Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Explosions rocked far away, people were screaming. And Tommy was standing right in the middle of it. He felt like screaming, crying, yelling until his lungs gave out. His mind was reeling, he couldn’t think straight with his burning eyes and ringing ears. He looked down at his soot-covered shaking hands, covered in blood- his blood. Was he even looking at his own body?

Then there was more screaming and Tommy looked at where his brother pressed the button. It took Tommy a moment to register what he was seeing, but he felt horror and bile coming up his throat. His brother- his brother was-

What Tommy didn’t realize is that he was on a ledge and beyond that ledge was a deep void. And as he stood back in horror, he slipped, and the next thing he knew he was falling- falling and it all went black.

---

Tommy woke up. And he woke up because he was, well, hungry. His stomach growled uncomfortably and he shifted in the silken sheets. He really didn’t want to get up. All his muscles ached and he felt sluggish and weak. So, he would ignore the pangs and sleep some more.

WAIT, Tommy’s brain supplied, where are we!? Now, that was a reason for Tommy to peel his eyes open. And he was faced with a wooden ceiling. The confusion Tommy felt was overwhelming. Because how did he get here, why was he in a bed, or better yet, in a house? He was a street kid, through and through. All he had known was the streets. Not that he was complaining, the bed was nice. He could smell something cooking, and the old books that were on the bookshelf of the room he was in.

Why did it hurt to move though? The blond boy lifted his head to see that he was, in fact, covered almost head to toe in bandages. His one leg was covered in a thick cast, the other just wrapped with bandages. His left arm had a cast as well, white and pristine. He reached a shaky hand to his head to find more bandages wrapped tightly around his head.

What had happened? Tommy wracked his brain, trying to gain any sort of explanation of what happened. He was baffled, he was scared. Because the more he thought about it, he couldn’t remember what he was doing last night, or the day before that, or any day. Just blank.

This was bad. Tommy was sure of it. He needed to get out of here. The boy did his best to sit up, which was a mistake considering how bad his back hurt. And when he did he was met with a whirlpool of dizziness.

“Woah,” Tommy said out loud as he went to steady himself. He closed his eyes for a couple of minutes, trying to wait out the nauseous waves before moving again.

Then he heard the door opening, and Tommy froze. All thoughts were thrown out the window when the door opened revealing a blonde-haired woman. Her eyes met Tommy’s and the bowl she had in her hand fell to the floor. She had to be a witch. Maybe she cursed Tommy or something! Tommy’s irrational thoughts led him to scramble against the headboard.

“Stay away from me or, or,” Tommy grabbed the plant that was sitting on the bedside table. “I’ll throw this at you!”

“Tommy?” The woman asked, and had the gall to look confused, the spilled soup was forgotten. “What’s wrong?”

“You kidnapped me! That’s what’s wrong!” Tommy said, shrieking.

The woman stepped in, her head tilted. “I didn’t kidnap you. I took you to my house after the explosion, Tommy.”

Huh? Now that was odd because Tommy didn’t remember any explosion ever happening in his lifetime. Tommy just stopped and stared at her.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Tommy said out loud. The woman looked even more confused, stepping a little closer. “I don’t remember that.”

“It was a couple of days ago…” The woman looked thoughtful. “Tommy, do you know who I am?”

Tommy sputters, trying to rack his brain for who the woman is. Every time he looks at her, his mind goes blank. Like paper white blank, like nothing blank. “Uh, um, well you see, I don’t at the moment, no.”

The woman’s face morphs into horror. Tommy guesses he is supposed to know her. This can’t be good. The woman freaks out for a moment, running her hands through her hair shakily.

“It’s ok,” the woman says to Tommy, even though he is pretty sure she’s talking to herself. “We will get this figured out. Stay here!”

She runs off and Tommy looks down at his legs. He calls after her, “I don’t think I could move even if I tried, ma’am!!”

Tommy, unsurprisingly, gets no answer.

Alone now, Tommy looks around to get a better look at his surroundings. He is in a bedroom of sorts, a bookshelf in the corner, a bedside table, and a window behind him. He tries and situates himself to get a good look outside by throwing his legs over the bed. He can see the landscape of the place he is in. He must be on the second floor.

