Chapter Text
(Wednesday 6:00 PM)
Pixlriffs created the chat “D&D group 3”
Pixlriffs has added fWhip, GeminiTay, MythicalSausage, Smajor1995, PearlescentMoon, SolidarityGaming, KatherineEliz, SmallishBeans and LDShadowlady
Pixlriffs:
Hello everyone thank you for signing up for the D&D club. Due to you signing up alone, I have decided to group you all together into one campaign. I know ten people is a lot but I don’t expect everyone to be present during all meetings and Zloy said I couldn’t DM this many people and I have to prove him wrong
Pixlriffs:
Anyway it’s nice to meet you all and I hope we get along.
KatherineEliz:
Im so excited :D
PearlescentMoon:
hello everyone
LDShadowlady:
its great to be here
SolidarityGaming:
Lizzi i didnt know u sined up for this club
LDShadowlady:
joel convinced me it would fun
SmallishBeans:
Jimmy!
SolidarityGaming:
Joel!
SmallishBeans:
Jimmy!!!
SolidarityGaming:
joel!!!!
fWhip:
fWhip!
Smajor1995:
what up sluts!
Smajor1995 has changed their name to Scott Elf King of Rivendell
SolidarityGaming:
Scot!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
eww jimmy
Scott Elf King of Rivendell has changed SolidarityGaming’s name to Mer-idiot
Mer-idiot:
:(
MythicalSausage:
Pixlriffs… my old enemy
MythicalSausage:
I still havent forgiven you
GeminiTay:
Sausage what did Pixl do?
MythicalSausage:
We have deep seated rivalry that goes back ages
Pixlriffs:
We were in the 3rd grade MythicalSausage
MythicalSausage:
You and Zloy stole my beyblade!
fWhip:
that is pretty unforgivable. I completely understand
PearlescentMoon:
Pix how could you!
Pixlriffs:
Peace was fun while it lasted
Pixlriffs:
Anyway first introduce your characters and whether or not you can attend the meeting on Saturday for example
Pixlriffs:
I am Pixlriffs, a human cleric and I can make it to the meeting.
PearlescentMoon:
Im Pearl a half-elf druid and I can make it to the meeting
GeminiTay:
Im Gem, my character is a Satyr Wizard and I can make it to the meeting
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Scott elf sorcerer, and yes i can make it
katherineeliz:
I’m a fairy paladin and I can make it
fWhip:
Tiefling Artificer and I’ll see you there
MythicalSausage:
Human rogue and you’ll see me there
LDshadowlady:
Lizzie Triton Fighter and I can make it
Smallishbeans:
Joel War-forged barbarian and I can make it
Mer-idiot:
Jimmy water genasi bard wait this satrday?
Pixlriffs:
Yes Jimmy.
Mer-idiot:
Oh i have a swm meet that day
KatherineEliz:
Oh no D:
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
of course jimmy is the only one who can’t make it
Mer-idiot:
What is that suposed to meen
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
nothing :/
Pixlriffs:
Don’t worry Jimmy, we can come up with a way for you to catch up next time we meet. Stuff like this is the reason I set up the chat after all
Mer-idiot:
Thaks Pix! :D
Pixlriffs:
See you all Saturday!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
minus jimmy
Mer-idiot:
Hey!!
Chapter Text
(Thursday 3:24 PM)
Pixlriffs:
Bad news @everyone.
Pixlriffs:
The student center is being renovated this Saturday and we will not be able to use the club room for the first meeting. So unless someone else can host, we’re going to have to cancel.
PearlescentMoon:
Wait does that mean the other hermits can’t meet at the student center?
Pixlriffs:
I think it’s just the club rooms that are being renovated so you and Gem should be able to meet the others
KatherineEliz:
The student center isn’t closed, just the club rooms right? We can still have the meeting there
GeminiTay:
Bad idea
PearlescentMoon:
Cant
Pixlriffs:
Absolutely not
KatherineEliz:
:(
GeminiTay:
The student center belongs to the hermits after school. There would be so much chaos, we won’t be able to play.
MythicalSausage:
we can meet in the woods behind the School
LDshadowlady:
We’re not joining your cult, Sausage
SmallishBeans:
Yeah you should join mine
SmallishBeans sent the file jeremy.jpg
(The picture is of a clay sculpture that Joel made. It’s indescribably beautiful)
Mer-idiot:
Im intrested
fWhip:
I can’t tell what it is, but I’m in love
SmallishBeans:
It’s working :)
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
stop trying to make people join your cult
Pixlriffs:
Can we please get back on topic? We need someone to host the meeting. Gem & fWhip?
fWhip:
Nope our parents are having friends over that day
Pixlriffs:
Katherine?
KatherineEliz:
Sorry there’s not enough space
Pixlriffs:
Lizzie?
LDshadowlady:
Jimmy and I can’t host
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
because your house smells like fish?
LDshadowlady:
How dare you!
SmallishBeans:
I like fish <3
LDshadowlady:
Aww <3
LDshadowlady:
But that’s still weird, babe
SmallishBeans:
:(
KatherineEliz:
Oh what about Scott’s house? His dad is crazy rich. His game room can fit like 40 people.
KatherineEliz:
Okay that’s a bit of an exageration but it’s still really big
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
oh yeah i could probably host i would need to set up the game room but that should be fine
Mer-idiot:
I wish I coiuld go
Pixlriffs:
Great! Just dm us your address. This’ll be great
Chapter Text
(Saturday 12:47 PM)
LDshadowlady has changed their name to Eldritch Girlboss
Eldritch Girlboss sent the file urmissingout.png
(The picture is a selfie of Lizzie in front of a table with ten chairs. Nine of them are occupied by people. Many of them are smiling and laughing but Pixl has his head in his hands)
Eldritch Girlboss:
@Mer-idiot Look we just killed someone
KatherineEliz has changed their name to Killed a Man Feeling Good
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(^_^)
Mer-idiot:
Oh no
Mer-idiot:
Wait wat is that in th empty char
Eldritch Girlboss:
Oh you mean this?
Eldritch Girlboss sent the file scottstinyfriend.png
(the picture is of the chair in between Lizzie and Scott. On the chair is a plush bear wearing a Captain America hoodie, it looks like it’s been taken care of. Scott is turned away from the camera talking to Gem)
Eldritch Girlboss:
We wanted something to represent you, and Scott had the perfect stuffed animal for it
Mer-idiot:
He kept it!
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
You gave him something? o_O
Mer-idiot:
Yeah wen we were at summer camp in middle school. I gav him that bear.
Eldritch Girlboss:
So that's why it looked familiar
Mer-idiot:
I broke my arm and had to go hom eearly. Scott didnt want me to leave so I gave him my my bear so he woldnt cry anymore.
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
That’s so cute (; _ ;)
Eldritch Girlboss:
Sorry Jimmy, we’re starting up again ttyl
Mer-idiot:
Good bi!
(Saturday 1:00 PM)
Scott Elf King of Rivendell deleted 10 messages from "D&D Group 3"
Chapter Text
(Saturday 4:54 PM)
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(≖_≖ ) hmmm
Pixlriffs:
Katherine? Something wrong?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk
Pixlriffs:
Okay then....
Pixlriffs:
That was a great session everyone, we made a ton of progress.
Meaning that @Mer-idiot we’re going to have to set up an adventure for you so you can catch up. When are you free after school?
Mer-idiot:
I can do Monday Pixl. Is it gonna be a solo adventre?
Pixlriffs:
Well if anyone else wants to join they can
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(^o^)／I want to join
SmallishBeans:
Count me in
Mer-idiot:
Lizze can u make it?
Eldritch Girlboss:
Sorry Jimmy, there’s girl’s swim practice that day
Mer-idiot:
Aww :(
Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy we’re in the same car you can’t use those eyes against me
Eldritch Girlboss:
Fine I can join after but I will be very late
Mer-idiot:
Wooo fish squad!
Pixlriffs:
Anyone else interested?
fWhip:
The robotics club has a meeting that day, I can’t make it
PearlescentMoon:
I got to take care of the ducklings for 4h
GeminiTay:
I have a book club on monday
MythicalSausage:
A new student wants to join the occult club and I have to show them the club space
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scott?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Not interested
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(=_=)
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
What is that supposed to mean?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
nothing :/
Pixlriffs:
Okay so we have a party of four. This should be fun. I’ll see you on Monday!
Chapter Text
(Monday 8:54 AM)
Private message between Jimbro and Broel
Jimbro:
Joel I just fond the best thing on te side of the street
Broel:
Jimmy if you found another baked potato, please don’t offer it to anyone.
Jimbro:
It was a perfecly fine potato
Broel:
How many days were you in the hospital again?
Jimbro:
THAT WAS A DIFFERENT THING ENRITELY!
Broel:
Uh huh
Jimbro:
Its not a potato this time
Broel:
Is it a food? I’m kind of hungry I forgot to eat breakfast
Jimbro:
You know what you can find out during D8D today
Broel:
Jimmy, you have to give me food! I’m your brother in law
Jimbro:
Lizzie deer sister you were talking to a cute girl on the way to school and wanted to take her on a date and you want to break up with jeol wow good for you
Broel:
:(
Jimbro:
Oh sorry joel i din’t mean to send you that
Broel:
I’m sorry okay Can I see the surprise now?
Jimbro:
Youll see the surprise later!
Broel:
See you dude o7
(Monday 12:54 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
Hey Scott
Theater Nerd:
Yes Katherine?
Flower Enjoyer:
Something happened
Theater Nerd:
Did a butterfly land on you while you were watering the school garden again?
Flower Enjoyer:
No…
Flower Enjoyer:
There’s this girl
Theater Nerd:
A girl? THERE’S A GIRL!
Flower Enjoyer:
Not like that!
Flower Enjoyer:
Shes just hanging out near the garden
Flower Enjoyer:
She’s staring a fairy ring
Flower Enjoyer:
She’s got this really cute red beanie with white spots on it
Flower Enjoyer:
She looks like a toadstool
Flower Enjoyer:
It’s really cute
Theater Nerd:
She’s really cute?
Flower Enjoyer:
dwsvjhozgasghwv
Flower Enjoyer:
NO! (>_<)
Flower Enjoyer:
Well….
Flower Enjoyer:
I was talking about her hat!
Theater Nerd:
So you wanted to text me about her hat?
Flower Enjoyer:
ughh (￣ー￣)
Flower Enjoyer:
Anyway the bell is about to ring
Flower Enjoyer:
We got to get to class
Theater Nerd:
See ya!
(Monday 3:11 PM)
Private message between Jimbro and Broel
Broel:
Dude where are you? You’re already late
Jimbro:
Sorry my surpise is taking a little long
Broel:
What do you mean?
Broel:
I thought you found it on the street
Jimbro:
Different surprise!
Jimbro:
I had to go drive home to pick it up
Broel:
Oh I see your car let me help you out
Chapter Text
(Monday 4:33 PM)
Private message between LizzBeans and NoDirection
NoDirection:
Girl! Where are you?
LizzBeans:
Oh sorry Joey. I forgot we made plans.
NoDirection:
Lizzie how could you!!!
NoDirection:
Who’s going to eat ice cream and listen to me rant about my ex boyfriend now
LizzBeans:
Joeeyy I’m so sorry
LizzBeans:
Jimmy wanted me to join his first D&D game
LizzBeans:
If you want you can come to the student center and play with us
NoDirection:
What’s in it for me?
LizzBeans:
You can flirt with npcs and kill them if you fail
NoDirection:
Oh I love that! Do I get magic?
LizzBeans:
If you want I think there’s like 5 types of magic users. I think 4 of them are already taken
NoDirection:
What’s the last one?
LizzBeans:
Warlock. It’s basically a deal with the devil kind of thing
NoDirection:
I want to be that one! Let me live my little gay witch dreams Lizzie
LizzBeans:
Let me talk to Pix first. I’m pretty sure he’d say yes
LizzBeans:
You can start getting to school if you want
NoDirection:
Wooo! Witch Time
(Monday 4:45 PM)
Pixlriffs has added JOEYGRACEFFA
Pixlriffs:
@everyone we now have a new member of the group
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Good day everyone!
JOEYGRACEFFS:
I'm Joey the aarakocra warlock
JOEYGRACEFFA sent the file “ havingfunattheclub.png”
(the picture is of Joey in the club room with Jimmy wearing an interesting hat. Katherine Joel Lizzie and Pixl can be seen eating cupcakes while Zloy is trying to dm. Like last picture Zloy has his head in his hands)
PearlescentMoon:
Zloy! What’s he doing there
Pixlriffs:
I roped him into DMing because I wanted to play. He owes me
PearlescentMoon:
I'm so sad I'm not there now. I don't get to mess with him
fWhip:
You guys have cupcakes!
KatherineEliz:
Jimmy brought over a lot! They’re so good
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Speaking of Jimmy. What the heck is that hat
SmallishBeans:
That’s not just a hat, It is the Codfather’s crown!
GeminiTay:
That’s supposed to be a cod?
PearlescentMoon:
What does “Women want me Fish fear me” mean?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen
Mer-idiot:
You’re just jelous that i found it and I get to wear it
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I’d rather see you not wear anything at all
Mer-idiot:
Shut up!
MythicalSausage:
Who cares about that!
MythicalSausage:
Guys I’m still on campus. The person that I was supposed to show around didn’t make it.
MythicalSausage:
I want a cupcake!
fWhip:
Yeah I want one too!
GeminiTay:
Id love one
PearlescentMoon:
Save one for me too!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
They do look well made. One wouldn’t hurt
Mer-idiot:
Made them myself
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Nevermind then
Mer-idiot:
So you don’t want one? :(
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I’ll have one
Mer-idiot:
:D
Chapter Text
(Tuesday 12:34 PM)
Killed a Man Feeling Good sent the file her.png
(the picture is of a girl staring into the distance near the gardens. she's wearing a mushroom styled hat and green overalls)
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scott, she's back!
SmallishBeans:
Oh I know her
SmallishBeans:
She’s in my art class
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Oh no I didn’t mean to send that here
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Please ignore that
SmallishBeans:
I don’t think she has any friends right now
SmallishBeans:
I should invite her to D&D
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
duahevjdis
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scotttfshsj
SmallishBeans:
What’s happening?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scott just walked up to her
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
NOOOO
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
He just told her “I like your shoelaces”
PearlescentMoon:
Scott has a tumblr?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
It’s a secret one
Pixlriffs:
Did she say the thing?
Mer-idiot:
What is happening? What thing?
Pixlriffs:
The response that all tumblr users know
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
She just said “I stole them from the president”
PearlescentMoon:
It happened. It actually happened
Pixlriffs:
This is amazing
Pixlriffs:
You can absolutely Invite her
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
They’re now talking about what fandoms they’re in
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Now they’re adding each other on discord
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
afasvce
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scott how dare you
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
He’s telling her about D&D
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
She sounds really excited
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
i’m adding her
Scott Elf King of Rivendell has added ShubbleYT
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
look, new friend
ShubbleYT:
Hello everyone! My name is Shrub.
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Hi (◠‿◠ ) / ✿
Mer-idiot:
Hello!
Pixlriffs:
I'm the DM it's nice to meet you. Can I please hear about how much experience you have
ShubbleYT:
I've only listened to a few podcasts but I really want to learn
Pixlriffs:
I’m free today, @ShubbleYT would you like to have a mini-session for you to make a character?
ShubbleYT:
Yes please also I already have a character in mind if you don’t mind
ShubbleYT:
I want to be a gnome ranger
Pixlriffs:
Brilliant! Does anyone else want to join Shrub to help her begin?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I can make it
fWhip:
I can come this time
GeminiTay:
Me as well
MythicalSausage:
Let's goo!!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
katherine?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I can’t make it (:_;)
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
oh no who could have seen this coming
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
(｀^´)
Pixlriffs:
Well see you after school
Chapter Text
(Wednesday 7:42 AM)
MythicalSausage:
Hey Jimmy check what I have
MythicalSausage sent the file WorldsGreatestMP3player.jpg
(a picture of a green mp3 player with a cod sticker on it. There is only one song on it)
Mer-idiot:
Susage how did you get that!
MythicalSauasge:
You left it in the clubroom
Pixlriffs:
You still have an Mp3 player?
Mer-idiot:
I’ve had it since midle school and Give it back!
MythicalSausage:
You have only one song on it
Mer-idiot:
It’s a good song!
MythicalSausage:
It’s Angel with a Shotgun
Mer-idiot:
It’s a good song
Mer-idiot:
scott can vouch for me!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
i will not
Mer-idiot:
What about summer camp
Mer-idiot:
Remember how I would sneak into your bed and we’d listen to it together
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
That’s so cute
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
If I say it’s a good song, will you promise not to bring summer camp up again
Mer-idiot:
No promisis
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
then i guess it's a bad song then
fWhip:
I don’t know Katherine, is it really that cute for two kids to be listening to Angel with a Shotgun
MythicalSausage:
It gets worse
MythicalSausage:
It's The nightcore version!
fWhip
It got so much worse
SmallishBeans:
It’s a good song!
Mer-idiot:
It’s a good song!
