Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-Sumi added Techno Wilbur Tommyinni t, and 12 others to the chat

Philza: Oh hello Sumi!

-Sumi changed their name to PapiFistr

PapiFistr: heyyy~ Phillll ;3

Tommyinnit: I wanna jump off a cliff

Tubbo: ??

Ranboo: mum I'm scared come pick me up

-Papi Fistr changed Ranboos name to MeninBlack

-PapiFistr changed Technos name to PorkyPig

PorkyPig: okay that's just uncalled for 

-PorkyPig changed PapiFistr's name to Bumbass

Bumbass: mmm yummy

Tommyinnit: why is Techno an admin??

Bumbass: becus he my ho

PorkyPig: fuck outta here shawty

Badboyhalo: Language!

PorkyPig: sorry

PorkyPig: fuck out of here shorty

Badboyhalo: .---.

Meninblack: hmm the name isn't entirely wrong

Dream: You wear a suit 24/7 of course it's accurate

Tommyinnit: I just think he has something wrong with him

Meninblack: it's not a problem it's a lifestyle 🤌

-Bumbass changed Dream’s name to Bottom

-Bumbass changed George's name to Switch

-Bumbass changed Sapnap’s name to ClosetedGay

Bottom: this is a hate crime

Switch: please change mine :(

Bumbass: just because you asked nicely

-Bumbass changed Switch's name to Babey

Bumbass: perfect

Karl: sapnap you're gay?? :O

ClosetedGay: . . .

Bumbass: idk if I wanna scream or laugh cus idk if this is a joke

ClosetedGay: What's a joke?

Bumbass: thought you were already dating Karl and Quackity? Am I right?

ClosetedGay: I mean…

Karl: not yet ;)

ClosetedGay: please don't make that face

Quackity: mm spicy ;))

ClosetedGay: I hate it here

Bumbass: welcome to the club

PorkyPig: welcome to the club

Bumbass: :V aww bub we on the same wavelength

PorkyPig: told you not to call me that

Bumbass: aww bubby you just being a tsundere 

Badboyhalo: that's cute

PorkyPig: ofc you would

Bumbass: uwu

Badboyhalo: uwu

Sleepy: imma cry bad, you uwu to Sumi but not to me?

Bumbass: it's official

Bumbass: Skeppy isn't as uwu enough

-Bumbass changed Skeppy's name to SadUwU

-Bumbass changed Badboyhalo's name to TheBaddie

Tommyinnit: Sumi just saying rn your naming is fucking cursed

Bumbass: thanks and how fucking dare you

TheBaddie: language!

PorkyPig: I think your protests won't reach them Bad, Sumi swears like a sailor when we're at home

Meninblack: "when we're home" like they don't say it in front of michael all the time.

Meninblack: he said fuck the other day when he fell off his high chair

Babey: I would too if i was him

Bumbass: whaaaat gogy swearing????? Babey swears???

Bumbass: just to let you know, Michael swearing wasn't an accident.

Tubbo: what was that

Tubbo: all I heard was a crackling of a fire that may consume your house unless you never curse in front of my son again

Bumbass: ah, yessir -~-

Tubbo: good

-Bumbass changed Tubbo name to HotTamales

Tommyinnit: ima just fucking commit aliven't

Bottom: I can arrange that :)

Tommyinnit: ew, don't say shit like that while having that name

Bottom: ffs, SUMI STILL HASNT CHAMGED IT???

Bumbass: never said I was going to 

Bottom: CHANGE IT

Bumbass: 💅💅 y'all hear sumn

Bottom: you're a pain in my ass

Bumbass: I think you should be saving those words for George 

Babey: 😶😶

Bottom: Geooorge help

Bumbass: that's right bottom cry to mommy

Babey: Sumi

Bumbass: :|

Bumbass: sigh fine

Bumbass changed Bottom's name to Seme

Seme: ok fuck you

PorkyPig: this is great

Tommyinnit: Techno you're roommate is so out of pocket

Bumbass: as it should be 😌

TheBaddie: I'm just losing my mind and I hate it here

SadUwU: felt that

Bumbass: who else needs a taste of my fine naming

PorkyPig: I believe Karl, Quackity and Tommy

Tommyinnit: god dammit fuck you

-Bumbass changed Tommyinnit's name to AFckinDisastr

AFckinDisastr: you traitor

-Bumbass changed Karl's name to Hubby1

-Bumbass changed Quackity's name to Hubby2

Bumbass: and just to match

-Bumbass changed ClosetedGay's name to Hubby3

Hubby1: imma be so confused

Bumbass: suffer

Hubby2: well at least we know Karl is #1 best hubby

Hubby1: aww 🥺🥺

ScottSmajor: I'm here too for some reason

HotTamales: Sumi please curse him too

Bumbass: now that you ask that of me

Bumbass: no I don't think I will

-Bumbass changed ScottSmajor's name to MadameDuchess

MadameDuchess: ah yes, thank you for such a lovely name

Bumbass: only for the best gay bitch I know and love 😘

MadameDuchess: 😘❤️

PorkyPig: go off Ig

AFckinDisastr: I just wanna get my school work done fod dammit

Bumbass: haha dummy said "fod" 

AFckinDisastr: and you're the one named bumbass so stfu

Bumbass: ayo I'm a bumbass and I'm proud deal with it shawty

MadameDuchess: we gonna have fun here 💅💅

-All users are offline

Chapter Text

Philza: good morning everyone

PorkyPig: god dammit phil everytime

MadameDuchess: good morning 😊😊

Bumbass: good morning y'all uwu

Meninblack: I don't wanna get up 😞

HotTamales: good morning!

Bumbass: phil you reminded me of something

Philza: hmm?

-Bumbass changed Philza's name to MamaBird

MamaBird: ah

AFckinDisastr: oh no they got you too 

Bumbass: calm down tommy, that's not the worst ones I've named

Seme: you're always cursed

Bumbass: exhibit A ^^

Bumbass: Dream you can complain all you want about your name but I'm never gonna change it uwu

Seme: .-. I don't wanna be here anymore

Bumbass: oh you wish you never met me >:)))

Babey: Techno control your roommate

PorkyPig: no thanks, too much work

MadameDuchess: you'd never say that if it was wilbur or tommy

SadUwU: becus Mr Blade is a big softie

PorkyPig: no? I'm just not up to hearing "welcome to the cum zone" being blasted on the Bluetooth speaker cus they're in a mood

Meninblack: I won't even ask

Bumbass: it's a great song wym

PorkyPig: I've gotten noise complaints from all our next door and downstairs neighbors

Bumbass: not my fault they don't have taste in my music 😤

MamaBird: I sometimes worry for you Techno

PorkyPig: thanks ig

TheBaddie: I worry for your neighbors

Seme: I worry for your apartment

PorkyPig: I wouldn't blame you, almost burned down the kitchen twice

Bumbass: hey that one time wasn't even me

Porky Pig: ah yes and it wasn't that you wanted to experiment on a spider that was in the restroom because a cousin dared you to do it

SadUwU: Sumi an arsonist?

-Bumbass changed their name to BeGayCommitArso

PorkyPig: "Arso"

BeGayCommitArso: stfu the name was too long

MadameDuchess: that's unfortunate

BeGayCommitArso: it truly is a tragedy 😞

PorkyPig: dramatic ass

BeGayCommitArso: says the one who basically cried that a zombie stepped on the turtle eggs that one stream

PorkyPig: stfu I had good reason to be

MamaBird: can confirm he did

BeGayCommitArso: sigh unrelated but I want a tortoise in real life

BeGayCommitArso: just so I can name it Tortilla uwu

SadUwU: that's cute

AFckinDisastr: that's stupid

BeGayCommitArso: and you got a better name?

AFckinDisastr: your names are always shitty and cursed as hell

BeGayCommitArso: aw thank you 😊

AFckinDisastr: that wasn't a compliment but ok

AFckinDisastr: I'd just name it like any normal person

PorkyPig: you're normal?

AFckinDisastr: fuck off

-All users offline

Chapter Text

MamaBird: Good morning everyone!

Meninblack: y'know Phil, I'm grateful for your morning text

MamaBird: hmm?

Meninblack: it fixes my sleep schedule

BeGayCommitArso: at least someone sleeps

MamaBird: I'm glad Ranboo!

MamaBird: wym Sumi? 

BeGayCommitArso: bruh haven't been sleeping for the past week

Meninblack: oop

MamaBird: Have you tried meds? I can help with getting you prescribed

BeGayCommitArso: uhhh rather not say, it's kinda just whatever. You don't have to Phil I'll live

MamaBird: just tryna look out for you mate

BeGayCommitArso: yeah ik thank you though ♥️

MamaBird: No problem!

HotTamales: Sumi and insomniac? Felt that

PorkyPig: I think most of us are

Seme: agreed

BeGayCommitArso: I'm not mental, Im a goddamn lifestyle 💅💅

MadameDuchess: Yass your Majesty 😩💅

BeGayCommitArso: Yasssssss

TheBaddie: it's the ✨self-confidence✨ for me

SadUwU: we love to see it

AFckinDisastr: pass me some of that energy

BeGayCommitArso: you're too young to smoke it Tommy calm the hell down

AFckinDisastr: wait what

PorkyPig: you smoke? I thought you quit

BeGayCommitArso: it's different than before but yeah

PorkyPig: .-.

TheBaddie: someone's mad

MadameDuchess: Hoes mad

HotTamales: I don't get it, you can smoke self-confidence??

MamaBird: sigh, Tubbo it's weed

BeGayCommitArso: mmm sure

Hubby3: it's dab, did it with them a couple of times

BeGayCommitArso: bruh couldn't let me finish huh 🙄🙄

Hubby3: you always finish first ;)

BeGayCommitArso: ew gay 🤢

Hubby3: oml stfu

HotTamales: I'm confused

BeGayCommitArso: I shall never be silenced

Meninblack: how did we get here

BeGayCommitArso: Gay rights

MadameDuchess: amen

MamaBird: agreed but I'm confused as well

PorkyPig: don't worry most of us are

BeGayCommitArso: bruh at least read back and try to understand, god fake fans 😩

Hubby2: We just gonna jump over the fact that Phil just said "dw I'll get you drugs" earlier?

BeGayCommitArso: at least someone reads

HotTamales: I say can't read but I refuse to acknowledge I'm smart

AFckinDisastr: a god damn mood

Meninblack: seriously though

PorkyPig: Ok zoomers

PorkyPig: to answer your question Quackity, yes, 

yes we are

Hubby2: damn the disrespect

MadameDuchess: Mans didn't miss

BeGayCommitArso: ayo, I'ma add some more peeps to the GC cus I can and this isn't a request

-BeGayCommitArso just added Kryozgaming and 3 others to the chat

Kryozgaming: wow, thanks for this, I'm leaving

BeGayCommitArso: don't you dare

-Kryozgaming left the chat

-SMii7y left the chat

Vanoss: damn double homicide

BeGayCommitArso: you the honest hoe tho Evan

Vanoss: I mean sure

-BeGayCommitArso changed Vanoss's name to BirdManJones

BirdManJones: tbh not a bad name

AFckinDisastr: oh god

HotTamales: look Phil! A bird for you!

