets himself be dragged out of the car, heavily leaning onto an endeared Taehyung who just coos and lets the teenager cling to him. 

“You’re so sleepy, aren't you, doll? Don’t worry, we’ll get you tucked in soon.” 

Jeongguk just hums in response, too tired to register that he was practically cuddling Taehyung’s arm as they walked. He whines when Taehyung comes to an abrupt stop, hearing a few fond laughs and wait, Taehyung isn’t the only one laughing…

The teenager finally looks up, seeing the rest of the group standing outside Jeongguk’s door, amused and endeared looks on their faces. 

“Um… What’s going on?” Jeongguk’s voice grew small, his body shifting to the side in a measly attempt to hide behind Taehyung. He was suddenly anxious with the several expectant eyes on him, his mind compiling a list of every single scenario that could potentially happen within the next couple seconds. 

None of them were good.  

“We have a surprise for you, little one,” Seokjin smiled, his soft voice and the pet name easing Jeongguk’s nerves while simultaneously making his heart race a mile a minute. 

“A surprise?” The brunette’s curious bambi eyes grew impossibly wider, and he takes Seokjin’s outstretched hand and follows him in the direction towards what he realized was his room.  

“Ah, whatever it is, you guys didn't have to,” Jeongguk let out a weak laugh. He wasn't used to being so… spoiled. So cared about. So loved.

“Nonsense, it’s something we’ve all been wanting to do for a while, lovely.” Jimin takes Jeongguk’s hand in his, smiling sweetly as he twisted the knob and opened the door to reveal what had been going on the entire time Jeongguk was out with Taehyung and Jimin. 

“What?” Jeongguk’s doe eyes grew as wide as they could possibly get, taking in the changed state of his room. The walls were a navy blue color now, decorated with various images of him and the others that they had taken over the past couple of weeks. The guitar that Yoongi gave him for Christmas is now on proud display in the corner right next to the closet, where the wooden doors were replaced with sliding mirror doors. Fairy lights in the shape of miniature ghosts dangled along the trim of the closet, entwined with a string of fake leaves that added the subtle hint of life to the darkly colored room. 

Snugly in the corner a few feet away from his bed, there’s a new black desk and a matching black chair sitting in the gap, books neatly stacked between bookends of golden ceramic lions, the animals standing on their hind legs as they held the mix of paperbacks and hardcovers together. 

Just across the room from the dresser, there’s a standing garment rack with an entirely new wardrobe Jeongguk has never seen before, along with a few shoe boxes, a Doc Martens box catching his eye first amongst the pile. He lets out a soft gasp, immediately drawn to the box as he gingerly lifts the lid, the sight of brand new black combat boots greeting him. 

His vision blurred as tears welled, suddenly overwhelmed with so much happiness that he couldn't help but grin. He lets out a laugh in disbelief, before breaking down into tears, clutching the box so tightly his knuckles turned white. 

Seokjin was by his side in an instant, pulling Jeongguk into a tight hug. He frowns when the cries only increased in volume, running his long fingers through Jeongguk’s hair.

“Why are you crying, little one? Do you not like it? Do you want a different color? We can change the color!”

“No, it’s not like that, I’m, I’m crying because…”

"Because?” Seokjin tugged him closer, a tentative look on his face. 

“Home… I’m actually home, ” he croaks out, the dam of tears breaking again as they fall freely down his cheeks. 

The group falls silent for a moment. Hoseok and Jimin grew teary eyed, while Taehyung and Namjoon shared equally fond looks. Seokjin looked as if he was about to burst into tears any second, and Yoongi?

Yoongi’s the one to wrap up the heartwarming scene, a gentle smile on his face as he looks down at Jeongguk.

“Welcome home, kid.”

--—-

The change in Jeongguk was nearly instantaneous. 

When Seokjin had first brought Jeongguk into their home, the younger wouldn’t even take a step absolutely anywhere without explicit permission. He rarely wandered the house without someone to guide him, the only places he would go on his own being his room, the living room, and the bathroom they had told him to use. 

Even in those spaces, Jeongguk wouldn’t touch anything without consent, would only grab a snack in the kitchen when Seokjin said it was okay (although he would spend several minutes analyzing the borderline overflowing cabinets and fridge before a gentle voice and tender hand made the decision for him), wouldn't use the television unless it was already turned on. 

The first time the others realized just how much the renovation changed Jeongguk, they were thrilled . 

The eldest three and Jimin were in the dining room in the early morning, animatedly chatting amongst themselves as they did their own things- Jimin was eating some fruit and oatmeal, while Hoseok and Yoongi were indulging in their morning coffee with Yoongi reading the daily news on his phone and Hoseok writing some errands in his daily planner. Seokjin was busying himself with making lunches for everyone who would be out of the house that day- which included himself, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon. 

“Morning hyungs!” Jeongguk chirped, everyone immediately turning their attentions to the newcomer to greet him with warm smiles and morning s of their own. 

Seokjin is just about to ask if Jeongguk was hungry before he watched in shock as the younger made his way to the cabinet, grabbing himself a bowl and the cereal that had quickly became his favorite and fixing himself a bowl. The others tried not to make the surprise in their expressions obvious as they watched Jeongguk, who just turned to them with an amused look on his face. 

“What? Want some? Too bad. ‘s all mine, get your own. Box is right there!” He flashes them a cheeky grin, shooting a playful wink in Seokjin’s direction before leaving the kitchen to finish his breakfast in the living room, wanting to watch another episode of a drama he’s been recently obsessed with as he ate. 

Looking at the others, Seokjin lets out a laugh, a mix of disbelief and fondness weaving into the sound. He knew they were all coming to the same conclusion: that this final push was exactly what Jeongguk needed to feel more at home, and now that his real, playful personality was starting to break through his shell of shyness, Seokjin could only hope that more of the wall would break away completely, and they would start to see more of the light that had been hiding in the teenager they had all became obsessed with all along. 

More little happy incidents happened over the course of the week following the renovation of Jeongguk’s room. Usually, the brunette would stand outside one of their opened bedroom doors and wait until the inhabitant noticed him, and would only enter once he heard the come in . They had reassured him time and time again that it was okay for Jeongguk to enter their space and demand attention whenever he wanted, as they were always more than willing to indulge- but still, Jeongguk was ever the timid and hesitant teen they’d met just nearly two months ago. Until now. 

