Work Text:
Rain started to pour down from the deathly black skies above, sounds of lightning followed in the process as it cried more and more raindrops towards the ground. Its wind made the trees sway on different sides, followed by their leaves falling off and syncing with the wind's directions as it flowed lifelessly underneath the city lights and the car's headlights. The night was somehow peaceful and calming, even including the thunderstorm that was happening at the very moment.
The only problem was that I was soaked and wet from running around the alleys just to find a bus station home.
When I finally found a small bus stop station, I took shelter and sat down on its wet bench, cringing as it soaked through my jeans. I tried calling for Shane again and again but he wasn't answering. I was starting to worry about him more than to myself, knowing that he sometimes can be dependent and alone since I've been away for eight months.
I sighed and leaned my head on my hands, pouting as small drops of water fell onto my head again and again. This continued for a few more minutes until I noticed that the drops stopped, though, the rain was still heavy and pouring down mercilessly onto the concrete grounds.
"You should have moved on the other side of the bench, it's less drier."
The voice I longed to hear the most ringed in my ears like music, unshed tears started to form from my [E/C] eyes with a wide smile creeping across my face. I looked up to see the man I've been thinking about every single day while I was on tour for my musical. The man whom I couldn't wait to see again personally after those long months of working.
He was here.
"S-Shane. . ." I stood up and wrapped my arms around his lanky 6'4" figure, not caring how wet I was and how it would soak his clothes, too. "You're here! I can't believe it. I tried calling you but you weren't answering."
"That's because I spent most of my time looking for you without checking my phone." Shane explained, retuning the hug and giving my [H/C] hair a small ruffle. "Been looking for you everywhere and I happen to see you here sitting like a lost child."
I giggled and hugged him again, breathing in the scent of his cologne that was sprayed on his jacket and taking in the fact that I can finally be with him for a while before going back to work in the next couple of months. Thinking about the future plans I prepared for the two of us made me feel all giddy inside with excitement rising in the pit of my stomach. Most of all, being with Shane was enough of a reason for me to come back here in Los Angeles.
I really did miss him.
Shane let go of the hug first, planting a kiss on my temple as his lips stayed there for a while before gazing at my face for another long time. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked through the rain, me sticking close to him while carrying my luggage.
"Let's go home and get you all warmed up. I may or may not prepared a bath for you and some hot chocolate."
➳
I huffed out a breath of comfort after showering and changing into my most comfortable pajamas that matched Shane's, drying my hair with a towel while walking towards the couch and sat there for the time being. Once I was done, I hung it near a chair and relaxed on the cushions of the couch with the hot chocolate drink now on my hand. I inhaled its scent softly before sipping its sweet, sugary liquid.
I hummed in enjoyment. "This tastes really good, Shane. Thank you." I averted my gaze to see him leaning on our kitchen counter, fixing a puppet for his new series on their new channel called Watcher. I always looked forward to watch their videos every now and then.
Shane didn't respond to my reply, which was understandable since he was busy. Though, it made me worry a little.
"Shane?" I called out softly. He looked up and stared at me. "Will you sit next to me?"
Another wave of silence filled the room, only the speakers blaring delicate songs that gave off a tranquil aura around occupied the awkwardness that was flowing in between us.
I was about to ask again until he spoke up.
"I saw the live broadcast of your musical earlier." He started. "Ryan and I watched it."
"Oh, was it good?" I asked, taking another sip. "I never knew you were into theater that much." I joked to lighten the mood, which it failed since Shane didn't laugh at my sarcasm.
"Yeah, it's good. It's just. . ." His voice trailed off, hearing a twinge of pain seeping out. His eyes met mine sadly. "I didn't know there was a kissing scene between you and Charles."
I tapped the hot surface of the mug for brief moment, sighing loudly. During the musical, there was a scene where me and my closest friend- who was also the protagonist of the show- would kiss for our "wedding". The kiss really didn't mean anything to me nor to Charles, since we can never imagine ourselves dating or even be in a relationship besides being friends.
Though, it may not mattered to me, but maybe it did to Shane.
The silence started to deafen my senses again, pursing my bottom lip as I set the mug down on the table and sat up straight. "I sent you a script about it, though. I thought you already knew what was about to happen."
"I forgot to read the script you sent, I figured that watching the show would be more intriguing." Shane admitted, looking down. "but you could've just told me."
"I'm really sorry, Shane." I muttered. "I just thought that you already knew after I sent the script."
Silence, yet again.
"Do you like him?"
I was taken aback by his sudden question. "What?"
He looked at me again, his glassy eyes wary and tired. "Do you like Charles?"
"Of course not," I answered almost immediately and without any hesitations. "I mean I like him as my friend, but not like that. Why'd you even ask?"
"I just think that the two of you are a perfect fit, you know? Considering that he's the same age as you and he looks. . . nicer."
"Are you jealous?"
He didn't reply, hands fidgeting on the small puppet he made while I was gone.
I stood up and walked closer to where he was until I was already next to him, I placed my hand on his and rubbed my thumb on the back of his palm. "Shane. . ."
Suddenly, a spec of liquid dropped on my hand. Shane moved a little and turned his head away from me, letting out a shaky exhale while pursing his lips. I cocked my head in confusion as to where that tiny droplet came from, my eyes widening when I knew.
