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Chapter Text

CASSIE

Tim’s typing away at his phone with a goofy grin, his dark hair falling to cover his bright blue eyes. He bites his lip as he holds back a chuckle. His thumb is in his mouth as he nibbles at the nail.

“What’s that look for?” Cassie asks.

“What look?” Tim questions, not glancing up from his phone.

“That!” Cassie says. “That sappy, lovesick puppy look.” She places her hands on her hips. “Are you talking to a boooy?” She waggles her eyebrows.

“Maybe,” Tim says, his face flushing with warmth.

“That means yes! That means a definitely, totally yes!” She jumps onto his bed. “Tell me everything.”

“His name’s Jason,” Tim says, that wistful grin still on his lips. “He was my neighbor when I was still living at home—“

“But, wait, didn’t you live in like a mansion?” Cassie interrupts.

“It’s more of a manor than a—“

“God, that’s such a rich person thing to say.” She leans in. “So he’s a little rich boy like you?”

“Well, he’s not exactly… little?” Tim says.

“Ooo.” She props her head up on her hands. “So he’s tall?”

Tim chuckles. “Yeah. He’s tall.”

“Well, you’re not very hard to beat.” Cassie pats Tim’s hair.

“Hey! I am a reasonable height.”

Cassie rolls her eyes. “Keep tellin’ yourself that.” She scoots in. “Okay. So I’m guessing you guys met at some yacht party or something equally as snooty, right?”

“It was actually a charity gala his dad was hosting.”

Cassie barks out a laugh. “God. You’re unbelievable.” 

“Sorry?” Tim says confused.

She pats his head again. “Don't be sorry. Never stop being you.”

“And, well, we were both kids at the time. He told me that he was one of the taste testers for the hors d'oeuvres table and he knew what the good appetizers were and what the really bad ones were.” He snorts. “He ended up making me try all the gross ones first before he gave me the good ones.” He shakes his head as he stares off in the distance nostalgically. “He loved seeing the faces I made when I tried them, but even though I hated it, I kept trying them because it made him laugh, and I just… I just loved his laugh.” He turns to face Cassie. “Still do.”

“Aw,” she cooes. “That’s absolutely disgusting. I think I might die from heart failure from how sweet that was.” 

Tim shoves her arm. “Leave me alone.”

“I will not,” she says with a smirk. “Am I ever gonna meet this mystery boy?”

“Maybe one day.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Cassie declares.

“I know you will.”

STEPH

“So,” Steph says. “Word on the street says you’ve got a new, hot, rich boyfriend.”

Tim groans. “She hasn’t even seen him.”

“Are you denying that he’s hot?” Steph questions with a raised eyebrow.

“No,” Tim says after a thoughtful pause. “He’s definitely hot.”

“So, what’s he like?” 

“He’s… he’s just so sweet. He’s the kind of romantic that does grand gestures just to remind me how much he loves me. Just last week, he brought me a box of chocolate covered strawberries and a handwritten card with a poem he read that reminded him of me.”

“Wow. Are you sure he’s real? Because this sounds a little too good to be true. He might be a raging murderer resurrected by an assassin league out to get you.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “I can assure you he’s not.”

“So, he’s romantic,” Steph says. “Does he go all out for dates?”

“Actually, no. We both prefer to stay in. He’s an amazing cook, though. His, uh, grandfather taught him his way around the kitchen which means that I am blessed with family recipes and home cooked meals.”

“I can’t remember the last time I haven’t eaten something with a sodium count higher than the daily recommendation.” 

“He loves cooking for crowds. Maybe we can all get together sometime,” Tim suggests.

“Anything is better than Bart’s soy sauce, peanut butter ramen.”

BART

“She really said that about my SSPB&R?” 

Tim throws his hands up in mock surprise. “I know, right?”

Bart scoffs in disbelief. “I am a culinary mastermind. She just doesn’t understand it yet.” Bart crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.

“You’re a visionary,” Tim says flatly.

“But, wait, woah woah, back up. You’ve got a mans now?”

Tim closes his eyes. “Yeah. I do.”

“Spill the beans, dude! Why have I heard zippo while everyone else gets the juicy deets?”

Tim sighs, shaking his head with a smile. “He’s an English major. He wants to be an English teacher. He loves classic literature and he can talk for hours about rhetoric. We kinda have this silent agreement: he can ramble about the complex nuance of imagery and double meaning in Jane Austen’s greatest works and I can gush about the latest advances in technology and my many opinions on color theory. We try to understand but we never really do but at least we support each other.”

“I get that,” Bart says with a dreamy smile. “Jaime’s really good at listening to me talk. He’s the best.”