BirdManJones: who

MamaBird: hello fellow bird

BirdManJones: ah yes, good day sir bird

BeGayCommitArso: I regret adding you now tbh

BirdManJones: just add John back, he said he actually wanted in

BeGayCommitArso: too bad that fucker doesn't deserve forgiveness

BeGayCommitArso: he has betrayed me

BirdManJones: I'll send you a fire canon pls

BeGayCommitArso: no cap?

PorkyPig: I would like to keep the apartment fire canon free thank you very much

Meninblack: bruh fire?

Meninblack: I have no fear

HotTamales: OOOOO FIRE

Meninblack: I have one fear

BeGayCommitArso: fucking fine I'll add your bf

BirdManJones: thank you

BeGayCommitArso just added Kryozgaming to the chat

Kryozgaming: I'm resurrected

Kryozgaming: like Jesus

BeGayCommitArso: nah If you were jesus I wouldn't have added you back

Kryozgaming: damn so petty 😩

BeGayCommitArso: only for you honey 🤭

PorkyPig: I'm not letting you get the fire canon

BirdManJones: I wasn't gonna send one anyway

BeGayCommitArso: you fat bitch

BirdManJones: D:

BeGayCommitArso: jokes your so skinny 😩

Kryozgaming: he's pretty buff though

BirdManJones: thanks

BeGayCommitArso: John get outta here with yo simp ass 😳🙄

Kryozgaming: no 🥰♥️

BeGayCommitArso: harlot

MadameDuchess: hello new people!

Meninblack: more victims

AFckinDisastr: Sumi this Kryoz guy or person thing has been here for 8 minutes and yet you still haven't named them

BeGayCommitArso: hmm Tommy I feel like you're starting to get invested in my naming skills

AFckinDisastr: fuck off

BeGayCommitArso: but you don't understand the situation here

BeGayCommitArso: you see queen John needs a godly name, a name that will fit his worthy cause of being the best meme dealer there ever was

Kryozgaming: fuck yeah brother

BirdManJones: you're feeding his ego Su

PorkyPig: Su?

BeGayCommitArso: it's a nick from back then

BirdManJones: back when Xbox 360 was top-notch 🤌🤌 and call o doody was the shit ig

BeGayCommitArso: it's been 84 years…

BirdManJones: fr fr

HotTamales: heh doody

AFckinDisastr: of course you would

Seme: Sumi I'm confused please explain

BeGayCommitArso: ah right, y'all never met. ROLL CALL BITCHES @everyone

MamaBird: hello there, I'm Phil

PorkyPig: I'm the blade

BeGayCommitArso: first of all

BeGayCommitArso: no sir, that's incorrect

PorkyPig: wym it is my name

BirdManJones: ah yes, ✨r a z o r s✨

PorkyPig: okay listen here

Kryozgaming: don't dis my bf

BirdManJones: °=°

HotTamales: that look like a bird face

BirdManJones: ah finally someone gets it

BeGayCommitArso: how the fuck

Seme: I'm dream, this bitch Sumi won't change my name to something less embarrassing

BeGayCommitArso: you want it to be Bottom again?

BeGayCommitArso: cus I will not hesitate

Seme: no nvm I like this name 😨

BeGayCommitArso: that's what I thought bitch

Kryozgaming: I love it when you- when they that when- 😩🥵

BeGayCommitArso: simp ass

BeGayCommitArso: well it seems like Ranboo and Scott are offline atm but they are Meninblack and MadameDuchess respectively also Babey is George

AFckinDisastr: I'm the poggiest man ever, Tommyinnit

TheBaddie: hello! I'm Badboyhalo, but you can call me bad

SadUwU: I'm Skeppy! Nice meeting you two new people

BirdManJones: a pleasure, I'm Evan

Kryozgaming: I'm a dealer, deal with it

BeGayCommitArso: behave John

Kryozgaming: no ♥️

PorkyPig: Is that everyone?

BeGayCommitArso: idk tbh

Hubby1: Hiii I'm Karl ☺️☺️

Hubby2: wassup hombres I'm Quackity

Hubby3: my name's Sapnap

BeGayCommitArso: 👀👀 they answered in order

MadameDuchess: bless

HotTamales: Hihi I'm Tubbo and I love bees!

Kryozgaming: awesomeness

BirdManJones: ew John

Kryozgaming: what it is, bees are cool

BeGayCommitArso: could have said anything else, EVERYTHING else but that word

HotTamales: awesomeness

Meninblack: oh god he did it too

Meninblack: he's screaming from his room and Micheal is concerned

Kryozgaming: Michael Jackson?

BeGayCommitArso: this mans

Meninblack: it's my son :p

MadameDuchess: the ✨angel✨

MamaBird: agreed

HotTamales: frfr

Meninblack: bless

BeGayCommitArso: oh shit I forgot

-BeGayCommitArso changed Fundy's name to Furry

AFckinDisastr: bruh so unoriginal

BeGayCommitArso: oh now I know

-BeGayCommitArso changed Furry's name to BiteOf87

AFckinDisastr: oml that's fucked

BeGayCommitArso: IS THAT THE BITE OF 87!?!?

Kryozgaming: IS THAT THE BITE OF 87!!!11

BirdManJones: John you're sleeping on the couch

Kryozgaming: fair

BiteOf87: I'm always forgotten smh

BeGayCommitArso: not really, Wilbur has been here since the beginning and he hasn't spoken for days

Meninblack: wait Wilbur is here???

AFckinDisastr: when tf

MadameDuchess: he lurks, I see his icon online but he never says anything

Wilbur: hello

MadameDuchess: see

HotTamales: damn he be ghosting us

BeGayCommitArso: another specimen :)))

-BeGayCommitArso has changed Wilbur's name to MeloncholyHate

MeloncholyHate: wot

BeGayCommitArso: like your band Love Joy but it's the opposite

MeloncholyHate: clever

BeGayCommitArso: I was gonna name you like Choke me like you hate me but it was too long

PorkyPig: Arso 

BeGayCommitArso: stfu I'm playing Welcome to the Cum Zone tonight

PorkyPig: .-.

Kryozgaming: a banger right there

MamaBird: well let me know when you two get evicted I'll prepare the guest rooms

PorkyPig: it's greatly appreciated

BeGayCommitArso: smh y'all 🙄

TheBaddie: I mean, would you want to hear someone else's provocative music on blast?

BeGayCommitArso: as long as they ain't fucking we gucci

TheBaddie: LANGUAGE SUMI

BeGayCommitArso: 💅💅 y'all hear sumn

Meninblack: it's always annoying when our downstairs neighbor playing cocomelon everyday wym provocative

HotTamales: Michael is lucky he goes down there to have a playdate with Foolish's Kids

AFckinDisastr: not the vague Foolish shade

MadameDuchess: bless

BeGayCommitArso: 👀🍵🍵

Kryozgaming: Sumi can I have a bussing name too? I'm feeling left out

BeGayCommitArso: stfu whore wait your turn, daddy will be there in a moment

Kryozgaming: yessir 😩

AFckinDisastr: I'm uncomfortable and I shall mute this gc for the rest of the day. Goodnight

MamaBird: goodnight Tommy

HotTamales: when did Sumi become a father

Meninblack: ....

Meninblack: I'ma pull a Tommy and say goodnight as well

PorkyPig: sigh, Sumi is playing the song 😐

BeGayCommitArso: :) you love me

PorkyPig: mmmm unfortunately

BeGayCommitArso: OMG TWVHNO THATS THE CLOSTED YOU EVR SAID TO AN I LOBE YOUSJJASKJWNEBE

PorkyPig: yep I'm leaving make sure to not blast the music all night

BeGayCommitArso: I'm crying 😭😭 Alexa play Despacito

PorkyPig: oml

MadameDuchess: Alexa play cocomelon

HotTamales: fuck nah

HotTamales: I'ma go too 

-All users offline

Chapter Text

-BeGayCommitArso changed Kryozgaming's name to GodsPeengus

GodsPeengus: tf

BeGayCommitArso: the only thing I could think of

BeGayCommitArso: all hail peengus

Hubby1: wait like bingus?

BeGayCommitArso: yep

PorkyPig: fuck off

Seme: someone's cranky

PorkyPig: well yeah I was rudely woken by Phil, he needs help at the clinic so :/

MamaBird: I don't see you working Techno, get off the phone

HotTamales: well you are too Phil?

PorkyPig: sigh as long as I get paid smh

Meninblack: I didn't know he worked a Phil's clinic

MeloncholyHate: he doesn't, he usually steps in occasionally. When one of our employees ot me don't come in either being sick or sumthn dad usually just picks up Techno so no one else is stressed out with the unfilled position

Meninblack: makes sense

MeloncholyHate: Tommy comes in as a sort of intern as well since he needs the credits for his major

Meninblack: oh yeah he talks about how much shit he gets from his professor, saying it like he doesn't count it since it's because he has a problem with Tommy being related to the doctor he interns or something

AFckinDisastr: Ranboo delete that

Meninblack: huh?

MamaBird: Is that true Tommy? If you need me to I can talk to your prof 

AFckinDisastr: uh no it's fine I think he counts it now

MadameDuchess: well your prof will need a talking to by whoever cus you're still going through the process of getting reliable credits for interning. If they don't count that since you're basically interning with your dad, it's strange cus familial relations shouldn't be interfering with your credits.

BeGayCommitArso: as long as you're doing the work for it, it should count

PorkyPig: vouch

AFckinDisastr: I didn't want to say anything more than what I needed to but I guess I can send you my prof email..

MamaBird: good I'll get it taken care of don't worry Tommy

AFckinDisastr: Thank you Phil

MamaBird: No need to thank me mate

BeGayCommitArso: wholesome 🥺🥺

AFckinDisastr: stfu I'm going to skin you alive the next time I see you

TheBaddie: language

BeGayCommitArso: Bad you're really doing a shit job at languaging this chat

TheBaddie: I'm busy

Hubby2: busy boning Skeppy?

TheBaddie: QUACKITY-

Hubby2: DONT "QUACKITY" ME

TheBaddie: WELL DONT SAY THAT

Hubby1: I didn't hear a no

GodsPeengus: yeah homie real sus

TheBaddie: I'M LEAVING CUS IM BUSY WITH MY LIFE

TheBaddie: BECAUSE I HAVE ONE

-TheBaddie is offline

BeGayCommitArso: Damn he really hit us with that attitude

MadameDuchess: the audacity 💅

MeloncholyHate: He still didn't say no

AFckinDisastr: hey @SadUwU

SadUwU: yes?

