Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This was all because of the Materia.  Tifa was certain of it now.  Perhaps it was the odd glow in Cloud’s eyes that was hardly noticeable from a distance.  Maybe his tensed up muscles had brought the realization to her mind.  The empty spot in the case was more than enough to confirm her suspicions, but Tifa hadn’t wanted to assume the worst.  She had wanted to pass it off as a strange new virus or something he’d picked up from driving Fenrir in the cold. 

“Cloud doesn’t get sick,” she firmly voiced her thoughts aloud, her arms folding across at her chest.  “Not like this.”  She was standing in their bedroom, just a few feet away from where Cloud was resting.  His eyes were half-lidded, not really looking anywhere in particular, and his mouth hung open just enough for Tifa to hear his awfully strained breathing.

Tifa’s two guests who had mainly remained quiet since entering the room behind her, shifted their feet awkwardly.  “Well,” Yuffie managed slowly, almost feeling awful about the point she needed to make, “there was the Geostigma, right?”

“That was different,” Tifa shook her head, still confident in her answers.  Her eyes remained glued to Cloud, watching the shaky rise and fall of his chest.  “The stigma didn’t have anything to do with Cloud’s immune system.  It was – nevermind.”  She waved it off, not wanting to go there right now. 

Vincent cleared his throat.  “If the cause was some kind of Materia, like you suggest, then I’m not sure how anyone can help him.”

“Someone’s got to know about the type Cloud touched, right?” Yuffie suggested, only sounding half as hopeful as she wanted.

“Someone out there has mastered it, no doubt,” Vincent nodded.  “But the chances of finding them are slim.  It could have very well been an orb of Materia formed together very long ago, maybe even a century before Cloud was born.  If this Materia is as rare as you say, Tifa-“

“Then there may not be anyone on the planet who knows how to help him, I know,” Tifa sighed, her eyes now feeling tired.  “I was hoping that the effects would just wear off with time, but…”

“We’ve seen some exceptions before,” Yuffie pointed out, shrugging her shoulders.  “Frog Materia come to mind, anyone?”

“You said that the Materia was held in a package Cloud took on one of his deliveries, correct?” Vincent asked.

“Yes,” Tifa nodded.

“Finding Cloud’s client may be the best idea you have.  If they were intending to send it by mail, they either knew too well or not at all what they were in possession of.”

“Wanna say that again, raincoat?” Yuffie teased with a dry tone, rolling her eyes. 

“I mean,” Vincent emphasized, “that if they did know what it was, then they sent it by mail because no one would expect it.  Perhaps this client has sins of his own that he wished to pass on to someone else.”

“Really?” Yuffie groaned.  “With the ‘sin’ thing?  Again?”

Vincent appeared confused.  “I apologize.  It seems my own past is influencing my vision of someone else’s present.”

“Or you just need to lighten up a little.”  Yuffie walked over to be a bit closer to Vincent, playfully elbowing him in the ribs.  When he flinched back, she stepped closer again.  “C’mon, I bet one of Tifa’s popular drinks could get you feeling all good inside again.  Huh?”

Tifa seemed to be in her own world, and had been there for longer than Yuffie realized.  The woman shook her head suddenly, snapped out of her distant thoughts, and turned to Vincent.  Still, she kept watch of Cloud out of the corner of her eye.  “I can get the information on Cloud’s client out of his records book.  Should be in the office.”

“That easy, huh?” Yuffie snorted.  “Why didn’t you try this before?”

“Because it wasn’t until now that I was positive this was caused by Materia,” Tifa explained simply.  “And…I don’t know if I’m supposed to use that information.  I think Cloud’s technically supposed to clear the records after each delivery, unless it’s a regular.”

“The way I see it, they put Cloud at risk with their dangerous Materia, so going after them for answers is justified.”  Yuffie grinned.

“You make it sound so simple, Yuffie…”

“I…actually agree with Yuffie,” Vincent spoke up at last, taking yet another step away from the crazy ninja girl.  Perhaps he was worried she’d hug him or something, Tifa mused.  “Their carelessness has made a normally very healthy man now bedridden.  He’s not out on the job, not like this.  This is not just affecting his health, but his income as well.”

Tifa nodded gently.  Fortunately, money made while working the bar would be enough to hold the family on their feet for a while if Cloud’s condition took longer to improve.  If Cloud’s fate had been passed to someone else instead – someone who wasn’t part of a living situation with the man and woman of the house both working serious jobs – it would have been far worse.  That poor person wouldn’t be able to help themselves.

That poor person also wouldn’t have stubborn, unmovable Tifa Lockhart prepping herself with one mission in mind: finding the person responsible and setting things right.  In many ways, Cloud and Tifa were both very fortunate.  Separate and alone, not so much.  But together, they’d always be strong enough to pick each other up.  To fight when the other could not.

On most days, that thought made Tifa feel warm and fuzzy inside, but today it only further fueled her determination and heightened her alarm.  It wasn’t uncommon for her to worry about him, not with all the late night deliveries.  Not with how hard it was sometimes for anyone but her to get through to him on a personal level about issues and worries that he hid away far too well.  This time, however, her worry was pushing her forward, encouraging her to take the next step and possibly break a few rules by going through Cloud’s records.

A former “eco-terrorist” like herself had done far worse with far more flare.

Cloud was seated on a bench in Midgar.  Cool air tickled his bare arms but it was still enough to keep his spiky hair stagnant.  This kind of stillness was unlike that of most other places Cloud had been.  In fact, it was quite unlike Midgar itself.  Memory attested to the fact that so much of Cloud’s problems had started in this city.

Cloud’s eyes opened, and his vision was treated to the sight of shiny gray metal shooting upwards into a tall tower.  Massive Mako reactors with green plumes of energy spewing out could be seen in the far distance.  All Cloud could smell were dense, contained scents of dust, cigarette butts, and a small hint of Mako. 

Midgar was still as beautifully terrible as always.  Then again…wasn’t it supposed to look far worse?

Cloud quickly disregarded the thought as he stood to his feet, nodding his head towards his partner who stood waiting for him at the corner of the street.  The blonde reached back for the hilt of his Fusion Sword out of habit, just to reassure himself that it was still there, as his eyes fell on the familiar Buster Sword his partner was brandishing.

“Finally up, Sleeping Beauty?” Zack teased him like he always did, his hands resting on his hips as he looked Cloud over.  “I was almost about to go in and do the job on my own.”

“Yeah, yeah, get off my back,” Cloud put his hands up in surrender.  “My feet are getting calloused by walking around in these boots.”  The ex-SOLDIER cast an unpleased look down at his footwear.  The soles were nearly digging into the balls of his feet now.

“Its part of the uniform, Cloud,” Zack shrugged, turning to look down the street.  “I’m sure you can swap ‘em out for something new later if you’re gonna be a crybaby about it.”

Cloud looked over his uniform.  SOLDIER.  Sleeveless top, somewhat baggy pants, a metal pauldron on one shoulder and a belt keeping the shirt tucked in tightly.  SOLDIER.  SOLDIER.

Everything seemed to be in order, right?

“Try to keep up,” Zack suddenly said, breaking off into a sprint, his sword gently bouncing around behind him.  Cloud did as he was told, managing to keep step with Zack but never outrunning him or coming up alongside him.  Zack was always the faster of the two, but why did that seem so unfamiliar to Cloud?  He nearly expected to blast past the other man within seconds, but now he was fighting to keep up pace a few feet behind.

As they approached the warehouse, Zack vaulted forward, his gloved hands gripping the edge of a garbage container to hoist himself up and through a window.  The loud sound most definitely alerted whoever was inside, and Cloud could just briefly notice a few tiny shards of glass land on Zack’s bare arm and leave streaks of fresh blood running down.

Zack was known for being impulsive at times, but at other times, it was a bit concerning.

Cloud followed right behind, grateful for the hole Zack had already made, and he spotted Zack squaring off against a few men with his weapon in hand.  Cloud pulled out his own, pulling it over his shoulder and in front of his face, deflecting a few bullets directed his way.  Feeling the familiar tempo resurging, Cloud rushed forward, strafing left and right by skipping to one side and then pushing off with one foot to the other with his sword continuing to shield his body.  He was coming forward far quicker than the enemy expected, and Cloud swiftly sliced one of their guns in half, leaving the hooded goon trembling before Cloud knocked him down.  His knee came down to pressure the man’s chest against the floor, and Cloud raised his sword above his head-

“Don’t kill!” Zack called, pulling Cloud out of his central focus.  “Remember the job!”

Oh.  So that was one of the details of the job?  Cloud wondered why he didn’t remember hearing that from the client.  He really didn’t remember the client either, but there were more goons shooting at him before he could think much of it.  Cloud ran at the wall, kicking his weight off of it to throw off their aims.  Before they could aim down sights, an extra blade was pulled out of Cloud’s Fusion Sword and he brought the two weapons down in an X shape, slashing through the barrels of three different guns at once.  It wasn’t always easy to avoid cutting off a few fingers, but if it was what the job required, Cloud would give that much attention to his technique.

One goon yelled out loudly as he charged Cloud, holding a metal stick in his hand, so the ex-SOLDIER simply readjusted himself and brought out one foot, kicking the attacker square in the chest and sending him flying into a shelf.  Another fighter came in to attack with the remaining pieces of his gun, but Cloud caught his right arm and threw him up into the air, vaulting the body into the wall.

Zack took care of the last man standing, knocking him out with the head of another who’d already gone unconscious. 

“Nice going, partner,” Zack grinned as he patted Cloud on the back.  His Buster Sword was already placed on his back again, but Cloud found himself still unsure so he tightened his grip on the two hilts. 

“So, what are we here for, anyway?” Cloud questioned, looking around the warehouse.

“You don’t remember?  I know beating up a bunch of guys is the fun part, but usually you’re the one keeping us both on track,” Zack chuckled.  “We’re taking that one.”  He pointed down to one body on the floor, one which was dressed a bit more elegantly than the rest.  “He’s apparently one of the major crime lords down here in this sector.  Or at least, he used to be.”  Zack shook his head as he looked around.  “He can barely afford to have just a dozen guys working for him now.”

“So we’re sure he doesn’t have more men elsewhere in the sector?”

Zack raised an eyebrow.  “You did pay attention to the briefing…right?  Cloud, we were told from the start that this was an isolated target.  Maybe I should have let you have that beauty sleep after all, eh?”

“No,” Cloud shook his head.  He began stepping away, leaving Zack’s hand to slip off of his pauldron.  “I guess I just forgot the details in the heat of the moment.”

“Doesn’t seem like you,” Zack noticed.  “Oh well.  We should head back to Sector 5, meet up with my girl.  I hear she’s got something special for the both of us.”  He began walking over to hoist the unconscious crime boss over his shoulder, and Cloud froze in confusion.

“…your girl?”

“Yeah,” Zack snorted.  “You think we were gonna spend the rest of the day looking for small jobs again?  I know you find enjoyment in reading through hundreds of papers for some reason, but I have my limits.  We’ll just take the next big job that comes our way.”

“I guess so,” Cloud nodded.  Mercs.  They were mercs.  Why was this surprising?  “Your girl?” he asked again, not quite sure why he was.  Something didn’t seem right now.

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Zack laughed.  “You must really be in need of some rest, huh?  Let’s head back to her quick, and I’m sure she’ll let you borrow a floorboard in the church if you’re so desperate.”

Church.  The church.  Cloud could picture the interior so clearly, the rotting wood, the sunlight coming through the holes in the roof to cast warmth on a bed of flowers.  He remembered a pool of water, too.  A bunch of kids, all surrounding him with happy smiles.  One in particular wrapping their arms around him in a hug, messy brown hair brushing against Cloud’s black clothes.  Cloud recalled looking up, seeing a crowd of people standing around as an audience, seeming just as glad.  Dark carmine eyes had captured his own, refusing to let him go as a pair of lips curled into a sweet, loving smile. 

“Church,” Cloud voiced out loud, feeling lost.