Mer-idiot:
Joel You have my back
SmallishBeans:
I’ll always have your back bro
Mer-idiot:
Bro :,)
SmallishBeans:
Bro ;)
Mer-idiot:
Bro <3
SmallishBeans:
Bro <3
GeminiTay:
Lizzie what’s happening?
Eldritch Girlboss:
They do this a lot. I think they’re flirting?
Eldritch Girlboss:
I swear if Joel met Jimmy first, I would be the one calling him my brother-in-law
SmallishBeans:
It’s true I love your brother
Eldritch Girlboss:
See what I mean
Mer-idiot:
I love you too bro
SmallishBeans:
You’re my whole world bro
Mer-idiot:
Bro
SmallishBeans:
Let’s break into Sausage’s locker and get your mp3 back Bro
Mer-idiot:
Le’ts do it Bro
Eldritch Girlboss:
The bell’s about to ring, you still have to go to class.
Mer-idiot:
Let’s do it afer class!
MythicalSausage:
You guys don’t even know where my Locker is
Mer-idiot:
We’ll find it eventually
Chapter Text
(Thursday 7:40 AM)
fWhip:
Jimmy that wasn’t Sausage’s locker
fWhip:
I can’t even get to my stuff
GeminiTay:
What did Jimmy do?
Mer-idiot:
I covred his locker in slime
fWhip:
He covered my locker in slime
fWhip:
You were one locker off
Mer-idiot:
Jeol we were close!
SmallishBeans:
We’ll get Sausage next time
MythicalSausage:
How dare you slime my closest friend!
GeminiTay:
I’m still here Sausage
MythicalSausage:
How dare you slime one of my closest friends!
MythicalSausage:
James Jimmy Solidarity I challenge you to a duel
Mer-idiot:
A hamilton duel?
MythicalSausage:
No
Mer-idiot:
A yugioh deul?
MythicalSausage:
No
Mer-idiot:
A pokemon duel?
MythicalSausage:
No
MythicalSausage:
I See you typing
MythicalSausage:
Let me just tell you the duel format
MythicalSausage:
After today’s session you and I will duel in the most honorable way
MythicalSausage:
We let it rip!
PearlescentMoon:
You want to have a fart battle?
SmallishBeans:
Hah Jimmy and I can win easy
fWhip:
Sausage I don’t want to be your friend anymore
Mer-idiot:
Can I say no to this?
MythicalSausage:
No
MythicalSauasage:
Beyblade!
MythicalSausage:
you know Let it rip
SmallishBeans:
I don’t know what that means
Pixlriffs:
I didn’t know you still have beyblades
MythicalSausage:
Like I would tell you, beyblade thief
Mer-idiot:
I cant fight you I dont have any beyblads
MythicalSausage:
I’ll let you have first pick of my collection
Pixlriffs:
Sausage that’s just the pokemon rival problem
Pixlriffs:
Jimmy’s going to choose choose a random beyblade and then you’re going to choose the one that has an advantage over it
Pixlriffs:
Jimm Choose the attack type and angle your launch to align with the arena so you get the perfect star launch. The beyblade will loop around the arena covering as much area as possible instead of just circling around the edge of the arena. If sausage chooses a defense or stamina type he won’t have a chance against youujilklk
Pixlriffs:
Sorry about that Zloy stole my phone,
Pixlriffs:
but jimmy did you get that
Mer-idiot:
beyblades have tpes?
Pixlriffs:
I’ll give you a crash course after school
MythicalSausage:
Even with Zloy and Pix’s knowledge you’ll never beat me
Eldritch girlboss:
I’ll tell our parents how you died
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You were nice to look at
fWhip:
It was good knowing you Jim
Mer-idiot:
Why do you guys just asume I’m going to lose
SmallishBeans:
Sausage knows what he’s doing
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
why are you all taking this so seriously
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
it’s not like sausage is going to summon the spirit of lighting l-drago and send Jimmy into a coma like what happened to tsubasa in metal fury
MythicalSausage:
elf-boy has taste
Killed a man feeling good:
What the heck Scott
Killed a man feeling good:
Now is the time you want to pull out your beyblade knowledge
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
When else am I going to?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I watched it a lot in primary school okay
ShubbleYT:
I am so lost right now
PearlescentMoon:
I think the most important thing is that Sausage and Jimmy are going to fight
SmallishBeans:
Also Scott is a nerd
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
(-_-)
(Thursday 12:30 PM)
Jonamir Pixel Riffs created the chat “Heist of the year”
Jonamir Pixel Riffs has added Zlonothan Experience
Jonamir Pixel Riffs:
Zloy the time has come
Zlonothan Experience:
Are we doing crime again?
Jonamir Pixel Riffs:
Always, my friend
Jonny Pixel Riffs:
Do you have your lock pick on you
Zlonothan Experience:
Always >:‑)
Jonamir Pixel Riffs has added James Solidarity
Jonamir Pixel Riffs:
I have a plan to make sure you don’t have to battle Sausage
Jonamir Pixel Riffs:
Jimmy meet me and Zloy in the clubroom after school
James Solidarity:
Thank you Pixl I really don’t wan to do it
Zlonothan Experience:
here's the gist of the plan
Zlonothan Experience:
Pix is going to distract Sausage
Zlonothan Experience:
WHile you and I go break into Sausage's locker
Zlonothan Experience:
We get your Mp3 player back and I get that sweet beyblade loot
James Solidarity:
👍
Zlonothan Experience:
then we can threaten him or whatever
Chapter 10
Summary:
The one where Joey tries to flirt and Zloy eats beyblades like oreos
Chapter Text
(Thursday 4:45 PM)
MythicalSausage:
How dare you, Pixl
MythicalSausage:
I should have known that you were as petty as I am
Pixlriffs:
You should really blame Zloy
Pixlriffs:
He’s been wanting a new set of beyblades to chew on
MythicalSausage:
You wouldn’t dare!
Pixlriffs:
Call off the fight Mythical Sausage
MythicalSausage:
You’re bluffing!
MythicalSausage:
That was 3rd grade, you’re seniors now!
Pixlriffs sent heshungry.jpg
(Zloy is sitting at a table in the club room. He has an oreo pack opened but the middle row has been replaced with beyblades. In his hands is a disassembled beyblade about to dip one of the pieces in a glass of milk.)
Pixlriffs:
He’s got a taste for plastic and metal recently
MythicalSausage:
Please no! Not my phantom orion
MythicalSausage:
That’s the rare black and white version
Pixlriffs:
It looks so much like a cookie, Sausage
Pixlriffs:
I don’t think I can control him for much longer
MythicalSausage:
Fine I’ll call off the fight
MythicalSausage:
No more duel.
MythicalSausage:
Just give me back my babies
Pixlriffs:
It was nice negotiating with you Sausage
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Not gonna lie, that was kinda hot, Pix
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Man knows how to threaten people
JOEYGRACEFFA:
And the production value of that photo
JOEYGRACEFFA:
WHo brings a glass cup to school
JOEYGRACEFFA:
The beyblades in the oreo pack
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Zloy’s pose
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Absolutely Magnificent
Pixlriffs:
Thank you very much, Joey Graceffa
JOEYGRACEFFA:
So are you seeing anyone?
Pixlriffs:
Sorry Joey I’m very flattered but I’m not really looking for anything right now
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Well I had to shoot my shot
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
You have to. Or how else are you going to know
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Exactly! Thank you Katherine
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Isn’t that right Scott?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Why am I being roped into this?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I didn't do anything
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Exactly
Pixlriffs:
Anyway if anyone is still on campus we have a few packs of oreos if anyone wants to have some
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Count me in!
Mer-idiot:
There’s also milk
Mer-idiot:
That hasn’t had beyblade bits in it
Eldritch Girlboss:
Let’s go!
SmallishBeans:
I love beyblade free milk
PearlescentMoon:
Oh another party, I can show you all the baby ducks that just hatched
PearlescentMoon:
They’re so adorable.
Pixlriffs has changed PearlescentMoon ’s name to Duck Mom
Duck Mom:
Thanks Pix
GeminiTay:
Let me see those babies!
ShubbleYT:
Woo babies
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I may have just been rejected but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy some oreos and baby ducks
fWhip:
Sure I can use some sweets
MythicalSausage:
I’m getting my babies! But can I stay for a cookie or two?
Pixlriffs:
Of course you can
Killed a man feeling good:
Scott, are you coming?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Sorry I got auditions for the School play tomorrow
Killed a man feeling good:
You’ve been practicing all week you deserve a break you know
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I don’t know the audition is just tomorrow
Mer-idiot:
You can have at least one night off right?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Okay fine, I’ll go
(Friday 2:03 AM)
fWhip:
Is anyone still awake
GeminiTay:
fWhip go to sleep
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Oh Hi
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I got locked out of my house
fWhip:
At 2 at night?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Let’s not talk about my problems
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Let’s talk about yours
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Why are you up so late
fWhip:
I just went through a break up
GeminiTay:
Wait what
GeminiTay:
You and Simon have been dating for a full year
GeminiTay:
That’s basically a lifetime in high school years
Mer-idiot:
Wait Simon the Salmon person?
Mer-idiot:
I never liked them (edited)
GeminiTay:
They use they/them pronouns
Mer-idiot:
Whoops let me fix that
Mer-idiot:
That’s rough buddy
fWhip:
They told me “I need someone who can play GoFish like a real gamer”
fWhip:
What does that even mean
GeminiTay:
How bad are you at GoFish that someone broke up with you?
fWhip:
I thought we were playing Solitaire
Mer-idiot:
I’m sorry but those are very diferent games.
fWhip:
I don’t know card games okay
fWhip:
We played yahtzee more
fWhip:
Why are you guys awake then?
Mer-idiot:
Katherine said I should do the audition
Mer-idiot:
So i’ve been trying read the sript she gave me
fWhip:
Wow I believe in you
GeminiTay:
Well you are pretty good at reacting
GeminiTay:
That’s like 90% of acting
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You do have a really expressive face
JOEYGRACEFFA:
And a really great smile if I do say so myself
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You know what that was weird
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I’m not going to hit on my best friend’s little brother
Mer-idiot:
Thanks guys, but I really don't understand all of the anons and stuff
Mer-idiot:
I don’t think I’ll get a major role but it would be nice to get something
Mer-idiot:
Joey what are you doing right now?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I’ve just been chilling on my patio
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I don’t know where my key is
Mer-idiot:
Does it hve a tiger key chain on it?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
That’s the one
Mer-idiot:
Wait I think you left that in Lizzie’s car
Mer-idiot:
I can drop it off for you
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Thank you so much Jimmy.
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I can help you with your script, I used to be an actor you know
Mer-idiot:
Thank you so much Joey
fWhip:
What about you Gem?
GeminiTay:
I heard my baby brother crying
fWhip:
You’re only older by 4 minutes
GeminiTay:
And I will lord those 4 minutes over you as long as you annoy me
fWhip:
Hey I’m hurting right now
GeminiTay:
I’ll get the Raspberry Ripple out of the fridge
fWhip:
Thank you so much
GeminiTay:
<3
Chapter 11
Summary:
The one where teenage girls are terrifying
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(Friday 3:11 PM)
Mer-idiot:
Somone please help me
Eldritch Girlboss:
What did you do this time
Mer-idiot:
I got locked in the janitor closet
SmallishBeans:
How did you do that
Mer-idiot:
someone pushed me inside and locked the door
Eldritch Girlboss:
What now
Eldritch Girlboss:
@MythicalSausage if this was you. You better sleep with one eye open
MythicalSausage:
It wasn’t me!
MythicalSausage:
At least not this time
MythicalSausage:
I can’t incite Pixl’s wrath so soon
Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy give me more info about the criminal
Mer-idiot:
The person that locked me inside was wearing all black
Eldritch Girlboss:
@fWhip I swear I will toss all of your gadgets into the pool and burn your scarf
fWhip:
What no!! I didn’t do it
Eldritch Girlboss:
Tell me a good reason why it wasn’t you, you dark academia wannabe
fWhip:
Is that really what you think of me
fWhip
I have server maintenance duty on Fridays
fWhip:
It wasn’t me, I swear
fWhip:
Don’t touch my drones please
Mer-idiot:
Liz they had a scottish accent
Eldritch Girlboss:
@Scott Elf King of Rivendell you’re not in middle school anymore. You actually have to talk about your feelings
Killed a man feeling good:
^^^^^
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I don’t know what you’re talking about?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I didn’t do anything
Mer-idiot:
Lizzie they were taller than me
Eldritch Girlboss:
So it wasn’t Scott
Eldritch Girlboss:
Who did it then?
Eldritch Girlboss:
Who am I going to not-alive to defend my brother’s honor
Mer-idiot:
I don now but can someone please let me out?
Pixlriffs:
I’ll get Zloy
Pixlriffs:
He might be running a journalism meeting right now so it might be a while
Pixlriffs:
Actually I could just borrow his lock pick
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Can’t you just get a teacher with a key?
Pixlriffs:
Oh yeah
Pixlriffs:
I had crime on the brain
Pixlriffs:
We can get a teacher
Pixlriffs:
Which janitorial closet are you in
Mer-idiot:
The one near the auditorium
Pixlriffs:
@everyone if anyone is near the auditorium can you please get a teacher to free Jimmy
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
i’m near there
Mer-idiot:
Can you please hurry
Mer-idiot:
I’ve been stuck in here for a wile
Mer-idiot:
I need to get to the audition
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
why are you going to the audition
Mer-idiot:
Oh Katherine said I should audition
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
okay then, You better not get in my way
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
i’m going for the lead
Mer-idiot:
I’m just hoping to get anything at all
Mer-idiot:
I don’t think I’m that good anyway
Mer-idiot:
You don’t have to worry
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Lies!
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Jimmy you did great last night at my house
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You can definitely get a major role.
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You could totally get Romeo
Mer-idiot:
Thanks Joey
JOEYGRACEFFA:
<3
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Maybe I should just leave you there
Mer-idiot:
Scott please
Eldritch Girlboss:
Might I remind you Scott that I am still here
Eldritch Girlboss:
And that you being near the scene of the crime doesn’t look too good for you
Eldritch Girlboss:
It would be a shame for someone that knows where you live to have a vendetta against you
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I’m almost there, Jimmy
GeminiTay:
Lizzie as a fellow big sister you are terrifying
GeminiTay:
I would never do that for my little brother
MythicalSausage:
I swear I say you threaten Simon today
fWhip:
Gem what now
GeminiTay:
I didn’t do anything
MythicalSausage:
I thought I heard you say
MythicalSausage:
No one hurts my brother without consequences
fWhip:
Gem you shouldn’t have
GeminiTay:
It was nothing
fWhip:
I meant you really shouldn’t have
fWhip:
I just got back together with Simon
fWhip:
They apologized for breaking up with me over GoFish
GeminiTay:
Well then
GeminiTay:
Oh not I’m going through a tunnel
GeminiTay:
Krkrkkrkkrkkrkrkrkkrkrk Bye!
(Friday 3:32 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Theater Nerd:
Katherine why did you tell him to Audition
Flower Enjoyer:
I thought it would be fun
Theater Nerd:
Fun for who
Flower Enjoyer:
Fun for him and fun for you
Theater Nerd:
Katherine why are you doing this
Theater Nerd:
Is this about me talking to Shrub first
Flower Enjoyer:
No
Flower Enjoyer:
It’s because you like Jimmy
Theater Nerd:
I don’t like Jimmy
Flower Enjoyer:
Are we really doing this?
Flower Enjoyer:
Fine then
Flower Enjoyer sent caughtin4k.png
(a candid picture of Scott staring fondly at Jimmy during the cupcake party.)
Theater Nerd:
So what?
Flower Enjoyer:
I know what that look is
Theater Nerd:
It’s not like I stared at him like that after that
Flower Enjoyer:
Are you sure about that?
Flower Enjoyer sent caughtin8k.png
(another candid photo of Scott looking at Jimmy this time during the oreo party)
Theater Nerd:
That doesn’t prove anything
Flower Enjoyer:
But you deleting these definitely says something
Flower Enjoyer sent caughtin16k.png
(a screenshot of the 10 messages that Scott deleted from chapter 3
Mer-idiot:
Wait wat is that in th empty char
Eldritch Girlboss:
Oh you mean this?
Eldritch Girlboss sent the file scottstinyfriend.png
(the picture is of the chair in between Lizzie and Scott. On the chair is a plush bear wearing a Captain America hoodie, it looks like it’s been taken care of. Scott is turned away from the camera talking to Katherine)
Eldritch Girlboss:
We wanted something to represent you, and Scott had the perfect stuffed animal for it
Mer-idiot:
He kept it!
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
You gave him something? o_O
Mer-idiot:
Yeah wen we were at summer camp in middle school. I gav him that bear.
Eldritch Girlboss:
So that's why it looked familiar
Mer-idiot:
I broke my arm and had to go hom eearly. Scott didnt want me to leave so I gave him my my bear so he woldnt cry anymore.
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
That’s so cute (; _ ;) )
Flower Enjoyer:
So that bear huh?
Flower Enjoyer:
I always wondered why you always kept that bear on your bed
Flower Enjoyer:
Even when your other stuffed animals went through their seasonal rotation
Theater Enjoyer:
It’s a good bear
Flower Enjoyer:
Scott is that really all there is?
