Chapter Text
Adding just a pinch of salt makes any glass of water undrinkable.
The same can be said about the truth.
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Chongyun doesn't mean to lie. It just happens.
Xingqiu and him have been friends since childhood, the byproduct of growing up next door to each other. Xingqiu ropes Chongyun into all his schemes, his pranks.
So when an nine year old Xingqiu approaches Chongyun at the park and claims they're reincarnated warriors, Chongyun just goes along with it.
"We were swordsmen?" Chongyun asks. His hands are sticky from his ice cream cone. He sits on the bench and watches as Xingqiu paces, arms waving wildly.
"Yes! Well, I was. You wielded a bigger sword, kind of like an ax? We had magic powers. You obviously had ice-"
"Obviously." It's the middle of winter and Chongyun's barely wearing a T-shirt.
"And I had water powers, and I could summon blades! We fought monsters." Xingqiu crosses his arms, a smug look on his face. "I was our great leader!"
"Okay." Chongyun wipes the melted ice cream off on his shorts. "Want to go on the jungle gym?"
"Let's go! Let's go!"
Chongyun's not quite sure why Xingqiu kept bringing up his strange dreams. But it's fine. Xingqiu whims don't last very long.
So for a few months, they have fantasy fights, swinging branches like swords. They even drag some of their classmates in it, even though Xingqiu says that only he and Chongyun are the real deal. Which is fine, even if it makes Chongyun blush.
It's a special privilege for best friends. It's why he gets to hold Xingqiu's hand as they walk together, and why they sit next to each other in class and during lunch.
So as Xingqiu's very best friend, Chongyun resolves to play along with Xingqiu's ideas. Maybe next time they'll be aliens on a secret mission or spies from Sneznaya.
Xingqiu's dreams don't go away. They keep playing swordsmen, even when the rest of the class gets bored with it.
"They just don't get it!" Xingqiu says. "They haven't lived it like we have!"
What else can Chongyun do but nod? Xingqiu is always devoted to his stories.
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When they're eleven, Xingqiu's parents decide there is something wrong with their son, so deeply obsessed in his strange, imaginary fantasy world. So they send him to a doctor.
Xingqiu complains to Chongyun over text.
(It took a lot of guts for Chongyun to put the hearts around his best friend's name. If asked, he'll claim it's ironic.)
💙xingqiu💙: Yunyun
💙xingqiu💙: yunyun, I'm soooooo tired! comfort me ( ˘ ³˘)♥
💙xingqiu💙: YUNYUN!!!!!!!!!
Chongyun: feel better
Chongyun: what did they say
💙xingqiu💙: he was eating in the palm of my hand (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ I am a mad genius in every life!
Chongyun: good for you.
💙xingqiu💙: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ how come ur parents aren't worried! It's not fair!
Chongyun: just don't say anything
Chongyun's parents aren't worried because their son doesn't talk about past lives. They're only worried about his grades and the fact he only has one friend. Chongyun doesn't care. Xingqiu's enough.
But Chongyun isn't very good at this topic. Xingqiu seems to be waiting for Chongyun to jump in and describe how they fought a boar or are some strange dish or met a god??? Xingqiu's mentioned that once, and Chongyun still isn't sure what that was about.
💙xingqiu💙: AHHHHHHHH I should have done that! ୧( ಠ Д ಠ )୨ I AM A FOOL AMONGST FOOLS!
Xingqiu's waiting for Chongyun to remember. Chongyun still isn't sure if there even is anything to remember. So, like always, he changes the subject.
Chongyun: did you do the math hw
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"I was a best selling novelist!" Xingqiu proclaims. They're twelve, and Xingqiu's discovered his passion for writing. Chongyun's his beta reader.
It's quite good, not that he would know. Chongyun prefers listening to Xingqiu read than look at a book himself.
Chongyun sort of figured Xingqiu's obsession would have ended by now, but there are worse hobbies. Xingqiu writes down all his dreams, even has a conspiracy board in his closet, filled with names and places Chongyun's never even heard of.
Part of Chongyun thinks this might be a really, really long prank, but even Xingqiu isn't that devoted. Still, Chongyun would normally just write it off, except ...
"Chongyun! How have your dreams been lately?" Xingqiu's eyes sparkle. "Any death defying exorcisms?"
Chongyun shrugs, breaking their gazes. He's thankful he has a popsicle in his mouth, or else he'd have to answer.
It's not that Chongyun doesn't believe Xingqiu. He's just learned to consider a part of Xingqiu. There's no real or fake. Just Xingqiu.
And Chongyun can't disappoint him. So maybe he's implied he's been having weird dreams too (which isn't wrong; he dreamed he breakdanced on a candy island during the zombie apocalypse).
The park is empty. It tends to be, during the evening, but that's how they like it. They're sitting at the same bench. They always sit on the same bench.
"You know, I can't wait for high school. Maybe we'll find others." Xingqiu kicks his feet back and forth.