“Yeah, dummy, the church,” Zack rolled his eyes.  “You just gonna keep repeating everything I say now?  I’m gonna go see Aerith with or without you, but I’d rather you not go out there alone.  Call it a hunch, but that big ‘ol sword might make people a little suspicious.”

Aerith.  Aerith was Zack’s girl.  Yes.  She was.  Cloud knew this, why was it surprising?

“Alright, I’m coming,” Cloud nodded.  Those warm, caring eyes still felt like they were leaving a deep impression on him through his memories, but he wasn’t quite sure why he remembered her being there.  The church was Aerith’s.  When did it ever have a pool of water?

“I don’t understand,” Tifa repeated for the third time, pacing back in forth inside Cloud’s office as she held his work phone to her ear.  She could just barely hear the creaking floorboards, making a mental note to add a slight renovation to their long list of future projects.  “You hired him for the job.  How can you say that you have no memory of the package?  I have the open box sitting right here on the desk.”

A woman’s voice came through the other end of the line.  “Well, I’m afraid it’s already a mistake for him to have opened it.  He was paid to deliver it, not to open private mail.”

“He opened it because it started glowing,” Tifa sighed in exasperation.  “I promise you, he would have never opened your package if he didn’t have his reasons.  But, ma’m, he is sick and no doctor in Edge seems to recognize it.”

“Most Materia wear off with time.”

“Not this kind,” Tifa shook her head.  The fingers of her left hand nervously played with the hem of her vest.  Her anger was quickly bubbling, her patience with apathetic woman wearing thin, but her voice remained level.  “Please, all I want is some information.  You have to know something.”

There was a significant pause, and Tifa heard the woman click her tongue.  “We know nothing about the Materia, only that the guy wanted it.”

Tifa tapped her left foot.  “And who was this client, anyway?”  She wouldn’t be surprised if this woman didn’t give her the answer she wanted.  It was fine, either way.  She’d just find the contact information in Cloud’s records and see if that person was any less ambiguous.

“We are not allowed to say.  I am sorry, Miss Lockhart, but it is already pushing it a bit too far for you to be calling us after business was declared complete.”

“I didn’t ‘declare’ anything,” Tifa huffed.  “Neither did Cloud.  I just would have thought your business would take at least a little responsibility for what your package did to him.”  She was sounding harsh now, and Tifa did feel a bit bad about it, but she remembered a piece of advice from Barret.  At least one person in the conversation had to be this way if anything would get done.

“We declared business completed,” the woman answered as if Tifa didn’t already assume as such.  “I’m sorry that your delivery boy is sick, but unless you can properly trace his symptoms back to anything we gave him, then we won’t be taking action to investigate.”

Of all the filthy, stuck up-

“Have a nice day,” Tifa muttered through gritted teeth before ending the call right there and placing the phone back on the wall.  She stared at it for a moment and placed her hands on her hips, blowing a stray hair out of her face.  Cloud’s health seemed to now be balancing on one more phone call, and Tifa was both nervous and relieved that she’d be a part of it.  She’d do her best to get the information Cloud needed, but there was no telling if she’d get it or not.  Then she’d have to be the one to tell him she failed.  That she let him down.  That he’d have to ride his symptoms off, and painfully wait until he got better.  If he got better at all.

“Our lives can never be simple, can they?”

Cloud was seated on a floor board, his legs crossed in front of him and his hands holding a sandwich that he’d only taken a few bites out of.  He was watching as Aerith tended to her flowers there in the middle of the church, smiling to herself as she did so.  Seeing her here felt strange, almost wrong.  No, it wasn’t wrong to see her here, but now perhaps?  But why?  The girl seemed just as real as Zack.

The black-haired merc was hovering right over Aerith’s shoulder, chatting with her so quietly that Cloud could only make out a few of his words here and there.  Every so often, Cloud would notice Zack start smirking as he seemingly told her something silly, and then Aerith would start giggling.  It was a giggle she kept for him.  One that Cloud never saw her use whenever Zack was away.

I need to stop staring, Cloud berated himself, looking back down at his sandwich.  He took another small bite, chewing the soft meat between his teeth thoughtfully.  Seeing Zack and Aerith happy together was a relieving feeling.  Both of them had led stressful lives for so long, and at the end of every day, Zack would come home to her here or somewhere else.  Despite all of the back-breaking work Zack would put himself through each day, it made it worth it to see her smiling face greet him after it was all over. 

Something about it felt familiar, and Cloud’s thoughts quickly went back to the woman he remembered smiling at him in this church, while he stood in a pool of water.  Something about that couldn’t be right, though.  There was no water, only a bed of flowers, and Aerith seemed certain that the church hadn’t had more than a couple people in it at once.  At least, not for a long time.

The carmine eyes seemed so welcoming and warm, holding Cloud’s attention further.  He found himself smiling at a floorboard as he was lost in thought just thinking about her.  He couldn’t piece together everything just yet – couldn’t put a name to those eyes, either – but it felt right.  Somehow Zack and Aerith felt less real than a single image stuck in Cloud’s head.

Cloud tried distracting himself with something else, wondering what he’d do after he decided to leave Zack and Aeirth alone for the night.  Typically, he’d head back to their apartment, make sure Zack’s belongings there were still locked up tight, and he’d get some rest.  There was still a lot of time left, though.  Where did he normally go to relax and spend a few hours of the day?  For some reason, he couldn’t remember.

There was someone he thought of.  Someone…waiting for him? 

Tifa.

“I need to see Tifa,” Cloud blurted without think about it, standing to his feet.

Zack looked up, raising an eyebrow.  “Well, that was pretty sudden.  What’s the rush?”

Cloud shook his head, feeling unsure.  For some reason, he knew he needed to get to her.  He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he didn’t, walking across the floor to grab his Fusion Sword that was rested against the wall. 

“Got an answer for me, or no?” Zack pressed further, straightening himself to watch Cloud.  Aerith had turned herself, too, to cast a concerned glance. 

“I need to get to Tifa,” Cloud repeated, feeling it difficult to say anything else with much certainty.  That was all he knew, that he needed to get to her somehow.  He placed his sword on his back, and had began walking to the door when Zack grabbed his shoulder to stop him. 

“That’s fine, man, but why is this suddenly so important?  You never want to talk about her when I ask,” Zack pointed out. 

“That’s because…it’s complicated.”  Cloud hung his head. 

“Feeling bad that you haven’t visited the bar in a while?” Zack guessed, triggering another vision in Cloud’s mind.

The entrance to the bar.  Pushing past the doors to drop his bag beside the coat rack.  Pocketing a pair of keys before walking further inside to find something to drink.  That same woman embracing him from behind as he poured a cup of water. 

“I missed you…”

The words felt so real, sending a shiver down Cloud’s spine.  There was no one standing close enough to speak into his ear, but her lingering voice was somehow there. 

“Cloud, is everything alright?” Aerith asked, and he turned to notice she was now standing on his other side while Zack looked him over.  The flower girl reached out a careful hand to feel Cloud’s forehead, frowning as she felt nothing wrong there.  “You don’t seem feverish.”

“Why would I?” Cloud asked, actually feeling a bit disappointed that the other woman’s voice was gone. 

“You started talking to yourself,” Zack said.

“Quite literally,” Aerith nodded.  “Almost like you were acting out both halves of a conversation.”

“Really?  What did I say?” Cloud asked, but it was if they never heard him.  Zack grabbed Cloud by the arm and pulled him along, waving goodbye to Aerith.  “Come on, SOLDIER, you’re clearly missing that poor girl, so we’re off to find the bar.  She still works there, right?”

Cloud paused.  He saw the bar, saw her there, felt her hand in his while she talked about a long day of mixing drinks and waiting tables.  He was watching her lips as she spoke, seeing them part and move to formulate words.  She was asking him if he wasn’t too tired.  If she could trust him to watch the kids while she went to the store for ingredients.

“Marlene,” Cloud voiced out loud as another thought came to him.  “I need to see her, too.”

“Barret’s daughter?” Zack asked.

“Yeah…yeah, that sounds right.”

“Well, sometimes Tifa babysits her when the big guy is away.  At least, that’s what I hear.  What’s going on anyway?  Why is it so important to see them?”

Cloud shook his head, and began walking back into the business of Midgar.  “I’m not sure.  Just…take me there, please.”

Zack shrugged.  “Whatever you say, partner.”

“Whaddya mean Spiky’s in no shape to watch the kids?” Barret’s voice boomed over the phone.  “The damn kid’s been through hell and back, fighting Shinra and Sephiroth and all that.  Now he gets a cold and he can’t watch over two kids?”

Tifa sighed.  She knew the conversation would go this way, but it didn’t make it any easier.  It was understandable why anyone would be confused.  How was someone supposed to convince people that a guy as weathered and experienced as Cloud Strife had gotten so sick he could hardly keep his eyes open, much less put together a complete sentence?  It was heartbreaking to watch, but without that visual proof, most people found it hard to believe her.

“Barret, it’s serious,” Tifa pressed.  “Cloud’s never been effected by anything like this.  Even when he had Geostigma, he could still make deliveries.  He could still fight.”  Tifa’s eyes shifted over to the open door, wishing she could peer down the hall to see Cloud’s sleeping face.  “Right now, he’s not in a coma, but he can’t do much of anything.  In the rare chance that he does wake up, he doesn’t seem to actually reconnect to the world.  To me.  To anything.”  Tifa groaned.  “It’s frustrating.”

Barret let out a quiet “oh…” before being quiet for a while.  Eventually, he spoke up, “I get it, I guess.  Probably brings back bad memories of Mideel, huh?”

“Yeah.  It does.”  Tifa cleared her throat.  “Anyway, it’s not nearly as bad as all that, but I still need to be concerned for him.”

“Mm, right,” Barret agreed.

“I just got off the phone with the business the package was supposed to go to,” Tifa explained, already partly dreading the engagement.  “They’re being pretty cryptic.”

Barret scoffed.  “Is that surprising?”

“After talking to the guys who sent it, no,” Tifa bit her bottom lip.  “But I at least took from what they told me that there is a cure for the Materia’s effects.  Only problem is that I don’t know if they actually have it.  If they do, they must have not have thought it was important enough to tell me.”  Tifa realized how bitter she sounded, and softened her voice.  “I’m about to head out and meet them in person.”

“Maybe not a good idea, Teef,” Barret’s tone grew more serious.  “What even are these people?  Researchers?”

“Botanists, actually.”

“The hell-?”

“I don’t know any more than you do on that part,” Tifa assured him, shaking her head.  “I’m assuming the cure may come from some kind of plant.”

“I guess that makes sense.  So what – you gonna just waltz in there and put on the puppy dog eyes for ‘em?  Something tells me it won’t be that easy to make them give it up.”

“If it comes down to a fight, you know I’ve got it covered,” Tifa remarked a bit cockily, patting one hand against her pocket that held her fighting gloves. 

“That I do know.  Still, the less you know about their business…”

“The less I know about their motives, I know,” Tifa sighed.  “But I have to try.  If they don’t have it, then…I guess I’ll just keep looking.”

“I’m sure you will.  Spiky’s too damn lucky to have you lookin’ out for him.”

Tifa smiled gently, looking back at the door again.  She hoped to hear those words from him when this was all over.  “That’s what family is for, right?  He’d do the same for me in a heartbeat.”

“Mhm.  So…you sure you don’t want me coming along as backup?”

“No, Barret, this is something I need to do on my own.  Bringing anyone along will make things awkward.  I’m not going to fight unless that’s what it comes down to.  Besides…I need you to watch over Marlene and Denzel and keep them safe.”

“Right.  I will.”

“Thank you.  I’ll call you back with whatever I find out, okay?”

“Fine.  Stay safe, you hear?”

“Same to you.  Bye.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The call ended and Tifa put the phone back where it belonged.  She was already prepared, and after shoving Cloud’s record book into a backpack, she put it on over her arms and left Cloud’s office.  As soon as she neared the entrance to the bedroom, Yuffie perked up and hurried over to her.

