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It’s been a weird day.
It’s just over two months since Luca left him for school, and Alberto’s visiting him and Giulia in Genoa for the very first time.
Alberto’d nearly forgot how to walk getting off the train, he’d been so nervous. And then Luca was there, slightly taller and more freckly than he’d been but the same Luca, wrapping him in a warm, excited embrace.
It was strange, having Luca show him around Genoa. He brought him to wander the Via Garibaldi Palaces, the Cathedral of Saint Lorenzo, even to splash in the spectacular pools of the Via Balbi and Palazzo Reale. He knows so much about Genoa already, like he can’t stop learning about it. Like he belongs here.
Alberto’s used to teaching him stuff.
It’s...kind of nice, to let Luca take the lead. Especially when he’s so excited about it.
It should just be nice.
But the hollow tugging thing in Alberto’s chest he’s been steadfastly trying to ignore for over two months now aches more than ever.
He’s doing his very best to hide it.
He should be good at it.
It’s not the first time Alberto’s had to hide who he is.
But...maybe Luca notices. Because after a day brimming with adventures and meeting his school friends—and Giulia’s very sweet mother—when Giulia and the others ask if they want to go stargazing, Luca’s gaze darts to Alberto.
“Maybe tomorrow night,” he tells Giulia. “Tonight, I think Alberto and I need a swim.”
-
Alberto genuinely loves being on land, especially now that he gets to live in Portorosso with Massimo. But it feels so good to sink into the welcoming embrace of the sea, to become himself again.
It feels good to be himself with Luca again.
They dive deep and whirl through the water, weaving through corals and dodging swordfish as the sun sinks spectacularly below the horizon. It’s natural, it’s easy, and they dissolve into laughter, jostling each other as they swim until they’re tired out. They float, their fins brushing each other on the surface, gazing up at the slowly emerging stars.
“So it really looks like you’re doing okay,” Alberto says softly. “Looks like you’ve got everything you need right here.” He keeps his voice even, but he’s treading nervous circles underwater with his tail.
“Yeah!” Luca says it so excitedly Alberto flinches. “And—and you? You’re doing okay?”
“Oh yeah. Totally. You know it.”
Alberto blinks hard up at the moon. Not a fish, huh. Just another silly dream he’d held onto, apparently.
He’s so busy thinking furiously at the moon, it takes him a moment to realize Luca’s shaking.
“Hey,” he says, sitting up in the water to turn to him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” Luca says.
“Oh sure, very believable,” Alberto scoffs, circling him, “if you were a sea urchin you would’ve spiked out.”
Luca looks at him, his lip trembling, then looks away.
“I—I don’t know if I can say,” he says softly, and Alberto’s feelings surge, wretched and protective. He takes a deep breath, forcing them back. This…this isn’t about him. He just wants to help Luca.
“C’mon, it’s me,” Alberto says. Gently, encouraging. “You can do it. Silencio, Bruno, okay?”
Luca nods. He takes another moment, dips below the water, and when he breaks the surface, he cries out:
“I miss you, okay?” He splashes, his eyes big and distraught, and the hollow, hungry thing in Alberto’s chest twists. “I’m happy here, really I am, and I know you’re having the best time in Portorosso and I’m happy for you but—it feels like we’d just begun!”
“Luca…”
“I hate not getting to see you every day! The letters are good and the phone calls are better and I really, really thought I could do it, but after today? Today was the best day I’ve had in months.” He’s rocking in the water now, like he’s trying to convince himself to swim closer but can’t. “I don’t want to be selfish. But...but I don’t want to go another two months without seeing you.”
“Luca,” Alberto starts again, even though he’s not entirely sure where the sentence ends. All he knows is that Luca’s beautiful here in the sea and the moonlight, and he wants to make him feel better.
“I was wrong,” Luca says, and he does swim closer now.
“What?”
“When...when I said I have everything I need here.”
Alberto’s mouth goes dry. His stomach isn’t hollow anymore; it feels more like it’s full of eels. He knows this feeling. It’s the way his gut feels at the top of the hill, before the kickoff, before their bike plummets down, down, down toward the waiting sea.
“You don’t need me,” he says quietly, because he knows it’s true. But Luca shakes his head.
“Maybe I don’t,” Luca whispers, “but I want you.”
It’s a nervous, awkward, absolute shipwreck of a first kiss.
It’s too much and not enough and it’s slippery and silly and it feels more like flying than flying ever did, and it’s the best thing Alberto’s ever done in his life.
“Luca,” he murmurs, when they manage to pull away. “I...I want you too.”
Luca beams at him, and in that moment, Alberto doesn’t care if the moon is a space rock or a star or the biggest fish in the universe. It’s nowhere near as bright as the way this boy makes him feel when he smiles at him.
“You know, I was thinking,” Luca says. “I know we can’t afford train tickets for you very often. But—from here to Portorosso. It’s actually not a very long swim at all! So maybe...on the weekends…? Even after school some days?”
There’s no crash to this ride. Alberto still feels like he’s soaring, and maybe, with Luca, he never has to stop.
“You have the best ideas sometimes.”
“I know,” Luca grins, and kisses him again.