Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Could you stop pacing? You´re giving me a headache”, Sam shouts, having watched Lena go up and down the living room for the twelfth time now.

“I´m sorry.”, Lena replies, “I´m just really nervous.”

Nervous about Kara´s reaction to a literal sea of flowers in her appartement and her favourite baked goods in heart shapes on the kitchen counter, that Lena had spent all day making just for her.

Now, this wasn´t particularly anything they hadn´t done for each other before, but today Lena wanted to make it clear, once and for all, that this time it most definitely is not a platonic gesture. Today, she wanted to finally confess her feelings for Kara. She wanted to clear up any confusion and get rid of any doubt and finally tell Kara that she was indisputably, without a doubt, 100% in love with her.

But now that it was almost time to do so, she was beginning to have second thoughts.

“What if this is too much? Or what if I´ve waited too long and now she doesn´t want to be more than friends? Or what if I´ve totally misinterpreted the situation?”

“Lena, everything will be fine.”, Sam tried to reassure, “That girl adores you more than anything. The way she looks at you, you´d think you were the most precious thing she´s ever seen. And every time you smile at her, she turns into a blabbering, giggling mess. I´m telling you. She´s just as much head over heels for you, as you for her.”

“Oh … ok. Y-Yeah, you´re probably right.”, she replies, wiping her hands on the sides of her jeans and fumbling with the sleeves of her green blouse. She had chosen this exact outfit, because she knew it was one of Kara´s favourites. Every time she wore it, Kara would point out how it made her look “soft” and more like “her Lena, instead of boardroom Lena”. Her Lena. Those words made her heart flutter every time.

Normally she didn´t like people being possessive or claiming to have a say over her, but with Kara it was different.

Growing up she had made a promise with Andrea “You jump, I jump”, which they would throw around whenever one of them had a (mostly crazy) idea, but only when she met Kara, did she realise that with her, she meant those words literally. If Kara would jump off a cliff, she would too without a second thought. Hell, she hated flying and tried to avoid it with everything she had, but with Kara, she almost liked it. Before she even had the chance to get nervous, Kara was already by her side, squeezing her hand and wrapping her other arm tightly around her and not letting go until Lena would completely relax. With Kara, she felt safe, no matter where they were or what they were doing.

But her all time favourite thing was just sitting on the couch cuddling, while Kara told her stories about all of the different planets, she´s been to. And in moments like those, as cliché as it sounds, she didn´t care if the world would end, as long as she got to spend her last moments with Kara.

Sam´s chuckling brought her back to the now.

“You were thinking about her again, weren´t you?”, she asked, a knowing smirk on her lips.

But Lena didn´t get to reply, when just a second later they heard keys turning in the door.

“Here we go.”, Lena thought to herself.

Chapter Text

“Here we go”, Lena thought to herself.

The front door to Kara´s appartement opened and Kara came inside, dropping her purse next to the front door. Just then, she spotted the flower petals on the ground, which definitely hadn´t been there when she left this morning.

Confused, she looked around, taking in her surroundings. The petals were arranged neatly, forming a path. The sides of it lined with dozens of bouquets of all her favourite flowers, going past the kitchen, where she could see her favourite treats sitting on the counter, and further on all the way to her sofa, where Lena was standing, smiling at her.

Kara made her way over to her, enveloping her in a hug and then flopping onto the couch.

“Thanks, Lee. That´s so sweet. I had a rough day. Andrea was nagging me about a deadline and then William tried to sweet talk his way onto her good side again. I swear, he was like 5 seconds away from licking her boots. And on top of that, he asked me to cover for him, so he could go who knows where and leave me with all his work. I got to spend my lunch break with Alex, though, so that was good. We got donuts, cause Alex wanted to bring some back for Kelly for their date night. Oh no. Wait a minute. … Lee, I didn´t forget a friend-aversary, did I Is that why brought all these flowers? Rao, I´m a terrible friend.”

“No, Kar. That´s not. I … No, you didn´t forget anything.”, Lena tries to stop Kara´s rambling, sitting down beside her and putting a comforting hand on her arm.

“Oh … good. So, not that I don´t appreciate this, but what´s the occasion?”, Kara asked gesturing at everything.

This was it. This was the moment Lena has been working up to. The time had come to tell Kara. She just had to open her mouth and say it. But that wasn´t as easy as it sounded.

In the background, Sam was slowly tip-toeing out of the appartement, mouthing a “tell her” and giving Lena an enthusiastic thumbs up gesture.

Lena tried to conceal her nervousness with humour.

“Well, you know me. Go big or go home, right?”. Seriously? Come on, Lena. You got this. It´s just Kara.

Lena fidgets with her sleeves again and clears her throat, then takes in a deep breath and slowly exhales through mouth.

“I … Well … I … You know how I´m always for big, over the top gestures. A-a-a-and …”, how does she always become such a stuttering mess around Kara. Usually, she doesn´t think twice about every little thing she says. She can hear Lillian´s voice at the back of her mind, saying “Insecurity is for the weak. Just say what you want loud and clear.”.

Kara´s soft and understanding voice pulls her out of her thoughts.

“It´s ok. Whatever it is. You can tell me, baby.”

And that´s where the shoe drops. The push that Lena needed to get just an ounce of her confidence back. This little nickname that Kara had started using every now and then.

“Kara, don´t.”, another deep breath, “Please don´t call me that, if you don´t mean it. I know you said, that you care about me and you reassure me all the time that you want me around, but I … I need to know, if you really mean it. Because every time you call me that, my heart feels like it´s jumping out of my chest and my stomach gets all fluttery. And all I can think about is how I want you to mean it. Really mean it, in the way it was intended to. Because I really want you to. Because I can´t imagine my life without you ever again. Because you´re my everything. Because I … I´m in love with you.”

Kara looks at her, eyes wide, opening and closing her mouth as if to say something but nothing comes out.

“I´m sorry. We can just pretend this never happened and go back to …”, Lena tries to retreat but Kara interrupts her with a shaky, soft voice.

“No, Lee. I. I do. I mean it. Rao, this is … I can´t believe this is happening.”, she smiles, slowly reaching out to take Lena´s hands in hers, stroking her thumbs over the back of them and looking up.

And when blue meets green, she says with a clarity that Lena has never heard in Kara.

“I mean it. In every way. Probably from the moment I met you. You were such a mystery to me and I´ve never met any other girl like you. And I´ve visited quite a few planets. I mean it. Every time when I lie awake at night ´cause I just can´t stop thinking about you. I meant it, every time and I wanted to tell you. Believe me, I wanted to, but then I messed up and convinced myself that you´d never want someone like me. But I mean it, baby.”