AFckinDisastr: what is your relationship with Bad

SadUwU: he is the jack to my rose

AFckinDisastr: that's so 🤢🤢 fucking 🤢 cheesy 🤮🤮🤮

MadameDuchess: he would drown for you in an ocean, leaving you to almost freeze to death

BeGayCommitArso: way to see the bright side Scott

MadameDuchess: I have to look elsewhere because who else would be as bright as me 😌✨

BeGayCommitArso: 😎 such a baddie

MadameDuchess: as it should be 💁😌

PorkyPig: Sumi I need you for a second come down

BeGayCommitArso: bet what's up

PorkyPig: don't you remember what today is? We gotta go to Phil's later

HotTamales: TECHNO SHUSH

Meninblack: don't tell them yet

BeGayCommitArso: it's my birthday?

BeGayCommitArso: WAIT YOU TAKING ME TO A CLUB?!

PorkyPig: even better

BeGayCommitArso: WINGSTOP???

BirdManJones: idk how that could be better but go off

GodsPeengus: babe just let them have their top 3 best things and we'll have ours

PorkyPig: nope guess again

BeGayCommitArso: IM COMING FOWN IM DON GUESIJNG

PorkyPig: no fun

BeGayCommitArso: you know I don't like guessing shit

HotTamales: we'll meet you there Techno

PorkyPig: aight

GodsPeengus: and I don't get an invite?

BirdManJones: John what about me?

GodsPeengus: 🧍🧍🧍

MadameDuchess: damn

BirdManJones: fuck you John

BeGayCommitArso: first of all Evan, John, sweeties the loves of my life. You live in a different country so fuck off

GodsPeengus: damn worst lover ever

BeGayCommitArso: how dare

Seme: ONG Sumi such a terrible person, not invited me?

BeGayCommitArso: shut up Twink

Seme: Ok thats it

Seme: I will dance on your grave

BeGayCommitArso: jokes on you I'll be cremated

Seme: I'll shit in your urn

BeGayCommitArso: okay bottom

GodsPeengus: hey only me and Evan get to do that, cus we really hurt from that comment 😩😩

BirdManJones: nah I'm fine

GodsPeengus: I was really hurt from that 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

BeGayCommitArso: John stfu /lh

MadameDuchess: the lovers r fighting

Hubby1: I'm kinda confused

SadUwU: felt

AFckinDisastr: hey Sumi you didn't tell us you weren't single

BeGayCommitArso: and a young man that is in college on the other side of town in crippling debt needs to know this?

AFckinDisastr: I mean

HotTamales: they do have a point

AFckinDisastr: didn’t have to call me out liek that tho

BeGayCommitArso: but since it's out now

GodsPeengus: you've been out for years

BirdManJones: shutup John

BeGayCommitArso: shutup John

BeGayCommitArso: I'm in a Queer platonic relationship with John and Evan while those two are Romantic

HotTamales: wait so what's your sexuality

BeGayCommitArso: AroAce

MadameDuchess: bless 💚

AFckinDisastr: Wait, did you know Scott?

MadameDuchess: they were asking for my help

MamaBird: congrats you three

BirdManJones: thanks

GodsPeengus: hell yeah brother

BeGayCommitArso: 2 years and going strong 🤌🤌

Hubby2: bless

Hubby1: we're not the only throuple here now!

Hubby2: right @hubby3 get over here

BeGayCommitArso: WAIT FID YALL FINALLY DOGURE OUT YOUR SHIT????

BeGayCommitArso: DAPNAP FUCK YEAH GET YOUR BOYS

Hubby2: "dapnap"

Hubby3: what's up

BeGayCommitArso: BITCH YOU KNOW WHATS UP

Hubby2: read back love

BeGayCommitArso: GUVK YALL THATS CUTE

GodsPeengus: he's never that happy when he sees us

Meninblack: they*

GodsPeengus: what

Meninblack: well I assume you meant Sumi

BeGayCommitArso: it's alright Ranboo! I do go by he/theys but I prefer he/hims are used more intimately so Evan and John use them, so everyone else please use they/thems

Meninblack: ah okay

MadameDuchess: ayeaye captain 

BeGayCommitArso: bruh Techno really taking me somewhere, I think he is kidnapping me

MamaBird: no mate calm down he wouldn't do that

BeGayCommitArso: you doubt him

GodsPeengus: he better not

GodsPeengus: you're mine 😤

BirdManJones: fucking simp

GodsPeengus: shush Evan at least I'm proud about it

SadUwU: hope everything goes well Sumi!

BeGayCommitArso: bitch idk what is supposed to happen

BeGayCommitArso: GUYS THEY TOOK ME TO WINGSTOP

-All users offline

Chapter Text

-BeGayCommitArso has added SMii7y and 2 others to the chat 

GodsPeengus: oh god he's here

Foolish: oh woah hello

SMii7y: god damnit

GodsPeengus: can never escape bitch

Noga: oh hello John

BeGayCommitArso: he can see through our disguise

Noga: Sumi wassup!

BirdManJones: ew it's Noga

Noga: that's not how you spell it fucker

Seme: well you kinda fucked up on your part then

BeGayCommitArso: Nogla you're doing great sweetie 🤣

AFckinDisastr: oh god no more people please

SMii7y: rood

Foolish: well sorry for being here then 😤😤😤

AFckinDisastr: okay you febreze degenerate

BeGayCommitArso: damn tommy really out here 🍵👀

Foolish: okay Boomer

-BeGayCommitArso changed Foolish's name to FebrezeDegen

-BeGayCommitArso changed SMii7y's name to JebusMilkies

-BeGayCommitArso changed Noga's name to PPBrained

JebusMilkies: doing gods work 😌

AFckinDisaster: why

AFckinDisastr: also stole my fucking idea

BeGayCommitArso: it wasn't yours to begin with 💅💅

AFckinDisastr: 😐

FebrezeDegen: tbh not even mad

Hubby2: i love how we fail to remember Techno has naming privileges too

BeGayCommitArso: nah Techno remembers he just doesnt want to go against a force like me

PorkyPig: too much work to change names let alone make them up on the spot

BeGayCommitArso: speaking of which I don't like how long my name is anymore, please hold

AFckinDisastr: oh god

-BeGayCommitArso has changed their name to CuntryRoad

GodsPeengus: perfect

MeloncholyHate: I fucking choked on my drink holy fuck

PorkyPig: dang i forgot to laugh 😐

CuntryRoad: I heard you fucking snort from my room, it's great admit it

BirdManJones: I can agree lmaoo

Hubby3: KARLS DYING FROM LAUGHING 🤣🤣

PPBrained: gold star Sumi

TheBaddie: SUMI OML

CuntryRoad: DONT TYPE IN CAPS AT ME BAD, ITS A GREAT NAME AND YOU KNOW IT

TheBaddie: I don't even know what to say to you anymore

AFckinDisastr: hey Google how do I delete someone from existence

MadameDuchess: Tommy that's called ✨murder✨

CuntryRoad: only gays can do that so back up 👁️👄👁️🔪

Meninblack: o h

HotTamales: so you're telling me that all serial killers are gay?

CuntryRoad: might as well be, cus tbh eating someone is kinda gay. 😩😩

PPBrained: isn't that Cannibalism

AFckinDisastr: omg

BirdManJones: You're doing great 👍

PPBrained: sound less condescending next time

CuntryRoad: can't even hear through messages Nogla

Meninblack: I sometimes wonder how we got to live in the same timeline

JebusMilkies: I'm surprised I made it this far

GodsPeengus: bro same

PorkyPig: felt that

CuntryRoad: damn we really wanna go deep diving today?

BirdManJones: you don't live near a beach Su

CuntryRoad:  thanks captain obvious

HotTamales: quick question

HotTamales: Sumi

CuntryRoad: wassup

HotTamales: how come you live with Techno and not your partners? I was really curious tbh

PorkyPig: I can kinda explain a bit ig, Sumi lived with me before they even got together with Evan and John.

CuntryRoad: and John had already moved to Canada to be with Evan even before me.

BirdManJones: it's also a pain with out of country living situations, John had so much trouble with different types of shit when he first moved here.

BirdManJones: we'd both love to have Su up here with us but he said he didn't want to be of trouble to us

GodsPeengus: which he isn't

BirdManJones: right ^

HotTamales: oh okay everyone contributed to that one lol

CuntryRoad: we go as a unit or not at all

GodsPeengus: hell yeah brother

JebusMilkies: tbh I forget that's you, John

GodsPeengus: literally almost twinsies

-

Meninblack: it's been 5 minutes and I'm wondering what they were trying to follow up with that

BirdManJones: just looked and john fell asleep

JebusMilkies: bruh what a flex

AFckinDisastr: what

CuntryRoad: he's asleep that's the joke

HotTamales: ohhh I get it

MadameDuchess: nice job 👍

Seme: wake him up. There's no such thing as sleep in this world

SadUwU: damn okay

CuntryRoad: WE WILL NEVER SLEEP, CUS SLEEP IS FOR YHE WEAK

PorkyPig: WE WILL NEVER REST UNTIL WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD

CuntryRoad: YOOO FUCK YEAH TECHNO

PorkyPig: that is my only contribution to this conversation

SadUwU: you still talking tho

PorkyPig: okay then bye

-Porkypig is offline

CuntryRoad: thanks Skeppy, I have a heartworming bro moment and you go and ruined it

Seme: okay then spell heartwarming right idiot

CuntryRoad: listen here you little shit

CuntryRoad: I was being nice and I have no choice

Seme: wait

AFckinDisastr: oh shit Dream run

Seme: Sumi I stg pls

CuntryRoad: there's no turning back now, you fucked up

-CuntryRoad changed Seme's name to CumCraver

CumCraver: ON GOD PLS

MadameDuchess: omg 🤣😭

Babey: what the hell did I come back to

Meninblack: Chaos

CumCraver: Techno I'm sorry but I'm not sorry

CumCraver: @Porkypig I won't be responsible with what happens next

CuntryRoad: what tf you gonna do

JebusMilkies: it's getting h e a t e d

HotTamales: I'm so excited but yet worried

MamaBird: oh no pls no fighting

CuntryRoad: wait hold up

CuntryRoad: YOU PIECE OF SHIhejdHLQPrlw

-

AFckinDisastr: what is going on it's been almost 15 mins

BirdManJones: bruh  idk but I'm waiting🍵

-CumCraver sent a photo (a screenshot of a Twitter picture that shows Sumi covered in what seems to be white paint from head to toe in front of their apartment complex with the captions "who's the cum craver now bitch")

Hubby2: WHAT A MAD LAD

MadameDuchess: oh my god lmaoo

MamaBird: Why

AFckinDisastr: LMAFOOOOO

BirdManJones: oh no D:

JebusMilkies: ayo?? 👀

CumCraver: how does it feel bitch

PorkyPig: this is Sumi, bitch got paint all over my phone

PorkyPig: you whore

CumCraver: not my fault you brought your phone out

Babey: how the fuck did you get to their apartment so fast though???

