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Part 1 of Empires Chatfic series
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Empires SMP Fanfic Collection
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Published:
2021-09-15
Updated:
2022-01-13
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21/?
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Maybe the Real Empires Was the Friends We Made Along the Way

Summary:

Pixlriffs created the chat “D&D group 3”

Smajor1995: what up sluts!

Pixlriffs: Peace was fun while it lasted

This is just the obligatory high school au and chatfic, don't worry about it.
Denial is a river and Scott is drowning in it
There’s no angst here, the author lied

Notes:

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter Text

(Wednesday 6:00 PM)

Pixlriffs created the chat “D&D group 3”

Pixlriffs has added fWhip, GeminiTay, MythicalSausage, Smajor1995, PearlescentMoon, SolidarityGaming, KatherineEliz, SmallishBeans and LDShadowlady 

 

Pixlriffs: 

Hello everyone thank you for signing up for the D&D club. Due to you signing up alone, I have decided to group you all together into one campaign. I know ten people is a lot but I don’t expect everyone to be present during all meetings and Zloy said I couldn’t DM this many people and I have to prove him wrong

Pixlriffs: 

Anyway it’s nice to meet you all and I hope we get along.

 

KatherineEliz: 

Im so excited :D

 

PearlescentMoon: 

hello everyone

 

LDShadowlady: 

its great to be here

 

SolidarityGaming: 

Lizzi i didnt know u sined up for this club

 

LDShadowlady: 

joel convinced me it would fun

 

SmallishBeans: 

Jimmy! 

 

SolidarityGaming: 

Joel!

 

SmallishBeans: 

Jimmy!!! 

 

SolidarityGaming: 

joel!!!!

 

fWhip: 

fWhip!

 

Smajor1995: 

what up sluts!

Smajor1995 has changed their name to Scott Elf King of Rivendell

 

SolidarityGaming: 

Scot!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell: 

eww jimmy

Scott Elf King of Rivendell has changed SolidarityGaming’s name to Mer-idiot

 

Mer-idiot: 

:(

 

MythicalSausage: 

Pixlriffs… my old enemy

MythicalSausage: 

I still havent forgiven you

 

GeminiTay: 

Sausage what did Pixl do?

 

MythicalSausage: 

We have deep seated rivalry that goes back ages

 

Pixlriffs: 

We were in the 3rd grade MythicalSausage

MythicalSausage: 

You and Zloy stole my beyblade! 

 

fWhip: 

that is pretty unforgivable. I completely understand

 

PearlescentMoon:

Pix how could you!

 

Pixlriffs: 

Peace was fun while it lasted

Pixlriffs:

Anyway first introduce your characters and whether or not you can attend the meeting on Saturday for example

Pixlriffs:

I am Pixlriffs, a human cleric and I can make it to the meeting.

 

PearlescentMoon:

Im Pearl a half-elf druid and I can make it to the meeting

 

GeminiTay:

Im Gem, my character is a Satyr Wizard and I can make it to the meeting

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Scott elf sorcerer, and yes i can make it 

 

katherineeliz:

I’m a fairy paladin and I can make it 

 

fWhip:

Tiefling Artificer and I’ll see you there

 

MythicalSausage:

Human rogue and you’ll see me there

 

LDshadowlady:

Lizzie Triton Fighter and I can make it

 

Smallishbeans:

Joel War-forged barbarian and I can make it

 

Mer-idiot:

Jimmy water genasi bard wait this satrday?

 

Pixlriffs: 

Yes Jimmy.

 

Mer-idiot:

Oh i have a swm meet that day

 

KatherineEliz:

Oh no D:

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

of course jimmy is the only one who can’t make it

 

Mer-idiot:

What is that suposed to meen

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

nothing :/ 

 

Pixlriffs:

Don’t worry Jimmy, we can come up with a way for you to catch up next time we meet. Stuff like this is the reason I set up the chat after all

 

Mer-idiot:

Thaks Pix! :D

 

Pixlriffs:

See you all Saturday!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

minus jimmy

 

Mer-idiot:

Hey!!

Chapter Text

(Thursday 3:24 PM)

Pixlriffs:

Bad news @everyone. 

 

Pixlriffs:

The student center is being renovated this Saturday and we will not be able to use the club room for the first meeting. So unless someone else can host, we’re going to have to cancel.

 

PearlescentMoon: 

Wait does that mean the other hermits can’t meet at the student center?

 

Pixlriffs:

I think it’s just the club rooms that are being renovated so you and Gem should be able to meet the others

 

KatherineEliz:

The student center isn’t closed, just the club rooms right? We can still have the meeting there

 

GeminiTay:

Bad idea

 

PearlescentMoon:

Cant 

 

Pixlriffs:

Absolutely not

 

KatherineEliz:

:(

 

GeminiTay:

The student center belongs to the hermits after school. There would be so much chaos, we won’t be able to play.

 

MythicalSausage:

we can meet in the woods behind the School

 

LDshadowlady:

We’re not joining your cult, Sausage

 

SmallishBeans:

Yeah you should join mine

 

SmallishBeans sent the file jeremy.jpg

(The picture is of a clay sculpture that Joel made. It’s indescribably beautiful)

 

Mer-idiot:

Im intrested

 

fWhip:

I can’t tell what it is, but I’m in love

 

SmallishBeans:

It’s working :)

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

stop trying to make people join your cult

 

Pixlriffs:

Can we please get back on topic? We need someone to host the meeting. Gem & fWhip?

 

fWhip:

Nope our parents are having friends over that day

 

Pixlriffs:

Katherine?

 

KatherineEliz:

Sorry there’s not enough space

 

Pixlriffs:

Lizzie?

 

LDshadowlady:

Jimmy and I can’t host

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

because your house smells like fish?

 

LDshadowlady:

How dare you!

 

SmallishBeans:

I like fish <3

 

LDshadowlady:

Aww <3

 

LDshadowlady:

But that’s still weird, babe

 

SmallishBeans:

:(

 

KatherineEliz:

Oh what about Scott’s house? His dad is crazy rich. His game room can fit like 40 people.

 

KatherineEliz:

Okay that’s a bit of an exageration but it’s still really big

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

oh yeah i could probably host i would need to set up the game room but that should be fine

 

Mer-idiot:

I wish I coiuld go

 

Pixlriffs:

Great! Just dm us your address. This’ll be great

Chapter Text

(Saturday 12:47 PM)

LDshadowlady has changed their name to Eldritch Girlboss

 

Eldritch Girlboss sent the file urmissingout.png

(The picture is a selfie of Lizzie in front of a table with ten chairs. Nine of them are occupied by people. Many of them are smiling and laughing but Pixl has his head in his hands)

Eldritch Girlboss:

@Mer-idiot Look we just killed someone

 

KatherineEliz has changed their name to Killed a Man Feeling Good

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

(^_^)

 

Mer-idiot:

Oh no 

 

Mer-idiot:

Wait wat is that in th empty char

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Oh you mean this?

Eldritch Girlboss sent the file scottstinyfriend.png

(the picture is of the chair in between Lizzie and Scott. On the chair is a plush bear wearing a Captain America hoodie, it looks like it’s been taken care of. Scott is turned away from the camera talking to Gem)

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

We wanted something to represent you, and Scott had the perfect stuffed animal for it

 

Mer-idiot:

He kept it!

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

You gave him something? o_O

 

Mer-idiot:

Yeah wen we were at summer camp in middle school. I gav him that bear.

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

So that's why it looked familiar

 

Mer-idiot:

I broke my arm and had to go hom eearly. Scott didnt want me to leave so I gave him my my bear so he woldnt cry anymore. 

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

That’s so cute (; _ ;)

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Sorry Jimmy, we’re starting up again ttyl 

 

Mer-idiot:

Good bi!

 

(Saturday 1:00 PM)

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell deleted 10 messages from "D&D Group 3"

Chapter Text

(Saturday 4:54 PM)
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(≖_≖ ) hmmm

Pixlriffs:
Katherine? Something wrong?

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

Pixlriffs:
Okay then....

Pixlriffs:
That was a great session everyone, we made a ton of progress.
Meaning that @Mer-idiot we’re going to have to set up an adventure for you so you can catch up. When are you free after school?

Mer-idiot:
I can do Monday Pixl. Is it gonna be a solo adventre?

Pixlriffs:
Well if anyone else wants to join they can

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(^o^)/I want to join

SmallishBeans:
Count me in

Mer-idiot:
Lizze can u make it?

Eldritch Girlboss:
Sorry Jimmy, there’s girl’s swim practice that day

Mer-idiot:
 Aww :( 

Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy we’re in the same car you can’t use those eyes against me

Eldritch Girlboss:
Fine I can join after but I will be very late

Mer-idiot:
Wooo fish squad!

Pixlriffs:
Anyone else interested?

fWhip:
The robotics club has a meeting that day, I can’t make it

PearlescentMoon:
I got to take care of the ducklings for 4h

GeminiTay:
I have a book club on monday

MythicalSausage:
A new student wants to join the occult club and I have to show them the club space

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scott? 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Not interested

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(=_=)

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
What is that supposed to mean?

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
nothing :/

Pixlriffs: 
Okay so we have a party of four. This should be fun. I’ll see you on Monday!

Chapter Text

(Monday 8:54 AM)

Private message between Jimbro and Broel

 

Jimbro:

Joel I just fond the best thing on te side of the street

 

Broel:
Jimmy if you found another baked potato, please don’t offer it to anyone.

 

Jimbro:

It was a perfecly fine potato

 

Broel:

How many days were you in the hospital again?

 

Jimbro:

THAT WAS A DIFFERENT THING ENRITELY!

 

Broel:

Uh huh

 

Jimbro:

Its not a potato this time


Broel:

Is it a food? I’m kind of hungry I forgot to eat breakfast

 

Jimbro:

You know what you can find out during D8D today

 

Broel:

Jimmy, you have to give me food! I’m your brother in law

 

Jimbro:

Lizzie deer sister you were talking to a cute girl on the way to school and wanted to take her on a date and you want to break up with jeol wow good for you

 

Broel:

:(

 

Jimbro:

Oh sorry joel i din’t mean to send you that 

 

Broel:

I’m sorry okay Can I see the surprise now?

 

Jimbro:

Youll see the surprise later!

 

Broel:

See you dude o7

 

(Monday 12:54 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

Flower Enjoyer:

Hey Scott

 

Theater Nerd:

Yes Katherine?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Something happened

 

Theater Nerd:

Did a butterfly land on you while you were watering the school garden again?

 

Flower Enjoyer: 

No… 

Flower Enjoyer:

There’s this girl

 

Theater Nerd:

A girl? THERE’S A GIRL!

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Not like that!

Flower Enjoyer:

Shes just hanging out near the garden

Flower Enjoyer:

She’s staring a fairy ring

Flower Enjoyer:

She’s got this really cute red beanie with white spots on it

Flower Enjoyer:

She looks like a toadstool

Flower Enjoyer:

It’s really cute

 

Theater Nerd:

She’s really cute?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

dwsvjhozgasghwv

Flower Enjoyer:

NO! (>_<)

Flower Enjoyer:

Well…. 

Flower Enjoyer:

I was talking about her hat!

 

Theater Nerd:

So you wanted to text me about her hat?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

ughh ( ̄ー ̄)

Flower Enjoyer:

Anyway the bell is about to ring

Flower Enjoyer:

We got to get to class

 

Theater Nerd:
See ya!

 

(Monday 3:11 PM)

Private message between Jimbro and Broel

 

Broel:

Dude where are you? You’re already late

 

Jimbro:

Sorry my surpise is taking a little long

 

Broel:

What do you mean?

Broel:

I thought you found it on the street

 

Jimbro:

Different surprise!

Jimbro:

I had to go drive home to pick it up 

 

Broel:

Oh I see your car let me help you out

Chapter Text

(Monday 4:33 PM)

Private message between LizzBeans and NoDirection

 

NoDirection:
Girl! Where are you? 

 

LizzBeans:

Oh sorry Joey. I forgot we made plans.

 

NoDirection:

Lizzie how could you!!!

NoDirection:

Who’s going to eat ice cream and listen to me rant about my ex boyfriend now

 

LizzBeans:

Joeeyy I’m so sorry 

LizzBeans:

Jimmy wanted me to join his first D&D game

LizzBeans:

If you want you can come to the student center and play with us

 

NoDirection:

What’s in it for me?

 

LizzBeans:

You can flirt with npcs and kill them if you fail

 

NoDirection:

Oh I love that! Do I get magic?

 

LizzBeans:

If you want I think there’s like 5 types of magic users. I think 4 of them are already taken

 

NoDirection:

What’s the last one?

 

LizzBeans:

Warlock. It’s basically a deal with the devil kind of thing

 

NoDirection:

I want to be that one! Let me live my little gay witch dreams Lizzie

 

LizzBeans:

Let me talk to Pix first. I’m pretty sure he’d say yes

LizzBeans:

You can start getting to school if you want

 

NoDirection:

Wooo! Witch Time

 

(Monday 4:45 PM)

Pixlriffs has added JOEYGRACEFFA

 

Pixlriffs:

@everyone we now have a new member of the group

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
Good day everyone!

 

JOEYGRACEFFS:

I'm Joey the aarakocra warlock

 

JOEYGRACEFFA sent the file “ havingfunattheclub.png

(the picture is of Joey in the club room with Jimmy wearing an interesting hat. Katherine Joel Lizzie and Pixl can be seen eating cupcakes while Zloy is trying to dm. Like last picture Zloy has his head in his hands)

 

PearlescentMoon:
Zloy! What’s he doing there

 

Pixlriffs:

I roped him into DMing because I wanted to play. He owes me

 

PearlescentMoon:

I'm so sad I'm not there now. I don't get to mess with him

 

fWhip:

You guys have cupcakes!

 

KatherineEliz:

Jimmy brought over a lot! They’re so good

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Speaking of Jimmy. What the heck is that hat

 

SmallishBeans:

That’s not just a hat, It is the Codfather’s crown!

 

GeminiTay:

That’s supposed to be a cod?

 

PearlescentMoon:

What does “Women want me Fish fear me” mean?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen

 

Mer-idiot:

You’re just jelous that i found it and I get to wear it

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I’d rather see you not wear anything at all

 

Mer-idiot:

Shut up!

 

MythicalSausage:

Who cares about that! 

MythicalSausage:

Guys I’m still on campus. The person that I was supposed to show around didn’t make it. 

MythicalSausage:

I want a cupcake!

 

fWhip:

Yeah I want one too! 

 

GeminiTay:

Id love one 

 

PearlescentMoon:

Save one for me too!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

They do look well made. One wouldn’t hurt

 

Mer-idiot:

Made them myself

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Nevermind then

 

Mer-idiot:

So you don’t want one? :(

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I’ll have one

 

Mer-idiot:

:D

Chapter Text

(Tuesday 12:34 PM)

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good sent the file her.png

(the picture is of a girl staring into the distance near the gardens. she's wearing a mushroom styled hat and green overalls)

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Scott, she's back!

 

SmallishBeans:

Oh I know her

SmallishBeans:

She’s in my art class

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Oh no I didn’t mean to send that here

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Please ignore that

 

SmallishBeans:

I don’t think she has any friends right now

SmallishBeans: 

I should invite her to D&D

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

duahevjdis

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Scotttfshsj

 

SmallishBeans:

What’s happening?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Scott just walked up to her

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

NOOOO

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

He just told her “I like your shoelaces”

 

PearlescentMoon:

Scott has a tumblr?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

It’s a secret one

 

Pixlriffs:

Did she say the thing?

 

Mer-idiot:

What is happening? What thing?

 

Pixlriffs:

The response that all tumblr users know

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

She just said “I stole them from the president”

 

PearlescentMoon:

It happened. It actually happened

 

Pixlriffs:

This is amazing

Pixlriffs:

You can absolutely Invite her

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

They’re now talking about what fandoms they’re in

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Now they’re adding each other on discord

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

afasvce

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Scott how dare you

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

He’s telling her about D&D

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

She sounds really excited

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

i’m adding her

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell has added ShubbleYT

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

look, new friend

 

ShubbleYT:

Hello everyone! My name is Shrub. 

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Hi (◠‿◠ ) / ✿

 

Mer-idiot: 

Hello!

Pixlriffs:
I'm the DM it's nice to meet you. Can I please hear about how much experience you have

 

ShubbleYT:

I've only listened to a few podcasts but I really want to learn

 

Pixlriffs:

I’m free today, @ShubbleYT would you like to have a mini-session for you to make a character?

 

ShubbleYT: 

Yes please also I already have a character in mind if you don’t mind

ShubbleYT:
I want to be a gnome ranger

 

Pixlriffs:

Brilliant! Does anyone else want to join Shrub to help her begin?

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I can make it

fWhip:

I can come this time

GeminiTay:

Me as well

 

MythicalSausage:

Let's goo!!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

katherine?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I can’t make it (:_;)

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

oh no who could have seen this coming

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

(`^´)

 

Pixlriffs:

Well see you after school

Chapter Text

(Wednesday 7:42 AM)

 

MythicalSausage:

Hey Jimmy check what I have

MythicalSausage sent the file WorldsGreatestMP3player.jpg

(a picture of a green mp3 player with a cod sticker on it. There is only one song on it)

 

Mer-idiot:

Susage how did you get that!

 

MythicalSauasge:

You left it in the clubroom 

 

Pixlriffs:

You still have an Mp3 player?

 

Mer-idiot:

I’ve had it since midle school and Give it back!

 

MythicalSausage:

You have only one song on it

 

Mer-idiot:

It’s a good song!

 

MythicalSausage:

It’s Angel with a Shotgun

 

Mer-idiot:

It’s a good song

 

Mer-idiot:

scott can vouch for me!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

i will not

 

Mer-idiot:

What about summer camp

Mer-idiot:

Remember how I would sneak into your bed and we’d listen to it together

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

That’s so cute 

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

If I say it’s a good song, will you promise not to bring summer camp up again

 

Mer-idiot:

No promisis

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

then i guess it's a bad song then

 

fWhip:

I don’t know Katherine, is it really that cute for two kids to be listening to Angel with a Shotgun

 

MythicalSausage:

It gets worse

MythicalSausage:

It's The nightcore version!

