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Chapter Text

((12 years ago) Tommy's 5)

Tommy was walking home from Uncle Phil's house exhausted, he was sparring with Techno when Phil said he'd better head home. 

As he grew nearer, he noticed his house had an eerie feeling weighing down on him. He quickened his pace, fearing the worst. By the time he was bursting through the door, his breaths were coming short.

"Mom? Dad?" Tommy called.

Silence welcomed him. He ran to the living room, they weren't there.

Their bedroom, nothing.

Bathroom, nowhere to be found.

Tommy's questions turned to pleading. "Dad?"

No answer.

"Mom?"

Nothing. 

Tommy walked to the kitchen.

There they were, dead. Their eyes were so lifeless and dull, blood was spilled on the floor, staining the white tile. A gun was gripped in his mom's hand. She was slumped on a chair while his dad lay on the ground. He ran towards them, hoping he could save them. The blood was thick on his hands as he gripped his dad’s head, the color the darkest red Tommy had ever seen. It started to stain his clothes as he shook his dad violently. He only lulled with the movement. He put two fingers to his dad's neck-- he didn't know how it was supposed to help, or what it did, but he saw it in the movies so he did it. Eventually Tommy gave up and moved to his mom. He gazed deeply into her eyes, looking for any sign of life, there was none. They were dead, he couldn't save them.

Tommy crumpled to the ground coming together, sobbing. The black liquid soaked into his clothes, making him cringe at the feeling, but he didn't care anymore. What was there to life anymore?

Tommy didn’t notice, but at one point he was clutching his shirt and his hands were white from their grip on each other. 

Once his mind cleared, he thought about calling Phil and tried to remember the number.

He decided on one of them, and plugged it into the telephone. It felt like forever once they answered, but he knew it was only a few seconds. "Hello?"

"P-phil?" Tommy stuttered.

“Who?”

He hangs up and tries another.

They answer almost immediately.

“Hello?” This was Phil. Tommy breathed out shakily, keeping the sobbing down.

"Hey Toms, what's wrong?" Phil asked in a softer voice.

Tommy debated on how to tell Phil what happened, he didn't really know what happened himself, so he just replied with, "P-please come, qui- quickly." He hiccuped. 

"Okay, I'm coming, just wait there, okay?"

"Okay." Once Phil hung up, Tommy started crying again, he cried until he couldn't breathe. He then mindlessly walked to the bathroom sink and washed the blood off himself. 

Frantic knocking came to the door and then someone burst through the doors. Phil quickly found me and figured out the situation. He wrapped his wings around Tommy, they felt like clouds.

"It's okay, Tommy. I'm here." Phil cooed. He rubbed soothing circles through his back, and it released a bit. "I need to call a friend real quick, okay?"

Tommy just nodded as Phil's warmth left him, leaving him alone.

A few agonizing minutes passed and the guys in black suits from the movies came rushing into the house. One with dark green hair and a gold chestplate came to greet Phil. They talked in hushed voices, and after they were done, Phil brought me outside.

The sun had already set and Tommy could hear howling in the distance. He hated the dark, anything could be right there, out of his vision. Tommy whimpered and huddled close to Phil, who kept telling him everything was going to be okay. Tommy knew it wasn't okay the second he saw the men in black. Whenever they come, things are wrong.

Phil asked for them to go to his house for the night, Tommy nodded. The flight took at least 5 minutes, and once they got to Phil's house, Techno and Wil were staring at him from inside the window.

As Tommy entered, he heard Wil muttering something about how bloody his clothes were, Phil just rushed Tommy away, ignoring them.

Phil gave him a warm bath and clean pajamas that he guessed were Wil’s, Techno would never forgive Phil if he let Tommy use his PJ's.

He slept with Wilbur on the bottom of their bunk bed while Techno was sleeping on the couch, insisting that Tommy would only keep him up. He fell asleep instantly, forgetting what happened previously that day, until his dream started.

Tommy was floating in a black abyss, his mom was 10 feet away, her lifeless eyes staring at him. A shot in the head killed her, suicide. Blood stained her right side, where the bullet entered her head, the blood was still wet and oozing down her side. As he blinked, the corpse was replaced with another. He had a bullet to his chest, murder. Blood was still gushing out of the wound. His eyes never blinked, staring at Tommy, it pierced his soul, sending shivers down Tommy’s spine. "Why weren't you there for us?" He spoke.

"What?"

"Why didn't you save me, us?" The dying father boomed.

I couldn't- you were already gone-" Tommy tried.

"No, Thomas. We were never gone. You didn't save us."

"You were dead when I came home-"

"You should've come sooner." Tommy's dad said.

"But-"

"No, you could've saved us, and you didn't. Now you shall have the same fate."

Gravity took him down to the bottomless pit. He screamed out for help, but no one would answer. Tears streamed down his face, the sobbing echoing throughout the abyss, but he was alone. 

He noticed something. It was the ground or the so-called bottomless pit, growing nearer and nearer. He fell face down on the blinding white below him and stood up despite the pain surging through his body. Once his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw Techno towering above him, holding an axe to his throat.

There were things different with him. He had a blood red cape. Techno’s eyes were black crossing white. The look he gave Tommy was inhumane, insane. This wasn’t the Techno he knew, this was a monster.