Read 3:46 PM
(Friday 7:15 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
Are you ready to talk about it?
Read 7:38 PM
(Saturday 8:58 AM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
How about now?
Read 10:36 AM
(Saturday 4:32 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
Scott?
Read 7:36 PM
(Sunday 12:32 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
Hey
Read 6:47 PM
(Sunday 6:52 PM)
Flower Enjoyer:
You know what
Flower Enjoyer:
If you're going to ignore me
Flower Enjoyer:
I'll ignore you too
Flower Enjoyer:
Bye Scott
Read 6:52 PM
Notes:
was this based on when Katherine pulled out Jimmy's receipts? why yes
There was a version of this where Katherine found Scott's spotify playlist. I regret not using it
Chapter Text
(Monday 12:34 PM)
fWhip:
Simon broke up with me again…
GeminiTay:
It’s only been 3 days
fWhip:
We played Uno…
SmallishBeans:
That was so funny!
GeminiTay:
What the heck are you talking about
SmallishBeans:
fWhip, Jimmy, Simon Grian and I were playing Uno in the parking lot behind the gas station and we had a +20 going in a chain and fWHip thought Simon had another + 2 but they didn’t so fwhip called uno and Simon got 27 cards in their hand
SmallishBeans:
Simon just threw their cards at fWhip and said we’re over
fWhip:
I got a papercut
Mer-idiot:
I hate agreeing with Simon but I think it was fair to break up over that
Eldritch Girlboss:
I agree, I would of killed Joel
SmallishBeans:
It would be completely justified
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I don’t think I’ve ever played Uno
ShubbleYT:
Really?!
ShubbleYT:
We should play
ShubbeYT:
We could meet at my house
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Your house? 👉👈
ShubbleYT:
Yeah Katherine, we all could!
SmallishBeans:
I’m in!
SmallishBeans:
I hunger for the chaos of the CaRd GAmE
Duck Mom:
You are speaking my language Joel
Duck Mom:
I thirst for combat!
MythicalSausage:
I would like to fight as well
GeminiTay:
You guys are really getting into this
GeminiTay:
Isn’t this a little too dramatic?
Pixlriffs:
Gem, this is a dungeon & dragons chat of course they're going to be dramatic
GeminiTay:
You got me there
GeminiTay:
I can’t go
GeminiTay:
I’m going to buy ice cream after school
Mer-idiot:
Why are you buying ice cream?
GeminiTay:
I sense someone wanting a lot of Raspberry Ripple
fWhip:
Thank you Gem
fWhip:
I don’t think I can handle more Uno
fWhip:
I’ll just mope in my room
Mer-idiot:
We cant hve you do that again
Mer-idiot:
Hey Pixl cn you set up a campaign today
Pixlriffs:
Sure
Mer-idiot:
Let’s have a fWhip day!
Mer-idiot:
Scott you’re not doing anything right?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Not really
Mer-idiot:
Want to join our game?
Mer-idiot:
We’ve never actually played together yet
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
fine
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You can play with me however you want
Mer-idiot:
Cool :D
Eldritch Girlboss:
I’ll join as well
GeminiTay:
I will bring ice cream to club room then
Eldritch Girlboss:
Joey you’ve been through a lot of breakups
Eldritch Girlboss:
You must be an expert at dealing with them now
JOEYGRACEFFA:
First of all rude
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Second of all, I can’t help you right now, I’m going on a date with the new kid
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Well they don’t know it’s a date
JOEYGRACEFFA:
He said something about the back of a mcdonald’s drive through and I’m kind interested in what that means
(private message from Jimmy to Lizbeans)
Jimmy:
Liz is Joey going to get murdered?
Lizbeans:
I hope not
Lizbeans:
I think I’ll follow him to be safe.
(Monday 12:43 PM)
D&D Group 3
Eldritch Girlboss:
Turns out I have something I need to do
Eldritch Girlboss:
You know once a month stuff
fWhip:
I completely understand
Pixlriffs:
After School session then! Let’s do it!
Mer-idiot:
Were gona have a great time!
(Monday 5:45 PM)
fWhip:
Jimmy you were right I had a great time
Mer-idiot:
I had an awful time
Mer-idiot:
I can’t believe you all ganged up on me like that
Mer-idiot:
Friendship ended with all of you Pixl is my only friend now
Eldritch Girlboss:
What happened?
fWhip:
I took his awful hat
Mer-idiot:
They took my awesome hat
SmallishBeans:
You will pay fWhip for taking the Codfather’s crown!
SmallishBeans has changed their name to Codvenger
Codvenger:
I must avenge the codfather!
Mer-idiot:
I love you bro
Codvenger:
You’re my entire world bro
Mer-idiot:
Bro
Mer-idiot:
<3
Codvenger:
<3
Scott Elf King of Rivendell
💙🧡💛
Codvenger:
It takes one to know one Scott
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I don’t know what you mean
Codvenger:
Poppies
Mer-idiot:
?
Codvenger:
Don’t worry about Jimmy!
Eldritch Girlboss:
As much as I love my two favorite boys get along
Eldritch Girlboss:
Please stop flirting on main
Mer-idiot:
Lizzie they stole my hat
Eldritch Girlboss:
Why though
Mer-idiot:
fWhip nocked me out ingame and then stole my crown and decided to steal my real hat to
fWhip:
It made feel a lot better though
Mer-idiot:
That’s great fWhippy but please can I get it back
fWhip:
Sorry Jim, but I don’t have it
Mer-idiot:
What are you talking about
fWhip:
I hid it around the school
fWhip:
You’re going to have to find it
Mer-idiot:
Ill participate in your twisted scavenger hunt you steampunk salmonlover
fWhip:
:P
Chapter Text
(Thursday 10:33 AM)
Mer-idiot:
Hey canI askyou a wird quston?
Pixlriffs:
Why are you texting during class?
Mer-idiot:
I hav a fevr so I staed hom
Scott Elf King of RIvendell:
You definitely have more than a fever
Pixlriffs:
Scott get back to class!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You can’t tell me what to do
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You’re not my dad
Codvenger:
Yeah Pix is my dad
Pixlriffs:
You’re not helping Joel
Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed Pixlriffs ’s name to Copper Dad
Copper Dad:
I regret giving you that power
Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed Copper Dad ’s name to Copper Daddy
Copper Daddy:
I hate this more
Copper Daddy:
If you have to, I’ll stick with the other one
Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed Copper Daddy ’s name to Copper Dad
Copper Dad:
Go back to class Scott
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Hello little gay people in my phone
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Hello other gay people in my phone
Mer-idiot:
’m nt ga
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I have no idea what that says
Codvenger:
What about us , Jimmy
Codvenger:
Have you been leading me on
Mer-idiot:
D:
Eldritch Girlboss:
Stop texting during class
Mer-idiot:
eelo Lize
Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy your typing is even worse than usual go back to sleep
Mer-idiot:
Bt diosa trn
Eldritch Girlboss:
You can text later when you’re not loopy
JOEYGRACEFFA:
What’s happening
Codvenger:
Jimmy has a question
Copper Dad:
Get back to class!
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Shouldn’t we say the same about you
Copper Dad:
I’m a senior, with free periods I can do whatever I want
JOEYGRACEFFA:
fine then, I’ll get back to English
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Wtf is amontillado
(Thursday 3:31 PM)
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
@Mer-idiot What was your question
Mer-idiot:
Oh yea I was watcing dinosaur train earlier and I was gonna sk if you were a dinosaur what would you be
JOEYGRACEFFA:
easy, Deinonychus
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Fast, pretty plumage, roams in a pack is that a Deinonychus or is that Me
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Scientists can’t tell
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Lizzie is a mosasaurus I know it’s not actually a dinosaur but she’s a scary sea monster that will break my bones
Eldritch Girlboss:
That is true
Shubble:
What would I be?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Ceolophysis, tiny and likes being around friends
Shubble:
Oooo
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Katherine has hadrosaur vibes. I think tsintaosaurus
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
It has a unicorn horn!
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Sausage is a pachycephalosaurus because he’s always butting heads with someone
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Joel is a stegosaurus. Small brain and likes plates
Codvenger:
Excuse me I like all of my ceramics not just plates
JOEYGRACEFFA:
That’s the part you refute?
Codvenger:
What? You’re not wrong
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Pearl is like a triceratops she will charge head first to fight someone
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Pixl has ankylosaurus vibes he seems grounded but would club you
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Scott wouldn’t be a dinosaur, he’s probably a pterosaur. I would say Pteranodon. High and mighty with hollow bones
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
What does that mean
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You have hollow bones
fWhip:
Yeah Scott it’s pretty obvious what that means
JOEYGRACEFFA:
fWhip is an Amargasaurus. I just think he deserves cool spines
fWhip:
Nice
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Gem is a Dicraeosaurus it’s in the same family as Amargasaurus but it’s older and a little taller
GeminiTay:
nice
fWhip:
I can’t believe I’m being bullied by Joey now
GeminiTay:
It's true though
fWhip:
You're only taller by 1 centimeter
Mer-idiot:
👏👏
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Finally Jimmy is an incthyosaurus because fish
Mer-idiot:
: |
Copper Dad:
What just happened
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Joey Graceffa popped off
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Now if you don’t mind me, I have a date.
JOEYGRACEFFA:
A boy invited me to his basement because he wanted to show me his bottle collection
Copper Dad:
Didn’t you just read Cask of Amontillado?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Yeah what’s your point?
Copper Dad:
Never mind then enjoy your date, Fortunato
JOEYGRACEFFA:
My name is Joey?
Chapter Text
(Friday 12:41 PM)
Eldritch Girlboss:
Has anyone seen Joey?
Eldritch Girlboss:
He’s been absent in all of my classes
Copper Dad:
Do you think he got trapped behind a wall at his date
Eldritch Girlboss:
Knowing him he could have got stuck in a pit with a swinging blade above him and the siren bells in his head still wouldn’t ring
Eldritch Girlboss:
I really hope he’s okay
Copper Dad:
I’m sure he is
Copper Dad:
Zloy has a free period after lunch
Copper dad
I can convince him to check up on him
Eldritch Girlboss:
Thank you so much Pix
Codvenger:
You’re such a dad
Copper Dad:
I hate that
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Emergency!
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
SOmeOne TraMpleD the GaRdEN
Duck Mom:
Excuse me
Shubble:
What!
Shubble:
But you worked so hard to grow those tulips
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
The flowers were destroyed but the bulbs are still intact
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
The gardening club can keep them to grow new ones after winter
Shubble:
That’s good I love tulips
Shubble:
But do you know who could’ve done it?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
No clue
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
It’s really weird too
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
None of the red flowers were trampled
Duck Mom:
Thats so odd
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
We’ll still have a lot of roses to sell for Homecoming in a month though
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
But I really wanted to make a bouquet with the pink, orange, and white ones.
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I’m so devastated
Shubble:
That sounds awful
Duck Mom:
Speaking of red
Duck Mom:
When I went to the barn all of the sheep died
Shubble:
NO!
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Not the sheep!
Duck Mom:
Sorry I meant “were dyed”
Shubble:
What?
Duck Mom:
All of the sheep were red
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Are they safe though?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I hate the thought of poor sheepies hurt
Duck Mom:
As far as I can tell it’s only food coloring
Duck Mom:
A lot of it
Duck Mom:
The sheep will need an extra long bath this weekend but I think they’ll be okay
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Oh that’s good
Mer-idiot:
Katherine I’m so nerous
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Oh yeah! The audition results are today!
Mer-idiot:
I know tht I wasnt expecting anything but it’s still nerve wracking
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Don’t worry about it. I might have some insider information
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I overheard Ms. Larsson talking about casting with the art teacher
Mer-idiot:
Mr. Boerstra?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
That’s the one. Anyway apparently Grian was cast as Juliet
Duck Mom:
That’s so like him, I hope he gets to stab someone
GeminiTay:
I don’t think Juliet ever stabs anyone
Duck Mom:
They could rewrite the story, Gem
GeminiTay:
I guess. but why Grian? Weren’t there other girls who auditioned?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Apparently Grian was the only person who is small enough to fit in the balcony set
Duck Mom:
I mean Cleo is like 6 foot so that makes sense
Duck Mom:
What about Stress she’s shorter than Grian
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I think she was cast as Lady Montague first.
GeminiTay:
Ms. Larsson took one look at Stress and said mom friend
GeminiTay:
And she’d be right
GeminiTay:
She gave me and False cookies today She’s so good to us
Mer-idiot:
Did you find out if I’m in the show?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
The only information that I have left is that Cleo is the nurse
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
AND that everyone who auditioned got a part
Mer-idiot:
So I’m in the show. Now I’m just scared about what part I’ll get!
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Yeah! I’m sure it’s going to be a good one!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I doubt it
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
He’d probably only get something like Sampson or Abraham or even Gregory
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Ugh Gregory
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Scott be nice
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
What it’s just a fact, people with less experience tend to get bad roles
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
And Jimmy’s literally signed up for the audition a day before
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I mean he could even just be stage filler
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
He could just be there to stand and look pretty
Mer-idiot:
I guess i’ll start going to clas then
(Friday 1:21 PM)
Private Message between Zlonamir and Pixathan
Zlonamir:
Are you sure this is the place?
Pixathan:
It’s the address that Lizzie sent me
Zlonamir:
Never mind I see the baby pictures through the window
Zlonamir:
It’s so weird that every single picture I’ve seen of Joey has his shirt off
Pixathan:
It’s the wings I’m pretty sure
Zlonamir:
If grian can wear that red jumper every single day of his life, Joey can wear a shirt once in a while
Pixathan:
Okay that’s a really good point
Zlonamir:
Weird, the front door is unlocked.
Pixathan:
Please don’t get arrested
Zlonamir:
I won’t get caught
Pixathan:
That’s what you always say
Zlonamir:
Okay I think I found his room
Zlonamir:
Oh I hear something
Zlonamir:
I have to go
Pixathan:
What’s happening
Pixathan:
Are you there?
Pixathan:
Zloy?
(Friday 3:21 PM)
Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy I just got the email!
Eldritch Girlboss:
I’m so proud of you
Mer-idiot:
What part did I get
Eldritch Girlboss:
You got Mercutio!
Mer-idiot:
What!
Codvenger:
Jimmy that’s like the 3rd most important role
Mer-idiot:
How did I get that
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I told you that you were good
Eldritch Girlboss:
If only Joey were here, he’d take all the credit for this
Eldritch Girlboss:
But that’s all you
fWhip:
I think it makes a lot of sense
fWhip:
Mercutio is pretty dim and gets into a lot of fights
Mer-idiot:
Hey!
fWhip:
I’m just kidding! I think you’ll do amazing
Mer-idiot:
Will you tell me where my hat is now that I’ve got a big part?
fWhip:
Nope you have to find it yourself
Copper Dad has changed Mer-idiot ’s name to Mer-cutio
Copper Dad:
I’m very proud of you
Mer-cutio:
Thanks dad
Copper Dad:
I am suddenly filled with disappointment
Mer-cutio:
I’m sorry Joel got me to do it
Copper Dad:
Don’t worry I’m still proud, there’s just a lot of disappointment now
Mer-cutio:
Scott what role did you get?
Mer-cutio:
You were trying for a lead right?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Benvolio…
Mer-cutio:
Is he important?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Ugh
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You know what I hate this
Scott Elf King of Rivendell has left “D&D group 3”
Mer-cutio:
Katherine what just happened
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
He’s going to hate me for this but he’ll thank me later
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
I’m sending you his number
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
o7
(Friday 3:57 PM)
Transcript of a call between Jimmy and Scott
Jimmy:
I'm sorry.
Scott:
No you’re not!
Jimmy:
I feel bad for whatever I did. Please come back to the group chat.
Scott:
See that’s not how apologies work.
You don’t even know what you did.
Jimmy:
Then tell me Scott!
Scott:
Just Ughh.
Jimmy:
See you don’t even know what I did.
Scott:
You’re just… You.
And I hate it.
Jimmy:
I didn’t realize that you hated me so much. I’ll just leave you alo-
Scott:
I don’t mean it like that…
Just you make me feel -something- and I don’t like it.
Jimmy:
I’m sorry I make you feel that wa-
Scott:
Just I spent the entire week before the audition researching Romeo and Juliet. I know the entire script by heart. And you just decided to audition for the play the day before. You didn’t even know who Benvolio was. You have to understand how frustrating that is. You got Mercutio, he's basically the whole reason the plot happens in the first place. All I’m stuck with is Benvolio. I don’t even get to die in a tragic way like you do.
Jimmy:
I die?
Scott:
That’s exactly what I mean
Jimmy:
I can quit, if you hate the idea so much
Scott:
That wouldn’t be fair to you and that wouldn’t be fair to the show. This is my problem. I really shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry. Considering that we’re going to be a duo, I can’t really avoid you.
Jimmy:
We’re a duo?
Scott:
Yeah Benvolio and Mercutio are kind of like foils to each other. One is deadpan and level-headed while the other is out-going and emotional. They're different but they’re always around each other. Benvolio doesn’t really die in the show but doesn’t make an actual appearance after Mercutio dies.
Jimmy:
You really do know a lot about the show.