“He does what we can’t.”

Bart snorts. “You’re good at listening too, her-man-o.” He grins. “Jaime taught me that one.”

“Good one, Bart.”

“So, Jason," Bart says quickly. "He’s like a huge book nerd?”

“The biggest book nerd. You have to pry a book away from him if you want him to do anything else. Sometimes I have to force feed him takeout while he’s reading when he’s in too deep.”

"Aw. You take care of him."

"It goes both ways," Tim says. "We just... I think we're just good for each other."

Bart grins. "Well. I'm starving. How about some SSPB&R?"

CONNER

Conner and Tim lounge in their dorm, both typing away at their laptops, not doing homework.

“Hey, you coming to the movie marathon that the GSA is hosting?” Conner asks.

“Can’t,” Tim replies. “I’m volunteering with Jason.”

Conner raises an eyebrow. “Jason?”

“Right,” Tim says, turning away from his laptop. “My boyfriend.”

“Ah yes, the infamous boyfriend that we know basically nothing about,” Conner drawls.

“You know… stuff!” Tim says with a huff.

“Barely,” Conners laughs. “So, you do that a lot? Volunteer with him?”

“He volunteers more than I do,” Tim says. “Weekdays he goes to the homeless shelter to help cook dinners. Saturdays he volunteers at the women’s shelter, usually maintenance or transportation for the ladies that go there. And on Sundays he goes to the children’s hospital and helps there. I go with him when I can.”

“Woah,” Conner says, speechless in disbelief. “He’s…”

“Yeah,” Tim says with a lovestruck grin. “He’s amazing.” He looks down at his hand, tugging at the sleeve of his oversized hoodie. “He just wants to give back. Help people however he can.”

“He sounds… great. Like, greater than great. Like unreal.”

Tim chuckles. “Yeah. He is."

"You know we're gonna have to meet him sometime."

Tim bites his lip. "I know. I just—"

"If you're worried we're not gonna like him, I think it's gonna be practically impossible. He sounds great."

"He is."

Conner smiles. "Then you've got nothing to worry about."

Chapter Text

BIZARRO

“C’mon man. You look like sex on a stick right now. Any girl would be lucky to hit that.”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Not gonna happen, Bizarro.”

The nickname — attached with an unfortunate story that had to do with jello shots, twelve live roosters, and a hundred dollar steak — still makes Bizarro groan. It’s become a second skin, a title he now wears with pride and often gives his friends reason to continue its legacy, but still, it didn’t help with the ladies.

“You need to get laid man! I haven’t seen you get any in months.”

“That’s because I’m taken.”

Bizarro’s jaw drops. “You got a girlfriend?”

“Not exactly,” Jason says, sipping his beer.

A smirk forms on Bizarro’s lips. “Is it more of a friends with benefits thing?”

Jason swigs the last of his beer. “No. It’s more of a ‘he’s a man’ thing.”

Bizarro feels his brain rebooting in a haze of static. “You’re gay?”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “You got a problem with that?”

Bizarro holds his hands up in surrender, not ready to get a right hook to the cheekbone. “Not at all!”

Jason grins. “Good.”

“Well,” Bizarro says, giddy, “how did you guys meet?”

“We met at a party,” Jason says simply. 

“He hot?” 

Jason chuckles. “God, yeah. Makes me lose my mind.”

“Good in bed?”

“Leaves me sore for days.”

Bizarro’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’re not the—”

Jason narrows his eyes, jaw clicking tight. 

“Yup. Shutting up now.” Bizarro’s eyes drift around the room. They lock on a girl in a dress practically painted on her body. “You think I got a chance?”

Jason’s gaze follows Bizarro’s. He snorts. “Absolutely not.”

“I’m going for it,” Bizarro says, ignoring Jason.

Jason sighs. “Good fucking riddance then, man.”

Bizarro got a drink poured on his head but man, was it worth it.

ARTEMIS

Artemis is in Jason’s apartment, eating cold pizza while she tries to force the words on her textbook pages to somehow sink into her mind.

“Why the fuck did I decide to go to college again?” Artemis questions.

“Uh, capitalism?” Jason replies.

“Fuck. I’m just part of the problem then, huh?”

Jason laughs. He takes a seat next to her on the couch. “You gonna finish that?” He points to the last piece.

“Nah. You go ahead.” She turns back to her textbook and is about to lament more about her plights when Jason curses under his breath.

“Everything alright?” Artemis questions. 

“I— shit,” Jason is stumbling to the door, pulling on his shoes. “I gotta go. My boyfriend needs me to take him to the hospital.”

