Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Donut smiles as he finishes harvesting the carrots. Proudly he rests the small basket he'd woven together on his hip. Finally getting a chance to stand again, Donut relishes the feeling of blood rushing to his toes again. He looks up towards the cliff sides. Carefully he keeps his eyes leveled with the trees on top of them. It was the best sight he get without the sun blinding him. Those gorgeous, giant trees. Donut takes a deep breath. Fresh air mixing with the scents of veggies, and tree sap fill his nose. Standing still he tries to commit it all to memory. If he's lucky this would be one of the moments he relives during his final breaths.

A sharp pain fills his head. It strikes out of nowhere and is gone before he can react. With it comes the memories. All the moments he's relived just in the last few jumps alone. Donut was used to jumping by now. As he looks back up at the trees the red realizes he's not sure where he's at right now. He quickly looks around taking in the empty land. Only a tiny shack nearby and a garden at his feet. When was this?

Donut drops the basket of carrots and walks towards the shack. He starts moving slowly. His eyes still taking in everything. From the places of squished grass where he used to stand barefoot to do yoga, to the sign Doc had made for their home. Well, the place that used to be their home. Before he knew it he was running. The soft soil of the garden give way to firm ground that stops sinking under his armor.

"Donut do you have those carrots yet?" He freezes and looks back at the loosely woven basket. 

"Yeah Doc!" He runs back over. His hands scramble to get all the carrots back into the basket. Quickly he attempts to wipe dirt off of each before dropping them back in. With a huff Donut picks the basket back up. He runs back over to the shack.

"Hey Doc what does the calendar say?" If he was right then it would be,

"Oh, looks like it's Valentine's day."

Yes! This was their first and really last peaceful Valentines together. Just like a light switch going off he remembers everything about this day. "Maybe we should do something."

"Re-really? I didn't think you'd want to celebrate it because it's just the two of us here."

"Are you kidding? Sarge would barely let me decorate the base but this shack is ours!" He wraps his arms around Doc's next. Gently rubbing his head against Doc's helmet. "We can do anything we'd want."

"Yeah," Doc's voice was barely audible. Donut hadn't noticed back then that it had taken him a moment to gather his courage. "Yeah, we can!" He shouts this time a light gleaming in his eyes.

"Hey Doc," A part of him wants to push the lines. It wants him to sit down and have an honest conversation that the two of them didn't get when they were fighting each other. Before he, well it didn't matter. The whys, the waits, the I love yous he never said, none of it mattered now. Donut releases his grip on Frank's shoulders. It's selfish to cause another break just to figure out if this day was as important to him as it was for Donut.

"Donut?" Doc's eyes look at him with a pitiful pleading look.

"It's nothing." Donut walks away. "So what are we having for dinner tonight?"

"Well I could make some sort of vegetable dish. We haven't been able to grow much else in the garden."

"Hey as long as it's home-cooked then that's perfect. I'll help you out."

"Thanks. Can you wash them?"

"Of course! Oh and I found some extra oil for Lopez in case his head starts making that weird clanking noise again." He didn't even remember that happening until he'd already said it. Maybe it gotten easier to fall back into the routine of these moments. He has done a lot of this lately.

"Oh, thanks man! I'm sure Lopez will love that. You know, once we get him working again."

"Yeah. Man, I wish he was working already. Then he could just tell us what was causing that sound. Now we gotta go with guesswork and hope we are oiling up the right parts."

"Yeah it is a bit difficult but we've managed so far!" and they would continue to manage. It's funny how eagerly Doc agrees. Time has changed his memory of the old way he used to be. When Donut thinks back he remembers Doc being timid, scared, gloomy. Always struggling to keep going from one crazy moment to the next. Was that just his Doc? Did he just stop noticing the brighter moments as time went on?

"That's true."

It didn't take long for Doc to decide the best thing to make was a vegetable soup. He boiled some freshwater from the running river outside the shack. When it was ready he cut the vegetables and allowed them to marinate within the water.

"Hey Doc," the other man glances up nervously from his plate. That was one thing Donut didn't miss. Doc used to be so scared of everything. Just because the other reds and blues had been awful didn't mean he was. Then again he has caused his fair share of problems for blue team. "Thanks for the meal. It's absolutely delicious!" He makes sure to tilt his head to the side and offer his biggest smile. Just like he had done before. The only difference this time are the thoughts swimming in his head, and the emotions threatening to boil over and come unwelcomingly spilling out.

When Doc's anxious expression is replaced with an honest, relieved smile Donut once again fights back an onslaught of emotions. How many more moments did they have like this? Did they stick out in Doc's mine the way they always stood out in his? Was it only his heart that felt calmer when they were together?

He was so lost in thought that he almost forgot his next line. Hoping that it wasn't too late, Donut takes a deep breath to calm down. When he exhales he pretends to be blowing on a spoonful of soup. As happily as he could muster he says, "At least we're in Valhalla, right?"

Doc's smile is small but it's free from all the pressure that will be there in the future. All the realizations that he is a true outsider. He smiles sadly back down at his food. It was clear nothing about this moment had been messed with by Genkins. He should take off and find the next one quickly, but a part of him wanted to stay. Knowing better Donut does. He can be a little bit selfish. Besides tonight was the best one.