Just as Techno was about to strike, Tommy raised his arm to shield himself. Instead of slitting Tommy’s throat, Techno got his arm at full force. 

Tommy screamed out in pain, gripping his arm with the other. 

Techno didn’t wait for his brother to recover, he just went for his chest, a final blow.

Tommy screamed out as his vision darkened.

Chapter Text

(Still 12 years ago)

"Tommy!" Wilbur's anxious pleading awoke Tommy. His throat was sore, was he crying? He checked his cheeks, they were wet.

Phil and Techno went unnoticed by Tommy. "I saw them." He murmured, eyes wide.

"Who?" Wil asked.

"Mom and Dad." Phil drew in a sharp breath, Tommy taking a quick glance at him.

"It's going to be okay." Phil lied, scooping Tommy up. He gave a longing stare into Phil's eyes, but saw a corpse looking back. Phil's big, exotic wings were cut from the body, with blood smearing each feather. The wings made a squelching sound. Tommy made a sudden shrill and tried to shove himself away from the body. "What's wrong, mate?" He asked, letting Tommy scurry away from him, but as Phil opened his mouth, white bubbles formed.

Tommy stared at Techno, seeing if he saw what Tommy did, but Techno's eyes went glossy white. Blood started to ooze from his mouth and neck. As he cocked his head to the side, there was a loud cracking sound and Techno's head was being detached from his body.

Tommy closed his eyes shut. Techno couldn't die, Techno NEVER dies. Why was everyone dying? Tommy prayed this was all a nightmare.

"Make it stop." Tommy pleaded.

"What?" Phil asked, he didn't try to hide the concern in his voice.

Tommy didn't respond.

"Tommy, bud. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong." Phil tried to comfort. Tommy just shook his head and squeezed his eyes tighter as Phil's corpse showed in his imagination. It was dark, but at the time, that was what comforted him most. He was safe here, he knew his mind. Tommy didn't want to open his eyes again, not when what he saw could still be there.

Phil sighed and squeezed him tightly.

They were like that for a good hour, Tommy breathing shakily in Phil's arm while Techno and Wilbur went back to bed. Eventually, Tommy drifted into an uneasy, and dreamless sleep.

-

Tommy woke hours later to nobody with him, but with the memories of the previous day.

What went so wrong? Tommy wanted to go back to the days when he could come home to the smell of fresh bread and warm greetings from his parents.

Tommy felt a hand touch him softly and he flinched. "Hey, it's okay. It's just me, Wilbur." He relaxed a bit. "I'm right here." Wilbur softly caressed his back.

Tommy decided to try again, squinted his eyes open. Nothing was off. He opened them more, looking for the blood of Phil and Techno, finding none. Tommy slowly looked at Wil, first seeing his sweater, then he saw the blood.

There was blood soaking a rip in his sweater, underneath that was a visible wound, a stab in the chest. Blood dripped from his mouth and his eyes lulled to the back of his head. Dark blue tears streamed down his face.

Tommy whimpered and shut his eyes tightly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, there was an echo to his words, like he was in a canyon hundreds of feet from Tommy.

"I saw you." He whimpered again, the image flashing into Tommy's head.

"Is that a bad thing?" He chuckled.

". . .dead." Tommy finished.

Wilbur stayed silent for a minute then broke the silence with, "It's just your imagination. I'm not dead, look at me." He said reassuringly.

Tommy looked, but only saw the ghost of Wilbur staring back. "I can't. I can't see you alive. All I can see is a stab in your chest! Your eyes are distant and there's blood covering your sweater!" Tommy cried, closing his eyes again.

"Hey, hey. Don't worry about it. I'm alive no matter what you see. I'll always be alive. . . You want to try to sleep again?"

Tommy nodded and drifted off, snuggling into Wilbur.

-

When he awoke, Phil was grouped in the snuggle party. He tried to leave when he noticed Tommy awake, but Tommy hissed and snatched Phil's cloak, preventing him from leaving.

They stayed like that for around an hour, at least Tommy and Phil did. Wilbur got bored and went back to his room.

-

"Hey," Phil said. "Do you want something to eat?" Before then, Tommy neglected the rumbling of his empty stomach. He nodded and Phil softly let Tommy rest some more on the couch while he made sandwiches. It was cold without Phil's warm body around him.

Phil brought the sandwiches to Tommy, watching as he devoured it. "So, Tommy, are you willing to open your eyes for me?" The image of Phil's corpse flashed in his mind and he immediately shook his head.

Phil sighed, "Okay."

-

Days went by like that, Tommy refusing to open his eyes, despite Phil's encouragement. Tommy was getting used to being blind and got around the house much better, but still bumping into lamps and couches frequently. From a loss of the most relied sense, Tommy's hearing, smell, touch and taste have gotten stronger.

"Do you think you'll ever open your eyes again?" One day Phil asked. Tommy thought for a moment. Would he want to live in the dark his whole life? Would he ever see Phil again? Maybe he could get used to the dark, it's better than seeing corpses his whole life.

Tommy shook his head slowly, Phil responding with, "I need to talk to Techno and Wil real quick, I'll be right back."

"Okay." Tommy said. Phil then left him to wander the house. He was giving Tommy more trust as the days passed, and hopefully, one day, he wouldn't need to be checked on every 5 minutes.

