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He felt his heartbeat fast in his chest as he ran across the rooftops of the city. Blues and golds flashing past him as he kept going faster and faster.
He knew he should stop, should go back home, but what for? An empty, cold house?
He made it to the edge of the city before turning around and running the other way again.
He was sick of being alone. As Chat Noir, he had Ladybug as his partner, and she cured him of his loneliness, but recently…
He slowed down and slumped down on the roof he last landed on. He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh.
It's been going on for a long time, Ladybug keeping secrets from him.
Even their whole partnership has been based on them not telling each other who the other is.
He got it, really he did. Ladybug didn't want either of them to be in danger...but why all the other secrets?
First, she didn't tell him about Master Fu. Why? They were partners, equals...weren't they? That's what she kept saying anyway. Shouldn't he deserve to know the truth of who gave him the miraculous?
He took a deep breath and shook his head. He eventually found out, and everything was fine...
But now LB was the guardian, and it feels like he is in the dark once again. But not even that, he felt...replaced.
He buried his head in his hands and took deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
He liked Rene. He thought they were a good team, and she is perfect to have the fox miraculous. She is so good that most of the time now, Ladybug doesn't even need him for her plan, or if she does, it's just to tie up a loose end.
He is just a tool in her belt, and he doesn't know how he feels about that.
Every time he feels like they are making some headway, becoming closer, she takes two steps back from him. He feels the wedge between them, and she seems farther away than ever before.
He's not blaming Rene. She is a good friend, but every time there is a Senti/Akuma attack, he goes in hoping it will be just the two of them and can't help but feel disappointed when it's not.
Maybe he's just selfish. Maybe he's just been blind to what his real role in this has been? Maybe when she told him he was her partner, she did it just to be nice?
After all, why have a mangy cat who destroys everything when you can have a sly fox who can make an illusion without any damage?
He lifted his hand and stared at his ring. He just doesn't want to be alone. Is that so bad?
He lifted his head more when a figure caught his eye from across the rooftop.
Marinette.
He felt a soft smile rest on his lips as he gazed at his classmate working away on a design.
Marinette was special. She made his loneliness go away just like Ladybug. Well, maybe even more than Ladybug since she has access to both sides of him.
She was of great help to him earlier and was so smart to put together the "two-person plan" Ladybug, and Rene came up with. Heck, she was always a help to them. If anyone deserves a Miraculous, it was her.
She was wonderful as Multimouse and did an amazing job, but his Lady refused to give it back to her. He couldn't understand why. Chat was the only one who saw her detransform, and Ladybug has given the Miraculous back to many whose identities have been revealed.
Marinette was an amazing girl. She shouldn't be sidelined! She had the potential to be great if just given a chance!
Taking a glance at his ring and another breath, he leaped off the roof and onto her balcony.
"Chat Noir!" Marinette gasped in surprise, "What are you doing here?"
"You remember a little while ago when we both were sad, and you let me hang out here?" the leather-clad superhero rubbed the back of his neck shyly, "Is it okay if I do that again?"
"Yeah, sure." Marinette frowned in confusion, "Though it might be boring, I'm just designing."
"It's okay. I just can't be alone right now." He whispered, staring at the floor.
The girl frowned more and set down her sketchbook, "Are you okay?" she asked and was startled at the sound of sniffling.
"Chat?" She stood up and walked over to him. She hesitated before placing her hand on his back and rubbed gentle circles on his back.
At the touch, he stiffened before leaning into her touch. He felt a purr threaten in his throat but suppressed it as he choked back a sob.
"I'm sorry." he whispered, "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Shh." she sat next to him, still rubbing his back, "It's okay to cry." she smiled at him softly, "though I am confused as to why you came to me."
"We're friends, aren't we?" he asked, his voice shaky as he looked up at her with his tear-filled eyes, "I think I saved you more than anyone."
He watched as her eyes widened before softening and nodding, "Yeah, we're friends."
"I don't really have anyone else to talk to right now," he murmured, his gaze shifting to the floor again as he wiped his eyes.
"What about Ladybug?" she asked him, "Aren't you best friends?"
"I thought so.." he sighed, "but it seems nowadays I'm just the fool who gets in the way of her plans."
"That's not true!" she cried, before quickly adding, "Is what I'm sure she would say if she were here."
He cracked a small smile before looking out at the dark street of Paris, "I know she would. She's too kind to admit the truth."
