Chapter Text
Kageyama Tobio's POV
Stumbling, Tobio fell into the wall, his fingers scraping against the roughness of the bricks, and he was able just in time to catch himself, his fingertips aching under the pressure of holding himself up as he gripped onto a crack within the brickwork preventing himself from tumbling to the sidewalk.
Under the night sky, Tobio felt tiny. The street lights doing little to provide light as the storm clouds continued to roar over the Miyagi prefecture.
The icy wind licked at his face, creeping under his clothes and spreading across his skin like the lacy tide of a frigid winter’s beach. With gently chattering teeth, he wrapped his thin sweater around him tighter in an effort to provide more warmth.
He regretted not gathering his coat and his shoes before running out of the apartment, maybe he should have stayed there until the storm settled down… he froze, thoughts and memories of the fight overtaking him, shaking his head ‘no’ – he needed to leave, he was no longer welcome.
With each step, his stomach tightened and ached all the more. Cold water seeped into his socks, his slippers also wet, weighing him down as he continued to drag himself down the street.
In the distance, the sky lit up, white light filling the sky. He watched in pure horror as lightning came, a brilliant shock of white in the graphite sky, forking across the sky like hands - the thunderous boom always calling its warning too late.
Tobio flinched, he was scared, terrified. He was so dumb leaving the safety of his boyfriend’s arms even if they no longer wanted him. He squeezed his eyes shut.
The streets were empty as they should be after all the city was on lockdown after an extreme weather warning came two days ago on an approaching cyclone. It wasn’t too bad at the moment, the storm contained rain, gales, thunder and lightning, but still Tobio knew it was dangerous to go out, and he had nowhere else to go.
Numbness flooded throughout him as the realisation hit him deeply – ‘do they still even love me?’
He tried to hold it in, but it all fell apart. He couldn’t handle all this pain inside anymore. The rain seemed to build in pressure, the few raindrops turning into hundreds falling from the sky. The heavens seeming to cry out.
The rain stole away any heat that remained under his sweater just as fast as it added onto the stream of wetness cascading down his face. Tobio’s face was soaked, the drops coming together to run into his eyes, joining the tears that flowed and dripped from his chin.
All the pain and suffering had built up over the months.
He kept swallowing, his throat clenching again and again, but no matter what he could not stop the warm feeling rising through his chest. Then he could taste it at the back of his mouth. Constance buckled over. A warm, clouded, cream-coloured liquid spilled from his mouth and sizzled as it splashed over the cold stone path only to be washed away by the water that flowed into tiny streams down the roads and the sidewalks.
‘What was I even thinking to actually believe that they loved me?’
To them, he felt just like a game - that they could mess around with over and over again because they knew he would continue to run back to them. How could he even trust Oikawa when all he did was bully him, and Iwaizumi… well, he was always on Oikawa’s side and never listened to his side of the story.
Tobio knew Iwaizumi favoured Oikawa and always would - for Tobio was the younger one of the trio that had only known them for the past three years, while the duo had grown up together, loving each other since childhood.
Tobio felt like an imposter in the relationship.
Before he knew it – he was bawling and couldn’t seem to find a breath to get oxygen into his lungs – he was hyperventilating, suffocating, and he couldn’t seem to stop the panic rising.
The thunder seemed to crack the air around Tobio as if the very heavens split open. It rolled like the ash of a volcano, becoming a rolling, booming rumble.
Tobio couldn’t take it - he was terrified, cold, wet and alone in desperation.
He was removing his hand from the wall, his shoulder falling to take on the support that his hand had once provided to hold up his body weight, then he had his hand over his ears to conceal as much sound as possible from the noise that rang throughout the streets.
He couldn’t stop the trembling in his hands or as his body started quivering. ‘I think I need to sit down,’ Tobio’s last thought before giving in to the urge to slump backwards, his body crumbled back against the brick wall as it slowly slid down before ending up butt first in a puddle.
In the corner of a dark street, he sat slumped over himself, his back up against the damp bricks, body aching, cheeks burning with the flush of fever. He would have cried for help or from pain, but there was no strength in his voice, so in a whisper he said, “I’m sorry,” his breath quivered in short, quick gasps every time he inhaled, his lungs having no choice but to painfully and rigidly take in the chilled air around him.
He couldn't seem to stop the shaking, either. Sometimes it was rough, other times he could manage, but every time he'd get close to sleep, a new spell of violent shaking would force him awake. "I'll get better. I'll do better," he repeated to himself in an attempt to remain awake and aware, but slowly his body and mind became numb.
Over the fading noise of the pelting rain, he heard a cry calling out his name, “Tobio!”
Each passing second, he faded in and out – he was just too tired and weak to remain awake.
He heard another cry, “Tobio!” As his eyes continued to drop. A pair of shoes came into view. Just as everything went to oblivion.
“Oikawa! He’s here –“ and then he faded into darkness.