Being the curious bitch he was, Tommy followed Phil from a safe distance, he walked into Wilbur and Techno's room. Since Tommy came here, Phil's been getting the spare bedroom a good polish up for him. Now he has his own room and feels like he belongs.

Tommy stayed at the door, not knowing if he should hear the conversation or not, probably not, but he wanted to know why they had to hide something from him.

"So I've been doing some research about why Tommy won't open his eyes and I came across something called Optophobia." Phil started.

"You think we know what that means?" Techno asked.

"I was going to say, until you interrupted me. As I was saying, Tommy has Optophobia, the fear of opening one's eyes. So don't pressure him, I'm looking at you, Techno." Tommy heard Wilbur laughing his head off while Techno snickered .

"Tommy's seen things not even adults are prepared to see. Just be fragile with Tommy, he'll probably be skittish this first month he's with us. Now go to bed."

Tommy quickly ran to his bedroom when he heard Phil walking towards the door. He nearly bumped into every object in the hallway, and tripped into his bed making a loud thumping noise.

Tommy stayed silent for a moment, the only thing he could hear was the frantic heart beat that came from everywhere at once.

"You good Toms?" Phil asked approaching his room.

"Yeah, I just bumped my head into the wall." He responded quickly.

"Okay. Goodnight!"

"Night!" Tommy tried sleeping, but with the rapid heart beat, it was useless. So instead, he listened to the wind, the birds, anything out in the forest his hearing could reach, until he drifted to sleep.

When he woke up, Phil invited Tommy to run some errands with him, Tommy gladly accepted and they set off.

There was only one errand they needed to run, and it was pretty much pointless. All Phil got was a stupid cloth.

As they trekked home, Phil explained the cloth. "You can wear this on your eyes so you don't have to worry about opening them, you want to try it on?"

". . .Sure." Tommy decided.

Phil then softly wrapped the cloth around his head, fastened it, then put another one around Tommy's neck.

"Just in case you lose your other one, this one's red, so it is possible that you could see through it.

"Thanks, Phil." Tommy never did well with "thank you's" and "you're welcome's" but he truly meant it this time.

Chapter Text

(Present Day)

Tommy has memorized every inch of Phil's house top to bottom. "Time to eat boys!" Phil's voice rang through the house. Tommy's senses have excelled farther than any human has. He ran downstairs, getting the whift of Shepherd's Pie.

Phil smelled like mist, Techno smelled like wood, and a tinge of iron, Wilbur smelt mostly like dank wood.

Tommy sat next to Wilbur, across from Techno. "Are you boys excited for school to start?" Phil asked.

"Not for the learning part, but I'm excited to see how some friends have grown this summer." Wil responded.

"Pretty much the opposite." Techno commented.

"Have no friends, hate learning, it will be another great year." Tommy said.

"Well someone must be friends with you, Tommy." Phil insisted.

"Nope."

There was silence until Wilbur said, "You know I've been out and about all day, right?"

"Yeah, what have you been doing?" Phil asked

"I got together with a couple close friends and we started making songs together, we even got ourselves a band name. It's Lovejoy."

"That's great! You need to perform in front of us sometime." Phil commented.

"I'll make sure of that." Wil had a mischievous tone to his words, it kind of scared Tommy.

They ate dinner and went their separate ways. Phil cleaning up, Techno and Wilbur going to their separate rooms.(They had an extension built in when Techno broke the bunk bed with his wooden sword.) Tommy went outside, listening to the soft groaning of zombies and the clanking of bones on a skeleton.

Tommy breathed in, smelling the rotten flesh the zombies gave off. The smell of the familiar pine trees was calming.

Tommy sat there and listened to the forest when he heard a soft, sad strum coming from Wilbur's room. Tommy was always pleased when Wil played his guitar, his music was enticing, he could lock out everything but the guitar and Wil's humming. Hearing his fingers quickly slide on the strings to make a different note was soothing. Hearing every individual sting give off a different sound was pleasing. Hearing the softness of Wilbur's voice was hypnotizing.

It nearly made Tommy fall asleep on the patio, a loud groaning of a zombie had drawn Tommy back to reality, it smelled him. Tommy crouched down, low enough to grab two throwing knives he hid in his boots. He aimed where he last heard the zombie, waited for the next sound to come from the zombie, and threw the knife with (hopefully) perfect accuracy, hearing a soft thump from the corpse. He'd have to grab his knife in the morning.

Tommy walked back inside, forgetting that he shut the door and hit head with glass. "Shit!" Tommy yelled in frustration. He slid the door open annoyed, then walked upstairs into his room.

"You okay, Tommy?" Phil called.

"A-okay Phil." Techno responded. Tommy started to wheeze.

Phil sighed then said, "I'm glad you're okay, but I was asking Tommy."

"I-I'm fine!" He tried to say in between the gasps.

"You don't sound like it." Techno commented. He started to get light-headed.

"Tommy, are you okay in there? Is that coughing or laughing?" Techno wondered, it only made the wheezes more inhumane.

"Are you calling out to your fellow Raccoons, Tommy?" Wilbur jokes.

"Goodnight!" Tommy tried to stop wheezing.

"I don't think anyone can fall asleep while you're choking like that." Phil laughed.

"You're right Phil, go tell him a bedtime story." Wilbur teased.

"I don't think telling him a bedtime story will make him stop choking." Techno chuckled.