 

fWhip

It got so much worse

 

SmallishBeans:

It’s a good song!

 

Mer-idiot:

It’s a good song!

 

Mer-idiot:

Joel You have my back

SmallishBeans:

I’ll always have your back bro

 

Mer-idiot:

Bro :,)

 

SmallishBeans:

Bro ;)

 

Mer-idiot:

Bro <3

 

SmallishBeans:

Bro <3

 

GeminiTay:

Lizzie what’s happening?

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

They do this a lot. I think they’re flirting?

Eldritch Girlboss:

I swear if Joel met Jimmy first, I would be the one calling him my brother-in-law

 

SmallishBeans:

It’s true I love your brother

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

See what I mean

 

Mer-idiot:

I love you too bro

 

SmallishBeans:

You’re my whole world bro

 

Mer-idiot:

Bro 

 

SmallishBeans:

Let’s break into Sausage’s locker and get your mp3 back Bro

 

Mer-idiot:

Le’ts do it Bro

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

The bell’s about to ring, you still have to go to class.

 

Mer-idiot:

Let’s do it afer class!

 

MythicalSausage:

You guys don’t even know where my Locker is

 

Mer-idiot:

We’ll find it eventually

Chapter Text

(Thursday 7:40 AM)

 

fWhip:

Jimmy that wasn’t Sausage’s locker

 

fWhip:

I can’t even get to my stuff

 

GeminiTay:

What did Jimmy do?

 

Mer-idiot:

I covred his locker in slime

 

fWhip:

He covered my locker in slime

 

fWhip:

You were one locker off

 

Mer-idiot:

Jeol we were close!

 

SmallishBeans:

We’ll get Sausage next time

 

MythicalSausage:

How dare you slime my closest friend!

 

GeminiTay:

I’m still here Sausage

 

MythicalSausage:

How dare you slime one of my closest friends!

 

MythicalSausage:

James Jimmy Solidarity I challenge you to a duel

 

Mer-idiot:

A hamilton duel?

 

MythicalSausage:

No

 

Mer-idiot:

A yugioh deul?

 

MythicalSausage:

No

 

Mer-idiot:

A pokemon duel?

 

MythicalSausage:

No

 

MythicalSausage:

I See you typing

MythicalSausage:

Let me just tell you the duel format

MythicalSausage:

After today’s session you and I will duel in the most honorable way

MythicalSausage:

We let it rip!

 

PearlescentMoon:

You want to have a fart battle?

 

SmallishBeans:

Hah Jimmy and I can win easy

 

fWhip:

Sausage I don’t want to be your friend anymore

 

Mer-idiot:

Can I say no to this?

 

MythicalSausage:

No

MythicalSauasage:

Beyblade!

MythicalSausage:

you know Let it rip

 

SmallishBeans:

I don’t know what that means

 

Pixlriffs:

I didn’t know you still have beyblades

 

MythicalSausage:

Like I would tell you, beyblade thief 

 

Mer-idiot:

I cant fight you I dont have any beyblads

 

MythicalSausage:

I’ll let you have first pick of my collection

 

Pixlriffs:

Sausage that’s just the pokemon rival problem

 

Pixlriffs:

Jimmy’s going to choose choose a random beyblade and then you’re going to choose the one that has an advantage over it

 

Pixlriffs:

Jimm Choose the attack type and angle your launch to align with the arena so you get the perfect star launch. The beyblade will loop around the arena covering as much area as possible instead of just circling around the edge of the arena. If sausage chooses a defense or stamina type he won’t have a chance against youujilklk

 

Pixlriffs:

Sorry about that Zloy stole my phone,

Pixlriffs:

but jimmy did you get that

 

Mer-idiot:

 beyblades have tpes?

 

Pixlriffs:

I’ll give you a crash course after school

 

MythicalSausage:

Even with Zloy and Pix’s knowledge you’ll never beat me

 

Eldritch girlboss:

I’ll tell our parents how you died

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
You were nice to look at

 

fWhip:

It was good knowing you Jim

 

Mer-idiot:

Why do you guys just asume I’m going to lose

 

SmallishBeans:

Sausage knows what he’s doing

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

why are you all taking this so seriously

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

it’s not  like sausage is going to summon the spirit of lighting l-drago and send Jimmy into a coma like what happened to tsubasa in metal fury

 

MythicalSausage:

elf-boy has taste

 

Killed a man feeling good:

What the heck Scott

Killed a man feeling good:

Now is the time you want to pull out your beyblade knowledge

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

When else am I going to?

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I watched it a lot in primary school okay

 

ShubbleYT:

I am so lost right now

 

PearlescentMoon:

I think the most important thing is that Sausage and Jimmy are going to fight

 

SmallishBeans:

Also Scott is a nerd

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

(-_-)

 

(Thursday 12:30 PM)

Jonamir Pixel Riffs created the chat “Heist of the year”

 

Jonamir Pixel Riffs has added Zlonothan Experience

 

Jonamir Pixel Riffs:

Zloy the time has come

 

Zlonothan Experience:

Are we doing crime again?

 

Jonamir Pixel Riffs:

Always, my friend

Jonny Pixel Riffs:

Do you have your lock pick on you

 

Zlonothan Experience:

Always >:‑)

 

Jonamir Pixel Riffs has added James Solidarity

 

Jonamir Pixel Riffs:

I have a plan to make sure you don’t have to battle Sausage

Jonamir Pixel Riffs:

Jimmy meet me and Zloy in the clubroom after school

 

James Solidarity:

Thank you Pixl I really don’t wan to do it

 

Zlonothan Experience:

here's the gist of the plan

Zlonothan Experience:

Pix is going to distract Sausage

Zlonothan Experience:

WHile you and I go break into Sausage's locker

Zlonothan Experience:

We get your Mp3 player back and I get that sweet beyblade loot

 

James Solidarity:

👍

 

Zlonothan Experience:

then we can threaten him or whatever

Chapter 10

Summary:

The one where Joey tries to flirt and Zloy eats beyblades like oreos

Chapter Text

(Thursday 4:45 PM)

MythicalSausage:

How dare you, Pixl

MythicalSausage:

I should have known that you were as petty as I am

 

Pixlriffs:

You should really blame Zloy

Pixlriffs:

He’s been wanting a new set of beyblades to chew on

 

MythicalSausage:

You wouldn’t dare!

 

Pixlriffs:

Call off the fight Mythical Sausage

 

MythicalSausage:

You’re bluffing!

MythicalSausage:

That was 3rd grade, you’re seniors now!

 

Pixlriffs sent heshungry.jpg

(Zloy is sitting at a table in the club room. He has an oreo pack opened but the middle row has been replaced with beyblades. In his hands is a disassembled beyblade about to dip one of the pieces in a glass of milk.)

 

Pixlriffs:

He’s got a taste for plastic and metal recently

 

MythicalSausage:

Please no! Not my phantom orion

MythicalSausage:

That’s the rare black and white version

 

Pixlriffs:

It looks so much like a cookie, Sausage

Pixlriffs:

I don’t think I can control him for much longer

 

MythicalSausage:

Fine I’ll call off the fight

MythicalSausage:

No more duel.

MythicalSausage:

Just give me back my babies

 

Pixlriffs:

It was nice negotiating with you Sausage

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Not gonna lie, that was kinda hot, Pix

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Man knows how to threaten people

JOEYGRACEFFA:

And the production value of that photo

JOEYGRACEFFA:

WHo brings a glass cup to school

JOEYGRACEFFA:
The beyblades in the oreo pack

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Zloy’s pose

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Absolutely Magnificent

Pixlriffs:

Thank you very much, Joey Graceffa

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

So are you seeing anyone?

 

Pixlriffs:

Sorry Joey I’m very flattered but I’m not really looking for anything right now

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Well I had to shoot my shot

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

You have to. Or how else are you going to know

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Exactly! Thank you Katherine

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Isn’t that right Scott?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Why am I being roped into this?

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I didn't do anything

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Exactly

 

Pixlriffs:

Anyway if anyone is still on campus we have a few packs of oreos if anyone wants to have some

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Count me in!

 

Mer-idiot:

There’s also milk

Mer-idiot:

That hasn’t had beyblade bits in it

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Let’s go!

 

SmallishBeans:

I love beyblade free milk

 

PearlescentMoon:

Oh another party, I can show you all the baby ducks that just hatched

PearlescentMoon:

They’re so adorable.

 

Pixlriffs has changed PearlescentMoon ’s name to Duck Mom

 

Duck Mom:

Thanks Pix


GeminiTay:

Let me see those babies!

 

ShubbleYT:

Woo babies

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I may have just been rejected but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy some oreos and baby ducks

 

fWhip:

Sure I can use some sweets

 

MythicalSausage:

I’m getting my babies! But can I stay for a cookie or two?

 

Pixlriffs:

Of course you can

 

Killed a man feeling good:

Scott, are you coming?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Sorry I got auditions for the School play tomorrow

 

Killed a man feeling good:

You’ve been practicing all week you deserve a break you know

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I don’t know the audition is just tomorrow

 

Mer-idiot:

You can have at least one night off right?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Okay fine, I’ll go

 

(Friday 2:03 AM)

fWhip:

Is anyone still awake

 

GeminiTay:

fWhip go to sleep

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Oh Hi

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I got locked out of my house

 

fWhip:

At 2 at night?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Let’s not talk about my problems

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Let’s talk about yours

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Why are you up so late

 

fWhip:

I just went through a break up

 

GeminiTay:

Wait what

GeminiTay:

You and Simon have been dating for a full year

GeminiTay:

That’s basically a lifetime in high school years

 

Mer-idiot:

Wait Simon the Salmon person?

Mer-idiot:

I never liked them (edited)

 

GeminiTay:

They use they/them pronouns

 

Mer-idiot:

Whoops let me fix that

Mer-idiot:

That’s rough buddy

 

fWhip:

They told me “I need someone who can play GoFish like a real gamer”

fWhip:

What does that even mean

 

GeminiTay:

How bad are you at GoFish that someone broke up with you?

 

fWhip:

I thought we were playing Solitaire

 

Mer-idiot:

I’m sorry but those are very diferent games.

 

fWhip:

I don’t know card games okay

fWhip:

We played yahtzee more

fWhip:

Why are you guys awake then?

 

Mer-idiot:

Katherine said I should do the audition

Mer-idiot:

So i’ve been trying read the sript she gave me

 

fWhip:

Wow I believe in you

 

GeminiTay:

Well you are pretty good at reacting

GeminiTay:

That’s like 90% of acting

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You do have a really expressive face

JOEYGRACEFFA:

And a really great smile if I do say so myself

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You know what that was weird

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I’m not going to hit on my best friend’s little brother

 

Mer-idiot:

Thanks guys, but I really don't understand all of the anons and stuff

Mer-idiot:

I don’t think I’ll get a major role but it would be nice to get something

Mer-idiot:

Joey what are you doing right now?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I’ve just been chilling on my patio

JOEYGRACEFFA:
I don’t know where my key is

 

Mer-idiot:

Does it hve a tiger key chain on it?


JOEYGRACEFFA:

That’s the one

 

Mer-idiot:

Wait I think you left that in Lizzie’s car

Mer-idiot:

I can drop it off for you

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Thank you so much Jimmy.

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I can help you with your script, I used to be an actor you know

 

Mer-idiot:

Thank you so much Joey

 

fWhip:

What about you Gem?

 

GeminiTay:

I heard my baby brother crying

 

fWhip:

You’re only older by 4 minutes

 

GeminiTay:

And I will lord those 4 minutes over you as long as you annoy me

 

fWhip:

Hey I’m hurting right now

 

GeminiTay:

I’ll get the Raspberry Ripple out of the fridge

 

fWhip:

Thank you so much

 

GeminiTay:

<3

Chapter 11

Summary:

The one where teenage girls are terrifying

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

(Friday 3:11 PM)

Mer-idiot:

Somone please help me

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

What did you do this time

 

Mer-idiot:

I got locked in the janitor closet

 

SmallishBeans:

How did you do that

 

Mer-idiot:

someone pushed me inside and locked the door

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

What now

Eldritch Girlboss:

@MythicalSausage if this was you. You better sleep with one eye open

 

MythicalSausage:

It wasn’t me!

MythicalSausage:

At least not this time

MythicalSausage:

I can’t incite Pixl’s wrath so soon

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Jimmy give me more info about the criminal

 

Mer-idiot:

The person that locked me inside was wearing all black

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

@fWhip I swear I will toss all of your gadgets into the pool and burn your scarf

 

fWhip:

What no!! I didn’t do it

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Tell me a good reason why it wasn’t you, you dark academia wannabe

 

fWhip:

Is that really what you think of me

fWhip

I have server maintenance duty on Fridays

fWhip:

It wasn’t me, I swear

fWhip:

Don’t touch my drones please

 

Mer-idiot:

Liz they had a scottish accent

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

@Scott Elf King of Rivendell you’re not in middle school anymore. You actually have to talk about your feelings

 

Killed a man feeling good:

^^^^^

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I don’t know what you’re talking about?

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I didn’t do anything

 

Mer-idiot:

Lizzie they were taller than me

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

So it wasn’t Scott

Eldritch Girlboss:

Who did it then?

Eldritch Girlboss:

Who am I going to not-alive to defend my brother’s honor

 

Mer-idiot:

I don now but can someone please let me out?

 

Pixlriffs:

I’ll get Zloy

Pixlriffs:

He might be running a journalism meeting right now so it might be a while

Pixlriffs:

Actually I could just borrow his lock pick

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Can’t you just get a teacher with a key? 

 

Pixlriffs:

Oh yeah

Pixlriffs:

I had crime on the brain

Pixlriffs:

We can get a teacher

Pixlriffs:

Which janitorial closet are you in

 

Mer-idiot:

The one near the auditorium

 

Pixlriffs:

@everyone if anyone is near the auditorium can you please get a teacher to free Jimmy

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

i’m near there

 

Mer-idiot:

Can you please hurry 

Mer-idiot:

I’ve been stuck in here for a wile

Mer-idiot:

I need to get to the audition

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

why are you going to the audition


Mer-idiot:

Oh Katherine said I should audition

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
okay then, You better not get in my way

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

i’m going for the lead

 

Mer-idiot:

I’m just hoping to get anything at all

Mer-idiot:

I don’t think I’m that good anyway
Mer-idiot:

You don’t have to worry

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Lies!

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Jimmy you did great last night at my house

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You can definitely get a major role. 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
You could totally get Romeo

 

Mer-idiot:

Thanks Joey

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

<3

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Maybe I should just leave you there

 

Mer-idiot:

Scott please

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Might I remind you Scott that I am still here
Eldritch Girlboss:

And that you being near the scene of the crime doesn’t look too good for you

Eldritch Girlboss:

It would be a shame for someone that knows where you live to have a vendetta against you

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I’m almost there, Jimmy

 

GeminiTay:

Lizzie as a fellow big sister you are terrifying
GeminiTay:

I would never do that for my little brother

 

MythicalSausage:

I swear I say you threaten Simon today

 

fWhip:

Gem what now

 

GeminiTay:

I didn’t do anything

MythicalSausage:

I thought I heard you say
MythicalSausage:

No one hurts my brother without consequences

 

fWhip:

Gem you shouldn’t have

 

GeminiTay:

It was nothing

 

fWhip:

I meant you really shouldn’t have

fWhip:

I just got back together with Simon

fWhip:

They apologized for breaking up with me over GoFish

 

GeminiTay:

Well then

GeminiTay:

Oh not I’m going through a tunnel
GeminiTay:

Krkrkkrkkrkkrkrkrkkrkrk Bye!

 

(Friday 3:32 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

Theater Nerd:

Katherine why did you tell him to Audition

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I thought it would be fun

 

Theater Nerd:

Fun for who

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Fun for him and fun for you

 

Theater Nerd:

Katherine why are you doing this

Theater Nerd:

Is this about me talking to Shrub first

 

Flower Enjoyer:

No

Flower Enjoyer:

It’s because you like Jimmy

 

Theater Nerd:

I don’t like Jimmy

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Are we really doing this?

Flower Enjoyer:

Fine then

 

Flower Enjoyer sent caughtin4k.png

(a candid picture of Scott staring fondly at Jimmy during the cupcake party.)

 

Theater Nerd:

So what?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I know what that look is

 

Theater Nerd:

It’s not like I stared at him like that after that

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Are you sure about that?

 

Flower Enjoyer sent caughtin8k.png

(another candid photo of Scott looking at Jimmy this time during the oreo party)

 

Theater Nerd:

That doesn’t prove anything

 

Flower Enjoyer:

But you deleting these definitely says something

 

Flower Enjoyer sent caughtin16k.png

(a screenshot of the 10 messages that Scott deleted from chapter 3

 

Mer-idiot:

Wait wat is that in th empty char

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Oh you mean this?

Eldritch Girlboss sent the file scottstinyfriend.png

(the picture is of the chair in between Lizzie and Scott. On the chair is a plush bear wearing a Captain America hoodie, it looks like it’s been taken care of. Scott is turned away from the camera talking to Katherine)

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

We wanted something to represent you, and Scott had the perfect stuffed animal for it

 

Mer-idiot:

He kept it!

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

You gave him something? o_O

 

Mer-idiot:

Yeah wen we were at summer camp in middle school. I gav him that bear.

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

So that's why it looked familiar

 

Mer-idiot:

I broke my arm and had to go hom eearly. Scott didnt want me to leave so I gave him my my bear so he woldnt cry anymore. 

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

That’s so cute (; _ ;) )

 

Flower Enjoyer:

So that bear huh?

Flower Enjoyer:

I always wondered why you always kept that bear on your bed

Flower Enjoyer:

Even when your other stuffed animals went through their seasonal rotation

 

Theater Enjoyer:

It’s a good bear

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Scott is that really all there is?