“Finally!  You were in there for so long.  Did you figure out the cure?”

“Not yet.  I have to take a trip.”  Tifa decided to keep it at that.  Fortunately, Yuffie wasn’t nearly as concerned as Barret, so she nodded and let the comment pass right over her head.  “You and Vincent can keep watch of Cloud while I’m gone, I hope?”

Yuffie opened her mouth to protest, but Vincent’s voice swiftly filled the room and cut her off.  “Of course.  You have my word.”

Tifa nodded and walked into the room, stopping at the side of the bed.  Left hand rested on one of Cloud’s that was placed on his stomach, while her right hand reached up to gently brush his cheek.  “Cloud?  Can you hear me?”

He made a quiet noise of discomfort, leaning into her touch as if she wasn’t the only one holding him and he was tearing himself away from a hundred other hands.  Still, his eyes did not open and he didn’t speak. 

“I’m sorry, Cloud,” Tifa muttered, keeping her voice low.  “I know it probably hurts too much to talk.  But that’s okay.”  As she spoke, her thumb slowly rubbed up and down his cheekbones, and the hand that was placed in his ran smooth circles into his palm.  Cloud exhaled gently, much to Tifa’s relief.  “I’m gonna fix this.  Pretty soon, I’ll be back with a cure.  We’re gonna work together on this, alright?  Slowly ease you back to health until you’re your normal self again.”

Cloud’s lips parted and a single word came out, “…bar.”

Tifa was almost too overjoyed that he was speaking to think much of the word itself.  “Cloud, you said something!  That’s great!”

“What – he finally talks and the first thing he wants is to ask for a beer?” Yuffie snorted.

“No, I don’t think so…” Tifa shook her head.  “Cloud...you said ‘bar’, right?  Can you nod your head if I’m right?”  She waited a while, but he made no move to do so.  “That’s fine; I know it’s hard to move.  If you’re worried about who’ll take care of the bar, it’s not a problem.  I’m only going to be gone for a couple hours, and I have Vincent and Yuffie here just in case.”  Tifa’s shoulders relaxed.  “You don’t just have me here looking out for you, Cloud.  Your friends came for you.”

Cloud had since tipped his head back further, and his mouth closed again.  Tifa’s heart nearly sank.  Barret’s comparison to the Mako-poisoned boy in Mideel was scarily accurate.

“I believe he’s fully fallen out of consciousness again,” Vincent observed.

“Yeah…” Tifa nodded, giving Cloud one last squeeze before standing up straight.  “I’ll be back, Cloud.  I promise.”

“Do you need a ride?” Yuffie asked as Tifa walked out the door.  The ninja girl hurried to peer out from the doorframe, likely eager to leave Cloud’s side and stretch her legs.

Tifa thought of Fenrir.  The bike had been collecting dust in the garage these past few days, and it would get her there faster than anything else.  “Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got it covered.”

Chapter Text

“Bar,” Cloud chanted to himself, continuing to do so repeatedly as if he was afraid he’d forget it.  He and Zack had been walking around Midgar for half an hour now, finding that the trains had already left without them.  “Bar.  Bar.  Where’s the bar?”

“Take it easy, Cloud,” Zack’s eyebrows furled in concern.  He fell in step with Cloud and reached an arm around the shorter man, hugging him at the side.  “From the way you’re talking to yourself, it’s almost like you’re afraid you forgot where it is.”  Cloud didn’t say anything to that, so Zack decided to quickly change up the focus.  “So…something going on with you and Tifa?”

“Hmm?” Cloud made a sound of sudden interest.  Zack smirked, not surprised that all it took was mentioning her name to pique Cloud’s interest. 

“You seem rather eager to see her,” Zack shrugged, his hand patting Cloud’s shoulder.  “And out of the blue, too.  You never said anything about wanting to go until we met up with Aerith.”

“I’m not sure,” Cloud admitted honestly.  “She does live at the bar, right?”

“Wouldn’t you know?” Zack questioned.  “And I don’t know about if she lives there.  Pretty sure she has her own apartment.”

“Really?” Cloud asked.  A new scene appeared to him then, even clearer than the earlier ones.  There she was again, standing at the top of a brief flight of stairs inside the bar.  She was giving him that smile again.

“I’m heading off to bed,” her voice came to Cloud’s ear again, despite her standing so far away.  “Don’t stay up too long, okay?”

“Hey, Cloud,” Zack’s voice was in Cloud’s other ear, and the vision of Tifa instantly dissipated, replaced by the view of Midgar’s bleak metal buildings.  Zack was eyeing Cloud, and he finally noticed that they’d both stopped walking.  “You still in there, buddy?”

Cloud shook his head, hoping to clear his thoughts, and the nodded.  “Y-yeah.  I’m fine.”  If she had an apartment, why did he remember her having a bedroom on the top floor of the bar?  His only hope was to get to the bar quickly and see for himself.  See Tifa for himself.  Maybe then he could discard this conflict as a result of not getting enough sleep.  Maybe the Mako had something to do with it, too.

“So…is there anything going on between you two?” Zack asked again, not willing to let it slide.  “Is there a date planned for tonight that I didn’t know about?”

Cloud frowned.  “No.  I don’t think so…”

“Look Cloud, you either are going on a date or you’re not,” Zack rolled his eyes.  “You don’t have to be embarrassed about telling me.  Tifa’s a nice girl, and I’m sure she-“

“No, that’s not it.  This isn’t a date, this is…wrong.”

“Come again?”

“Something isn’t right.”

“I’ll say.  You sure you’re alright?”

“Tifa will know.”

“You saying she’ll know but you don’t?” Zack asked, completely bewildered.  “Cloud, tell me what’s up with you.”

“I’m not talking about that.  I’m talking about…this,” Cloud gestured with his arms, essentially to the entire city.  “Midgar.  The church.”  Cloud’s eyes narrowed a bit.  “Has there ever been a pool in Aerith’s church?”

“I doubt anyone is brave enough to tick her off that bad,” Zack shook her head.  “What kind of a question is that, anyway?”

Cloud remembered it.  He’d seen it.  He had practically felt that water soaking him from the waist down when he envisioned Tifa smiling at him amongst all of those cheerful kids splashing around.

“We should just get to the bar,” Cloud grumbled, no longer feeling the patience needed to look into this any deeper without more help. 

“Alright,” Zack sighed.  “It’s just up ahead.  We’ve just entered the slums.”

That didn’t sound right, either.  “The slums?”

“Cloud, you can’t possibly tell me that the slums aren’t familiar to you,” Zack shook his head.  The man was more than concerned.  Now he was certain that there was a serious issue, and he pulled Cloud along faster.  “If seeing Tifa is what it takes to get some real answers out of you, then so be it.  You know you can be honest with me, though.”

Cloud frowned again.  “I never said I wasn’t.”

Zack gave no response as he brought Cloud to the entrance of Seventh Heaven.  A streak of warm, welcoming light came through the open space between the two wooden doors, and Cloud could hear chatter from multiple different sources inside.  Before Cloud could say anything more, Zack pushed the doors open, walked inside, and pulled Cloud right along with him.

And there was Tifa.  Behind the bar, smiling brightly as a patron waved goodbye to her, Tifa stood by herself in her usual get-up.  Cloud’s head hurt.  Was it her usual outfit?

A white tank top over a black sports bra left her shoulders bare, as well as her toned stomach and midriff.  Her hands were held in black leather gloves that almost came up to her elbows, with red and black armor plates across to support her fists in combat.  Cloud spotted a teardrop earring on her left ear, showed off by long dark hair with some strands tucked behind the ear. 

When she looked at him, Cloud felt both relieved and stressed at the same time.  It was her, but something about her didn’t feel right.  Was this how it always was now?  Was his head playing tricks on him? 

“Cloud, Zack!” Tifa greeted them warmly, coming out from behind the bar.  Before she could say anything more, Cloud hurried forward and embraced her in a hug, feeling her smaller frame flush against his.  It felt like he hadn’t seen her in ten years, like the last time he’d hugged her had been too long ago to remember. 

“Oh!” Tifa laughed nervously, squeezing back hesitantly before pulling away.  “It’s good to see you, Cloud.”

He had hoped the contact would immediately bring some sort of understanding to the forefront of his mind, but all Cloud felt was a rush of embarrassment.  Why would he think that hugging her would produce answers?  His eyes widened a bit.  “I’m sorry, was that-“

“No, no, it’s fine,” she waved it off.  “I’ve just never known you to be a very touchy person, that’s all.”  There seemed to be more to it, but Tifa didn’t explain any further.  “So, you boys want something to drink?”

“Oh, do we!” Zack grinned, walking over to a barstool with Cloud close behind.  “Been a long day of chasing down crime lords.”

“Oh, really?” Tifa’s eyebrows raised a bit, seeming impressed.  “So finding work as a merc ended up working out just fine then?”  She turned to grab a couple of glasses while the boys took their seats. 

“Some days more than others,” Zack admitted, sounding a bit downtrodden.  He joined his hands together on the counter in front of him, running the surface of his thumbs together back and forth.  “Can’t always expect money to come in at the end of every day.  Just gotta keep looking when it doesn’t happen, right Cloud?”

Cloud managed a small smile.  “Yeah.”

“But you’re at least enjoying it?” Tifa asked, her voice heightening just a bit as she turned back to them.  Cloud watched her hair for a moment, noticing how it fell past her waist.  Had it always been that long?  He was pulled away from his inner thoughts when he felt her eyes on him, realizing she was waiting for an answer.

“I enjoy it, yeah,” Cloud offered lamely, keeping his head low.  Tifa seemed to notice his demeanor, her eyes glistening at him for a moment and her lips slightly quirking.  Then, as soon as she did so, she turned back to the glasses like nothing every happened.  Cloud hated that feeling.  Hated how he knew she could tell something was wrong with him but neither of them was brave enough to say it.  It made him feel useless, like somehow being honest about his problems was more difficult than any merc job he’d taken so far.  Tifa deserved better than that, didn’t she?

Her voice was in his ear again, but not from the Tifa standing across from him.  “Words aren’t the only way of telling someone how you feel.”  This memory came more as a feeling, this time without images to accompany it.  Something more passionate, more longing.  The sound of engines rang in Cloud’s head, possibly from some kind of airship. 

“How’s that sound, Cloud?” Zack’s voice cut into the vision, and Cloud felt the entire thing wash away forever.  He shut his eyes in frustration before nodding and looking back at Zack.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Tifa and I were just talking about a new job she’s got for us,” Zack explained. 

Well, that was a surprise.  Cloud’s face lifted a little, but not without a bit of inquisition.  “Merc work?”

Tifa nodded, and Cloud finally noticed that she already poured their drinks and set them down.  Had he been that oblivious?  He didn’t even remember telling her what she wanted, and yet somehow the drink he was in the mood for the most tonight was sitting in front of him with a tiny umbrella sticking out of it.  Cloud glanced over at Zack’s and noticed he didn’t have one.  Weird.

“You know about that group of friends I’ve been working with against Shinra, right?” Tifa kept her voice low, looking around to make sure none of the patrons nearby overheard her.  “Well, we’ve been planning a big move.  Taking out a Mako reactor.”

Cloud didn’t feel as surprised as he thought he would have.  Somehow, it felt like old news, if that was even possible.  “The whole thing?”

“Doesn’t have to be, but…” Tifa wriggled a bit, hugging her arms to her chest.  It was a typical part of her body language, normally signaling that she was embarrassed or uncomfortable.  Cloud wasn’t sure how he knew that, but it was nice to feel some sort of confidence when watching her.  “They’re a lot more gung-ho about the bombing than I am.  Personally, I’d rather we do something else.  Something that will risk fewer casualties.”

“So you want to hire us to do something different?” Cloud asked.

“No,” Tifa answered, sounding disappointed.  “I may feel differently about the situation, but it is for a noble cause.  I’m trying to tell myself that they’re all just more willing to take the next step than I am.  Makes it a bit easier, I guess.”