"Will you all just shut up already? Your comments aren't helping your cause." Tommy retorted when he could breathe again.

"I don't think our causes are the same as what you think our causes are." Techno said.

"Alright boys, let's all get to bed and try to sleep. The neighbors will be able to hear us if we keep this up." Phil said.

"Finee." Wil's whines echoed as silence crept in.

Phil came into Tommy's room a minute later and opened his closet door, Tommy sat in his bed while he rummaged through his clothes. "I think these clothes would look good for tomorrow."

"Pog."

With that, Phil left him to sleep.

-

The dream Tommy woke to was a familiar place, in his dreams, Wilbur called it "My L'manburg". He almost always was in this place in his dreams.

"My first decree, of this great country, is to revoke the citizenship of Wilbur Soot, and Tommyinnit." A man's voice rang through a crowd of people, he had wicked horns that curved around his unusual ears. Then he blinked and was in a cave.

"When I said you're never gonna be president Tommy, that wasn't a joke, that's the truth. You're never gonna be president." Wilbur's voice echoed in Tommy's ears.

Techno suddenly appeared in front of him. "Look, the only universal language is violence, and we've had that conversation, we spoke that language. In the pit. It's over Tommy."

Techno then told Tommy of a boy named Theseus, he saved his land and was banished, never to return, left to rot in the wilderness. Then he spawned nethers and Tommy started fighting for his life.

"It was never meant to be." Tommy heard Wilbur say.

Then he was flung away by a great explosion, and L'manburg blew up.

Chapter Text

Tommy woke with cold sweat running down his spine. Every time he dreamed the dream, it always felt so real. Every time he got to see just a bit further into it, further into the nightmare.

Tommy went to the bathroom to wash his face, he stared at his reflection blankly. It was terrifying when he saw it, how he would die- at least, that's what he thought his curse was.

He stared at a boy, beaten to death, blood poured down his forehead, his face was so deformed that Tommy couldn't recognize who he was staring at. He sympathized with who would find his body.

He put on the red bandanna. He would open his eyes occasionally, if he was bored or if he was brave enough. The bandanna had no purpose anymore, but he still liked to wear the gift from Phil, so he kept it.

His alarm to wake up for school suddenly buzzed loudly around the house. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.

He fumbled for the button before he woke anyone, but he wasn't quick enough.

"Tommy I swear to God if I have to turn that thing off myself I'm going to chop off an arm." Techno's threat rang through Tommy's room.

He finally found the off switch and flicked it, relieved when the Mexican "rap" turned off. It shouldn't even get that much credit. It was a guy speaking Spanish along with some music. God, what do people call music these days?

Tommy got ready for school. Showering, changing into the clothes Phil picked out for him, brushing his teeth, all that shit.

"You ready for school?"" Wilbur asked.

"Thrilled." Techno replied.

"I was talking to Tommy."

"So? It's polite for someone to answer a question." Techno commented.

"Not when the question isn't directed at you."

"You think I care."

"Anyways, Tommy, are you ready to go?" Wilbur sighed.

"Yup, but I think school started when you were arguing." Tommy responded casually.

"Haha, funny joke." Wilbur deadpanned.

"I'm serious, check the time." Tommy has learned to tell time from a very efficient way of learning: bugging Techno and asking him what time it was every hour.

"Yup, I think school started while you two were fighting." I responded.

"Haha, funny joke." Wilbur deadpanned.

"I'm serious, check the time." Tommy had learned to recognize what time it was. It was an efficient way to tell time, continuously asking Techno what time it was.

Wilbur quickly left the room, running back yelling "God!" While Tommy chuckled. "We're going to be late!"

"Let's go." Techno responded. "Being late doesn't give me a good first impression."

With that we left, Techno carrying Tommy against his own will.

It wasn't too long of a walk, considering how far they lived in the forest. The school was at the border of the trees and the plains. "You can put me down now." Tommy said, annoyed.

"Not so fast. One of us has to be chaperoning you at all times, Toms." Wilbur snickered.

"Then I choose Techno."

"What?! Techno over me?" Wilbur asked, outraged.

"Yup-" The school bell interrupted Tommy. "God, I thought I'd at least miss a minute of school." Tommy groaned.

"Let's get going." Techno interrupted. "You need to hurry unless you want to be trampled by all the tall guys."

“Excuse me, that's only going to be a problem for small people, like you." Tommy teased.

"Well I have more muscle than you ever will." Techno retorted.

"Why yo-"

"Okay, let's just go inside." Wilbur cut in.

"Techno started it." Tommy grumbled under his breath.

"And I finished it." Wilbur responded.

They walked inside, Techno briefly telling a person in the office why he won't be attending his own classes.

"Alright, let's get to your classes." Techno sighed.

"Fine by me." Tommy commented.

They waved Wilbur off and walked to Tommy's first class.

"So I'll just. . ." The teacher trailed off, noticing Tommy and Techno standing in the corner of the room. "Oh, hi! Your seat will be over there." Tommy gave the teacher a look, but Techno pulled Tommy to his chair.

Tommy heard voices murmuring about his mask, ignoring them all.

"As I was saying, my name is Mr. Sam. Sam isn't my last name, but it's definitely easier to pronounce. I'll start with a story about myself. Someone told me the best way to make school fun is to share stories, so that's why I'm doing that. Teaching wasn't my first choice for a job, it was a police officer. I did get the job, and am working part-time. . ."