 

Read 3:46 PM

 

(Friday 7:15 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Are you ready to talk about it?

 

Read 7:38 PM

 

(Saturday 8:58 AM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:

How about now?

 

Read 10:36 AM

 

(Saturday 4:32 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Scott?

 

Read 7:36 PM

 

(Sunday 12:32 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Hey

 

Read 6:47 PM

 

(Sunday 6:52 PM)

Flower Enjoyer:

You know what

Flower Enjoyer:

If you're going to ignore me

Flower Enjoyer:

I'll ignore you too

Flower Enjoyer:

Bye Scott

 

Read 6:52 PM

Notes:

was this based on when Katherine pulled out Jimmy's receipts? why yes

There was a version of this where Katherine found Scott's spotify playlist. I regret not using it

Chapter Text

(Monday 12:34 PM)

 

fWhip: 

Simon broke up with me again…

 

GeminiTay: 

It’s only been 3 days

 

fWhip:

We played Uno…

 

SmallishBeans:

That was so funny!

 

GeminiTay:

What the heck are you talking about

 

SmallishBeans:

fWhip, Jimmy, Simon Grian and I were playing Uno in the parking lot behind the gas station and we had a +20 going in a chain and fWHip thought Simon had another + 2 but they didn’t so fwhip called uno and Simon got 27 cards in their hand
SmallishBeans:

Simon just threw their cards at fWhip and said we’re over

 

fWhip:

I got a papercut

 

Mer-idiot:

I hate agreeing with Simon but I think it was fair to break up over that

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

I agree, I would of killed Joel 

 

SmallishBeans:

It would be completely justified

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I don’t think I’ve ever played Uno

 

ShubbleYT:
Really?!

ShubbleYT:

We should play

ShubbeYT:

We could meet at my house

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Your house? 👉👈

 

ShubbleYT:

Yeah Katherine, we all could!

 

SmallishBeans:

I’m in!

SmallishBeans:

I hunger for the chaos of the CaRd GAmE

 

Duck Mom:

You are speaking my language Joel

Duck Mom:

I thirst for combat!

 

MythicalSausage:

I would like to fight as well

 

GeminiTay:

You guys are really getting into this

GeminiTay:

Isn’t this a little too dramatic?

 

Pixlriffs:

Gem, this is a dungeon & dragons chat of course they're going to be dramatic

 

GeminiTay:

You got me there

GeminiTay:

I can’t go

GeminiTay:

I’m going to buy ice cream after school

 

Mer-idiot:

Why are you buying ice cream?

 

GeminiTay:

I sense someone wanting a lot of Raspberry Ripple

 

fWhip:

Thank you Gem

fWhip:

I don’t think I can handle more Uno

fWhip:

I’ll just mope in my room

 

Mer-idiot:

We cant hve you do that again

Mer-idiot:

Hey Pixl cn you set up a campaign today

 

Pixlriffs:

Sure 

 

Mer-idiot:

Let’s have a fWhip day!

Mer-idiot:

Scott you’re not doing anything right?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Not really

 

Mer-idiot:

Want to join our game?

Mer-idiot:

We’ve never actually played together yet

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

fine

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

You can play with me however you want

 

Mer-idiot:

Cool :D

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

I’ll join as well

 

GeminiTay:

I will bring ice cream to club room then

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Joey you’ve been through a lot of breakups

Eldritch Girlboss:

You must be an expert at dealing with them now

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
First of all rude

JOEYGRACEFFA:
Second of all, I can’t help you right now, I’m going on a date with the new kid

JOEYGRACEFFA:
Well they don’t know it’s a date 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
He said something about the back of a mcdonald’s drive through and I’m kind interested in what that means

 

(private message from Jimmy to Lizbeans)


Jimmy:

Liz is Joey going to get murdered?

 

Lizbeans:

I hope not

Lizbeans:

I think I’ll follow him to be safe.



(Monday 12:43 PM)

D&D Group 3

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Turns out I have something I need to do

Eldritch Girlboss:

You know once a month stuff

 

fWhip:

I completely understand

 

Pixlriffs:

After School session then! Let’s do it!

 

Mer-idiot:

Were gona have a great time!



(Monday 5:45 PM)
fWhip:

Jimmy you were right I had a great time

 

Mer-idiot:

I had an awful time

Mer-idiot:

I can’t believe you all ganged up on me like that

Mer-idiot:

Friendship ended with all of you Pixl is my only friend now

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

What happened?

 

fWhip:

I took his awful hat

 

Mer-idiot:

They took my awesome hat

 

SmallishBeans:

You will pay fWhip for taking the Codfather’s crown!

 

SmallishBeans has changed their name to Codvenger

 

Codvenger:

I must avenge the codfather!

 

Mer-idiot:

I love you bro

 

Codvenger:

You’re my entire world bro

 

Mer-idiot:

Bro

Mer-idiot:

<3

 

Codvenger:

<3

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell
💙🧡💛

 

Codvenger:

It takes one to know one Scott

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I don’t know what you mean

 

Codvenger:

Poppies

 

Mer-idiot:

?

 

Codvenger:

Don’t worry about Jimmy!

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

As much as I love my two favorite boys get along

Eldritch Girlboss:
Please stop flirting on main

 

Mer-idiot:

Lizzie they stole my hat

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Why though

 

Mer-idiot:

fWhip nocked me out ingame and then stole my crown and decided to steal my real hat to

 

fWhip:

It made feel a lot better though

 

Mer-idiot:

That’s great fWhippy but please can I get it back

 

fWhip:

Sorry Jim, but I don’t have it

 

Mer-idiot:

What are you talking about

 

fWhip:

I hid it around the school

fWhip:

You’re going to have to find it 

 

Mer-idiot:

Ill participate in your twisted scavenger hunt you steampunk salmonlover

 

fWhip:

:P

Chapter Text

(Thursday 10:33 AM)

 

Mer-idiot: 

Hey canI askyou a wird quston?

 

Pixlriffs: 

Why are you texting during class?

 

Mer-idiot: 

I hav a fevr so I staed hom

 

Scott Elf King of RIvendell: 

You definitely have more than a fever 

 

Pixlriffs: 

Scott get back to class!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell: 

You can’t tell me what to do

Scott Elf King of Rivendell: 

You’re not my dad

 

Codvenger: 

Yeah Pix is my dad

 

Pixlriffs: 

You’re not helping Joel

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed Pixlriffs ’s name to Copper Dad

 

Copper Dad:

I regret giving you that power

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed Copper Dad ’s name to Copper Daddy

 

Copper Daddy:

I hate this more 

Copper Daddy:

If you have to, I’ll stick with the other one

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed Copper Daddy ’s name to Copper Dad

 

Copper Dad:

Go back to class Scott



JOEYGRACEFFA:

Hello little gay people in my phone

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Hello other gay people in my phone

 

Mer-idiot:

’m nt ga

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell: 

I have no idea what that says

 

Codvenger: 

What about us , Jimmy

 

Codvenger: 

Have you been leading me on

 

Mer-idiot: 

D:

 

Eldritch Girlboss: 

Stop texting during class

 

Mer-idiot: 

eelo Lize 

 

Eldritch Girlboss: 

Jimmy your typing is even worse than usual go back to sleep

 

Mer-idiot: 

Bt diosa trn

 

Eldritch Girlboss: 

You can text later when you’re not loopy

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: 

What’s happening

 

Codvenger: 

Jimmy has a question

 

Copper Dad: 

Get back to class!

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: 

Shouldn’t we say the same about you

 

Copper Dad: 

I’m a senior, with free periods I can do whatever I want

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: 

fine then, I’ll get back to English

JOEYGRACEFFA: 

Wtf is amontillado

 

(Thursday 3:31 PM)

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

@Mer-idiot What was your question

 

Mer-idiot:

Oh yea I was watcing dinosaur train earlier and I was gonna sk if you were a dinosaur what would you be

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
easy, Deinonychus

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Fast, pretty plumage, roams in a pack is that a Deinonychus or is that Me

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Scientists can’t tell

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Lizzie is a mosasaurus I know it’s not actually a dinosaur but she’s a scary sea monster that will break my bones

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

That is true

 

Shubble:

What would I be?

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Ceolophysis, tiny and likes being around friends


Shubble:

Oooo

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Katherine has hadrosaur vibes. I think tsintaosaurus

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

It has a unicorn horn!


JOEYGRACEFFA:

Sausage is a pachycephalosaurus because he’s always butting heads with someone

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Joel is a stegosaurus. Small brain and likes plates

 

Codvenger:

Excuse me I like all of my ceramics not just plates

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

That’s the part you refute?

 

Codvenger:

What? You’re not wrong

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Pearl is like a triceratops she will charge head first to fight someone

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Pixl has ankylosaurus vibes he seems grounded but would club you

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Scott wouldn’t be a dinosaur, he’s probably a pterosaur. I would say Pteranodon. High and mighty with hollow bones

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

What does that mean

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You have hollow bones

 

fWhip:

Yeah Scott it’s pretty obvious what that means

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

fWhip is an Amargasaurus. I just think he deserves cool spines

 

fWhip:

Nice

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Gem is a Dicraeosaurus it’s in the same family as Amargasaurus but it’s older and a little taller

 

GeminiTay:

nice

 

fWhip:

I can’t believe I’m being bullied by Joey now

 

GeminiTay:

It's true though

 

fWhip:

You're only taller by 1 centimeter

 

Mer-idiot:

👏👏

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Finally Jimmy is an incthyosaurus because fish

 

Mer-idiot:

: |

 

Copper Dad:

What just happened

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Joey Graceffa popped off

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Now if you don’t mind me, I have a date. 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

A boy invited me to his basement because he wanted to show me his bottle collection

 

Copper Dad:

Didn’t you just read Cask of Amontillado?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Yeah what’s your point?

 

Copper Dad:

Never mind then enjoy your date, Fortunato

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

My name is Joey?

Chapter Text

(Friday 12:41 PM)

Eldritch Girlboss:

Has anyone seen Joey?

Eldritch Girlboss:

He’s been absent in all of my classes

 

Copper Dad:

Do you think he got trapped behind a wall at his date

 

Eldritch Girlboss:
Knowing him he could have got stuck in a pit with a swinging blade above him and the siren bells in his head still wouldn’t ring

Eldritch Girlboss:

I really hope he’s okay

 

Copper Dad:

I’m sure he is

Copper Dad:

Zloy has a free period after lunch

Copper dad

I can convince him to check up on him

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Thank you so much Pix

 

Codvenger:

You’re such a dad

 

Copper Dad:

I hate that

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Emergency!

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

SOmeOne TraMpleD the GaRdEN

 

Duck Mom:

Excuse me

 

Shubble:

What!

Shubble:

But you worked so hard to grow those tulips

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

The flowers were destroyed but the bulbs are still intact

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

The gardening club can keep them to grow new ones after winter

 

Shubble:

That’s good I love tulips

Shubble:

But do you know who could’ve done it?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

No clue

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

It’s really weird too

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

None of the red flowers were trampled

 

Duck Mom:

Thats so odd

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

We’ll still have a lot of roses to sell for Homecoming in a month though

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

But I really wanted to make a bouquet with the pink, orange, and white ones.

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I’m so devastated

 

Shubble:

That sounds awful

 

Duck Mom:

Speaking of red

Duck Mom:

When I went to the barn all of the sheep died

 

Shubble:

NO!

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Not the sheep!

 

Duck Mom:

Sorry I meant “were dyed”

 

Shubble:

What?

 

Duck Mom:

All of the sheep were red 

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Are they safe though?

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I hate the thought of poor sheepies hurt

 

Duck Mom:

As far as I can tell it’s only food coloring

Duck Mom:

A lot of it

Duck Mom:

The sheep will need an extra long bath this weekend but I think they’ll be okay

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Oh that’s good

 

Mer-idiot:

Katherine I’m so nerous

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Oh yeah! The audition results are today!

 

Mer-idiot:

I know tht I wasnt expecting anything but it’s still nerve wracking

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Don’t worry about it. I might have some insider information

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I overheard Ms. Larsson talking about casting with the art teacher

 

Mer-idiot:

Mr. Boerstra?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

That’s the one. Anyway apparently Grian was cast as Juliet

 

Duck Mom:

That’s so like him, I hope he gets to stab someone

 

GeminiTay:

I don’t think Juliet ever stabs anyone

 

Duck Mom:

They could rewrite the story, Gem

 

GeminiTay:

I guess. but why Grian? Weren’t there other girls who auditioned?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Apparently Grian was the only person who is small enough to fit in the balcony set

 

Duck Mom:

I mean Cleo is like 6 foot so that makes sense

Duck Mom:

What about Stress she’s shorter than Grian

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I think she was cast as Lady Montague first. 

 

GeminiTay:

Ms. Larsson took one look at Stress and said mom friend

GeminiTay:

And she’d be right

GeminiTay:

She gave me and False cookies today She’s so good to us

 

Mer-idiot:

Did you find out if I’m in the show?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

The only information that I have left is that Cleo is the nurse

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

AND that everyone who auditioned got a part

 

Mer-idiot:

So I’m in the show. Now I’m just scared about what part I’ll get!

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Yeah! I’m sure it’s going to be a good one!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I doubt it

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

He’d probably only get something like Sampson or Abraham or even Gregory

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Ugh Gregory

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Scott be nice

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

What it’s just a fact, people with less experience tend to get bad roles

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

And Jimmy’s literally signed up for the audition a day before

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I mean he could even just be stage filler

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

He could just be there to stand and look pretty

 

Mer-idiot:

I guess i’ll start going to clas then

 

(Friday 1:21 PM)

Private Message between Zlonamir and Pixathan

 

Zlonamir:

Are you sure this is the place?

 

Pixathan:

It’s the address that Lizzie sent me

 

Zlonamir:

Never mind I see the baby pictures through the window

Zlonamir:

It’s so weird that every single picture I’ve seen of Joey has his shirt off

 

Pixathan:

It’s the wings I’m pretty sure

 

Zlonamir:

If grian can wear that red jumper every single day of his life, Joey can wear a shirt once in a while

 

Pixathan:

Okay that’s a really good point

 

Zlonamir:

Weird, the front door is unlocked.

 

Pixathan:

Please don’t get arrested

 

Zlonamir:

I won’t get caught

 

Pixathan:

That’s what you always say

 

Zlonamir:

Okay I think I found his room

Zlonamir:

Oh I hear something

Zlonamir:

I have to go

 

Pixathan:

What’s happening

 

Pixathan:

Are you there?

Pixathan:

Zloy?

 

(Friday 3:21 PM)

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Jimmy I just got the email!

Eldritch Girlboss:

I’m so proud of you

 

Mer-idiot:

What part did I get

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

You got Mercutio!

 

Mer-idiot:

What!

 

Codvenger:

Jimmy that’s like the 3rd most important role

 

Mer-idiot:

How did I get that

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I told you that you were good

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

If only Joey were here, he’d take all the credit for this

Eldritch Girlboss:

But that’s all you

 

fWhip:

I think it makes a lot of sense

fWhip:

Mercutio is pretty dim and gets into a lot of fights

 

Mer-idiot:

Hey!

 

fWhip:

I’m just kidding! I think you’ll do amazing

 

Mer-idiot:

Will you tell me where my hat is now that I’ve got a big part?

 

fWhip:

Nope you have to find it yourself

 

Copper Dad has changed Mer-idiot ’s name to Mer-cutio

 

Copper Dad:

I’m very proud of you

 

Mer-cutio:

Thanks dad

Copper Dad:

I am suddenly filled with disappointment

 

Mer-cutio:

I’m sorry Joel got me to do it

 

Copper Dad:

Don’t worry I’m still proud, there’s just a lot of disappointment now

 

Mer-cutio:

Scott what role did you get?

Mer-cutio:

You were trying for a lead right?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Benvolio…

 

Mer-cutio:

Is he important?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Ugh

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

You know what I hate this

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell has left “D&D group 3”

 

Mer-cutio:

Katherine what just happened

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

He’s going to hate me for this but he’ll thank me later

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

I’m sending you his number

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

o7

 

(Friday 3:57 PM)

Transcript of a call between Jimmy and Scott

 

Jimmy:

I'm sorry.

 

Scott:

No you’re not!

 

Jimmy:

I feel bad for whatever I did. Please come back to the group chat.

 

Scott:

See that’s not how apologies work.

 

You don’t even know what you did.

 

Jimmy:

Then tell me Scott!

 

Scott:

Just Ughh.

 

Jimmy:

See you don’t even know what I did.

 

Scott:

You’re just… You.

 

And I hate it.

 

Jimmy:

I didn’t realize that you hated me so much. I’ll just leave you alo-

 

Scott:

I don’t mean it like that…

 

Just you make me feel -something- and I don’t like it.

 

Jimmy:

I’m sorry I make you feel that wa-

 

Scott:

Just I spent the entire week before the audition researching Romeo and Juliet. I know the entire script by heart. And you just decided to audition for the play the day before. You didn’t even know who Benvolio was. You have to understand how frustrating that is. You got Mercutio, he's basically the whole reason the plot happens in the first place. All I’m stuck with is Benvolio. I don’t even get to die in a tragic way like you do.

 

Jimmy:

I die?

 

Scott:

That’s exactly what I mean

 

Jimmy:

I can quit, if you hate the idea so much

 

Scott:

That wouldn’t be fair to you and that wouldn’t be fair to the show. This is my problem. I really shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry. Considering that we’re going to be a duo, I can’t really avoid you.

 

Jimmy:

We’re a duo?

 

Scott:

Yeah Benvolio and Mercutio are kind of like foils to each other. One is deadpan and level-headed while the other is out-going and emotional. They're different but they’re always around each other. Benvolio doesn’t really die in the show but doesn’t make an actual appearance after Mercutio dies.

 

Jimmy: 

You really do know a lot about the show.

 

Scott:

That's just basic analysis, but I did spend a week researching the show after all.