Meninblack: how did he get paint AND get to their apartment

Hubby2: he fucking teleported that madlad

PPBrained: what a waste of paint

MeloncholyHate: he's a runner he's a trackstar 🏃💨💨

BirdManJones: for real though

BirdManJones: and of course you would Nogla

PPBrained: just worrying about the environment

Babey: Dreams a wizard like damn though

CumCraver: a true magician never reveals his secrets

PorkyPig: fucking die 😤😤😤 /lh

PorkyPig: bruh I'ma get high off of paint so this is a win for me

HotTamales: I kinda forgot you're using Techno's phone

PorkyPig: he's mad I'm getting paint on his phone

TheBaddie: I wouldn't blame him

MamaBird: Sumi pls go shower before you inhale more of the paint

BirdManJones: yes pls do that

CumCraver: all I'ma say is

CumCraver: I'm not paying for the property damage

PorkyPig: THE HELL YOU ARE IM CALLING THE COPS ON YOU BET

CumCraver: YOULL NEVER CATCH ME IN THE GINGERBREAD MAN 🏃💨💨💨💨

MadameDuchess: it's an honor knowing you Dream o7

Meninblack: f

HotTamales: f

GodsPeengus: wtf did I miss

-All users offline

Chapter Text

MeloncholyHate: hey @everyone just wanted to let you know Phil kinda broke his foot when going down the clinic stairs, so he is rn juiced up on drugs and we can fucking party

Meninblack: oh no dadza D:

PorkyPig: bruh that's the first thing you say when he's in a hospital

MeloncholyHate: someone had to be the party animal when dad was away

BirdManJones: hopefully sir bird gets a full recovery

BirdManJones: now about that party 👀

Babey: how did Phil break his foot

Hubby3: fucking read George

PPBrained: oh man! Hope the guys doing alright

GodsPeengus: hes on drugs he's more than alright

JebusMilkies: he's lit

PorkyPig: ong

HotTamales: wait is this still Sumi talking on Techno's phone? Or did they get a new phone?

PorkyPig: no this is Techno, no they haven't gotten a new phone yet but even with a phone Sumi has these days of disconnecting, for meditation or some shit

JebusMilkies: oh damn they really have their life together huh?

PorkyPig: ig, they've been screaming at the toaster about bacon and waffles or something

PorkyPig: either that or they're just high idk

Hubby1: they really are disconnected

MadameDuchess: frfr

CumCraver: I would disconnect but my life is in my phone

Hubby3: yeah cus you talk to George on a daily

CumCraver: I mean yeah he's my friend

CumCraver: who else am I gonna talk to

Hubby3: the disrespect 🧍

TheBaddie: we all know that fat crush you got on George, Dream

CumCraver: I-

Babey: it's obvious

CumCraver: wait George what

Babey: I was joking

CumCraver: what

Babey: I was joking, I knew that you liked that one girl that you work with

CumCraver: no?

Babey: wym? I see that you wanna ask her out Dream, I saw the little cheesy letter to invite her to a dinner

CumCraver: wait you saw that????

PorkyPig: guys pls

Babey: well it was on my kitchen table when you were over that one time

Babey: it's like you wanted me to see it, to make me jealous or some shit

CumCraver: George oh my god, it's not like that she's just my friend, she's lesbian and she's like a sister to me

Babey: Well then who was the letter for?

MadameDuchess: um I think this should be taken to dms

CumCraver: nah it's fine, Its whatever

-CumCraver is offline

Babey: huh? What I say

Hubby3: omg George

Meninblack: o h

AFckinDisastr: yeah i would like to say you are the blindest mother fucker in this chat

Hubby1: Tommy stop

AFckinDisastr: what it's true

BirdManJones: man this is ✨awkward✨

Babey: wait what did I do

Hubby1: George I don't know if you knew this but Dream has been wanting to ask you out for ages

Babey: what!?

MeloncholyHate: George when you think he made it to where you could see that note, did you not think the it was for you?

Babey: it didn't have a name written on it tho, and he's straight isn't he?

Hubby3: he came out as pan a few months ago on call, I thought you were there???

Babey: no? I might have crashed during call since I don't remember that

JebusMilkies: well obviously he did, and George, is it? I think you need to think about something's and talk to Dream 1 on 1

GodsPeengus: damn never seen you this srs Smitt

JebusMilkies: hey, at least one of us gots to

GodsPeengus: true

Babey: yeah I think you're right

JebusMilkies: I know I am, now go fix yo man's sir 👊👊 you got this homeboy

Babey: uhh okay 😳

-Babey is offline

Meninblack: never in my life have I ever felt so uncomfortable

Hubby3: imagine college drama being less dramatic than adult drama

Meninblack: well me and Tubbo are doing online classes cus of Michael

AFckinDisastr: I'm the one doing actual college cus I'm a fucking bitch who doesn't know when is enough

TheBaddie: at least we're past the whole drama thing now

BiteOf87: nah that's just love for ya 

TheBaddie: true

Hubby3: tbh that's the most they've talked in gc

BirdManJones: bruh

GodsPeengus: oh Beebs you want some pizza?

BirdManJones: wym? That's not even a fucking question. Of course I want pizza

MadameDuchess: omg you and your pizza addiction

HotTamales: mmm get Dominos

GodsPeengus: fuck that shit we getting pizza hut

HotTamales: GASP HOW DARE

BirdManJones: idgaf about where it's from as long as it's good 🤌

JebusMilkies: amen

PPBrained: I prefer dominos

HotTamales: a man of culture I see✨

PPBrained: ye

GodsPeengus: it's been an eventful day so you guys have fun settling that gay shit ❤️

BirdManJones: John you're literally Demisexual

GodsPeengus: makes it even more gay what about it 🤨

BirdManJones: on god

GodsPeengus: yes I'm here, you said on me ;)

BirdManJones: sigh, I just want my pizza

PPBrained: so needy for your pizza man

BirdManJones: you know it 😩🤌

GodsPeengus: well it's here

BirdManJones: Fuck yeah

-All users offline

Chapter Text

MamaBird: good mornin'

Meninblack: PHIL

MadameDuchess: omg dadza is back!!

FebrezeDegen: how's the foot old man

MamaBird: doing fine and fuck you

Hubby2: damn he really out here

MeloncholyHate: you should be asleep sir

BirdManJones: well he's not

MamaBird: well the meds haven't kicked in yet, it's not like I'ma go out running when I'm talking in here

HotTamales: PHIIIIILLLLLLL :D

MamaBird: hello Tubbo, how were things here when I was gone?

HotTamales: oh things… happened 👀

JebusMilkies: yes very awkward things

Meninblack: well if we're gonna talk about it.. then I might as well leave cus it makes me .. veerrryy uncomfortable 🧍

MadameDuchess: you're fine Ranboo I'll ping you when we're finished ❤️

Meninblack: thanks 

-Meninblack is offline

HotTamales: now idk how to start?

MamaBird: don't have to go deep into it mate, I'm not much of a gossiper but I just want to make sure everyone is doing alright

PPBrained: so nice 😊

MadameDuchess: I mean it's just simple, it just consists of dream and george

MamaBird: ah gotcha

FebrezeDegen: well that wasn't hard at all

MamaBird: I'm married I understand young love when I see it

PorkyPig: what an old man

MamaBird: shut up, and with how those two are… yeesh

FebrezeDegen: you're not wrong

PorkyPig: yeah it was mostly awkward and stuff but I hope those two got their shit together

MeloncholyHate: that's sounds really harsh if you say it like that, but it's true

PorkyPig: I just don't like drama like that is what I'm saying. Just gives me really bad second hand embarrassment tbh

MadameDuchess: that's fair

FebrezeDegen: yeah

GodsPeengus: yeah y'all got some problems /lh(?)

BirdManJones: John you're mentally ill

GodsPeengus: and I live by it hoe

JebusMilkies: oml

JebusMilkies: we gucci with the whole explanation thing? 

MadameDuchess: ig yeah

MamaBird: @Meninblack you can come back now I think we're done

Meninblack: ok.. well I hope you're doing well Phil!

MamaBird: thanks mate

MamaBird: I might go ahed n sleep cus im starin to get tired

MadameDuchess: go sleep Mr Minecraft sir we'll be good 😇

GodsPeengus: no promises

BirdManJones: John 👀

Meninblack: yeah, see ya Phil!

Hubby3: bye!

SadUwU: have a nice sleep 😴 

GodsPeengus: sleep on and fly high 

MamaBird: haha alrigt night

-MamaBird is offline

HotTamales: ok quick question

Meninblack: oh god

HotTamales:shut up

Meninblack: mm no ❤️

GodsPeengus: ask question I try to give answers I'm willing to speak

MadameDuchess: what the-

MeloncholyHate: wot

BirdManJones: I think I had a stroke reading that

PPBrained: I think he had a stroke typing that

GodsPeengus: idk wtf I was trying to say in the first place but ask away

PPBrained: felt that

HotTamales: I wanted to ask about everyone's pronouns! I'm just curious and don't want to be rude

Meninblack: I mean you're rude when you want to be

HotTamales: I'll steal your knees bossman shush

MadameDuchess: oh look we're actually having a civil conversation for once

GodsPeengus: I mean we can talk about other things like Cthulhu's weiner

BirdManJones: John 🤦

HotTamales: uhh ok, well my pronouns are he/they! To start it off

MadameDuchess: he/him

BirdManJones: he/they

Meninblack: he/they/it

Hubby3: he/him

Hubby1: them/xer

MadameDuchess: oh Karl! Do you prefer Xer or them better?

Hubby1: it don't matter go ham 😊

GodsPeengus: bacon

BirdManJones: ok

BirdManJones: I think you're hungry John

GodsPeengus: maybe I am

GodsPeengus: hungry for that cryptid wiener 🥵🥴

JebusMilkies: on god 🤦🤦🤦

GodsPeengus: also she/he/they/it

MeloncholyHate: oh bet, he/they

AFckinDisastr: uh.. it/them

Meninblack: Tommy, you changed them?

AFckinDisastr: ye. Uh guess what I'm Agender

JebusMilkies: ayo? same. They/bro

MadameDuchess: we love to see it ❤️

GodsPeengus: 🤌🤌

PPBrained: he/him Bois

Hubby2: we doing pronoun check?

HotTamales: yess

MadameDuchess: mhm

Hubby2: don't laught at mine I have a weird neopronoun..

MadameDuchess: we won't!

JebusMilkies: I have bro as a neopronoun you're fine 👍

Hubby2: ah, ok he/ducky

Hubby1: it's cute

Hubby3: ❤️

BiteOf87: he/they

MeloncholyHate: omg you're not ghosting us anymore

BiteOf87: you say that like I'm gonna be here often lol

MeloncholyHate: it won't hurt to dream :(

PPBrained: my nana always said to me "follow your dreams"

BirdManJones: bruh 

SadUwU: he/it for my pronouns

TheBaddie: he/hims for me! :))

Meninblack: hi bad!