They both sat in silence as he got his emotions under control. He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath as he felt Marinette’s fingers wander up and down his back.
After a few minutes, she paused her hand to give him her full attention, “What's going on in that catnip-filled brain of yours?” she asked, slipping in a joke to try and get him to laugh.
He gave her a weak smile before letting out a sigh, “I’m just tired...my life has always been a lonely one, and being Chat Noir gave me a break of that…” he stood up and started to pace in front of her, “but recently...it feels like it doesn’t matter if I’m there or not.”
He didn’t mean for it all to tumble out of him, didn’t want to burden her with his feelings, but it was too late.
“Ladybug is amazing, and Rene is really good at the hero work...but…” he rubbed his arm, “I’m just tired of being pushed aside.”
“Chat…”
“I must sound so selfish.” he closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, “Just one more reason I don’t deserve my Miraculous….”
“Chat Noir.” Marinette interrupted, “you do deserve the miraculous. You may joke and may not be serious at times, but you care about Paris and those you save.” she stood up and walked over to him, “Ladybug would be lost without you.”
“She would be fine.” he played with the ring on his finger before looking at her, “Marinette, I need to tell you something….”
“W-what is it?” She looked at him with a frown, taken aback by how serious he’s being.
“I’m scared.” he whispered, “recently I’ve been feeling this...anger inside me. I’ve lashed out, broke things...I’m scared that if it gets worse, I can seriously hurt someone.”
“Chat, I’m sure you wouldn’t, and if you did, Ladybug--”
“Can fix it?” he nodded, “That’s what I’ve been telling myself, but what if it’s her I hurt?” he leaned against the railing and sighed, “I couldn’t live with myself….”
“Chat…”
“So I was thinking…” he licked his lips and turned to face her, “I want to give my miraculous to you.”
“W-what?” she gasped, “Chat no, I-i can’t.”
“You were amazing as Multimouse!” He took her hand in his, “Marinette, you are perfect to be a Miraculous holder, and I know in your hands it would be safe.”
“W-what would Ladybug think of you just giving it away?” She stuttered, backing away.
“It doesn’t matter.” he shook his head, “I believe in you, and you should have never been sidelined and overlooked.”
“I can’t take it.” She shook her head quickly, “L-ladybug offered me the M-mouse Miraculous again, but I told her “no.”
“You did?” his eyes widened, “Why?”
“I couldn’t handle it.” She bit her lip, 'I'm clumsy, a-and I’m just not cut out to be a hero.’
“Ladybug thought the same in the beginning.” he smiled slightly, “but just like her, I know you can do it.”
“I think I can only handle being an “Everyday Ladybug.” she placed her hand on top of his, “It’s sweet that you thought of me, though. Really, I do appreciate it.”
He smiled at the title he gave her, “Then I guess I’ll have to give it back to Ladybug, and she can choose a new Black Cat.” he sighed.
“How can she when she already has the best?” Marinette raised an eyebrow and cocked her head.
“But I just get in the way! What if I hurt someone? What if I become angry and akumatized?” he threw his hands up, “I know I’m close to breaking. I can feel it.”
“And you don’t think Ladybug isn’t either?” Marinette lowered her head, “Chat, Ladybug needs you more than you realize. Sure, you’ve got Rene on the team now, but that doesn’t mean you are any less important to her. You’re her best friend, and with a friendship like that, it’s worth fighting for.”
He looked down and sighed, “I suppose you’re right…” he looked at her, “I’m just tired of being in the dark about everything in my life. My father is keeping something from me, now Ladybug...am I not trustworthy?”
“No! You are the most trustworthy person I know!” She bit her lip, “I mean, you seem like someone trustworthy, not that I know you well or anything except for those few times….”
He chuckled and smiled at her, “You’re funny, Marinette. Thank you for cheering me up.”
“Of course, Kitty.” she said softly, “I hate to see you sad.”
He blinked at the nickname but shrugged it off. “Well, I suppose I should get going and leave you back to designing.”
“Chat Noir, wait.” Marinette stuck her hand out and grabbed his arm. He looked at her and cocked his head to the side, “No one can ever replace you. Ladybug might not be using you as much as she was, but please be patient with her. You are her partner, and if it bothers you so much...you should talk to her.”
He patted her hand on his arm and nodded, “Goodnight, Princess.”
“Goodnight, Chat.”