Artemis’ eyes go wide. “Woah. What happened?”

“He was skateboarding on about one hour of sleep and seven cups of coffee and got his foot caught in a grate. Apparently it’s bad enough that he’s actually admitting to the pain.”

“Does he not usually?” Artemis questions.

“He doesn’t really register pain. ‘s got a high pain tolerance.”

“Do you— are you sure you should be driving right now?”

“I’m fine,” Jason snaps. “God, of course this happens. No matter how many times I tell him and he still—”

“He do this a lot?” 

“Yes,” Jason says flatly.  “He may not be as much of an adrenaline junkie as me, but it does get him off.” He groans. “I should’ve never gotten him into parkour.” Jason throws on his jacket and double checks his pockets. “Don’t set my apartment on fire.”

“No promises!” 

And with that, Jason runs out, slamming the door behind him.

Well, now’s a good time to raid Jason’s fancy chocolate stash.

KORI

Kori looks hot. She knows she looks hot. She’s in a purple dress with a cut out that shows off her amazing tits and she knows she’s not leaving alone tonight.

Jason shows up looking as jaw-dropping as ever in his black ripped skinny jeans, tight white t-shirt, and brown leather jacket. His hair is perfectly quaffed in that infuriatingly effortlessly windswept way it is.

“Hey handsome,” Kori purrs, though edged with a teasing tone. “How about I buy you a drink?”

“That a real offer?” Jason asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Nope,” Kori says with a cheeky grin. “You wish.”

“Can’t turn off the hope of a free drink.” He takes a seat next to her and waves at the bartender. “Hey, Jenny. What’s on tap tonight?”

“The usual,” Jenny says.

“Get me some of that please, if you will,” Jason says, giving her a dazzling smile.

Jenny, not fazed by his charm, just gives him a nod. 

Kori takes a sip from her mai tai, nose wrinkling slightly at the fruity sweetness. “How’s your boy? Heard he got hurt.”

“Had to get a cast,” Jason says. “Which just gave me an excuse to ride him ‘til his brain stopped working.”

“I haven’t heard anything about your boytoy," Kori whines. "I had to hear about him from Bizarro. Bizarro. That’s pitiful.” She pouts. “Don’t you like me?”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Of course I do. Just haven’t gotten around to it. I don’t... talk about personal shit much.”

“Well, what’s he doing on bedrest?”

“He’s up to no good, that’s what,” Jason grumbles. “He’s a hacktivist. Don’t even ask me. I have no idea what he does. All I know is that one time some government suits showed up to my apartment asking me questions I didn’t have the answers to and I thought for sure that Tim was gonna be sent to Guantanamo Bay.”

“Is that still a thing?” 

“Fuck if I know.” Jenny comes back with Jason’s drink. “Thanks, sweetheart.” He takes a sip and hums in delight. “He’s up to something, and I don’t know what it is yet. He only tells you about his plans when he has all the facts. He’s a bit of a doomsday prepper, though he’d never say it that way. The shit he finds when he’s hacking, must be pretty rough if it gets him this crazy.”

“He’s smart then?”

“Smarter than anyone I know,” Jason says fondly. “Lacking a bit on street smarts, but makes up for it with pure audacity.” Jason nods, taking another sip. “Always prepared. Has like twenty back up plans at any given moment. Sometimes I can’t keep up.”

“I’d love to pick his brain sometime.”

Jason just shakes his head, drinking long and slow from his beer. “We’ll see.”

ROY

It’s Roy and Jason’s usual Saturday night at the shooting range, and Roy can practically feel the anger radiating off of Jason.

The guy has a temper that is already unrivaled by anyone he knows, but it’s one thing knowing it and it’s another seeing all two hundred pounds and six foot two of a brick shithouse of the man wound up taught, ready for a fight.

“You’re pissy today,” Roy says, shooting and hitting his dummy in the stomach. He curses quietly.

“Am not,” Jason grunts. 

“You are!”

Jason just fires three more rounds perfectly into the head of the dummy.

“Jesus, who the hell pissed in your Cheerios this morning?”

“I don’t eat Cheerios.”

“Not the fucking point, dude.” Roy sighs. “What’s going on? Who’re you imagining you’re blowin’ the brains out of?”

“Tim’s mom.”

“Tim?” Roy questions.

“My boyfriend.”

“Shit, right, the elusive boyfriend that you don’t talk about.” Roy misses the mark completely. “God I hate guns,” he mumbles. “Okay,” he says, louder. “What did Tim’s mom do?”

“She’s just,” shot, “such a fucking,” shot, “bitch!” He roars in frustration and flicks his gun’s safety on and punches at the wall. “God, she’s such a controlling, manipulative bitch and Tim just… he lets her walk all over him.”

