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The first time Byleth sees another timeline is the first time she sees Dimitri sleep.
She’s doing the night patrol, courtesy of Manuela’s and Hanneman’s combined pleas for her to volunteer for it instead of them.
“I have a date, darling professor,” Manuela drawled charmingly. “Surely you won’t be so cruel as to keep me away from a possible lover now, would you?”
“Unlike Manuela,” Hanneman coughs disapprovingly, “My academic research has had a marvelous breakthrough! Science cannot wait, professor!”
Sighing internally, Byleth had acquiesced.
And so she had found herself happening upon the sight of candlelight lighting up the rainbow-coloured stained glass windows of the Blue Lions classroom in the otherwise dark school grounds.
Who could be up so late?
Curious, Byleth sweeps into the room and stops short at the sight that greets her.
Candles are lit at Dimitri’s usual seat. Blonde hair glows in the dim candle light and against the dark backdrop of the monastery stone, casting an almost ethereal halo around Dimitri’s peaceful sleeping face.
He looks like an angel, Byleth thinks to herself, soft.
Books are stacked in neat piles around him, and a feather pen is gripped loosely in his hand, dripping black ink onto a blank piece of parchment. Byleth moves closer and raises her eyebrows when she sees the diagrams that she’s preparing for class next week. Seems like someone wants to read ahead...but what for? And at the cost of his sleep?
Dimitri’s cheek is pressed to his book, ink smudged slightly across his cheek. Byleth smiles gently, soaking in the sight of his peaceful face.
His light breaths flutter a strand of blonde fringe in his face and Byleth reaches out to sweep it to the side when the candle light seems to glow brighter, blinding her in its intensity.
She flinches, closing her eyes, and then opens them to a wholly different place.
It’s Gronder Field. The sky is a nightmarish red and the grass and trees an ominous green, shadowed by the twilight sun. There’s no wind, but Byleth’s ears perk up at the familiar sounds of battle in the distance behind her. Her hand moves to the familiar grip of her sword hilt. But still, despite being the battle-honed mercenary she is, she doesn’t turn around to check.
Because Dimitri is right in front of her, face down in the grass.
His blonde hair is long and coarse, splayed out around his head like the strands of a mop. Faerghus’ emblem on his royal blue cape is matted with blood and dirt.
And spears stick out of it like a horrifying mockery of the spikes of a crown. The setting sun casts long shadows of it on the grass. His blood is a pool around him, glinting wickedly in the dim twilight.
Shock steals the strength from her legs, and she sinks to the ground. She can’t speak. Words are stolen from her, just like how life was stolen from Dimitri. It can’t be, he was just in front of her, sleeping, alive-
“Professor?” It’s Hilda’s familiar high pitch, coloured with confusion. “What are you doing here? Claude needs you at the front lines.”
Hilda pauses and lowers her voice, uncharacteristically serious. “There’s nothing you can do for Dimitri now, professor.”
Before she can turn around to interrogate the pink haired noble, the sun finally plunges below the horizon and the world turns black.
Byleth blinks again and she’s back in the classroom. Dimitri is still snoring lightly, unaware of Byleth’s trembling hands and inner turmoil. The cape attached to his shoulder is a vibrant blue with none of the elaborate stitching of Faerghus’ symbol.
But the gruesome sight doesn’t fade. She can still see the dark afterimage of the spears sticking out of his back in the warm bloom of the candles.
Shaken, she pulls back her hand and backs away slowly. Sprints all the way back to her room, heart pounding in her ears. What was that? Why was he dead? Was it because of me?
Was it because I chose to teach the Golden Deer instead?
The questions continue to plague her in her sleep.
The second time it happens, Byleth is sure that it’s because of her.
The Blue Lions are having weapons and sparring training with the Black Eagles. She’s teaching a surprisingly nimble Dorothea the basic footwork for swordsmanship when there’s a rising wave of cheering from behind her.
“The house leaders in a sparring match eh? This should be fun.” Catherine throws her head back and laughs. The students are in a frenzy, shouting and hollering encouragement for their respective house leader.
Dimitri and Edelgard are facing each other in the middle of a ring bordered by students, both smiling confidently.
The thought of them fighting, even in a friendly match, sends a chill down her spine. An ominous feeling nags at her heart as she dismisses Dorothea, who skips away excitedly to join the cheering Black Eagles.
“You go, Edie! Get him good!”
The students part quickly as Byleth moves through the crowd, and she reaches the front just in time to see Dimitri and Edelgard run at each other, axe and spear poised to strike.
An unexpected burst of wind blows sand into the air and she closes her eyes, the sound of clashing metal resounding in her ears.