By the time school was out, Tommy wanted to go back to it, Sam was his favorite, and most entertaining teacher. Techno led Tommy to where they were supposed to meet Wil, but someone called out Tommy's name.

"Tommy, right?" Tommy turned his head to acknowledge them. Their voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint where he'd heard them.

"Yeah." Tommy mumbled.

"I'm Tubbo, I thought we could be friends or something. I'm new here and I only have one other friend here, so I was hoping. . ." Tubbo trailed off.

"Sure." Tommy responded.

"Yes! So, do you want to hang out today? At my house, it's not too far from here."

Tommy stared in the direction he thought Techno would be. "I don't care, just be home before dark."

"Haha, very funny." Tommy deadpanned.

"I'll tell you when it starts to get dark." Tubbo offered.

"Sure."

"Also, is it okay if my other friend comes over too?" He asked.

"I don't care."

"Okay, he'll be there a little later, he has to make sure with his brother or something."

"Okay. Bye Techno." Tommy waved goodbye.

"See ya."

Techno's footsteps were growing distant, then followed by Tubbo. "Do you need me to help guide you?"

"It's a plain field, I'll be fine. And I'm not crippled or anything, I just have a mask on." Tommy retorted.

"About that, why do you have the mask?" Tubbo wondered.

"Optophobia."

"I don't even know how to pronounce that." Tubbo sighed.

"I like your type of person." Tommy chuckled.

"I should hope so, I am your friend." Tubbo responded.

Tommy just chuckled again.

"My dad doesn't know you're coming." There was something close to nervousness in his tone.

"I can go home if you want." Tommy suggested.

"No, it's fine, he won't be home until later."

"Are you scared of him?" Tommy questioned.

"I- uhm-" Tubbo sighed. ". . . yeah, but he says fear will get me killed."

"Well he's right, but it's only if you act on fear." He corrected. Uncle Phil always warned him before he let Tommy out of the house to control his fear, he always said it would get him killed, but only when he acted on it.

"You're a smart man." Tubbo chuckled nervously.

Tommy nodded. Talking to people fueled him, but talking to Phil, Techno, and Wilbur was always boring. They'd always talk about things that weren't interesting.

"What's your family like?" Tubbo suddenly asked.

Tommy had to think for a moment before responding. "Wilbur's always playing his guitar. Always saying how he'll 'make a nation worthwhile'. Techno, the one who was going to walk me home, is always in books, but if you get in a fight with him, it's a certain loss for you. He's against the government and likes working alone, Phil being the only exception. Phil's the 'man of the house'. He's kind enough to let me stay with him, but if you harm someone staying in his house, you'll certainly pay for it." Tommy tried to sum it up.

"So Phil's your dad?" Tubbo asked.

"Uhm. . . Not exactly. Phil's my Uncle, but he's been my substitute dad for like. . . 12 years now." He responded nervously.

"Oh! I get it, my other friend's adopted too." Tubbo said.

"Pretty much, what about you?"

". . . Well it's only me and my father, and he's out most of the time, so I just invite friends over to block out how lonely I am. . . sorry." He laughed, Tommy deciding to laugh with him. "That really brought the mood down."

Tommy started to wheeze.

"Are you alright?" Tubbo asked, concern drowning his words, it only made Tommy wheeze harder.

"Should I call an ambulance or something?"

"No it's-" He took a deep breath. "It's fine." His wheezing started to pick up.

"Are you sure, big man?"

Tommy nodded, trying to calm down. It only made the noise sound like a dying bird, which made Tubbo laugh.

They kept laughing like that, but Tubbo forgot to remind Tommy of a root that was poking itself from the ground and he tripped.

"Damn" Tommy sighed as he tumbled to the ground. He heard birds squawking, the slur could have been heard over a mile away.

A couple seconds later they heard someone yell and angry "Language!"

He burst out laughing again. "Are we ever going to make it to my house?" Tubbo asked.

Once Tommy's laughter died down he asked, "How far is your house from here?"

"Not too far, but at this rate we'll be there in a day or two."

"Then stop making me laugh!"

"But that's just my thing."

They decided to walk in silence, Tommy occasionally yelling slurs as loud as he could to see if the other would answer with "language". He always would, which made both Tubbo and Tommy laugh.

Chapter Text

Tubbo's house reeked of alcohol and cigars. "Don't mind the smell, my father likes to drink whenever he can." Tubbo apologized, Tommy nodding.

When they entered, the smell increased in strength, and there was a whiff of some mold scattered around the house. Tommy scrunched up his nose and nearly gagged.

"Sorry." Tubbo said.

"So, when's your other friend coming over?" Tommy asked.

"Probably in a minute or two. I don't really think this is the best place for us to hang out though, there's nearly something for you to trip over every step you make. It might be best if we hung out outside."

"That might be good." Tommy agreed. Tubbo walked him outside then started talking.

"My friend's name's Ranboo. And he's kinda weird for a human, but he's a good friend." Tubbo said.

They talked for a minute or two when Tommy heard some rustling in the bushes and a scent he'd never smelt before. He stood up and stared in the direction of the scent.

"That must be him." Tubbo said. "Ranboo!"

Tommy flinched at the volume of Tubbo's tone, but he must not have noticed.