Chongyun chokes.
Xingqiu gives him a funny look. Chongyun never chokes on his popsicles.
Others? Xingqiu thinks there are others? That's ridiculous! This isn't some novel.
It isn't. Xingqiu won't find anyone else.
Because if Chongyun, his very best friend, doesn't remember their past life together, who would?
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The first day of high school, Chongyun is tackled from behind by a girl who smells like chili powder.
She squeezes him tight while letting out a high pitched squeal. "I can't believe it! I can't believe it!"
Xingqiu approaches, likely to save Chongyun from this overly touchy stranger. But no, Xingqiu lets out a gasp.
"I ... I know you," he says.
What.
The girl lets go of Chongyun to take Xingqiu by the hand instead. "This is the best day of my life."
"This life, you mean." Xingqiu laughs.
Xiangling. Her name's Xiangling.
She remembers, and Chongyun internally screams. He's never been so thankful he was born with a poker face.
So just like that, two becomes three. Well, more like two and a half. Xiangling has the cooking club, her family's restaurant, and even her food blog.
At first, Chongyun didn't like this intrusion. Xingqiu and him were attached to the hip, and now a girl comes along and interrupts that! His parents keep making not very subtle hints, thinking she might be his girlfriend! No!
But Xiangling is ... well, she's pure. The only thing in her head is food. She's always munching on some home-cooked snack or dragging them off to a new restaurant (Chongyun's never letting her talk him into eating Liyue/Fontaine/Sneznaya fusion cuisine again).
Xiangling is Xiangling, and Chongyun can imagine being friends with her in another life. Even if ...
"I swear, I didn't put that much ghost pepper in the ice cream! Just try a bite! One bite!"
... she keeps trying to poison him.
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By year five of Chongyun's lie, he's got a routine.
Xingqiu's been telling him about their past lives since childhood, so it's easy enough for Chongyun to pretend. He's got a list of facts he can rely on.
1. He was an exorcist. Not a very good one, apparently.
2. He had ice magic? Xiangling and Xingqiu disagree on terms.
3. He was best friends with Xingqiu. Their friend group had Xiangling, a zombie, and a girl who worked at a funeral parlor.
4. At some point, all of Teyvat was entrenched in a war. Everyone's unclear on the details.
With these four facts, Chongyun can bluff his way through any conversation. He's a naturally quiet person, so he doesn't even have to talk much. Just a simple, "I remember that" or "Mhm" gets him through most days.
But god, does it get confusing sometimes. Like now, when Xiangling asks:
"Are you two dating?"
"What kind of question is that?" Xingqiu rolls his eyes. "Obviously nothing's changed."
Xiangling giggles. "Of course. I'm not surprised. Even death couldn't separate you two!"
Chongyun swallows. A lot of people think they're a thing, but he's always denied it. They're childhood friends! FRIENDS.
(Even if he has more than platonic feelings, it's Xingqiu. Xingqiu would never feel that way toward him. Chongyun's his sidekick, his best buddy. Nothing will ever happen.)
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They start the YouTube channel six years after Xingqiu's revelation, and Chongyun's just thankful they have something else to talk about.
The first place they go to is the abandoned park they hung out with as kids. Apparently a girl went missing there a few years back, and the city slowly drained the funding.
The old park bench is still there, but half of it has rotted away.
The videos are just for fun. Ten subscribers, a hundred. Ten thousand. They hit a million before the year is over.
To be honest, Chongyun enjoys scrolling paranormal forums, hunting for their next site. He's not an avid believer, but he knows there's more out there. There has to be, to explain Xiangling and Xingqiu's memories.
After one especially scary visit ("Use your exorcist powers!" "I don't have any!"), an email shows up in their inbox.
A man named Albedo claims to have memories of his past life in ancient Mondstadt, and he's gathering people similar to him into a group. He's already got a couple others, and he provides names to prove he's for real. He even gives some facts.
(Visions? Archons? Hilichurls? And what the heck is Celestia?)
Xiangling gets a similar message in her blog. Both Xingqiu and her want to go. They want answers.
Chongyun isn't sure. This is just another chance for him to get caught in a lie.
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So. Seven years in, Chongyun can't come clean.
He can't. He really, really can't.
He lets Xingqiu do the talking with the others. Less words, less lies. Less faking.
Xingqiu just looks so happy when he talks about the past. He gets a fond look in his eyes, distant. Sometimes he looks at Chongyun, and Chongyun knows Xingqiu isn't seeing him, but who he used to be.
It shouldn't hurt. They're still friends. Best friends.
Chongyun needs to tell the truth. He has to.
But he can't. He's a coward.
But then a boy named Xiao joins the group, and he brings along a girl named Hu Tao, and for the first time, something tickles in the back of Chongyun's mind.
Hu Tao looks at him, she sees him, and Chongyun is afraid.
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Add salt to ice, and the ice will melt. Slowly, but surely.
The truth is not frozen into place. Not forever.