The feel of wet clothes sticking to her skin causes her eyes to fly wide open. And yet again, she opens her eyes to a different sight. Droplets drip from her eyelashes as she blinks rapidly, the rain an almost continuous sheet of white against the purple and pink shades of the twilight sky.
The puddle at her feet shows her a Byleth she doesn’t even recognise; bright green hair and eyes, a gold circlet and a skeletal sword hanging from the sheath at her hip. It unnerves her to realise that she looks similar to Rhea.
And that’s when she notices the lack of noise. The battlefield (one she’s never seen before) is surprisingly hushed. A rarity for a place of messy, painful deaths.
Byleth soon understands why.
Edelgard is standing, a jagged skeleton axe in hand, in front of a kneeling Dimitri swathed in that same royal blue cape she saw at Gronder Field.
Byleth’s eyes widen involuntarily, and sadness bursts in her heart at the look on his face. Her hand clutches the hilt of the sword until her knuckles are white.
Hatred twists his face and voice, as he bellows at Edelgard with the heartbreak of a betrayed friend and the anger of a defeated ruler. But Edelgard stands unwavering in the face of such overwhelming emotion. Only a flicker of regret crosses her face as she raises her axe high.
“Farewell, king of delusion.”
Just as his guillotine reaches its zenith, Dimitri glances towards Byleth. The rain makes it difficult to see if he’s crying, but his eyes brim with despair. Melancholy drags the corners of his mouth up into one final, gruesome smile. Goodbye , he seems to whisper.
It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Byleth breaks out of her frozen, tense trance and shoots forward towards Edelgard, the sword at her side extending towards Edelgard’s axe hand like a threaded cane. She tunes out the panicked shouting around her, fully intent on saving Dimitri's life.
But before the sword can reach Edelgard, ( before it can save Dimitri’s life ) water stings her eyes and they squeeze shut involuntarily.
She is yanked back from the rain soaked battlefield to the sounds of loud cheering and whistling.
Hand still extended, grasping at thin air. Some students eye her weirdly and inch slightly away. She ignores them, feeling like her world is falling apart as the match in front of her ends.
“Looks like it’s a draw,” Catherine whistles lowly. Edelgard’s axe is at Dimitri’s forehead, but his spear is at her throat. Both are panting heavily, wide grins on their faces and sweat dripping from their hair. They both lower their weapons and shake hands, and Dimitri scans the crowd, until he spots her and his face lights up with pride.
But Byleth doesn’t even notice, a dull ache underneath her rib cage. The students on either side of her feel like walls crowding her in, giving her barely any room to breathe .
She turns and sprints for the exit to the training grounds, unaware of Dimitri’s concerned eyes following her the whole way.
The Black Eagles killed him. And I stood by and watched like it was nothing. As if I didn’t even care.
She starts to wake up screaming at night.
The last time it happens, Dimitri is there to comfort her.
Her eye bags have darkened to the point where even Seteth has expressed concern for her well being (albeit with a raised eyebrow and a pointed comment to take care of yourself for the students’ education ), but when prodded, she refuses to disclose why.
However, she has been studiously avoiding spending any more time with the object of her nightmares than necessary, and he’s noticed.
Understandably, Dimitri’s very confused by the situation, in a kicked puppy way that makes guilt curl in her stomach every time she sees him. Their easy, happy camaraderie dissolves into a forced, tense distance.
If anything, her avoidance makes him more earnest in class, answering her questions with a fervor that she’s certain goes beyond academic curiosity. He finds her after class too, peppering her with genuine questions about the curriculum. She can’t turn him away, but she keeps her answers curt and squirrels herself away in her room.
But Byleth can’t escape when her Lions pounce on her like prey to ask her to bake with them as part of class bonding.
“Professor! We’re going to bake! Join us!” Annette’s entire aura is shining, her eyes lit up with excitement.
A refusal dances right on the tip of her tongue when she catches sight of Mercedes’ face. The sunlight slanting through the window at her back gives her tilted head and usual innocent smile a distinctly threatening edge. “You’re not going to refuse your favourite students, are you professor?”
And that’s how she finds herself in the kitchens, ushered in right next to Dimitri. The sweet, delicious smell of baked goods cannot soothe her tenseness, hidden under an experience-honed mask.
She can practically feel Dimitri’s eyes, peeking at her unsurely from behind his blonde fringe. Byleth can’t see them, but she’s absolutely certain that the Blue Lions are making some kind of frantic, exasperated gesture behind her back. Just talk to her! We got her here for you!
“Ah, I’m out of sugar.”
Mercedes’ tone, on the other hand, is sugary sweet, and Byleth has to swallow back a sigh. Mentally notes to herself to pay them back during sparring.