"Who's this?" The man in the bushes asked cautiously. His voice was deep and monotone, and there was a small screech after the words. It was somewhat cute, like a cat's, but it also sounded distorted.

"Oh right! Ranboo, this is Tommy, Tommy, Ranboo."

"Hi." Tommy greeted.

"Oh, hi!" He stepped forward, and paused. Then asked. "What's with the mask?"

". . . It's because I have Optophobia, a fear of opening my eyes."

"So that's what it means!" Tubbo jumped.

"This mask helps with the fear."

"Why are you scared of opening your eyes?" Tubbo asked.

Tommy opened his mouth, paused, and started to shuffle nervously.

"You don't have to say." Ranboo jumped in.

Tommy's breathing sped up.

As time passed, Tommy learned not to bring up his parents' corpses into his mind, as well as Phil, Techno, and Wil. But sometimes, the images came to mind, and he'd have a panic attack. It would always happen when that question was asked. Why are you scared of opening your eyes?

First it was his Dad, then his Mom, both in the positions he'd found them in when he was five. Then Phil, the white bubbles, then the bloody wings falling. Techno was next, his head being snapped, the sickening crunch of bones shattering. Wilbur was last, blue blood covering his sweater and his mouth.

Tommy didn't know when it happened, but he was on the ground in the fetal position crying. He could feel Tubbo's hand on his shoulder.

"Tommy?" Tubbo asked, but Tommy didn't acknowledge the words.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Tommy, it's going to be fine." Tubbo's voice rang through Tommy's head, then he remembered where he heard the voice, in one of the dreams he'd had. He heard Tubbo say, "It's fine, all good things must come to an end."

"But what am I without you?" Tommy asked.

"Yourself." Then Tubbo would walk to the man in a mask, awaiting his doom.

"Ranboo, go get help." Tubbo ordered.

"No. . ."Tommy tried to calm down. "It's fine. . ."

"No you're not." Ranboo objected.

"This has happened before, I just wait it out. . ."

"Tommy, you're having a panic attack, waiting this out is not good for your mental health." Tubbo explained.

"But look. . . It's almost passed. . ." Tommy stopped crying, and sat up to prove his point.

Immediately Tubbo fell onto his knees and hugged Tommy. He didn't know why, but it helped a lot.

Something furry flapped at Tommy's face, he grabbed it and heard a yelp come from Tubbo. Tommy let go, savoring the touch of the fluffy object. "What was that?"

A small squeak came from Ranboo as he asked. "You haven't told him?"

"I was afraid," Tubbo responded.

"Tell me what?" Tommy wondered, curious.

. . .

"If you won't tell him I will." Ranboo offered.

"I'd like that."

"That was Tubbo's ear, he's a goat hybrid." Ranboo explained nervously.

Tommy stared blankly. That was what they were afraid of? Tommy not being okay with hybrids?

"That's fine, my dad's an avian, and my cousin is a boar hybrid." Tommy heard a sigh come from Tubbo.

Tubbo then came back and hugged Tommy, pulling Ranboo in.

They stayed like that for a good minute, but a bird had to ruin the fun and give a big poop on Tommy's head.

Tommy sprung up, both Tubbo and Ranboo yelping. "I'm gonna kill that bird." Tommy muttered.

"Isn't your Uncle going to be offended if you kill one of his companions?" Tubbo asked.

"He'll understand when he finds out how much pain and suffering they caused me." Tommy grumbled, Ranboo wheezing.

"God, now that I hear wheezing from someone else, it sounds so much more like dying." Tommy laughed.

"I know right?" Tubbo agreed, which only made Ranboo wheeze harder.

"Stop. . . Stop making me laugh. . . Please!" Ranboo pleaded.

"You know, my family would do this to me all the time. . . Now I know why."

". . . Okay- Ranboo- please, I'm kinda getting worried. Can you breathe?" Tubbo asked once Ranboo wouldn't stop. He tried, it was obvious with him making those strained pauses and gasps.

"You okay, Ranboo?" Tommy questioned.

"Y-yeah. . ."Ranboo finally managed to stop.

"Shit! I forgot what time it was!" Tubbo yelled.

"Is it getting dark?" Tommy asked.

"You could say that. Mobs are already spawning." Tubbo replied, anxious. "You may have to stay here for the night."

"But Phil'll get worried."

"If you're fine with walking home with mobs chasing you, you can leave, but I would have you stay even if you could see."

Tommy sighed.

"It'll be a party, you, me, and Ranboo, all together."

"Fine." Tommy decided.

They got their beds ready and slept.

Chapter Text

Tommy was the first to wake, the memories of the previous day were still coming back. He rolled to the side, trying to get back to sleep, but glowing lights kept him from his satisfaction. He squinted in the dark, trying to see what was keeping him up.

He instantly knew it was from the End. Purple glowing lights elapsed around the Enderman. Horns were gracefully twisted around his head. He had burn scars in the shape of tears running down his cheeks. Half of his face looked as if it was painted black. (I kinda wanna do some fanart rn o-o)

Then it’s neck began to draw blood and slowly, it was beginning to detach. Tommy felt pity for the Enderman, he would probably be executed.

He rolled to the other side to be met with another body, this one had fluffed up fur around his neck, legs, and goat-like ears. Then an explosion would be sounded in Tommy’s head and 3rd degree burns would form on his cheek and lower body. In a war? Firework? Was it accidental?