TheBaddie: ho!!

HotTamales: did you just-

BirdManJones: "ho"

TheBaddie: WAIT

TheBaddie: NO

SadUwU: damn bad said ho and it wasn't even to me 😩

TheBaddie: I MEANT HI

Meninblack: sure ok keep telling yourself that it's not like my feelings are hurt or anything 😭😭😭

GodsPeengus: at least you werent called whore

TheBaddie: language!

BirdManJones: you're THE whore John

GodsPeengus: thanks babe ❤️

TheBaddie: LANGUAGE

AFckinDisastr: he's catching up on lost time

MadameDuchess: he's manifesting

Babey: we still doing pronoun checks?

Meninblack: yep!

Babey: she/he/they

GodsPeengus: are you genderfluid?

Babey: oh, no I'm just fine with any

GodsPeengus: I mean pog but damn 😔

Babey: huh?

BirdManJones: mans just wants a fluid bestie

BirdManJones: but he got a gender solid

Babey: oh i wouldn't mind being friends still

GodsPeengus: ayoo?

CumCraver: I guess that leaves me then, uh he/him

PorkyPig: nah I'm last he/they

AFckinDisastr: poggs is that everyone?

CuntryRoad: look at all these rainbow mfers in here 🌈🌈🌈

HotTamales: SUMI

GodsPeengus: Sumi ❤️

BirdManJones: he back

CuntryRoad: man kinda wanna cry cus this is the worst welcoming I've ever had 😩😩

BirdManJones: such an attention whore

CuntryRoad: you know it ;)

MadameDuchess: nice to have you back lovely ❤️

Meninblack: hihi Sumi!!

CuntryRoad: haihaiii and it's good to be back ready to fucking party

CuntryRoad: les gettit

JebusMilkies: hell yeah

-All users offline

Chapter Text

MamaBird: good morning everyone!

GodsPeengus: oh shit it's morning already?

Meninblack: morning Phil!

FebrezeDegen: morning, I'ma go back to sleep 😴

CuntryRoad: lazy ass

FebrezeDegen: I need a full 8 hours and it's not even 8 am yet

BirdManJones: well damn did you go to sleep at 12 then?

-FebrezeDegen is offline

CuntryRoad: damn didn't even answer you

JebusMilkies: how rood

BirdManJones: yeah am cry 😭

BiteOf87: Foolish doesn't answer to nobody when tired

MadameDuchess: frfr

MamaBird: I was wondering how everyone is doing

CuntryRoad: terrible

Meninblack: felt

HotTamales: Ranboo you said that you were great this morning D:

Meninblack: yeah that was when I woke up

Meninblack: I woke up at 6 am Tubbo

GodsPeengus: imagine sleeping, couldn't be me

BirdManJones: John I worry for you

Babey: bestie just tired

GodsPeengus: wait me bestie? You calling me bestie?????? 🥺🥺🥺

Babey: remember I said we could be besties :)

GodsPeengus: omg omgomg >.< 

CuntryRoad: omg Evan she's so fucking cringe rn

GodsPeengus: shut up whore I'm fangirling rn

BirdManJones: 👁️👄👁️

GodsPeengus: why tf you looking at me like that

Babey: just mad that we besties

PorkyPig: pls no more bestie shit

CumCraver: on god

GodsPeengus: y'all just jealous cus George is the best bestie I could have ever asked for

JebusMilkies: damn what am I chopped liver 😔😔

PPBrained: no you're milk dumbass

GodsPeengus: Smitty, sweetie, the light in the darkness. Shut your ass up.

GodsPeengus: and Nogla? You're doing great sweetie

Babey: John send a picture of feet cus I read that's what besties do

CuntryRoad: NO WAY 😡😠😡🤬🤬😡 JOHN FEET ARE ONLY FOR ME😡🤬😡😡 AND EVAN 😤😤😤 FUCK OFF 😠😠😠😡😤

BirdManJones: on god 🙏

CumCraver: omg you're so ridiculous lmaooo

GodsPeengus: okay 🥺 only for you George

-GodsPeengus sent a photo

[A photo of a foot with a large wound on the heel surrounded by infection and necrosis]

Babey: I-

CuntryRoad: JOHN PLS

HotTamales: skadaa skadeen get that shit off my screen 🚫🚫🚫🚫

CumCraver: WHAT??

BirdManJones: JOHN THAT IS NOT YOUR FUCKING FOOT 

AFckinDisastr: I shouldn't have opened this fucking app

BiteOf87: I think I'ma throw up

-CuntryRoad deleted 1 message

CuntryRoad: I can't with you

GodsPeengus: he wanted feet pics

BirdManJones: 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Babey: I don't think I wanna be besties anymore 😳😳

GodsPeengus: WAIT I CAN CHANGE PLS DONT LEAVE ME

Babey: I'm sorry but… I don't think it can work between us 😔😔

Babey: it's not you it's me

CuntryRoad: it is him don't lie

Babey: maybe 🤔🤐

Hubby2: what in the telenovela is this?

CuntryRoad: idk man, these fuckers 🤦‍♂️

TheBaddie: and I thought Sumi was the one that would have shown a pic like that…

CuntryRoad: I got a lot of things in my gallery Bad don't push it 

TheBaddie: pls no

GodsPeengus: damn gained a bestie and then lost said bestie in the same day

JebusMilkies: a record for you John

PorkyPig: I'm just gonna

-Porkypig is offline

Babey: didnt even say bye how rude

MamaBird: I leave for 30 min what the hell happened?

GodsPeengus: you really wanna know?

MamaBird: ???

JebusMilkies: pls don't dig yourself into a hole you can't get out of especially when speaking to John

BirdManJones: she's ruthless

AFckinDisastr: I'll let you know rn Phil, you don't wanna know

MamaBird: okay 😶

Hubby3: we really started this morning off to a decaying foot

MamaBird: a w h a t

BirdManJones: sir bird you don't want to know

CuntryRoad: Evan I love how you call Phil that

BirdManJones: what? Sir bird?

MadameDuchess: makes him sound sophisticated

GodsPeengus: mm we all should know that if Evan is sophisticated then he's out of the one braincell club

AFckinDisastr: damn you have that?

CuntryRoad: we live it

BirdManJones: pls don't kick me out I beg of thee🙏🙏

GodsPeengus: it is the way of life babe, if one shows more than one braincell thou shall be exiled

MamaBird: what the fuck is going on

AFckinDisastr: imagine getting exiled

Meninblack: frfr

BirdManJones: pls I shall mend mine ways

CuntryRoad: you realize you're making it worse for yourself right?

BirdManJones: I can be dumb I swear

JebusMilkies: you better

GodsPeengus: work harder bitch

TheBaddie; oh my goodness, language

Meninblack; he here

Meninblack: the one who called me a ho

TheBaddie: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

BirdManJones: mhm sure

CumCraver: god this chat room is like my ADHD, 12 topics in the span of 1 minute

HotTamales: that's how it should be

CuntryRoad: frfr

MadameDuchess: 💅💅yessir

MamaBird: it's not even lunch yet

PorkyPig: hey Phil you mind in sending that casserole recipe after work?

MamaBird: oh yeah, no problem I can send it rn gimme a  moment

CuntryRoad: ooo we having that lovely mamas tater tot cassie-rol, it's the damn best

GodsPeengus: I wanna marry you

BirdManJones: me first whore

GodsPeengus: 👁️👁️

GodsPeengus: Techno marry me, I want that casserole recipe

PorkyPig: uhh, no thanks. The one I'd be closest to marrying is Sumi cus I already deal with their shit on a daily

BirdManJones: I mean fair

CuntryRoad: IMA CRY TECHO SAID HE WANTD TL MARRY ME

CuntryRoad: HEY GOOGLE PLAY HOTEL CALIFORNIA 😭😭😭😭

Meninblack: first of all wtf

GodsPeengus: on god kinda jealous

GodsPeengus: gets to marry the prettiest person before us 😔😔

BirdManJones: sadge

PorkyPig; Phil pls hurry and send the recipe I beg

TheBaddie: Techno's embarrassed I can see it in his typing

CuntryRoad: how tf

HotTamales: I can't read

Meninblack: felt

MamaBird: I sent it in dms, make sure to take it out of the oven this time Techno

PorkyPig: yessirrrr

Hubby3: now I'm just wondering when the wedding gonna be 😳😳

MadameDuchess: I'll be the priest to officialize it

CuntryRoad: Scott sweetie, we know the church won't let our gay asses in 

MadameDuchess: true 😔💔

JebusMilkies: curches are overrated go atheist

GodsPeengus: "curches"

PPBrained: "xurches"

PPBrained: fuc

AFckinDisastr: damn it be like that

CumCraver: doing great 👍

Babey: I wanna be the honorary bridesmaid

Babey: or whatever it is

CuntryRoad: omg we rlly planning a wedding?

TheBaddie: I think Techno would like that 😊

PorkyPig: alright that's it

-PorkyPig is offline

BirdManJones: oh damn, he left you at the altar bb I'm so sorry

CuntryRoad: it wasnt meant to be 💔💔

CuntryRoad: I still got you hors tho

TheBaddie: sigh

AFckinDisastr: why you sighing? Sumi just got left at the quote unquote "altar" and you have the audacity to s I g h. How rude

CuntryRoad: now I know who my flower girl is

AFckinDisastr: ok listen here cunt

TheBaddie: LANGUAGE 

TheBaddie: I just feel bad cus I pointed out his discomfort and he left

MamaBird: don't feel bad… Bad, techno doesn't really mean to just rush away from embarrassment, it's just how he deals with it.

CuntryRoad: mhmm, he's done it when his old partners came over and I'd embarrass him

AFckinDisastr: wait when did Techno ever had other relationships except friends???

CuntryRoad: not my place to say Tommy, I'm just his roommate try bothering Techno next time when he's over about it

Meninblack: damn did you just roomie-zone Techno?

CuntryRoad: well I didn't mean it like that! He just ran right past me while I was here on the couch and idk vibes were off man.

CuntryRoad: Looks like he's out to drive

MamaBird: yeah let's leave him be for now, he seems to be in a bad mood as of late.

BirdManJones: hope he does okay, in other words I wanted to ask Sumi sumthn

BirdManJones: if- and I mean IF I'm able to catch a flight down to Cali would you be okay in staying at a hypothetical Airbnb with me and John

CuntryRoad: WHAT KUND KF QUESTION OS THAT

GodsPeengus: damn I don't think he likes the idea 🙄🙄

CuntryRoad: NO FUCKER YOU OKNOW WHAT IP MEAN

CuntryRoad: I would cry if y'all came down here 🥺🥺

Hubby1: that's cute 😊

BirdManJones: ayo bet Sumi, it's not official just a thing I wanted to ask 👀

PPBrained: wholesome

GodsPeengus: it's gross 🤢😤

CuntryRoad: shut up John

BirdManJones: babe shush ♥️

CuntryRoad: but I can ask if Techno is okay with y'all staying over cus I don't wanna leave him alone while I have fun. I feel like properly introducing you guys

BirdManJones: whatever works is fine

GodsPeengus: what the hottie said ^

MeloncholyHate: do we get to meet them Sumi??

