Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time it happens it goes completely unnoticed. ART and Murderbot are watching a new season of Counterbalance. They both really like the first season and were happy to find that the station they visited recently had just finished airing the second. They are 2 cycles into a 10 cycle wormhole trip, meaning that security can be mostly ignored for a while and ART isn’t doing much other than monitoring/adjusting travel through subspace.

So that is to say that they are both fairly relaxed and are fully immersed in the show. Murderbot is in it’s big comfy chair in its private cabin with ART leaning heavily on its feed. At some point between episode 3-6 they stop being two entities. The lines between Murderbot and ART fade, after all ART was already hanging around in Murderbots brain. This new being spends the next few standard hours viewing Counterbalance, forming opinions, feeling feelings about imaginary humans, monitoring the crew’s safety, and piloting a wormhole trip. When it gets to a scene that is entirely too sexual for Murderbot the fusion breaks, suddenly they are ART and Murderbot again. Murderbot rolls it’s shoulders (an unusual action for a construct) as if to shake off a strange feeling and proceeds to skip the scene. 

~~~~

During this wormhole trip and the next it happens again a few times. It’s enjoyable and comfortable and so similar to watching media together the normal way that they remain oblivious. 

The first time they take notice it’s crew movie night. Everyone is gathered in the argument lounge watching some B movie with a terrible plot and even more terrible effects. It’s crew is laughing periodically, it’s dark, and it has been fused since the movie started. During the course of the movie it vaguely registers feeling fondness for the humans around it, genuine amusement at the actors antics, and a slight upward tug at the corners of its mouth. These things seem normal and unremarkable at the time. Then the movie finishes and it’s crew head off to take a rest period. Mumbling sleepy goodnights in it’s general direction. As it is wont to do, it watches them with it’s cameras until they make it to their quarters. On one of these cameras it can see itself; seated comfortably in a chair, smiling. It takes that in for a moment, it’s happy so the expression makes sense. Confusion, something about that doesn’t quite add up. Anxiety, something strange is going on. These thoughts happen in microseconds and at the same time Iris sends to ARTs feed [ Goodnight Peri. ]. 

It has a microsecond to think I’m not Peri ..? before SNAP . It’s gone and in it’s place two very confused beings. Physically nothing is different, Murderbot sits up startled, smile long gone. 

“What the hell was that?” 

I am unsure.

“That wasn’t you?!”

No.

After a minute of Murderbot thinking various forms of "what the fuck", ART tentativly asks,

Did you dislike it?

Murderbots immediate reaction is "YES" but it hesitates. The experience wasn't bad, actually it was very much the opposite. It had never felt so ...good? Happy? Well that’s depressing, it thought. But it had no idea what that was, it had no idea who it was during that whatever it was. And that was terrifying.

On the feed it says,

It wasn't unpleasant, but I had no control over it. I don't even know how we did it!

It seems that I cannot access any details from my logs during the duration of the incident. The memories are there but my personal log data is corrupted.

Corrupted?

The data is present but its format is unusual. I have dedicated a significant amount of processing power to decode the information but I cannot seem to interpret it in any way. I have also found 4 other instances of similar data corruption in my logs. All of which occurred during the consumption of media. 

“Fuck. SHIT.”

Murderbot stands and makes a beline for it's room, heading immediately to the shower and standing under the spray for a long time even for a human. When it emerges the adrenaline has been fully cycled out of it's systems and it can think about the problem without wanting to stand in a closet.

ART had remained distant and quiet for the duration of the shower and even now it's presence is small and unobtrusive. Which is strange because it is usually a huge smothering beast in the feed. Murderbot sits in it's chair and considers a recharge cycle just so it can avoid thinking about whatever this is. It pings ART. ART’s metaphysical weight shifts back onto Murderbots metaphysical shoulders in the feed.

Figure out any information about what the fuck that was?

None.

ART hesitates, a feeling of fear dusting is feed. 

I would like to try it again. My emotions are entirely digital, they are code approximations of the chemical and biological parts of human emotion. Watching media with you has allowed me to update and patch certain aspects to build a more accurate model. With you i can see and read emotion from the code your organics produce and relay to the inorganic part of your brain. I cannot remember how the emotions felt during the incident, but i do remember  being able to feel them. 

…

…     What did you experience?