Today, Taehyung was shocked as Jeongguk happily barged into his room, plopping down face-first onto Taehyung’s bed and letting out a grunt that sounded like contentment. The elder had just been reading some random article that caught his interest, not really having much to do when everyone else was out of the house. 

It was Wednesday- Namjoon and Yoongi were in class, Hoseok at dance practice, Seokjin at work, and Jimin was out with one of their mutual friends. Taehyung only had one class that morning, and usually, he would join Jimin and their friend on whatever adventure they planned for the day- but he wasn't gonna lie, he honestly wanted some alone time with Jeongguk. 

“Jeonggukie?” Taehyung coos at the brunette, fingers habitually making their way to thread through the freshly washed strands of brown, still damp from his shower just moments ago. 

“Your bed smells nice,” is all Jeongguk gets out. 

Taehyung just laughs, planting a soft kiss to the younger’s temple.

“Thank you, doll.” It's then that Jeongguk lifts his head up, not realizing just how close Taehyung already was until he’s met face to face with his eyes, momentarily freezing at the proximity between the two. 

He could kiss him right now. Taehyung was right there, his lips were right there, just within Jeongguk’s grasp. If only he could build the courage, if only he could give his heart what it’s been pounding for over the last month, if only…

It’s silent for a moment between the two, air tense and sending a delicious chill down Jeongguk’s spine. He could stay like this for a moment, could look up just a millimeter more and look into the eyes he had grown to adore over the past few weeks. Could finally, finally cross the bridge and grow something more with Taehyung, something he’s been longing for ever since he was a child, yearning for the kind of love he felt hearing his grandmother's stories about his grandfather. 

But then Jeongguk’s snapped back to reality- that Taehyung most likely didn't return his feelings- and he increases the distance between them, missing the microscopic change Taehyung’s face, the elder’s expression falling before quickly returning to its usual fond smile. 

“Did you eat today, buttercup?” 

Taehyung doesn't miss the way Jeongguk grows shy at the petname, and he files that knowledge away in his mental things I adore about Jeongguk folder, letting out a soft tsk when Jeongguk shakes his head. 

“Come, hyung will make you something.” 

Chapter Text

Jeongguk was on a mission: get a job. 

It’s been just over two and a half months since he was welcomed into Seokjin’s home, and a little over two weeks since his anxieties about the group doing a full 180 and kicking him to the curb finally quelled down to manageable levels with the renovation of his bedroom. The teenager figured that it was time to get out, time to finally start pulling his weight now that he was more certain of his place in their home. 

No, not just their home- his home. 

His chest swelled up with pride at that thought, looking around his bedroom. 

His bedroom. His home. 

With a contented hum and a soft kiss to Gureum’s head, Jeongguk makes his way out of his room (and once again, the notion made his heart swelled with happiness), and sought out to find one of his housemates (his housemates !). 

He runs into Namjoon first, and deemed that the lawyer would be the perfect candidate to aid in his mission, knowing he would have the perfect level of knowledge for what he needed to do. 

“Hyung? Are you busy right now?” 

“Not at all, Ggukie! I was just gonna do some light reading in the living room,” Namjoon holds up the book in his hand, and Jeongguk’s eyes nearly bulged at the sheer size of the book. “What’s up?” 

“First of all, light reading? That thing looks like it could give someone a concussion with just a simple tap. Seriously, it’s a weapon, and not of knowledge.”

Namjoon’s expression was a mix of shocked and amused, the elder shaking his head as laughter spilled out of him. Little by little every day, the group were starting to finally see the real Jeongguk that had been hiding under so many layers of trauma and anxiety, and coming to realize that their youngest friend was nothing short of sarcastic, playful, and just downright hilarious.  

“Yah, if I knew you were gonna bully me for my book choices, I would've kept walking,” the elder playfully muses, earning a giggle from Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk shrugs, a cheeky grin plastered on his face. “You signed up for it when you let me live here. Anyway, I was wondering, could you help me look for a job? I just, I feel like it’s time? And maybe I can start helping around the house more, like with groceries! And also just get out more in general?”

Namjoon found it endearingly adorable how Jeongguk went from playful to shy in just seconds, fighting the urge to coo and instead nodding. 

“Of course! Although, and I know the others will agree with me on this, you don't have to chip in right away. I think we would all much prefer you keep your first couple paychecks to yourself before we let you help us out. We don’t mind!” 

Bringing his bottom lip in between his teeth, Jeongguk begins to think. It did seem plausible- he could at least get a head start on working up a sizable enough savings, and then start to split his paycheck between himself and the others. 

Jeongguk looks up at Namjoon again and nods, happy determination on his face. 

“I think I’d like that too.”

Namjoon grins, and he guides Jeongguk to his bedroom that he shared with Seokjin, the elder already away at work. Namjoon motions for Jeongguk to take a seat on his bed whil the lawyer himself sat at his desk, opening his laptop and turning the device on. 

“So firstly, is there anything you don't want to do? Retail, food services, et cetera?” 

“Um, I think I would like to avoid food services. I don't think waitressing is really for me, I’ve heard how people can be,” Jeongguk says with a shudder, Namjoon chuckling as he nodded in agreement. 

“That is true. I worked as a waiter for a few months when I was younger, and I can confidently say that that job was my worst experience yet.” Jeongguk couldn't help but laugh at the grimace on Namjoon’s face, failing to shut himself up when Namjoon shot him a pointed look, only laughing more and effectively drawing a chuckle out of the elder too. 

Once his laptop turned on and he logged in, Namjoon got started on browsing through job positions. 

“So I’m assuming you have no experience, right?” Jeongguk nods. “Right, so we’ll look at the lower level jobs. Maybe a grocery store associate? There’s a few cashier and stocking positions available near our university, that could be extremely convenient for you, since one of us could just drop you off and pick you up before and after classes.”

Jeongguk’s expression brightens, and he nods eagerly. He was perfectly fine with just seeking out his own transportation, but honestly, he quite liked the idea of having one of his hyungs driving him to and from work. 

“Oh! There’s also a few openings in the street that Seokjin hyung works on, that could actually work as well, since most of us frequent that area on our daily routines.” 

