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Gakushuu didn’t like looking at his reflection or photos of himself.
He never said something about it, but Ren is sure that he isn’t imagining things.
It’s subtle, but there are too many incidents pointing to this conclusion.
For one, there was the fact that Gakushuu has never even spared a look at all the newspaper articles and posts featuring his most recent success with a picture.
Everyone always thought it was just because he was too busy, after all, middle school was the most stressful time for Gakushuu. It was the time where his father’s expectations grew to unreasonable heights, slowly eating away at him.
Trying to destroy every independent thought he had disagreeing with his father’s ideologies, turning him into a piece in the principal’s own personal game.
But their relationship got better. It was far from perfect, or even good, Ren knew that, but it wasn’t so unhealthy anymore.
Since they started high school Gakushuu got more relaxed and spent more time with his friends, even stopped some of his many extracurriculars.
But he still ignored every mention of his achievements accompanied by a photograph of him.
But that wasn’t the only thing.
Ren could understand that all these pictures would probably mean nothing to Gakushuu. He knew he was good at many things; he didn’t need the acknowledgement of the press for that.
This ignoring continued on to the photographs of their friend group, even their couple pictures.
And despite Gakushuu’s cold and seemingly uncaring exterior, Ren knew he cared more for every single person close to him than anyone else.
It wasn’t as if Gakushuu completely disregarded these pictures; he looked at them, commented on the events depicted in them, but he never looked at himself. He always skipped himself, answering with a short, disinterested word if someone talked about the Gakushuu in the photo.
Maybe Ren wouldn’t have noticed it or would have just thought that his friend doesn’t like pictures, if it wasn’t for the strange things he noticed as Gakushuu stayed at his house more often.
But he saw how Gakushuu avoided every mirror in his house. He rarely looked at them, just when it was necessary.
Otherwise he would try to position himself in a way that his back was turned towards the mirror, no matter if it meant sitting or standing in a much more uncomfortable way.
Ren can’t say he wasn’t curious why all of this was the case, but he didn’t want to pry.
They may be a couple, but he also knew how unfamiliar all of this was for both of them. For Gakushuu even more than for him.
“Araki told me the pictures of the school festival this year are online.”
Ren looked up from his book and walked to Gakushuu, who started his laptop.
“I’d be surprised if they got some decent shots. The weather was awful,” Ren hummed before taking a chair and sitting down next to the other.
“Araki knows what he’s doing. And I heard they’ve got some really talented first years.”
Gakushuu entered the school website and soon they looked through the pictures.
Sometimes they would pause and talk about them. As part of the student council there were more than enough photos of their entire friend group.
After these came the photographs of the different attractions and stalls.
“The crepes from 2-C were great. We should ask them for the recipe,” Ren said after seeing a picture depicting the long waiting line in front of the booth.
“We should. 3-D’s haunted house was also quite successful. What a shame that they’re already graduating this year. We have to ask them where they got their props from.”
They continued scrolling through the photographs until they reached the ones of Gakushuu’s performance. After having tried something different in their first year of high school, their class, 2-A, had decided to absolve Gakushuu from his tasks for their class and let him perform again.
In middle school he alone was one of the biggest attractions, playing his guitar and singing, so it would be a waste to not let him do it again.
After all, the collected money was for their own education and charity.
“Scroll a few pictures back.”
Gakushuu looked at him and went back a few pictures.
“Which one?”
“Here, this one,” said Ren, pointing at a photo of Gakushuu playing the guitar.
“That’s a great picture. Your performance at the school festival was breathtaking,” he hummed.
Ren wasn’t lying when he said that he could still feel the goosebumps thinking back to the performance.
“Yeah, thanks.”
Gakushuu looked away and continued to scroll through the pictures.
There it was. He didn’t even really look at it, just listened to what Ren had to say.
It bugged him, and he wanted to know why Gakushuu acted like this. Yet at the same time Ren feared he would overstep a boundary, making Gakushuu build up his high walls again, the ones he just recently started to break down.
But he cared about his partner, and his curiosity got the better of him.
“Gakushuu?” he started carefully.
The other hummed questioningly and looked at Ren.
“I,” he hesitated, taking a deep breath, “I was just wondering about, you know, you don’t have to answer me, but why don’t you, I mean, why are you avoiding pictures of yourself? And reflections?”
Ren got more quiet as his rambling went on. Gakushuu’s gaze felt uncomfortable, and he regretted even bringing up the topic.
The other closed his eyes and sighed.
“Sorry, you really don’t have to tell me.”
Gakushuu waved with one hand and looked at him again.
“It’s fine, Ren. I know you’re just worried,” he said. “It’s just, I,” Gakushuu looked as if he contemplated what to say.
“I think it’s easier if I show it to you,” he stood up and walked towards the big mirror in the room. Ren followed him until he could see both of their reflections.
Gakushuu glared at his and talked again.
“I look just like him.”
“Sorry, what?” Ren raised one eyebrow.
“The princi-, I mean my father. Every time I look at myself, I just see him. I hate it…”
Gakushuu looked away again.
“I know, it’s stupid. It just feels as if he’s haunting me.”
Ren couldn’t deny the uncanny resemblance Gakushuu had to his father. Sure, they are related, but it was still scary how much they looked like the other.
From their hair colour and eye colour, down to their facial expressions and stature, they could be confused if it weren’t for the age gap.
He could still remember the conspiracy theories in middle school about Gakushuu being secretly a clone of the principal.
“It’s not stupid,” he reassured him, taking his hands.
Their relationship got better, but Ren understood that it was hard for Gakushuu. The other one still called his father principal and spent most of his time at Ren’s house, avoiding his parent.
All of these years aren’t easy to forget.
Ren hummed, pondering how he could help his friend.
“What about dying your hair?”
“What?” Gakushuu looked at him.
“I mean, we can’t really do anything about your stature or eye colour, but you could dye your hair. It’s not the perfect solution, but you wouldn’t look so alike anymore.”
“The principal would kill me.”
“Oh, he would be absolutely furious.”
Gakushuu smiled at him.
“Then let’s do it.”
Ren grinned back, glad that he could cheer up his partner.
Did he think that Gakushuu’s strawberry-blonde hair was gorgeous? Yes.
Would he look breathtaking with any other hair colour? Absolutely.
And if it would make him feel better, Ren would fully support him.
“What colour do you want?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Gakushuu said and grimaced. “Not blond. Bad memories.”
“Alright. We would need something that’s not similar to your current hair colour…”
A few hours later they are standing in front of the mirror again.
Gakushuu stared at the stranger with black hair.
“Do you like it?” Ren asked.
“If not, we could always try something different.”
“No, I love it,” Gakushuu smiled, tugging on his blackened hair strands.
“Thank you, Ren.”
He looked at him with a sincere look.
“Everything for you.”
Ren smiled and kissed Gakushuu.
“You look great.”