MeloncholyHate: I be jealous if Techno gets to meet your partners and Phil and I don't

AFckinDisastr: what about me?

MeloncholyHate: you don't like half the girls I've let you meet so I don't think that's a good idea

AFckinDisastr: fuck off, I do not

MamaBird: ehh you kinda do

HotTamales: you didn't even like Ranboo when I first introduced him

AFckinDisastr: okay that's different cus he was in my biology class before then and it was weird

Meninblack: can confirm, it was really weird

Hubby3: well damn

BirdManJones: well it's up to Sumi if he wants to meet up with you guys

MamaBird: exactly

JebusMilkies: did I mention I was going to go with Evan too?

CuntryRoad: wait frfr? Like no cap?

JebusMilkies: no cap, I'm even bald

CuntryRoad: bestiieeeeee 🥺🥺

JebusMilkies: at least someone acknowledges that I'm their bestie, fuck you John

GodsPeengus: oi I was just having a moment with George

Babey: 🧍🧍🧍

MeloncholyHate: oh hey George I wanted to ask you something

Babey: hmm?

MeloncholyHate: @Meninblack if ya want you can leave for a bit I'll ping when done

Meninblack: okay 

-Meninblack is offline

JebusMilkies: I'ma yeet as well

-JebusMilkies is offline

MamaBird: anyone else?

Hubby2: I don't think so, most of us are nosy bitches

GodsPeengus: you got that right

Babey: what is this about?

MeloncholyHate: @CumCraver c'mere

CumCraver: oh boy

MeloncholyHate: now you don't have to answer, but I just wanted to know how you two were doing… relationship wise

MamaBird: again I think it's important to note Wilbur that it's their business we don't have to know.

MeloncholyHate: I just don't want them fighting

CuntryRoad: I don't like "fighting" either but I agree with Phil 

CumCraver: uh we really haven't talked about it yet?

Babey: ^

AFckinDisastr: omg really???

AFckinDisastr: you guys haven't talked about shit?

Hubby3: no they haven't

Hubby3: they're literally just fucking avoiding each other irl. I go to the living room and it's either Dream or George in there without the other. And of course both of these fuckers just ask me "how's George doing" or "is dream doing okay?" It's fucking irritating

Babey: …I didn't know how to approach the subject?

CuntryRoad: oml guys, it's all about ✨communication✨

MadameDuchess: yes ^^

CumCraver: well you know me Sap I can't handle shit like this

Hubby3: don't make that excuse when you basically made the first move to ask him out, it was cheesy as hell too, it was just George read the signs wrong

Babey: I didn't mean to..

GodsPeengus: it's not entirely your fault George, sometimes you just gotta figure things out with a bit of help

MamaBird: George, Dream I encourage you to talk to each other about it. Even if it's in dms just be in the same room and talk to each other. And I mean it.

Babey: okay..

CumCraver: when do we wanna do this?

Babey: idk..

MeloncholyHate: just get it over with and shit. Do it tonight I stg

Hubby3: I'll lock them in a room don't worry

CumCraver: you realize the doors in the house all lock from the inside right?

Hubby3: I'll block the door

CumCraver: fair

Babey: okay ig

CuntryRoad: well get to it, I don't like it being awkward in here as it is

HotTamales: preach

-Babey is offline

-CumCraver is offline

~a long periodically time later~

Babey: we're together

CuntryRoad: FUCK YEAH WHORE

TheBaddie: that's great! And LANGUAGE

GodsPeengus: proud of u

BirdManJones: we got more gay bitches here lessgo 🌈🌈

TheBaddie: language

MamaBird: That's good! I'm glad everything worked out

MeloncholyHate: thank god, @Meninblack @JebusMilkies come back to us they figured it out

JebusMilkies: oh thank jebus

Meninblack: okay

GodsPeengus: we celebrating today Bois

PPBrained: I want cake 🎉🎉🎉

BiteOf87: mmmm yummy

CuntryRoad: yommi in the tummy

AFckinDisastr: I thought you said my name and I freaked

CuntryRoad: ew 🤢🤢

CumCraver: thanks guys btw

MeloncholyHate: stfu we didn't do shit 🤫🤫🤫🤫

Babey: uhh okay

PorkyPig: Sumi answer your damn phone the casserole is done

PorkyPig: and thank god no more awkward shit

CumCraver: well hello to you too

CuntryRoad: IM RUNNING 🏃💨💨💨

MamaBird: pls

PorkyPig: anyways we still having that wedding

CuntryRoad: is that a question or a statement?

BirdManJones: booking that flight we all gonna get married

GodsPeengus: YES

CuntryRoad: YES PLS COME DOWN AND LETS ALL GETEY MARRIES

PorkyPig: well then

PorkyPig: I guess I gotta make more casserole

-All users offline

Chapter Text

MamaBird: good morning everyone

JebusMilkies: oh god morning hsssss

CuntryRoad: okay you Edward reject

JebusMilkies: bitch

CuntryRoad: 🖕👁️👁️🖕

CuntryRoad: morning Phil!!

CumCraver: 🌅 morning everyone!

Hubby2: ahhhhhhhhhhh

GodsPeengus: felt

Meninblack: at this point I just wait for Phil to say good morning. Hi Phil 👋

MamaBird: Hi Ranboo!

BirdManJones: good morning sir bird 🥱🥱

CuntryRoad: aww diwd thwe bwig biwrd wake my whittle biwrdy up 🥺

PorkyPig: Sumi it's too early

GodsPeengus: gwood mowrninw my wobe ♥️🥺

CuntryRoad: my dearwy bewobed ♥️♥️uwu

BirdManJones: I hate both of you

GodsPeengus: babwy is angwy :( 💔

SadUwU: 👁️👄👁️

HotTamales: omg SKEPPY JS ONLINE, WHER HAVE YOU BEN

JebusMilkies: who's Ben

HotTamales: I'll steal your fucking toes and ground your fingers in a meat grinder

JebusMilkies: damb

AFckinDisastr: someone didn't have their tea today

Meninblack: Tubbo pls

HotTamales: 👁️👁️🔪

MadameDuchess: 🧍

SadUwU: ive been gone for like a day?

CuntryRoad: really? How long has it been since we said everyone's pronouns?

SadUwU: like two days ago

MamaBird: ^^

HotTamales: that's too long gone

MadameDuchess: well some of the ppl in this chat don't even talk here anymore

MadameDuchess: Foolish has been rlly quiet lately

Hubby2: Is he doing okay?

MeloncholyHate: I haven't heard much from him either

MadameDuchess: yeah I'm getting worried :(

CumCraver: I have the phone number to one of Foolish's bfs, I texted Sam asking abt him

Hubby2: yo how you got Sam's #? That man's doesn't even use it 😳

CumCraver: he's my personal trainer so :P

CuntryRoad: Sam being your trainer gives you such bottom energy 🙄

CumCraver: what? That doesn't even make sense

CuntryRoad: have you SEEN that man???? He's 🥵🥵

CuntryRoad: SAM IS A HOTTIE THOTTIE AND YOU CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE

BirdManJones: Simp

CuntryRoad: I'm not a simp I'm just appreciating his attractiveness

CuntryRoad: also I'm betting Dream you look like a twig next to Sam

CumCraver: Its official, Sumi

CumCraver: I'm not friends with you no more cus you hurt my feelings 😭

CuntryRoad: what a pussy 🙄

Babey: I think you are very buff in my opinion Dream

CumCraver: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you Georgie

CumCraver: also Sam just texted me back

MamaBird: What did he say?

CumCraver: well he said "Foolish has been feeling sick lately" and just stuff about cancelling my gym trips to take care of him

MadameDuchess: aw I hope he feels better ♥️

BirdManJones: sending all the good vibes 📨📨

CuntryRoad: yeah hope he gets better

HotTamales: feel better bossman

MamaBird: make sure to tell Sam if he needs anything I'll be able to get them in for some meds

Hubby2: Phil is just a goddamn drug dealer up in here 😳😳

MamaBird: Quackity pls

Hubby2: oi I'm not one to send the FBI on a homie 🤫🤫

BirdManJones: I am

CuntryRoad: no tf you are not Evan sit the hell down

BirdManJones: yessir 🧘‍♂️

PorkyPig: I'm hoping Foolish gets better

PorkyPig: Anyways Tommy you free tonight?

AFckinDisastr: yup final assignments and homework is done. what do you need bossman

PorkyPig: I need help with something and I need you to help me

CumCraver: so vague

AFckinDisastr: kinda worrying me with that, I'll go

GodsPeengus: damn dives head first don't they

AFckinDisastr: if you tell me to jump I will

MadameDuchess: 🧍 so If I tell you to go to a therapist will you?

AFckinDisastr: no

MadameDuchess: worth a shot

CuntryRoad: it's ready to yeet off a bridge and I'm going down with it

AFckinDisastr: I'm not letting you push me off like last time, you're going first

CuntryRoad: OKAY THAT WAS ONE TIME

MamaBird: wait you pushed Tommy off a bridge?!?!

CuntryRoad: I wouldn't say pushed

AFckinDisastr: they fucking launched me wym

TheBaddie: Language, and omg Sumi I worry for the people around you 😶😶

CuntryRoad: thanks I'm the public menace

GodsPeengus: he's growing up so fast 🥺

BirdManJones: proud of you babe ♥️

CuntryRoad: first of all, stfu

CuntryRoad: second of all, thanks 😊

MamaBird: Sumi pls don't push Tommy off of bridges, or be near any at all

MamaBird: you too Tommy

AFckinDisastr: damn fine 🙄

PorkyPig: I'll be by in an hour

AFckinDisastr: I am afraid

AFckinDisastr: I mean excited

MeloncholyHate: don't worry Tommy it's okay to be scared

AFckinDisastr: stfu bitch

TheBaddie: language!

SadUwU: Bad, Baddie dearest pls the struggle is futile

Meninblack: I-

CumCraver: oml not Baddie Dearest

MadameDuchess: Skeppy out here

TheBaddie: what

TheBaddie: 1st pls don't call me that 2nd what struggle

-CuntryRoad changed TheBaddie's name to BaddieDearest

SadUwU: the struggle of life my dear

BaddieDearest: .-.

SadUwU: ONG PLS

Meninblack: I- x2

MadameDuchess: omg that's ✨gay✨ 💅💅

CuntryRoad: we love to see it

BaddieDearest: sigh I hate it here

AFckinDisastr: me

PorkyPig: Tommy stop what you're doing, I'm in your dorm's parking garage. Bring a mask

PorkyPig: n something dark preferably

AFckinDisastr: uh ok?