Jeongguk made a noise of interest. He loved that street, and if he could get a job there, he could go to the cafe and visit Seokjin during his breaks! And maybe even get his lunch from that lovely little sandwich shop just down the road… Oh, and visit the cat cafe that was nestled in between a secondhand bookshop and an antiques shop! 

Yeah, Jeongguk definitely wanted to work there. 

“I want to apply to these ones, near hyung’s cafe.” Jeongguk states with finality, and Namjoon nods, smiling as he opened up a blank Word document and began typing away. 

“So let’s just get a basic resume going first…” 

The two spend the rest of their late morning like that, with Jeongguk giving Namjoon all the information about himself that he could, and Namjoon filling in the rest of the blanks that Jeongguk couldn't quite answer himself. As the late afternoon came to an end and darkness began to flood the skies, Jeongguk had successfully applied to five different jobs on that street, and a few others just as a backup. 

“I set your contact information to my number for now, but I think it’s about time we get you a phone, yeah? You’ll definitely need one, just so we can all communicate with you when it’s time to pick you up and also in case of something happening and you need to reach one of us.”

Jeongguk hummed in response. As much as he hated the idea of the group spending another ounce of money on him, especially now that he was looking to secure a job and repay them for all their kindness and hospitality, the proposal did sound smart, so he nods, Namjoon already sending a text to the groupchat he and his boyfriends shared about his plan. 

“Perfect. Yoongi says he’ll stop by a store on his way home.” 

When Yoongi gets home with Jeongguk’s brand new phone, Jimin eagerly snatches the device from the elder’s hand, wanting to be the one to teach Jeongguk how to use it. The producer just lets him with a laugh, going to wash up quickly before joining their eldest boyfriend in the kitchen to aid with dinner. 

While they waited for their meal, Jimin taught Jeongguk all about the new device, answering Jeongguk’s questions, showing him all the different features and applications, and even downloading some of the games that Jeongguk had always played on either Jimin’s or Taehyung’s phones. Jimin also made sure to input all of their numbers in the electronic, and by the time dinner was ready, Jeongguk was confident enough in his ability to use his new phone. He had asked Yoongi how much the device was just so he could make a mental note of how much he needed to be able to repay him, but Yoongi just shrugs him off. 

“It’s a gift, hyung’s treat.” Jeongguk wants to protest at first, but the knowing look from the second eldest promptly shuts him up, the brunette slumping down in his chair with a pout on his face. 

“Just think of it as an early birthday gift. A really early birthday gift,” Hoseok giggles, noticing the younger’s petulant expression. Despite the itch under his skin to refuse some more and express his need to pay Yoongi back, he nods, and begins to dig into his dinner, his happy hums filling the otherwise quiet air. 

—--

“I got a job!” Was the first thing Jeongguk blurted out as he promptly ran into the living room, the inhabitants looking up startled. Jeongguk’s about to mutter a sheepish apology when Jimin whoops after a beat of silence, his clapping joined by the others’ cheers and congratulations!  

A week after their little application session, Namjoon had told him the news that one of the stores they had applied to had reached out to him, asking for a quick interview with Jeongguk over the phone. Jeongguk hesitantly agrees, unsure of how a phone interview would work out in his favor, but with Namjoon’s promise to remain by his side the entire time, Jeongguk was able to make it through the call successfully despite his growing anxiety, the interviewer asking when the teenager could start by the end. The two looked at each other with wide smiles after the beep that followed the call ending filled the air, Namjoon wasting no time in pulling Jeongguk into a tight hug. 

“I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you bun, want to go tell the others?” 

Jeongguk absolutely melted at Namjoon’s praise, and he nods eagerly, only a tiny bit reluctant to pull himself out of Namjoon’s warm embrace, but his joy overtook him as he ran into the living room to tell his friends of his news. 

“Congrats, little one! Where is it?” Seokjin beamed, drying his hands that were wet from washing dishes. 

“It’s a little local store, just down the street from where you work hyung! It’s called Kwon Mart ! I’ll be stocking, cleaning, and working the register! And the hours are really flexible, so I can make it work around your schedules!”

“Oh?” A knowing smile grows on the elder’s face, and he wraps a loose arm around the younger’s shoulder. “I know that place, they have the best gimbap, made daily by the owner himself. Well, I do hope you’ll come down and see me on one of your breaks, I’ll make sure to have a nice cup of tea waiting for you.”

“Definitely!” Jeongguk gleamed, snuggling into Seokjin’s side. “We could even spend a few lunch breaks together!” 

“That sounds like a dream, darling. When do you start?”

“Tomorrow!” The brunette grins. “Namjoon hyung’s gonna drop me off and pick me up.”

“Perfect. Let me know how the rest of your schedule is and we can arrange something for the other days, okay?” Jeongguk nods, and he spends the rest of the evening bouncing around the house with excitement, alternating between using his energy to help Seokjin with some house chores, to playing a few rounds of a violently messy video game with Taehyung, to playing a hyperactive game of cat and mouse with Hoseok that had Seokjin yelping when an overly hyper Jeongguk nearly ran straight into a few fragile pieces of decor, and finally ending the day with a movie night, contently tucked in between Taehyung and Namjoon’s larger frames, energy spent and the lull of sleep calling to him halfway through. 

The next morning, Jeongguk wakes up already feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. It’s his first day at his first real job, and Jeongguk wants nothing more than to do well. And logically, he knows that all he has to do is follow his instructions and not step a hair out of line, but still, he couldn’t stop the anxiety attack that was surely thrumming away beneath his skin, ready to show itself in all his glory. 

He goes through the motions of getting ready, hoping that the familiar routine would help ease his nerves in some way. It does a little, the teenager feeling his heart rate slow down as he makes his way to the kitchen for breakfast, but it wasn't enough to guarantee that a full blown attack wouldn't surface at the slightest trigger. 

Hoseok’s the only one in the kitchen at that moment, the dancer nursing his usual cup of creamy coffee while staring distantly out the window. He perks up when he notices Jeongguk’s presence though, smile turning downwards only slightly when he sees the clearly anxious look on the younger’s face. 

“Nervous?” He asked, patting the empty chair next to him. Jeongguk nods as he takes a seat, bringing his hand up to his mouth to chew on the skin beside his nails, a habit he had developed as a child to cope with his anxiety. 

Hoseok tsks and gently wraps his hand around Jeongguk’s, bringing it away from his mouth. 