 

Jimmy:

Do you think you could teach me.

 

Scott:

What do you mean?

 

Jimmy:

I don’t want to ruin the show. You know a lot. I know nothing. This is my first show. I really need help. I really need your help.

 

Scott:

What do you propose we do?

 

Jimmy:

I don’t know, can we meet up at your house and you can help me with the script. I really don’t understand the story.

 

Scott:

Well you could probably watch a movie or a recording of a play if you really want to get the story.

 

Jimmy: 

Can we do that? I want to at least know the story before the first meeting on Monday.

 

Scott:

I guess we don’t have to go to tomorrow’s D&D meeting

 

Jimmy:

That sounds great. I’ll see you at your house tomorrow then

 

Scott:

Yeah see you tomorrow

 

Jimmy:
Oh I forgot, can I add you back to the group chat?

 

Scott:

Yeah sure. Bye Jimmy.

 

Jimmy:

Bye Petal!

 

Scott:

Wh-

 

Jimmy hung up

 

(Friday 4:18 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Theater Nerd:

You were right.

Theater Nerd:

I’m so sorry

 

Flower Enjoyer:

How bad is it?

 

Theater Nerd:

We're watching a movie at my house tomorrow

 

Flower Enjoyer:

So a date?

 

Theater Nerd:

It’s not a date okay

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Whatever you say : P

 

(Friday 5:21 PM)

Private Message between Zlonamir and Pixathan

 

Zlonamir:

Turns out he was just sick

 

Pixathan:

Zloy you had me so worried

Pixathan:

Why didn’t you respond for four hours

 

Zlonamir:

You see his parents weren’t home and he was about to expel the contents of his stomach on his bed

Zlonamir:

I had to take care of him

 

Pixathan:

How much chicken soup did you make

 

Zlonamir:

Pix you’re the dad friend here

 

Pixathan:

Answer the question

 

Zlonamir:

Enough that I’m dropping off leftovers at your house

 

Pixathan:

See you later Zloy glad you’re okay

 

Zlonamir:

Yeah yeah yeah

Chapter Text

(Saturday 10:00 AM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

 

Katherine🦋:

So are you planning on going to D&D today?

 

Shrubble🍄:

Yes I am.  I’m pretty excited since I didn’t get to play with you last time

 

Katherine🦋:

Well I usually ride with Scott to get there but he’s not going today

 

Shrubble🍄:

Oh do you want me to come pick you up?

 

Katherine🦋:

If you would be so kind

 

Shrubble🍄:

Oh its not a problem

 

Shrubble🍄:

See you later!

 

Katherine🦋:

Thank you so much!

 

(Saturday 10:15 AM)

“D&D group 3”

 

Copper Dad:

I had the weirdest dream, I told Zloy and he had no idea what it could be possibly about

 

GeminiTay:

What was the dream?

 

fWhip:

Was it one of those dreams?

 

Copper Dad:

There was a salmon

 

fWhip:

So it was one of those dreams

 

Copper Dad:

What are you talking about?

 

GeminiTay:

fWhip not everyone has the same predilections with salmon that you do

 

fWhip:

You don’t have to shame me in my own home

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed fWhip ’s name to SalmonIsForDesire

 

SalmonIsForDesire:

Scott is back, I see…. 

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Please go on, Pixl

 

Copper Dad:

Well… Simon asked me out to the dance

 

SalmonIsForDesire :

Excuse me

 

Copper Dad:

Don’t worry I said no

 

SalmonIsForDesire :

Good 🔪

 

Codvenger:

Didn’t you and Simon just breakup?

 

SalmonIsForDesire :

We got back together again

 

Codveger:

Again?

 

SalmonIsForDesire :

I love them, okay

 

Copper Dad:

Anyway after i said no, A green man walked next to me and did the whole “Is this person bothering you” routine

 

GeminiTay:

Zloy?

 

Copper Dad:

You’d think it would be him but it wasn’t

 

GeminiTay:

How did you know it wasn’t Zloy?

 

Copper Dad:

Zloy always has goggles and he doesn’t wear a white mask

 

GeminiTay:

Who is this dream man then?

 

Copper Dad:

I don’t know!

 

GeminiTay:

What happened after?

 

Copper Dad:

He stabbed Simon with an axe in jealousy because apparently I went to the dance with him and I started crying over their body

 

SalmonIsForDesire:

That’s my partner! Pix you can’t just kill them off in your dream

 

Copper Dad:

fWhip, you can’t really control dreams

 

SalmonIsForDesire:

Yeah but can’t you do the lucid dream thing

 

Copper Dad:

No, but god I hope it’s not prophetic

Copper Dad:

Apollo please don’t interact

 

Killed a man feeling good:

Are we still having D&D then?

 

Copper Dad:

Yes we are.

Copper Dad:

Can I have a heads up for who’s coming

 

Duck Mom:

I’m ready for dice and heads to roll

 

MythicalSausage:

For the glory of combat!

 

Codvenger:

I’m almost there

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

We’re almost there

Eldritch Girlboss:

Joey can’t text while driving

 

fWhip:

Gem and I are going

 

ShubbleYT:

I just got to Katherine’s house to pick her up!

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

👀

 

Killed a man feeling good:

How about you Scott?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Jimmy and I can’t make it

 

Killed a man feeling good:

👀

 

Copper Dad:

I’ll make sure to prepare for 10 people then

 

(Saturday 10:23 AM)

 

Private Message from Large Pristine Egg to Small Damaged Egg

 

Large Pristine Egg: 

Jimmy aren’t you going to D&D today?

 

Small Damaged Egg:  

I forgt to tell you Im going to Scotts house

 

Large Pristine Egg: 

Oh

Large Pristine Egg: 

What are you doing there

 

Small Damaged Egg: we’re watching movies

 

Large Pristine Egg: 

Well, have fun then

Large Pristine Egg: 

Make sure you get some more blackworms for Sir Strawberry and Lady Marceline when you get back

 

Small Damaged Egg:

I don’t think we’ll be done before the pet store closes

 

Large Pristine Egg:

Oh? Well make sure you come back before curfew. 

 

Small Damaged Egg: 

I will. Love you Lizzie

 

Large Pristine Egg:

Love you too Jimmy

 

(Saturday 10:25 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

Flower Enjoyer:

SCOTT THEY CAME TO PICK ME UP ON A MOTORCYCLE

 

Theater Nerd:

What?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I’m riding on Shrub’s motorcycle

 

Theater Nerd:

Shouldn’t you be holding on?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

If I die, I want my last moments of clutching onto a biker girl to be documented

 

Theater Nerd:

Katherine, that’s really gay

 

Flower Enjoyer:

let me live

Flower Enjoyer:

I didn’t insult you when you went out to buy some weird energy drink when you found out Jimmy was coming over

 

Theater Nerd:

Shut up.. 

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Didn’t you find a promo code on his insta as well

 

Theater Nerd:

You see… he likes it a lot and if people use the code the company will continue to sponsor him

 

Flower Enjoyer:

oh to fall for an influencer

 

Theater Nerd:

Oh I just heard the doorbell ring

Flower Enjoyer:

Don’t enjoy yourself too much!

 

Theater Nerd:

Don’t fall off the bike Katherine!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

(Saturday 11:49 PM)

Private Message from Jimmy and Scott

 

Jimmy:

I jst got home

 

Scott:

We really went overboard with the time

 

Jimmy:

Yeah but it was fun

Jimmy:

I still don’t really get it

 

Scott:

Jimmy we watched 3 different versions of the show

Scott:

How did you not 

 

Jimmy:

I liked the one with Zac Efron

 

Scott:

That was not Zac Efron

Scott:

That movie was from the 70s

 

Jimmy:

But it looked so much like him

Jimmy:

What if he’s secretly immortal

 

Scott:

I don’t want to live in a world where Zac Efron lives on eternal

 

Jimmy:

Well too bad, he’s going to outlive all of us

 

Scott:

Get your head in the game, Jimmy we should probably get back on topic

 

Jimmy:

Oh yeah, I still don’t really get it

 

Scott:

Jimmy, how?

 

Jimmy:

I don’t know? I still don’t really get it

 

Scott:

Again we watched 3 versions of the show

Scott:

The 1968 version, the 1996 one, and the 2013 one

 

Jimmy:

I know the story now but I still don’t get my motivations

 

Scott:

I mean you can come up with those later

 

Jimmy:

But I’ve seen your shows before, I really want to be on your level

 

Scott:

I’m flattered but no one expects you to be the best actor 

 

Jimmy:

Yeah but what you said to me yesterday really got to me

Jimmy:
You worked really hard to get where you are and I don’t want to ruin it by being the weakest link

Jimmy:

You deserve to be part of a good show

 

Scott:

So you want to do this again?

 

Jimmy:

Can we?

 

Scott:

I can find more versions, but I don’t think we can meet on Saturdays since we’ll miss D&D again

 

Jimmy:

We can do Sunday! 

Jimmy: If we do Sunday we can meet up next next week too

 

Scott:

You want to meet up again more?

 

Jimmy:

I like hanging out with you

 

Scott:

I guess we can keep meeting up

 

Jimmy:

Yeah!

 

(Sunday 1:13 AM)

private message between YahtzeeSimon and fWhishy

 

YahtzeeSimon: 

I’m sorry for doing this over text

YahtzeeSimon:

I know that we’ve been dating since we were freshmen but

YahtzeeSimon:

I want us to break up

YahtzeeSimon:

Seriously this time

YahtzeeSimon:

I don’t like you like that anymore

YahtzeeSimon:

Just know that everything I felt for you was real 

YahtzeeSimon:

I loved you

YahtzeeSimon:

Goodbye fWhip

 

(Sunday 8:34 AM)

fWhishy:

Oh

 

Message could not be sent your number has been blocked

 

Chapter 16

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

(Monday 1:20 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I want to issue a challenge

 

Theater Nerd:

Oh?

Theater Nerd:

Does this have anything to do with Homecoming in three weeks?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Yes it does

Flower Enjoyer:

I think the first person to ask out their crush to homecoming should have the other pay for the tickets and a date at a fancy restaurant

 

Theater Nerd:

Why?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I just think that this is a great way to motivate us to move forward

 

Theater Nerd:

Let me guess, you already plan on asking out Shrub today?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I can still chicken out!

 

Theater Nerd:

I know that’s why I’m taking you up on this challenge

Theater Nerd:

but it has to be an actual date

Theater Nerd:

Not a friend date

 

Flower Enjoyer:

Of course

 

(Monday 3:00 PM)

 

MythicalSausage:

Hey Gem and fWhip why weren’t you at school?

 

GeminiTay:

Sorry guys, I was taking care of fWhip all day

 

Duck Mom:

Oh no, what’s up with fWhip?

 

GeminiTay:

He’s dealing with some heartbreak right now

 

Codvenger:

Again?

 

GeminiTay:

This time it’s serious

GeminiTay:

Simon broke up with him in the middle of the night and then blocked his number

GeminiTay:

He’s been despondent since Sunday morning

 

Mer-cutio:

That’s awful

 

GeminiTay:

Yeah it is

 

Mer-cutio:

This is why I don’t like Simon

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

No, you don’t like Simon because they gave you ick in kindergarten

 

Mer-cutio:

They’re the reason I have trouble breathing in water!

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Jimmy you just have under developed gills, it’s fine

 

SalmonIsForDesire:

Hey Scott can you change my name to something else

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Of course buddy, what should it be?

 

SalmonIsForDesire:

I don’t know anything but this, I’ll take suggestions

 

Codvenger:

Daddy fWhip

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed SalmonIsForDesire’s name to Daddy fWhip

 

Daddy fWhip:

Thanks joel...

 

Codvenger:

You’re welcome 😇

 

GeminiTay:

What did we miss?

 

MythicalSausage:

You missed the Homecoming announcement assembly

 

Duck Mom:

It’s like late september, why did they announce Homecoming already

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Obviously it's important to the plot, it’s going to be relevant to upcoming drama

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Joey we’re not living in a story, this is real life

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Let me live

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Also they need nominations for homecoming royalty

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I want to ask out my new boyfriend to the dance

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Is that the same one who ghosted you behind the McDonald's?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
He was just sick that day, okay

 

Codvenger:

Homecoming is nearby which means i can ask a very important question!

 

MythicalSausage:

Oh my god it’s happening

 

Mer-cutio:

:o

 

Codvenger:

Jimmy!

 

Mer-cutio:

Me?!

 

Codvenger:

will you?

 

MythicalSausage:

EVERYONE HE’S GOING TO POP THE QEUSSTION

 

Mer-cutio: 

yes?

 

Codvenger:

Make me the happiest man in the world and-

 

Mer-cutio:

😳

 

Codvenger:

Help me ask out your sister?

 

Mer-cutio:

Yes
Mer-cutio:

yes

Mer-cutio:

a million times yes!

 

MythicalSausage:

I’m so happy that i got to witness this beautiful moment

MythicalSausage:

I’m crying right now

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

You know this was a very odd way of asking my brother for a favor

 

Codvenger:

Yeah but you love when I’m weird

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Yeah yeah i do

 

Codvenger:

You’re going to love how I’m going to ask you

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

I can’t wait <3

 

MythicalSausage:

Aww that’s so cute

MythicalSausage:

Is anyone else going to the dance with someone?

MythicalSausage:

Pixl?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Yeah is a certain masked man asking you out?

 

Copper Dad:

No, but someone did ask me out

 

Codvenger:

Was it Simon?

 

Daddy fWhip:

Dude

 

Codvenger:

I realize now that was probably too soon

Codvenger:

I apologize

Codvenger:

fWhip please don’t hate me

 

Daddy fWhip:

I could never hate you Joel

 

Codvenger:

I could never hate you too, fwhip

 

Daddy fWhip:

Is it just me or is it getting hot in here

 

Codvenger:

No I don’t think it’s just you
Codvenger:
*starts taking off jacket*

 

Daddy fWhip:
*blushes*

Daddy fWhip:
*helps you*

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

why

 

GeminiTay:

At least do this in dms

 

Daddy fWhip:

Joel, if only circumstance didn’t keep us apart

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

It’s me, I’m circumstance

 

Codvenger:

We’re like Romeo and Juliet

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

No that’s Ren and Grian

 

Copper Dad:

Anyway, it was just Zloy

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

😲
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I should have known you two were dating!

 

Copper Dad:

We’re not

Copper Dad:

He just asked me to the dance because (and I quote) “If you’ve never wanted to platonically slow dance with your best friend, I don’t know what you’re doing with your relationship.”

Copper Dad:

I didn’t know what to say other than “Sure, I'll dance with you.”


MythicalSausage:

Well I know who I'm nominating for Homecoming Royalty

 

Duck Mom:

That’s so like Zloy


GeminiTay:

Oh we should ask the other hermit girls to do that too

 

Duck Mom:

That sounds like a lot fun

 

ShubbleYT:

Oh I love that!

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Me too!

 

MythicalSausage:

I am so excited

 

Mer-cutio:

Why are you so excited?

 

MythicalSausage:

Jimmy, I’m on the football team, why wouldn’t I be excited for Homecoming

 

Mer-cutio:

I forgot about that

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Jimmy, we need to get to rehearsal. Where are you?

 

Mer-cutio:

Oh I forget, I’m on the other side of campus

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

If you’re stuck in another closet, I’m not getting you out

 

Mer-cutio:

You don’t have to worry about that

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

You better not be late 

 

Mer-cutio:

I won’t!



(Monday 4:00 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Shrub, I’ve been thinking about us and i really want to

 

(Monday 4:10 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Will you make me the happiest woman

 

(Monday 4:30 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
You, me, the homecoming dance *finger guns*

(Monday 4:40 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Please go out with me I’m desperate

 

(Monday 4:500 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
From the moment I met you, i knew you were the one for me

 

(Monday 5:00 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Can you feel the love tonight, the peace the evening brings

 

(Monday 5:10 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Everytime we touch I get this feeling

 

(Monday 5:20 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
I love you. Most ardently.

 

(Monday 5:30 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
My heart is, and always will be, yours

 

(Monday 5:40 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave

 

(Monday 5:50 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Katherine🦋:
Shrub, would you like to go to the dance with me?

 

Shrubble🍄:

Yes!

 

(Monday 5:52 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:
Read em and weep
Flower Enjoyer sent the file IWin.png

(a screenshot of katherine’s text and shrub’s response, in the bottom right corner, Shrub seems to be typing)

 

Theater Nerd:

I’m not so sure, text me after those three dots are gone

 

(Monday 5:55 PM)

Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄

Shrubble🍄:

I would love to platonically slow dance with you

Shrubble🍄:

I’m so glad you think of me as your best friend

Shrubble🍄:

When I move to this new school, I didn’t really think, I’d find friends so quickly

Shrubble🍄:

Back at my old school, I was bullied pretty badly so I tried to stay out of everyone’s way when i first came here

Shrubble🍄:

Thank you for making me feel like I belong

Shrubble🍄:

Thank you for being my best friend, Katherine

 

Katherine🦋:

Yeah best friends.

 

Shrubble🍄:

<3

 

(Monday 6:00 PM)

Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd

 

Flower Enjoyer:
She thought it was a friend date…

 

Theater Nerd:

Wow, two gals who are just pals

Notes:

That Zloy quote has been stuck in my head for 3 years and this is not hyperbole

Chapter Text

(Tuesday 12:00 PM)

Daddy fWhip:

Hey pixl

 

Copper Dad:

Yes f[redacted] Whip?

 

Daddy fWhip:

Can we do D&D today?

 

Copper Dad:

Sorry I actually have a meeting with group 2 today

Daddy fWhip:

What about tomorrow?

 

Copper Dad:

Nope, I got group 1 that day

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
You have other groups than just us!

 

Copper Dad:

Joey Graceffa this chat is literally called D&D group 3

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I can’t read okay

JOEYGRACEFFA:
Okay but who do I have to take care of so we have sole, Pixl dm rights

 

Copper Dad:
Group 1 is just Zloy, and his friends, Lyarrah and Silent

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Okay, I can’t get rid of Zloy he’d be too hard to lock in a room

 

Copper Dad:

Please don’t try to capture my best friend

 

Daddy fWhip:

What goes on in that group?

