Chapter Text

Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings

Will You Kneel For Love?

Four weeks, 3 days, and 12 hours. That was how long it had been since Magnus had left him outside of Max’s sickbed. Eight was the number of letters Alec had written, apologizing. 35 voice messages. 41 fire messages that had been ignored.

Alec no longer tried to reach Magnus, his desperation having turned to depression and a deeper self-hatred than he had ever felt before. He didn’t feel Magnus should forgive him. He didn’t feel Magnus should settle with him. Magnus deserved more, deserved better, than him. A part of Alec had always felt that, feared that, known that. Now he just saw it as an ultimate truth, a certainty of life.

Izzy and Jace had tried to cheer him up, claiming it wasn’t his fault, both of them angry with Magnus for having left him like this. However, none of them understood how Alec felt. Before he had met Magnus, he had survived, but never truly lived. Meeting Magnus had been like waking up from a dream. A dream he had ruined by choosing the Clave, Idris, his own people, before Magnus. Looking back, he wasn’t even sure why he had done that. The Clave had never been good to him in any way or form. He knew even now the fact he was gay was only somewhat tolerated due to his family name and that was just barely. If he thought about it, he could come up with reasons; he had been trained as a Shadowhunter since birth. He had been taught blind obedience and painful punishments for disobeying. He had deep down never thought he would ever be happy; a part of him had always expected Magnus to leave him, to not want him any longer. A part of him had just waited for it to happen. To Alec, Magnus was like the sun, bright, amazing, drawing people in. He was the black-clothed, grumpy, depressive, and invisible shadow. And everyone knows… the sun does not love shadows; it chases them away.

His parents had claimed Magnus leaving was what was best for him. That Magnus had never been serious with him. He didn’t want to believe it but as time passed and Magnus never even once reached out to him, he was starting to think they were right. And why should Magnus be serious with him? Magnus had been his first everything and he had been Magnus’ 5000^th something. All his life Alec had been taught, painfully, that no one wanted second best. That practice was all there was. Of course, he had failed at relationships and everything else as he hadn’t known anything. He had been an idiot to think he could ever be right for Magnus, ever be good enough.

He had tried to focus on the coming war, to chase away all thoughts and memories of Magnus with that single-minded focus. However, the whole Institute had memories of Magnus everywhere, It was like a ghost following him wherever he went. What little sleep he got only came after hours of exhausted training, increasingly not even bothering to try and not injure himself. He knew Jace felt it, worried about it, but he always made sure to heal the injuries from overtraining in the morning, before going to his office.

When Magnus had joined the Seelie Queen and looked at him as if he didn’t exist at the last Council meeting he had arranged, Alec had thought he should die. He had barely made it through the day before he had broken down in his room, crying bitterly for his loss. He had hated himself so much that night that overtraining hadn’t been enough. He had cut himself on his inner thigh, needing the scars, the pain, to punish himself for being such a fool. A fool for losing Magnus, for ever choosing anything above him. He had cleaned the scars and put a bandage on the wounds, but he hadn’t healed them. They were fading now, the scars, but the constant pain had been a reminder to him of what he had done, what he had lost. Of what he could never have.

Alec had thought all chances of peace lost. With the Seelie Queen siding against helping them, Alec saw little hope. Not that he could honestly blame her; the Nephilim race had again and again proven to the Downworld they couldn’t be trusted. Furthermore, while he was desperate for a united front, a step towards peace, fact was that Valentine was a product of his time, of his people…of Idris. Valentine had simply said out loud what the majority of Nephilims felt. True, many Nephilim didn’t want to get their hands bloody and murder all demon-blooded themselves, but they would for sure not cry if they were all gone one day. Most Nephilim at best saw Downworlders as unruly children…and worst like Valentine as a threat, as vermin to be exterminated.

He had therefore been incredibly surprised to put it mildly when the Seelie Queen had sent a fire message to the Institute, inviting them to talks under a banner of truth at her court in the Seelie Realm. She asked that twelve Nephilim attend; key Clave officers, Maryse, Jace, Clary, Simon whom she had grown oddly fond of and himself. He had of course been suspicious, but fact was, he couldn’t afford to say no. If there was even the smallest chance of peace he would take it.

Alec had both hoped and feared Magnus would be with the Queen at her Court, longing to see him but also knowing how deeply it pained him to see the Warlock so cold and distant with him. He knew he deserved it, had earned this pain, this punishment, but it still broke him that bit further.

The Queen had sent her Knights to escort them to her throne room from the portal. When they all entered, she sat there waiting for them, Magnus standing by her right-hand side, looking emotionless, expressionless. Just like at the Council meeting. Alec sank at the sight, longing to touch him, to be be given the chance to, again, apologize.

It was with great effort that Alec managed to focus on the Queen herself. It was only thanks to his warrior training that he even registered that the Knights took defensive positions by the walls and that the Queen had two ladies in waiting on her left side near her throne, ready to do her bidding just as Magnus was. All Alec’s senses revolved around Magnus and the very sight of him made his heart beat faster and his soul ache with longing.