Scott:
That's just basic analysis, but I did spend a week researching the show after all.
Jimmy:
Do you think you could teach me.
Scott:
What do you mean?
Jimmy:
I don’t want to ruin the show. You know a lot. I know nothing. This is my first show. I really need help. I really need your help.
Scott:
What do you propose we do?
Jimmy:
I don’t know, can we meet up at your house and you can help me with the script. I really don’t understand the story.
Scott:
Well you could probably watch a movie or a recording of a play if you really want to get the story.
Jimmy:
Can we do that? I want to at least know the story before the first meeting on Monday.
Scott:
I guess we don’t have to go to tomorrow’s D&D meeting
Jimmy:
That sounds great. I’ll see you at your house tomorrow then
Scott:
Yeah see you tomorrow
Jimmy:
Oh I forgot, can I add you back to the group chat?
Scott:
Yeah sure. Bye Jimmy.
Jimmy:
Bye Petal!
Scott:
Wh-
Jimmy hung up
(Friday 4:18 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Theater Nerd:
You were right.
Theater Nerd:
I’m so sorry
Flower Enjoyer:
How bad is it?
Theater Nerd:
We're watching a movie at my house tomorrow
Flower Enjoyer:
So a date?
Theater Nerd:
It’s not a date okay
Flower Enjoyer:
Whatever you say : P
(Friday 5:21 PM)
Private Message between Zlonamir and Pixathan
Zlonamir:
Turns out he was just sick
Pixathan:
Zloy you had me so worried
Pixathan:
Why didn’t you respond for four hours
Zlonamir:
You see his parents weren’t home and he was about to expel the contents of his stomach on his bed
Zlonamir:
I had to take care of him
Pixathan:
How much chicken soup did you make
Zlonamir:
Pix you’re the dad friend here
Pixathan:
Answer the question
Zlonamir:
Enough that I’m dropping off leftovers at your house
Pixathan:
See you later Zloy glad you’re okay
Zlonamir:
Yeah yeah yeah
Chapter Text
(Saturday 10:00 AM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
So are you planning on going to D&D today?
Shrubble🍄:
Yes I am. I’m pretty excited since I didn’t get to play with you last time
Katherine🦋:
Well I usually ride with Scott to get there but he’s not going today
Shrubble🍄:
Oh do you want me to come pick you up?
Katherine🦋:
If you would be so kind
Shrubble🍄:
Oh its not a problem
Shrubble🍄:
See you later!
Katherine🦋:
Thank you so much!
(Saturday 10:15 AM)
“D&D group 3”
Copper Dad:
I had the weirdest dream, I told Zloy and he had no idea what it could be possibly about
GeminiTay:
What was the dream?
fWhip:
Was it one of those dreams?
Copper Dad:
There was a salmon
fWhip:
So it was one of those dreams
Copper Dad:
What are you talking about?
GeminiTay:
fWhip not everyone has the same predilections with salmon that you do
fWhip:
You don’t have to shame me in my own home
Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed fWhip ’s name to SalmonIsForDesire
SalmonIsForDesire:
Scott is back, I see….
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Please go on, Pixl
Copper Dad:
Well… Simon asked me out to the dance
SalmonIsForDesire :
Excuse me
Copper Dad:
Don’t worry I said no
SalmonIsForDesire :
Good 🔪
Codvenger:
Didn’t you and Simon just breakup?
SalmonIsForDesire :
We got back together again
Codveger:
Again?
SalmonIsForDesire :
I love them, okay
Copper Dad:
Anyway after i said no, A green man walked next to me and did the whole “Is this person bothering you” routine
GeminiTay:
Zloy?
Copper Dad:
You’d think it would be him but it wasn’t
GeminiTay:
How did you know it wasn’t Zloy?
Copper Dad:
Zloy always has goggles and he doesn’t wear a white mask
GeminiTay:
Who is this dream man then?
Copper Dad:
I don’t know!
GeminiTay:
What happened after?
Copper Dad:
He stabbed Simon with an axe in jealousy because apparently I went to the dance with him and I started crying over their body
SalmonIsForDesire:
That’s my partner! Pix you can’t just kill them off in your dream
Copper Dad:
fWhip, you can’t really control dreams
SalmonIsForDesire:
Yeah but can’t you do the lucid dream thing
Copper Dad:
No, but god I hope it’s not prophetic
Copper Dad:
Apollo please don’t interact
Killed a man feeling good:
Are we still having D&D then?
Copper Dad:
Yes we are.
Copper Dad:
Can I have a heads up for who’s coming
Duck Mom:
I’m ready for dice and heads to roll
MythicalSausage:
For the glory of combat!
Codvenger:
I’m almost there
Eldritch Girlboss:
We’re almost there
Eldritch Girlboss:
Joey can’t text while driving
fWhip:
Gem and I are going
ShubbleYT:
I just got to Katherine’s house to pick her up!
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
👀
Killed a man feeling good:
How about you Scott?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Jimmy and I can’t make it
Killed a man feeling good:
👀
Copper Dad:
I’ll make sure to prepare for 10 people then
(Saturday 10:23 AM)
Private Message from Large Pristine Egg to Small Damaged Egg
Large Pristine Egg:
Jimmy aren’t you going to D&D today?
Small Damaged Egg:
I forgt to tell you Im going to Scotts house
Large Pristine Egg:
Oh
Large Pristine Egg:
What are you doing there
Small Damaged Egg: we’re watching movies
Large Pristine Egg:
Well, have fun then
Large Pristine Egg:
Make sure you get some more blackworms for Sir Strawberry and Lady Marceline when you get back
Small Damaged Egg:
I don’t think we’ll be done before the pet store closes
Large Pristine Egg:
Oh? Well make sure you come back before curfew.
Small Damaged Egg:
I will. Love you Lizzie
Large Pristine Egg:
Love you too Jimmy
(Saturday 10:25 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
SCOTT THEY CAME TO PICK ME UP ON A MOTORCYCLE
Theater Nerd:
What?
Flower Enjoyer:
I’m riding on Shrub’s motorcycle
Theater Nerd:
Shouldn’t you be holding on?
Flower Enjoyer:
If I die, I want my last moments of clutching onto a biker girl to be documented
Theater Nerd:
Katherine, that’s really gay
Flower Enjoyer:
let me live
Flower Enjoyer:
I didn’t insult you when you went out to buy some weird energy drink when you found out Jimmy was coming over
Theater Nerd:
Shut up..
Flower Enjoyer:
Didn’t you find a promo code on his insta as well
Theater Nerd:
You see… he likes it a lot and if people use the code the company will continue to sponsor him
Flower Enjoyer:
oh to fall for an influencer
Theater Nerd:
Oh I just heard the doorbell ring
Flower Enjoyer:
Don’t enjoy yourself too much!
Theater Nerd:
Don’t fall off the bike Katherine!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Saturday 11:49 PM)
Private Message from Jimmy and Scott
Jimmy:
I jst got home
Scott:
We really went overboard with the time
Jimmy:
Yeah but it was fun
Jimmy:
I still don’t really get it
Scott:
Jimmy we watched 3 different versions of the show
Scott:
How did you not
Jimmy:
I liked the one with Zac Efron
Scott:
That was not Zac Efron
Scott:
That movie was from the 70s
Jimmy:
But it looked so much like him
Jimmy:
What if he’s secretly immortal
Scott:
I don’t want to live in a world where Zac Efron lives on eternal
Jimmy:
Well too bad, he’s going to outlive all of us
Scott:
Get your head in the game, Jimmy we should probably get back on topic
Jimmy:
Oh yeah, I still don’t really get it
Scott:
Jimmy, how?
Jimmy:
I don’t know? I still don’t really get it
Scott:
Again we watched 3 versions of the show
Scott:
The 1968 version, the 1996 one, and the 2013 one
Jimmy:
I know the story now but I still don’t get my motivations
Scott:
I mean you can come up with those later
Jimmy:
But I’ve seen your shows before, I really want to be on your level
Scott:
I’m flattered but no one expects you to be the best actor
Jimmy:
Yeah but what you said to me yesterday really got to me
Jimmy:
You worked really hard to get where you are and I don’t want to ruin it by being the weakest link
Jimmy:
You deserve to be part of a good show
Scott:
So you want to do this again?
Jimmy:
Can we?
Scott:
I can find more versions, but I don’t think we can meet on Saturdays since we’ll miss D&D again
Jimmy:
We can do Sunday!
Jimmy: If we do Sunday we can meet up next next week too
Scott:
You want to meet up again more?
Jimmy:
I like hanging out with you
Scott:
I guess we can keep meeting up
Jimmy:
Yeah!
(Sunday 1:13 AM)
private message between YahtzeeSimon and fWhishy
YahtzeeSimon:
I’m sorry for doing this over text
YahtzeeSimon:
I know that we’ve been dating since we were freshmen but
YahtzeeSimon:
I want us to break up
YahtzeeSimon:
Seriously this time
YahtzeeSimon:
I don’t like you like that anymore
YahtzeeSimon:
Just know that everything I felt for you was real
YahtzeeSimon:
I loved you
YahtzeeSimon:
Goodbye fWhip
(Sunday 8:34 AM)
fWhishy:
Oh
Message could not be sent your number has been blocked
Chapter 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(Monday 1:20 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
I want to issue a challenge
Theater Nerd:
Oh?
Theater Nerd:
Does this have anything to do with Homecoming in three weeks?
Flower Enjoyer:
Yes it does
Flower Enjoyer:
I think the first person to ask out their crush to homecoming should have the other pay for the tickets and a date at a fancy restaurant
Theater Nerd:
Why?
Flower Enjoyer:
I just think that this is a great way to motivate us to move forward
Theater Nerd:
Let me guess, you already plan on asking out Shrub today?
Flower Enjoyer:
I can still chicken out!
Theater Nerd:
I know that’s why I’m taking you up on this challenge
Theater Nerd:
but it has to be an actual date
Theater Nerd:
Not a friend date
Flower Enjoyer:
Of course
(Monday 3:00 PM)
MythicalSausage:
Hey Gem and fWhip why weren’t you at school?
GeminiTay:
Sorry guys, I was taking care of fWhip all day
Duck Mom:
Oh no, what’s up with fWhip?
GeminiTay:
He’s dealing with some heartbreak right now
Codvenger:
Again?
GeminiTay:
This time it’s serious
GeminiTay:
Simon broke up with him in the middle of the night and then blocked his number
GeminiTay:
He’s been despondent since Sunday morning
Mer-cutio:
That’s awful
GeminiTay:
Yeah it is
Mer-cutio:
This is why I don’t like Simon
Eldritch Girlboss:
No, you don’t like Simon because they gave you ick in kindergarten
Mer-cutio:
They’re the reason I have trouble breathing in water!
Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy you just have under developed gills, it’s fine
SalmonIsForDesire:
Hey Scott can you change my name to something else
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Of course buddy, what should it be?
SalmonIsForDesire:
I don’t know anything but this, I’ll take suggestions
Codvenger:
Daddy fWhip
Scott Elf King of Rivendell changed SalmonIsForDesire’s name to Daddy fWhip
Daddy fWhip:
Thanks joel...
Codvenger:
You’re welcome 😇
GeminiTay:
What did we miss?
MythicalSausage:
You missed the Homecoming announcement assembly
Duck Mom:
It’s like late september, why did they announce Homecoming already
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Obviously it's important to the plot, it’s going to be relevant to upcoming drama
Eldritch Girlboss:
Joey we’re not living in a story, this is real life
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Let me live
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Also they need nominations for homecoming royalty
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I want to ask out my new boyfriend to the dance
Eldritch Girlboss:
Is that the same one who ghosted you behind the McDonald's?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
He was just sick that day, okay
Codvenger:
Homecoming is nearby which means i can ask a very important question!
MythicalSausage:
Oh my god it’s happening
Mer-cutio:
:o
Codvenger:
Jimmy!
Mer-cutio:
Me?!
Codvenger:
will you?
MythicalSausage:
EVERYONE HE’S GOING TO POP THE QEUSSTION
Mer-cutio:
yes?
Codvenger:
Make me the happiest man in the world and-
Mer-cutio:
😳
Codvenger:
Help me ask out your sister?
Mer-cutio:
Yes
Mer-cutio:
yes
Mer-cutio:
a million times yes!
MythicalSausage:
I’m so happy that i got to witness this beautiful moment
MythicalSausage:
I’m crying right now
Eldritch Girlboss:
You know this was a very odd way of asking my brother for a favor
Codvenger:
Yeah but you love when I’m weird
Eldritch Girlboss:
Yeah yeah i do
Codvenger:
You’re going to love how I’m going to ask you
Eldritch Girlboss:
I can’t wait <3
MythicalSausage:
Aww that’s so cute
MythicalSausage:
Is anyone else going to the dance with someone?
MythicalSausage:
Pixl?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Yeah is a certain masked man asking you out?
Copper Dad:
No, but someone did ask me out
Codvenger:
Was it Simon?
Daddy fWhip:
Dude
Codvenger:
I realize now that was probably too soon
Codvenger:
I apologize
Codvenger:
fWhip please don’t hate me
Daddy fWhip:
I could never hate you Joel
Codvenger:
I could never hate you too, fwhip
Daddy fWhip:
Is it just me or is it getting hot in here
Codvenger:
No I don’t think it’s just you
Codvenger:
*starts taking off jacket*
Daddy fWhip:
*blushes*
Daddy fWhip:
*helps you*
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
why
GeminiTay:
At least do this in dms
Daddy fWhip:
Joel, if only circumstance didn’t keep us apart
Eldritch Girlboss:
It’s me, I’m circumstance
Codvenger:
We’re like Romeo and Juliet
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
No that’s Ren and Grian
Copper Dad:
Anyway, it was just Zloy
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
😲
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I should have known you two were dating!
Copper Dad:
We’re not
Copper Dad:
He just asked me to the dance because (and I quote) “If you’ve never wanted to platonically slow dance with your best friend, I don’t know what you’re doing with your relationship.”
Copper Dad:
I didn’t know what to say other than “Sure, I'll dance with you.”
MythicalSausage:
Well I know who I'm nominating for Homecoming Royalty
Duck Mom:
That’s so like Zloy
GeminiTay:
Oh we should ask the other hermit girls to do that too
Duck Mom:
That sounds like a lot fun
ShubbleYT:
Oh I love that!
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Me too!
MythicalSausage:
I am so excited
Mer-cutio:
Why are you so excited?
MythicalSausage:
Jimmy, I’m on the football team, why wouldn’t I be excited for Homecoming
Mer-cutio:
I forgot about that
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Jimmy, we need to get to rehearsal. Where are you?
Mer-cutio:
Oh I forget, I’m on the other side of campus
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
If you’re stuck in another closet, I’m not getting you out
Mer-cutio:
You don’t have to worry about that
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You better not be late
Mer-cutio:
I won’t!
(Monday 4:00 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Shrub, I’ve been thinking about us and i really want to
(Monday 4:10 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Will you make me the happiest woman
(Monday 4:30 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄 (Monday 4:40 PM)
Katherine🦋:
You, me, the homecoming dance *finger guns*
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Please go out with me I’m desperate
(Monday 4:500 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
From the moment I met you, i knew you were the one for me
(Monday 5:00 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Can you feel the love tonight, the peace the evening brings
(Monday 5:10 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Everytime we touch I get this feeling
(Monday 5:20 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
I love you. Most ardently.
(Monday 5:30 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
My heart is, and always will be, yours
(Monday 5:40 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave
(Monday 5:50 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Katherine🦋:
Shrub, would you like to go to the dance with me?
Shrubble🍄:
Yes!
(Monday 5:52 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
Read em and weep
Flower Enjoyer sent the file IWin.png
(a screenshot of katherine’s text and shrub’s response, in the bottom right corner, Shrub seems to be typing)
Theater Nerd:
I’m not so sure, text me after those three dots are gone
(Monday 5:55 PM)
Private Message from Katherine🦋 to Shrubble🍄
Shrubble🍄:
I would love to platonically slow dance with you
Shrubble🍄:
I’m so glad you think of me as your best friend
Shrubble🍄:
When I move to this new school, I didn’t really think, I’d find friends so quickly
Shrubble🍄:
Back at my old school, I was bullied pretty badly so I tried to stay out of everyone’s way when i first came here
Shrubble🍄:
Thank you for making me feel like I belong
Shrubble🍄:
Thank you for being my best friend, Katherine
Katherine🦋:
Yeah best friends.
Shrubble🍄:
<3
(Monday 6:00 PM)
Private message between Flower Enjoyer and Theater Nerd
Flower Enjoyer:
She thought it was a friend date…
Theater Nerd:
Wow, two gals who are just pals
Notes:
That Zloy quote has been stuck in my head for 3 years and this is not hyperbole
Chapter Text
(Tuesday 12:00 PM)
Daddy fWhip:
Hey pixl
Copper Dad:
Yes f[redacted] Whip?
Daddy fWhip:
Can we do D&D today?
Copper Dad:
Sorry I actually have a meeting with group 2 today
Daddy fWhip:
What about tomorrow?
Copper Dad:
Nope, I got group 1 that day
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You have other groups than just us!