“So the bombing is still green lighted,” Zack surmised, eliciting a nod from Tifa.  “Well, whaddya say, partner?” Zack grinned.  “You ever taken part in a bombing before?”

Cloud was hesitant.  “No.  I mean, yes.  Yeah.  I’ll do it.”  As long as Tifa is there and things start making sense again.

Tifa smiled, but Cloud could tell her heart wasn’t in it.

Maxwell Botany was like many other businesses outside of Edge and the remnants of Midgar.  It was mostly untainted by the presence of Meteor several years before, and despite not being placed in a bustling city, the facility had a sizeable amount of visitors.  Tifa took quick note of the light, cheery atmosphere as she held the door open for a couple leaving before entering herself.

Not wasting any time, Tifa quickly made her way to the desk in the center of the lobby.  White marble floors complimented the steel grey of the walls, and there were way more windows installed than Tifa knew what to do with.  The building itself was unnecessarily expensive, and it was a wonder to Tifa why such a simple business would have so many constant customers.

A man at the desk looked up from his work.  He didn’t offer a smile or even a small nod of greeting.  Instead, his words passed from his mouth mechanically, stating the usual, “May I help you?”

“Yes,” Tifa nodded, reaching into her backpack for Cloud’s records.  “I called the office here about an hour ago about an accident involving a delivery that was being sent to you?  It’s Strife Delivery.  In Edge.”  Her eyes fell to the man’s notepad, noticing he wasn’t writing anything down.  “Is it possible to talk to whoever is in charge of accepting deliveries?”

“Who are you?” he asked bluntly, his sharp tone taking Tifa by surprise.

“Oh, uhm…Tifa Lockhart.  I run the bar Seventh Heaven.  The delivery service is housed in the same building.”

The man’s expression still didn’t change, and he barely looked up at her.  “We don’t do business with bars.”

“That’s why I said the delivery service is attached,” Tifa repeated, hoping to not sound too irritated.  Why were people so stubborn today?  “I came here because the man sent to deliver your package of Materia has fallen gravely ill.  He’s bedridden and can-“

“Materia, you say?” the man cut her off, seeming like gears were finally turning in his head.  Appearing far more engaged now, he rose from his seat and began walking to an elevator.  “Please, come with me.  I will bring you to the people in charge right away.”

“Oh…thank you,” Tifa gave a small smile even though he couldn’t see it.  As they entered the elevator, she made sure to keep her distance the entire way up.  The man had drastically changed outwardly from how he was just moments before, seeming unreasonably eager to bring her to the bosses as soon as possible.  It hadn’t even been because of the mention of Cloud being sick, but the Materia instead.

As the doors slid back open, a long conference room was revealed with a large table in the center.  Two black-suited men and one woman in a skirt and white blouse were seated around, with the more fancy of the two men placed at the end.  Each of the three made eye contact with Tifa immediately, and she suddenly felt very small. 

Shoulders straight, girl.  Chin up.  This is nothing.

“Doyle,” the main man addressed the one beside Tifa.  “What have you brought this time?”

“Mr. Perkins, sir, this is Tifa Lockhart.  She says she is associated with Strife Delivery.  The service that was hired to bring us the special package.”

Perkins’s eyes lit up and he leaned forward in his seat.  He motioned with a hand to the table, urging her over.  “Please, Miss Lockhart, take a seat.  We have much to discuss, I’m sure.”

“Uhm…thank you,” Tifa responded, hesitantly seating herself so that there was an empty chair between her and the other woman.  “I was told on the phone that there was nothing more to be discussed.”

“Well, I don’t know anything about that,” Perkins waved it off.  “Please tell me why you’ve come here today.”

“The delivery boy – his name’s Cloud – was effected by the Materia while on the way to deliver it.  He’s been terribly sick for days and I was hoping you knew of a cure.”

The three heads exchanged knowing glances before Perkins cleared his throat.  “Fortunately, there is one remedy our labs have been cooking up.  It uses parts of a special plant we grow here to isolate the virus and make it easier to extract in one go.”

Tifa felt weary.  “Extract…what do you mean by that?”

“By surgery, dear,” the woman spoke up for the first time, batting her lashes.  “Surely you know that the Materia’s effects are focused on the brain?”

“No, I didn’t…” Tifa spoke slowly, growing increasingly concerned.  “I don’t know how I could been able to tell.  It seems like his entire body is shutting off sometimes.”

“Easy to trigger motor failure by going straight to the brain,” Perkins nodded.  “This has been a particularly tricky type of Materia we’ve yet to understand fully.  Still, each surgery has been completed successfully and those who were exposed have since fully recovered.  I’m sure Mr. Strife will be fine after a few days of rest following the procedure.”

“So you knew about the dangers before hiring someone to deliver it?” Tifa asked in disbelief.  “Without any warning of what it could do?”

“We’d prefer if neither of you had known about it,” Perkins shook his head.  “This was a private delivery, and we were hoping this Materia could have avoided being revealed to the public for the time being.  It is still in an experimental stage.”

“Then don’t hire Cloud to bring it to you,” Tifa folded her arms, her eyes flicking up to Perkins.  “I’d rather you not hire him ever again if your business is so careless with something you don’t understand.”

“No need to be so touchy,” the woman rolled her eyes.  She seemed to smirk just a little after noticing Tifa’s anger bubbling.  “Accidents happen.  Just a quick surgery, and you’ll soon forget this ever happened.”

“I have to pay for it, don’t I?” Tifa asked, already knowing the answer.

“Well, yes,” Perkins nodded slowly.  “Unless…”

“You did this to him,” Tifa pressed further.  She was rubbing along the line of aggression now, her words taking more spiteful form, but there was no going back now.  Someone needed to make a change.  “Why should he or I have to pay money to fix the mess?”  Barret would be proud when she relayed the conversation to him later.

Perkins stuttered a bit, losing his words.  “I…uh…I guess you’re right.  I assume it’s only fair, despite the fact the package never arrived.”

Tifa’s eyes felt like they were burning – not with tears, but with actual heat.  “That should be the least of your problems.  Cloud is a living being, not…” she threw a hand up helplessly, failing to hide the slight quiver of her bottom lip.  “…not an accident to be quickly forgotten.”  He’d already been treated as such before.  Told by Sephiroth that he was nothing but a failed experiment, led to believe that his life was meaningless and his memories were all made up.

Tifa had lifted him out of that kind of mess before, and wasn’t about to see it happen again.

“I see you’re quite upset,” the third figure in the room, the man who had not before spoken, commented dryly.  It was the worst thing he could have said, and even Perkins seemed to take note.

“Of course I am,” Tifa’s voice decided to lie comfortably at a lower, tenser level.  She was starting to understand another reason why these people gave her a bad feeling.  Just like Shinra, they put on neat suits and smiles, promising the world so many nice things when in reality, they exploited everyone the wanted for power or money right before sliding the evidence under a rug.  They were no doubt expecting Tifa to keep quiet about it, too.  They were going to ask her not to tell anyone about it, saying it wasn’t really a big deal.

Lucky me, I’m seated here with Shinra 2.0, Tifa thought to herself.  “Before the surgery, I need all the information you have on this Materia.”  It didn’t come as a question or even a request, but a command.  Her eyes stayed narrow and her lips pursed together firmly as she made eye contact with each of the three heads.  “You must know an awful lot to have worked up an antidote, right?”

“Not quite an antidote, but-“ the second man started, but Perkins cut him off.

“You’d be surprised, actually.  We know so little about it that we didn’t even bother writing it down on any document.  The cure was put together with a mixture of ingredients and it fortunately does its job.  You see, our lab people took what they knew of other Materia effects and did the guesswork.”

Tifa wasn’t convinced.  “If it isn’t on a document, where is it?”

“Up here,” the woman tapped her forehead, still wearing that obnoxious smirk.  “The Materia seems to only target the mind specifically.  Makes ‘em go crazy.”

“Cloud’s nearly comatose,” Tifa pointed out.  “That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

“Crazy in here,” Perkins explained, tapping his own forehead as well.  “While your friend’s body is at rest, hardly exerting any energy at all, his mind is more active than ever.  Imagine when you’re having a bad nightmare, and you’re tossing and turning all night, but it’s all happening in your head.  His senses would be incredibly heightened, so he probably thinks what he’s dreaming of right now is real life.”

Tifa wasn’t sure how to respond, running the implications through her brain.  “So he’s trapped in his head?”  It wouldn’t be the first time.

“You could put it that way, yes.  But that really is all we know.  We’re botanists, not Materia specialists.”

“So why’d you buy it?” Tifa finally asked the question, and she noticed everyone else at the table tense up.

“Excuse me?” the woman asked.

“Why’d you buy it?” Tifa repeated, louder this time.  They were still hiding something from and she knew it.  “If you specialize in plant life, why bother having experimental Materia, which is typically used for combat purposes, sent here by mail?  Quite discreetly, may I add.”

Perkins took a deep breath.  “Miss Lockhart, I think you’re reading into this a bit too far.”

He isn’t answering the question.  “I disagree.  Something isn’t right about all of this.  Why should I trust any doctor with doing surgery on Cloud’s brain when no one can even tell me with full certainty what this illness even is?  Do you even have proof that the remedy works one hundred percent of the time?”

“I…”

“Please, Mr. Perkins, if anything, I think it’s you who is reading into this too little.”  Tifa stood to her feet then, pushing the chair back in against the table.  The heads began standing as well, raising their hands in protest, but she remained firm.  “I want to see him recover more than anyone, but I won’t risk his life on a procedure that’s only been tested on a handful of people.”

“Then bring him in,” the other man beside Perkins spoke up.  “We can have him looked at right here and do more extensive research.”

Tifa shook her head in disbelief.  “I thought you were botanists.”

The man froze.

Oh.  Crap.  Tifa’s eyes widened and she looked at Perkins and the woman for their reactions before taking a breath.  “That vial in your hand,” she gestured to the object held tightly between Perkins’ fingers, rested at his side.  “It’s not a cure, or a remedy, or whatever you called it.  It’s…poison, isn’t it?”

The room grew silent, the atmosphere becoming tenser by the second.  Finally, Perkins reached down to the table, and before Tifa could stop him, he held down a button for the intercom.  “Get security in here now.”

The next few events happened so fast that Tifa was barely prepared to block an electric baton swinging down on her head.  There were four of them, all dressed in suits and spilling into the room as one.  Two of them charged forward with their batons, sparks flying off of the tips, and Tifa ducked between their arms to whirl back around and throw them into each other.  As they flopped onto the ground, Tifa focused her attention on the next pair.  One was slowly, cautiously approaching while the other seemed to be guarding the exit.

Without much time to strategize, Tifa was running forward for the closest man, throwing a series of six punches into his chest.  Using the knockback for momentum, she executed a backflip kick, her heel smacking right across the guard’s jaw and sending him stumbling into the wall.  The other guard had begun sneaking around her, but Tifa telegraphed him well and slid down to the floor, locking her legs around his ankles.  With a strong squeeze, she upset his balance and sent him down, and as he landed on his back in front of her, she ended the fight with a strong punch to his face.

A small whimper followed before the guard fell unconscious. 

Tifa stood back to her feet, contemplating whether or not to put her gloves on as she looked around.  The two men from early in the fight were still down, seemingly too disoriented to stand, and the third was moaning quietly on the floor beside the door.  The bartender smiled at her work and rubbed her right wrist.

“You aren’t making yourself look any less guilty, Mr. Perkins,” Tifa mocked as she walked around the table, even causing the white-bloused woman to tremble a bit in fear.  Tifa peered around the corner, looking for wherever Perkins was hiding, before she heard a click and a gun was instantly aimed at her head.

Perkins was seated under the table, hidden from plain sight, and his hands slightly shook with the gun between his fingers.  The pistol was shiny and clean, and had probably never been used before, which was further proven by just how awkward the man looked while holding it.  Still, he seemed prepared to take the kill.  “I’ll teach you something about sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, you-GAH!”