Chapter Text

Why Simmons wasn't gone yet Church wasn't sure. He'd thought his phase of running away from red team was over after the first time. Yet anytime Sarge showed favoritism to either of his teammates Simmons came running over here. Not that it did him much good. Typically they just forced his ass to sleep on the couch and stay out of their way. Though it did give Caboose someone new to play with. That's nice. Right now though he was groaning on the couch, curled up on his side in the fetal position.

"Why isn't he gone yet?" Church points at him with his empty blue coffee cup with '#1 BF = Best Friend' written poorly in marker on it's side.

"I don't know Church. This is your base."

"Oh really Tex? I had no idea since you've taken over everything the moment you got here!"

"Hey I made things better. Without me Tucker would still be pissing on the bathroom floor."

He was going to deny it, but he still cringes from the memories of cleaning up after that asshole. He didn't use the restroom anymore but the smell always snuffed up his nose back in his human body. It was a fucking nuisance. "Alright that was nice. Thanks for that."

"Your welcome. All it took was promising to have new porn mags delivered to his room every week."

"Wait what?" Texas leans back in her chair resting her feet on top of the table. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Said something about not being able to wake up properly in the morning without them. Apparently that's what was causing his poor aim. If you believe him that is."

Church groans before sitting back down at the table. That sounds like something Tucker would say. There's a pretty fat chance of it actually being true though. Asshole probably just made it up. Then he got so scared of Tex breaking his dick he actually started aiming.  Going to rub his forehead Church's fingers hit uselessly against his helmet. He sits down across from Tex. With a loud "Ugh" he lets his head fall on the table. Feeling nothing from the contact he stares uselessly at his mug.

"You keep forgetting you aren't human anymore, huh?"

"Yeah well it's a weird feeling TEX! I've been human all my life, now I'm a fucking ghost possessing a god damn robot body!" He throws his hands up. Seriously there were so many things he used to do that he just can't anymore. Not having to use the restroom anymore was great, but the rest of this robot ghost shit gets annoying after a bit.

"Hey you don't need to cuss me out! I'm not the one who killed you! You died before I got here."

"I know. Jesus Christ!" He hits his head against the table four more times. "I just miss coffee. How the fuck am I suppose to feel awake without it's taste?"

"I miss sex." Boy don't they all? Well obviously not Kai. Somehow her social life hadn't been destroyed by being assigned to this shitty outpost in the middle of nowhere.

"From my memory we weren't having that too often before you even had a robot body."

"Yeah not with you."

"Seriously?" One fucking time. Just one time he'd love to complain without her sniping right back at him. Was that too much to ask for?

"What it's Valentines day. Tucker's horney three hundred sixty five days of the year. I'm allowed to miss it on the worst holiday of all time." Wait? What's today?

"Shit it's Valentines day?"

"Yeah that's why Kai's gone."

"That's why I haven't had to hear her complain about her exes all day?" At least he wasn't in trouble for forgetting it this year. There's some perks to being a single ghost. He wasn't quite desperate enough to attempt weird pottery hijinks yet. Though he's sure if Tucker had died instead of him, shit like that would've started happening day fucking one. Gross ass.

"Yeah she got asked out by some guy she met on the internet. All expenses paid trip to meet him out on some ocean covered planet."

"You do realize that's most planets right?"

"So? It's not like I could really hear her. Tucker was loudly switching between complaining about being single and begging for a ride with her."

"Why do we even still celebrate Valentines day. Isn't it like a thousand years out of date by now?"

"Eh, most girls enjoy it because of the free dates and food. Plus if you hook up on Valentines day the walk of shame home isn't as lonely."

"What do you mean?"

"More people hook up on Valentines then any other day out of the year dude."

"Not everyone!" Simmons cries from the living room.

"Yeah not red team clearly." He mutters into the table. Never has he wanted to roll his eyes so fucking much before. Church leans back in his chair, folding his free arm over it's back. "Are you really here just cause you're single?"

There's dead silence in the base for a whole minute. Finally, sniveling the blue painted red answers, "Maybe."

"Dude there's two women in this entire canyon! We're all single!" Some of them more by choice then others. 

"Well not every man wears it as well as you Church. They probably aren't as used to it." He could hear the smile in her voice. She doesn't even have a smile anymore but Church can still picture it perfectly. Lips slightly parted. You can just barely get a look at her right canine tooth. Always mocking while reminding him she could fucking tear him apart. Probably just using that tooth.

"Gee thanks Tex. Do I have the pleasure of listening to that pleasant attitude of yours all day?" 

She crosses her arms over her chest. "I don't have any other plans."

Great. Well everyone else was gone. At least it's only Tex he has to deal with. Some pathetic sobbing interrupts his thoughts. Shit that red was still here too! "Simmons are you going to cry all day?"

"I don't know. Grif and I usually head for that New Vegas planet." Wait? The two go out together every year on Valentines? Shit maybe Tucker was right. Church looks into the living room to see Simmons was finally sitting up.