Copper Dad:
Joey Graceffa this chat is literally called D&D group 3
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I can’t read okay
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Okay but who do I have to take care of so we have sole, Pixl dm rights
Copper Dad:
Group 1 is just Zloy, and his friends, Lyarrah and Silent
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Okay, I can’t get rid of Zloy he’d be too hard to lock in a room
Copper Dad:
Please don’t try to capture my best friend
Daddy fWhip:
What goes on in that group?
Copper Dad:
It’s usually just those three trying to take over the world
Daddy fWhip:
What now?
Copper Dad:
Yeah the most recent campaign had Zloy trying to take over the economy with a cryptocurrency called Dumm
Copper Dad:
Sometimes Zloy’s other friends join the campaigns, like Tizz who’s a fox with pink eye and keeps giving poo as presents to npcs
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Okay that seems too chaotic for me to mess with, what about Group 2
Copper Dad:
Let’s see, Group 2 is made of ImpulseSV, Mumbo Jumbo, Pearlescent Moon, GoodTimesWithScar, and Grian
JOEYGRACEFFA:
PEARL! Why do you get Pixl twice a week
Duck Mom:
Oh yeah, I signed up twice. I didn’t think Pixl would let me
Copper Dad:
I added in the numbers to the group chat before I actually checked
Copper Dad:
And i was too awkward to tell her to leave
Duck Mom:
And I’ve had the time of my life playing D&D with both groups
Duck Mom:
I have to say, I am enjoying this moon arc
Copper Dad:
Thank you, PearlescentMoon
Copper Dad:
When I told Zloy about it, he told me “You’re just reusing the moon arc from our session” but It’s different
Duck Mom:
Well…
Copper Dad:
Pearl, I swear
Duck Mom:
Fine, but I can’t wait for Mumbo to go crazy again
Copper Dad:
Yeah he started off as an artificer and then he subclassed to druid and now he decided to invest in warlock to steal souls. I don’t know what he’s doing anymore
Daddy fWhip:
Can I join, I just want something to do after school
Duck Mom:
I don’t see why not
Copper Dad:
You play pretty close to Grian, so I’m pretty they’d appreciate another explosives buddy
Duck Mom:
What if we blew up the moon?
Daddy fWhip:
Oh my god Yes
Copper Dad:
I can just hear Zloy saying I’m reusing plot points again
Copper Dad:
Also you can join but I think you’ll need to make a new character since your campaigns aren’t really compatible.
Daddy fWhip:
Yeah I can do that
GeminiTay:
fWhip why do you want to go to D&D on Tuesday, don’t you usually do something
Daddy fWhip:
Who do I usually hang out with on Tuesday
GeminiTay:
Oh. Proceed then
(Tuesday 3:02 PM)
Mer-cutio:
Pixl what was “f[redactd] Whip”
Copper Dad:
fWhip has requested that I don’t say his actual first name
Mer-cutio:
Gem does that mean your name is Gemini Tay Whip?
GeminiTay:
Yeah
Mer-cutio:
What’s fWhip’s name then
Daddy fWhip:
You’ll never know
Mer-cutio:
Tell me!
Daddy fWhip:
I’ll never tell you
Mer-cutio:
If I can guess will you tell me where my crown is
Daddy fWhip:
Sure but you’ll never get it
Mer-cutio:
Femini Tay
Daddy fWhip:
No
Mer-cutio:
Fryce
Daddy fWhip:
Still no
Mer-cutio:
Fwhippediah
Daddy fWhip:
Not even close
Codvenger:
Fomeo, my one tru love
Daddy fWhip:
You got it!
Mer-cutio:
Really?
Daddy fWhip:
No
Mer-cutio:
Fhil?
GeminiTay:
Closer
Daddy fWhip:
Hey don’t give him hints
Mer-cutio:
No please give me hints
MythicalSausage:
I know it but I think it’s funnier if you guess
Mer-cutio:
I’ll steal your beyblads again Sausage tell me
MythicalSausage:
Actually they’re not even on campus anymore so you can’t threaten my babies anymore
Mer-cutio:
Tell me, it’s gotta be really embarrassing for fWhip
MythicalSausage:
I would never betray fWhip and Gem
GeminiTay:
Try to find it out on your own Jimmy
Mer-cutio:
Oh fine
(Tuesday 5:12 PM)
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Pixl why didn’t you tell me that Zloy has a youtube channel
Copper Dad:
I don’t actually know much about it
Copper Dad:
All I know is that he has one
GeminiTay:
How did you find out?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
The journalism club wanted to do an article about social media and since I have the most followed insta, they decided to interview moi
GeminiTay:
What does that have to do with Zloy?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Apparently he has a popular enough channel to be considered instead of me an actual celebrity
ShubbleYT:
You’re a celebrity???
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Excuse me, I was a child actor in a very successful horror series
Eldritch Girlboss:
If it was so successful why haven’t you gotten a role recently
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Hollywood’s rampant degeneracy and mistreatment of child actors
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You saw what they did to Miley Cyrus
JOEYGRACEFFA:
That could’ve been me
Eldritch Girlboss:
Okay, Hannah
JOEYGRACEFFA:
My name is Joey?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Anyway what exactly does Zloy do
Copper Dad:
I don’t know, he refuses to tell me
Copper Dad:
It’s not even attached to any of his names
Copper Dad:
If I knew how to use computers more, I could probably try to see if there are any popular channels attached to his IP address
GeminiTay:
You can probably get fWhip to do that
GeminiTay:
Actually I was going to ask do you know where he is
GeminiTay:
He hasn’t responded to my texts
Copper Dad:
He actually went to Grian’s house after the session. They wanted to learn how to make potato bombs and fWhip said that he could teach her.
GeminiTay:
He must’ve blown up his phone
GeminiTay:
Again
Mer-cutio:
You guys are talking about Zloy’s channel?
Copper Dad:
Do you know anything Jimmy?
Mer-cutio:
Oh yeah he actually invited me to play on a server he admins for or something
Mer-cutio:
Something about supporting smaller streamers
Mer-cutio:
I never actually got back to him because I was really busy with school at the time
Copper Dad:
Do you know the name?
Mer-cutio:
He actually told me nt to tell peeple
Copper Dad:
Zloy you may be my best friend but you are an enigma
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I bet Zloy isn’t even his real name
Copper Dad:
Joey…
Chapter Text
(Tuesday 5:30 PM)
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You could have told me that his name wasn’t actually Zloy
Copper Dad:
I thought you knew?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
How was I supposed to know?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Literally no one calls him anything but Zloy
Copper Dad:
That’s just because everyone already knows
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I didn’t
JOEYGRACEFFA:
At least your name is actually Pixl
Copper Dad:
Joey…
JOEYGRACEFFA:
AGAIN??
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I know nothing about you guys
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Yeah you can’t think of anyone but yourself
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Oh hollow bone boy is trying to tell me to think about other people
JOEYGRACEFFA:
The guy who has no idea how to deal with his emotions so all he does is run away
JOEYGRACEFFA:
At least I’m trying to learn about other people now
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I’m not the one putting effort into a relationship that will never take off
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Like you’re putting effort into a relationship at all
Eldritch Girlboss:
Don’t do this in the group chat
Copper Dad:
Let’s not escalate this further
Mer-cutio:
Can we please stop fighting
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Fine
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I didn’t even do anything
Copper Dad:
Why do you care so much about Zloy now?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
He took care of me that one time
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You know
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You have to care about the man who nursed you back to health when no one else would
Copper Dad:
Joey Graceffa, do you like ZloyXP?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Who wouldn’t
Copper Dad:
I have to applaud you for your forwardness
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I know what I want
Copper Dad:
Understandable have a good day
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Wait you still didn’t tell me his real name
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Or yours
(Tuesday 6:01 PM)
Private message between Jimmy and Scott
Jimmy:
Scott what was that think with Joey about
Scott:
I don’t know what you’re talking about
Jimmy:
Scott
Jimmy:
Scottt
Jimmy:
Scotttt
Scott:
Jimmy
Jimmy:
Yes, Scott?
Scott:
Why do you care so much about this
Jimmy:
Becuse I care about you
Jimmy:
And I don’t think provoking another one of our friends
Jimmy:
Is good for you
Scott:
Olivia Rodrigo?
Jimmy:
Scott please
Scott:
What do you want from me
Jimmy:
I just want to talk
Scott:
Is this the part where you tell me that you don’t want to be friends right
Jimmy:
Scott I would never do that
Jimmy:
Im with you all the way
Jimmy:
Tell me whas up
Scott:
I’m just kind of jealous of Joey’s confidence
Scott:
He’s not scared of rejection
Scott:
And I have a deal about asking someone out to homecoming with katherine
Scott:
I’m terrified of asking anyone out and them saying no
Jimmy:
Scott, anyone would be lucky to go to the dance with you.
Jimmy:
At least I think so
Scott:
Thank you Jimmy, that means so much coming from you.
Jimmy:
Np
(Wednesday 3:45 PM)
Mer-cutio:
Scott are you still up to do the thing on Sunday??
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
What are you doing on Sunday?
Mer-cutio:
Oh this is the group chat
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Jimmy!
Mer-cutio:
What we’re just watching movies together
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Watching movies 👀
Mer-cutio:
Don’t worry Katherine
Mer-cutio:
We’re just watching movies
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
What kind of movies?
Mer-cutio:
Were watching different versions of Romeo and Juliet
Mer-cutio:
We watched some last week
Daddy fWhip:
Did you watch the one with guns and gang violence
GeminiTay:
All of them have gang violence
GeminiTay:
That’s the whole point of Romeo and Juliet
Daddy fWhip:
Well this one has guns
Mer-cutio:
There's one with guns?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Jimmy we watched that one already
Mer-cutio:
We did?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
That was the one with Leonardo Dicaprio
Mer-cutio:
I think that was one I feel asleep to
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You fell asleep?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Jimmy your eyes were open the entire time
Mer-cutio:
Fish people can fall asleep with their eyes open
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
What!
Mer-cutio:
@Eldritch Girlboss can you explain how the eye thing works
Eldritch Girlboss:
Fish people have a third eyelid called a nictitating membrane that we use to keep our eyes moist above water and to protect them in water.
Eldritch Girlboss:
Jimmy please learn about your own biology
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Is there anything else I have to know about Fish person biology?????
Eldritch Girlboss:
Nothin I can say without a parent’s permission
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Interesting I’m actually really curious
Eldritch Girlboss:
So about the blowfish and bream
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
blow fish? 👀
Eldritch Girlboss:
Fun fact about that actually
Mer-cutio:
Let’s keep this family friendly please
Mer-cutio
What were we talking about again?
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
You were sleeping during the movie
Mer-cutio:
I just got really tired oakay
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
I told you important things and you were asleep the entire time?!
Mer-cutio:
You told me important thing???
Mer-cutio:
You can tell me now
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
The moment’s gone
Mer-cutio:
Please 👉👈
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
No
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
EMERGENCY!
Duck Mom:
Guys we kind of need help
Mer-cutio:
O no what happened
Scott Elf King of Rivendell:
Huh?
Eldritch Girlboss:
?
fWhip:
Emergency?
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Do any of you have clothes that will fit shrub?
Eldritch Girlboss:
I think Joel is probably closest in height but it would still be big on them
Duck Mom:
I think that should be fine for now
Eldritch Girlboss:
What happened?
Duck Mom:
Shrub and Katherine were visiting the duck pond and then someone pushed her in.
Duck Mom:
I didn’t get a good look at who pushed her in but I thought I heard someone Scottish?
Eldritch Girlboss:
Interesting. I’ll get those clothes to you right away
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
Thank you so much Lizzie
(Wednesday 6:15 PM)
Private message between Theater Nerd and Flower Enjoyer
Theater Nerd:
What happened??
Flower Enjoyer:
I was going to tell her that I actually was asking her out to the dance
Flower Enjoyer:
I don’t know hwat to do now
Theater Nerd:
Can’t you just ask her now?
Flower Enjoyer:
She just almost drowned and I don’t want to spring that on her
Flower Enjoyer:
I’m still really worried about her
Theater Nerd:
You could go check up on her
Theater Nerd:
Someone probably needs to return Joel’s clothes
Flower Enjoyer:
You’re right, I’ll go check up on her.
Chapter 19: Oops No Empires
Chapter Text
(So this is the no empires chapter. If you wanted your irregular fix of highschool au empires check out Gulfie's Nature Wives fic, Coloring Outside the Lines which takes right after the previous chapter and is canon to this chatfic)
(Saturday 3:45 PM)
“Official Homecoming Planning Committee”
Xisuma:
Hello planning committee
Xisuma:
After our very successful announcement
Xisuma:
I would like a recap on the events of the week
ZloyXP:
Ayy you said it
Xisuma:
Just tell me what happened I’ve been missing from the past week
ZloyXP:
Right away
ZombieCleo:
Zloy’s been typing for 10 minutes and I am terrified
joehillssays:
Isn’t that normal for him?
ZombieCleo:
Yeah but it’s a recap for this week
ilmango:
It’ll be fine
ZombieCleo:
Yeah it’s fine
ZombieCleo:
It’s fine its fine its fine
Xisuma:
Are you saying that something isn’t fine?
ZombieCleo:
I just said it’s fine, X
Zedaph:
That’s just what the government wants you to think
Xisuma:
You are quite literally part of the student government Zed
Zedaph:
Oh yeah
Zedaph:
That what the other government wants you to think
ZloyXP:
Monday October 4-
Zedaph decided to calculate the curve of the world and determined the world isn’t actually flat. Doc tried doing the same thing and learned that the world is “too round”. He hasn’t been seen since.
Tuesday October 5-
Ren made a man-shaped hole inside of the student center as he ran to that one homeschooled kid’s house (I think his name is Marten or something? Is it like the animal? I never actually learned his name and at this point I don’t think I can ask anymore. I don’t know what their relationship is but he calls him his “hand” I don’t know what that means.)
Also Bruno had a “house party” in the cafeteria and asked anyone who came for housewarming gifts so I think he lives in the cafeteria now?
Wenisday October 6-
Mumbo got stuck in a washing machine and Grian tried to give him cpr
Bdubs in retaliation for last year’s throw short people day gathered the other gnomes to organize a toss tall people day with their first victim being Mumbo who was tossed into a washing machine. No idea where the washing machine came from.
Thursday October 7-
During the swim meet the blue haired kid (with pronouns) got a nosebleed and fainted so the junior captain had to carry him to the nurse’s office. Also some red haired robotics kid got stuck in the vents claiming he tripped and fell into the ceiling. I think he was hiding something in there. The junior swim captain also started a war with the robotics kid so now there’s a war between the swim team and the robotics club.
Friday October 8-
The journalism club is being criticized for its mass surveillance of the school and due to me being in the student council I am being accused of perpetuating a surveillance state. Cleo spent the entire homecoming budget. Finally Ren ran away to Disneyland.
Xisuma:
So a slow week?
ZloyXP:
Honestly nothing really happened
Xisuma:
Wait what happened to our budget
Xisuma:
Cleo did what?
ZombieCleo:
It’s not my fault
ZombieCleo:
Joe said I could
Xisuma:
Joe did what
joehillssays:
You see spending money helps the economy
Xisuma:
Joe we’re high schoolers us spending money will not help the economy to a large degree
joehillssays:
It was a lot of money
Xisuma:
I know it was a lot of money
joehillssays:
Money only has the value that you give it
Xisuma:
We needed it for Homecoming
joehillssays:
The money is going back to the people
Xisuma:
The money would have already gone back to the people in the form of a great night out
Xisuma:
Cleo at least tell me you spent it on something we can use
ZombieCleo:
It’s absolutely imperative
ZombieCleo:
I bought a whole lot of mannequins
Xisuma:
What
ZombieCleo:
They’re the perfect decoration for any theme we can possibly have
ZombieCleo:
Under the sea? Mannequins dressed up as mermaids
ZombieCleo:
Moulin Rouge? Mannequins dressed in western cloths
ZombieCleo:
Masquerade? Mannequins dressed in masks
Xisuma:
I
Xisuma:
Cleo that makes no sense
ZombieCleo:
So you don’t trust my decorating skills
ZombieCleo:
Is that what I’m hearing?
Xisuma:
Cleo our budget wasn’t just for decoration
Xisuma:
How are we going to pay the DJ
Xisuma:
How are we going to pay for catering
Xisuma:
How are we going to pay for the deposit on these foldable chairs
ZombieCleo:
You see my job is head decorator
ZombieCleo:
That’s not my problem
ZombieCleo:
That’s Joe’s problem
joehillssays:
As treasurer I take full responsibility of my irresponsibility with our money
Xisuma:
Please tell me we at least made a little money from ticket sales
Ilmango:
We’ve made zero sales
Xisuma:
Has anyone even signed up to be Homecoming royalty?
Ilmango:
Also zero signups
Xisuma:
This is a disaster
Xisuma:
If you need me I will be breaking down because Homecoming is in 2 weeks
Xisuma:
Why am I the only one worried
ZombieCleo:
This is nothing
ZombieCleo
Out of all people Xisuma you should know this
joehillssays:
Yeah we’ve done more with less
Ilmango:
It’s work to be done
Zedaph:
X we’re hermits after all
Xisuma:
Does anyone have any proposals then?