Tifa swiftly kicked the gun out of his hands, most likely breaking a few fingers from the sound of it.  As Perkins wailed there on the floor, Tifa leaned down to grab him by the shirt, forcing him to his feet.  “What was the lesson?  I didn’t quite get that.”

“Go to hell,” he seethed.

“I’m going home, actually.  This place reeks of Shinra.”

“You think we’re allied with those idiots?” Perkins laughed bitterly.  “That why you came in here looking to start some trouble?”

“No, but you seem a lot alike.  Not quite what I would have expected from a company growing plants.  Now,” Tifa cleared her throat, pushing Perkins against the wall.  “After I call the authorities, why don’t you start being really honest about this Materia, hmm?”

Breaking into the facility shielding the Mako reactor had been far easier than Cloud expected.  Everything from the amount of guards to the methods of entering seemed so familiar.  He was essentially going through the motions, expertly leading Tifa and Zack down another corridor on their way to the reactor.  It was odd how this was actually not even his idea or his own mission, but he’d almost instantly taken the lead.

Tifa noticed.  “Cloud…you sure you’ve never been here before?”  She was coming up to walk closer to him now, her shoulder barely grazing his whenever she’d gently lean closer.  Cloud didn’t look at her but her presence beside him still filled him with a confusing kind of satisfaction.  If being near her was the key to understanding what didn’t feel right about today, something would have triggered by now. 

“Maybe I have been here,” Cloud admitted, hating how uncertain he sounded.  “I’m really not sure.”

“You seem to know the way pretty well,” Tifa pointed out.  “We’ve gotten to this point before Jessie and the others, which means that if we keep up this pace, it’ll be up to our group to set up the bomb.”

“It’ll be alright.  You don’t have to do it.”

“Hmm?”

“Well, I…you clearly aren’t happy about being a part of this,” Cloud said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I’ve noticed it since we got here.”

Tifa seemed surprised, looking at Cloud with curious eyes.  Cloud found himself looking into them for a bit.  “Well, I mean…”

“You’re torn between whether this right or not,” Cloud went on, finding the words coming from his lips faster than he could filter.  “You’ve got that look that says you’re hesitant but still willing.  I know that look.”

“You do?”

He did.  He had, for what feels like years, but he wasn’t sure why or how.  He didn’t get to see Tifa very often with merc jobs taking up most of his time, and even before that they were apart for five years following the destruction of Nibelheim…

So where did the pool in the church and the happy children come into play?

Marlene, too.  He’d forgotten to ask about her.

“So, how long we got until we reach the spot?” Zack asked as came up along Cloud’s other side.  It was then that Cloud realized he never explained himself to Tifa, and they must have been walking in awkward silence for a bit too long.  He was grateful for Zack, who always seemed to know when to jump in a fix a rocky conversation.  His friendly personality was what attracted Aerith, after all.

“Oh, uh, we’re nearly there,” Tifa answered, looking ahead.  “Just past this corridor, actually.”

“Great.  You wanna set the bomb, Cloud, or should I?” Zack asked.

Cloud wasn’t sure.  As he contemplated an answer, he heard Tifa’s voice in his ear again, while the Tifa beside him had her mouth shut. 

“We’re gonna work together on this, alright?”

Cloud’s eyebrows furled in confusion.  “I thought you didn’t want to set it.”

Zack tilted his head.  “When did I ever say that?”

“No, no, Tifa…”

“Huh?” she asked, raised an eyebrow.

“Slowly ease you back to health until you’re your normal self again…”

“Ease me back to health?” Cloud asked, and clutched his head.  Something wasn’t right.  Why was he hearing these thoughts in his head?  Why was he hearing Tifa’s voice while she was standing right there in front of him without moving her mouth?

The next words from Tifa came clearer than any he’d heard so far.  “Cloud, I’m back.”

Chapter Text

“Cloud, I’m back,” Tifa spoke softly as she ran a hand through spikes of hair.  She gave Yuffie a warm smile as the ninja pushed over a chair so Tifa could sit right beside the bed.  “Things are more complicated than I thought.  Sorry,” her voice broke, her head hanging low to hide the look of shame and sorrow overloading her senses.  “I’m gonna need you to hang in there a little while longer.”

“I’m assuming by the news report that the botanist idea was a dud, huh?” Yuffie asked, nodding her head up the TV screen set at the end of the bed.  Tifa had originally placed it there to try and get Cloud to respond to something, even if it was only flashy colors and images.  Now, it was turned to the news channel, and the audio was up just loud enough to hear.  “Who knew they were the bad guys all along?  Twist ending.”

“They were going to give me poison,” Tifa muttered begrudgingly, her hand still playing with Cloud’s hair as she thought.  “I would have given it to him, thinking it was some kind of cure.  He would have died like he is now.  How cruel is that?”

“We’ve encountered crueler,” Vincent pointed out.

“Vincent,” Yuffie hissed.  “Show some sympathy.”

“Oh.  Sorry.”

“It’s fine, guys, I just…” Tifa exhaled deeply.  “I just need some time to think.  I don’t know if I’ll even be able to sleep with this on my conscience.”

“They’re going to start an investigation tomorrow morning,” Yuffie offered, watching the television for a bit.  “Those guys may have been liars, but maybe they still have a cure lying around somewhere…?”

“Maybe,” Tifa whispered, stooped over Cloud’s body.  She leaned forward a bit and rested her chin in her hands with her elbows propped on her knees.  The pose felt a bit childish from a woman in her early twenties raising two kids, but at the present moment, Tifa could hardly care.  “Even if they did find something, I’m not sure I’d want it used on Cloud.  Their research sounds scarce.”

“I agree,” Vincent nodded.  “An untested injection could make his condition even worse than it already is.”

Tifa didn’t want to think about that.  Cloud was already at the lowest he’d ever been, even lower than Mideel now.  At least then he had been able to sit up in a wheelchair, or open his eyes for more than a few seconds, or move his head to look around a room with a lost expression.  What worse fate could await him besides death?  The thought of using a machine to help Cloud breathe sent a shiver down Tifa’s spine.  She could picture tubes drawing blood from his body, purifying it, and running it back inside. 

I wish I could keep you safe, Tifa thought as she watched Cloud’s still, sleeping face.  She would have said it out loud if no one else was in the room, knowing how much that wish meant to Cloud.  It was reminiscent of a promise he’d made her when they were so much younger, and it eventually evolved into a mutual obligation between the two of them.  She’d tried her best to be his hero just as much as he was hers.  Now seeing him in such a torpid, helpless state, Tifa couldn’t help but feel guilt.

“There’s only one more idea I can think of,” Yuffie spoke up after a while, turning the TV off.  “I don’t think you’ll like it, though.”

Vincent made a small humming sound.  “I think we both have the same idea.”

Tifa tilted her head slightly, not making eye contact but at least facing their general direction at an angle.  “You mean the Lifestream.  I know, I’ve thought about it for a while.  It was the first thing to come to mind, for obvious reasons.” 

“But you’re worried about adverse effects,” Vincent nodded.

“We could take him to Aerith’s church and dip him into the pool in there,” Yuffie suggested, leaning in to catch Tifa’s glance.  “No one’s saying we have to drop him into the stream itself.”

“But there’s always been a risk with the Lifestream,” Tifa argued.  “If it was able to be contaminated by Jenova cells and cause Geostigma, there’s no telling what the effects of that Materia could do.”

“I’ve thought on this for a while, ever since Cloud and the children were healed in that pool,” Vincent started, his tone taking on a solemn, thoughtful tone.  “I do not believe it is ever the Lifestream’s will to harm life, as it would go against its nature.  The Jenova cells, as well as an extension of Sephiroth’s will, were injected into the stream, but it came back out in the form of the stigma.  Putting Cloud back in the pool would be a gesture of acceptance as his body accepts the Lifestream’s healing.”  Vincent folded his arms confidently.  “I do not believe it would harm or reject him.”

“And if it does nothing?” Tifa asked.

“…then you’ll have neither gained nor lost anything.”

“Right,” Tifa sighed, looking back at Cloud.  “I guess it’s worth a shot.  But only if we can get him there safely,” she added a bit louder.

“We can get Cid to contribute one of his vehicles,” Yuffie smirked, rocking back and forth on her heels.  “I hear he’s got a nice, long van in Rocket Town we could borrow.  It’d be a nice excuse to get the guy off his butt for once, too.”

“Long enough to have Cloud lay down in?” Tifa cocked a brow, her eyes lighting up with interest. 

“I think so,” Yuffie shrugged.  “Even if it isn’t, you can have Cloud sit up just a little, right?”

“I…uh…” Tifa looked from Cloud’s face down to his legs before shaking her head helplessly.  “I’m not sure.  I’ve been too scared to try.”  After a pause, she gave in slowly.  “Cloud’s strong, though.  I’m sure he can manage.”

“Great, then that’s all we gotta do,” Yuffie placed her hands on her hips triumphantly, doing circles around the room.  “Call up Cid, tell him he’d better loan us his van or I’ll rob him clean of all his Materia-“

“You would have done it eventually with or without his cooperation,” Vincent grumbled quietly.

“-carry Cloud out to the van, get him in, drive to the church, dip him into the pool, and Mr. Tough Guy can get back to living up to his name again.”  Yuffie finished, adding up the steps on her fingers for the fun of it.  “And then, after all that, you can finally get some sleep, Teef.”

“Let’s not get our hopes up just yet,” Tifa shook her head, ignoring the way her heart soared right when the idea of this crazy plan working was humored.  She got her hopes up too much before, and she couldn’t afford to do it now when it came to Cloud.  “We should go in the morning.  That way, we can give Cid time to get the van over here and not get stuck carrying Cloud around in the dark.”

“A fine idea,” Vincent drawled before turning away.  “If we’re each in agreement, then I’ll take my leave and meet back here early tomorrow.  Take care, Tifa.”  He nodded at her kindly, and then slipped out of the room.

After a few more comments of knowing all the places she could steal Cid’s Materia from, Yuffie left as well.  Tifa was left to ponder sleeping in Cloud’s office or taking the floor just to hear his breathing.  A part of her deep down needed that reassurance that he wasn’t going away.

Cloud’s hands were gently shaking as his fingers toyed with the components of the bomb.  Zack was pacing back and forth stressfully behind him, and Cloud had lost sight of Tifa a few minutes ago, assuming she was stressing out as well somewhere nearby.

“I can’t believe this,” Zack grumbled, running a gloved hand down his face.  “Just…how does a bomb just fall apart?  Were you juggling it in your hands or something?”

“It was in Tifa’s bag,” Cloud reminded him, hissing through his teeth.  His eyes remained glued to the bomb, trying his best to put it back together without triggering something that would send pieces of himself flying for Shinra to find later.  “I just pulled it out right before it happened.”

“But you did that…that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“You just left this world and joined another one.  Or…or something,” Zack’s voice grew quieter before transitioning into an elongated sigh.  “You say you’re feeling fine, but ever since Aerith’s church – no, ever since the bench in Midgar – you keep acting weird.  It’s not like you to be so distant.”

Wasn’t it?  Cloud felt like Zack was wrong on that end, but he couldn’t guess why he would be.  They were partners and spent most of their days in each other’s presence; wouldn’t Zack know him better than most?

“Maybe I just need some sleep,” Cloud grumbled.

“Yeah?  If we don’t get that bomb set up properly in a few minutes, we’ll all be sleeping for a very long time, won’t we?” The older man made a sound of frustration before kneeling beside Cloud and grabbing one of the pieces.  Cloud pulled it to his chest.

“Wait!  You’re the one who said to be careful.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m making sure I’m the one to fix this,” Zack stated firmly, holding his hand out expectedly.  “Hand it over, buddy.  Please.”

“You don’t trust me to do it?”

“Don’t go there.”

“Why not?  I’m following my gut, just like you told me.”

“It was supposed to be taken with a grain of salt – a sometimes thing, not really applicable when you’ve got a bomb in your hands that you don’t know how to fix.  Your gut isn’t very consistent.”

“It brought us to Tifa.  To this job, didn’t it?”