“It's okay to be nervous. I know you’ll do just fine, and don't worry. It’s only your first day, so don’t be afraid to make small mistakes here and there. They’ll surely understand and help you get on the right track.” 

Jeongguk looks up at Hoseok, being met with a gentle smile and even gentler eyes. Just like that, the brunette feels even more of his nervousness wash away, and he nods, a small smile forming on his face. 

“Thank you, hyung. You always know what to say.” 

The redhead grins, smoothing out a stray strand of hair on Jeongguk’s head. 

“I only tell the truth. Should I make you some breakfast? You shouldn't be going in on an empty stomach. Jin hyung left for work already, but he did make you a lunch before he went.” 

Jeongguk’s heart swelled. He had always enjoyed watching Seokjin making lunch for the others in the mornings- making fun shapes with the sandwiches and fruit, adding in heaps of snacks both salty and sweet and healthy ones as well, and even writing little personalized notes that were sure to make the recipient smile upon opening their meal. Jeongguk had even helped him a few times, and to know that he was now getting his own Seokjin’s specialty lunch? 

Giddiness washed over him, Hoseok picking up on the change in his mood almost immediately. He makes a mental note to tell Seokjin Jeongguk’s reaction later, knowing the elder would be absolutely beaming with joy, and he smiles as he pats the younger’s head, standing up to follow through on his promise of making breakfast. 

Granted, Hoseok wasn't as great of a cook as Seokjin or Yoongi, but he could still make a decent meal in the kitchen. He decides to scramble up some eggs and cook a few sausages, as well as pop some bread in the toaster and cut up an apple. 

And as Jeongguk watches him, he realizes just how domestic the whole scene felt. There’s a familiar sense of a comforting warmth spreading through his body, and he imagines himself doing this every morning- getting ready for work with one of his hyungs by his side, helping with and eating breakfast together and leaving for work in the passenger’s seat of one of their cars, coming home every night with new stories of unique customers and funny experiences to tell at the dinner table, falling asleep safely tucked and snuggled up in someone’s arms, the promise of a brand new and even better day lulling him into dreamland. He could get used to that, Jeongguk wants to get used to that. He’d spent so long yearning so much for domesticality and stability that now that he’s finally starting to get a taste, he doesn't want to let it go. 

He knows he’s grown attached far too quickly for his liking, but as Hoseok sets down a fresh, warm plate of food and an ice cold glass of banana milk in front of him, Jeongguk discovers that he doesn't mind it all that much, that his heart was growing at the right pace, that he was recognizing that he had a place in this home just as much as the others did. 

Before he knew it, his breakfast was gone and his glass was empty and he’s in Namjoon’s car now, his lunchbox secured on his lap. His once settled nerves returned at full force with each passing second, his leg bouncing up and down in an attempt to quell some of the bubbling energy beneath his skin. 

Namjoon notices this and he sets a hand on Jeongguk’s thigh, gently squeezing it in silent reassurance. 

“You’re gonna do just fine, okay? And if things get too much, you can always text or call one of us. We’re all rooting for you, Ggukah.”

Jeongguk inhales a shaky breath and nods, the store coming into view as Namjoon turns onto the street. He turns his hazards on as he puts the car in park, turning to Jeongguk with a small smile on his face. 

“I believe in you. Now get out there and make me proud, yeah? I expect to hear all about your first day at dinner tonight.” 

Jeongguk nods and returns his smile, giving Namjoon a quick hug as best as he could with the low division between them and uttering a quick bye hyung! before he’s out the door and making his way into the little market. 

Kwon Mart wasn’t big by any means- it was a dainty little place, mostly selling products either made by the owner himself or sourced from local businesses and farms. Jeongguk finds that the shop was perfect for him- it would never be too busy, the small size ensuring that only a few people would be in and out at a time. Upon entering, he’s greeted by the ringing of a little bell attached to the door, a head popping out from behind a stack of boxes. 

“Ah, you must be Jeongguk! Right on time! I’m Kwon Hyunwoo, the owner.” Jeongguk grins as he shakes hands with the short old man, the friendly smile on the owner’s face washing away the last of his worries, and he starts his first day feeling much better than he did that morning. 

—--

“And then I learned how to use the register, and I even rung up my first customer today! ‘Your total today is 48,954 won, will that be cash or card?’ ”Jeongguk beamed through a mouthful of food, earning fond laughs from his listeners and an exasperated sigh from Seokjin. 

“I know you're excited about how well your first day went, and I’m so, so proud of you, but please , swallow your food before you speak. I don't want you choking.” 

Jeongguk just giggles, making a show of swallowing his food and opening his mouth to show the elder. “Can I speak now?” He pouts. 

Seokjin groans, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief. “ Aish, what have we unleashed… ” He mutters under his breath. Across the table, Hoseok and Taehyung are trying their hardest not to laugh, instead muffling their giggles with large bites of food. Jimin on the other hand was openly laughing, doubling over Namjoon’s lap as the lawyer indulged in a few giggles of his own. And Yoongi, even with his usually composed nature, lets a fond chuckle slip out. 

Jeongguk grins cheekily, shoving another bite of his dinner in his mouth before speaking again. “And then Hyunwoo-ssi told me he has a son around my age, and that he works there on weekends, and I can even meet him! And when he’s older, he’s gonna pass the store down to him so that it stays in his family! I think that’s pretty cool, having a family business and all that.” 

“I think it’s wonderful that you had such a great first day, doll. Seeing you happy makes me happy.” 

Jeongguk’s cheeks flushed red at Taehyung’s words, his once energetic nature suddenly turning shy. Taehyung just grins, shoving his final bite of food in his mouth before promptly standing. 

“I propose that in honor of a successful first day for Jeongguk, we go out for ice cream!” 

And that’s exactly where the group found themselves an hour later, bundled up at a local ice cream parlor in the heart of the city. Taehyung had treated the whole group despite their protests, saying that because it was his idea, his wallet should be the only one opening tonight. 

They head to a park just down the road, finding an empty picnic table to sit at as they indulged in their cold, tasty treats.

Jeongguk was seated in between Taehyung and Yoongi, the teenager sneakily stealing spoonfuls from Yoongi’s cookies and cream bowl. 

( Well, he truly believed he was being sneaky, but Yoongi actually noticed after the second bite and decided to just let it happen, even subtly inching his bowl closer to Jeongguk as he tried to hide his fond smile.)