ZloyXP:
I think I know how to solve our sign up situation
ZloyXP:
The club registry form actually has a part that requires the clubs to nominate one person to homecoming court
Xisuma:
that could work
ZloyXP:
I’m so glad I read the terms and conditions
ZloyXP:
Although this probably means that my club will nominate me for it
Ilmango:
That proposes the problem, How de we get the clubs to actually nominate people
Ilmango:
There's a reason that no one has really enforced that rule before
Zedaph:
Incentive!
Zedaph:
What if they could win something for the whole club if the nominee got voted homecoming royal
ZombieCleo:
It would have to be something that everyone wants
Ilmango:
How about money?
Xisuma:
We have no money that’s the problem
ZombieCleo:
Concert Tickets?
Xisuma:
What musician would incentivize our students and could set up a concert here that quickly?
joehillssays:
I think I have a solution to that
joehillssays:
I need to contact someone
Xisuma:
Okay?
(Saturday 4:32 PM)
Private Message from Goe Gills to G-man
Goe Gills:
Grian I need a favor
G-man:
Joe I’m kinda busy right now
Goe Gills:
It’s not really urgent but it sort of is
G-man:
I’m currently in a van being driven by System Zee who’s threatening to drive us off a cliff if Doc keeps swearing
Goe Gills:
Why are you in a van?
G-man:
Martyn wants to rescue Ren from Disneyland
Goe Gills:
So nothing much going on?
G-man:
It’s been a slow week, Joe
G-man:
Anyway what favor do you need?
Goe Gills:
I need you to set up an Ariana Griande concert and give the student council free tickets to distribute
G-man:
That’s a lot Joe, what do I get in return?
Goe Gills:
Actually I want to use my Grian IOU
G-man:
Fuck
Goe Gills:
Grian??
G-man:
JOEEEEEEEE
G-man:
I think I just met god
G-man:
She’s a deer
Goe Gills:
What happened?
G-man:
Zee just swerved and almost crashed us into a lamp post
G-man:
How did he know that I swore
G-man:
Joe I am terrified
Goe Gills:
Cool but will you do it?
G-man:
Sure I guess, I have to get back to the van group chat
(Saturday 4:40 PM)
“The Dog is Not Found”
Grilbur:
I am very sorry for swearing in your vicinity
SystemHalo:
You better be young man
Dockity:
Yeah Grian, you almost killed us
Grilbur:
Doc, if we were on a minecraft server (that Xisuma maintained) I would break into your bank and trash your lovingly made bush and subsequently start a war that I would eventually win even though you would have made a sick diss track produced by Rendog’s brother.
Dockity:
It was just a joke, G
Marteorge:
I miss my liege so much I’m going to start crying
Falsarl:
Someone muffle Martyn so he doesn’t wake up the bees with his crying
Mumborpse:
Guys I only packed 3 ties and 2 of them have already been in his mouth
Grilbur:
Deal with it Mumbo
Isknap:
This van sure can fit a lot of people
(Saturday 4:51 PM)
“Official Homecoming Planning Committee”
joehillssays:
I am finally back
joehillssays:
I have secured Ariana Griande tickets and a whole concert that we can sell tickets to
Ilmango:
In hindsight that should have been the obvious answer
ZombieCleo:
Absolutely
Zedaph:
What are you guys talking about?
Ilmango;
Ariana Griande goes to our school
ZombieCleo:
She’s literally just Grian
Zedaph:
Absolutely not
Zedaph:
Grian isn’t Ariana Griande, that’s way too obvious for a secret persona
Zedaph:
Grian is literally in her name
Zedaph:
Grian is actually jpop superstar Scottsune Miku
Ilmango:
??????
ZombieCleo:
Excuse me?
joehillssays:
Anyway now we’ve got that problem solved
joehillssays:
What else do we have
Xisuma:
We have two weeks left to plan, announce, execute, and pay for the dance
ZombieCleo:
I have the perfect solution to that
ZombieCleo:
We hold Homecoming 1 week later
ZombieCleo:
On October 30th the day before halloween
Ilmango:
Interesting
Ilmango:
We’ll have both more time and the opportunity to theme the dance around halloween
ZombieCleo:
Mango is exactly on my wavelength
ZombieCleo:
You know what would be great to decorate a halloween dance with?
ZombieCleo:
Mannequins
ZombieCleo:
Also we can reuse any unused halloween decorations
Zedaph:
We can even avoid the race to the crown being a popularity contest by having it be a costume contest
ZombieCleo:
It’s good ideas like that that remind me how you got on the council
Zedaph:
Why thank you Lady Cleo
Zedaph:
Wait a minute
Xisuma:
That sounds like a great plan!
Xisuma:
I’ll send messages to all of the club presidents
Zedaph:
Are we just avoiding what Cleo said about me
ZloyXP:
I’m actually with the D&D club right now and I want to tell them in person
Xisuma:
Go right ahead then, I’ll still send one as a formality
ZloyXP:
I can’t wait to hear what they think of the Ariana Griande concert
(Saturday 5:04 PM)
“Official Homecoming Planning Committee”
ZloyXP:
Good News: fWhip fainted
Xisuma:
Lol
Chapter 20: Winterfest part 1
Summary:
Hey this chapter takes place in December while the current story takes place in October. There are certain events that will be hinted in this chapter that have yet to take place. If you don't want to know what happens, you don't have to read this side chapter.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(Thursday 7:15 PM)
Legend of Hotdog:
Happy winterfest eve eve Everyone!
Copper Dad:
I see someone’s very excited for the holidays
Legend of Hotdog:
I just love it when friends and families get together it’s my favorite time of year
Mother of Dragon:
Aww, you’re always welcome at our house Sausage
Daddy fWhip:
I think this is the first Winterfest that I’ll actually celebrate with you guys since starting highschool
Mother of Dragon:
Oh yeah you spent Hearth’s Warming with Simon’s family
Eldritch Girlboss
I didn’t know Simon was practicing
Daddy fWhip:
They only celebrate the major holidays
Legend of Hotdog:
Well we’re all celebrating together now!
Copper Daddy:
I’m just glad Scott’s dads are letting us have a Winterfest party at their house
Swinter Swonder:
What can I say? I’m spoiled
Cod-daddy:
Yeah! Did you know he has a smart tv in his be room room and a
I’m Actually Very Tall:
We get it you’ve been in his room Jimmy
Cod-daddy:
His bed is very comfy
Sharpay Evans:
Jimmy, you laid in the bed of another man????
Cod-daddy:
Joey you literally run the school’s GSA
Sharpay Evans:
Jimmy, gay jokes are one of the only things i have left
Swinter Swonder:
Also after the divorce they won’t stop competing for my love and affection
Eldritch Girlboss:
We have to unpack that later
Daddy fWhip:
Does everyone have their gifts for the gift swap
Swinter Swonder:
Absolutely
Legend of Hotdog:
Someone is going to love my gift!
Sugar(cane) Daddy:
Got mine and Grian’s got theirs
Killed a Man Feeling Good:
They’re going to love mine
Eldritch Girlboss:
Yes
Mother of Dragon:
I have mine
Copper Daddy:
Zloy and I have ours
Berry Blast:
I hope they enjoy mine
I’m Actually Very Tall:
Eeeyup
Sharpay Evans:
Absolutely!
Cod-daddy:
Yeah. Yup.
Cod-daddy:
I absolutely have my gift ready
Cod-daddy:
Don’t worry about me
Cod-daddy:
My gift is absolutely ready for the party
Daddy fWhip:
Well I’m glad everyone’s got their things in order
Daddy fWhip:
I need to get a status check from the other guests
Daddy fWhip:
Remember the party starts at midnight
Legend of Hotdog:
🎉💃
(Friday 7:23 PM)
Private message between Scott <3 and Jimmy <3
Scott <3:
Jimmy
Jimmy <3:
Yes beloved
Scott <3:
You don’t have a gift prepared do you
Jimmy <3:
No :(
Scott <3:
It’s not for me is it?
Scott <3:
Actually don’t tell me
Scott <3:
Wait tell me
Scott <3:
No I shouldn’t know
Scott <3:
I really want to know
Jimmy <3:
It isn’t you
Scott <3:
Oh thank goodness
Jimmy <3:
I need to get a present for fWhip
Scott <3:
Well then
Scott <3:
Well you do have all of tomorrow to get a gift for him
Scott <3:
I believe in you
Jimmy <3:
🥰
(Friday 8:00 AM)
SolidarityGaming created the chat “You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”
SolidarityGaming has added Smajor1995 , GeminiTay , MythicalSausage , PearlescentMoon , Grian , MumboJumbo , InTheLittleWood , Pixlriffs , ZloyXP , KatherineEliz , ShubbleYT , SmallishBeans , LDShadowlady , and JOEYGRACEFFA
Smajor1995:
Jimmy I believed in you
GeminiTay:
Jimmy this is everyone from the group chat but fWhip
ZloyXP;
And then some
InTheLittleWood:
I don’t know most of you, Hello
Grian:
Hey Martyn!
Grian:
How’s Ren doin
InTheLittleWood:
He tried to buy me Australia but it turns out a country is worth more than 7 dollars
InTheLittleWood:
Pearl! I haven’t seen you since primary
PearlescentMoon:
It’s great to hear from you
PearlescentMoon:
Are you going to the party too?
InTheLittleWood:
Yeah Ren’s taking me
SolidarityGaming:
Guys plese
SolidarityGaming:
I need a lot of help
SolidarityGaming:
And I trust all of you
Smajor1995:
Jimmy please
Pixlriffs:
This is a lot of people
SolidarityGaming:
I don’t know what to do
MythicalSausage:
You have until midnight, Jimbo
MythicalSausage:
That’s plenty of time
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You can always go the tried and true method of buying him a gift card
SolidarityGaming:
That could work
KatherineEliz:
Joey did you get your person, a gift card
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I would never stoop so low to give someone a gift card
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I actually put thought and effort into my gifts
SolidarityGaming:
Thanks Joey
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Oh
GeminiTay:
You’ve known fWhip for a pretty long time, I think you can get a good gift for him
MythicalSausage:
Yeah you should know at least two things about him
SolidarityGaming:
He likes salmon?
GeminiTay:
And?
SolidarityGaming:
He likes robots
SolidarityGaming:
Where am I supposed to get a salmon robot?
MumboJumbo:
Hey Grian doesn’t that sound familiar
Grian:
Mumbo you can’t mean
SolidarityGaming:
??
MumboJumbo:
Yeah that one pizza place
Grian:
Cody the Codman and his Marine band???
GeminiTay:
That unlocked the worst repressed memory
MythicalSausage:
I remember that fWhip loved that place
GeminiTay:
I remember how he argued with this one kid over who got to marry the salmon animatronic
MythicalSausage:
Oh yeah Sally!
Smajor1995:
His relationship with Simon and Ariana sure make a lot of sense now
Grian:
I only wore a salmon mask once okay
LDshadowLady:
That’s a lot to unpack
LDshadowLady:
That might be problematic but we don’t have to acknowledge that
LDshadowlady:
Yet
MythicalSausage:
I haven’t been there in such a long time
MumboJumbo:
It’s because they closed down after too many cases of food poisoning
MumboJumbo:
The building’s still there though
SolidarityGaming:
So you’re saying that I should sneak into the abandoned restaurant and take the broken down salmon lady and give that to fWhip?
GeminiTay:
Jimmy don’t please
ZloyXP:
I am already outside of your house with my lockpick and a glass cutter
GeminiTay:
Lizzie, please talk some sense into your brother
LDshadowLady:
Stay safe Jimmy, don’t stray too far from Zloy
SolidarityGaming:
I will Lizzie
Grian:
We’re trespassing? I want to come!
ZloyXP:
Grian we’re not trespassing. We’re “Urban Exploring”
Grian:
Okay urban exploring, let’s do it
Pixlriffs:
I would love to join you but I still need to buy supplies for the party
SmallishBeans:
It’s too bad that I’m so good at decorating that I was put in charge of decorations. If I wasn’t so good at decorating I would join the raid too, but I’m too good at decorating.
PearlescentMoon:
Yes Mr. “5’3 is technically above average if you take into account that fairies can be 2 inches tall when they want to be, so really average height is much lower than you think it is”
Grian:
I’m just glad I’m not the shortest person here
ShubbleYT:
Actually I’m the shortest person here
ShubbleYT:
Though to be fair I’m a gnome
Grian:
I’m just short
SmallishBeans:
No, Grian you’re above average
Grian:
Accept being short, Joel
ShubbleYT:
Join the short people club
Grian:
When the moon crashes into the earth, we’ll be too short for the blast to reach us
ShubbleYT:
Join us Joel!
SmallishBeans:
No, I'm not short!
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I still have to wrap my present
LDShadowLady:
That's going to take you until midnight?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I am very bad at using scissors
LDShadowLady:
Joey
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Fine I’ll help decorate too
GeminiTay:
I can help with decorations too
PearlescentMoon:
Let’s go prepare for the party guys!
ShubbleYT:
Oh yeah I still need to bake the cakes
KatherineEliz:
I can help you with that!
PearlescentMoon:
Speaking of food I need to marinate the roast beast
Smajor1995:
Do you guys want to come over to my house and cook the food there?
PearlescentMoon:
That sure would beat transporting a whole cooked beast in my car
MumboJumbo:
I’d love to help out in the kitchen
LDshadowLady:
I’m going to keep an eye on Joel
MythicalSausage:
I’ll just be in my house eating chips all alone
InTheLittleWood:
Sausage wanna join Ren, False and I when we go caroling later. Someone canceled last minute
SmallishBeans:
I’m sorry okay
MythicalSausage:
Really Martyn?
InTheLittleWood:
Just one thing
MythicalSausage:
What’s that?
InTheLittleWood:
You have to wear a maid dress
MythicalSausage:
I get to wear a maid dress!
MythicalSausage:
I’m in
(Friday 9:12 AM)
“Yes I do the Cooking”
MumboJumbo:
Maybe it was a bad idea for me to be in here
Smajor1995:
Don’t worry about it, we have more fridges
ShubblyYT:
I still have no idea how you managed to break it
MumboJumbo:
I slipped on a puddle okay
KatherineEliz:
Your fall broke the ice maker
KatherineEliz:
Now the entire kitchen is covered in ice!
MumboJumbo:
I can try to fix the fridge
Smajor1995:
I think you should stick to peeling and cutting the vegetables for the soup
ShubbleYT:
Yeah you can deal with the potatoes
MumboJumbo:
What’s a potato?
KatherineEliz:
Oh boy
ShubbleYT:
Maybe the fall did more than I thought it did
PearlescentMoon:
I’ll get the first aid kit
(Friday 10:56 AM)
“Mistletoes”
MythicalSausage:
Guys, I think I have a problem
RenTheDog:
What’s up dude
MythicalSausage:
So I’m about 10 inches taller than Joel
MythicalSausage:
Also Joel might be able to fit in an A cup
MythicalSausage:
But I need at least a D
FalseSymmetry:
I don’t think we have another maid dress for you
InTheLittleWood:
We can go shopping!
FalseSymmetry:
Martyn we got these dresses custom fit for us
InTheLittleWood:
What if we went to a tailor?
FalseSymmetry:
What tailor could possibly work fast enough to alter a maid dress that much?
MythicalSausage:
Actually I think I know who?
(Friday 1:24 AM)
“Decorator Division
SmallishBeans:
Okay who has the fake snow
SmallishBeans:
I can’t use too much parmesan in a wood chipper
SmallishBeans:
I can’t be the cause of another trash dragon infestation again
fWhip:
We were supposed to be using fake snow?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Oh that’s where all these puddles came from
fWhip:
Yeah we should probably clean those up before someone trips and falls
SmallishBeans:
Jeez fWhip how could you confuse that up?
fWhip:
I kind of have a lot on my plate right now.
fWhip:
I’m trying to contact the Dj and have someone pick them up
fWhip:
I have to keep updating Scott’s dads with what’s happening
fWhip:
I’m still getting rsvps
fWhip:
And Sausage just asked me to alter his maid dress so he can go caroling later
fWhip:
How am I supposed to Live Laugh Love in these conditions??
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Yeesh, boy you need to take care of yourself
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You can totally give some of those jobs to someone else
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Like I could definitely be the one talking to Scott’s dads
fWhip:
Please don’t hit on any more of Scott’s relatives
JOEYGRACEFFA:
fWhip please I am a loyal boyfriend
fWhip:
I know but
fWhip:
It’s just…
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You don’t think I’m responsible do you
SmallishBeans:
Guys focus we still have to decorate the entire backyard
SmallishBeans:
And there they go fighting in the parmesan
(Friday 2:01 pM)
“Baby Sitters club”
Pixlriffs:
So how’re your groups doing now?
LDShadowLady:
fWhip and Joey are fighting in a pile of shredded parmesan
PearlescentMoon:
Again?
FalseSymmetry:
What do you mean again?
PearlescentMoon:
It’s a very long story
Pixlriffs:
Do the decorators need anything from the store?
LDShadowLady:
More fake snow probably?
Pixlriffs:
How about you, False?
FalseSymmetry:
The Mistletoes are about to go caroling but we still don’t have a maid dress for Sausage
LDShadowLady:
You don’t have to have a maid dress to go caroling
FalseSymmetry:
Who goes caroling without a maid dress?