“Alexander Lightwood,” the Queen greeted, her eyes sweeping over the others behind him but settling on him.

Alec did a respectful bow, seeing Jace come to a stop just behind him, the others staying a bit further back.

“Thank you for inviting us, Your Highness,” Alec said formally, fighting to keep his tone even and his eyes only on her despite the pain seeing Magnus was bringing him.

“We are fascinated by you, Alexander,” the Queen said, giving him a thoughtful look.

For a moment Alec had to fight himself to stop from screaming hysterically. The Queen had called him here with everyone of importance, of influence, in Idris as witnesses, because she was fascinated by him?! He had convinced everyone to come, claiming it was a chance for peace and here she was simply curious about him?! He could almost feel everyone looking at him, judging him. Damnit. He had lost enough credibility already. How could he have been this stupid?! The Queen was precisely crazy enough to take a time out from a coming war to ask questions that took her fancy of fleeting mortals that interested her.

“How so, Your Highness?” Alec asked, fighting for a calm and neutral tone.

“You claim to want peace, equality in the Shadow World,” the Queen said, her tone making the statement a question.

Alec took a deep and calming breath before he replied, “Yes, I do, Your Highness.”

“What if you can only have one of the two?” the Queen asked, giving him a curious look.

Alec’s eyes narrowed, sensing the danger in her words, “What do you mean, Your Highness?”

“Peace or equality?” the Queen elaborated.

Alec knew how the Seelies loved word games and the Queen was a master of them. He therefore considered his answer carefully and used one of the Seelies known tricks; answering a question with a question.

“Who will be unequal, Your Highness?”

The Queen gave a knowing smile, seeing what he was doing.

“You can’t know that.”

Alec knew better than not to respond. They were all in her Realm and at her mercy. He kept trying to catch Magnus’ eyes, but he was purposely avoiding looking at him, making Alec feel a stab to his heart each time Magnus refused to even look in his direction. Although in some ways that was kinder…kinder than seeing emptiness, coldness or worse…anger, pain, and resentment in his eyes as he had seen in his eyes the day Magnus had left him.

“I choose peace then, Your Highness,” Alec replied slowly, thoughtfully.

“Why?” the Queen demanded.

“If there is peace there is the foundation for creating equality for all. Without peace we won’t be able to focus on that,” Alec explained.

The Queen nodded, thinking his reply over. She then waved an elegant hand towards Magnus

“I asked Magnus here to choose between you and his people. He chose his people. What will you choose?” she asked interestedly.

Alec saw the question for the trap he was sure it was as he calmly replied, “I respectfully reject the choice.”

This time his reply surprised her so much it showed on her face. However, she masked it quickly, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t believe the Warlocks are saved by siding with you. I think the only way we can all win is by working together to get rid of Valentine,” Alec explained with certainty.

The Queen was silent for a moment, thinking over his reply over.

“What would you do to get me to side with you against Valentine together with my allies?” the Queen challenged.

Alec was not stupid enough to offer everything or anything at all.

“What do you want, Your Highness?” Alec asked guarded.

“I have a theory that Nephilim always chooses their own in the end,” the Queen reminded him.

“I recall your test on Clary, yes,” Alec said as calmly as he could.

The very idea of the Queen having toyed with strangling Jace, hurting him, was upsetting to Alec to put it mildly, but he fought down his anger at the Queen for having done that, focusing on the here and now. And Simon too he supposed….

The Queen gave Clary the briefest of glances, her interest in her long gone now that she had completed her test and given the result she expected.

“She supported my theory. Will you?”

“What precisely is the test?” Alec asked with barely controlled frustration. He was getting tired of her games and just wanted to leave since she clearly didn’t want to talk about the war as she had claimed. At least not in the way he had wanted or hoped for.

“It is a well-known fact among Downworlders that Nephilim consider themselves superior to us. Do you, Alexander, consider yourself better than us?” the Queen challenged.

“Not by default, no,” Alec couldn’t help but reply, starting to lose his patience.

The Queen smiled at that and leaned back on her throne.

“I am enjoying sparring with words with you, Alexander,” the Queen concluded, as if she were revealing a huge secret.

“I am glad to be entertaining,” Alec remarked dryly.

The Queen smiled at that, but it was a dangerous smile.

“I shall give you a test then,” the Queen decided.

“What’s the test?” Alec asked cautiously.

“If you kneel before the one you truly love, here and now, in front of everyone, swear your obedience and prove it…then I shall join you if I consider your choice, your vow, and your submission true,” the Queen challenged.

Alec was stunned into silence for a moment, unsure what to think of that. He knew Magnus knew he still loved him; he had done nothing but mention that in all his communications. He had already humiliated himself every way from Sunday to try and get Magnus back, so he didn’t really care about kneeling for him. However, he was well aware of how Idris would see it. He now understood why the Queen had insisted he brought along the people he had done; she wanted his choice to be clear, obvious, and with no going back. If he did do this, if he did choose Magnus, knowing Magnus didn’t want him, he would have nowhere to go. Idris would not, could not, trust him as leader of the Institute, as anything, if he had sworn allegiance to a Downworld leader, to Magnus Bane. He would lose his position, his influence…everything if he did this. And for what? For the off chance that this time Magnus would believe him?!