BirdManJones: wtf are y'all robbing a bank

MamaBird: better not

PorkyPig: wow it seems like I'll rob a bank at midday and ask a successful college student to help because I wanna ruin it's career 

PorkyPig: like I would do that

AFckinDisastr: I mean-

MamaBird: pls I can't take this shit anymore

CuntryRoad: I told you he would have done anything with you bruh

CuntryRoad: what a bad influence 🙄

PorkyPig: stfu like you're any better

CuntryRoad: oi I'm a fucking delight to be around

HotTamales: hmm 🤔

CuntryRoad: okay listen here-

Meninblack: tbh yeah they're nice to be around 👉👈

CuntryRoad: awww you're sweet ♥️ ily 🥺 /p

Meninblack: ilyt bestie

HotTamales: CRiNgE

Meninblack: 🙃

MadameDuchess: well in other words let's hope Tommy doesn't die today

AFckinDisastr: oh you'll know if I die or not

MeloncholyHate: I don't think the news will even care to show if you die

AFckinDisastr: wow Will

AFckinDisastr: that actually hurt

MeloncholyHate: shit sorry..

AFckinDisastr: JK JK YOU SGOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE MEGA LOL

MamaBird: dammit Tommy, you made me really worry there mate

BirdManJones: he clearly doesn't want to be that famous then?

HotTamales: Tommy I didn't know you'd be famous :D

AFckinDisastr: not yet I'm not

MadameDuchess: clearly the vibes are going from 0 to 100 and back in ten seconds in this chat

CumCraver: how it is in my home

Babey: thats you and Saps fault

Hubby3: ayo don't be like that, you join in too

Babey: it doesn't mean anything I just watch y'all cus I got nothing better to do

CumCraver: i know you do you're not slick

CuntryRoad: are we still talking about the vibes??

CumCraver: oml pls

Babey: wot

AFckinDisastr: okay I have come to the conclusion that, no Techno is not taking me to rob a bank

CuntryRoad: damn wanted to be rich

PorkyPig: Oh worm?

AFckinDisastr: omg pls never type that again

PorkyPig: mm

AFckinDisastr: I don't like helping you impress someone

CuntryRoad: oOoOO you actually in a Claire's!?

PorkyPig: fuck off, you know I will never enter that store in my life

PorkyPig: and just because they say to impress someone that doesn't automatically mean you

PorkyPig: also I rather be in the hot topic over next to claires

MamaBird: Wait, are you two at the mall???

AFckinDisastr: uh

PorkyPig: no..?

HotTamales: and you didn't take me or Ranboo??

BiteOf87: that's fucked

MeloncholyHate: FUNDY!! :D

BiteOf87: ok

-BiteOf87 is offline

MeloncholyHate: dammit :(

MadameDuchess: feelsbad wil 

Meninblack: f

AFckinDisastr: MEGA LOL

MeloncholyHate: shut up Tommy

AFckinDisastr: says the one who basically said I'm not important even when dead

AFckinDisastr: yeah I'm never letting you live that down fucker 😈

BirdManJones: damn brutal

CuntryRoad: damn now I feel intrigued on why Mr pigman is at the mall 🤔

PorkyPig: not your concern

AFckinDisastr: that's a lie

BirdManJones: yo?

AFckinDisastr: Sumi I think mr pigman wanted to get you something special, it's the most definite answer :)

PorkyPig: Tommy I stg I'll burn your entire homework assignments and your laptop if you don't shut up

-PorkyPig deleted 1 chat

BirdManJones: O k ?

MadameDuchess: damn that's the tea

Hubby1: I don't remember what was said but tru

PorkyPig: you didn't see anything

BirdManJones: idk what happened

AFckinDisastr: I gotchu

- AFckinDisastr was muted for 1440 minutes 

GodsPeengus: Dayum that's a whole day???

MeloncholyHate: never knew he had it in him

PorkyPig: I'll mute you too shush

CuntryRoad: wha?? Techno admin arc? 

- AFckinDisastr was unmuted

AFckinDisastr: Techno you fucker

PorkyPig: Sumi why

CuntryRoad: well it's not fair to mute him for a day?? Hold up

AFckinDisastr: pls don't mute me again

- AFckinDisastr was muted for 690 minutes

GodsPeengus: haha funny number

JebusMilkies: my god

PorkyPig: I mean I guess

CuntryRoad: Tommy called me a cunt in dms

Meninblack: I feel a slight pity for Tommy but ha it's funny number

GodsPeengus: that's what I'm sayin

MadameDuchess: being a cunt is what makes the dream work 💅

CuntryRoad: yep

PorkyPig: at least he wasn't muted for 2 days

CumCraver: I would go crazy tbh

CuntryRoad: pls don't remind me of that Techno…

Hubby2: wait did that actually happen???

PorkyPig: yes

CuntryRoad: 😨 it was the worst two days of my life. 

CumCraver: sux for you

CuntryRoad: shut the hell up pillow princess

CumCraver: I-

Hubby3: at least they didn't call you bottom

CumCraver: IM NOT A BOTTOM

CuntryRoad: ok bottom

CumCraver: I'll get paint again bitch

CuntryRoad: okay and? I'll get the best end of getting high off of sniffing paint whore

BaddieDearest: omg language to all

JebusMilkies: he here

BaddieDearest: hello SMii7y, I'm just so tired of this chat

Meninblack: at least he didn't call you ho

JebusMilkies: thank god

GodsPeengus: Sumi is a 100% paint sniffer

BirdManJones: hawt *lip bite*

CumCraver: okay so back to the topic of a 2 day mute

CuntryRoad: I will fucking tear you limb from limb dream don't push it

BirdManJones: Idk if I find this scary or endearing

GodsPeengus: felt that

GodsPeengus: in other words I'm shitting pissing and crying

Meninblack: o k 

CumCraver: I'm really confused now wtf

CuntryRoad: John sweety love of my life pumpkin

GodsPeengus: yessir

CuntryRoad: why the fuck

GodsPeengus: no clue

HotTamales: I don't understand what is going on now so I'ma just put in a new topic

HotTamales: what are your thoughts on nukes

Meninblack: ong pls

CuntryRoad: THATS SO RANDOM LMFAO

CumCraver: it's not like you're any different

PPBrained: they're pretty neat

GodsPeengus: Nogla 👁️👄👁️

PPBrained: what it's true?

CuntryRoad: I finna murder a man and eat him

PorkyPig: okay Jeffery Dahmer

CuntryRoad: y'know what- I'm fucking stealing the last rubber band you have

MeloncholyHate: wait what

HotTamales: what's that so important??

PorkyPig: he's trying to find the last of my rubber bands I have for those bracelet things I used to make

BirdManJones: they*

PorkyPig: fuck sorry

BirdManJones: no prob man

CuntryRoad: I mean.. it's fine if techno can use he 👉👈

CumCraver: damn Techno get that upgrade

CuntryRoad: stfu pocket pussy 

MeloncholyHate: PFFFT PLS

BaddieDearest: SUMI LANGUAGE

CumCraver: ok now that one was just uncalled for

Babey: 🧍🧍

CumCraver: STOP GEORGE I HEAR YOU LAIGHING IN THE OTHER ROOM PLS

Hubby3: I cay breTh

CumCraver: I hate it here

BirdManJones: .

~-Vanoss added Sumi, Kryoz and Techno to the chat

Vanoss: we need to talk

Kryoz: huh

Vanoss: Sumi I need to know something

Techno: what's going on?

Vanoss: gimme a sec

Sumi: what is it?

Vanoss: I know it's your choice on who you feel comfortable with about your pronouns but I just wanna make sure, and you can answer truthfully or tell me later but

Vanoss: are you and Techno seeing each other? 

Techno: what

Vanoss: I'm not mad, I know we're all open relationship but I don't wanna feel like it's going to be a problem with any of us. And I don't want to assume any more than how you are with your feelings

Sumi: no we are not

Techno: .

Kryoz: like Evan said, we're fine with it just let us know if something like.. happens with your feelings, especially towards us

Sumi: no I would never do that to you guys, I love you all no matter what

Vanoss: okay that's good, sorry for putting pressure on you honey bee

Sumi: it's okay! 

Kryoz: you alright there Techno? If you wanna say something you can, we won't be mad at you. Promise

Vanoss: didn't mean to scare you like that man I saw how you were with your friends Dream and George and their conflict. Sorry about pouring all this on you like that

Techno: no you're fine, just got a bit overwhelmed by this sudden change of atmosphere

Vanoss: which is understandable

Techno: I guess now I can own up to this ig but Sumi

Techno: I may or may not have been wanting to impress you for a while now. I know you're mostly platonic in your relationships but I'm just confessing to you rn that I love you platonically more than a friend

Sumi: aw Techno I'm glad you told me

Kryoz: damn techno I thought you and me had something 😔

Vanoss: okay whore calm down

Sumi: way to ruin the moment John

Kryoz: sorry couldn't help myself

Techno: lol I guess it's a no from you Sumi?

Sumi: I mean, since we're all here. I think if it's okay to try then we can work this out?

Kryoz: I wouldn't mind it y'know that

Vanoss: same with me, if you want Techno you can decide if you wanna be with John and me too instead of just Sumi

Sumi: y'all just wanna share you bitches

Kryoz: oi those pictures you showed us, Techno is kinda…. 😳😳

Techno: you showed them pics of me?

Sumi: what? I had to show them how attractive my roommate was 👀

Techno: you're a weird one

Sumi: yessir 😌😌

Techno: but I'll think about your offer Evan

Vanoss: me and John will be awaiting your answer :)

Kryoz: don't keep us waiting for too long ;3

Sumi: John pls-

Vanoss: either way goodnight!

- Vanoss deleted the chat room

Chapter Text

MamaBird: good morning everyone! Have a Happy Halloween!

Meninblack: Happy Halloween Phil!

HotTamales: LETS GOOOOOOOO

AFckinDisastr: YEAHHH LEZGOO

CuntryRoad: omg I'm too high for this shit why can I hear you 

PorkyPig: where the fuck are you anyways??

GodsPeengus: you lost him. What a tragedy

PorkyPig: hey he tends to wander y'know

BirdManJones: yeah we know, he calls us all the time on what we call his High Hikes

CumCraver: I'm surprised they haven't died

MamaBird: I don't want to even think about it

CuntryRoad: I do! Dying is like living but without the breathing

Meninblack: w h a t

CumCraver: ong

Hubby1: I'm not sure if that's correct or not

Babey: jeez

GodsPeengus: Sumi I'm 100% sure you are afraid to die by asphyxiation

CuntryRoad: you not wrong

MamaBird: Sumi pls be careful 

CuntryRoad: no I don't think I will

Babey: omg Sumi why are you outside our house

CuntryRoad: I don't remember where I am

CumCraver: Wh-

Babey: I can see you what the hell

MamaBird: sigh

BirdManJones: I can't even be mad at him

Hubby3: okay now why the fuck you climbing to my room hoe

CuntryRoad: I t sfr

CumCraver: DONT CLIMB AND YEXT WTH

hubby2: yext

CumCraver: shush I'm literally concern

PorkyPig: he do a concern

GodsPeengus: Sumi if you break a bone I'ma break Evans back

BirdManJones: if that means what I think it does, Sumi pls break a bone

CuntryRoad: I gotchu 

Babey: Sumi don't you fucking dare

MeloncholyHate: I barely woke up what's going on

AFckinDisastr: Will it's like 2 pm?