He thought about why an Enderman and Goat Beastman were in his bed until the memories from the previous day came to mind. He sighed, knowing what would come to him when Phil saw him next. He got out of bed, briefly washing his face and getting his shoes on. He walked outside, happy to get some fresh air. He stared at the forest, the light streaming through the leaves as the sun grew. He listened to the chirping of young birds, and the rustling of leaves until he saw the Enderman walk out of the house. He took out his bandanna and wrapped it around his eyes as the other came to him.

They sat in silence until Tubbo ran out yelling, "Why didn't anyone wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful.” Ranboo responded simply.

Tubbo playfully growled. “Let’s go.”

“Do you really want to go to school?” Tommy asked.

“I want to get into college.” Tubbo said.

“Did you know our grades count for something?.” Ranboo questioned.

“Fine.” Tommy complied.

They left to go to school. Ranboo kept track of when there were tree’s Tommy needed to be careful of. 

When they arrived, frantic footsteps came running towards them, a body slammed  into Tommy, knocking him to the ground. “Where have you been?” WIlbur demanded.

“Someone forgot to tell me when it got dark.” Tommy gave a sharp glare at where he thought Tubbo was. Tommy knew he’d be given talks every day until he died, so he planned to make Tubbo suffer just as much.

Tubbo gasped. “I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“I can vouch for Tommy.” Ranboo jumped in.

“What- Ranboo- How could y-” The final bell interrupted Tubbo. 

“I can’t be late again, two days tardy and the year’s only begun.” Ranboo dreaded.

“Stop that blabbering and get to class.” Techno said. Tommy nearly jumped, he hadn’t noticed Techno standing behind him.

Tommy grumbled but went to class with Ranboo and Tubbo.

They didn’t learn much, mostly from Tommy whispering the whole lesson.

-

This happened for over a year, Ranboo became Tommy’s “Official eyes” but occasionally they would forget the time and Tommy would have to sleep over, which Wilbur would hate, he needed his “Tommy Time” every hour.

-

The fun stopped when the question was asked, would you be willing to keep your mask off for a day?

One day.

Tommy wasn’t committed to it, but it came sooner or later.

-

“Why do you have that mask on all the time? Are your eyes ugly?” 

“I bet he can’t see even with the mask off.”

“Maybe we should check?”

“...”

“That sounds like a yes.”

Before Tommy could react, the bandanna he loved was ripped from his head. The light blinded him for several minutes, during that time he got comments like:

“Woah. . . his eyes are ugly!” 

“Why’s his face like that?”

“Ur mom”

“What the hell?”

“Ur mom”

“What’s going on?” Mr. Sam barged in, squeezing through the building crowd around. 

He was the first Tommy saw. Red vines encircled him, turning his green tinted skin to a deep red. Vines sprouted from his concerned face. Slowly, vines wrapped around his neck. . . then a sudden crack was ringing through Tommy’s head. Then his features turned to normal.

“Tommy?” Mr. Sam asked, kneeling down with Tommy, who during the vision had dropped to the floor and tears were fresh on his skin. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t respond, didn’t trust his voice not to crack. Over the span of these few months, Tommy grew to love Sam (IN A PLATONIC WAY) , he was few who would talk to Tommy. What would happen?

He looked around, finding several of the vines from Sam spread across the field. The blood red peeking from the sage grass. So his death would be soon. Tommy should prepare for his death.

“What happened Tommy?” It wasn’t a question.

“Where’s my mask?” Tommy asked, eyes glazed and set at the floor.

“Who took his mask.” Sam took off his tie and wrapped it around Tommy’s eyes. He heard the grass rustle as Sam stood. “ Who took his mask. ” His tone scared Tommy. 

Someone was pushing through the crowd. “Tommy?” Wilbur.

He heard Wilbur breaking into the circle that was forming. “Oh my God.” Wilbur’s arms wrapped around Tommy, almost mimicking his dad’s wings. “Techno, go find his mask.” Wil said as Techno managed to squeeze through the mob. He left without a word.

-

“Does anyone know where my bandanna is?” Tommy’s calls rung through the house.

“No, we’ll be on watch, mate.” Phil said.

A minute passed.

Two.

Five.

“Hello?” 

No answer.

“Wil?”

No answer.

“Techie?”

. . .

“Phil?”

He was alone, left with only his thoughts.

Like last time.

“You could’ve saved us.” His dad’s voice echoed.

“Why did you leave?”

Tommy let a tear slip down his cheek.

Soon that tear became sobs, he wanted it to stop, but he couldn’t.

“Tommy?” Wilbur was in his room.

He tried to stop crying.

“You okay? Little man?”

He hiccuped. 

Wil hugged him.

Tommy’s muscles relaxed. 

They stayed there for a while. 

“Did you see anyone die?” 

“No.”

“Thoughts?”

“Mhm.” 

“I’ll stay with you, make sure you’re never alone with your thoughts.”

“Really?”

“And that you’ll never see another person again. . . dead, I mean.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Little man.”

-

“What happened?” Wilbur asked Sam. 

“I’m trying to figure that ou-”

“We were teasing him. . . then Dream pulled his mask off. I don’t know where he went.”

Just as she was finished with her sentence, Techno barged through the group, dragging someone with him.