 

Copper Dad:

It’s usually just those three trying to take over the world

 

Daddy fWhip:

What now?

 

Copper Dad:

Yeah the most recent campaign had Zloy trying to take over the economy with a cryptocurrency called Dumm

Copper Dad:

Sometimes Zloy’s other friends join the campaigns, like Tizz who’s a fox with pink eye and keeps giving poo as presents to npcs

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Okay that seems too chaotic for me to mess with, what about Group 2

 

Copper Dad:

Let’s see, Group 2 is made of ImpulseSV, Mumbo Jumbo, Pearlescent Moon, GoodTimesWithScar, and Grian

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
PEARL! Why do you get Pixl twice a week

 

Duck Mom:

Oh yeah, I signed up twice. I didn’t think Pixl would let me

 

Copper Dad:

I added in the numbers to the group chat before I actually checked

Copper Dad:

And  i was too awkward to tell her to leave

 

Duck Mom:

And I’ve had the time of my life playing D&D with both groups

Duck Mom:

I have to say, I am enjoying this moon arc

 

Copper Dad:

Thank you, PearlescentMoon

Copper Dad:

When I told Zloy about it, he told me “You’re just reusing the moon arc from our session” but It’s different

 

Duck Mom:

Well…

 

Copper Dad:

Pearl, I swear

 

Duck Mom:

Fine, but I can’t wait for Mumbo to go crazy again

 

Copper Dad:

Yeah he started off as an artificer and then he subclassed to druid and now he decided to invest in warlock to steal souls. I don’t know what he’s doing anymore

 

Daddy fWhip:

Can I join, I just want something to do after school

 

Duck Mom:

I don’t see why not

 

Copper Dad:

You play pretty close to Grian, so I’m pretty they’d appreciate another explosives buddy

 

Duck Mom:

What if we blew up the moon?

 

Daddy fWhip:

Oh my god Yes

 

Copper Dad:

I can just hear Zloy saying I’m reusing plot points again

Copper Dad:

Also you can join but I think you’ll need to make a new character since your campaigns aren’t really compatible.

 

Daddy fWhip:

Yeah I can do that

 

GeminiTay:

fWhip why do you want to go to D&D on Tuesday, don’t you usually do something

 

Daddy fWhip:

Who do I usually hang out with on Tuesday

 

GeminiTay:
Oh. Proceed then

 

(Tuesday 3:02 PM)

 

Mer-cutio:

Pixl what was “f[redactd] Whip”

 

Copper Dad:

fWhip has requested that I don’t say his actual first name

 

Mer-cutio:

Gem does that mean your name is Gemini Tay Whip?

 

GeminiTay:

Yeah

 

Mer-cutio:

What’s fWhip’s name then

 

Daddy fWhip:

You’ll never know

 

Mer-cutio:

Tell me!

 

Daddy fWhip:

I’ll never tell you

 

Mer-cutio:

If I can guess will you tell me where my crown is

 

Daddy fWhip:

Sure but you’ll never get it

 

Mer-cutio:

Femini Tay

 

Daddy fWhip:

No

 

Mer-cutio:

Fryce

 

Daddy fWhip:

Still no

 

Mer-cutio:

Fwhippediah

 

Daddy fWhip:

Not even close

 

Codvenger:

Fomeo, my one tru love

 

Daddy fWhip:

You got it!

 

Mer-cutio:

Really?

 

Daddy fWhip:

No

 

Mer-cutio:

Fhil?

 

GeminiTay:

Closer

 

Daddy fWhip:

Hey don’t give him hints

 

Mer-cutio:

No please give me hints

 

MythicalSausage:

I know it but I think it’s funnier if you guess

 

Mer-cutio:

I’ll steal your beyblads again Sausage tell me

 

MythicalSausage:

Actually they’re not even on campus anymore so you can’t threaten my babies anymore 

 

Mer-cutio:

Tell me, it’s gotta be really embarrassing for fWhip

 

MythicalSausage:

I would never betray fWhip and Gem

 

GeminiTay: 

Try to find it out on your own Jimmy

 

Mer-cutio:

Oh fine

 

(Tuesday 5:12 PM)

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Pixl why didn’t you tell me that Zloy has a youtube channel

 

Copper Dad:

I don’t actually know much about it

Copper Dad:

All I know is that he has one

 

GeminiTay:

How did you find out?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

The journalism club wanted to do an article about social media and since I have the most followed insta, they decided to interview moi

 

GeminiTay:

What does that have to do with Zloy?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Apparently he has a popular enough channel to be considered instead of me an actual celebrity 

 

ShubbleYT:

You’re a celebrity???

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Excuse me, I was a child actor in a very successful horror series

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

If it was so successful why haven’t you gotten a role recently 

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Hollywood’s rampant degeneracy and mistreatment of child actors

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You saw what they did to Miley Cyrus

JOEYGRACEFFA:

That could’ve been me

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Okay, Hannah

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

My name is Joey?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Anyway what exactly does Zloy do

 

Copper Dad:

I don’t know, he refuses to tell me

Copper Dad:

It’s not even attached to any of his names

Copper Dad:

If I knew how to use computers more, I could probably try to see if there are any popular channels attached to his IP address 

 

GeminiTay:

You can probably get fWhip to do that

GeminiTay:

Actually I was going to ask do you know where he is

GeminiTay:

He hasn’t responded to my texts 

 

Copper Dad:

He actually went to Grian’s house after the session. They wanted to learn how to make potato bombs and fWhip said that he could teach her.

 

GeminiTay:

He must’ve blown up his phone

GeminiTay:

Again

 

Mer-cutio:

You guys are talking about Zloy’s channel?

 

Copper Dad:

Do you know anything Jimmy?

 

Mer-cutio:

Oh yeah he actually invited me to play on a server he admins for or something

Mer-cutio:

Something about supporting smaller streamers

Mer-cutio:

I never actually got back to him because I was really busy with school at the time

 

Copper Dad:

Do you know the name?

 

Mer-cutio:

He actually told me nt to tell peeple

 

Copper Dad:

Zloy you may be my best friend but you are an enigma 

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I bet Zloy isn’t even his real name

 

Copper Dad:

Joey…

Chapter Text

(Tuesday 5:30 PM)

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You could have told me that his name wasn’t actually Zloy

 

Copper Dad:

I thought you knew?

JOEYGRACEFFA:
How was I supposed to know?
JOEYGRACEFFA:

Literally no one calls him anything but Zloy

Copper Dad:

That’s just because everyone already knows

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
I didn’t
JOEYGRACEFFA:
At least your name is actually Pixl

 

Copper Dad:

Joey…

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
AGAIN??
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I know nothing about you guys

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Yeah you can’t think of anyone but yourself

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Oh hollow bone boy is trying to tell me to think about other people

JOEYGRACEFFA:
The guy who has no idea how to deal with his emotions so all he does is run away

JOEYGRACEFFA:

At least I’m trying to learn about other people now

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I’m not the one putting effort into a relationship that will never take off

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
Like you’re putting effort into a relationship at all

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Don’t do this in the group chat

 

Copper Dad:

Let’s not escalate this further

 

Mer-cutio:

Can we please stop fighting

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Fine

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I didn’t even do anything


Copper Dad:

Why do you care so much about Zloy now?

JOEYGRACEFFA:

He took care of me that one time

JOEYGRACEFFA:
You know

JOEYGRACEFFA:
You have to care about the man who nursed you back to health when no one else would

 

Copper Dad:

Joey Graceffa, do you like ZloyXP?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
Who wouldn’t

Copper Dad:

I have to applaud you for your forwardness

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I know what I want

 

Copper Dad:

Understandable have a good day

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Wait you still didn’t tell me his real name

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Or yours 

 

(Tuesday 6:01 PM)

Private message between Jimmy and Scott

 

Jimmy:
Scott what was that think with Joey about

 

Scott:

I don’t know what you’re talking about

 

Jimmy:

Scott

Jimmy:

Scottt

Jimmy:

Scotttt

 

Scott:

Jimmy

 

Jimmy:

Yes, Scott?

 

Scott:

Why do you care so much about this

 

Jimmy:

Becuse I care about you

Jimmy:

And I don’t think provoking another one of our friends

Jimmy:

Is good for you

 

Scott:

Olivia Rodrigo?

 

Jimmy:

Scott please

 

Scott:

What do you want from me

 

Jimmy:

I just want to talk

 

Scott:
Is this the part where you tell me that you don’t want to be friends right

 

Jimmy:

Scott I would never do that

Jimmy:

Im with you all the way

Jimmy:

Tell me whas up

 

Scott:

I’m just kind of jealous of Joey’s confidence

Scott:

He’s not scared of rejection 

Scott:

And I have a deal about asking someone out to homecoming with katherine

Scott:

I’m terrified of asking anyone out and them saying no

 

Jimmy:

Scott, anyone would be lucky to go to the dance with you.

Jimmy:

At least I think so

 

Scott:

Thank you Jimmy, that means so much coming from you.

 

Jimmy:

Np

 

(Wednesday 3:45 PM)

 

Mer-cutio:

Scott are you still up to do the thing on Sunday??

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:
What are you doing on Sunday?

Mer-cutio:

Oh this is the group chat

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Jimmy!

 

Mer-cutio:

What we’re just watching movies together

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Watching movies 👀

Mer-cutio:

Don’t worry Katherine

Mer-cutio:

We’re just watching movies

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

What kind of movies?

 

Mer-cutio:

Were watching different versions of Romeo and Juliet

Mer-cutio:

We watched some last week

 

Daddy fWhip:

Did you watch the one with guns and gang violence

 

GeminiTay:

All of them have gang violence

GeminiTay:

That’s the whole point of Romeo and Juliet

 

Daddy fWhip:

Well this one has guns

 

Mer-cutio:

There's one with guns?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Jimmy we watched that one already

 

Mer-cutio:

We did?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
That was the one with Leonardo Dicaprio

 

Mer-cutio:

I think that was one I feel asleep to

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

You fell asleep?

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Jimmy your eyes were open the entire time

 

Mer-cutio:

Fish people can fall asleep with their eyes open

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

What!

Mer-cutio:
@Eldritch Girlboss can you explain how the eye thing works 

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Fish people have a third eyelid called a nictitating membrane that we use to keep our eyes moist above water and to protect them in water.

Eldritch Girlboss:

Jimmy please learn about your own biology

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Is there anything else I have to know about Fish person biology?????

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Nothin I can say without a parent’s permission

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Interesting I’m actually really curious

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

So about the blowfish and bream

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

blow fish? 👀

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Fun fact about that actually

 

Mer-cutio:

Let’s keep this family friendly please

Mer-cutio

What were we talking about again?

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You were sleeping during the movie

Mer-cutio:

I just got really tired oakay

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

I told you important things and you were asleep the entire time?!

 

Mer-cutio:
You told me important thing???

Mer-cutio:

You can tell me now

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

The moment’s gone

 

Mer-cutio:

Please 👉👈

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

No

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

EMERGENCY!

 

Duck Mom:

Guys we kind of need help

 

Mer-cutio:

O no what happened

 

Scott Elf King of Rivendell:

Huh?

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

?

 

fWhip:

Emergency?

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Do any of you have clothes that will fit shrub?

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

I think Joel is probably closest in height but it would still be big on them

 

Duck Mom:

I think that should be fine for now

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

What happened?

 

Duck Mom:

Shrub and Katherine were visiting the duck pond and then someone pushed her in.

Duck Mom:

I didn’t get a good look at who pushed her in but I thought I heard someone Scottish?

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Interesting. I’ll get those clothes to you right away

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

Thank you so much Lizzie

 

(Wednesday 6:15 PM)

Private message between Theater Nerd and Flower Enjoyer  

 

Theater Nerd:

What happened??

 

Flower Enjoyer:

I was going to tell her that I actually was asking her out to the dance

Flower Enjoyer:
I don’t know hwat to do now

 

Theater Nerd:

Can’t you just ask her now?

 

Flower Enjoyer:

She just almost drowned and I don’t want to spring that on her

Flower Enjoyer:
I’m still really worried about her

Theater Nerd:

You could go check up on her

Theater Nerd:
Someone probably needs to return Joel’s clothes 

 

Flower Enjoyer:

You’re right, I’ll go check up on her.

Chapter 19: Oops No Empires

Chapter Text

(So this is the no empires chapter. If you wanted your irregular fix of highschool au empires check out Gulfie's Nature Wives fic, Coloring Outside the Lines which takes right after the previous chapter and is canon to this chatfic)

(Saturday 3:45 PM)

“Official Homecoming Planning Committee”

 

Xisuma:

Hello planning committee

Xisuma:

After our very successful announcement

Xisuma:

I would like a recap on the events of the week

 

ZloyXP:

Ayy you said it

 

Xisuma:

Just tell me what happened I’ve been missing from the past week

 

ZloyXP:
Right away

 

ZombieCleo:

Zloy’s been typing for 10 minutes and I am terrified

 

joehillssays:

Isn’t that normal for him?

ZombieCleo:

Yeah but it’s a recap for this week

 

ilmango:

It’ll be fine

 

ZombieCleo:

Yeah it’s fine

ZombieCleo:

It’s fine its fine its fine

 

Xisuma:

Are you saying that something isn’t fine?

 

ZombieCleo:

I just said it’s fine, X

 

Zedaph:

That’s just what the government wants you to think

 

Xisuma:

You are quite literally part of the student government Zed

 

Zedaph:

Oh yeah

Zedaph:

That what the other government wants you to think

 

ZloyXP:

Monday October 4-

Zedaph decided to calculate the curve of the world and determined the world isn’t actually flat. Doc tried doing the same thing and learned that the world is “too round”. He hasn’t been seen since.

 

Tuesday October 5-

Ren made a man-shaped hole inside of the student center as he ran to that one homeschooled kid’s house (I think his name is Marten or something? Is it like the animal? I never actually learned his name and at this point I don’t think I can ask anymore. I don’t know what their relationship is but he calls him his “hand” I don’t know what that means.)

Also Bruno had a “house party” in the cafeteria and asked anyone who came for housewarming gifts so I think he lives in the cafeteria now?

 

Wenisday October 6-

Mumbo got stuck in a washing machine and Grian tried to give him cpr

Bdubs in retaliation for last year’s throw short people day gathered the other gnomes to organize a toss tall people day with their first victim being Mumbo who was tossed into a washing machine. No idea where the washing machine came from.

 

Thursday October 7-

During the swim meet the blue haired kid (with pronouns) got a nosebleed and fainted so the junior captain had to carry him to the nurse’s office. Also some red haired robotics kid got stuck in the vents claiming he tripped and fell into the ceiling. I think he was hiding something in there. The junior swim captain also started a war with the robotics kid so now there’s a war between the swim team and the robotics club.

 

Friday October 8-

The journalism club is being criticized for its mass surveillance of the school and due to me being in the student council I am being accused of perpetuating a surveillance state. Cleo spent the entire homecoming budget. Finally Ren ran away to Disneyland.

 

Xisuma:

So a slow week?

 

ZloyXP:

Honestly nothing really happened

 

Xisuma:

Wait what happened to our budget

Xisuma:

Cleo did what?

 

ZombieCleo:

It’s not my fault

ZombieCleo:

Joe said I could

 

Xisuma:

Joe did what

 

joehillssays:

You see spending money helps the economy

 

Xisuma:

Joe we’re high schoolers us spending money will not help the economy to a large degree

 

joehillssays:

It was a lot of money

 

Xisuma:
I know it was a lot of money

 

joehillssays:

Money only has the value that you give it

 

Xisuma:

We needed it for Homecoming

 

joehillssays:

The money is going back to the people

 

Xisuma:

The money would have already gone back to the people in the form of a great night out

Xisuma:

Cleo at least tell me you spent it on something we can use

 

ZombieCleo:

It’s absolutely imperative

ZombieCleo:

I bought a whole lot of mannequins 

 

Xisuma:

What

 

ZombieCleo:

They’re the perfect decoration for any theme we can possibly have

ZombieCleo:

Under the sea? Mannequins dressed up as mermaids

ZombieCleo:

Moulin Rouge? Mannequins dressed in western cloths

ZombieCleo:

Masquerade? Mannequins dressed in masks

 

Xisuma:

I

Xisuma:

Cleo that makes no sense

 

ZombieCleo:

So you don’t trust my decorating skills

ZombieCleo:

Is that what I’m hearing?

 

Xisuma:

Cleo our budget wasn’t just for decoration

Xisuma:

How are we going to pay the DJ

Xisuma:

How are we going to pay for catering

Xisuma:

How are we going to pay for the deposit on these foldable chairs

 

ZombieCleo:

You see my job is head decorator 

ZombieCleo:

That’s not my problem 

ZombieCleo:

That’s Joe’s problem 

 

joehillssays:

As treasurer I take full responsibility of my irresponsibility with our money 

 

Xisuma:

Please tell me we at least made a little money from ticket sales

 

Ilmango:

We’ve made zero sales

 

Xisuma:

Has anyone even signed up to be Homecoming royalty?

 

Ilmango:

Also zero signups

 

Xisuma:

This is a disaster

Xisuma:

If you need me I will be breaking down because Homecoming is in 2 weeks

Xisuma:

Why am I the only one worried

 

ZombieCleo:

This is nothing

ZombieCleo

Out of all people Xisuma you should know this

 

joehillssays:

Yeah we’ve done more with less

 

Ilmango:

It’s work to be done

 

Zedaph:

X we’re hermits after all

 

Xisuma:

Does anyone have any proposals then?

 

ZloyXP:

I think I know how to solve our sign up situation
ZloyXP:

The club registry form actually has a part that requires the clubs to nominate one person to homecoming court

 

Xisuma:

that could work

 

ZloyXP:

I’m so glad I read the terms and conditions

ZloyXP:

Although this probably means that my club will nominate me for it

 

Ilmango:

That proposes the problem, How de we get the clubs to actually nominate people

Ilmango:

There's a reason that no one has really enforced that rule before

 

Zedaph:

Incentive!