The rest of the class file out eagerly to help Mercedes “get the sugar”, leaving Byleth and Dimitri alone in awkward silence.
She’s perfectly content with icing the cupcake in front of her when Dimitri speaks first.
“Professor, I-” He stutters, frustration creasing the space between his eyebrows. Byleth has to fight the urge to smooth it out, and instead looks at him expectantly, eyebrow raised. A small smile is teased out of her at the sight of pink frosting sitting innocently on Dimitri's cheek, looking like a bad imitation of war paint.
But Dimitri doesn't seem to notice, just opens and closes his mouth for a few moments before she decides to extend the olive branch herself.
Byleth raises a hand to Dimitri’s cheek to wipe off the frosting, startling a “Professor?” out of him, and-
The sweet smell of sugar frosting is replaced by a metallic smell. Dimitri’s shocked blue eyes are now lifeless, the light snuffed out cruelly. Blood spills out of the corner of his mouth, smearing on his pale cheek.
She recoils, only to find her hands are wet and stained with red. The same skeleton sword she had seen in the previous timeline glimpse is plunged clean through Dimitri’s stomach and into a tree behind him.
Bile burns the back of her throat.
No, no-
Her hands scrabbled at his bloody chest, desperate to feel the pounding of his heart, however irrational it is. I did this this is my fault what have I done-
She doesn't even notice that she's back in the monastery.
Sweat dots her forehead and her palms. Nausea and a pulsing headache causes the floor to heave under her feet.
She wants to lie down, but settles for sliding ungracefully to the cool granite of the kitchen floor.
You killed him. He's dead dead dead-
“-Professor? Professor! Are you alright?” Dimitri's worried face swims into view, warped by the sudden onset of her emotions.
His hands reach out to firmly grip her forearms. An anchor in the ocean she is drowning in.
Byleth takes it.
She grips Dimitri’s hands and focuses on the solidness of it in her hands. The warmth, the rough calluses of his fingers and palms and the steady pulse of his heart under her palm. Her guilt recedes, mute under his reassuring heartbeat. Heart slows back to a normal rhythm.
Because he’s here, safe and alive in her arms.
Byleth can’t hold it back anymore. “You were dead.”
He doesn’t interrupt, only methodically draws circles in her palm. The touch grounds her to reality. “Every time I see you, in the future, you are dead. Because of me. You should stay away-”
“This is why you were avoiding me?” His frustrated outburst startles her out of her self-deprecating spiral.
“Professor, you saved me from the bandits and you’ve done so much for our class and…”
Earnest blue eyes lock onto hers. He draws in closer, forehead barely touching hers. “You mean a lot to me. I know you won’t hurt me or the Blue Lions, Professor. So please, stay by our side. By my side. Please, do not avoid me any longer.”
Byleth’s heart stutters now, for a different reason. His confession fills her with a pleasant warmth that buoys her up to a standing position.
In another life, I helped to destroy your future. But, in this life-
“I will stay by your side, Dimitri. To protect you, and-” She pauses to put her thoughts into words. “To see the wonderful king you will become.”
His resulting smile practically lights up the room.
Sensitive ears pick up the barely-there sound of boots shifting against granite.
“All of you can come in now.”
Sheepish faces greet her as the wooden door creaks open, revealing the Blue Lions all with ears pressed against the door. Dimitri rubs the back of his neck, which is slowly turning red at the idea of his classmates listening in on his confession.
“We’re done with icing the cupcakes.” Byleth says matter-of-factly. “Dimitri, would you care to accompany me back to my room?”
She sweeps past the giggling Blue Lions with dignity, Dimitri scurrying to catch up with her.
“I’m sorry,” Byleth says as they reach her door. For my avoidance.
Dimitri smiles at her softly and she knows that all is forgiven. They part reluctantly and she turns to go when he says, “Could you do me a favour, Professor?”
“Anything, if it is within my power.”
“Close your eyes and hold still for me?” She’s curious but immediately does as he says, hands hanging limply at her sides.
Warm, soft lips press briefly against her forehead. Byleth’s eyes immediately fly open, dazedly taking in the sight of a red faced Dimitri looking away from her. With a quick “have a good night, professor”, he strides away as fast as he can manage, blue cape billowing behind him.
The memory and warmth of that unexpected kiss follows her into a sweet sleep.
That night, she glimpses a future where the same fancy gold crown rests in her hair, but she is smiling and sitting on a throne next to Dimitri. Children's laughter drifts in from beyond the throne room door.
Light streams in through the stained glass window behind their dais, glinting off of the rings on their joined hands.
This is a future that I will protect, at all costs.