[What did i feel? It was ..warm? ..i was ...calm? ...it was …safe] Murderbot thinks. 

It was ...nice... I remember knowing everything that was happening on board down to each floor light and still having processing space to spare. 

The two beings exist in silence for a moment more, then Murderbot  pulls up Worldhoppers Ep1. ART starts the video.

Chapter Text

Nothing happens. For tens of cycles nothing happens. They try rewatching Counterbalance and other media they had been watching during the incidents. Nothing. They try new interesting media. Nothing. And really they didn't get to enjoy the new show anyway. Actually they have been so hyper vigilant that they aren't relaxed at all. It's no wonder that they can't fuse with ART straining and pushing to try and feel emotion again and Murderbot trying to relax and allow something to inhabit it's head.

They reach a breaking point shortly after a check up visit to a planet that their crew had freed years ago. The people were familiar with Secunits and weren’t exactly friendly with Murderbot and all it wants to do now is relax and watch media. Except it’s not relaxing when an Asshole Transport hovering eagerly over your head. 

It’s trying to think of a way to relax that is not media while wrapping up the excursion report with Seth in the Argument Lounge when ART asks out loud,

Do you want to watch Sanctuary Moon? 

“NO.” 

The awkward silence isn’t long by human standards but Seth still glances between it and the ceiling. Diverting his gaze back to the display surface he’s working on he asks,

“Is everything alright? You both have seemed a bit .. short tempered lately.”

“Everything is fine.” Murderbot says in a frustrated tone. 

It is experiencing a withdrawal of media consumption and that has made it cranky. 

“And whose fault is that?!?” It says glaring at the ceiling. 

“Okay. Clearly there is something bigger going on here. Why don’t we all just calm down for a second and not say anything we might regret later.” Seth says, a little unsure about what is going on here. 

I AM CALM. They both say at the same time with the same amount of frustration at each other. 

And oh that’ll do it. Not at all pleasant like last time. Suddenly one entity has a million other inputs, has vast amounts of processing space to build frustration in, and feels power surging through every bit of its massive form. Suddenly the Entity has a small vulnerable part of itself that is afraid, has organic parts that want to react without logic or direction, and has emotions that cannot and will not be ignored. Frustration feels like power building and building and waiting and waiting to be released. The power can’t stay where it is it has to go somewhere, Anywhere! 

Every bit of the Entity glitches, just a bit, like its attempting to reroute the power and avoid burning out any one system. But the energy levels are fine. Seth still in the room sees Murderbot twitch in sync with the lights flickering just so. In the general feed, the others are reporting about frozen screens and restarting instruments. 

The organic part of the Entity claims attention, demands its limbs, and channels the frustration, the power straight into the frame of it’s couch with a swift kick and a grunt. Gone, the buzzing surging energy is gone. Grounded, in a way, into the floor via furniture. It stares for what feels to it just a single moment, at the horribly disfigured end of the couch’s metal frame and thinks [Thank fuck thats bolted down]. 

It has a few more seconds of existence where it notices a very startled Seth who had instinctually crouched at the impact and feels embarrassment and anxiety well up. The release of the fusion happens slower this time, two entities disentangling themselves instead of a break. 

“Woah uh. Secunit? Peri? What is going on? This is getting out of control.” Seth says in his best captains voice. 

I apologize for our behavior. We have resolved the issue and will not cause further disturbances. 

“Oh no you don’t Peri. The whole crew is reporting issues with your systems, this wasn’t just some disturbance. And i don’t believe that Secunit would just kick the shit out of something if it didn’t have a reason. Secunit?”

In the feed it says, It was unintentional. ART and I are … [are what? I have no idea what that was! How the hell do you explain to a human that you.. I don’t know.. What was that old show… Star Trek?, it thinks] Have you seen Star Trek?...”

“Star Trek?” Seth asks, disbelieving. 

I believe Secunit is referring to the vulcan mind meld, though i am not sure that would be an accurate representation of the situation. 

“The vulcan… wait what? What are… are you trying to tell me that mind reading is what caused this .. outburst?”

Not exactly. In attempting to reproduce results from previous experiences we may have gotten ...carried away. 

*Sigh* "okay. Your both fine then? Peri, systems normal?"

Yes.

Yes.

"Okay, secunit you can go. Peri you are going to tell me and Martin exactly what's going on.