They chat and chat, about everything and everything, sharing crazy details about their days and fun stories of their pasts ( everyone had an absolute blast listening to Jeongguk retell the story of how, at 10 years old, he had horrifically terrorized his teachers by chasing them with a live fish in his bare hands on a school trip to the beach, earning him a detention in the end), playing fun little games like who could hold their breath the longest ( which ended up being Jeongguk ), to who could get the highest note in a game of Hello Cleopatra ( spoiler alert: it was Seokjin) , and then switching it around completely to see who could reach the lowest note ( to everyone’s surprise, it was Jimin?).

It wasn't until just after midnight, long after their bowls were empty and the lively nightlife of Seoul simmered down to a calmness, that everyone agreed to call it a night, bellies full and hearts satiated. They made their way back home, all going to their respective rooms- except for Taehyung, who decided to spend the night in Jeongguk’s bed. 

And Jeongguk doesn't complain, not that he could ever refuse the other’s cuddles. When they're washed up and changed into comfortable pajamas, they settle under the covers, Taehyung’s front pressed against Jeongguk’s back, arm loosely wrapped around the younger’s waist. 

They’re tired, but neither one of them wants to answer the call of sleep just yet. The silence surrounding them is comfortable, peaceful. Jeongguk snuggles closer, relishing in the warmth radiating off Taehyung’s body, the heat doing wonders to ward off the chills of the dark winter night. 

“You should sleep, doll. You’ve got an early shift tomorrow.” Taehyung breaks the silence first, fingers finding their way to Jeongguk’s hair. He threads through the locks, Jeongguk letting out a sleepy contented hum. 

“Mmm… G’night ‘ung,” he yawns out, eyes growing heavy at the ministrations. Taehyung smiles fondly, planting a tender kiss to Jeongguk’s forehead. Within seconds, Jeongguk was out like a light, Taehyung watching as the teenager's breathing evened out and his body fell limp in Taehyung’s hold. 

“Night buttercup,” he murmurs, “ I love you.”

Chapter Text

Jeongguk jolts awake when the shrill sounds of his phone alarm rings through the air, groaning silently as he pats around for the cool device. He finds it in seconds, stopping the alarm before plopping back down with a sigh. 

“ Fuck me ,” the brunette half-mutters, half-yawns out, stretching and rubbing his eyes as he tried to hang up the call with sleep, almost failing to do so when his eyes slipped closed again and he dozes off for another few minutes. 

The sound of plates clinking and muted chatter wakes him up again though, and he grunts, forcing himself out of bed before he could even fall back asleep under the warm comforter- a habit that was starting to become a daily struggle.

See, Jeongguk absolutely adored his job at Kwon Mart - the store was never too busy at once, the small size made it easier to keep clean and stock, and the register was surprisingly quite easy to manage after a few tries with Hyunwoo by his side. But despite that, he still struggled to find the motivation to get out of bed in the early, chilly mornings, even with it already being two weeks of working there. He was still trying to build a proper habit of sleeping and waking up at reasonable times after so long of just going with the flow when it came to his sleep schedule. 

It was currently seven, the beaming, warm sun fully uncovered from the depths of the night as it made its way up through the sky, shining rays bustling through gaps of closed curtains and open windows. The brunette had gone to bed around three- courtesy of an anxiety attack that lasted hours , triggered by his own mind by a flurry of thoughts. 

Who am I, really? 

What is my purpose in life? In this house? In this family?

Does everyone here really care about me or are they still pitying the broken boy they met three months ago?

Am I actually important to anyone? Or am I just a charity case?

Was my father right when he said I’m nothing but a waste of space?

The thoughts were just as painful as they were the night before- the only difference being that now, Jeongguk had a little rest in his system, just enough to keep his sanity tied down and not fall victim to yet another sleep-deprived anxiety attack. 

Even so, he still felt the jagged lump in his throat, a phantom blockage making itself known each time the muscle contracted as he swallowed. Jeongguk reluctantly accepted that it was just going to be one of those days.

The brunette was sleepy still, socked feet dragging as he made his way to the kitchen. The chatter grew louder as the space between him and his destination grew smaller, and when he blinked again, he was in the kitchen, clinging himself to the back of the first warm body he could find- Namjoon. 

“Oh? Morning, sleepyhead,” Namjoon chuckled fondly, his hand coming down to pat the younger’s arm. Jeongguk hums in response, the simple touch doing wonders to quieten the voices in his head. He had an overwhelming urge to call out of work, to just stay and indulge in cuddles with whoever was free- but he had a responsibility, a commitment, and he intended to follow through with it. 

With a soft sigh, he pulls away from Namjoon, earning a look of tender concern from the lawyer. Namjoon doesn't voice his worries though, instead just going over to the table and taking his usual seat next to Hoseok, who was already halfway done with his breakfast. 

Jeongguk takes a seat next to Jimin, finding himself wanting the comforting presence of the psychologist next to him. Jimin smiles charmingly,  a warmth flooding through Jeongguk as he looked up to meet tender eyes, a gaze so loving that it actually manages to quell some of the anxiety still bubbling in his chest. 

“You want something to drink, lovely?” The elder asks. 

“Ah, banana milk, thank you,” he rasps, suddenly realizing just how parched he actually was. He supposed it made sense, with how much he had practically cried his throat raw hours before. 

“No coffee? How do you live?” Yoongi huffs, sounding more amazed than mean. Jeongguk just shrugs, resting his head on the musician’s shoulder. 

“Caffeine gives me anxiety. And I don't like the taste.”

“Sucks to be you.”

“Hyung!” Jimin chuckles, placing Jeongguk’s glass in front of him before settling in his chair with his own mug, a hot latte. “Drink your coffee before you speak.”

“I’m just saying! I couldn't live without coffee. I feel like pre-coffee me would be a prime poster boy for psych ward patients.”

“You would be right about that,” Hoseok mutters behind his mug, trying his hardest not to laugh at the glare Yoongi was sending him as he takes a sip of his own coffee. 

“Remember that one morning hyung didn't have his coffee and he and Taehyung got into a whole argument that literally blew up and ended in them not talking to each other for two weeks all because he thought Taehyung drank all his coffee?” Namjoon giggles, and Yoongi just groans, slinking down into his chair. 