MeloncholyHate: yeah and?

MamaBird: I'm s t r e s s e d

BirdManJones: sir bird is doing a stress

MadameDuchess: It worries me how silent Sumi went after this?

Hubby3: nah they passed out, when they climbed through the window. Said all that hiking made them tired

PorkyPig: well make sure they stay asleep while I pick him up

CumCraver: yessir

JebusMilkies: bruh I'm not on for one morning and this shit happens

PPBrained: it's Halloween that's why

MadameDuchess: the start of one crazy Halloween

Hubby2: Sapnap come over so we can go trick or treating

Hubby3: bet?

BirdManJones: aren't you a bit old to do that?

Hubby3: .

CumCraver: o h

Hubby3: um I'll have to inform you that I'm the ripe age of fuck off 🖕

Bird: damn 👁️👄👁️

GodsPeengus: well it was kinda deserved

GodsPeengus: it's never a time where you're too old for trick or treating Evan

Hubby3: thank you

Babey: I agree with Vanoss

CumCraver: babe you wound me

Babey: I say by the age of 19 you're too old to go

PPBrained: I'm fucking 29 years old fuck that, I still go trick or treating 

HotTamales: I got no time for trick or treating now that I have to study more for mid terms

AFckinDisastr: felt that

PorkyPig: imagine being in collage

AFckinDisastr: imagine being a stupid fuck

PorkyPig: bro I dropped out of my majors and still got an associates degree for medicine and shit

CuntryRoad: miss me with that gay shit

PorkyPig: damn he's awake

Hubby3: oops

PorkyPig: I'm omw Sumi sit tight

CuntryRoad: I'm standing isthat ok?

HotTamales: I mean good for you?

PPBrained: ha

GodsPeengus: wtf Nogla I would never

PPBrained: wym

GodsPeengus: don't ever use one "ha" again, either it's "haha" or "hahaha" that's it 

HotTamales: I'm so confused

Meninblack: oh I forgot to show you guys Micheal's costume

JebusMilkies: that was a quick change

-Meninblack sent a photo [picture shows Micheal in a cute suit and having a white glove on one hand with the snapchat caption in the middle "he's Michael Jackson haha"]

MadameDuchess: awwww ♥️

PorkyPig: adorable

CuntryRoad: BITCH THATS CUTE

CumCraver: he's a smooth criminal

GodsPeengus: Billie jean is definitely not his lover

PPBrained: it's gonna be a thriller night

AFckinDisastr: oml pls

Babey: im looking at that man in the mirror 

AFckinDisastr: not you too gogy

CuntryRoad: we all just became MJ fans right there

PorkyPig: mhm

PorkyPig: Sumi get your ass down here, use the stairs preferably 

CuntryRoad: you said preferably, so I'ma jump out the window

CumCraver: they won't I got them in a choke hold and bringing them down

Babey: be careful don't actually wanna choke them

Hubby2: no fun

PorkyPig: shut up Quackity, I rather have my partner alive

MeloncholyHate: Partner??

AFckinDisastr: p-partner!?!?!

MadameDuchess: yo??

GodsPeengus: does technoblade is gay?

PorkyPig: :|

Hubby3: ayo when did this happen

PorkyPig: nope you got crumbs and that's all I'm giving

Hubby2: starving us with the juicy details sir

PorkyPig: suffer

GodsPeengus: Mr blade pls spare but a crumb of coochie 😩😩

BirdManJones: lol wtf 

PorkyPig: I-?

CuntryRoad: that's ew

HotTamales: LOL STARVE

MamaBird: damn

JebusMilkies: damb

CuntryRoad: btw fuck y'all I'ma go trick or treating

Hubby3: LEZGOOOO

-All users are offline

Chapter Text

MamaBird: good morning!!

Hubby1: morning! 😊

Hubby3: morning my love ♥️

AFckinDisastr: Sapnap I thought you said that to my father wtf

MamaBird: uh

PorkyPig: pls it's too early

BirdManJones: fr

CuntryRoad: no hoeing for the dilf that's Quackity's job

Hubby2: ayyy papi 😩 

MamaBird: pls

Hubby2: I'm surprised you're not used to it

SadUwU: he does it to bad all the time

BaddieDearest: and I'm not even a dad >:(

Hubby2: I mean unless I call you daddy ;)

BaddieDearest: QUACKITY

Hubby1: harlot

Hubby3: I thought I was daddy :o

BaddieDearest: O MY GOSH PLEASE STOP

CuntryRoad: NOT YOU DADDY KINK SHAMING, BAD

PorkyPig: ong I'ma unplug the wifi Sumi I stg

CuntryRoad: more like unplug my life support 

MadameDuchess: pls-

BaddieDearest: I hate it here

AFckinDisastr: we know

GodsPeengus: felt that but it's more bearable for me

CuntryRoad: whore

GodsPeengus: nvm i hate it here as much as you do Bad

BaddieDearest: :|

AFckinDisastr: we all do

CumCraver: I just wanna eat my Mac and cheese in peace without this GC blaring my ass off.

Hubby3: well because you got such a boney ass that you feel it bitch

BaddieDearest: oh my goodness please no 

GodsPeengus: it has been started 

PorkyPig: y'know what I'ma just 

-PorkyPig is offline

CuntryRoad: damn ok

Hubby3: Dream

CumCraver: I'm not answering you cus you think my ass is boney. Just for your clarification I have an ass 🙄

Hubby3: what ass?

Hubby2: the girls are fighting

GodsPeengus: without me 😩😩

CuntryRoad: 😳

CumCraver: wym? I got cake bitch stfu

Hubby3: I'll ask the man the myth the Lima bean

Hubby3: @Babey does dream got cake?

Hubby2: not the "Lima bean"

CuntryRoad: snatched

Babey: I mean

CumCraver: babe pls

MadameDuchess: moment of truth?

BirdManJones: this is like an episode of Maury or whatever that fuckers name is

Babey: his butt is... Uh

CumCraver: George please I'll do anything, say I got a fat ass

GodsPeengus: no keep going bestie we want the read

Babey: it's …... decent?

CuntryRoad: OMFG HE WENT THERE

BaddieDearest: 🤦🤦 I hate it here

SadUwU: OM G PLS

MadameDuchess: Dream rn >>🏃‍♂️💨💨🎥🏃

CuntryRoad: CUT THE CAMERAS DEAD ASS

CumCraver: GEORGE WHY

MadameDuchess: DEAD ASS

CuntryRoad: SCOTT YE S 😭😂

AFckinDisastr: 🧍

CumCraver: YOU TRAU TOR GEORGE

Babey: that's for eating my leftover Chinese food >:(

Hubby2: omg the disrespect 😨

PPBrained: that's called being petty 💅💅

GodsPeengus: never eat anyone's leftovers

BirdManJones: John you bitch you're such a hypocrite

PorkyPig: I take a shower and come back to whatever the fuck this is

CuntryRoad: omg not the 💅💅💅 Nogla

PPBrained: wot I'm learning

CuntryRoad: wh-

GodsPeengus: thank god

PPBrained: I have evolved

Babey: well since the ass has been revealed I'll be taking a nap now

Babey: good night 😴😴

CuntryRoad: good night my prince 👑

CumCraver: fuck off he's my prince

CuntryRoad: that's gay 🤢🤢🤢

GodsPeengus: Sumi you're dating 3 people

CuntryRoad: IM JUST SAYIN BRUH

AFckinDisastr: WAIT IM BACK 

Hubby3: three?!?

CumCraver: you got the hoes?

SadUwU: H U H

CuntryRoad: oop- gotta blast 😗✌️

-CuntryRoad is offline

BirdManJones: oop he gone

JebusMilkies: I've missed an ass convo and no @? Damn fake friends

GodsPeengus: on god? Forgot who you were

JebusMilkies: bitch you wish

PPBrained: haha that looks like it rhymed

AFckinDisastr: it's does lmao

MadameDuchess: Chile, anyways so- what's this about a fourupple 

AFckinDisastr: is that even a word?

MadameDuchess: I'm trying my best Tommy shush

PorkyPig: shut up we don't talk about y'alls dating business as much as y'all do damn back up

GodsPeengus: hawt

PorkyPig: pls

Babey: I mean true, I'd say something about mine and Dreams dating is going well but he's booty hurt cus I made him ass-less

PPBrained: I get it, booty hurt

Babey: haha v funny

GodsPeengus: I forgot to laugh 😐

PPBrained: stfu John I'm fighting for my life to be apart of this GC

PPBrained: and if I have to act like the dumb friend then so be it 😌

JebusMilkies: damb shit got deep-

Babey: anyways.. Dream went to go get more chinese food 😋

Hubby3: well let's hope he doesn't eat these leftovers

Hubby3: also what happened to the fucking nap George

Babey: y'all hear sumthn 💅

Hubby2: what a bitch

BirdManJones: by then youd tell us he got a micro penis

MamaBird: pls there's innocence

AFckinDisastr: I'm not innocent at all Phil did you know that?

MamaBird: nope you're opinion is invalid, if they ask, you're in third grade

Hubby2: LOL BRIH GOT DOWNGRADEX

AFckinDisastr: Phil pls

Babey: Evan I can say he definitely does not have a micro peen

Babey: very far off 😳😳😳

GodsPeengus: oh damn that's the tea

PorkyPig: now I know why I don't wanna hear shit from you omg

SadUwU: go to horny jail 🙇🔨

CuntryRoad: just saying we lost a valiant soldier to a missing ass 😔

CuntryRoad: send your prayers gamers ✌️

SadUwU: our daddy hallowed be the name 🙏

BaddieDearest: I-

Babey: bless

MadameDuchess: I'm atheist 😩

CuntryRoad: gorl same 

JebusMilkies: I believe in our lord and savior bingus

GodsPeengus: not peengus?

BirdManJones: leave peengus out of this

GodsPeengus: no ♥️

BirdManJones: no ass privileges for you

PorkyPig: oof

CuntryRoad: NOT THE ASS PRIVILEGES

AFckinDisastr: how would that even work?

BirdManJones: well when a man and a man love each other v much

AFckinDisastr: okay you can stop right there, no thanks 

BirdManJones: gottem 

AFckinDisastr: wot

BirdManJones: nothin 😳

BirdManJones: how bout that weather huh

GodsPeengus: Evan, the weather is shit

PorkyPig: true that

-All users are offline