Tommy waits for the woman to come back by digging through the bedside table. He finds some stray coins, a button, and an old note. Tommy curiously opens it. It has a list of injuries, which Tommy guesses are his and date on the top. November 16, 2020. Odd.

The last lines of the doctor’s note read: Needs lots of bed rest.

Amazing. Tommy can’t wait to be entrapped in a bed for weeks. Why couldn’t he wake up when he was healed? Also, what happened to him?

Tommy hears the sounds of two pairs of feet coming up the stairs, and the woman and a new person enter the room. Tommy is instantly suspicious. The new person is wearing a colorful mask and a white lab coat. A doctor then. Or a weird doctor that will experiment on him.

“Tommy, this is Ponk, the doctor around here,” The woman explains, “And I guess… I am Niki.”

“Pog,” Is all Tommy can think to say. The doctor, or Ponk, comes toward Tommy and gets a good look at him. Ponk grabs Tommy’s head and looks into his eyes. Tommy blinks awkwardly, squirming a little bit.

“The concussion must have caused some brain damage,” Ponk tells Niki. Then looks towards Tommy again. “Tommy, can you tell me what you remember about your life?”

Tommy racks his brain. “Um, I am an orphan. I was born in Earth SMP. And apparently, I am sixteen years old?”

Ponk and Niki look at each other with an unreadable expression. It’s not a good one, that’s all Tommy can tell.

“Your earliest memory?”

Now, that was hard. Maybe because he was hungry or maybe because it was all fuzzy. Tommy did his best to think back and all could remember was… looking outside an ornate window and seeing… snow. Lots of snow. Tommy recounted this memory and Niki gave Ponk and troubled expression before going out into the hallway to talk.

Tommy did his best to listen, but it was quiet and the wall caused some problems.

“Listen, all we can do is just wait it out…” Tommy strains to hear Ponks’s voice, quieting his breathing, he catches, “ he may need more sleep.”

“You’re right,” Niki says. “I am just worried… what will…. think? Where is he anyway? Why isn’t he here?”

“Don’t bring me in this drama, bro….Has he ever been there for Tommy anyways? Have any of them?”

Niki sighs and Tommy fails to hear the rest of the conversation, getting bored and more confused. He finds himself looking out the window, watching the clouds roll past.

“Tommy?” Niki calls. He turns to see her settle on the bed next to him, looking stressed. “I have to be honest, I am not cut out for this, but it’ll be alright. You’ll remember it all eventually.”

“I hope so,” Tommy says. He asks, more importantly, “Can I have some food?”

Niki laughs lightly. “Of course you can!”

There’s a knock at the door downstairs, and Niki jumps up, bids Tommy a “i'll be right back,” and is gone again. There’s tense conversation downstairs. Tommy can hear an “act normal” from Niki before she’s climbing up the stairs and is in his room again. Niki has warm soup in her hand.

Tommy takes it greedily and shoves the soup with a spoon down his throat.

There’s a new dude, he’s shorter in stature, and stands sort of awkwardly at the threshold. His dark hair is captured in a beanie. He swings on the balls of his feet.

“Who’s he?” Tommy asks rather bluntly. Niki blinks, but the man on the threshold cackles.

“Ever the charmer! Even when he’s apparently forgotten everything!” He walks over. He stretches out a hand. “I’m Quackity. We were buddies before you forgot me.”

Tommy nods and shakes Quackitys hand. “Cool! I’m Tommy, but I suppose you know that.”

A slight bit of hesitation enters Quackitys bright eyes but is gone before Tommy can blink. “Yes, yes I did.”

After a full belly and listening to Niki’s and Quackity’s conversation, Tommy has a brain full of questions he needs answers to, but before he knows it, he’s being wrapped up in a warm blanket and drifting off.

“Well, this is a mess,” Quackity says. “Who’s going to tell everyone else?”

Niki looks at Quackity. She slowly raises a fist. “Rock, Papers, Scissors?”

Quackity nods grimly. “Best two out of three.”

Chapter Text

Tommy had a lot of questions he wanted to get answered. No drama. He could have an existential crisis about it all later/

So, a couple of days later as Tommy was getting breakfast from Niki, he got right into it. He sat straight up and gave her a determined look. “Niki, I want you to give me the answers I want if you please.”

