Work Text:
( Lights up on KURAPIKA, leaning against a balcony railing. It’s night, and it’s quiet. KURAPIKA stares off into the distance, the drink in his hands untouched.)
(Enter LEORIO, escaping the party. His drink is almost finished. He looks up at KURAPIKA, not recognizing him from behind.)
LEORIO: Oh, sorry. I didn’t think anyone was—…here…
(beat)
Holy shit—…Kurapika? Holy shit—it’s…you. Holy fuck. Holy shit . It’s really you. How have‑…how’ve you been? Or…no, sorry…that’s dumb. I mean…you’re here. You’re actually here. And…( looking around) …here? (beat) It’s kinda funny, meeting back up in a place like this. I mean…through work. I mean…we were both off doing our own thing…kinda makes you wonder how small the world really is. I mean…I was starting to think I would never see you again. ( beat) Sorry…I’m reeling…I’m rambling on and on. I mean…come on, we haven’t seen each other in so long. You’ve gotta get me up to date. (beat. KURAPIKA does not respond. LEORIO is getting desperate.) Come on, please…just…say something. Now that I’ve got you right in front of me. Now that I know you’re alive.
(beat. KURAPIKA turns away.)
You’re doing it again. You’re fucking doing it again. I told you, every single fuckin’ time I try to tell you how unfair you’re being, you ignore it. I’m not mad, okay? I’m not yelling—! ( realizing that he’s yelling ) I’m not…I’m sorry. I’m trying. I just…you’re…you’re really important to me. And never hearing from you, knowing that you’re getting my calls, and then not knowing whether or not you’re okay…and…yeah, okay, you’re not okay. But…at least…you’re alive , you know? ( beat)
I don’t know what’d I’d do if anything happened to you. Or…I don’t know. If I lost you. Fuck, I haven’t seen or heard from you in—…what, two, three years? And I mean, at one point I gave up on expecting you to answer, but…I didn’t give up on you . I couldn’t. (beat)
( KURAPIKA is silent.)
…nothing, huh? ( he laughs) …yeah. I wouldn’t know how to respond to that, either.
(LEORIO falls silent. He finishes his drink in one go.)
KURAPIKA: I really don’t know what to say.
LEORIO: (laughing) He speaks.
KURAPIKA: I’ve been busy.
LEORIO: Yeah.
KURAPIKA: I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would upset you this much.
LEORIO: Well, it did. It does. ( beat) I’m really trying to not be mad. I mean…the last thing you need is someone screaming at you…
KURAPIKA: You don’t know what I need.
LEORIO: Would it kill you to just let me help you?
KURAPIKA: I didn’t say you couldn’t. But you can’t.
LEORIO: What, I can’t try?
KURAPIKA: No.
LEORIO: Why not?
KURAPIKA: You just can’t.
LEORIO: You don’t know that.
KURAPIKA: I do, actually. It’s a lot that I’m dealing with. You know that.
LEORIO: I do, yeah. And I want to help you.
KURAPIKA: Yeah? What are you going to do?
(LEORIO tries to respond, but he can’t think of anything.)
KURAPIKA: It’s not something I can just walk off. It’s mental illness. It’s trauma. It doesn’t go away because you want it to.
LEORIO: Of course not. I know that.
KURAPIKA: Then why are you so confident that you can fix it?
LEORIO: I didn’t say I would fix it. If I could, I would’ve done it by now. I just said that I want to help. That I want to be there for you.
KURAPIKA: …well, I’m busy.
LEORIO: You said that already.
KURAPIKA: You don’t like my answers?
LEORIO: No. I don’t.
KURAPIKA: Well, that’s too bad. Because that’s all I’m going to tell you.
LEORIO: That’s not fair.
KURAPIKA: No one said it was.
LEORIO: Kurapika, I tell you everything. I’ve always told you everything.
( KURAPIKA stares down at his drink.)
LEORIO: I just wanted to know if you were okay. And if you weren’t then I would’ve been there. I wanted to be there. But you kept pushing me away.
KURAPIKA: I…
LEORIO: Do you not trust me anymore?
KURAPIKA: …of course I do, but I—
LEORIO: It doesn’t feel like you do.
KURAPIKA: I do. But this…this was just for me to deal with, okay?
LEORIO: It’s not like you haven’t talked to me about it before.
KURAPIKA: Right.
LEORIO: I don’t get it.