“Found him with Tommy’s mask, he tried to run from the scene.” Techno grunted as he shoved the man to the ground. 

“I’ll bring him to the principal's office, you two take care of Tommy.” Then Sam said louder, “If anyone tries to do this again they’ll have a private chat with me.” 

Tommy quickly slipped off his tie and held it up to where he thought Sam was.

“Thank you, and sorry things were this way.” Sam pulled the man back to his feet and towards the school.

“Let’s go home.” Techno suggested.

“That’s a good idea.” Tommy agreed.

-

Once they got home, Techno went to his room while Tommy and Wilbur went to Tommy’s. Tommy flopped on his bed while Wil said he’d be back in a minute. Tommy knew what he was getting. Wilbur always knew how to cheer him up.

Why’d I have to make a scene?

Techno said Dream was a friend, what was that all about?

Where’s Tubbo and Ranboo?

When does Sam die?

Soon?

“I’m baackk.” Wilbur said as he dropped onto Tommy’s bed next to him. 

A soft tune was strummed and Tommy leaned into Wilbur as he started to hum.

Music would always make Tommy feel better. Wilbur knew that. He knew his favorite song.

“JUMP IN THE CADILLAC-”-

“NO NO NO NO.” Tommy screamed. “Why?? I was almost asleep.”

“Because I’m such a good person.” Wil mused.

“Shut up.”

Chapter Text

“Are you okay? We heard what happened.” Ranboo questioned.

“I just saw my teacher die.” Tommy muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Do you want to do something?” Tubbo asked.

“I’m good, just haven’t seen in a while. . .” Haven’t seen a good person die in a while.

“Uhm, then we’ll just leave. We’re here if you ever need us.” Tubbo said as they left his room.

*Tubbo’s POV*

“Phil, why does Tommy have Optophobia? We tried to ask him, but he just had a panic attack.”

Phil sighed. “Tommy isn’t really open about it, but what I know is: Tommy saw his parents die when he was four and he doesn’t want to see any more blood for a lifetime. He’s more open to Wilbur about it so you can confront him about that. I think he’s at the lake with Sally.”

Tubbo stayed silent while Ranboo thanked Phil. “Guess that’s it.”

“No. Tommy cried when he saw Mr. Sam. There’s got to be a reason. Let’s ask Wilbur.”

“We’re just poking a stick at the snake, we should just respect Tommy’s decisions and help him.” Ranboo argued. “And, the lake is a long way from here. Besides, if Phil knows all Wil does then we’d just be wasting our time-”

“But, if Wil knows something else, we’d understand Tommy’s situation more.” Tubbo stared at Ranboo with his puppy eyes. “Pwease?”

“. . . Stop using that face on me.”

Tubbo stared. “What face?”

“Stop. You know what face.”

Tubbo stared.

. . .

“. . . fine.”

“Alright. Lez go.” Tubbo said happily, leaving the house with Ranboo close behind him.

It took them a hot minute to see the lake but then they saw Wil and rushed over.

“. . . Has Fundy been good? Learning a lot?-” Wil noticed them and waved. “Oh hey Tubbo, Ranboo. This is Sally.”

The mermaid waved at them.

“Sally, Ranboo and Tubbo. What’s up?”

“We want to ask some things about Tommy.” Tubbo said.

Wil’s smiling face turned so quickly to serious, then turned to Sally. “One moment,”

She just nodded at him and dove into the water.

“No.”

“What?”

“No, Tommy never gave me permission to talk about it.” 

“Then can’t you just get his permission then? Quickly, preferably.” Tubbo asked.

“Maybe another time, if Tommy says.” Wil concluded.

They walked back into the forest.

“. . . WE WALKED ALL THE WAY HERE FOR NOTHING.” Ranboo yelled.

“There was the possibility.” Tubbo argued.

“MY LEGS HURT.”

“And now we know Tommy is hiding something.”

“. . . my legs still hurt.” Ranboo pouted.

“Let’s go.” Tubbo started the long trek back home.

Ranboo distantly heard a child scream, then laugh, then scream again. Children.

-

They decided to go back to Tubbo’s but found two people there already, Tommy, and his chaperone, Techno.

After a while of Tommy’s sleepovers, Phil said they had to have either Techno or Wil be with Tommy when they went to Tubbo’s.

“Uhmm. . . what’re you doing here?” Tubbo asked.

“You want answers, I can give them, here we are.” Tommy answered sagely.

“Oh right! That. We were guessing it was something a little more than what people said.” Ranboo responded.

Tommy took off his mask. “I see corpses.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I see how people die when I look them in the eye.” He said, staring at them with deadly eyes.

Chapter Text

The rest of their evening had an awkward vibe about it. Tommy would’ve much rather preferred Wilbur than Techno, since he already knew. Techno instead, just stared at him, shocked (Tommy preferred the emotionless Techno, when he’d never show a sliver of feeling). Tubbo stared at the ground mindlessly as Ranboo tried talking to him.

-

After that, Tommy decided to open up about his curse, but most people thought he was crazy.

Tommy wore his mask less around the house, growing used to the deceased faces around him. (His curse was to see how people died when he looked them in the eye, then he’d see their normal appearances, but he’d never known that since he’d always look away before the death vision was done.)

His depression was still a thing, but he’d fake happiness around others hahaa.