Chapter Text
the day dawned like any other autumn day, cold and cloudy. Geralt woke up with the sun trying, and failing miserably, to get out of his makeshift bed without waking the other man who drooled in a comfortable dream.
"good morning love" the white haired one purred, his partner still a little dizzy and lazy.
"Mmmmh let me sleep more you big barbarian I need my beauty sleep" Complained rolling to the other side and ignoring the blessed view of the bare and scarred chest.
"If you won't wake up then I'll have to carry out our plan by myself" Says going to get ready with a shit-eating smile on his face, knowing he had won that fight when he heard the sound of the covers being thrown aside and a bard grumbles and start getting ready.
After a quick breakfast, with their backpacks packed and Roach well rested, they put the plan in order one last time.
"Okay, so let's do it like this: I'm going west, towards Oxenfurt, and then straight to Kaer Morhen. You go to the opposite side, going around the town you heard a rumor of a Angry Witcher then follows the path to Kaer Morhen. That way we cover a lot of ground and the first one who meets Lambert/Valdo takes it with him. It's perfect and in the end we find it in the castle!"
Geralt nods, smiling kindly
"hmm, you will take this letter, from her to Vesemir if you arrive before me, that will give you guaranteed entry and also allows Valdo Marx to enter if Lambert wants to continue in his disguise." Deliver a letter written with the strong and direct handwriting characteristic of the witcher.
"Aw darling, no need!” Jaskier stands on tiptoe placing a brief kiss on the tip of Geralt's nose, making him simmer with embarrassment, butterflies dancing in his belly.
"You should take Roach too, I won't be with you when you go up the road to Kaer Morhen and even in autumn it is still very dangerous. Roach knows the safest way."
Even trying to deny Jaskier knew this was a fight he would lose, Geralt managed to be very protective and paranoid when it came to the bard, so in the end he found himself sitting in Roach's saddle, riding away after a tight hug, with the promise of meeting in a few days.
The Jaskier's journey was surprisingly quick, arriving in Oxenfurt in just two days. Eager to spend a night in a bed and not on the floor he practically ran to the nearest tavern (after leaving Roach but competent hands of a good stableman, of course)
He basically broke down the door to the inn, drawing the attention of the few drunks still inside. He ran towards the innkeeper asking for a large glass of cheap drink.
After taking a seat at a table in the far corner and taking a big gulp of the bitter drink, soothing his aching body, he finally took a look around, his attention drawn to Someone in particular.
Off to the side, sitting on the steps of the stairs that led to the bedrooms on the second floor, was a drunken figure half asleep. With flashy clothes and a ridiculous hat with a big feather that swayed along with his breath.
Jaskier would know that arrogant face even in hell. It was Valdo Marx, exactly who he wanted.
He rose slowly, moving closer like a snake approaches its next meal. His waist swayed from side to side in a sassy walk. An evil smile spreads across his face. Beer head still in hand, half full, he approaches until he stops in front of the sleeping man.
You should already know where this is going.
Beer spills out, falling in a waterfall on top of the colorful hat and spilling all over the other man's clothes and skin. Valdo wakes up in a jump, opening his mouth to breathe in panic due to the cold liquid on his skin, but that only served to make him sip some of the beer and choke on a pathetically funny scene.
Jaskier bends over laughing.
Before any two bards can say anything the innkeeper gives them a dirty look, nodding his head that clearly says "Get out of this establishment before I force you out of here". Not wanting to get into a fight, the two quickly run out the door.
Once outside Valdo turns to the other, Jaskier could have sworn he saw flames burning in his eyes.
"To what do I owe the displeasure of meeting the worst bard on the continent? And alone still, did the mutant finally get tired of your presence or did he find a better bitch to pleasure him?"
If this were a few months ago Jaskier would jump the other one tooth and nail to defend his lover, but now, knowing the truth? He just felt sorry. Valdo used to call his partner a mutante, a monster, an assassin even, and now knowing that Valdo is actually a witcher on hearing this he knew they weren't insults to Geralt, they were insults to himself.
Jaskier let out a sad sigh. He would have to deal with Lambert's self-deprecating jokes another time, at the moment he needs to think of a way to explain that he already knows the truth.
"Lambert, i know" he tried, thinking maybe a more direct way would work. When all Valdo did was look at him with a confused look he knew it hadn't worked.
"Valdo" maybe with the other name would work. "I know the truth about you, it's no use hiding anymore."
"I'm not mad!” He adds quickly, not wanting to let any misunderstandings happen.
Valdo was a little groggy because of the nap he had woken up, combine that with the sticky beer that dripped on his clothes and the headache that was starting to show up and you'll have someone who doesn't understand anything that's going on. When Jaskier, his musical enemy, said he knew the truth, Valdo's blood ran cold. He knows? He knows that half of his repertoire is actually cheap copies of his songs? Oh fuck he is SO screwed! If Jaskier tell anyone of the Oxenfurt academy Valdo's carrier would be done! Oh fuck oh no oh fuck oh no oh fuc-
"it's okay Valdo, I won't tell anyone!" Jaskier soothed, seeing the other's despair. Marx breathed a long sigh of relief, thanking all the gods.
"what are you going to do with this information?" he asks nervously.
"Well, Geralt and I have some plans, but for that we need you to go with us to Kaer Morhen. I know I KNOW it's very early and you usually only go there in winter BUT this is an emergency!"
Valdo stares at you in confusion, Kaer Morhen? The witchers' house? Why the hell would Jaskier want to take him there? Unless...Unless he's so angry that his scary Witcher boyfriend with two even scarier swords was planning his end.
Oh Melitele why are the beauty ones the ones who suffers the most?
Either way, if Valdo wants to survive he's going to need to be on Jaskier's good side, and he can start doing that by agreeing to whatever he says.
"Yes, of course Jaskier! Whatever you say!" He nods in panic, his tense shoulders calming a little as he sees the other's satisfied smile, starting to walk towards the stable.
This would be a long journey.