“Was that all your gut, or your head?  You’re telling me your gut told you to go visit Tifa out of the blue, when we were already keeping Aerith company?  If you feel uncomfortable about me and her being…y’know…then you could have said-“

“That’s not it.  Why would that be it?”

“Then what is it?  You’re clearly not okay.”

“I’m…!  I…I’m…!” Cloud started more than once, his voice raising each time only to falter, followed by his eyes lowering.  “I’m not sure…nothing about this feels right.”  The last part came as a whisper, trailing loosely off of his tongue.  Why did he feel the urge to grab a shirt (whose shirt?  Cloud had no clue) and cry into it?  His mom was gone, and he wasn’t a boy anymore.  If crying was what it came to, he’d let them fall as quick as possible and get over it. 

“Cloud?” Tifa’s voice was close again, but not in his ear.  The words were coming from her mouth this time, and Cloud looked over his shoulder to see her kneeling at his other side, opposite of Zack.  “I can tell something’s wrong, and I promise we can talk after this, for however long you like…”

That sounds nice, Cloud thought.  Sounds familiar, too, like I’ve already been confiding in her for years.  Grabbing her hand and looking her right in the eye seemed less like an impulse and more like a familiar tendency, so that’s what he did.  He couldn’t feel how cold her fingers were through his own gloves, but he heard her gently shiver.  His face fell further as he realized she wasn’t radiating nearly as much familiarity as he was.  The touch seemed to surprise her – to get her thinking.  For Cloud, it felt all too natural, while for her, the look in her eyes made it seem like she was being touched by a stranger.  He pulled away, finding it difficult to look into her eyes any longer.

“…but you need to focus on the bomb,” Tifa finished, and Cloud realized time had passed much quicker than he thought.  Quick enough for her to pick up and finish her sentence?  Something about it didn’t feel right, but he nodded anyway.

“R-right.  The bomb.”

“You sure you’ve got it?” Zack asked, and Cloud remembered he was there.  After Cloud hummed his response, Zack nodded and relaxed his shoulders.  “Alright, I’m counting on you, buddy.  Sorry about all the yelling.”  He was wincing, and Cloud nearly felt embarrassment for the both of them at the same time.

“I’m sorry, too,” Cloud mumbled.  Both of them said ‘sorry’, but neither gave the other piece.  No form of “it’s alright” or “I forgive you” or “don’t worry, it’s all good, bud” came afterwards, and it stung.  He couldn’t be bothered to feel bad about it for long, however – he was just as guilty as Zack, and there wasn’t much time left.

Cloud’s breath hitched as he successfully clipped two of the major components back together, hearing a satisfying click as they attached.  Tifa let out a breathy, relieved laugh beside his cheek rather than his ear, and Zack lightly patted him on the back.

“Nice work, SOLDIER.  Now, one piece left.  Think you can do it?”

Cloud smiled, feeling strangely optimistic.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I’ve got this.”  He began replicating his earlier process, fitting the black shell back over the front by hooking the plastic tips into each divot individually.  It was painfully slow, and took a lot of concentration to get right, but it finally finished.  Cloud took a long breath before standing up to attach the bomb to the right spot against the reactor.  After mentally counting down from three, he started the timer, and it beeped as it began. 

7 seconds.

Hold up.  SECONDS?

Cloud rubbed his eye quickly, blinking away anything that could have been in the corner of his eyelids, and the digits on the screen changed from 0:07 to 7:00.  Must have been a weird delay or some kind of input lag.  He brushed it off, grabbing his Fusion Sword off of the metal grated floor.  “We’ve gotta go.”

“No kidding,” Tifa nodded, taking the lead down the hallway.  “Come on, Barret and the others should have gotten an alert on their devices that the bomb is set.  They’ll have plenty of time to get out, and as long as we don’t run into trouble, so will we.”

 Cloud agreed and hurried down the hall with Zack right beside him, but not before reaching behind his neck to wipe off a water droplet that slapped against the bare skin there.  It must have been leftover rainwater from above the plate, right?

“Alright, Cloud, in ya go,” Cid grunted as he felt Cloud’s weight nearly crash into him, despite the girls’ best attempts to make it a slow hand-over.  While the pilot stood in Aerith’s pool with the water coming up to his waist, he held his arms open for Tifa and Yuffie to carefully give him Cloud.  The ex-merc was still very much unconscious, and the sudden feeling of water surrounding his lower half did nothing to wake him.  “Geez, Tifa, you been feeding him extra well lately or something?”

If the situation wasn’t so tense, Tifa would have played along, making a teasing jab at Cloud, which he’d lightly smirk about and respond to with a dry remark.  But, right now he couldn’t, and it felt like her responsibility now to make sure that one day he could.

“Just be glad you’re not also carrying his sword,” Yuffie rolled her eyes.  “That guy and his cursed weapon are never soon parted.”

Tifa quirked her lips slightly.  Maybe to them, that was the case, but not normally at home.  Watching Cloud come home from work each day and gladly rest his sword against the wall until the next morning was always relieving.  It was almost symbolic of having that part of his life put away for just a few hours, so he could take a break from being a delivery boy and sometimes fighting monsters and just be Cloud.

Now he wasn’t strong enough to be any of those.  Darn you, Tifa, you promised you wouldn’t think like that.

“So, how’s this working?” Cid asked.  “We dunk his head under or what?”

Tifa looked to Vincent, who stepped forward, offering his knowledge.  “All it took for the stigma was a light sprinkle.”

Aerith summoned the healing rain for the stigma specifically, Tifa thought begrudgingly.  I hate to admit it, but this could all be for nothing.

Seeming to notice her concern, Yuffie hugged Tifa from the side.  “Hang in there, will ya?  Cloud will be fine, just give the water time to work its magic.  I’m thinking we should dunk him, how about you?” She said the last part so dryly, a bit of amusement trailing off of her tone, and Tifa rolled her eyes.

“At least someone’s finding something to snicker about.”

“Come on, in any other context, this would be the best prank ever.  Imagine taking Cloud from his bed while he’s sleeping, driving him all the way over here, and chucking him into the water.”  Yuffie smirked.  “Oooh!  Or better yet, carry him and the whole mattress in here and let him float around like a sailor boy until he wakes up.”

Tifa thought of mentioning how it was her mattress, too, and she’d appreciate it not getting soaked, but kept it to herself.  With her and Cloud never quite putting into words what they were to each other, it was always easier not to bring it up around others.  At least, for the time being.

“I’m coming in,” Tifa said quickly, forgetting to make any comment on Yuffie’s prank ideas.  She bent down to untie her sneakers and slide them off of her feet, followed by her socks which she kicked off.  To get rid of coverings that would weigh her down in the water, Tifa reached behind herself to remove the short cape that hung down from her waist. 

This was Tifa’s first time in the healing pool.  Without having the stigma herself, it never felt right of her or respectful towards Aerith to get in.  When Cloud had been brought into the water the first time, she’d watched from the edge while some of the townspeople assisted Barret in sprinkling him.  It wasn’t that she was afraid she couldn’t hold him, but that there was a painful boundary placed between them since he left her to fight Geostigma alone.  This was the church that he’d been in for months, sleeping on a tiny cot on the floor with flowers nearby serving as a constant reminder of Aerith.  She’d felt a few drops trickle down his face and down her neck when she’d embraced him after he got out, but that had been all.

That was in the past now.  This time, Tifa was getting in, feeling weighed down to the bottom as she waded over to where Cid was holding Cloud.  She nodded at Cid, offering a warm smile of thanks before grabbing Cloud from one side while he held the other.  Her left hand rested on the surface of Cloud’s back while her right held his bicep, making sure to keep him balanced.  One small mistake or wobble could easily send Cloud face-first underwater.

“We can sprinkle him first,” Tifa spoke quietly, “and if nothing happens, then we’ll bring him under.  Carefully.”

“Of course,” Cid agreed. 

“We can always hope that the investigation at the plant place discovers a cure,” Yuffie pointed out, followed by Vincent shaking his head solemnly.

“It ain’t worth our time,” Cid waved off the idea.  “Whatever they find in that joint has probably been tested by scientists with the IQ of a fifth grader.”

“Still could be used for reference by scientists who are more qualified,” Yuffie shrugged her shoulders.  “They could have at least had the right idea.”

“Maybe, but then a new treatment would require a new cycle of testing,” Vincent drawled.  “I’m not sure Cloud has that kind of time.”

“Can we just…start sprinkling, please?” Tifa shut her eyes, letting out a long sigh.  Her friends were only trying to help.  She felt bad about wanting to tune out their chatter, but the implications of this not working were feeling more and more real as time went on. 

“Alright,” Cid nodded.  “Can you, uh…take his other arm?”

“Sure,” Tifa replied quietly, moving around so she was standing right behind Cloud with one hand on each arm.  She pulled him back to her chest until they were both fully pressed together, and after some hesitation, her chin rested on his shoulder.  She could barely bring herself to care as some of the water poured down Cloud’s head splashed against her face.  Cid used three more handfuls, cupping his hands together and tipping over above Cloud’s head, and then stopped.

“You think it worked?” Yuffie asked.

“I don’t know how we would tell,” Tifa said.  “Not unless he opened his eyes, at least.”

“So we should dunk him, then?” Yuffie asked a bit too enthusiastically, and she shriveled back a bit upon Tifa’s cold stare.  “Poor choice of words.  Sorry.  Should we dip him in, then?”

“Let’s try it,” Tifa nodded, taking initiative before her worry could influence her decision.  Cid silently agreed, taking Cloud’s left arm while she returned to the right.  Carefully, they began dipping him back.  His hair grew damp upon meeting the water, floating flat across the surface before being followed up by the back of his head.  The water passed his ear, just an inch away from his lips-

“Wait,” Tifa exclaimed, shaking her head.  “What if…what if he can’t breathe?”

“Well, it’ll only be for a second,” Cid pointed out.  “If this don’t feel right, then tell me before you do something you’ll regret.”

She watched Cloud’s face, noting his still features, and swallowed hard.  Why was she suddenly having to make so many difficult decisions with his life in the balance?  It felt wrong, but he’d do the same for her, wouldn’t he?  “Okay…I’m ready.”

“On the count of three, okay?” Cid told her, his voice taking on a caring, soft tone she rarely knew him for.  She nodded, and he began.  “One…two…”

“…three,” Tifa finished before letting her arm flex outward, effectively dropping Cloud below the water.  In an instant, she was pulling him back out, pulling him around to see him face to face.  She shook him gently, looking him over for any reaction, but finding nothing had changed.  “It didn’t work…”

“I wouldn’t go that far just yet,” Yuffie gasped, pointing down to Cloud’s waist where his arm hung limp previously.  Now, his fingers began to curl inwards and then flex back out, brushing briefly against Tifa’s hip. 

“Cloud.” Tifa failed to hold back a relived laugh, taking that hand in her own and feeling his fingers slowly curl around hers.  His face contorted a bit, his eyebrows lowering down – seemingly in concentration – and his jaw tightened.  His eyes hadn’t yet opened, but it was him.  “Open your eyes for me, alright?  Please, Cloud, just…give me a sign.”  She squeezed his hand, grateful to feel him squeezing back, but the most he could manage was a small groan. 

“Take your time, pal, we’ll get ya out of this water first,” Cid muttered to Cloud, leading him along on one side while Tifa took the other.  Vincent and Yuffie both stood at the edge, slowly taking Cloud from the previous two and resting him onto his back on the floor. 

“Against the wall,” Tifa requested, her voice growing thin.  She stepped out of the pool quickly, patting down the front of her shorts, and hurried to Cloud’s side.  Vincent gently rested Cloud upright with his back to the wall, allowing the blonde to breathe more easily.  At his left, Tifa took Cloud’s hand again, but this time he squeezed more lightly.  His face began relaxing again, beginning to replicate his sleeping expression from before, and Tifa’s heart sank.  “He’s in there.  He’s in there.”