Zedaph:

What if they could win something for the whole club if the nominee got voted homecoming royal

 

ZombieCleo:

It would have to be something that everyone wants

 

Ilmango:

How about money?

 

Xisuma:

We have no money that’s the problem

 

ZombieCleo:

Concert Tickets?

 

Xisuma:

What musician would incentivize our students and could set up a concert here that quickly?

 

joehillssays:

I think I have a solution to that

joehillssays:

I need to contact someone

 

Xisuma:

Okay?

 

(Saturday 4:32 PM)

Private Message from Goe Gills to G-man

 

Goe Gills:

Grian I need a favor

 

G-man:

Joe I’m kinda busy right now

 

Goe Gills:

It’s not really urgent but it sort of is 

 

G-man:

I’m currently in a van being driven by System Zee who’s threatening to drive us off a cliff if Doc keeps swearing

 

Goe Gills:

Why are you in a van?

 

G-man:

Martyn wants to rescue Ren from Disneyland

 

Goe Gills:

So nothing much going on?

 

G-man:

It’s been a slow week, Joe

G-man:

Anyway what favor do you need?

 

Goe Gills:

I need you to set up an Ariana Griande concert and give the student council free tickets to distribute

 

G-man:

That’s a lot Joe, what do I get in return?

 

Goe Gills:

Actually I want to use my Grian IOU

 

G-man:

Fuck

 

Goe Gills:

Grian??

 

G-man:

JOEEEEEEEE

G-man:

I think I just met god

G-man:

She’s a deer

 

Goe Gills:

What happened?

 

G-man:

Zee just swerved and almost crashed us into a lamp post

G-man:

How did he know that I swore

G-man:

Joe I am terrified

 

Goe Gills:

Cool but will you do it?

 

G-man:

Sure I guess, I have to get back to the van group chat

 

(Saturday 4:40 PM)

“The Dog is Not Found”

 

Grilbur:

I am very sorry for swearing in your vicinity 

 

SystemHalo:

You better be young man

 

Dockity:

Yeah Grian, you almost killed us

 

Grilbur:

Doc, if we were on a minecraft server (that Xisuma maintained) I would break into your bank and trash your lovingly made bush and subsequently start a war that I would eventually win even though you would have made a sick diss track produced by Rendog’s brother.

 

Dockity:

It was just a joke, G

 

Marteorge:

I miss my liege so much I’m going to start crying

 

Falsarl:

Someone muffle Martyn so he doesn’t wake up the bees with his crying

 

Mumborpse:

Guys I only packed 3 ties and 2 of them have already been in his mouth

 

Grilbur:

Deal with it Mumbo

 

Isknap:

This van sure can fit a lot of people

 

(Saturday 4:51 PM)

“Official Homecoming Planning Committee”

 

joehillssays:

I am finally back

joehillssays:

I have secured Ariana Griande tickets and a whole concert that we can sell tickets to

 

Ilmango:

In hindsight that should have been the obvious answer

 

ZombieCleo:

Absolutely

 

Zedaph:

What are you guys talking about?

 

Ilmango;

Ariana Griande goes to our school

 

ZombieCleo:

She’s literally just Grian

 

Zedaph:

Absolutely not

Zedaph:

Grian isn’t Ariana Griande, that’s way too obvious for a secret persona

Zedaph:

Grian is literally in her name

Zedaph:

Grian is actually jpop superstar Scottsune Miku

 

Ilmango:

??????

 

ZombieCleo:

Excuse me?

 

joehillssays:

Anyway now we’ve got that problem solved

joehillssays:

What else do we have

 

Xisuma:

We have two weeks left to plan, announce, execute, and pay for the dance

 

ZombieCleo:

I have the perfect solution to that

ZombieCleo:

We hold Homecoming 1 week later

ZombieCleo:

On October 30th the day before halloween

 

Ilmango:

Interesting

Ilmango:

We’ll have both more time and the opportunity to theme the dance around halloween

 

ZombieCleo:

Mango is exactly on my wavelength

ZombieCleo:

You know what would be great to decorate a halloween dance with?

ZombieCleo:

Mannequins

ZombieCleo:

Also we can reuse any unused halloween decorations

 

Zedaph:

We can even avoid the race to the crown being a popularity contest by having it be a costume contest

 

ZombieCleo:

It’s good ideas like that that remind me how you got on the council

 

Zedaph:

Why thank you Lady Cleo

Zedaph:

Wait a minute

 

Xisuma:

That sounds like a great plan!

Xisuma:

I’ll send messages to all of the club presidents

 

Zedaph:

Are we just avoiding what Cleo said about me

 

ZloyXP:

I’m actually with the D&D club right now and I want to tell them in person

 

Xisuma:

Go right ahead then, I’ll still send one as a formality

 

ZloyXP:

I can’t wait to hear what they think of the Ariana Griande concert

 

(Saturday 5:04 PM)

“Official Homecoming Planning Committee”

 

ZloyXP:
Good News: fWhip fainted

 

Xisuma:

Lol

Chapter 20: Winterfest part 1

Summary:

Hey this chapter takes place in December while the current story takes place in October. There are certain events that will be hinted in this chapter that have yet to take place. If you don't want to know what happens, you don't have to read this side chapter.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

(Thursday 7:15 PM)

 

Legend of Hotdog:
Happy winterfest eve eve Everyone!

 

Copper Dad:

I see someone’s very excited for the holidays

 

Legend of Hotdog:

I just love it when friends and families get together it’s my favorite time of year

 

Mother of Dragon:

Aww, you’re always welcome at our house Sausage

 

Daddy fWhip:

I think this is the first Winterfest that I’ll actually celebrate with you guys since starting highschool

 

Mother of Dragon:

Oh yeah you spent Hearth’s Warming with Simon’s family

 

Eldritch Girlboss

I didn’t know Simon was practicing

 

Daddy fWhip:

They only celebrate the major holidays

 

Legend of Hotdog:

Well we’re all celebrating together now!

 

Copper Daddy:

I’m just glad Scott’s dads are letting us have a Winterfest party at their house

 

Swinter Swonder:

What can I say? I’m spoiled

 

Cod-daddy:

Yeah! Did you know he has a smart tv in his be room room and a 

 

I’m Actually Very Tall:

We get it you’ve been in his room Jimmy

 

Cod-daddy:

His bed is very comfy

 

Sharpay Evans:

Jimmy, you laid in the bed of another man????

 

Cod-daddy:

Joey you literally run the school’s GSA 

 

Sharpay Evans:

Jimmy, gay jokes are one of the only things i have left

 

Swinter Swonder:

Also after the divorce they won’t stop competing for my love and affection

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

We have to unpack that later

 

Daddy fWhip:

Does everyone have their gifts for the gift swap

 

Swinter Swonder:

Absolutely

 

Legend of Hotdog:

Someone is going to love my gift!

 

Sugar(cane) Daddy:

Got mine and Grian’s got theirs

 

Killed a Man Feeling Good:

They’re going to love mine

 

Eldritch Girlboss:

Yes

 

Mother of Dragon:

I have mine

 

Copper Daddy:

Zloy and I have ours

 

Berry Blast:

I hope they enjoy mine

 

I’m Actually Very Tall:

Eeeyup

 

Sharpay Evans:

Absolutely!

 

Cod-daddy:

Yeah. Yup.

Cod-daddy:

I absolutely have my gift ready

Cod-daddy:

Don’t worry about me

Cod-daddy:

My gift is absolutely ready for the party

 

Daddy fWhip:

Well I’m glad everyone’s got their things in order

Daddy fWhip:

I need to get a status check from the other guests

Daddy fWhip:

Remember the party starts at midnight

 

Legend of Hotdog:

🎉💃

 

(Friday 7:23 PM)

Private message between Scott <3 and Jimmy <3

 

Scott <3:

Jimmy

 

Jimmy <3:

Yes beloved

 

Scott <3:

You don’t have a gift prepared do you

 

Jimmy <3:

No :(

 

Scott <3:

It’s not for me is it?

Scott <3:

Actually don’t tell me

Scott <3:

Wait tell me

Scott <3:

No I shouldn’t know

Scott <3:

I really want to know

 

Jimmy <3:

It isn’t you 

 

Scott <3:

Oh thank goodness

 

Jimmy <3:

I need to get a present for fWhip

 

Scott <3:

Well then

Scott <3:

Well you do have all of tomorrow to get a gift for him
Scott <3:

I believe in you

 

Jimmy <3:

🥰

 

(Friday 8:00 AM)

 

SolidarityGaming created the chat “You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”

 

SolidarityGaming has added Smajor1995 , GeminiTay , MythicalSausage , PearlescentMoon , Grian , MumboJumbo , InTheLittleWood , Pixlriffs , ZloyXP , KatherineEliz , ShubbleYT , SmallishBeans , LDShadowlady , and  JOEYGRACEFFA

 

Smajor1995:

Jimmy I believed in you

 

GeminiTay:

Jimmy this is everyone from the group chat but fWhip

 

ZloyXP;

And then some

 

InTheLittleWood:

I don’t know most of you, Hello

 

Grian:

Hey Martyn!

Grian:

How’s Ren doin

 

InTheLittleWood:

He tried to buy me Australia but it turns out a country is worth more than 7 dollars

InTheLittleWood:

Pearl! I haven’t seen you since primary

 

PearlescentMoon:

It’s great to hear from you

PearlescentMoon:

Are you going to the party too?

 

InTheLittleWood:

Yeah Ren’s taking me

 

SolidarityGaming:

Guys plese

SolidarityGaming:

I need a lot of help

SolidarityGaming:

And I trust all of you

 

Smajor1995:

Jimmy please

 

Pixlriffs:

This is a lot of people

 

SolidarityGaming:

I don’t know what to do

 

MythicalSausage:

You have until midnight, Jimbo

MythicalSausage:

That’s plenty of time

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You can always go the tried and true method of buying him a gift card

 

SolidarityGaming:

That could work

 

KatherineEliz:

Joey did you get your person, a gift card

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I would never stoop so low to give someone a gift card

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I actually put thought and effort into my gifts

 

SolidarityGaming:

Thanks Joey

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Oh

 

GeminiTay:

You’ve known fWhip for a pretty long time, I think you can get a good gift for him

 

MythicalSausage:

Yeah you should know at least two things about him

 

SolidarityGaming:

He likes salmon?

 

GeminiTay:

And?

 

SolidarityGaming:

He likes robots

 

SolidarityGaming:

Where am I supposed to get a salmon robot?

 

MumboJumbo:

Hey Grian doesn’t that sound familiar

 

Grian:

Mumbo you can’t mean

 

SolidarityGaming:

??

 

MumboJumbo:

Yeah that one pizza place

 

Grian:

Cody the Codman and his Marine band???

 

GeminiTay:

That unlocked the worst repressed memory

 

MythicalSausage:

I remember that fWhip loved that place

 

GeminiTay:

I remember how he argued with this one kid over who got to marry the salmon animatronic

 

MythicalSausage:

Oh yeah Sally! 

 

Smajor1995:

His relationship with Simon and Ariana sure make a lot of sense now

 

Grian:

I only wore a salmon mask once okay

 

LDshadowLady:

That’s a lot to unpack

LDshadowLady:

That might be problematic but we don’t have to acknowledge that

LDshadowlady:

Yet

 

MythicalSausage:

I haven’t been there in such a long time

 

MumboJumbo:

It’s because they closed down after too many cases of food poisoning

MumboJumbo:

The building’s still there though

 

SolidarityGaming:

So you’re saying that I should sneak into the abandoned restaurant and take the broken down salmon lady and give that to fWhip?

 

GeminiTay:

Jimmy don’t please

 

ZloyXP:

I am already outside of your house with my lockpick and a glass cutter

 

GeminiTay:

Lizzie, please talk some sense into your brother

 

LDshadowLady:

Stay safe Jimmy, don’t stray too far from Zloy

 

SolidarityGaming:

I will Lizzie

 

Grian:

We’re trespassing? I want to come!

 

ZloyXP:

Grian we’re not trespassing. We’re “Urban Exploring”

 

Grian:

Okay urban exploring, let’s do it

 

Pixlriffs:

I would love to join you but I still need to buy supplies for the party

 

SmallishBeans:

It’s too bad that I’m so good at decorating that I was put in charge of decorations. If I wasn’t so good at decorating I would join the raid too, but I’m too good at decorating.

 

PearlescentMoon:

Yes Mr. “5’3 is technically above average if you take into account that fairies can be 2 inches tall when they want to be, so really average height is much lower than you think it is”

 

Grian:

I’m just glad I’m not the shortest person here

 

ShubbleYT:

Actually I’m the shortest person here

ShubbleYT:

Though to be fair I’m a gnome

 

Grian:

I’m just short

 

SmallishBeans:

No, Grian you’re above average

 

Grian:

Accept being short, Joel

 

ShubbleYT:

Join the short people club

 

Grian:

When the moon crashes into the earth, we’ll be too short for the blast to reach us

 

ShubbleYT:

Join us Joel!

 

SmallishBeans:

No, I'm not short!

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I still have to wrap my present

 

LDShadowLady:

That's going to take you until midnight?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I am very bad at using scissors

 

LDShadowLady:
Joey

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Fine I’ll help decorate too

 

GeminiTay:

I can help with decorations too

 

PearlescentMoon:

Let’s go prepare for the party guys!

 

ShubbleYT:

Oh yeah I still need to bake the cakes

 

KatherineEliz:

I can help you with that!

 

PearlescentMoon:

Speaking of food I need to marinate the roast beast

 

Smajor1995:

Do you guys want to come over to my house and cook the food there?

 

PearlescentMoon:

That sure would beat transporting a whole cooked beast in my car

 

MumboJumbo:

I’d love to help out in the kitchen

 

LDshadowLady:

I’m going to keep an eye on Joel

 

MythicalSausage:

I’ll just be in my house eating chips all alone

 

InTheLittleWood:

Sausage wanna join Ren, False and I when we go caroling later. Someone canceled last minute

 

SmallishBeans:

I’m sorry okay

 

MythicalSausage:

Really Martyn?

 

InTheLittleWood:

Just one thing

 

MythicalSausage:

What’s that?

 

InTheLittleWood:

You have to wear a maid dress

 

MythicalSausage:

I get to wear a maid dress!

MythicalSausage:

I’m in

 

(Friday 9:12 AM)

“Yes I do the Cooking”

 

MumboJumbo:

Maybe it was a bad idea for me to be in here

 

Smajor1995:

Don’t worry about it, we have more fridges

 

ShubblyYT:

I still have no idea how you managed to break it

 

MumboJumbo:

I slipped on a puddle okay

 

KatherineEliz:

Your fall broke the ice maker

KatherineEliz:

Now the entire kitchen is covered in ice!

 

MumboJumbo:

I can try to fix the fridge

 

Smajor1995:

I think you should stick to peeling and cutting the vegetables for the soup

 

ShubbleYT:

Yeah you can deal with the potatoes

 

MumboJumbo:

What’s a potato?

 

KatherineEliz:

Oh boy

 

ShubbleYT:

Maybe the fall did more than I thought it did

 

PearlescentMoon:

I’ll get the first aid kit

 

(Friday 10:56 AM)

“Mistletoes”

 

MythicalSausage:

Guys, I think I have a problem

 

RenTheDog:

What’s up dude

 

MythicalSausage:

So I’m about 10 inches taller than Joel

MythicalSausage:

Also Joel might be able to fit in an A cup

MythicalSausage:

But I need at least a D

 

FalseSymmetry:

I don’t think we have another maid dress for you

 

InTheLittleWood:

We can go shopping!

 

FalseSymmetry:

Martyn we got these dresses custom fit for us

 

InTheLittleWood:

What if we went to a tailor?

 

FalseSymmetry:

What tailor could possibly work fast enough to alter a maid dress that much?

 

MythicalSausage:

Actually I think I know who?

 

(Friday 1:24 AM)

“Decorator Division

 

SmallishBeans:

Okay who has the fake snow

SmallishBeans:

I can’t use too much parmesan in a wood chipper

SmallishBeans:

I can’t be the cause of another trash dragon infestation again

 

fWhip:

We were supposed to be using fake snow?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Oh that’s where all these puddles came from

 

fWhip:

Yeah we should probably clean those up before someone trips and falls

 

SmallishBeans:

Jeez fWhip how could you confuse that up?

 

fWhip:

I kind of have a lot on my plate right now.

fWhip:

I’m trying to contact the Dj and have someone pick them up

fWhip:

I have to keep updating Scott’s dads with what’s happening

fWhip:

I’m still getting rsvps

fWhip:

And Sausage just asked me to alter his maid dress so he can go caroling later

fWhip:

How am I supposed to Live Laugh Love in these conditions??

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Yeesh, boy you need to take care of yourself

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You can totally give some of those jobs to someone else

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Like I could definitely be the one talking to Scott’s dads

 

fWhip:

Please don’t hit on any more of Scott’s relatives

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

fWhip please I am a loyal boyfriend

 

fWhip:

I know but

fWhip:

It’s just…

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:
You don’t think I’m responsible do you


SmallishBeans:

Guys focus we still have to decorate the entire backyard

SmallishBeans:

And there they go fighting in the parmesan 

 

(Friday 2:01 pM)

“Baby Sitters club”

 

Pixlriffs:

So how’re your groups doing now?

 

LDShadowLady:

fWhip and Joey are fighting in a pile of shredded parmesan

 

PearlescentMoon:

Again?

 

FalseSymmetry:

What do you mean again?

 

PearlescentMoon:

It’s a very long story

 

Pixlriffs:

Do the decorators need anything from the store?

 

LDShadowLady:

More fake snow probably?

 

Pixlriffs:

How about you, False?

 

FalseSymmetry:

The Mistletoes are about to go caroling but we still don’t have a maid dress for Sausage

 

LDShadowLady:

You don’t have to have a maid dress to go caroling

 

FalseSymmetry:

Who goes caroling without a maid dress?