Niki sighed as if she was expecting this. She sat down and rubbed her eyes. Tommy then noticed how tired she was. He must be hard to take care of then.

“Tommy, I will do my best to answer, but it’s such a long story,” Niki paused. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Let’s begin at the beginning,” Tommy stated like he was the smartest person ever. “Why am I here, like in this country?”

Niki gave Tommy an indecipherable look. Was it pity? Tommy didn’t like pity. It made him feel uncomfortable and weak. Like he a pitiable thing. No, he was a big man. Or maybe it was empathy.

“You were brought here with your, best friend,” Niki said. She seemed to be struggling, her jaw was taut with tension. “His name was Wilbur. Wilbur Soot.”

Tommy gave this thought. “Was he cool?”

Niki just blinked and Tommy chuckled. “I can tell he died or something bad happened to him.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Something did happen to him.” Her eyes got distant as she reminisced quietly to herself. Tommy didn’t want to push because that’s rude. “He was very cool too, Tommy.”

“That’s good! Don’t want to be friends with a wrongun!” Tommy answered. Something passed Niki’s face again and Tommy decided he didn’t like it. Her eyes dimmed a little and Tommy was desperate for a subject change. So, he asked her about her day. Then it was all good again.

Until it wasn’t.

Tommy was thumping around his room as best as he could. Ponk said to get as much exercise as possible without hurting his leg. Tommy was determined to get walking as soon as possible. Tommy was concentrating on walking to and from the bookshelf when he almost fell as he heard a big slam of a door. There was distant yelling and then someone running up the stairs.

To his room. Tommy panicked and quickly went to the bed, ignoring the sharp pains that ricocheted up his legs.

He didn’t know what to expect, but he certainly did not expect a goat hybrid bursting through his door, a look of anger on his face.

“You! Stop pretending!” The goat hybrid yelled. Tommy felt an equal amount of confusion and anger fill him.

“What do you mean, dude?!” Tommy shot back, feeling apprehensive at the sight of a new face.

“Niki said you lost your memories, and that’s why I couldn’t see you,” the boy explained. “But I think it’s because you can’t handle being seen as weak!”

Tommy sputtered. Was this guy insane? Tommy sure didn’t like being seen as weak, but it’s not like he would fake losing his memories on purpose! “Are you out of your mind? I actually don’t remember anything!”

“Stop lying!” Tubbo countered.

“Stop yelling at me you weirdo! I don’t even know who you are!”

There was a moment of pause. The goat boy looked at Tommy with a neutral expression and Tommy just stared back. Tommy looked closer at his face and could see that the right side of face was covered in burn scars. He reaches out to touch them, and Tubbo goes taut as Tommy traces the hard lines, carefully and gently.

The boy just stands there for a little more, and bursts into tears.

Tommy just sits there on the edge of his bed, awkwardly patting his shoulder as he hiccups and sniffs.

Oh boy.

Tommy genuinely doesn’t know what to say as the boy cries uncontrollably. It’s not like he can offer any encouraging words like it’s ok because Tommy doesn’t know if it will be ok. Because he doesn’t know much.

Seconds later, Niki burst in with a red hair fox hybrid hot on her heels. She sees the brunette and frowns before wrapping arms around him in a hug. Tommy just awkwardly sits there on the bed as she whispers to the boy.

Tommy tries to act like the wall is very very interesting to avoid all eye contact. Tommy can’t help but feel a little guilty for causing such distress. He knows that it’s not his fault or that he can help it, but it still feels like his fault.

The three of them move out of the room, Niki shooting Tommy a ‘I'll be back’ sort of look before disappearing into the hallway with the sniffling boy. Tommy accepts his fate and sighs. He goes to stare out the window, watching the clouds move and wondering will anything of this make sense?

It won’t, Tommy soon realizes as Niki comes in and informs of who that boy was.

“That was Tubbo, your best friend, and the president of L’Manburg.” Tommy just blinks at her as she informs him. “He’ll be around again tomorrow. He just needs time to… process.”

Tommy nods slowly, trying to process this information himself. “That makes sense, I suppose.”