“He is,” Cid nodded, kneeling down to place a hand on Tifa’s shoulder.  “Don’t doubt yourself, sis.  If you saw him, then you saw him.  He’s just waiting for you to pull him back.”

“I don’t know how,” Tifa sighed.  “But…it’s progress.”  Her eyes glanced upward, settling on the hole in the roof that illuminated the church.  “I think I understand, Aerith.  You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”

“You can really talk to her?” Yuffie asked, her eyebrows raising.

“’Talking’ may not be the most fitting word for it,” Tifa shook her head.  “More like…feeling something.”

“Whatever the hell that means,” Cid laughed it off.  “Definitely gotta hand it to that sweet flower girl, though.  She’s still got our backs after all this time.”

“Mhm,” Tifa agreed, her attention returning to Cloud.  “I think she’s done what she can for him.  Aerith got him started, and it’s our job to do the rest.”

“And that means what?” Yuffie snorted.

Tifa’s mouth opened to respond, but she quickly closed it instead, pondering an answer for a while.  “The botanists said that the Materia is messing with Cloud’s mind so accurately that he might think whatever he sees is real.  Like a super realistic nightmare or a vision.”

“Trippy,” Yuffie commented.

“Maybe the Lifestream isn’t enough to trigger his real memories,” Tifa continued, narrowing her eyes in thought.  “But it was enough to open the door for something or someone else.  This isn’t the first time I’ve had to piece him together.”  She laughed bitterly, thinking back on the strange atmosphere she’d found herself in years prior after entering Cloud’s subconscious.  “Last time, what I did was go through his most important memories, one at a time, and eventually we unleashed all of the parts of his personality that were messed up or locked away.”

“But if we aren’t physically in his head, how are we supposed to do any of that?” Cid asked.

“We’ll still give him a reminder,” Tifa nodded.  “Just…from the outside.  It’s the only way I can think of.  Play music, tell stories, give him as much detail as possible.  Maybe surround him with familiar people, and if he eventually opens his eyes, he’ll be able to see them, too.”

“You got that all from a feeling?” Vincent asked, sounding surprised as well.

“Some from a feeling, some from experience,” Tifa answered somewhat cryptically, but a small smirk played at the corner of her lips.  “We should get him back to the bar.  You think you can tag along, Cid?”

“How couldn’t I?  You have my vehicle.”

Chapter Text

Cloud continued to be distracted by strange sensations as he finally followed Zack and Tifa back into the city streets and away from the reactor.  Barret, Jessie, and the others were further ahead, already making their way to the train back to the slums, but Zack requested that the three of them take a quick break.

“Here I am,” Cloud voiced aloud, not really realizing it.  “Another bench.”

“What’s that?” Zack asked, eagerly taking a seat on the end to the right.  Cloud shook his head, not feeling any desire to explain, and sat beside him.  He scooted closer to the man just a bit, and Tifa flashed a grateful smile before sitting at his left. 

“Oh, geez,” she whispered, hanging her head back as the weight of what they’d done became that much more real.  Cloud looked to her for specifics, but nothing came.  With her eyes shut tightly, she asked, to no one in particular, “Was that right?”

Zack shifted uncomfortably, inadvertently bumping his elbow into Cloud’s rib.  “It’s like Barret said, right?  This is a train we can’t get off of…or something like that.”

She laughed softly.  “Something like that.”  After a quiet moment, she added, “But did we get on the right one?”

Cloud hesitated in his answer.  “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.”  The words felt familiar, and he wondered if Tifa had picked up on it as well.  “I know it’s all about hurting Shinra, but it wouldn’t hurt to take smaller steps.  Get more comfortable with your methods at your own pace.”

He felt Tifa’s bare shoulder brush his own, and noticed her eyes fall to his left hand which clutched the edge of the bench seat.  He really wasn’t sure why he was holding so tightly, getting white knuckles as if he was afraid he’d fly off if he didn’t.  Water fell on his neck again, but he didn’t bother looking up this time.

Tifa started to say something, but was interrupted – intentional or not – by Zack’s far less hesitant and hushed voice.  Clapping a hand on Cloud’s back, he asked, “Where’s that all coming from, huh?”

Cloud felt something catch in his throat.  “The guy who set the bomb.”  He noticed Zack’s face fill with concern out of the corner of his eye, but more pressing issues came to mind.  Cloud straightened, looking over Tifa’s head at the reactor in the distance.  “It should have gone off by now.  Something must have happened.”

“Really?” Tifa asked, unable to hide a bit of relief in her tone.  For her sake, Cloud wanted to be right.  She was looking across the street at the reactor, too, her own fingers drumming against the bench seat’s edge just a few centimeters from where Cloud’s hand was making similar instinctive movements.  “Well…” she paused, realizing she sounded somewhat raspy.  “Well, maybe it’s a sign.  Maybe you were right about taking small steps.”  She was smiling halfheartedly, and Cloud found it in himself to nod.

“Yeah.”

“Hang on, won’t Shinra just find the bomb in there?” Zack pointed out.  “Is there anything on it that could track it back to Avalanche?”

“No,” Tifa answered quickly, and Cloud assumed that meant she’d already considered this before.  “Just a generic design.  Grey shell, grey components…yeah, we should be fine.  Shinra has more enemies than they like to admit.”

“Sooooo are we still getting paid?” Zack asked hesitantly, still smirking, and Tifa gave him an incredulous look.

“Talk to Barret about that, this was his job anyway.”  Her head lowered, and she sighed.  “He’ll want to try this again some other time, no doubt.  Maybe I…maybe I’ll sit that one out.”

“You should,” Cloud nodded, surprising himself with just how far he was willing to have a say in her decisions.  He didn’t sound like a longtime friend who occasionally visited and sometimes came along on sabotage missions.  Instead, he sounded like a close companion or even family member, giving Tifa advice as if he did so all the time.  She appeared grateful for the support, though, which lifted Cloud’s spirits.

“I’ll take your word for it, then,” she agreed.  “I wanna get back at Shinra just like anyone else, but…I don’t know, maybe I’ll just stick to bartending for now.”

Zack tilted his head.  “You are pretty good at that.”

“Don’t fall for his brownnosing, he’s looking for free drinks,” Cloud joked, his voice dry.  Tifa laughed beside him while Zack placed a hand on his chest, mocking shock.  “It’s not a joke, though,” Cloud folded his arms, a smirk present on his lips.  “It worked on Aerith, didn’t it?”

“Flowers, not drinks, but yeah,” Zack rolled his eyes.  “Somehow, I find myself in need of one more often than the other.”

“Didn’t think you loved her flowers that much,” Cloud felt smug.

“You’re hilarious.”

Tifa was still laughing for a bit, amused by the two’s banter, and then it slowly went away.  “I don’t think I’ve met Aerith before.”

Cloud’s head shot up.  Um…what?

“I guess not,” Zack nodded.  “We’ll have to bring her with us next time we visit the bar, then.  She’s heard plenty about you from Cloud, though.”

Cloud barely noticed the playful jab from Zack, or the flush of red that briefly dusted Tifa’s cheeks.  She had met Aerith.  She had to have.  Cloud pictured some kind of cold dungeon.  Tifa was there, dressed in a short indigo dress, while Aerith was at his other side in red.  Soft murmurs of bodyguards and shopping trips teased his ear again.

“She was there when we cornered Corneo,” Cloud exclaimed, whipping his head around to look Tifa in the eye.  “You and her were all dressed up, wearing dresses and…and I think I was, too,” his eyes narrowed, surprised but not uncertain as the realization hit him.

She giggled.  “You?  In a dress?  I don’t think…well, I don’t know how I would process that.”  Still, she seemed worried.  “But I’ve never even met Corneo in person, Cloud.  Are you remembering someone else?”

“No,” Cloud’s voice raised.  Why didn’t she believe him?  Why was nothing adding up?  “It was you.  I know it was, and Aerith was there.  You went undercover alone, and we snuck in to rescue you.”

“What?”

“Cloud, buddy,” Zack sighed, standing to his feet.  “We should head back to the apartment.  You need some rest.  You gonna be alright heading back to the bar on your own, Tifa?”

She nodded.  “Yes, I’ll just hurry on ahead and catch up with Barret.”

“Wait, no!” Cloud stood to his feet as well, positioning himself between Zack and Tifa and holding out a hand to keep her from leaving the bench.  “I’m not making this up, I swear.”

“Even if you’re right, why is it such a big deal?” Zack asked.  “No need to freak out about it.”

“Because I’m not going to feel okay until I get to the bottom of this.  Why am I remembering things that no one else is?”

“How would we know?” Zack countered.

“Open your eyes for me, alright?” The other Tifa’s voice was in Cloud’s ear again, and he froze under the sudden closeness.  “Please, Cloud, just…give me a sign.”  He suddenly felt fingers intertwining with his own, but when he looked down, there was nothing there.  Still, he could feel the hand there, making the scene even stranger.  For a moment, he felt like he was underwater, and there was an unmistakable weight gluing his feet to the ground. 

“He’s in there.  He’s in there.”

“I am,” Cloud confirmed, not sure to whom.  Suddenly, the world seemed to warp itself around him, the scenery of Midgar becoming filled with flames and smoke.  Distant screams filled his ears, taking the spot of Tifa’s voice, and Zack was pulling Cloud along.

“Come on, we’ve gotta help them!”

“Help who?” Cloud asked, looking around.  His hand grasped the hilt of his Fusion Sword, ready to attack whoever had done this, and Zack didn’t answer.  Instead, the man let go of Cloud’s arm and ran on ahead, disappearing in the thick smoke.  Eyes widening in fear, Cloud tried to catch up, but he soon found himself running in circles as grey plumes surrounded him from all sides.

He felt to his knees, coughing into his arm.  He’d lost Zack and left Tifa behind, and as he reached for his sword again, he realized that it was gone.  Panicked, Cloud wrapped his fingers around thin air a few more times in disbelief.  Nothing made sense anymore.  In an instant, the world was on fire and Cloud was without a weapon.

“Barret, thank goodness you’re here,” Cloud heard Tifa’s voice again.  It was far off, echoing in the distance.

“Marlene, Denzel, stay there for a moment, okay?  Give Cloud his space, he…he’s not doing so hot.”

“What?” Cloud asked, looking down at his hands.  He could hear her talking about him, speaking to Marlene and…Denzel.  Of course, how could he forgotten the boy?  He must have been waiting back at the bar for him, hoping earnestly that Cloud hadn’t ran off on the family again-

Wait, how could I have forgotten?  Cloud’s world seemed to come crashing down, vivid memories of a stigma infecting his arm and Tifa’s voicemails flooding his phone rushing to the forefront of his mind.  Feeling like a failure, feeling useless, like he couldn’t protect anyone, including himself.  The way Tifa’s tone grew more and more concerned each time she’d leave a message until almost tearing up once out of frustration that he never called her back.  The responsibility he felt for Denzel and the guilt that followed.  Sleeping on a dusty, wooden floor while thinking to himself that death was just around the corner.

“You came back, Cloud…” Tifa’s voice came to his ear again.  “Remember?  For me and the kids.  You came back.”

“…you came back,” Tifa spoke softly, sitting on the edge of the bed while her hands played with Cloud’s hair after finally drying it.  “You know, people were telling me I was stupid for holding onto you for so long.  I’d leave voicemail after voicemail and I guess it was just the idea that you still listened to them that kept me going.  I snapped at you pretty good when we were finally back here together, though.”  She laughed gently.  “I said that while you never picked up the phone, you never threw it away, either.  You were still holding on in your own way, I guess.  I was just so frustrated that life was so complicated.  That we were so complicated.  I started thinking that I was forever cursed to never have a normal life or family.”

Tifa sighed, her fingers stilling.  “I still feel that hurt sometimes, but I have to remember that you work so hard every day to make up for all that.  That for my sake and maybe your own as well, you’ve been trying to change.”  She smiled.  “I never would have guessed that our roles would be flipped and you’d be the one calling me on the phone first.  We’ve both come a long way, huh?”