FalseSymmetry:

That’s crazy

FalseSymmetry:

Anyway can you buy a size 60 D bra

 

Pixlriffs:

Any specific color?

 

FalseSymmetry:

Sausage says red or yellow

 

Pixlriffs:

How’s the kitchen going?

 

PearlescentMoon:

Mumbo hit his head on the fridge and the entire kitchen is covered in ice

PearlescentMoon:

Too much ice

PearlescentMoon:

It’s also not melting

PearlescentMoon:

We’re also out of parmesan

 

FalseSymmetry:

Why not punch the ice into submission?

FalseSymmetry:

Actually I think I have pickaxe on me right now

 

Pixlriffs:

What a great way to break the ice

 

LDShadowLady:

Pix I think Zloy should keep writing your jokes

 

Pixlriffs:

That’s just uncalled for

Pixlriffs:

Wait I haven’t heard from Zloy in a while

Pixlriffs:

@ZloyXP where are you?

 

LDShadowLady:

Oof Now I have to take two idiots to the first aid kit.

 

(Friday 2:30 pM)

“Urban Explorers Crime Guild”

 

Grian:

Oh my god this is so fun!

 

SolidarityGaming:

Grian you scare me

 

Grian:

Well what else am I supposed to do when an animatronic dolphin is chasing after me?

 

SolidarityGaming:

I don’t know?

SolidarityGaming:

I just didn’t expect you to suplex something almost twice your height

 

Grian:

I got a lot of practice from Mumbo

Grian:

How’s Zloy doing?

 

SolidarityGaming:

He’s still trying to find a charger for his phone

SolidarityGaming:

Somehow none of these outlets are working

 

Grian:

Jimmy the codman is coming to your side

Grian:

You better hide

 

SolidarityGaming:

I need to get Zloy to stay in the closet

 

Grian:

That’s not a nice way to talk about queer people, Jimmy

 

SolidarityGaming:

I am dating a man

 

(Friday 3:10 PM)

“You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”

 

Pixlriffs:

@SolidarityGaming @Grian Where’s Zloy he’s not responding to my texts

 

SolidarityGaming:

Sorry his phone ran out of power

SolidarityGaming:

We’ve also been running for our lives

 

Grian:

He’s running for his life

Grian:

I’m fighting robots for the hell of it

 

Pixlriffs:

Excuse me?

Pixlriffs:

Just give one of your phones to Zloy

 

SolidarityGaming:

Sure


SolidarityGaming:

Pixlriffs I’m here

SolidarityGaming:

As Solidarity said my phone ran out of battery

 

Pixlriffs:

What’s happening on your side?

 

SolidarityGaming:

Oh you know
SolidarityGaming:

These robots are activating because they’re haunted by the souls of dead children

SolidarityGaming:

And they’re trying to kill us because they’re confusing us for the person who killed them long long ago

SolidarityGaming:

Or we just activated some kind of anti-theft programming left in their systems

SolidarityGaming:

Did you know that Cody the Codman’s Marine Band had a bear animatronic in it?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Is it hot?

 

SolidarityGaming:

Good question

SolidarityGaming:

Which part of Pix do you find more attractive, his personality or his appearance

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I want to say both

 

SolidarityGaming:

Then yes

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Nice

 

Pixlriffs:

I’m still here you know

 

Grian:

Oops

Grian:

Okay the Codman is strong

Grian:

Almost broke my hand

 

Pixlriffs:

Okay that’s actually getting dangerous

Pixlriffs:

You guys need to get out of there

 

Grian:

But we haven’t even found the salmon animatronic yet

 

SolidarityGaming:

Pix, you’re worrying over nothing 

SolidarityGaming:

We’ve got everything under con

 

Pixlriffs:

Zloy???

Pixlriffs:

Grian???

Pixlriffs:

Jimmy???

Pixlriffs:

Are you still there?

Notes:

Tune in soon for the thrilling conclusion of this Christmas Fic

Chapter 21: Winterfest Part 2

Chapter Text

(Friday 3:10 PM)

“You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”

 

Pixlriffs:

@everyone This is an emergency

 

Smajor1995:

What is happening

 

Pixlriffs:

Jimmy, Zloy, and Grian’s Lives Are In Danger!

Pixlriffs:

We need to rescue them

Pixlriffs:

I need a team to come with me to get them out of a pizza place

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

This sounds utterly ridiculous 

 

Pixlriffs:

Like this is weirder than our last heist?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

You know what that’s completely fair

 

Pixlriffs:

I’m going to need backup

 

Smajor1995:

I’m going

Smajor1995:

I’m worried about Jimmy

 

Ldshadowlady:

I’m going too

Ldshadowlady:

Are you coming too Pearl?

 

PearlescentMoon:

Nah

PearlescentMoon:

Unlike Jimmy, Grian probably doesn’t need too much help

PearlescentMoon:

Also I need to defrost the kitchen

PearlescentMoon:

And cook a roast for 30+ people

PearlescentMoon:

I trust you Lizzie

 

Ldshadowlady:

We’ll bring them back safely for you Pearl

 

PearlescentMoon:

Thank you Lizzie

 

Pixlriffs:

That’s 3 people

Pixlriffs:

We need more


KatherineEliz:

I can’t either

KatherineEliz:

There’s too much food we need to prepare

 

ShubbleYT:

Ditto

 

MumboJumbo:

Ill go

MumboJumbo:

I could help with the animatronics

 

Pixlriffs:

I need more people

 

GeminiTay:

Pix I think it would be best if some of us stay

GeminiTay:

If too many people leave, then fWhip might get suspicious 

 

Pixlriffs:

Our friends lives are in danger

 

GeminiTay:

Pix all we know is that they’re lost in an animatronic pizza place

GeminiTay:

It might not even be that serious

GeminiTay:

Their phones could have just ran out of battery

 

Ldshadowlady:

That’s true Jimmy forgets to charge his phone a lot

 

PearlescentMoon:

So does Grian to be fair

PearlescentMoon:

A lot of us still need to set up for the party

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Doesn’t Zloy have friends you can call?

 

Pixlriffs:

Silent and Lyarrah?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Yeah

 

Pixlriffs:

I could but they’re still driving back to town today

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I had to get a gift for Lyarrah and she’s horrible to shop for

 

Smajor1995:

Joey!

Smajor1995:

It’s supposed to be a secret santa

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Well she’s not here

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I asked Zloy and he was really helpful

JOEYGRACEFFA:

So I want to help him

 

Pixlriffs:

That’s very noble of you

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I’m also getting very fed up with fWhip

 

Pixlriffs:

There it is

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

I’m still doing this for mostly Zloy

JOEYGRACEFFA:
He went with me to a build a bear for my gift

JOEYGRACEFFA:

So I wouldn’t look sad and lonely

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Shopping alone at a build a bear

 

Pixlriffs:

Okay I’ll pick up everyone from Scott’s house 

 

Ldshadowlady:

Aye aye captain

 

Smajor1995:

Sure Pix

 

MumboJumbo:

Right away

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Yes daddy

 

Pixlirffs:

Joey…

 

MythicalSausage:

I still need my bra, Pix!

 

Pixlriffs:

I’ll leave it and the parmesan with Pearl

 

SmallishBeans:

Why does Sausage need parmesan to be a maid?

 

Pixlriffs:

That’s your parmesan you fool

 

SmallishBeans:

Oh yeah

SmallishBeans:

I think we might need more

 

Pixlriffs:

Fine

Pixlriffs:

I’ll pick everyone up after I get more cheese

 

SmallishBeans:

Wooo

 

(Friday 3:40 PM)

“Party Prep inc.”

 

PearlescentMoon:

@SmallishBeans Pixlriffs just dropped off your parmesan

 

SmallishBeans:

Nice

PearlescentMoon:

Don’t use too much or more trash dragons will appear

 

SmalishBeans:

I promise I won’t

 

GeminiTay:

Trash dragons aren’t that bad

 

KatherineEliz:

Do we have to remind you what happened

 

GeminiTay:

No I was there

 

ShubbleYT:

Oh yeah how’s Hope by the way?

 

GeminiTay:

Oh she’s doing great

GeminiTay:

fWhip can you ask Scott’s dads if I can bring her over later

GeminiTay:

We might need her for whatever Joel is doing

 

fWhip:

Sure

fWhip:

But why did Scott, Lizzie and Joey just leave with Pix

 

SmallishBeans:

Don’t forget about Mumbo

 

GeminiTay:

Well

 

fWhip:

That doesn’t make it better?

fWhip:

Also why isn’t Jimmy here?

fWhip:

He would never miss an opportunity to go to Scott’s house

fWhip:

If anything I would have expected him to already be here when we arrived

 

SmallishBeans:

Who’s to say that he wasn’t already here?

SmallishBeans:

Maybe he’s in Scott’s room right now

SmallishBeans:

With Scott

Smallish:

And Lizzie, Joey, and Mumbo

 

fWhip:

What

 

GeminiTay:

Don’t listen to Joel

 

KatherineEliz:

Yeah Jimmy’s just been doing aquarium maintenance 

KatherineEliz:

You know how he stress buys fish from the pet store

KatherineEliz:

He’s got a lot of fish tanks to change the water of

 

fWhip:

Yeah sure

fWhip:

What about the rest of them

 

PearlescentMoon:

That’s actually where the rest of them went

PearlescentMoon:

To pick up Jimmy

 

fWhip:

Do you really need 5 people to pick up one person

 

PearlescentMoon:

They’re also getting a new fridge

PearlescentMoon:

You know because Mumbo broke it

 

fWhip:

Okay then

fWhip:

I know you’re lying

fWhip:

But I don’t have enough time to worry about it

fWhip:

Can someone that can drive pick up the dj later

 

ShubbleYT:

I can pick them up

 

fWhip:

I meant more someone who can drive a car

 

ShubbleYT:

Oh fine

 

SmallishBeans:

I have a car

 

fWhip:

I’ll send you the address

 

(Friday 3:57 PM)

Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs , Ldshadowlady , Smajor1995 , MumboJumbo , and JOEYGRACEFFA

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Uh, hello? Hello, hello? Joey Graceffa speaking. Who is this?

 

Pixlriffs: Joey we’re literally in the same room

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: I’m sorry I have phone manners

 

Pixlriffs: Joey do you remember the plan?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Of course I do. I brought these cat heads for a reason. Mambo you know the reason

 

MumboJumbo: My name is Mumbo also why do you have a tiger costume?

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Why don’t you have a tiger costume? That’s so cringe, not owning 5 big cat costumes

 

Smajor1995: Why do I have to wear this again?

 

Pixlriffs: Well I looked it up online. These animatronics seem to detect faces, so if we wear some kind of face covering they won’t be able to detect any people in here

 

Ldshadowlady: So why not just wear normal masks?

 

Pixlriffs: Because that’s not as fun

 

MumboJumbo: What

 

Smajor1995: Wha

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: See this is why the rest of you are cringe, Pix gets it

 

Pixlriffs: I mean come on. We’re breaking into a fish themed restaurant wearing cat heads. What part of that isn’t funny?

 

Ldshadowly: I think you should stick to Zloy writing your jokes

 

Pixlriffs: Fine, but I’m taking the lion head

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: I call tiger

 

Smajor1995: Just give me the snow leopard

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Lizzie you can have the mountain lion and I guess Mumbo can have the cheetah

 

Ldshadowlady: No I’m taking the cheetah, I’m not letting anyone have the opportunity to call me a cougar. 

 

MumboJumbo: This is fine

 

Pixlriffs: Remember the plan we split up so we can cover as much ground as possible and we keep the call going so we can update each other constantly, I’ll go alone and then we can have teams of two

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: I call Mumbo!

 

MumboJumbo: Why are you so enthusiastic

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: I wanted to go with Pix but you’re the next best option I don’t want to deal with Scott or Lizzie right now

 

Smajor1995: What does that mean

 

Ldshadowlady: Excuse me

 

 JOEYGRACEFFA: Like I expect a sarcastic remark from you every so often but you’re being oddly quiet and Lizzie’s got this killer look on her

 

Smajor1995: Well sorry for being worried 

 

Ldshadowlady: You’ve seen Jimmy he’s kind of helpless

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit. Like yeah I saw him be attacked by a raccoon and almost get rabies but that’s not the point. The point is he didn’t get rabies and I haven’t seen him be attacked by a raccoon ever since

 

Smajor1995: That doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in someone Joey

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Well that is your boyfriend and your brother you’re talking about so remember that

 

Ldshadowlady: Okay you might be right 

 

Pixlriffs: Everyone remember keep your wits about you and let’s go on

 

(Friday 4:18 PM)

“Mistletoes”

 

MythicalSausage:

I just picked up the maid dress and bra from Scott’s house and it just fits

MythicalSausage:

It also smells a lot like cheese

 

InTheLittleWood:

Caroling is about to start soon

 

InTheLittleWood:

Just meet us in the park

 

RenTheDog:

We’re starting in the south side

 

FalseSymmetry:

Does everyone have their weapons ready

 

MythicalSausage:

What

 

(Friday 4:40 PM)

Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady, Smajor1995, MumboJumbo, and JOEYGRACEFFA

 

MumboJumbo: Help Joey’s just been singing “I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time” under his breath this entire time

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: No I wasn’t

 

MumboJumbo: That’s what it sounded like

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Trust me those weren’t the lyrics I was singing ;)

 

Smajor1995: What the heck was that sound

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: A semicolon and and a closed parentheses 

 

Pixlriffs: Anybody have any updates?

 

Ldshadowlady: Scott and I found an electronic lock in what I think is the east wing of the arcade.

 

Smajor1995: I’m trying to hack into but this might be above my experience level

 

Ldshadowlady: I hear something coming from inside

 

Pixlriffs: Just wait until Mumbo or I can get to you 

 

Ldshadowlady: We’ll try to hide until we see you. But you should be careful, codman seems to be blocking off the entrance of the arcade

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Guys I just found a security badge! It was on this sticky pile on the floor. Oh it’s underneath a box propped up with a stick and oh nice. Guys I got a chunk of cheese!

 

???: Are you lost? 

 

MumboJumbo: Joey keep it down

 

???: Your family is looking for you. 

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Mumbo!

 

???: Your parents want you to follow me.

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Take the badge!

 

Pixlriffs: Guys what’s happening?

 

MumboJumbo: Joey!

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: It’s got my wing! Ow Ow

 

???: Don't worry, you're safe with me.

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: Mumbo run!

 

JOEYGRACEFFA has left the call

 

Ldshadowlady: Joey…

 

Mumbo: The cheese got him

 

(Friday 5:20 PM)

“Party Prep inc.”

 

PearlescentMoon:

The roast has finally started cooking 

 

KatherineEliz:

Woo ╰(*°▽°*)╯

 

fWhip:

It smells amazing so far

 

ShubbleYT:

The cake is also done and just needs decorating

 

KatherineEliz:

Oh I love decorating cakes

KatherineEliz:

I could use some help making enough icing though

 

ShubbleYT:

I’d be happy to help, sweetie

 

KatherineEliz:

(❁´◡`❁)

 

fWhip:

That sounds good but what’s up with the expanding puddle of ice coming from the kitchen

 

PearlescentMoon:

I just decided to ignore it

 

ShubbleYT:

I think it brings the place together

 

SmallishBeans:

There is no ice in Scott’s house

 

fWhip:

I think this might be a problem

 

(Friday 6:15 PM)

“Mistletoes”

 

MythicalSausage:

When you invited me to go caroling I didn’t expect the hunger games

 

RenTheDog:

What did you think caroling meant?

 

MythicalSausage:

You know singing songs and stuff

 

Falsesymmetry:

That’s because C.A.R.O.Ling is actually an acronym

 

InTheLittleWood:

Community Action Roleplay Of L-somethING

 

MythicalSausage:

What does the L stand for?

 

InTheLittleWood:

No one remembers

 

RenTheDog:

I’m pretty sure it was probably a place

 

Falsesymmetry:

Where are you right now?

 

MythicalSausage:

I’m currently in a tree

MythicalSausage:

I may only be 6 feet tall but I am a thicc 6 feet

MythicalSausage:

I don’t think this tree can carry me for much longer

 

Falsesymmetry:

Is there anyone around you?

 

MythicalSausage:

There’s a tall kid who looks like Joey from a distance holding a box beneath me

MythicalSausage:

He looks like he drinks half and half

 

RenTheDog:

You know the toy crossbow we gave you

 

MythicalSausage:

Yeah?

 

Falsesymmetry:

Aim for the head

 

MythicalSausage:

Okay…

 

MythicalSausage:

He fell face first into the snow

 

RenTheDog:

Sausage grab the box and get out of there!

 

MythicalSausage:

Guys he’s not moving anymore

 

Falsesymmetry:

He’s just acting dead

 

MythicalSausage:

I don’t think he’s breathing

 

InTheLittleWood:

He’s a really good actor

 

FalseSymmetry:

Just run

 

MythicalSausage:

Okay

 

(Friday 6:50 PM)

Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady, Smajor1995 and MumboJumbo

 

Smajor1995: That was a bust all we found were some tapes

 

Ldshadowlady: We need to find Joey

 

MumboJumbo: Were there any keys?

 

Ldshadowlady: I found a security watch

 

MumboJumbo: Oh, anything weird about it?

 

Ldshadowlady: It’s got access to the Cameras!

 

Pixlriffs: Brilliant!

 

MumboJumbo: Do you see anything?

 

Ldshadowlady: One of the cameras is broken but the microphone is working. I think I hear singing?

 

Smajor1995: What are they singing?

 

Ldshadowlady: Something explicit

 

Pixlriffs: Joey!

 

MumboJumbo: Joey!

 

Ldshadowlady: I’m trying to see if anyone is close enough to it. Mumbo go to your right you’re like a few paces away from it

 

MumboJumbo: oh I hear it

 

???: Hey kid come on out. We’re only trying to help

 

Ldshadowlady: Mumbo hide

 

MumboJumbo: What??