Roy flicks his safety on too and holsters his gun. “Talk to me.”

“Tim’s parents, they’re… fuck, they’re shitty parents. And his entire life, they’ve never been around. Always around doing jobs, leaving God knows where and leaving him alone to fend for himself for months on end. You know I know what it’s like, livin’ on your own at a young age, but that’s because I had to. Tim? He had parents. Parents that were fully capable of takin’ care of him. Instead they’re fucking,” punch, “pieces,” punch, “of shit!”

Jason laughs bitterly. “Tim used to spend his nights in Crime Alley with his camera, out on the streets with his camera, taking pictures of the nightlife when he was nine. Let that sink in. This nine year old, on his fuckin’ own, with a camera is wandering around, his parents havin’ no fuckin’ clue he’s even gone, and this idiot—” Jason laughs again, a little more hysterically. “God knows how this moron is still alive, but man am I glad he is.”

“Sounds like a handful,” Roy says, amused.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Jason says, shaking his head and smiling.

“I’d love to meet him.”

“Yeah,” Jason says, “you’re not getting in a mile radius of Tim.”

“Aw, c’mon man.”

“Nope!” Jason says. He cocks his gun and turns back to his target. “Now, let’s get back to it, shall we?”

Jason gets it perfectly into its head three more times.

Cocky bastard.

Chapter Text

Cassie, Bart, Conner, and Steph wander through the mall with their little cups of Dip-n-Dots, Bart double fisting the sweet treats and eating it straight out of the cup with his mouth.

“You do realize how embarrassing it is to be in public with you, right?” Steph says to Bart.

“I am a treasure,” Bart replies, slurping loudly at Cookies ‘n’ Creme.

“That’s disgusting, dude,” Conner says. “How can you even go back and forth between the creamy stuff and the fruity stuff?”

“Guess it takes a creamy, fruity guy to do it,” Bart says, slurping again, now at his Rainbow Sorbet.

Cassie snorts. “I hope that’s referring to your pasty ass skin and not—”

Bart gasps. “Cassie! Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Cassie rolls her eyes. “Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because I’m a treasure!” Bart repeats in a sing-song voice.

“Can’t believe Tim ditched Mall Monday to hangout with his boyfriend,” Steph mutters, stabbing at her Brownie Batter treat.

“Right!” Cassie exclaims. “It is like… sacrilege to ditch Mall Monday for a boy.”

“Well, you know what we’ve got that Tim doesn’t?” Conner says.

“What?” Cassie asks.

“A food court lunch.”

They all grin. 

Steph claps. “It’s time to get some greasy ass mall food.”

.-~*~-.

“I can’t believe you made me go into Hot Topic.”

Roy scoffs in offense. “They have cool pants!”

“It’s also festering with emo teenagers,” Kori says.

“They have cool shirts!” Bizarro chimes in. 

“See!” Roy says, gesticulating wildly. “Where else can Bizarro get men’s extra large My Little Pony shirts?”

“Furry conventions,” Artemis says flatly.

“Bronies are not furries!” Bizarro exclaims loudly.

Artemis raises an eyebrow. “They want to fuck animated horses.”

“You can’t blame them,” Bizarro mumbles. “They’re pretty.”

The other three all make noises of appalled disgust.

“Man. I wish Jason was here,” Roy says. “He’d back me up.” He pops the collar of his new red leather jacket. “He can appreciate the art of Hot Topic fashion.”

Kori crosses her arms over her chest. “You look like you still live with your parents and dropped out of college to start your career as a My Chemical Romance cover artist on Tik Tok.”

Roy’s jaw drops. “Okay, first of all, ouch. Second of all, that was so specific. Like really specific. Is this coming from somewhere?”

“Tinder is not my friend,” Kori says simply.

They stare at each other for a long moment.

“I’m hungry,” Bizarro complains.

“Well, you heard the man,” Artemis says. “Time for lunch.”

.-~*~-.

Jason and Tim wait in line at Panda Express, their fingers interlocked and Tim leaning his head on Jason’s shoulder.

Jason looks down at Tim and smiles, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “You sleepy?”

“Lots of shopping,” Tim murmurs.

“Hopefully, some grub will boost your energy,” Jason says.

Tim smiles sleepily, pushing his face into Jason’s leather jacket as he lets his weight tilt onto him.

Jason unwraps their fingers which earns an unhappy squawk from Tim and wraps his arm around his shoulders which then earns a happy sigh.

He rubs a thumb over Tim’s bicep, the plush fabric of Tim’s hoodie soft under his touch.