Thinking about all the stuff he can’t remember makes Tommy’s head pound. Like never would he imagine having a best friend that he couldn't remember. It made him question how many other people he knew and what he missed. But everytime Tommy wants to ask, he gets this sickening feeling in his stomach, like his self-consciousness is pushing it back. Maybe because he knows it would be hard for Niki or anybody to talk about or maybe because he knows that he doesn’t want to know the truth. It’s like he’s battling with himself because the more he wants to know, the more he wants to live in bliss.

It makes him wonder if he forgot everything because of the head injury, or if something else made him forget.

“ -you can say no. Tommy, is that alright with you?” Tommy hears Niki ask. Tommy realizes that he had totally been in his own world, and just goes to shake his head. Niki sighs a little. “Alright. But I have some goods news! Ponk messaged me and said that you should be able to walk a little more. Isn’t that great?”

Tommy grins, just for Niki, and says, “That’s very pog.”

Chapter Text

Tommy woke up the sound of a bang. It was night, and Tommy felt woozy as he looked around his room. Disoriented. It was night, the slight light of the moon peeking in, casting shadows. Tommy shivered to bring the blanket up to his shoulders. Even though he had been there for more than a week, the place was unfamiliar in his eyes. Then again, he could not remember anything being familiar at all.

If he thought hard enough, maybe he could remember something about this place. But thinking made his head hurt and he laid back down.

Tommy tried to think of his earliest memories as a child. All he really remembers is running up and down the village road, a brief shot of the houses around him. He knows he is an orphan, his parents dying of some disease. Tommy’s head pounded so uncomfortably trying to remember that he just closed his eyes. He listened to the chirping of the crickets and slowly went back to sleep.

----

Tommy realizes he may have skipped a few chapters. Misunderstood a couple of things Niki was saying. Because he was very very very confused as to what was happening. Niki and Quackity were fighting. Really fighting.

“They are dangerous!” Quackity says, slamming his fist against the table. The glasses and silverware clank and Tommy can’t help to flinch where he is pushed against the wall. “They are the reason he is like this and you know it!”

Niki, from where Tommy peeked over was standing as well, face red in anger. “You are being unreasonable, as always.”

“I don’t want them here!”

“As far as I can tell that is not your call,” Niki says cooly. “That is Tubbo’s call.”

Quackity laughs cruelly. “You really think for a moment Tubbo is going to let him in here?”

“Tubbo forgave him for that.”

“You really think he’s going to forgive him for that and L’manberg?” Quackity replied. There a pause as the words sunk in. Tommy waited for the reply carefully. Niki’s voice was quiet when she replied.

“I want the best for Tommy.”

“Well, you talk to Tubbo and figure it out, but I doubt that conversation will go well for you,” Quackity said, resigned. “But hey, what do I know?”

There was the sound of footsteps and the slamming of the door. Then the house was quiet. Tommy made his way upstairs. He was confused for the most part and curious as to what they were talking about. What could elicit such a fight?

Who knows, but all Tommy was worried about was getting stuck in the crossfire. But that was quite hard for him. He would find that out soon, whether he liked it or not.

--
Niki was acting weird the next day, constantly looking out the windows, towards the doors and everything. When Tommy asked her questions she would give him a tense smile or not look him in the eyes.

Tommy left to explore after breakfast, not wanting to be in the tense environment anymore. Walking outside, Tommy could see the aftermath of the huge explosion that he had heard Quackity, Niki and others discuss quite frequently. In the middle of L’manburg was a hole, gaping, wide and deep. Looking down from the ledge, Tommy couldn’t even see the bottom of the hole. It was dark as night, and Tommy imagined it was a hole that went to the other end of the world.

Tommy did not understand what happened here, and maybe he would never. But some small part of him really did not want to. The blonde boy kept that to himself and moved on to the houses and the gardens and all sorts of places.

By the time he was done, the sun was sinking slowly across the horizon. Walking back, Tommy heard a rustling and he froze. In the distance, behind Niki’s house, he could see two shadows moving in the trees. He narrowed his eyes, before crouching behind a bin. The two figures approach Niki’s house from behind. Tommy saw the light of the door being opened reflected on the trees before it was gone.

The two figures had gone inside.