 

Ldshadowlady: Axolotl animatronic 6’o’clock

 

MumboJumbo: I don’t know how to read analog

 

Ldshadowlady: Just hide

 

???: I bet you don't have friends

 

MumboJumbo: That’s just rude

 

Ldshadowlady: Mumbo grab the golf club right next to you

 

???: I heard that

 

MumboJumbo: okay

 

loud bashing sound

 

???: My face. My FAcE. MY FACE AAHGH!!!!

 

Ldshadowlady: Now Run!

 

MumboJumbo: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

???: *growls* GIve me back my eyyyyeeeees!! 

 

MumboJumbo: No Get away!

 

???: On your marks get set go !

 

MumboJumbo: She’s catching up

 

???: I’m the best! Nobody will miss you!

 

MumboJumbo: Get off of m-

 

MumboJumbo has left the call

 

(Friday 7:35 PM)

“Mistletoes”

 

Falsesymmetry:

Sausage get in the sleigh!

 

MythicalSausage:

There’s a sleigh??

 

Falsesymmetry:

Yeah the one driven by wolves

 

MythicalSausage:

That’s just Ren driving a van

 

Falsesymmetry:

He’s an actor

 

RenTheDog:

I actually have ¼ wolf blood from my mother’s side

 

InTheLittleWood:

What’s the rest?

 

RenTheDog:

You know some boerboel some poodle and I’m pretty sure I got some corgi

 

Falsesymmetry:

Get off the phone while driving

 

InTheLittleWood:

How’s the other teams going

 

Falsesymmetry:

3 of ten teams have already gone down

 

MythicalSausage:

Guys I see the green team running for us

 

Falsesymmetry:

They’re coming for revenge.

Falsesymmetry:

Ren speed up!

 

(Friday 8:01 PM)

“Party Prep inc.”

 

fWhip: 

Okay a few more hours till the party starts

fWhip:

Status on the food?

 

PearlescentMoon:

The roast is cooking on time

 

ShubbleYT:

Cakes and cookies have been decorated

 

KatherineEliz:

And they’re chilling in the kitchen

 

fWhip:

Status on the decorations?

 

SmallishBeans:

Decorations have been completed

SmallishBeans:

I just need to finish the ice sculpture 

 

fWhip:

When was the ice sculpture part of the plan?

 

SmallishBeans:

When the ice decided to freeze the fountain

 

fWhip

It did what now??

 

fWhip:

Gem status on the ice????

 

GeminiTay:

Well it’s cold

 

fWhip:

What

 

GeminiTay:

It’s also taking over the entire house

 

KatherineEliz:

Yeah me and Shrub are currently huddling together in the guest room for warmth

 

ShubbleYT:

Yup the door was frozen over with ice

ShubbleYT:

At least Katherine’s pretty warm

 

PearlescentMoon:

Also the roast is cooking but the door is also sealed with ice

 

fWhip:

Scott’s dads trusted me and now this is happening

fWhip:

How am I supposed to deal with this

 

GeminiTay:

I’ve been trying to use fire magic on it this entire time and even then it’s not melting

GeminiTay:

You’re going to have to tell Mr. Smajor and Mr. Crew

 

fWhip:

Do I really?

 

GeminiTay:

Yes

 

fWhip:

Okay..

 

fWhip:

By the way Joel, you’re going to have to go pick up the Dj

fWhip:

I just sent you the address

SmallishBeans:

But the Ice sculpture

 

(Friday 8:43 PM)

Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady, and Smajor1995

 

Pixlriffs: Guys we have less than an hour and a half till the party starts

 

Ldshadowlady: And we’ve lost 5 people. This is such a good day we’re having

 

Smajor1995: Guys I think I have a plan. You have to let the codman get me

 

Ldshadowlady: Scott we still don’t know if my brother is dead yet

 

Smajor1995: Not like that. It’s just we haven’t seen Sally or Axel since they got Joey and Mumbo. I think they might be knocked out

 

Pixlriffs: Oh. So if Cody gets you you can pretend to get knocked out

 

Ldshadowlady: And you can send a message to us when you see the others

 

Smajor1995: Just tell me where to go with the watch

 

Ldshadowlady: Good luck.

 

Smajor1995: I want him back

 

Ldshadowlady: He seems to be near the main stage

 

Smajor1995: Oh I know exactly where that is

 

~~~~

 

Smajor1995: I see him

 

Ldshadowlady: approach carefully

 

???: Don’t be scared

 

Smajor1995: You know he’s a lot bigger in person

 

???: We’re only trying to help you

 

Smajor1995: He’s approaching really fast

 

Pixlriffs: Remember just go limp

 

???: Where you going?

 

Smajor1995: Guys help I’m a coward

 

???: Run run run! You can hide, but you can’t hide!

 

Ldshadowlady: Remember you’re doing this for Jimmy

 

Smajor1995: fine. HEy b-Big guy Over here!

 

???: Game over Kid!

 

Smajor1995 has left the call

 

Ldshadowlady: Now what do we do?

 

Pixlriffs: Now we just wait

 

(Friday 9:12 PM)

Private message between fWhip and Alinar Smajor

 

fWhip:
Mr. Smajor we may have an accident

 

Alinar Smajor: 

fWhip we trusted you

Alinar Smajor:

What happened?

 

fWhip:

Ice is taking over from the entire house?

 

Alinar Smajor:

Oh is that all?

 

fWhip:

What do you mean is that all?

fWhip:

Two of my friends are stuck in your guest room

fWhip:

The entire kitchen is frozen

fWhip:

You don’t have a fountain anymore

fWhip:

It’s an ice sculpture of a deer

 

Alinar Smajor:

This happens every year

Alinar Smajor:

You see whenever Scott’s cousin visits they turn the thermostat to “Eternal Winter”

 

fWhip:

What

 

Alinar Smajor:

He’s such a little prankster

Alinar Smajor:

He takes a lot after his great uncle than his grandfather.

 

fWhip:

What should I do then?

 

Alinar Smajor:

Just turn up the thermostat and everything should no longer be icy.

 

fWhip:
Thank you so much sir

 

Alinar Smajor:

Have fun at the party

 

(Friday 9:20 PM)

Private message from Smajor1995 to Ldshadowlady and Pixlriffs

 

Smajor1995:

Check Joey’s twitter

A twitter post by Joey Graceffa stating "Celebrating Winterfest eve with real Ariana Grande, my youtube friends Dream and Solidarity Gaming, and my ex boyfriend Wilbur Soot

an image of a twitter reply of "Consumer of Rocks" asking "What are you guys having?" and Joey Graceffa telling them "Wilbur took us to a Pizza Place. This is why we broke up."

(Friday 9:21 PM)

Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady

 

Ldshadowlady: What the heck

 

Pixlriffs: really

 

Ldshadowlady: Wait there’s a location pinned in the replies

 

Pixlriffs: Joey's a genius these are his exact coordinates! Let’s go!

 

(Friday 9:32 PM)

“You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”

 

SolidarityGaming:

Gift acquired!

 

Grian:

That was awful

 

ZloyXP;

At least my phone is charged now

 

Pixlriffs:

That was exhausting

 

GeminiTay:

I’m glad you guys are safe

 

PearlescentMoon:

Can someone explain what happened?

 

KatherineEliz:

Yeah can someone give us a recap?

 

ZloyXP:

Normally I would give you a recap but I am too tired for that

 

JOEYGRACEFFA: I can give a recap with some help

 

JOEYGRACEFFA has added WilburSoot

 

WilburSoot: Hello

 

Smajor1995: Ugh

 

WIlburSoot: That was rude

 

Smajor1995: Says the person who kidnapped my boyfriend

 

WilburSoot:

Excuse you I didnt kidnap your boyfriend

WilburSoot:

I had a pizza party with friends

 

KatherineEliz:

Does anyone want to explain who this is?

 

WilburSoot:

I’m Joey’s fake ex-boyfriend

 

ShubbleYT:

What

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Oh yeah

JOEYGRACEFFA:

We had the same agent

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Oh yeah how is Nicholas

WilburSoot:

He’s an absolute saint

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

That’s goood to hear

 

Ldshadowlady:

Joey keep explaining

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Early on in his career our agent wanted to get his name out there so he wanted to cause some ripples by saying that he and I were dating and then after a while I wanted to get out of the spotlight so we staged a realistic breakup and now we’re friends who talk on twitter occasionally

 

KatherineEliz:

I still don’t think that explains why you were kidnapping our friends

 

WilburSoot:

I was lonely

WIlburSoot:

Sometimes hanging out with fish animatronics can’t replace the void in your heart for companionship

 

ShubbleYT:

I completely understand

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Though that still doesn’t explain why you’re in town?

 

WilburSoot:

Oh you know I was hanging out with your brother

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

Stop saying that I’m related to your friend Randy

 

WilburSoot:

His name isn’t Randy

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

It’s Ran something. Anyway he looks like he drinks half and half

 

WilburSoot:

See this is why we broke up

 

JOEYGRACEFFA:

We were never really dating

 

SmallishBeans:

Oh hey you guys are at the same place the DJ is at

 

WilburSoot:

Surprise?

 

(Friday 9:57 PM)

“Mistletoes”

 

MythicalSausage:

Sorry I made you guys lose the games

 

Falsesymmetry:

Hey there’s no losing in these games

 

InTheLittleWood:

Yeah there’s only people that had fun and those that didn’t

 

MythicalSausage:

I mean we only made it 6th out of 10

 

RenTheDog:

Those green guys really did a number on us

RenTheDog:

But it still was a fun time

RenTheDog:

Do you wanna join us next time?

 

MythicalSausage: 

Now I know what’s going on I think I’ll know for next time

MythicalSausage:

I would love to join

 

InTheLittleWood:

Wooo!

 

(Saturday 12:00 AM)

Transcripts of various gift exchanges at the party

 

Mumbo: I’m sorry about this gift

Silent: Me too, I couldn’t think of anything else

Mumbo: Oh my goodness, a potato

Silent: You also got me a potato too

Mumbo: This is the best gift I could ever get

Silent: I think I love you

Mumbo: *bites lip*

 

Katherine: I got you this

Shrub: Katherine I love it!

Katherine: I sewed it myself

Shrub: It’s a beautiful little wolf

Shrub: I wish I got you a gift but I’ll give you this instead
Shrub: *kisses Katherine

Katherine: Don’t look at me!

Shrub: I love you!

 

Shrub: Sausage I got you leather jacket

Sausage: How do I look?

Shrub: Leather jacket on a maid dress is such a strong look for you

Sausage: Every look is a strong look on me!

 

Sausage: I got you your own crown!

Joey: Sausage I love it

Sausage: You know now you can feel like the king of the world whenever you want

Joey: I love it even more

Sausage: So I’m sorry about what happened with your ex

JoeyYou’re such a good friend for helping me through that

Sausage: I think you deserve a lot more than what he could you

Joey: Thank you Sausage. You got to stop crying 

Joey: Because when you cry I start to cry

Sausage: But When you cry, I want to cry more

 

Joey: Lyarrah!

Lyarrah: Yes?

Joey: I got you an entire wardrobe for your teddy!

Lyarrah: Whoa, Joey that’s so thoughtful

Joey: thanks Zloy helped me out a lot with it

Joey: I may not know you very well but I still wanted to give you a good gift

Lyarrah: I love it

 

Grian: What is this?

Lyarrah: A little phone charm

Grian: oh my god there’s a little me in this bottle

Lyarrah: Yeah you can hang it on your phone or put it on a keychain

Grian: Lyarrah I want more of them. I want to mass produce them

Grian: That’s how much I love it

Lyarrah: I even have an ariana version 

Grian: I’m going to keep these to myself, you know how the public gets about bottles

Lyarrah: Oh don’t remind me

 

Grian: Pearl! How do you like my gift?

Pearl: This box sure is heavy

Grian: How are you doing that?

Pearl: Doing what

Grian: You’re shaking it like it’s nothing

Pearl: Why what’s in here?

Grian: I got you a set of weights because you broke your last ones

Pearl: Oh really? 

Grian: I’m going to have to buy a heavier set aren’t I

Pearl: Well you said it, lil bro

Grian: Ahhh

Pearl: It’s still really thoughtful. I love it

 

Pearl: Hey Lizzie I got you this necklace

Lizzie: Oh lovely!

Pearl: Glad you like it

Lizzie: It’s pearls! Just like your name

Lizzie: What lovely wordplay!

 

Lizzie: Ren I am the one with your gift

Ren: What is it?

Lizzie: It is a crown I fashioned out of seashells from the seashore

Ren: I love it so much, I owe you my life

Ren: *kneels* my queen

Lizzie: I would not go that far

 

Joel: I know we don’t talk that much but I did try to think really hard about what to give you

Katherine: It’s a flower pot?

Joel: I know it’s probably really not much-

Katherine: Joel, it's a lovely gift! You even made it yourself. It’s so big too I can fit an entire titan arum in here.

Joel: Thank you Katherine

Katherine: No. Thank you, Joel.

 

fWhip: Don’t you love it?

Joel: I can’t tell what this is

fWhip: It’s a homemade roomba

Joel: A roomba? But where are the knives, fWhip? A roomba needs knives

fWhip: I knew you were going to ask that so step back and watch

Joel: Oh my god it has spring loaded knives!

Joel: fWhip, you’re so handsome!

 

Pixlriffs: This is the 4th time we’re each others gift givers

ZloyXP: Did you rig it again like I did?

Pixlriffs: Of course I did

ZloyXP: I wouldn’t expect anything less

Pixlriffs: Well I hope you enjoy my gift

ZloyXP: Really… Scented candles?

Pixlriffs: What can I say. You reek of death

ZloyXP: Well I got you this chicken plushie

Pixlriffs: Get that demon away from me! So much time wasted for a single block of chicken…

ZloyXP: Hahaha
Pixlriffs: What are you laughing about?

ZloyXP: Oh you know I can’t wait for next year. When I get to give you an even worse gift

Pixlriffs: Merry Winterfest, Zloy

ZloyXP: You too Pix

 

Scott: Merry Winterfest

Jimmy: Merry WInterfest!

Scott: I’m your gift giver!

Jimmy: Oh really? With that package behind you I couldn’t tell

Scott: Hey stop staring at my package

Jimmy: Scott!

Scott: I mean we’re in public right now. If we were in private I-

Jimmy: Scott

Scott: Fine here’s your gift

Jimmy: Yo it’s a fish tank

Scott: Remember when you decided to take me to a pet store on a date to stare at the fish.

Jimmy: Yeah. I remember you enjoyed it as well

Scott: Well that’s when I decided that I love you

Jimmy: Scott… I 

Scott: I mean you don’t have to say it now, I just think it was time and I was juggling over it in my head over whether I should say it now and I know we haven’t been dating for that long but Katherine and Shrub already have plans of going to same college and moving in together and I’m really scared that I’ve been rambling for too long and 

Jimmy: I love you too. What did you have in mind to stock this tank with?

Scott: I thought the pea puffers were pretty cute

 

fWhip: So this is the reason why you couldn’t help today at all?

Jimmy: Yup…

fWhip: Why is he here?

Wilbur: Sup

Jimmy: You see it’s part of the gift

fWhip: And it’s?

Jimmy: I got you Sally the Salmon!

fWhip: From the rundown pizza place that my parents would always take me, Gem, and Sausage to when we were small? 

Jimmy: Here it is

fWhip: Oh my god you actually did it! But those animatronics are really dangerous

Jimmy: I almost died a lot

fWhip: That makes this gift even better! Jimmy, I love it. But why is he here?

Jimmy: Because legally he owns the Pizzeria due to squatters rights and Sally does legally belong to him but since he kidnapped me we decided on a deal so that you guys have shared custody and I don’t call the authorities on him.

fWhip: What

Wilbur: Let’s discuss this privately

Jimmy: Bye fWhip and Wilbur

fWhip: You can’t let him take me! Hey put me down

 

(Saturday 12:30 AM)

“D&D group 3”

 

Legend of Hotdog:

Merry Winterfest!

 

Cod-daddy:

I love my gift so much

Cod-daddy:

But I especially love the person who gave it to me

 

Swinter Swonder:

I love you too 

 

Mother of Dragon:

Hey is it just me or does the Dj look familiar

 

Sugar(cane) Daddy:

I’ve never seen him before

 

Legend of Hotdog:

Wait I think I see it too

 

Mother of Dragon:

Oh my god

 

Legend of Hotdog:

It’s him!

 

Cod-daddy:

Who???

 

Legend of Hotdog:

It’s the kid that always argued over who got to marry Sally the Salmon with fWhip

 

Swinter Swonder:

Wow, what a small world

 

Sharpay Evans:

Oh is that why fWhip dragged Wilbur to a broom closet

 

Mother of Dragon:

They what now???

 

(Saturday 12:31 AM)

Inside the broom closet

 

fWhip: So why did you drag me here

Wilbur: I just want to test you

fWhip: Test me?

Wilbur: I don’t think you deserve her

fWhip: Sally’s not real

Wilbur: Well I’m still testing you

fWhip: Then will you let me leave?

Wilbur: Sure what are the 5 types of pacific salmon

fWhip: easy! Pink, for your pinky. Silver, for your ring finger. King because it’s the biggest. Sockeye because it’s #1. And -

Wilbur: Chum rhymes with thumb

fWhip: Chum rhymes with thumb

Wilbur: You understand me so much

fWhip: I’ve never met someone as passionate about salmon

Wilbur: Our faces are pretty close right now

fWhip: Yeah…

Wilbur: Are we going to fight or make out right now

fWhip: I don’t know

 

(Saturday 12:38 AM)

“D&D group 3”

 

Cod-daddy:

He’s been in the closet for 7 minutes now

 

Swinter Swonder:

@Daddy fWhip what happened

 

Daddy fWhip:

I think I have a boyfriend now?

 

Mother of Dragon:

What??

 

Legend of Hotdog:

Merry Winterfest and to all a happy new year!

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