FalseSymmetry:
That’s crazy
FalseSymmetry:
Anyway can you buy a size 60 D bra
Pixlriffs:
Any specific color?
FalseSymmetry:
Sausage says red or yellow
Pixlriffs:
How’s the kitchen going?
PearlescentMoon:
Mumbo hit his head on the fridge and the entire kitchen is covered in ice
PearlescentMoon:
Too much ice
PearlescentMoon:
It’s also not melting
PearlescentMoon:
We’re also out of parmesan
FalseSymmetry:
Why not punch the ice into submission?
FalseSymmetry:
Actually I think I have pickaxe on me right now
Pixlriffs:
What a great way to break the ice
LDShadowLady:
Pix I think Zloy should keep writing your jokes
Pixlriffs:
That’s just uncalled for
Pixlriffs:
Wait I haven’t heard from Zloy in a while
Pixlriffs:
@ZloyXP where are you?
LDShadowLady:
Oof Now I have to take two idiots to the first aid kit.
(Friday 2:30 pM)
“Urban Explorers Crime Guild”
Grian:
Oh my god this is so fun!
SolidarityGaming:
Grian you scare me
Grian:
Well what else am I supposed to do when an animatronic dolphin is chasing after me?
SolidarityGaming:
I don’t know?
SolidarityGaming:
I just didn’t expect you to suplex something almost twice your height
Grian:
I got a lot of practice from Mumbo
Grian:
How’s Zloy doing?
SolidarityGaming:
He’s still trying to find a charger for his phone
SolidarityGaming:
Somehow none of these outlets are working
Grian:
Jimmy the codman is coming to your side
Grian:
You better hide
SolidarityGaming:
I need to get Zloy to stay in the closet
Grian:
That’s not a nice way to talk about queer people, Jimmy
SolidarityGaming:
I am dating a man
(Friday 3:10 PM)
“You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”
Pixlriffs:
@SolidarityGaming @Grian Where’s Zloy he’s not responding to my texts
SolidarityGaming:
Sorry his phone ran out of power
SolidarityGaming:
We’ve also been running for our lives
Grian:
He’s running for his life
Grian:
I’m fighting robots for the hell of it
Pixlriffs:
Excuse me?
Pixlriffs:
Just give one of your phones to Zloy
SolidarityGaming:
Sure
SolidarityGaming:
Pixlriffs I’m here
SolidarityGaming:
As Solidarity said my phone ran out of battery
Pixlriffs:
What’s happening on your side?
SolidarityGaming:
Oh you know
SolidarityGaming:
These robots are activating because they’re haunted by the souls of dead children
SolidarityGaming:
And they’re trying to kill us because they’re confusing us for the person who killed them long long ago
SolidarityGaming:
Or we just activated some kind of anti-theft programming left in their systems
SolidarityGaming:
Did you know that Cody the Codman’s Marine Band had a bear animatronic in it?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Is it hot?
SolidarityGaming:
Good question
SolidarityGaming:
Which part of Pix do you find more attractive, his personality or his appearance
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I want to say both
SolidarityGaming:
Then yes
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Nice
Pixlriffs:
I’m still here you know
Grian:
Oops
Grian:
Okay the Codman is strong
Grian:
Almost broke my hand
Pixlriffs:
Okay that’s actually getting dangerous
Pixlriffs:
You guys need to get out of there
Grian:
But we haven’t even found the salmon animatronic yet
SolidarityGaming:
Pix, you’re worrying over nothing
SolidarityGaming:
We’ve got everything under con
Pixlriffs:
Zloy???
Pixlriffs:
Grian???
Pixlriffs:
Jimmy???
Pixlriffs:
Are you still there?
Notes:
Tune in soon for the thrilling conclusion of this Christmas Fic
Chapter 21: Winterfest Part 2
Chapter Text
(Friday 3:10 PM)
“You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”
Pixlriffs:
@everyone This is an emergency
Smajor1995:
What is happening
Pixlriffs:
Jimmy, Zloy, and Grian’s Lives Are In Danger!
Pixlriffs:
We need to rescue them
Pixlriffs:
I need a team to come with me to get them out of a pizza place
JOEYGRACEFFA:
This sounds utterly ridiculous
Pixlriffs:
Like this is weirder than our last heist?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
You know what that’s completely fair
Pixlriffs:
I’m going to need backup
Smajor1995:
I’m going
Smajor1995:
I’m worried about Jimmy
Ldshadowlady:
I’m going too
Ldshadowlady:
Are you coming too Pearl?
PearlescentMoon:
Nah
PearlescentMoon:
Unlike Jimmy, Grian probably doesn’t need too much help
PearlescentMoon:
Also I need to defrost the kitchen
PearlescentMoon:
And cook a roast for 30+ people
PearlescentMoon:
I trust you Lizzie
Ldshadowlady:
We’ll bring them back safely for you Pearl
PearlescentMoon:
Thank you Lizzie
Pixlriffs:
That’s 3 people
Pixlriffs:
We need more
KatherineEliz:
I can’t either
KatherineEliz:
There’s too much food we need to prepare
ShubbleYT:
Ditto
MumboJumbo:
Ill go
MumboJumbo:
I could help with the animatronics
Pixlriffs:
I need more people
GeminiTay:
Pix I think it would be best if some of us stay
GeminiTay:
If too many people leave, then fWhip might get suspicious
Pixlriffs:
Our friends lives are in danger
GeminiTay:
Pix all we know is that they’re lost in an animatronic pizza place
GeminiTay:
It might not even be that serious
GeminiTay:
Their phones could have just ran out of battery
Ldshadowlady:
That’s true Jimmy forgets to charge his phone a lot
PearlescentMoon:
So does Grian to be fair
PearlescentMoon:
A lot of us still need to set up for the party
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Doesn’t Zloy have friends you can call?
Pixlriffs:
Silent and Lyarrah?
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Yeah
Pixlriffs:
I could but they’re still driving back to town today
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I had to get a gift for Lyarrah and she’s horrible to shop for
Smajor1995:
Joey!
Smajor1995:
It’s supposed to be a secret santa
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Well she’s not here
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I asked Zloy and he was really helpful
JOEYGRACEFFA:
So I want to help him
Pixlriffs:
That’s very noble of you
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I’m also getting very fed up with fWhip
Pixlriffs:
There it is
JOEYGRACEFFA:
I’m still doing this for mostly Zloy
JOEYGRACEFFA:
He went with me to a build a bear for my gift
JOEYGRACEFFA:
So I wouldn’t look sad and lonely
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Shopping alone at a build a bear
Pixlriffs:
Okay I’ll pick up everyone from Scott’s house
Ldshadowlady:
Aye aye captain
Smajor1995:
Sure Pix
MumboJumbo:
Right away
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Yes daddy
Pixlirffs:
Joey…
MythicalSausage:
I still need my bra, Pix!
Pixlriffs:
I’ll leave it and the parmesan with Pearl
SmallishBeans:
Why does Sausage need parmesan to be a maid?
Pixlriffs:
That’s your parmesan you fool
SmallishBeans:
Oh yeah
SmallishBeans:
I think we might need more
Pixlriffs:
Fine
Pixlriffs:
I’ll pick everyone up after I get more cheese
SmallishBeans:
Wooo
(Friday 3:40 PM)
“Party Prep inc.”
PearlescentMoon:
@SmallishBeans Pixlriffs just dropped off your parmesan
SmallishBeans:
Nice
PearlescentMoon:
Don’t use too much or more trash dragons will appear
SmalishBeans:
I promise I won’t
GeminiTay:
Trash dragons aren’t that bad
KatherineEliz:
Do we have to remind you what happened
GeminiTay:
No I was there
ShubbleYT:
Oh yeah how’s Hope by the way?
GeminiTay:
Oh she’s doing great
GeminiTay:
fWhip can you ask Scott’s dads if I can bring her over later
GeminiTay:
We might need her for whatever Joel is doing
fWhip:
Sure
fWhip:
But why did Scott, Lizzie and Joey just leave with Pix
SmallishBeans:
Don’t forget about Mumbo
GeminiTay:
Well
fWhip:
That doesn’t make it better?
fWhip:
Also why isn’t Jimmy here?
fWhip:
He would never miss an opportunity to go to Scott’s house
fWhip:
If anything I would have expected him to already be here when we arrived
SmallishBeans:
Who’s to say that he wasn’t already here?
SmallishBeans:
Maybe he’s in Scott’s room right now
SmallishBeans:
With Scott
Smallish:
And Lizzie, Joey, and Mumbo
fWhip:
What
GeminiTay:
Don’t listen to Joel
KatherineEliz:
Yeah Jimmy’s just been doing aquarium maintenance
KatherineEliz:
You know how he stress buys fish from the pet store
KatherineEliz:
He’s got a lot of fish tanks to change the water of
fWhip:
Yeah sure
fWhip:
What about the rest of them
PearlescentMoon:
That’s actually where the rest of them went
PearlescentMoon:
To pick up Jimmy
fWhip:
Do you really need 5 people to pick up one person
PearlescentMoon:
They’re also getting a new fridge
PearlescentMoon:
You know because Mumbo broke it
fWhip:
Okay then
fWhip:
I know you’re lying
fWhip:
But I don’t have enough time to worry about it
fWhip:
Can someone that can drive pick up the dj later
ShubbleYT:
I can pick them up
fWhip:
I meant more someone who can drive a car
ShubbleYT:
Oh fine
SmallishBeans:
I have a car
fWhip:
I’ll send you the address
(Friday 3:57 PM)
Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs , Ldshadowlady , Smajor1995 , MumboJumbo , and JOEYGRACEFFA
JOEYGRACEFFA: Uh, hello? Hello, hello? Joey Graceffa speaking. Who is this?
Pixlriffs: Joey we’re literally in the same room
JOEYGRACEFFA: I’m sorry I have phone manners
Pixlriffs: Joey do you remember the plan?
JOEYGRACEFFA: Of course I do. I brought these cat heads for a reason. Mambo you know the reason
MumboJumbo: My name is Mumbo also why do you have a tiger costume?
JOEYGRACEFFA: Why don’t you have a tiger costume? That’s so cringe, not owning 5 big cat costumes
Smajor1995: Why do I have to wear this again?
Pixlriffs: Well I looked it up online. These animatronics seem to detect faces, so if we wear some kind of face covering they won’t be able to detect any people in here
Ldshadowlady: So why not just wear normal masks?
Pixlriffs: Because that’s not as fun
MumboJumbo: What
Smajor1995: Wha
JOEYGRACEFFA: See this is why the rest of you are cringe, Pix gets it
Pixlriffs: I mean come on. We’re breaking into a fish themed restaurant wearing cat heads. What part of that isn’t funny?
Ldshadowly: I think you should stick to Zloy writing your jokes
Pixlriffs: Fine, but I’m taking the lion head
JOEYGRACEFFA: I call tiger
Smajor1995: Just give me the snow leopard
JOEYGRACEFFA: Lizzie you can have the mountain lion and I guess Mumbo can have the cheetah
Ldshadowlady: No I’m taking the cheetah, I’m not letting anyone have the opportunity to call me a cougar.
MumboJumbo: This is fine
Pixlriffs: Remember the plan we split up so we can cover as much ground as possible and we keep the call going so we can update each other constantly, I’ll go alone and then we can have teams of two
JOEYGRACEFFA: I call Mumbo!
MumboJumbo: Why are you so enthusiastic
JOEYGRACEFFA: I wanted to go with Pix but you’re the next best option I don’t want to deal with Scott or Lizzie right now
Smajor1995: What does that mean
Ldshadowlady: Excuse me
JOEYGRACEFFA: Like I expect a sarcastic remark from you every so often but you’re being oddly quiet and Lizzie’s got this killer look on her
Smajor1995: Well sorry for being worried
Ldshadowlady: You’ve seen Jimmy he’s kind of helpless
JOEYGRACEFFA: I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit. Like yeah I saw him be attacked by a raccoon and almost get rabies but that’s not the point. The point is he didn’t get rabies and I haven’t seen him be attacked by a raccoon ever since
Smajor1995: That doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in someone Joey
JOEYGRACEFFA: Well that is your boyfriend and your brother you’re talking about so remember that
Ldshadowlady: Okay you might be right
Pixlriffs: Everyone remember keep your wits about you and let’s go on
(Friday 4:18 PM)
“Mistletoes”
MythicalSausage:
I just picked up the maid dress and bra from Scott’s house and it just fits
MythicalSausage:
It also smells a lot like cheese
InTheLittleWood:
Caroling is about to start soon
InTheLittleWood:
Just meet us in the park
RenTheDog:
We’re starting in the south side
FalseSymmetry:
Does everyone have their weapons ready
MythicalSausage:
What
(Friday 4:40 PM)
Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady, Smajor1995, MumboJumbo, and JOEYGRACEFFA
MumboJumbo: Help Joey’s just been singing “I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time” under his breath this entire time
JOEYGRACEFFA: No I wasn’t
MumboJumbo: That’s what it sounded like
JOEYGRACEFFA: Trust me those weren’t the lyrics I was singing ;)
Smajor1995: What the heck was that sound
JOEYGRACEFFA: A semicolon and and a closed parentheses
Pixlriffs: Anybody have any updates?
Ldshadowlady: Scott and I found an electronic lock in what I think is the east wing of the arcade.
Smajor1995: I’m trying to hack into but this might be above my experience level
Ldshadowlady: I hear something coming from inside
Pixlriffs: Just wait until Mumbo or I can get to you
Ldshadowlady: We’ll try to hide until we see you. But you should be careful, codman seems to be blocking off the entrance of the arcade
JOEYGRACEFFA: Guys I just found a security badge! It was on this sticky pile on the floor. Oh it’s underneath a box propped up with a stick and oh nice. Guys I got a chunk of cheese!
???: Are you lost?
MumboJumbo: Joey keep it down
???: Your family is looking for you.
JOEYGRACEFFA: Mumbo!
???: Your parents want you to follow me.
JOEYGRACEFFA: Take the badge!
Pixlriffs: Guys what’s happening?
MumboJumbo: Joey!
JOEYGRACEFFA: It’s got my wing! Ow Ow
???: Don't worry, you're safe with me.
JOEYGRACEFFA: Mumbo run!
JOEYGRACEFFA has left the call
Ldshadowlady: Joey…
Mumbo: The cheese got him
(Friday 5:20 PM)
“Party Prep inc.”
PearlescentMoon:
The roast has finally started cooking
KatherineEliz:
Woo ╰(*°▽°*)╯
fWhip:
It smells amazing so far
ShubbleYT:
The cake is also done and just needs decorating
KatherineEliz:
Oh I love decorating cakes
KatherineEliz:
I could use some help making enough icing though
ShubbleYT:
I’d be happy to help, sweetie
KatherineEliz:
(❁´◡`❁)
fWhip:
That sounds good but what’s up with the expanding puddle of ice coming from the kitchen
PearlescentMoon:
I just decided to ignore it
ShubbleYT:
I think it brings the place together
SmallishBeans:
There is no ice in Scott’s house
fWhip:
I think this might be a problem
(Friday 6:15 PM)
“Mistletoes”
MythicalSausage:
When you invited me to go caroling I didn’t expect the hunger games
RenTheDog:
What did you think caroling meant?
MythicalSausage:
You know singing songs and stuff
Falsesymmetry:
That’s because C.A.R.O.Ling is actually an acronym
InTheLittleWood:
Community Action Roleplay Of L-somethING
MythicalSausage:
What does the L stand for?
InTheLittleWood:
No one remembers
RenTheDog:
I’m pretty sure it was probably a place
Falsesymmetry:
Where are you right now?
MythicalSausage:
I’m currently in a tree
MythicalSausage:
I may only be 6 feet tall but I am a thicc 6 feet
MythicalSausage:
I don’t think this tree can carry me for much longer
Falsesymmetry:
Is there anyone around you?
MythicalSausage:
There’s a tall kid who looks like Joey from a distance holding a box beneath me
MythicalSausage:
He looks like he drinks half and half
RenTheDog:
You know the toy crossbow we gave you
MythicalSausage:
Yeah?
Falsesymmetry:
Aim for the head
MythicalSausage:
Okay…
MythicalSausage:
He fell face first into the snow
RenTheDog:
Sausage grab the box and get out of there!
MythicalSausage:
Guys he’s not moving anymore
Falsesymmetry:
He’s just acting dead
MythicalSausage:
I don’t think he’s breathing
InTheLittleWood:
He’s a really good actor
FalseSymmetry:
Just run
MythicalSausage:
Okay
(Friday 6:50 PM)
Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady, Smajor1995 and MumboJumbo
Smajor1995: That was a bust all we found were some tapes
Ldshadowlady: We need to find Joey
MumboJumbo: Were there any keys?
Ldshadowlady: I found a security watch
MumboJumbo: Oh, anything weird about it?
Ldshadowlady: It’s got access to the Cameras!
Pixlriffs: Brilliant!
MumboJumbo: Do you see anything?
Ldshadowlady: One of the cameras is broken but the microphone is working. I think I hear singing?
Smajor1995: What are they singing?