“You already know my true love as you gave him the same test, Your Highness,” Alec reminded her, stalling desperately for time.

Alec tried to catch Magnus’ eyes, but he still wasn’t looking at him, his body language closed and his expression cold and distant. Alec could feel Jace’s worry for him in the bond, and he sent calming thoughts back to him.

The Queen nodded towards Jace who was still standing just behind him to his right.

“The love for a parabatai can be overshadowing. It is a sharing of souls,” the Queen reminded him with a knowing look. “Choose one and say goodbye to the other.”

Alec knew what she meant; even though his bond with Jace would remain then if he chose Magnus, he would no longer go on missions with Jace. He would no longer have a place at the Institute alongside Jace. However, as Alec looked at Magnus, felt the pain and longing in his heart, he could no longer recall why running the Institute had ever mattered to him. Had it even ever mattered to him? Or had that always been his parents’ dream, his mother’s dream for him? As Alec looked at Magnus, he knew what his own dream was and had always been. He wanted to love and be loved. He wanted a family. He didn’t care about power, influence, or anything like that. He wanted a world wherein he didn’t have to choose, where he could love freely.

Alec first realized Jace had moved closer when he was whispering into his ear, “Alec, if you do this…you can’t return to running the Institute. You know that.”

Alec could see, hear, and feel Jace’s worry. While Jace supported Alec and his love for Magnus, he was clearly afraid, as Alec was, that if he did choose Magnus it would be for nothing. That Magnus would still not forgive him. However, Alec realized that that wasn’t important. That wasn’t what love was about. Love wasn’t a give and take, a transaction. Love was this; complete and all-consuming. He knew what he had to do; he had known from the start. He had once not chosen Magnus before his job, his career, his people. It had cost hm everything. He would not repeat that mistake, no matter what.

“I know,” Alec whispered, giving Jace’s arm a reassuring squeeze.

“This test is meaningless. The Queen has clearly decided. Let’s leave, Alexander,” Maryse ordered, a hint of worry in her voice, clearly afraid Alec would choose Magnus and she would see everything she had built for her oldest child disappear.

Alec shook his head at his mother, his mind made up. He turned to look at the Queen, ignoring the fear, shock and disapproval in his mother’s face.

“Your Highness, do I have your vow you will fulfill your end of the deal if I go through with mine?” Alec asked calmly, feeling oddly at peace now that he knew what he was going to do.

“Yes,” the Queen promised, giving him a piercing look, clearly looking forward to seeing these next minutes play out as if it was a movie and not Alec’s whole life.

Alec took a deep and calming breath, his eyes only on Magnus. He still wasn’t looking at him, but Alec could have sworn there was a hint of pain, of vulnerability in his stance, as if he expected Alec to choose his own people, choose Jace. Choose anything else but him.

“Alexander, don’t do it! Lightwoods don’t submit and certainly not to a Downworlder!” Maryse warned sharply.

“Careful, Maryse Lightwood. You are in my Court and as an Immortal my memory is long. I recall you being Valentine’s second during the Uprising and who knows…maybe even now,” the Queen cautioned.

Maryse gave the Queen a dark look, shocked by the accusation,

“I am not with Valentine!” Maryse insisted sharply.

The Queen ignored her as she looked at Alec, “Alexander, make your decision or leave my Court the same way you came.”

Alec hated to be forced into this, to be put on the spot. But as he looked at Magnus his mind was made up. He had never been in doubt; he had always known what his choice would be. Magnus. Only ever him. He looked at Jace, hoping he could understand him from his feelings in the bond. When Jace gave him a small nod and encouraging smile, sending warmth and comfort through the bond, Alec knew he did, and he smiled back.

The whole world faded from view as Alec walked the short distance over to Magnus. Finally, Magnus looked at him, his eyes showing shock and surprise when Alec stopped in front of him, kneeling on one knee for him in one fluid and graceful motion. Alec ignored the gasps of shock and disgust from his fellow Nephilim, his eyes intense on Magnus as he looked up at him.

“Magnus, I’m so sorry I hurt you. I still love you, I always will,” Alec said softly, emotionally, looking up at Magnus, trying desperately to get him to look back at him.

“Say the words, Nephilim,” the Queen ordered. She gave him a dark smile as she added, “Show your commitment. Show your submission. All or nothing, Nephilim.”

Alec took a deep breath, ignoring his anger at her and focusing on his love for Magnus. The Warlock was everything to him and he was going to prove it.

“Magnus Bane, I pick you over my people,” Alec said strongly, surely, wanting to touch him but not daring to reach for his hand just yet. He took a deep breath, looking up at Magnus pleasingly, hoping he would avert his eyes and look at him finally, “You are the one I love. I am yours to do with as you please.”