“Yes! He thought Tae was being petty just because he wouldn't let him go to that one club!” Hoseok added. 

“And we were all so confused because Taehyung doesn’t even drink coffee!” Jimin laughs, “and it turns out hyung just brought the whole bag to his studio and forgot he left it there!”

“Yah, I thought we agreed to never talk about it again,” Yoongi grumbles, trying to hide his blushing cheeks. 

Jeongguk zoned out for the rest of the morning conversation, idly picking at the food on his plate. His appetite was practically non-existent, but the brunette figured he should at least get some energy in his system so that he could make it through his shift later. The teenager manages a few bites before the creeping nausea eventually won over, and so he limply sets his fork aside, trying to figure out the least suspicious way to excuse himself. 

Hoseok was the first to notice Jeongguk’s conflicted demeanor, tilting his head so that he could meet the younger’s downturned eyes. 

“Ggukie? You alright, sweets?” Hoseok frowned. This caught the attention of everyone at the table, and suddenly Jeongguk felt as if a bright spotlight was just directed at him, complete darkness surrounding him. His nausea reached new heights, stomach now churning with a blaring warning sign flashing throughout his body. 

If he didn't get out now, breakfast wouldn't be the only thing on the table. 

“Ah, I’m alright,” he stutters out, “must just be tired still. I’m gonna head up to my room, get ready for work.” 

The teenager abruptly stands, startling Hoseok. He mutters a quick apology before rushing off, heading straight to the bathroom and making it to the porcelain bowl just in the nick of time. 

Afterwards, Jeongguk quickly freshens up and gets into his clothes for the day, a simple black hoodie (that he totally did not steal from Jimin) and loose black jeans, a fit that was simply more for comfort rather than aesthetics. 

As the brunette reaches for his boots, he takes a look in the mirror, frowning when he takes in his appearance. The bags under his eyes were puffed and prominent, most likely a result of his tear-filled night. His eyes looked drained, their bright brown color now teetering on a dull hazel, a hint of grey peeking through. Jeongguk never quite understood how his grandmother used to always be able to tell Jeongguk’s emotions simply by looking in his eyes, but now, the quote eyes are the windows to the soul made so much more sense. 

Jeongguk lets out a heavy sigh, nodding at himself in the mirror. 

You got this. It’s just another one of these days, but you can make it to the end. You always do. 

After his little self pep talk, Jeongguk grabs the rest of his things and heads out. 

It was Taehyung’s turn to drop Jeongguk off at work. The two rode in a comfortable silence, Jeongguk relishing in the warmth of Taehyung’s hand wrapped around his. It was a grounding touch, 

“Have a good day at work, doll,” Taehyung smiled. The teenager could only return a half smile, words caught in his throat as he avoided the elder’s eyes and got out of the car. 

Taehyung frowned, eyes never leaving Jeongguk until he left his sight. He had noticed something was off with the younger earlier at breakfast, and it was even more apparent now. Hopefully, Jeongguk would either be in a better mood when he returned or at least willing to open up and talk to him, or even just someone. 

Hope today treats him alright, he thinks to himself before driving off. 

—-

“Hey kid, what are you doing out so late?” 

Jeongguk flinched at the voice, the man appearing out of thin air. He had been staring at the ground for probably hours now, unmoving at the bus station that had long stopped running, since it was just past midnight. 

Right in front of him was a tall man, probably mid-thirties, and definitely well off in wealth, if the expensive looking long coat and even more expensive looking watch were anything to go by. 

“I… don’t know,” Jeongguk admits quietly. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. 

Just days ago, Jeongguk had been kicked to the curb, shunned by his father and eventually his mother and brother. His father has had enough of his ‘antics’ - really what he was just calling Jeongguk’s sexuality - and told Jeongguk that he could come back when he ‘stopped indulging in these ridiculous fantasies’. Jeongguk had been allowed to take a backpack of items, and he chose his stuffed dog, Gureum, and a few clothing items. He also pocketed the small amount of money he had been saving up, intending to spend it on a nice guitar, a real one he could play instead of the kids’ version he had been gifted a few years back. Now that money would go to holding him over until he could be settled. 

“It’s awfully late for someone like you to be out here alone. How old are you? Where’s your parents?” 

Jeongguk’s about to say fifteen, the number on the tip of his tongue, but he quickly stops himself. 

“Nineteen. And my parents disowned me long ago.” 

The stranger raised a questioning brow at him. “You look younger than nineteen.”

“I get that a lot. Youthful genes run in my family, my mother never looked a day over thirty,” he lies smoothly. He wanted to play it safe, the last thing he wanted was for anyone to come along and take advantage of him just because he was an innocent little kid out on the street. 

He honestly just wanted the stranger to leave, to let Jeongguk be alone so he could drown in the misery of his thoughts, subject himself to the relentless torture that his mind was generously supplying him with.  

“Well, you still haven't said why you’re out here so late? You know the buses here don't run after ten and before five, right?”

Jeongguk nods. He knew, which was why he picked this place to rest for the night. The less people around to witness a battered and bruised teenager have a full on mental breakdown in an empty bus stop at midnight, the better. 

“I was going to rest up here. Nobody’s around at this time, perfect for some shut-eye,” he answers, partially truthful. The stranger looks a little shocked.

“It’s the middle of winter, you’ll catch a cold like that,” he says, and Jeongguk almost wants to cry at the tenderness of the man’s voice. It had been so long since anyone’s spoken to him like that, his parents’ tone turning unforgiving long before Jeongguk’s final day in that house. 

“I have nowhere else to go, sir,” Jeongguk looks down at his hands, fingers fiddling with a loose thread on his jacket. 

“Nowhere? Not even a family member or a friend?” 

Jeongguk felt his heart sink lower and lower. He knew he was alone, but fuck, hearing someone else, a complete stranger, just confirm the he had nobody- it started to sink in.

“No one, sir,” his voice was a whisper now.  

“Say, why don’t you stay with me for the night?” 

Jeongguk looks up at the stranger, hesitation clear in his eyes. He didn't expect the man to be some cold-blooded killer, but, a stranger offering their place to stay for the night to a fifteen year old boy sitting alone at a bus station at two in the morning? Not exactly something you would see in a Disney movie. 

Still, Jeongguk concluded that even though a warm meal and a cozy bed couldn't exactly take away all his pain and his trauma, it wouldn't hurt to at least indulge in them for the night. 