Cloud mumbled something indiscernible, still unable to open his eyes, but it was enough for Tifa.  “I’m glad you can at least hear me.  The others all went home for the night after trying to talk to you themselves.  We had…mixed results.  You kicked your foot up just slightly when Barret mentioned Johnny from back in the slums.  It was kinda funny.”  Tifa’s smile faltered, and after a moment, she buried her face in her hands.  “I start talking to you for so long, and then I feel silly about it.  Bringing up familiar memories seems to be doing something, but…I don’t know, I guess most of the time it’s like I’m talking to myself.”

Cloud’s lips slowly moved.  “I’m…in here…”

Tifa dipped her head, brushing away tears brimming at her eyes.  “I know, Cloud.  I know, and I’m doing all I can to get you back, I promise.”

She could hear him.  Cloud felt ecstatic, looking up to the sky as if that was where the voice was coming from.  His lips moved to say something else, but nothing came out.  Frustrated, Cloud sat back down on the pavement and listened to her talk. 

“Remember when you woke up in the pool in Aerith’s church?  And we were all there to support you?”

Of course he did.  It was still one of the clearest memories he had.  He could see her smiling at him again.

“You have no idea how relieved I felt that day.  You had already come back to stop Kadaj and his gang, but after the stigma was cured…I felt like I really had you back, y’know?”

He did.  He had felt the same about her and the kids.  Felt like he no longer had to distance himself from them.  No longer needed to push away those who cared about him the most.

“It’s one of those moments I keep coming back to,” Tifa admitted from wherever her voice originated from.  “Something tells me you’re the same way.”

Yeah.  Yeah, he was.  Cloud picked himself off the floor, looking around through all the smoke.  Somehow, he needed to get to her.  The other Tifa – the Tifa he could see – was left behind somewhere at the bench.  Did he need to get to her, too?  Was she even real?  Zack was long gone now, and another memory hit him.

Zack was dying, handing his Buster Sword to Cloud in his last few moments. 

“I am your living legacy.”

Those were his words.  Cloud Strife had said that not long ago, when he had his back against the wall, standing alone with sword in hand and blood staining his face and-

Sephiroth.

Long silver hair framed the face of the man Cloud hated the most.  Sephiroth walked out of the smoke and fog with his long blade piercing through just ahead of him.  His tall, imposing build got Cloud to stumble backward, his own hand once again reaching for a Fusion Sword that wasn’t there.

“Bombing a reactor, were we?” Sephiroth spoke amusedly. 

“Didn’t think you’d care,” Cloud gritted his teeth.  Without a weapon, he’d have to fall back on hand-to-hand combat.  Both fists held out in front of his chest, clenched tightly.  “I thought you hated Shinra, anyway.”

“I do,” Sephiroth nodded.  “I wasn’t opposing your idea, just found it humorous that you messed it up.”

“Laugh all you want, I’m starting to see the bigger picture here,” Cloud’s eyes narrowed, making sure to occasionally glance down at Sephiroth’s sword.  It was held casually, not even in a readied stance, but with a range like that, Sephiroth hardly had to try. 

“And what is that?”

“This isn’t real.  Zack is dead, and so are you.” The words came out spiteful and cold, but as expected, it hardly affected Sephiroth.  “And why are you here, anyway?” Cloud went on.  “I remember you saying something about never being a memory.  Seems you’ve wound up in my mind, after all.”

“A pocket like this offers no straightforward answer,” Sephiroth drawled cryptically, glancing up at the sky.  “No one, not even the two of us, could truly understand the full nature of this place your mind has constructed.  You’re not in your thoughts, you’re in your dreams.”  Sephiroth spoke the last word with a small laugh following after.  “As you know, dreams are very unpredictable.”

“If this was a dream, I would just wake up,” Cloud shook his head, trying to decipher what angle Sephiroth was playing at.  Instead of fighting, the enemy was acting as a tool for information.  Nothing seemed right here, but Sephiroth was one of the biggest offences.

“Waking up is only half the process,” he argued.  Turning his ear to the sky, Sephiroth added, “You hear her, don’t you?  She’s calling you home.  Calling you back to the bar.”

“How would you know?” Cloud lashed out.  “If I had a sword, I would-“

“Kill me,” Sephiroth finished bluntly.  “Or at least, attempt to.  But we’ve done this dance before, have we not?  You know it deep down; killing me here in this dream would accomplish nothing.”

“It’d get you to leave me alone,” Cloud countered.

Ignoring him, Sephiroth grinned.  “She’s fighting so hard to get you back, Cloud.  Don’t you want to go home?  Don’t you want to see her again?”

“Of course I do, what kind of question is that?”

“How far are you willing to go?” he asked, and before Cloud could ask anything further, a figure walked out from the fog to stand beside Sephiroth.  Tifa – or at least, what looked like Tifa – approached Cloud with slumped shoulders and lowered eyes.  Cloud opened his mouth to question her, but she was already walking into him, burying her face in his shoulder.

“To leave this dream behind, you have to overcome it,” Sephiroth explained.  With a slight tilt of his blade, he added, “Throw it aside.”

Quickly picking up on the hidden meaning, Cloud’s eyes widened and he clutched not-Tifa tighter.  “I won’t kill her.”

“You’ll have to kill me, too,” Sephiroth shrugged.  “At least you have that to look forward to.  And besides, she’s not real.  You said so yourself.”

Cloud felt unsure.  Tifa tilted her head up, making eye contact, and he melted.  It looked and felt just like her.

“There won’t be any needless pain about it as long as you don’t trick yourself into thinking she’s anything more than an illusion,” Sephiroth reminded him, but it didn’t make it feel any better.  “Don’t tell me you’re doubting yourself already.”

Cloud shook his head.  “No, I…”

“Then finish it quickly.  Tifa’s done everything else for you.  Now, she’s counting on you to take the last step.”  Sephiroth took a step towards Cloud, and the ex-merc changed his position, getting between the man and Tifa. 

“Stay behind me,” he ordered her, knowing how much it would hurt things later.

“She’s not real, Cloud,” Sephiroth repeated.  “Why is it so hard to grasp?”

She was grasping at his shirt from behind, breathing shakily.  “Cloud…don’t listen to him.  Remember what he did.”

Not amused in the slightest, Sephiroth cleared his throat.  “What I did is irrelevant here.  I’m not real, either.”

“Then…why am I listening to you?”

“A good question, to which I have no answer.”

“I hate you.”

“Anything new to add?”

Cloud turned away, shutting his eyes.  He felt Tifa looking at him over his shoulder, her eyes filled with hurt and confusion, but he pushed it all away.  It wasn’t her.  The voice in his ear hadn’t come from her, but from somewhere else.  The real Tifa was in the bar.  Waiting.

Cloud and Tifa’s bedroom was quiet.  With the window slightly opened, a soft breeze flew inside the room, pushing through the spikes of Cloud’s hair.  Tifa was asleep beside him, her head resting in the crook of his neck while she wrapped on arm around his waist.  She hadn’t bothered to check the time when she finally gave in and took a break from talking to him, but it had no doubt been early in the morning. 

Eventually, she stirred, yawning softly as morning sunlight spread across her face.  “’Mornin’, Cloud.”  She didn’t expect a response, but the progress she’d made throughout the night was enough to keep her spirits from dropping into a hole.  She could get him to squeeze her hand still, and in addition his occasional grunts and grumbles, he now whispered a few words every so often.

It was the words themselves that worried Tifa.  Zack, bench, Sephiroth, sword, kill her.  Among other things, these seemed to be the ones Cloud repeated the most, and she wished he could explain them to her. 

Tifa looked down at herself, shaking her head as she was reminded that she never even took the time to get out of her day clothes.  Falling asleep had been more of a sudden urge she gave into rather than following routine, so using Cloud as a second pillow hadn’t exactly been planned from the start.  She gently pushed herself away, feeling bad for using him as such when in his present state, and went to start the day.

Cloud grumbled something under his breath, and Tifa gasped, whipping back around.  “Cloud?”  She leaned forward on the bed, watching his face, and after some struggle, she finally met his eyes.  She hadn’t expected them to make her so happy.  “Cloud, you’re awake?”  She hated to turn it into a question, but it was necessary.  “Can you see me?”

Cloud’s eyes scanned all over her face, taking her in, and he nodded.  “I can see you.”

A half sob-half laugh passed from her mouth, and she embraced him.  “And you can talk, too.  Are you alright?”

His hands jostled around a bit before he reached around to hug her back.  “Y-yeah.  I’m fine, just…I feel like I’ve seen and done so much.”

“Yeah?” Tifa pulled back a bit, waiting for him to explain further. 

“Tifa, something happened in my head.  I don’t know if I trapped myself or if it was someone else’s doing…I don’t know, it just all felt wrong.”

She frowned, looking him over.  “It was the Materia.  You’ve missed a lot.”

“I’ll bet,” he chuckled, attempting to sit up.  “A little help?”

“Sure,” she nodded, but as soon as he was seated upright, he clutched his head in his hands.  “Hey, just take all the time you need.  Sounds like it messed you up pretty bad.”

“I’ll be fine once I get walking around.”

“Walking?  Oh no, mister, let’s take baby steps, please.”

He cocked a brow.  “Was I really that helpless?”

“Only a bit,” she teased, getting off of him.  “You should just relax here while I make you some breakfast, alright?  Pancakes sound good?”

He nodded.  “Really good, yeah.”

“Oh, and I’ll call our friends to let them know you’re awake.  They’ve done a lot to help you out, y’know.”

“So have you.”

She paused, biting her bottom lip.  “So you did hear me.”

“You weren’t sure?”

“Well, I wanted to be sure,” Tifa nodded, and she found herself rolling over to lie beside Cloud again.  “You started reacting to some of the things I said, so I held onto hope that you heard me.  I’m really glad you did.”

Cloud appeared thoughtful, glancing out the window for a moment.  “In there, everything seemed perfectly normal at first.  I would have continued living in that lie for as long as it took to realize the inconsistencies.”  He looked back at Tifa, smiling a bit.  “When I started hearing your voice, I figured the thing I should do is go find you.”

“And you did?”

“Someone who looked a lot like you, at least,” Cloud grumbled.  “At the old bar.”

“You…you were back there?  Er, then, I mean?”

“Not sure why, but yeah,” Cloud sighed.  “Everything seemed perfect for a while.  Eventually, though, it didn’t even take noticing things weren’t real to start longing for the life I have here.”  He laughed softly, thinking back.  “We were just friends who occasionally saw each other on weekends.  Maybe I would be fine with it then, but I couldn’t imagine it now.”

“Me neither,” Tifa agreed.  “How’d you get back here, anyway?  Did…did my words last night give you the final push?”

“As far as they could go, at least,” Cloud rubbed the back of his neck.  “I guess it had to be my choice to come back.  I was given an ultimatum.”

“And what was that?”

Cloud seemed pained, not wanting to admit the truth.  She squeezed his hand like she had before, and the touch seemed to reassure him.  “I…killed you, I guess.  The other you.  I didn’t have a sword or anything.  I just shut my eyes, waved my hand, and it was all over.”

“What does something like that even mean?”

“That I had to fully trust that the real you was out here waiting for me,” Cloud answered confidently.  “As long as there was an illusion wearing your face, I was hesitating.  With a wave of my hand, she was gone.”

“That sounds…painful.”

“It was, for a moment.”  Cloud left it at that for a while, and a comforting silence hung between them for a bit.  “You said something about breakfast?”

“Have some patience,” Tifa rolled her eyes.  She leaned into him, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek.  “Pancakes coming right up.”  He turned his face a bit, and she rolled with it, leaving her next kiss on his lips.

He hummed contentedly, kissing back gently.  “I’ve got you for good this time, don’t I?”

“Mhm.  You’ll have me forever, if it’s what you want.”

“If it’s what we both want,” Cloud corrected.  “I’m guessing the answer is yes?”

Tifa laughed at his expression, noting the almost childlike hope dancing in his eyes.  “Of course it is, you dork.”