Alec only saw the brief flare of joy in Magnus’ eyes at his words, the shock and horror from his fellow Nephilim ignored. However, Magnus was quick to hide his joy behind his mask of indifference, making Alec fear he truly was too late. That he had lost everything.

“Well, Magnus, seems you may have gotten a loyal puppy Nephilim,” the Queen said humorously, waving a hand towards Alec.

Alec winced a bit at her words but stayed where he was. He didn’t care what anyone else thought of him; he only cared for Magnus thought of him,

Magnus barely avoided looking at Alec kneeling before him, turning his attention to the Queen.

“Your Highness, this is meaningless. He will clearly do anything to sway us,” Magnus told the Queen, ignoring the hurtful look in Alec’s eyes at his words, the accusation.

“True,” the Queen agreed thoughtfully. After a brief pause she decided, “Well, test his commitment then.”

“What? How?” Magnus asked, confused.

The Queen looked at Alec as she ordered, “Nephilim, look at me.”

Alec did so at once. His humiliation and embarrassment forgotten and gone when he reminded himself this was for Magnus; to prove to love to him.

“I have decided we shall dine together. You will kneel by the Warlock now and during the meal, not speaking unless spoken to and not moving unless ordered to. Do you understand?” the Queen ordered, giving him a challenging look to see if he would actually do it.

Alec ignored his embarrassment at the idea of sitting by anyone’s feet like that, ignored everything else. Wasn’t Magnus worth it? wasn’t Magnus worth being shown such respect, such love?

“Yes, Your Highness,” Alec said strongly, unwavering in his commitment.

Magnus gave him a searching look, shaking his head at him, a look of clear disbelief on his face.

“Alexander, you don’t need to keep this pretense up. Just walk away,” Magnus told him, sounding annoyed and frustrated.

Alec wanted to reply but forced himself to stay silent, remembering his orders. Instead, he tried to convey his love to Magnus in his eyes and expression. However, Magnus just kept looking at him, not understanding him.

“Magnus, silly Warlock, he wasn’t allowed to speak unless spoken to, remember?” the Queen reminded him.

Magnus nodded, surprised not that she remembered but that Alec did it. He looked at Alec intensely, seeing he was indeed trying to answer him silently. Only, Magnus didn’t dare believe what he thought he could read in Alec’s silent communication.

“Alexander, you can answer me,” Magnus ordered, his pain making his words cold and cutting.

Alec winced at his tone but kept his eyes focused on Magnus.

“I meant what I said in the past and in every one of my messages to you since you left. I do love you,” Alec told him honestly, giving him a powerful and meaningful look, hoping to reach him.

Magnus’ mask finally fell a bit and the pain in his eyes was devastating, cutting Alec’s heart to pieces.

“You lied to me, chose your own people before me! Why should I believe you won’t do that again?” Magnus accused darkly, pained.

Alec winced in anguish at his words.

“I didn’t mean to!” Alec objected in a low distressed voice.

“Really?” Magnus challenged ominously, his pain making his anger seem to resonate as loud as a scream.

Alec was about to say more, explain more, when he realized it didn’t matter what he had meant to or wanted to do. He had done wrong, and he had hurt Magnus, a painful fact he was still struggling to accept and live with.

He gave Magnus a soft and sad look as he said in a small and broken voice the one thing he had said again and again but it was really all he could say, “I’m sorry.”

“Alec, let’s leave. This is ridiculous!” Jace insisted, feeling Alec’s humiliation as if it was his own and wishing to shield him from it.

“Come, Alexander,” Maryse insisted firmly.

However, Alec ignored them both, trying again to send reassuring feelings towards Jace while his eyes stayed on Magnus, and he remained kneeling in front of him.

“Seems your Nephilim has chosen,” the Queen finally replied, sounding a bit surprised herself at that fact.

“Alexander, you can’t possibly want to stay here!” Maryse insisted angrily, a bit fearfully.

“Alexander, look at me,” the Queen ordered. When Alec did so she went on, “You can stay here….and belong to Magnus in all ways.” The Queen waved towards the other Nephilim in the room as she added temptingly, “Or…you can leave now, with them, with your own people. What do you choose?”

Alec took a deep breath; well aware he had no clue what kind of belonging the Queen meant but he also realized he didn’t care. Being Magnus’ was all he had ever wanted for himself. This time he would choose for himself and maybe, hopefully, by doing that, by choosing love, he would also do right by the Shadow World overall.

“I choose to stay, Your Highness,” Alec told her firmly.

Magnus shook his head at him while Alec could hear the shocked sounds from his own people.

“You really care that much about peace?!” Magnus asked angrily.

“No!” Alec objected hotly. He gave Magnus a pleading look as he added desperately, intensely, “I care that much about you!”

“Really?” Magnus challenged, a hint of hope starting to form in his eyes but clearly not ready to believe him.

Alec took a deep and calming breath as he tried again, “I love you. That is why I stay.”