Tommy wasn’t super smart. He knew this. He did know for a fact that he definitely saw something illegal. Niki had always been her own faction. Just by the discussions she had with Quackity, she was not happy with the state of government in L’manburg. The way she wrinkled her nose and eyes would narrow at any discussion of Tubbo. Maybe she didn’t like Tubbo. Tommy did not know.

So, he stayed outside for a bit with bated breath. Waiting to hear screams or banging, instead, he heard nothing but the night wind pushing against the trees. Straightening up, Tommy approached the house with no small amount of apprehension. Afraid of what he might find.

Maybe Niki was a drug seller or something or maybe- maybe she was an assassin! Now that would be cool.

Either way, Tommy did not know what to expect. So, he pushed open the door and three heads swiveled to look at him.

First was a blonde man, who wore a funky bucket hat and a robe. He had bright blue eyes and almost pierced through Tommy’s very soul. The kicker though was he had wings. Black as night wings which were furled carefully on his back. The other man was tall, with pink hair in a braid. His face was covered in what looked like a boar mask. He was huge, not to mention, an axe casually in his hand.

“Uhhhhhhhh what’s going?” Tommy asked. Not waiting for an answer he contunued. “Listen Niki, if this is how you make money, I don’t care- honestly more power to you-”

“Tommy, what are you on about?” Niki asked incredulously.

Tommy blinked. “So, you are not an assassin?”

“What?! No!”

“Ok! Great! Good!” Tommy looked sidelonged at the two men, eyes narrowed. “Are you housing assassins?”

“Tommy, no!” Niki sighed. Carefully she replied. “These are my friends. And I hope they can become your friends too.”

Tommy looks suspiciously up and down at the men. Who look completely devoid of emotion, which scares Tommy just a tiny bit. But he stands firm.

Tommy let’s put a hand, towards no one in particular and says, “my name is Tommy Innit.”

He waits and then instead of an shaking of hands the pink haired guy steps forward.

“Stop pretending, Tommy,” he says venomously. “You think you can hide behind an act?”

“Technoblade,” the blonde man says warningly.

Tommy feels confusion flow through him as he steps back at the menacing figure.

“I don’t- I don’t understand,” Tommy doesn’t get to finish before the man, Technoblade, points into his chest, fire and anger in his eyes. Tommy feels fear curl inside his chest as he stares up into the face hiding behind the mask.

“Stop lying, Tommy!” The man bellows. The blonde man and Niki are shouting at Technoblade. He doesn’t stop. Tommy cowers, trying to open his mouth, but nothing comes out. A low buzz begins in the back is his head. He can’t feel his fingers anymore.

“You betrayed me and think you will get off scotch free huh?” Technoblade continues.

Tommy is pushed against a wall as Technoblade looms over him. Tommy feels the fear consume him wholly as he looks into the red eyes. The ringing in his ears increase tenfold, and he finds it hard to focus on any shape, eyes roaming. He does know when Technoblade steps back because the heat in air disappears.

Tommy knows nothing except it’s an escape, and he bolts.

The cold air hits him in full force, but he doesn’t care as he runs for his life. Nothing is known to him, nothing makes sense. Why was that guys yelling at him?

When Tommy’s legs burn he falls down in the grass, feeling bile rise in his throat before throwing it up.

Hot tears cascade down his face as he sits down, wrapping his arms around his legs.

Tommy realizes he wants to go home. But he doesn’t even know where home is as he rocks back and forth. Back and forth for who knows how long before the ring subsides, but he just sits there, numb.

“Tommy? Tommy!” The blonde boy hears Quackity’s voice running towards him.” Tommy what happened?”

Tommy just looks at him and Quackity blinks in surprise at his face. The man comes over to where Tommy is, crouching down slowly.

“Hey buddy, want to tell me what happened?” The words leave Quackity’s mouth and Tommy is already on him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. “Oh, woah- buddy-“

Tommy just sobs uncontrollably and talks incoherently into the older man’s shoulder. Quackity listens, rubbing his back. Then, Tommy says Technoblades name and Quackity stiffens.

“What did you just say?” Quackity asks quietly.

“Technoblade,” Tommy stammers.

Quackity pulls back, a glint in his eye. Tommy doesn’t like it. “Oh, Tommy.” He holds Tommy tightly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure that monster never hurts you again.”