Ldshadowlady: Something explicit
Pixlriffs: Joey!
MumboJumbo: Joey!
Ldshadowlady: I’m trying to see if anyone is close enough to it. Mumbo go to your right you’re like a few paces away from it
MumboJumbo: oh I hear it
???: Hey kid come on out. We’re only trying to help
Ldshadowlady: Mumbo hide
MumboJumbo: What??
Ldshadowlady: Axolotl animatronic 6’o’clock
MumboJumbo: I don’t know how to read analog
Ldshadowlady: Just hide
???: I bet you don't have friends
MumboJumbo: That’s just rude
Ldshadowlady: Mumbo grab the golf club right next to you
???: I heard that
MumboJumbo: okay
loud bashing sound
???: My face. My FAcE. MY FACE AAHGH!!!!
Ldshadowlady: Now Run!
MumboJumbo: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
???: *growls* GIve me back my eyyyyeeeees!!
MumboJumbo: No Get away!
???: On your marks get set go !
MumboJumbo: She’s catching up
???: I’m the best! Nobody will miss you!
MumboJumbo: Get off of m-
MumboJumbo has left the call
(Friday 7:35 PM)
“Mistletoes”
Falsesymmetry:
Sausage get in the sleigh!
MythicalSausage:
There’s a sleigh??
Falsesymmetry:
Yeah the one driven by wolves
MythicalSausage:
That’s just Ren driving a van
Falsesymmetry:
He’s an actor
RenTheDog:
I actually have ¼ wolf blood from my mother’s side
InTheLittleWood:
What’s the rest?
RenTheDog:
You know some boerboel some poodle and I’m pretty sure I got some corgi
Falsesymmetry:
Get off the phone while driving
InTheLittleWood:
How’s the other teams going
Falsesymmetry:
3 of ten teams have already gone down
MythicalSausage:
Guys I see the green team running for us
Falsesymmetry:
They’re coming for revenge.
Falsesymmetry:
Ren speed up!
(Friday 8:01 PM)
“Party Prep inc.”
fWhip:
Okay a few more hours till the party starts
fWhip:
Status on the food?
PearlescentMoon:
The roast is cooking on time
ShubbleYT:
Cakes and cookies have been decorated
KatherineEliz:
And they’re chilling in the kitchen
fWhip:
Status on the decorations?
SmallishBeans:
Decorations have been completed
SmallishBeans:
I just need to finish the ice sculpture
fWhip:
When was the ice sculpture part of the plan?
SmallishBeans:
When the ice decided to freeze the fountain
fWhip
It did what now??
fWhip:
Gem status on the ice????
GeminiTay:
Well it’s cold
fWhip:
What
GeminiTay:
It’s also taking over the entire house
KatherineEliz:
Yeah me and Shrub are currently huddling together in the guest room for warmth
ShubbleYT:
Yup the door was frozen over with ice
ShubbleYT:
At least Katherine’s pretty warm
PearlescentMoon:
Also the roast is cooking but the door is also sealed with ice
fWhip:
Scott’s dads trusted me and now this is happening
fWhip:
How am I supposed to deal with this
GeminiTay:
I’ve been trying to use fire magic on it this entire time and even then it’s not melting
GeminiTay:
You’re going to have to tell Mr. Smajor and Mr. Crew
fWhip:
Do I really?
GeminiTay:
Yes
fWhip:
Okay..
fWhip:
By the way Joel, you’re going to have to go pick up the Dj
fWhip:
I just sent you the address
SmallishBeans:
But the Ice sculpture
(Friday 8:43 PM)
Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady, and Smajor1995
Pixlriffs: Guys we have less than an hour and a half till the party starts
Ldshadowlady: And we’ve lost 5 people. This is such a good day we’re having
Smajor1995: Guys I think I have a plan. You have to let the codman get me
Ldshadowlady: Scott we still don’t know if my brother is dead yet
Smajor1995: Not like that. It’s just we haven’t seen Sally or Axel since they got Joey and Mumbo. I think they might be knocked out
Pixlriffs: Oh. So if Cody gets you you can pretend to get knocked out
Ldshadowlady: And you can send a message to us when you see the others
Smajor1995: Just tell me where to go with the watch
Ldshadowlady: Good luck.
Smajor1995: I want him back
Ldshadowlady: He seems to be near the main stage
Smajor1995: Oh I know exactly where that is
~~~~
Smajor1995: I see him
Ldshadowlady: approach carefully
???: Don’t be scared
Smajor1995: You know he’s a lot bigger in person
???: We’re only trying to help you
Smajor1995: He’s approaching really fast
Pixlriffs: Remember just go limp
???: Where you going?
Smajor1995: Guys help I’m a coward
???: Run run run! You can hide, but you can’t hide!
Ldshadowlady: Remember you’re doing this for Jimmy
Smajor1995: fine. HEy b-Big guy Over here!
???: Game over Kid!
Smajor1995 has left the call
Ldshadowlady: Now what do we do?
Pixlriffs: Now we just wait
(Friday 9:12 PM)
Private message between fWhip and Alinar Smajor
fWhip:
Mr. Smajor we may have an accident
Alinar Smajor:
fWhip we trusted you
Alinar Smajor:
What happened?
fWhip:
Ice is taking over from the entire house?
Alinar Smajor:
Oh is that all?
fWhip:
What do you mean is that all?
fWhip:
Two of my friends are stuck in your guest room
fWhip:
The entire kitchen is frozen
fWhip:
You don’t have a fountain anymore
fWhip:
It’s an ice sculpture of a deer
Alinar Smajor:
This happens every year
Alinar Smajor:
You see whenever Scott’s cousin visits they turn the thermostat to “Eternal Winter”
fWhip:
What
Alinar Smajor:
He’s such a little prankster
Alinar Smajor:
He takes a lot after his great uncle than his grandfather.
fWhip:
What should I do then?
Alinar Smajor:
Just turn up the thermostat and everything should no longer be icy.
fWhip:
Thank you so much sir
Alinar Smajor:
Have fun at the party
(Friday 9:20 PM)
Private message from Smajor1995 to Ldshadowlady and Pixlriffs
Smajor1995:
Check Joey’s twitter
(Friday 9:21 PM)
Transcript of a call between Pixlriffs, Ldshadowlady
Ldshadowlady: What the heck
Pixlriffs: really
Ldshadowlady: Wait there’s a location pinned in the replies
Pixlriffs: Joey's a genius these are his exact coordinates! Let’s go!
(Friday 9:32 PM)
“You’re all people I trust and I need help getting a gift for fWhip”
SolidarityGaming:
Gift acquired!
Grian:
That was awful
ZloyXP;
At least my phone is charged now
Pixlriffs:
That was exhausting
GeminiTay:
I’m glad you guys are safe
PearlescentMoon:
Can someone explain what happened?
KatherineEliz:
Yeah can someone give us a recap?
ZloyXP:
Normally I would give you a recap but I am too tired for that
JOEYGRACEFFA: I can give a recap with some help
JOEYGRACEFFA has added WilburSoot
WilburSoot: Hello
Smajor1995: Ugh
WIlburSoot: That was rude
Smajor1995: Says the person who kidnapped my boyfriend
WilburSoot:
Excuse you I didnt kidnap your boyfriend
WilburSoot:
I had a pizza party with friends
KatherineEliz:
Does anyone want to explain who this is?
WilburSoot:
I’m Joey’s fake ex-boyfriend
ShubbleYT:
What
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Oh yeah
JOEYGRACEFFA:
We had the same agent
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Oh yeah how is Nicholas
WilburSoot:
He’s an absolute saint
JOEYGRACEFFA:
That’s goood to hear
Ldshadowlady:
Joey keep explaining
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Early on in his career our agent wanted to get his name out there so he wanted to cause some ripples by saying that he and I were dating and then after a while I wanted to get out of the spotlight so we staged a realistic breakup and now we’re friends who talk on twitter occasionally
KatherineEliz:
I still don’t think that explains why you were kidnapping our friends
WilburSoot:
I was lonely
WIlburSoot:
Sometimes hanging out with fish animatronics can’t replace the void in your heart for companionship
ShubbleYT:
I completely understand
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Though that still doesn’t explain why you’re in town?
WilburSoot:
Oh you know I was hanging out with your brother
JOEYGRACEFFA:
Stop saying that I’m related to your friend Randy
WilburSoot:
His name isn’t Randy
JOEYGRACEFFA:
It’s Ran something. Anyway he looks like he drinks half and half
WilburSoot:
See this is why we broke up
JOEYGRACEFFA:
We were never really dating
SmallishBeans:
Oh hey you guys are at the same place the DJ is at
WilburSoot:
Surprise?
(Friday 9:57 PM)
“Mistletoes”
MythicalSausage:
Sorry I made you guys lose the games
Falsesymmetry:
Hey there’s no losing in these games
InTheLittleWood:
Yeah there’s only people that had fun and those that didn’t
MythicalSausage:
I mean we only made it 6th out of 10
RenTheDog:
Those green guys really did a number on us
RenTheDog:
But it still was a fun time
RenTheDog:
Do you wanna join us next time?
MythicalSausage:
Now I know what’s going on I think I’ll know for next time
MythicalSausage:
I would love to join
InTheLittleWood:
Wooo!
(Saturday 12:00 AM)
Transcripts of various gift exchanges at the party
Mumbo: I’m sorry about this gift
Silent: Me too, I couldn’t think of anything else
Mumbo: Oh my goodness, a potato
Silent: You also got me a potato too
Mumbo: This is the best gift I could ever get
Silent: I think I love you
Mumbo: *bites lip*
Katherine: I got you this
Shrub: Katherine I love it!
Katherine: I sewed it myself
Shrub: It’s a beautiful little wolf
Shrub: I wish I got you a gift but I’ll give you this instead
Shrub: *kisses Katherine
Katherine: Don’t look at me!
Shrub: I love you!
Shrub: Sausage I got you leather jacket
Sausage: How do I look?
Shrub: Leather jacket on a maid dress is such a strong look for you
Sausage: Every look is a strong look on me!
Sausage: I got you your own crown!
Joey: Sausage I love it
Sausage: You know now you can feel like the king of the world whenever you want
Joey: I love it even more
Sausage: So I’m sorry about what happened with your ex
JoeyYou’re such a good friend for helping me through that
Sausage: I think you deserve a lot more than what he could you
Joey: Thank you Sausage. You got to stop crying
Joey: Because when you cry I start to cry
Sausage: But When you cry, I want to cry more
Joey: Lyarrah!
Lyarrah: Yes?
Joey: I got you an entire wardrobe for your teddy!
Lyarrah: Whoa, Joey that’s so thoughtful
Joey: thanks Zloy helped me out a lot with it
Joey: I may not know you very well but I still wanted to give you a good gift
Lyarrah: I love it
Grian: What is this?
Lyarrah: A little phone charm
Grian: oh my god there’s a little me in this bottle
Lyarrah: Yeah you can hang it on your phone or put it on a keychain
Grian: Lyarrah I want more of them. I want to mass produce them
Grian: That’s how much I love it
Lyarrah: I even have an ariana version
Grian: I’m going to keep these to myself, you know how the public gets about bottles
Lyarrah: Oh don’t remind me
Grian: Pearl! How do you like my gift?
Pearl: This box sure is heavy
Grian: How are you doing that?
Pearl: Doing what
Grian: You’re shaking it like it’s nothing
Pearl: Why what’s in here?
Grian: I got you a set of weights because you broke your last ones
Pearl: Oh really?
Grian: I’m going to have to buy a heavier set aren’t I
Pearl: Well you said it, lil bro
Grian: Ahhh
Pearl: It’s still really thoughtful. I love it
Pearl: Hey Lizzie I got you this necklace
Lizzie: Oh lovely!
Pearl: Glad you like it
Lizzie: It’s pearls! Just like your name
Lizzie: What lovely wordplay!
Lizzie: Ren I am the one with your gift
Ren: What is it?
Lizzie: It is a crown I fashioned out of seashells from the seashore
Ren: I love it so much, I owe you my life
Ren: *kneels* my queen
Lizzie: I would not go that far
Joel: I know we don’t talk that much but I did try to think really hard about what to give you
Katherine: It’s a flower pot?
Joel: I know it’s probably really not much-
Katherine: Joel, it's a lovely gift! You even made it yourself. It’s so big too I can fit an entire titan arum in here.
Joel: Thank you Katherine
Katherine: No. Thank you, Joel.
fWhip: Don’t you love it?
Joel: I can’t tell what this is
fWhip: It’s a homemade roomba
Joel: A roomba? But where are the knives, fWhip? A roomba needs knives
fWhip: I knew you were going to ask that so step back and watch
Joel: Oh my god it has spring loaded knives!
Joel: fWhip, you’re so handsome!
Pixlriffs: This is the 4th time we’re each others gift givers
ZloyXP: Did you rig it again like I did?
Pixlriffs: Of course I did
ZloyXP: I wouldn’t expect anything less
Pixlriffs: Well I hope you enjoy my gift
ZloyXP: Really… Scented candles?
Pixlriffs: What can I say. You reek of death
ZloyXP: Well I got you this chicken plushie
Pixlriffs: Get that demon away from me! So much time wasted for a single block of chicken…
ZloyXP: Hahaha
Pixlriffs: What are you laughing about?
ZloyXP: Oh you know I can’t wait for next year. When I get to give you an even worse gift
Pixlriffs: Merry Winterfest, Zloy
ZloyXP: You too Pix
Scott: Merry Winterfest
Jimmy: Merry WInterfest!
Scott: I’m your gift giver!
Jimmy: Oh really? With that package behind you I couldn’t tell
Scott: Hey stop staring at my package
Jimmy: Scott!
Scott: I mean we’re in public right now. If we were in private I-
Jimmy: Scott
Scott: Fine here’s your gift
Jimmy: Yo it’s a fish tank
Scott: Remember when you decided to take me to a pet store on a date to stare at the fish.
Jimmy: Yeah. I remember you enjoyed it as well
Scott: Well that’s when I decided that I love you
Jimmy: Scott… I
Scott: I mean you don’t have to say it now, I just think it was time and I was juggling over it in my head over whether I should say it now and I know we haven’t been dating for that long but Katherine and Shrub already have plans of going to same college and moving in together and I’m really scared that I’ve been rambling for too long and
Jimmy: I love you too. What did you have in mind to stock this tank with?
Scott: I thought the pea puffers were pretty cute
fWhip: So this is the reason why you couldn’t help today at all?
Jimmy: Yup…
fWhip: Why is he here?
Wilbur: Sup
Jimmy: You see it’s part of the gift
fWhip: And it’s?
Jimmy: I got you Sally the Salmon!
fWhip: From the rundown pizza place that my parents would always take me, Gem, and Sausage to when we were small?
Jimmy: Here it is
fWhip: Oh my god you actually did it! But those animatronics are really dangerous
Jimmy: I almost died a lot
fWhip: That makes this gift even better! Jimmy, I love it. But why is he here?
Jimmy: Because legally he owns the Pizzeria due to squatters rights and Sally does legally belong to him but since he kidnapped me we decided on a deal so that you guys have shared custody and I don’t call the authorities on him.
fWhip: What
Wilbur: Let’s discuss this privately
Jimmy: Bye fWhip and Wilbur
fWhip: You can’t let him take me! Hey put me down
(Saturday 12:30 AM)
“D&D group 3”
Legend of Hotdog:
Merry Winterfest!
Cod-daddy:
I love my gift so much
Cod-daddy:
But I especially love the person who gave it to me
Swinter Swonder:
I love you too
Mother of Dragon:
Hey is it just me or does the Dj look familiar
Sugar(cane) Daddy:
I’ve never seen him before
Legend of Hotdog:
Wait I think I see it too
Mother of Dragon:
Oh my god
Legend of Hotdog:
It’s him!
Cod-daddy:
Who???
Legend of Hotdog:
It’s the kid that always argued over who got to marry Sally the Salmon with fWhip
Swinter Swonder:
Wow, what a small world
Sharpay Evans:
Oh is that why fWhip dragged Wilbur to a broom closet
Mother of Dragon:
They what now???
(Saturday 12:31 AM)
Inside the broom closet
fWhip: So why did you drag me here
Wilbur: I just want to test you
fWhip: Test me?
Wilbur: I don’t think you deserve her
fWhip: Sally’s not real
Wilbur: Well I’m still testing you
fWhip: Then will you let me leave?
Wilbur: Sure what are the 5 types of pacific salmon
fWhip: easy! Pink, for your pinky. Silver, for your ring finger. King because it’s the biggest. Sockeye because it’s #1. And -
Wilbur: Chum rhymes with thumb
fWhip: Chum rhymes with thumb
Wilbur: You understand me so much
fWhip: I’ve never met someone as passionate about salmon
Wilbur: Our faces are pretty close right now
fWhip: Yeah…
Wilbur: Are we going to fight or make out right now
fWhip: I don’t know
(Saturday 12:38 AM)
“D&D group 3”
Cod-daddy:
He’s been in the closet for 7 minutes now
Swinter Swonder:
@Daddy fWhip what happened
Daddy fWhip:
I think I have a boyfriend now?
Mother of Dragon:
What??
Legend of Hotdog:
Merry Winterfest and to all a happy new year!
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