“Thank you sir,” he stuttered out, bowing lowly. “I would like to take you up on that offer.” 

“Ah, well… Come on. My car’s just down there.” 

Along the way to the man’s place, Jeongguk learns that his name is Hyunchan, and at thirty-nine, he is the CEO of a advertising agency, which explained why he looked so wealthy and well off. 

Hyunchan orders takeout for the both of them, granting Jeongguk permission to roam his space as he heads up to his room to change out of his formal attire. 

Jeongguk looked around the luxurious home in awe. It was definitely what one would expect from somebody with a lot of money- very clean, very modern, very white. Seriously, the walls were so bright that Jeongguk felt as if he needed sunglasses just to even take another step. 

“Nice, right?” Hyunchan’s voice startles Jeongguk, the teenager looking up at the man with wide eyes.  “Moved here just about a year ago. I had a divorce, needed a change of scenery.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, sir,” the brunette stutters out. Hyunchan simply waves him off, chuckling. 

“It was for the best. She was an asshole.” 

“Ah…” He trails off, unsure of how to respond. 

Fortunately, he’s saved by the bell, quite literally, the ringing reverberating through the minimalistically furnitured space, alerting the two of their dinner’s arrival. 

The two ate their meal in relative silence, neither of them sparing a glance at each other. When Jeongguk finally sneaks a look over at Hyunchan, he notices the elder looks deep in thought, his eyes distant as he mindlessly chews on his chicken. 

“Are you… Alright?" Jeongguk asks timidly.

Hyunchan just laughs, shaking his head. 

“I feel like I should be the one asking you that. I’m fine, just…” He trails off, and then shrugs, shoving the last bite of his chicken in his mouth. 

Jeongguk hums in understanding, and the two fall into silence again. It’s more comfortable this time, only broken by a soft rattling as Hyunchan took out a small bottle of pills, taking two and downing them dry. 

Jeongguk watches in curiosity, wondering if Hyunchan had a headache, or was in some kind of pain. But he keeps his mouth shut this time and continues to eat. 

Hyunchan breaks the silence this time. 

“Say Jeonggukah, you ever done drugs?

“Drugs? Like… marijuana?”

“Hmm,  not quite.” He motions down to the opened bottle, shaking it softly as if to send a hint to Jeongguk, whose eyes only widened once the realization hit him. 

“Ah, no, I’ve never really… Done anything.”

“You want to try? ‘S nice. Makes you forget about things you don't want to remember. Like a relationship.”

Curious, Jeongguk peered into the bottle. ‘Forget things you don't want to remember?’ Hell, there were a lot of things Jeongguk didn't want to remember. 

“Yeah… I’ll try one. Just one night couldn't hurt.”

But one night turned into days, which turned into weeks, and before Jeongguk could even blink, he had been staying at Hyunchan’s place for three months now. A single pill to help him sleep at night morphed into several a day, Jeongguk long succumbing to a budding addiction before the first dosage even left his system. 

It was nice, his mind actually being calm for once in his entire life. All he really thought about anymore was food, and when the next episode of his new favorite television show would air. Oh, and sex. Since the night he let Hyunchan take his virginity, he had grown obsessed- obsessed with the intimacy, obsessed with being taken care of, obsessed with the headspace he had always oh so easily slipped into the second the older man administered even an ounce of dominance over him. The drugs and the sex had grown to be his therapy, his coping mechanism for when his mind took a glimpse into his past, for when his thoughts became too much to bear and the urge to silence them permanently grew too strong to fight. 

And Hyunchan was always there, gentle reassurance and tender care whenever Jeongguk fell too deep, whenever he got lost wandering in the expansive maze of his mind. 

He was obsessed with Hyunchan-

-until he wasn't. 

“What do you mean you don't have any more? I thought you got a new supply from Junghoon-ssi!” 

“I did! Jesus fuck Jeongguk, are you too high to even realized that you took them all?” 

“What?” Jeongguk splutters out. “No I didn't! I only took like three or four a day, I swear!”

“More like three or four a fucking hour! God, you’re worse than I am!”

“Well, can't you get more? Come on, I need-”

“You fucking need it, I know, you’ve said that twenty thousand fucking times already,” Hyunchan grumbled, clearly frustrated beyond belief but yet Jeongguk pays no mind to his emotions, desperately clutching onto the elder's arm. 

“No hyung, you don't get it, please, I need-”

Slap. 

“Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear another word out of your stupid, greedy mouth, okay?” 

Jeongguk clutched his stinging cheek, looking up at the elder with wide eyes. 

Hyunchan had just hit him. Hyunchan, who had selflessly taken him in. Hyunchan, who had fed him three meals a day and cuddled him while he cried at night. Hyunchan, who had given Jeongguk everything he wanted these past three months without complaint. Hyunchan, who had become Jeongguk’s safety blanket from the harsh, unforgiving realities of the real world. 

Hyunchan, who was slowly turning into a monster right before his very eyes. 

Just like his father had. 

He couldn't stay. He couldn't let himself fall victim to even more abuse when it was what he had been running from all these weeks. 

Jeongguk couldn't let himself get hurt again. 

And so he resorted to the only solution he knew how to do. 

He runs away. 

In his withdrawal-hazed state, while Hyunchan was fast asleep, Jeongguk blearily packs as many things as he could fit into his backpack, trying his best to muffle the sobs that he couldn't hold in no matter how hard he tried. 

And he runs. He runs from his safe haven, from his happiness, from his love . 

He runs far, and doesn’t look back. 

Jeongguk gulps at the man standing before him, basket of items waiting to be checked out frozen in his hand. 

“Hyunchan-ssi.” 

“Jeonggukah. Been a while, hasn't it?” The knowing smile on the man’s face sends a chill down his spine, a shiver racking his body that he only prayed the other didn’t see. “I see you’ve found yourself a little job. You look well, have you found a place to live?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk stutters out, slow, trembling hands reaching in the basket to grab the first of the items to scan. Despite the urge to run and hide overwhelming him, Jeongguk shoves his anxiety down, trying to focus on doing his job. Just another customer, he’s just another customer, he repeats to himself. 

“I must say, I was quite shocked when I woke up that morning and you were just… gone. I still think about you from time to time, wondering if you're doing good.”