Magnus gave him a suspicious look, clearly still not convinced.

“As my slave?” Magnus asked in a dark tone.

Alec wasn’t sure if it was a test or not. He should likely care about that. But he didn’t.

“As whatever you want me as,” Alec answered honestly.

His reply shocked Magnus so much that his mask fell and his hope, pain and something else, something warm, showed on his face and in his eyes.

“You….Love me that much?” Magnus asked in a small voice, filled with hope.

“Yes!” Alec confirmed strongly, exasperated. His voice and expression softened as he repeated, “I love you.”

“And you want to belong to me?” Magnus went on, a small smile slowly starting to form around his lips.

Alec nodded, starting to smile himself, “Yes.”

“You truly don’t mind kneeling for me?” Magnus asked, needing to be sure, waving a hand at Alec’s kneeling form.

Alec shrugged as he replied honestly, giving Magnus a look filled with love and affection, “Why should I? I worship you in my heart, why not show that?”

Magnus beamed like the sun, all barriers and masks finally gone.

“Come here,” Magnus ordered, reaching out a hand to him.

Alec smiled joyfully as he let Magnus help him up. As soon as Alec was on his feet, Magnus pulled him into a passionate kiss.

The whole room observed the kiss in a stunned silence.

“Seems, surprisingly, that the Nephilim has chosen and for the first time in my life a Nephilim has not chosen his own kind,” the Queen admitted, something dangerously close to admiration in her voice as she watched Magnus and Alec kiss.

“What about Valentine, Your Highness?” Jace asked since Alec was still too busy kissing Magnus to ask the question that had brought them here.

“I will keep my part of the bargain. I will join you and we will defeat Valentine together,” the Queen decided.

Jace gave her a grateful look, aware this was indeed the first step towards peace, unity…and defeating Valentine and the Circle with minimum losses on both sides.

“Thank you,” Jace said sincerely, his distrust for her forgotten for a moment.

“You and your people may leave now,” the Queen insisted, waving him off.

“And Alec?” Jace asked, nodding towards where his parabatai and Magnus were still kissing. Jace wondered if they soon would run out of air.

“He belongs to Magnus Bane now,” the Queen said firmly after giving the couple a brief glance. She gave Jace and the other Nephilim behind him a warning look as she added, “As such he is under my protection as the Warlocks are under my general protection.”

Her statement was met with shock and surprise; there had never been a Nephilim under the production of the Downworld, of the Seelie Queen, before in this manner. Jace was unsure what to say to that, not wanting to leave Alec but not wanting to jeopardize a chance at peace.

“Come, Jace. He knew what it would mean to do this,” Maryse insisted, pulling at Jace’s arm

Jace tore himself free and gave her an angry look.

“I won’t leave him. He’s my parabatai!” Jace insisted strongly.

His outburst ended Alec and Magnus’ kiss. Magnus stroked Alec’s cheek tenderly and they both turned to watch the Nephilim, Magnus putting a possessive and protective arm around Alec’s back. Alec smiled at the gesture and leaned against Magnus, feeling safe and calm for the first time since Magnus had left him.

“He knew this meant he can’t return with us. He would no longer be respected or welcomed at the Institute. He has nowhere to go,” Maryse reminded Jace, giving Alec a sad look, clearly considering him lost to her now.

“He has somewhere to go,” Magnus said strongly. He gave Alec a soft look as he added, “He will be with me. Always.”

“Alec?” Jace asked uncertainly, unsure if Magnus truly meant always but not ready to ask that yet with all the changes going on at the moment.

Alec looked at Magnus questioningly and only then did Magnus remember he had been ordered not to speak unless allowed to.

“You can answer him,” Magnus permitted, his eyes filled with awe that Alec still followed everything he had been told so diligently, clearly determined to show he meant it, that he wanted to do this.

“Go, Jace. I’m fine,” Alec insisted, giving Jace a reassuring look. He looked up at Magnus, smiling softly as he added, “More than fine in fact.”

Jace could feel Alec’s calm in the bond, his joy, soothing him, enabling him to do just that.

“Go on, Nephilim. Off you go,” the Queen ordered, waving at them to leave as if they were irritating flies.

“I will see you again, Alec,” Jace swore.

Alec nodded, smiling encouragingly, their shared look a vow for precisely that.

Maryse looked back once as they all left whereas Jace looked several times and probed the bond, needing to be sure Alec was truly safe and happy with his choice. Alec kept nodding encouragingly to Jace and sending him calming and reassuring feelings in the bond.

“Are you sure you are ok with this, Alexander?” Magnus asked Alec seriously, giving him an intense look when all the Nephilim had left, and the Knights had gone with them to escort them to the nearest portal.

Alec nodded, smiling happily and contently at Magnus.

“I am sure,” Alec replied with certainly. He put his arms around Magnus’ neck and smiled wider in joy when Magnus put his hands on his hips in response, pulling him close.