"The one with all the indoor pools you can play Texan hold 'em in?"

"I think? Usually we don't leave the club." Seriously are they not actually together? Were they hiding it from Sarge? That makes some sense. If he was a suck up like Simmons he'd probably not want his commanding officer to find out he was dating the most despised member of the team.

"Damn. Why aren't you, ya know, there instead of crying on our couch?"

"Grif forgot to schedule the ship." Why would he leave Grif in charge of scheduling anything, ever? Was he always in charge? Church

"So why are you on our couch?"

"Because Sarge is having a base wide dinner but only invited Lopez and Donut."

"So Grif didn't get an invite either?" Not surprising alone, but wasn't the issue kind of obvious? Sarge wouldn't stiff Simmons for no reason. At least he didn't seem the type. If he did then Grif could assume he's not the only one on the bottom rung. It wouldn't make him miserable enough.

"No."

"So do you think, maybe, Sarge just assumed you two would be gone like always?" Tex leans her head and he shrugs. It seems kind of obvious to him.

It takes a few minutes for Simmons to respond. "What?"

"Dude it doesn't sound like Sarge forgot to invite you. He probably just assumed you and Grif were doing your couples trip."

"It's not a couples trip!"

"Yeah sure dude. He probably thought you two would be gone."

"He did seem surprised to still see Grif in the kitchen eating breakfast"

"Exactly. So why don't you clean your armor and head back over there. I'm sure if you explain it he'll still let you eat with him." If he still had eyes he'd be rolling them right now. Damn he never realized how many micro expressions he did until he couldn't perform them anymore. Texas watches as Simmons makes a racket in the other room. Probably getting ready to leave. He didn't bother watching. Instead Church returned to feeling miserable for himself. A task that was performed by aimlessly staring into the sparkly clean mug.

"Well he's gone now. Guess that just leaves one pest."

"I hate holidays."

"Better just the two of us then a whole base of noise and racket."

"Uh, yeah I guess you have a point." Finally he gets up again. Shelving the mug back up Church rubs the back of his armored neck. "Wanna sit on the couch and watch lame ass rom-coms for the rest of the day?"

"If we start with 50 first dates, sure."

"Right, you actually enjoy Adam Sandler movies."

"Church we used to date. I know you love Adam Sandler movies. I also know about the huge collection of dvds you have in your room. Don't try to act superior. I'm not some date you have to fake impress."

"Right forgot who I was talking to for a moment."

"Go ahead and grab the movie. I'll set up the tv."

Church heads back towards his room. Passing by the couch to get to it. He spots the remote lying on the ground behind it. He picks it up and tosses it back towards Tex. "Catch." She doesn't even bother looking at it to catch it. If that's because of her natural skills, or due to her robot body's reflexes he has no idea. He's also too scared to ask. Either answer would still be sort of impressive anyways.

When he gets back the tv's muted. Thankfully, since it was just resting on a static.

He plops down onto the opposite end of the couch from Texas. The dvd readers whirrs as it finally starts to read the disc. Thirty seconds later it starts to play. "Here we go." Texas pulls her legs up onto the couch, and stretches her arm out along the back of the cushions. Despite the two of them not officially being together again it was easy settling into an friendly mood. Church realizes when they had something else to tear apart the two of them still get along. It was easy thinking back to when he first saw her. Just how in love he had felt. She flipped some asshole in her unit onto his ass. He couldn't remember why but he had cracked a joke. She laughed. The rest was history.

Before he realized it, Church had crossed the rest of the couch during the course of the movie. By the beginning of the second half he was already laying down, head against Texas' bent legs. "We must be seriously fucked up."

"I mean you aren't wrong, but why'd you bring that up now?"

"We resemble a happy couple only when we're tearing someone or thing else down."

"Eh, everyone has their quirks. Besides we're ghosts possessing robots now. Who cares if we aren't normal?"

"Fair enough." She moves her arm down from the back of the couch. Casually placing it on his armored chest. The way she always used to back when they shared that apartment on Earth. He shuts his orbital wires off and just takes the rest in. This was nice.

He loves it when they get to be like this.

"Hey Tex,"

"Yeah Church?"

"I think I still love you."

He doesn't bother waiting for her to answer. He's gotten used to the detached presence she's given off since coming back. They'd probably never get back together. He's fine with that. Church just needed to let her know that.

"You know, sometimes," Texas rubs her hand in a small circle over his chest. "when we're like this I still love you too Church." If he still had lips he'd smile. Not wanting to ruin the moment he says nothing else. They play one movie after the next, barely making a dent in the rom-com portion of his collection by the time Kai and Tucker got back. Apparently Caboose had been invited to Sarge's dinner party too. He'd spent the whole day with the reds and neither of them noticed. Not that it mattered. When the rest of the team returned Church was promptly kicked off Texas' lap. He expected as much. Yeah they both still had feelings for each other, but it's complicated. Church doesn't know if he'll ever be able to not love her, but at least now he knows she struggles with those emotions too. It's not just him. Maybe, one day, they could get back together. Maybe it would all work out next time.