Any other day. It could've, should've been any other day. Any day when Jeongguk wasn't already struggling to get through the eight-hour shift with the weight of the world pressing down on his chest with every breath he took. When he wasn't already dealing with the ruthless voices swirling around his mind, tormenting his soul to no end. When his hands weren't shaking with every erratic beat of his heart, his palms sweaty and clammy. Any other day, and Jeongguk would've been able to make it through the maze of his harrowing mind, to mark another successful round as completed. 

But it wasn't any other day. 

“I’m doing great, thank you.”

A truth and a lie. He was blossoming, thriving under the care of his newfound family- but just like today, he still had his weaknesses, his destructive habits. 

“I never got a chance to tell you this, and I was going to that morning you left. I’m sorry for how I treated you towards the end there. It was wrong of me to do that to you, especially with what I called you and the way I put my hands on you.” Jeongguk freezes. The skin on his cheek tingles, almost as if his mind was taunting him, reminding him of the years he had spent being desperate, spent being oblivious, spent being the exact person he had promised himself he would never become. 

He wants to yell. He wants to scream at Hyunchan, to say that he was and was becoming a monster, that if Jeongguk had stayed a second longer, it would've only gotten worse from there. But when he finally looks up at the older, he saw nothing but guilt. Remorse. And Jeongguk knew his own face was betraying him, mirroring these emotions as well, if the softening gaze of Hyunchan was any indication. 

He was young. He was stupid. He knew that it was wrong, especially since he was fifteen- a child . Just the thought of how old he truly was and how he had lied to Hyunchan about it made his stomach churn, nausea filling his senses from head to toe. 

Because despite everything, despite the drugs and how they ended- Hyunchan really was a good guy. He took care of Jeongguk in ways no one else had ever done his entire life, not even his grandmother. He took Jeongguk in when he had nothing left but the clothes on his back and enough money to last on cup ramen for two weeks. He saved Jeongguk during one of the lowest points of his life. 

And all Jeongguk did was take advantage of his kindness. Of his attraction. 

Would everything have been different if he had told the truth? Would Hyunchan have let things happen the way they did if Jeongguk hadn't said he was nineteen? 

Would he even be standing here right now if Hyunchan hadn't taken him in?

“It’s okay, Hyunchan-ssi. We were, erm, we were both,” he trails off, the lump in his throat coming back, “we were both not thinking very clearly.” We were high on fucking drugs, he wants to say, but he found it too painful. 

“Yeah, we really weren't,” Hyunchan chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes never leaving the screen of the register as Jeongguk continued to slowly scan his purchases. “Well, I got clean. I’m um, a year and a half sober now.” 

Bile lurches to the back of Jeongguk’s throat. He closes his eyes, gulping slowly. Clean. Sober. Words associated with addiction. Addiction, a word Jeongguk never wanted to hear, to acknowledge. 

Because he had an addiction too. Even three years later, he found it hard to admit he was a drug addict. Because admitting that meant that he truly was just like his father, falling victim to a substance that they abused to null their true emotions, to transform into someone else just to pretend . But his sad reality was, he still had an addiction- just not to drugs. 

He was addicted to pain. To staying up well into the late hours of the night and listening to the voices in his head. To destroying anything good that had came his way because he was tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the universe to say never mind and throw him the most maleficent curveballs. 

“That’s… Great. I um, I’m also… Clean,” His words were choppy, unsure, because he was clean. From drugs, the heavy topic of their even heavier conversation. 

But he wasn't clean.  

He was dirty. Tainted. Broken. 

“Great! I’m really glad, truly. How long?”

“Since… Since I left you.”

“Oh… Well then, I guess it truly was for the best, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk stuttered out. “Um, your total today is 75,900 won. Will that be cash or card?”

“Oh um, card,” the elder fumbles to pull out his wallet, rummaging through it before grabbing his card. 

Jeongguk hardly looks up as Hyunchan taps his card onto the machine, hands moving on autopilot as he taps on the screen and hands Hyunchan his receipt. 

“Thank you for shopping at Kwon Mart, have a good day.” 

“You too, Jeongguk-ah. It was nice seeing you again. I wish you the best.”

The second the door closed behind Hyunchan, Jeongguk finally allowed himself to breathe, shakily inhaling as he desperately tried to calm himself down. His heart is going a mile a minute, his hands trembling as he wrung them together in an attempt to self-soothe. 

You’re okay. You’re safe. You’re not that person anymore. He’s in the past.

He repeats these words in his head like a mantra, a trick Jimin had taught him one day after helping him through a panic attack. 

“If you ever feel a panic attack coming on, a really good mechanism to try is to talk to yourself like you’re trying to help someone else. It’s a great thing to do especially when you’re alone and can’t get the support you need.”

He takes a deep breath, repeating more and more reassurance to himself. It’s working, just barely- he feels his heart rate slow down and his breathing growing easier. 

Jeongguk checks the time, noticing that it was in fact time for his break. He nearly cries in relief, wanting nothing more than to just lay down and disconnect from the outside world for a few minutes. He finds his boss, the man in the back of the store restocking a few shelves. 

“Hyunwoo-ssi, may I take my break now? I just need to lay down for a moment, I’m not feeling the best.” 

Hyunwoo immediately expresses concern, walking over to Jeongguk, his eyes scanning the teenager. 

“Of course! Is everything okay? Tell you what, why don't you head to my office? I’ve got a couch in there, you can lay down. And should you need any medication, there are a few different bottles in the top left drawer of my desk, please help yourself. And take as long as you need, I’ll let you know if I need your help.” 

Jeongguk nods, giving Hyunwoo a grateful smile. 

“Thank you Hyunwoo-ssi,” he bows his head, “I’ll try not to take too long.” 

With a responding nod from his boss, Jeongguk makes his way to the office. The couch was comfortable, and just long enough for Jeongguk to lay down fully. He decides to turn the lights off, preferring the darkness over the harsh fluorescent lights, and sets a timer on his phone for twenty minutes, the length of his break. The second his body hit the cushions, he feels the tension he had been holding on to slowly ooze out of his shoulders, relaxing more and more each second. 

I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m not that person anymore.

I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m not that person anymore.

I’m okay… And I’m safe. 

And just like that, Jeongguk was out like a light, the turmoil of the past hour wearing down on him. 

I’m not that person anymore.