“I love you. I get to be yours and I made peace, hopefully enabling the downfall of Valentine. I am more than sure,” Alec went on emotionally, fighting to keep back tears of joy.

“I want you to know that I never stopped loving you either. Not once,” Magnus admitted softly, fighting to dare open his heart again.

Alec smiled brilliantly at hearing that, so overwhelmed at the words that he kissed Magnus passionately, intensely, trying to show him all his love in that one kiss.

The Queen watched them kiss with rare fond amusement. It wasn’t often she was surprised; it wasn’t often she predicted wrong. Being immortal, she had thought she had seen it all, she had known it all. Alec had surprised her; he had done something no one else had ever done. He had chosen a Downworlder before his own people. In the end it wasn’t Clary or Jace’s pure Angel blood that would change the Shadow World. It would be Alec’s love for his Warlock.

Chapter Text

Please read chapter notes for detailed warnings

Chapter 2: The Warlock’s Husband

Valentine and Jonathan stood no chance against a united and coordinated attack by Idris and the Downworld. The Circle was defeated and their allies in Alicante were flushed out. Jace played a key role for the Nephilim forces whereas Alec stood by Magnus' side, with the Downworlder warriors, quickly being considered a key Downworld leader and general. To encourage the collaboration between Idris and the Downworld the Clave had wisely decided to send Jace, Clary, Andrew and other young Nephilim to talk to the Downworld leaders and coordinate the battles as almost all of the older generation of Shadowhunters had been involved with the Circle to a smaller or larger degree. Alec attended those meetings together with Magnus and the other Downworld leaders. While he was happy to see Jace and his siblings, the setting had always been formal, preventing any personal talk between them.

Despite Alec and Jace knowing in the bond the other was safe and seeing each other in formal settings, they both missed being near, missed the other part of their soul, missing fighting together.

Almost three months after the events at the Seelie Realm and a few weeks after their victory over Valentine, Jonathan, and the Circle, Jace had been happily surprised to get a fire message from Alec, inviting him to come visit him and Magnus at Magnus’ loft. It was not just because the war had kept them busy that they first met now in a private setting. Jace had nowhere to invite Alec as he lived at the Institute where Alec was no longer welcome as anything else than an ally to the Downworld. Jace could have invited Alec to meet him in the Mundane world, on neutral ground, but he had needed time to accept Alec's decision. Not that he loved Magnus or had chosen him and his people over his own. Jace didn't care about that. What had taken Jace time to realize was that Alec hadn't left him, hadn't betrayed their parabatai bond. He had followed his heart and Jace knew Alec's heart was big enough for them all. So, he had waited till Alec was ready to meet in a social setting, realizing that Alec too needed time. Time to reconnect with Magnus, time to learn about his new people, Magnus' people. When Jace had come to terms with this and he had sent love and support to Alec through the bond, he had felt the same back from Alec right away. 

The one thing Jace noticed as soon as Alec opened the front door to the loft for him was that he seemed to glow with happiness. He also looked healthier; clearly Magnus helped remind him to sleep and eat, something he sometimes forgot if he was worried or really focused on a task. 

They embraced warmly for a moment, enjoying seeing and feeling the other was well and safe. As they drew apart Jace did notice one difference on Alec; he was wearing a thin black choker that seemed to have magical fiery letters and symbols on it that Jace couldn’t read; he guessed it was a demonic language Warlocks used for spells and chants.

“What’s that?” Jace asked directly, with a hint of worry, nodding to the choker.

Alec smiled reassuringly as he touched the choker fondly, “It symbolizes a bonding.” At Jace’s puzzled look he searched for a term Jace would understand, “It is like marriage but for Warlocks.”

"I missed your marriage?" Jace asked, hurt and surprised.

Alec put a reassuring hand on Jace's arm as he explained, "We are planning to have a party to celebrate, but a Warlock bonding can't be witnessed by outsiders. It is a very private and intimate affair."

"Oh. Ok then," Jace said, relieved to hear he hadn't been excluded. He gave Alec an admiring look as he added, "You truly went all in then?"

Alec nodded, smiling fondly as he said, "I am proud to stand by Magnus and follow his ways."

Jace could tell Alec meant it and that was really all that mattered to him. He didn't need to understand Warlock ways nor consider if he could truly claim he would have been able to do the same for love. All he had to do was accept Alec's choice, a choice that clearly made him happier than he had ever been.

"Congratulations then. I am happy for you," Jace said heartfelt, making Alec give him a wide smile.

Just then Magnus went into the hallway, nodding in greeting to Jace. He reached Alec and embraced him warmly, giving him a loving kiss.

“I heard you asked about the choker. It means Alexander belong to me, to my magic, and is therefore also protected by my magic. The choker is enchanted and all magic users can read this message and can feel the protection he is under. If anyone tries to use magic of any kind against Alexander, it will be repealed. The vow Alexander has made to me, symbolized by the choker, connects us so as as long as I live, he will live and my magic will protect him from any harm,” Magnus explained, giving Alec an affectionate look while he put an arm around his back, keeping him close.