They’re still a few people behind in line and there seems to be a very indecisive woman in the front taking her time, so they will be waiting for at least another ten minutes.

“What do you wanna do when we get home?” Jason asks.

“Cuddles,” Tim says with a slight slur to his words.

“Alright,” Jason says. “And no coffee for you.” Tim grumbles quietly. “Uh uh. If you’re this dead on your feet, that means you need to sleep. Not caffinate yourself and try to break your streak of hours without sleep.”

“‘s just fifty-two hours.”

Jason sighs. “Oh, I’m gonna cuddle you so hard. You won’t be able to move and you’ll be forced to sleep.”

“Yay.”

Jason ruffles Tim’s hair and then begins to massage his scalp gently.

They’re moving up one spot in line, finally, when they hear it.

“Jason?!” “Tim?!”

Tim, suddenly awake and alert, whips over to see his friends heading over. From the other direction comes Jason’s friends.

“Tim!” Cassie exclaims. “I can’t believe you.”

“Uh, what can’t you believe?” Tim asks.

Cassie gives him a look of disbelief. “You know what.”

“I don’t think I do,” Tim says.

Steph motions wildly at Jason. “That you would cheat on Jason with this… hunky, leather clad, muscley bad boy oh hello, no wait bad Steph.” She shakes her head. “What happened to romantic, book nerd, volunteers with sick puppies Jason?”

“Yeah!” Bart says. “What the heck, Tim?!”

Tim sneaks a glance Jason. “Uh—”

“Woah woah wait. This is Tim?” Roy blurts out. “This preppy twink?!”

Tim huffs. “Uhm, rude.”

“He looks like his parents own a yacht!” Roy says.

“Roy. My parent owns a yacht. Hell, your parent owns a yacht,” Jason says.

“Oliver doesn’t count!”

Jason buries his face in his hands. 

“Tim is small,” Bizarro says, brows furrowed in confusion. “But you said he’s the one who’s on the top—”

Jason covers his face more, now burning bright red. “Bizarro, oh my God, shut up!”

Tim, with his face equally as red, if not more, slaps Jason on the arm. “Jason!”

Jason groans loudly into his hands.

“Okay!” Conner yells, waving his hands. “Everyone, I think we should just take a moment, back up a bit.”

“Yeah,” Steph says. “Back up to the fact that Tim is cheating on Jason—”

“This is Jason,” Tim says exasperatedly. 

“This is Jason?” Cassie exclaims.

“Yes!” Tim says in unison with Jason.

“Hubba hubba,” Steph says under her breath.

Tim gives her a glare.

“This can’t be Tim,” Artemis says.

Jason stands up straighter, his shoulders squaring and face going hard. “And what does that mean?” 

Bart leans in to Tim. “Holy guacamole, Tim. Your boyfriend’s scary.”

“Alright, alright!” Tim exclaims, flailing his arms. “Yes, this is Jason. Yes, he is the guy I’ve been talking about. No, I haven’t made up anything I’ve told you. Yes, he is built like a bodyguard extra in an action film and yes, he is still the softie that I love and dote about.” He turns to Jason’s friends. “Yes, Bizarro, I am the top. No, I will not elaborate any further. Yes, I am small and it does not matter at all to Jason. No, Roy, my dad does not have a yacht because my dad’s company is going bankrupt even though he won’t admit to it because he is a horrible CEO. I am not going to explain anything more to you all because I am hungry, I am tired, and frankly it is none of your business!”

As Tim finishes his rant, his chest heaves as if he’s just run a mile. 

“Alright,” Kori says slowly. “Let’s leave Jason and Tim to their date.”

Everyone bursts out replies all at once. “But—”

“Hey!” Conner barks firmly. “They’ll tell us when they want. Tim’s right. It’s none of our business.”

Tim smiles softly. “Thanks, Conner.”

Jason narrows his eyes. “If any of you even think to ask me about what may or may not go into my ass, I will not hesitate to ruin your day.” He smiles sharply before falling back into a glare.

Everyone nods silently.

Jason grins, slightly less terrifying than before. “Good. Now get out of our sight, let us enjoy our shitty Chinese food, and leave. Us. Alone.”

And with that, their friends scattered like roaches, metaphorical tails between their legs.

Jason and Tim share a look and giggle to themselves.

“I think my friends are afraid of you,” Tim says.

“Good,” Jason says. “Then they won’t bother us again.”

Tim grins. “I love you.”

Jason pecks him on the lips. “I love you too.” He brushes Tim’s bangs away from his eyes. “Even if you are a preppy twink.”

“Jason!”