Work Text:
Grillby stared down at the note in his hand, carefully keeping his flames from charring the paper.
DEAR GRILLBY,
I AM FINALLY PAYING MY TAB, BECAUSE I AM A RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN AND ALSO BECAUSE I SECRETLY ADMIRE YOU. A LOT. ROMANTICALLY! EVEN IF I AM VERY BAD AT EXPRESSING SUCH FEELINGS AND WILL LIKELY DENY THEM IF YOU ASK. IN FACT, I WILL DENY WRITING THIS LETTER AT ALL! BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS TRUE!!
SINCERELY,
SANS.
Grillby recognized the handwriting. It would be impossible not to. If you went west of town, there were plenty of puzzles and signs with this skeleton’s distinctive handwriting all over them.
“..........Papyrus.” His voice crackled as he sighed. Usually the younger skeleton’s “japes” were more tasteful than this. Was it payback for allowing Sans to stay past closing the other night?
Sans had looked so peaceful, for once. He fell asleep at the bar often enough—rarely from drinking, unless ketchup had intoxicating effects on skeletons. But normally Grillby or a regular patron would shake him awake once his bones started rattling. Sans never admitted to nightmares, but Grillby wasn’t sure what else the odd spells could be.
But two nights ago, he’d fallen asleep with his cheekbone against the counter, a fry half-chewed in his slack jaw. Grillby regretted not owning a fancy phone like his niece Fuku had tried to talk him into purchasing. A photo of Sans’s face would have been worth at least a quarter of the skeleton’s tab.
Red had taken a photo. Grillby wasn’t sure if he had reached the desperate low of searching the UnderNet for photos of his friend.
He folded the note and slipped it into his breast pocket. It would have been more prudent to burn it, but some strange sentimentality prevented him. Maybe he would confront Papyrus later, and it would be helpful to have evidence.
He wasn’t fooling anyone. He avoided confrontation like it was water.
Maybe that was why he and Sans got along so well… and maybe that was why Grillby would never be anything more than his friend.
He tried to distract himself by preparing to open the bar. All the while, the letter seemed to burn a hole in his vest.
Burn. Sans would enjoy the irony. He would stack a few more flame puns around it, and Grillby would give him a deadpan stare, and Sans would know that the lower-pitched crackling was his suppressed laughter.
Stars , Grillby was better than this. Pining was suited for trees, not grown fire monsters.
...Sans would enjoy that pun, too.
“........Papyrus,” he cursed while unlocking the restaurant door.
“THE ONE AND ONLY!”
Grillby jumped, the flames of his head shooting skyward. Where had the skeleton come from? Grillby had thought Sans was the only one who could appear out of nowhere.
“HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU, FRIEND?” Papyrus asked with a genuine grin.
“..................” What was he supposed to say? If Papyrus was pulling a prank, he had an excellent poker face. Perhaps it ran in the family.
“WERE YOU PERHAPS, LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER?” Papyrus gave an audible wink. It somehow sounded sultry.
Puffs of smoke clouded around Grillby’s cheeks. He pulled the taller skeleton into the empty bar before any passerbys could see.
“...............why?” He had to ask.
“WHY? I BELIEVE I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THAT QUESTION, GRILLBY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON!” Papyrus was completely still, his confident posture betraying nothing.
Grillby sighed. He would have to be more direct, no matter how much he loathed it.
He calmed his flames and plucked the note from his pocket.
“..............this was you.”
“NYEH HEH, OF COURSE NOT! THIS OBVIOUSLY HAS MY BROTHER’S SIGNATURE ON IT! AND, HE IS CLEARLY PROFESSING HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU! SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT SHOW IT OFF SO CARELESSLY?” Sweat beaded on his skull.
“.........Papyrus.” Grillby’s voice was firm. He pulled out a separate note from his pants pocket.
sorry to bounce. put it on my tab?
The note was scribbled on a napkin. There was no signature, unless you counted the ketchup stain in the bottom corner.
“ER.” Papyrus coughed. “HE’S CERTAINLY GOTTEN MORE ELOQUENT SINCE THEN, HASN’T HE?”
“.........please.” Grillby was close to giving up. If Papyrus’s stubbornness was anything like his brother’s, Grillby would never get a straight answer out of him. But it was worth at least one more try. “.....why would you lie to me? About…. this?”
Papyrus looked away. “I… IT’S NOT A LIE, EXACTLY! IF MY BROTHER WEREN’T SO LAZY, I’M SURE HE WOULD WRITE THE SAME WORDS!”
“.......Stop.” Grillby shook his head. “Sans only likes my food.”
“OF COURSE. THAT’S WHY HE GIVES IT AWAY TO HIS FRIENDS. I’M SURE HE STAYS PAST CLOSING JUST BECAUSE HE LIKES THE FOOD, TOO.”
How did Papyrus know that Sans shared his meals with other patrons more often than not? Maybe he had just guessed based on what skeletons could stomach. (Pun not intended.) Grillby kept a towel on Sans’s seat for when excess food inevitably went right through him.
“I REALLY THOUGHT YOU KNEW,” Papyrus said. “I RARELY EVEN COME TO YOUR… FINELY GREASED ESTABLISHMENT, AND EVEN I CAN SEE HOW MUCH HE CARES ABOUT YOU!”
“.....Then why did you write that letter?”
“IT’S POOR ETIQUETTE TO ASK A MONSTER TO EXPLAIN HIS PUZZLE… BUT FOR YOU, I WILL MAKE AN EXCEPTION.”
Papyrus leaned in closer, as if about to share a secret. The volume of his voice didn’t lower, however.
“A FUN JAPE IS ALWAYS AN EXCELLENT CONVERSATION STARTER!” He beamed. “YOU COULD USE THE LETTER AS AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO HIM. IF HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, HE CAN BLAME EVERYTHING ON ME, AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP CAN ESCAPE UNSCATHED. BUT, BY THEN, I BELIEVE HIS TRUE FEELINGS WILL BE OBVIOUS! ANOTHER VICTORY FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH HEH!!”
Grillby stared. Papyrus… had a point. Neither himself nor Sans were bold enough to take the first step on their own.
(If Sans even wanted to. Though… who would know his heart better than his own brother?)
“........I see.” Grillby folded both notes and placed them back in his vest pocket. His chest felt warm, but now for a more pleasant reason. “That was quite clever.”
“OF COURSE IT WAS! SO, WILL YOU TALK TO HIM?”
“..............................yes.”
He felt the weight of the commitment settle on him. It was more like a warm blanket or an anchor than a binding chain, though.
Not much changed in the Underground. Grillby served the same patrons, day after day, night after night. It was fine. It was comfortable. But if he attempted to ask out Sans… perhaps things would be better than fine.
He could hardly imagine it.
“WOWIE! THANK YOU, GRILLBY!” Papyrus shook his hand enthusiastically. “IF YOU NEED ANY HELP, JUST CALL ME! BUT I SUSPECT YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BEST WAY TO SANS’S HEART IS THROUGH BAD JOKES! AND ALL MY JOKES ARE SPECTACULAR! NYEH HEH HEH!”
Another audible wink. This one sounded like a glittery special effect from one of Mettaton’s TV shows. How did Papyrus do that?
“...Thank you.”
Grillby meant it. Thanks to Papyrus, change didn’t seem so terrifying after all.