“Clever,” Jace said, impressed.

Alec beamed at hearing that, giving Magnus a proud look. Then the words caught up with Jace. Did Magnus just say as long as he lived? He had used a similar wording at the Seelie Court.

"Wait. Alec is immortal now?!” Jace asked, shocked, giving Alec an intense look to see if he seemed different. The only difference he could see was how much more relaxed, carefree, at ease and happy Alec seemed, looking healthier and better than he had ever seen him.

“He lives as long as I live as is the Warlock way for a traditional bonding,” Magnus repeated patiently. “So, in a way.”

“That was one of the things I wanted to tell you,” Alec admitted, giving Jace a worried look. “We think you may then also live as long as Magnus lives. If you wish it.”

Jace blinked a few times, taken back by this news.

“Why?” Jace asked, puzzled.

“You two share a soul. A traditional Warlock bonding include a bonding of souls,” Magnus explained.

"Oh," Jace said, thinking that over for a moment.

Jace was starting to realize how little Idris really knew about Downworlders, their ways, their culture. For ages Nephilims had judged Downworlders, thinking them inferior, but hadn't even bothered to truly understand them, get to know them.

“Are you upset about that?” Alec asked worried. “I should have talked to you first but….”

Jace shook his head, stopped him. He gave Alec a reassuring look as he said with certainty, “No. I want you to be happy and I can feel you are. I am simply happy I won’t be without you. A severed parabatai bond is rumored to be worse than death.”

Alec smiled relieved at him before looking at Magnus, doing a hand gesture to indicate he could continue.

“Alexander and I hoped you would feel like that. Therefore, given that you do, I would like to offer you to move into the loft next door,” Magnus suggested, nodding in the general direction. “You can bring Biscuit if you wish.”

Jace brightened at the idea. He had never had a place of his own like that. It sounded perfect in every way; freedom and independence. Yet close to Alec and given Clary could even come with him....Having grown up Mundane, he was sure she would much rather live at the loft than in a room at the Institute. At the moment they were constantly staying in each other's rooms so living in their own loft together sounded amazing.

"I would love that. It would then be easy for Alec and me to meet up,” Jace said gratefully.

Jace was about to add something about it being hard to meet with Alec at the Institute in a private capacity but left that unspoken. They were all aware of the consequences of Alec's decision and as Jace could see for himself, Alec clearly had no regrets about it.

Magnus nodded, giving Alec a fond look before kissing his temple lovingly.

“Precisely. Since Alec isn’t welcome at the Institute, I decided to bring the parts of the Institute he missed most close by,” Magnus told him, addressing the issue headon, his pride at Alec's decision clear.

His words earned him a loving kiss from Alec.

“Magnus owes the whole building, so he already offered a similar deal to Izzy,” Alec revealed, giving Magnus an adoring and grateful look.

Jace smiled at that, liking the idea of having both Alec and Izzy near. Then suddenly he recalled a key component of Mundane living that made his smile fade.

“I don’t have any money,” Jace realized, concerned.

“Don’t worry about it,” Magnus insisted at once, doing a dismissive hand wave. “I always say never trust a stingy Warlock.”

Jace gave first Magnus and then Alec an amazed look, “This is so much better news than I could ever have hoped for.”

Alec smiled at him before giving Magnus a warm look.

“Warlocks have many traditions I am learning about,” Alec told him, leaning against Magnus, smiling when he pulled him close.

“Are you enjoying that? I mean you were raised Nephilim,” Jace asked, not judging but honestly curious.

“I know but I never fitted in there,” Alec reminded him.

Jace knew what he meant. Even now being gay wasn't easy in Idris and despite their recent victory and collaboration with the Downworld, the majority of Nephilims still saw themselves as better than Downworlders, frowning upon Alec's union with Magnus in more ways than one. However, things were, slowly, changing. Being gay and being with a Downworlder, or a Mundane for that matter, was no longer forbidden. However, while changing the laws had been made possible by recent events, changing hearts and minds took a lot longer.

“Things are changing. You could fit in,” Jace insisted, wanting Alec to know it was an option.

Alec shook his head. He looked at Magnus and took his hand, squeezing it fondly, making the Warlock's whole face light up with warmth. He then focused on Jace again as he replied, “I am changing things now, with Magnus. My very presence is showing people that Downworlders don’t need to follow Nephilim ways to love a Nephilim. That Nephilims can choose someone else above and before their own people as the Seelie Queen would have put it.”

“I guess I see that,” Jace admitted after reflecting on it for a moment.

Jace’s eyes were again caught by Alec’s choker, unsure what he thought of it but certain he could never had agreed to such a sign of commitment and belonging. He wasn’t really sure why as he had no issues with wearing a wedding rune or even a wedding ring for Clary when that day arrived. He guessed it was just a bit too foreign for him. He put a hand up to touch Alec's choker, curious how it felt. However, Alec pulled back before he could do so.