KURAPIKA: I’ve just…I’ve been thinking about…what happened. I think about it all the time. And…I don’t know why after all these years…it’s hitting me. All of a sudden. That it’s real. That it really happened.
LEORIO: That…that must be hard.
KURAPIKA: And…I just keep…I keep thinking about my life, and how much I’ve lost…and how I’ll never have what everyone else does. And I see it, everywhere I go, and it’s none of my business, what other people do with their lives, but…everyone else has families. And they can…they can do everything I can’t. And when I see them…I’m angry with them.
LEORIO: It’s okay to be upset, though.
KURAPIKA: You called every day, and you left voicemails telling me how you’re doing. Our friends. Your family…
LEORIO: Oh…
KURAPIKA: I didn’t want to hear any more. And I was angry, I was jealous—and I shouldn’t have been. But hearing you laughing on the other end—
LEORIO: I was just trying to help—
KURAPIKA: —made it worse. I was…I am miserable. And hearing how well you were doing with all the people you have…it hurt. It shouldn’t have, but it did. But I didn’t want to tell you to stop calling me…
LEORIO: I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have—
KURAPIKA: I know. It’s…like a double-edged sword, I guess. Because I get to hear from you, and…and I like hearing from you…but…
LEORIO: But it made you upset.
KURAPIKA: I didn’t want to tell you.
LEORIO: If you just told me, I could’ve…I don’t know…talked about something else. Anything else.
KURAPIKA: Like what? Your exams? Because I know it’s not a girlfriend.
(LEORIO stands shocked. It was funny, but still hurt.)
KURAPIKA: …ah…that was…that was uncalled for. I’m sorry.
LEORIO: No, no…
KURAPIKA: It was. I shouldn’t have said that.
LEORIO: Really, it’s okay.
KURAPIKA: …I mean… do you…?
LEORIO: I don’t, no. Not after you left.
(KURAPIKA nods quietly, avoiding eye contact.)
LEORIO: It’s not wrong to be upset, you know. With me.
KURAPIKA: Not with you. It’s…associations, and…I don’t know. I just need to go outside, or something.
LEORIO: I wouldn’t have gotten mad, if you’d told me. I would’ve told you that it’s okay.
KURAPIKA: It’s not.
LEORIO: Well, then, I don’t care.
KURAPIKA: That’s not how it works.
LEORIO: Maybe not. I still don’t care.
KURAPIKA: …you’re too good to me. I don’t deserve you.
LEORIO: Eh, maybe not. I don’t care about that either.
KURAPIKA: Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in there? It’s really depressing out here.
LEORIO: You’re out here.
KURAPIKA: I’m the—…I’m the depressing thing.
LEORIO: No, I got that. I don’t want to leave you out here by yourself.
KURAPIKA: I’ll be fine.
LEORIO: I know you. You won’t.
KURAPIKA: Leave me alone, Leorio. You’ve got yourself to worry about, don’t you?
LEORIO: Sort of…not really.
KURAPIKA: I thought you were still in school.
LEORIO: I am, but, you know. It’s winter break. We’re both working…
KURAPIKA: Yeah. Still.
LEORIO: Still.
KURAPIKA: (holding out his drink) You want this?
LEORIO: You’re not gonna drink it?
KURAPIKA: I got it to be polite. I don’t really like the taste.
LEORIO: No one actually drinks alcohol for the taste.
KURAPIKA: Oh yeah? I’m sure many a drinker would beg to differ.
LEORIO: I’m sure. (taking his drink) Thanks.
KURAPIKA: Of course.
(A brief, quiet moment passes between them.)
KURAPIKA: Don’t let me keep you out here.
LEORIO: (drinking) Hm?
KURAPIKA: It’s a party. The night is little. (at LEORIO’s smile) Is…is that right?
LEORIO: “The night is young.”
KURAPIKA: Oh. Well…the night is young. You should head back inside.
LEORIO: I’m not leaving you alone.
KURAPIKA: I don’t feel like partying.
LEORIO: Then let me take you home.
KURAPIKA: No.
LEORIO: Then I’m staying.
KURAPIKA: You’re impossible.
LEORIO: Yep. (scooting closer to him, until they’re side by side) You do realize this is the first time I’ve gotten a peep out of you in two years?
KURAPIKA: …yes, I suppose.
LEORIO: So, keep peeping. Tell me what you’ve been up to.