That was where I realized he was crying already, my heart sinking upon seeing my own person getting hurt by something I unintentionally did.
I placed my other hand to his back, rubbing it in a comforting matter before stopping. "Hey, you know I wouldn't leave you, right?"
". . ."
"Shane, look at me. Please?" I placed a hand to his cheek, moving his head slightly to fixate his gaze on me. "I love you."
"I. . ." Shane gulped, trying to shake the tears that was flowing freely form his eyes. I gave him a sympathetic yet hurt look when he couldn't say it back. I let go of his hand and climbed up on the kitchen counter and sat there, making me look taller than him since the counter top measured almost near his stomach.
"Hey, come here." I opened my arms wide for him to hug me. He was hesitant at first until he reached forward and wrapped his slender arms around my waist and placing his head on the crook of my neck, quietly letting out his sobs he had been probably holding for God knows how long.
Shane was always never that type of person who would cry easily, even when there was a drastic scenario that would occur. Seeing him being happy all the time and joking around with me and his best friends was quite amusing to see, yet it had always been a mystery on how he would keep his shit for so long. Now that he was crying messily and wouldn't let me go, I knew something was bothering him for a long time while I was away for work.
As much as he had that stoic and cold expression glued to his façade, I knew that he had always been such a sweetheart and had a sensitive soul.
I just sat there and ran my fingers through his soft hair, feeling his upper body tremble slightly as hitched gasps came out of his mouth from time to time. The fabric of my shirt was drenched with his sweat and tears, but I didn't care less; he needed me. I tightened my embrace around him in hopes that he would know I'd stay right here and would not let him go. I whispered sweet nothings to his ear and reassured him that everything would be okay in the end, telling him that I love him multiple times even if he did not reply.
Once his sobs died down, he loosened his arms and stood up while looking down. I reached for a face towel near the sink and placed my hand to his cheek, wiping away the tears that were slowly subsiding.
"I'm sorry." Shane mumbled, fiddling with the necklace he gave to me back on our first anniversary that was laying on my chest right now. He sniffed a little bit and drew out a long breath afterwards, blinking more tears away that was still trying to fall from his already tired eyes. I held his hands for a while before setting mine on the each side of his face, tilting it up so his eyes would lock with mine.
"It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong." I raked my fingers through his hair again. "What's the matter? We can talk about it right now if you're comfortable with it."
Shane continued to play with my necklace, now looking down again while breathing heavily. "I just felt like we were being distant with each other, a-and I couldn't do anything about it."
"Hm? What do you mean by that?"
"I-I dunno," He shrugged, stuttering his own words that signified how hard it was for him to open up.
"Did something happen when I wasn't here? Did someone hurt you?" I pressed cautiously, caressing his cheek with my thumb. "Did I hurt you?"
He shook his head. "Jesus, no. I never thought about you hurting me on purpose. Maybe. . . it was just me overthinking while you were gone."
I frowned at his statement, eyes starting to get watery. "What have you been thinking about, love?" Shane melted onto my touch when he heard me calling him 'love'. It had always been a habit of mine to call him that every time we were alone.
"W-when you were away, I have been worrying a lot━ more than I bargained for." He started to explain through stammers. "I've been having nightmares of you forgetting me o-or getting into an accident that would wake me up in the middle of the night. Sometimes, it's about you meeting someone else. It got progressively worse when we stopped talking for a while i-in the last few months since the two of us got really busy with our own things." Another tear fell from his eyes just as he plopped the necklace on my chest, shaking his head a few times. "Please don't get mad at me for saying this, but it also crushed me seeing you kiss that guy, even if it was only for the show."
My mouth quivered in shock as tears flowed down from my eyes. "S-Shane━"
"It hurt me so, so much and I couldn't do anything but to understand that it's your job and I shouldn't be feeling jealous for something so naïve." At this point, Shane was crying again and so was I. I continued to listen to him without bothering to wipe the trickling tears. "I ignored that feeling and how stupid it was for me to think like that. I know you'd never do that to me, but I couldn't help it, [Y/N]. I'm really sorry."
Shane casted his eyes on me and placed his hands on the both sides of my face, wiping away my tears. He leaned in and pecked my nose and forehead, staying there only a few inches away from my face.
"Shane. . ." I whispered his name again softly, not caring how many times I said it.
"I love you, too." He whispered back with such sorrow and love that almost made me melt. "I can't afford to lose you. If I did, I wouldn't know what to do and as cliché as it sounds I just can't live without you anymore. A-and if I lose you, I-I can't━ no. . . I don't want to━" Shane broke down again in front of me, his breathing more irrational than before as he shook his head with small whimpers and hiccups coming out of his mouth that synced with his teardrops that were flowing again.
I couldn't respond to what he just said, instead I made him fall to my arms again and cried with him as I tightened my grip around his figure. It broke my heart to see him like this; the first time he let all his emotions out without holding anything back.
He didn't cry just because he was jealous, it was only linked to the original reason as to what he actually felt and it only triggered him to let everything out.
Shane Madej━ my own person━ cried because of me.
"Please. . . don't leave." He said, his fist crumpling my shirt while his head lay on my chest.
"Never did I even thought about leaving you, love." I gave him a small kiss. "I love you, I really do."
We stayed in that position for a while without anyone or anything disturbing us. The sounds of our sobs quieting down as we realized how much we really missed each other.
He needed me and I also needed him, too.