“Don’t touch it,” Alec warned. At Jace’s confused look he explained, “Warlock tradition says that only Magnus and myself can touch it.”

Jace could see that Alec meant it, that he was committed to respecting Magnus’ traditions even though he hadn’t grown up with them.

“I respect this is what you want but I don’t understand it,” Jace admitted, giving Alec an admiring look.

Alec was thoughtful for a moment, thinking about how to explain what he felt in a frame that Jace might understand.

“Why is it so hard to understand? Have you not done Mundane things with Clary you never did before?” Alec asked.

“Well, yes.”

“Then this is the same,” Alec concluded.

“You wear a choker as a sign of bonding or marriage or whatever. Like a claim,” Jace insisted, finally saying it how he saw it and he saw it as…well, repressive and degrading. Not something he would ever agree to. He could respect Alec's choice but he just didn't get it.

Alec gave him a disapproving look, clearly not agreeing with his interpretation of things. Alec again tried to think how to formulate it so Jace might not just respect his choice, but understand it as well.

“Yes, this choker does mean I belong to Magnus, and I wear it proudly,” Alec told him, making Magnus give hm a fond look. Alec took a deep breath before he thought of something, “What do you think wedding runes are? What all our runes are, if not claims of submission and obedience to each other, to the Angel?”

“Well…” Jace began, seeing the comparison, seeing his point and yet still he had a hard time to accept it.

Alec gave Jace a warm look, understanding his struggle as he didn’t love a Warlock as he did. He briefly touched Jace’s side, where he knew his parabatai rune was located.

“What are our parabatai runes if not reminders of the vow we made, of our soul bond, of our brotherhood, our submission to each other, our commitment and loyalty to each other?” Alec asked him, giving him an intense look.

Jace could feel Alec’s sincerity in the bond, his calm, his joy. There was no doubt, no hidden pain or secret. Alec truly was happier here, being Magnus’ mate, his husband, than he had ever been in all the time Jace had known him.

“Ok, ok. I get it,” Jace said, seeing his point and realizing that while he might have a hard time understanding it, he understood what Alec meant. It really was no different than the examples he had grown up with and taken for granted. It was different, but the same.

Alec gave him a grateful smile that Jace returned, not only respecting Alec's decision but understanding it, knowing in his very soul that this was what Alec wanted, this belonging, this love, this true, pure, and deep connection and love. Alec was happy, truly happy. Therefore, he was happy and moreover he got to stay close to him. He really couldn’t have asked for more.

“Will you stay for lunch, Jace? We can catch up,” Alec offered.

“I would like that,” Jace replied with a smile.

They started to walk to the dining room together.

“Maybe on the weekend we could have Izzy over as well. And Max,” Alec suggested, giving Jace a questioning look.

“I am sure they would love that. I think Clary would like to come too. Simon too I guess,” Jace suggested.

“Ok with me. Magnus?” Alec looked to see what Magnus thought of that idea.

“That would be fine. I have missed Biscuit and the vampire has grown on me,” Magnus agreed.

“And…mother and father?” Alec asked hesitantly, worried.

“I don’t think they are ready for this,” Jace admitted honestly.

“For what?” Alec asked, hurt.

“For accepting their son has given up all positions, influence and power in the Nephilim community to embrace Warlock culture and from what the Queen said and from what we all have come to understand is now considered a Downworlder,” Jace explained, nodding to Alec’s choker as it to him was the strongest symbol of that.

"The only titles that have ever mattered to me is being Magnus' husband, your parabatai and brother to my siblings," Alec said honestly, earning him warm looks from both men. "Power and influence only matter so far as it can help create a Shadow World that is equal, fair, and just."

"Well, I don't think Maryse and Robert are quite there," Jace warned. He looked to Magnus as he added, trying to make Alec feel better, “Maybe if you, Magnus, had followed Nephilim ways, Nephilim traditions....”

Alec shook his head at Jace, stopping him right then and there.

“Well, they are free to never come then,” Alec said firmly, strongly. His expression softenened as he looked at Magnus when he added without any doubt or hesitation, “I am proud to belong to Magnus, and follow his ways. I am proud to be considered one of his people. I always will be. If they can only accept my happiness, my love, under certain conditions then I have no use for them in my life.”

Magnus smiled warmly at Alec at hearing that.

“I am happy for you and proud. Immensely proud. I truly am,” Jace told Alec, awed by his strength and the conviction of his love.

“I love you, darling,” Magnus reminded Alec, his words soft but strong.

“I love you too,” Alec replied, the words easy, heartfelt, and honest.

Alec seemed unaware of the power in those words, the power that lay in his love. By loving Magnus, by making the choice that he had made, Alec had done something no Nephilim had ever done before; he had adapted to Magnus instead of trying to make him adapt. 

Jace watched as Alec and Magnus shared a loving and tender kiss. All his life he had been told he was special, unique. That he would change the world. He was happy, relieved, and proud to find that in the end it was his parabatai who had changed the world. Not with blood, not with power, not with strength. No, Alec had changed the world with love.

The end