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Everyone in the Lan family was known for their bedtimes. Going to bed after the evening bell, getting up before dawn. Therefore, it was strange to hear Liebing before midnight.
Melancholy sounds were carried by the wind between the bamboos, which clattered quietly, hitting each other around the hanshi. Nature seemed not to want to disturb the man in white robes who sat outside the entrance to the hanshi and played.
He was playing a tune straight from his heart, translating his own emotions into more notes. He didn't need to use spiritual energy to make everything around him seem to hold their breath so as not to disturb him.
Enough time had passed since the events at Guanyin Temple that he could be said to have recovered. However, no one was aware of the fear that lived and grew in Sect Leader Lan's heart.
That night was one of many when he was unable to sleep, fearing that everything he ultimately had was just a dream. He'd had nightmares from which he'd woken up terrified that it still wasn't a dream. It was simply too good.
Jiang Cheng was sleeping in the hanshi, or at least Lan Xichen hoped so. But he was afraid to check if it was true, afraid that he would find his bed empty, like the closed door of his mother's house many years ago.
Everyone who was important to him, who was truly close to him, had left him in one way or another. In this respect, they had much in common with Jiang Wanyin. Perhaps this sense of togetherness gave rise to a feeling?
No, this feeling had been germinating in him since the days when Sect Leader Jiang had taken lessons from his uncle. It was more than certain, though he had almost lost any chance when he too naively proposed becoming sworn brothers to friends.
One false note crept into the melody full of sadness, betraying the emotions gripping the man. He feared that Jiang Cheng had been loaned to him for a time, until he came to full peace of mind, until he fully came to terms with his past.
He was afraid that one day he would open his eyes and the man would be gone. Because of this, he was afraid to fall asleep. For him, the man was the only person with whom he wanted to grow old, with whom he wanted to take the next steps towards their last days together.
However, he could not persuade himself to propose a suitable step. He did not believe that after everything that had happened, Jiang Wanyin would be able to fully forgive him for that childish belief in the good in every human being that had led to the tragedy.
Because of this, he felt as if he were falling into darkness, being seized anew by the numbness when all he wanted to do was lock himself in hanshi and declare his own seclusion. And yet he still persisted attached to the one person who had not changed his behaviour towards him.
He twitched when he felt someone impose a blanket over his shoulders. In a moment, silence filled the area, broken only by the hollow sound of bamboos bumping against each other. Grey eyes stared at him with a shade of amusement.
Jiang Cheng woke up as soon as Lan Huan slipped out of bed. He knew that the man had been having trouble sleeping for a long time, but he didn't know the reasons for it. That night, hearing the sounds of Liebing, he decided to speak to him.
"Are you sure you are not breaking your own rules, Lan Huan?"
"Not to disturb the quiet of the night? I hadn't thought of that, sorry..."
"Are you going to take everything deadly seriously now for a change?"
Jiang Cheng snorted under his breath as he sat down next to the man.
His loose hair waved slightly here near his face, revealing which strands had been braided earlier. It gave his face a gentleness that not everyone had the opportunity to see, let alone experience.
Lan Xichen stared at him with a mixture of feelings - from nostalgia for the days when everything was easier, when they swam on the lake in Cayin Town, to the tenderness and love he had for the man.
Jiang Cheng remained silent, giving the man the time he clearly needed to talk. He rested his hands behind his back, tilting his head back a bit, closing his eyes.
"Half the time I'm lost, afraid that you're just borrowed."
Lan Huan's voice broke the silence. It was full of the pain he used to hide until now, which he didn't share with anyone.
Jiang Cheng snorted under his breath, clenching his teeth tightly to avoid saying something that would spoil everything they had. He understood where this fear came from, but he didn't know how he could guarantee that nothing would change.
Only a fool would make such promises. Nevertheless, he turned to face the man, smiling at the corner of his mouth, but before he could say anything, Lan Xichen spoke again.
"Do you forgive me?"
The younger man had to focus for a moment to understand what the question was about. He raised a hand to his eyes, squeezing them a moment, then shook his head as he stood up to disappear inside the hanshi.
Lan Xichen stared at the open door for a moment, unable to draw breath. He knew that everything seemed too good, that it would disappear as soon as he tried to grasp this happiness in his hands.
Trembling, he tried to rise when Jiang Cheng came back to him, raising his eyebrow slightly as if to ask where the man wanted to go. He was holding something in his hand, but Zewu-Jun paid no attention to it.
He couldn't focus on anything, feeling the panic rising in his heart. He felt like retracting his words while asking the man not to go anywhere, so he became motionless when Jiang Cheng moved closer to him.
"Lan Huan, are you with me?"
The man blinked, staring into gray irises in which a beckoning flash appeared. He only managed to nod, not trusting his own voice as to whether it would falter as he spoke.
The younger man smiled warmly. He reached for the other man's hand, turning it with the inside up, on which he placed the object he had brought with him a moment ago.
Lan Xichen looked down and, noticing Yunmeng Jiang's bell, held his breath. His heart, which had almost stopped with fear a moment ago, sped up rapidly.
"You're the one I wanted, want now, want when I am old"
Said Jiang Cheng in a confident voice, who had planned to declare himself in a completely different way. However, he saw no other way of assuring his own feelings.
He saw the other man's dark gaze take on a new glow, and his cheeks cover with a slight blush.
"I'm not borrowed. You can take my soul."
Added Jiang Cheng before he was kissed.
Liebing enriched more than one more night with his sounds, but never again were they so filled with sadness and melancholy.