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The glow from the moon illuminated most of the room, doing more work than the dim standing lamp in the corner. Kaoru glanced at the clock on the wall. The monotone ticking was the only sound in the room. It got louder each second as the anticipation of many humans piled on; it was only a few minutes till midnight. Till a new year starts.
Time was weird. The year went by both unbearably slow as watching paint dry and aggressively fast as the waves crashing the shore during a thunderstorm. There were ups and downs—overall, Kaoru would consider this a pretty good year.
However, the way he started the year was something unforgettable. Kaoru looked at the balcony which was a few feet away from the couch he was sitting on. There stood that person. That person who unintentionally barged into his world and turned his entire outlook on life upside down. One could argue that now, this person was his world. The brown haired man kept looking expectantly up at the sky and back down to his wrist watch. The excitement was obvious. Kaoru felt endeared. Just as Kaoru was about to call out to this man, he turned around, giving Kaoru one of his usual smiles. The moonlight gently touched his skin, making him glow in an ethereal way where one would describe as seeing a garden in heaven filled with various flowers blooming, each unique in their own way.
But even the flowers in heaven would look mediocre compared to this man.
Kaoru's breath hitched. The man in question didn't realize the effect he had on Kaoru and went back to look at the sky. "Hakaze," he called out with his deep voice, giving a small glance back. "Why are you still sitting there? The fireworks are gonna be set off in any minute! Come here!"
Kaoru didn't reply back. He simply got up from the couch and made his way to the man. Instead of standing side by side like Kaoru would have done in the past, he went ahead and hugged the brown haired man from behind, wrapping his arm around the man's torso and resting his chin on the man's shoulder. Kaoru heard a chuckle from the other and felt a pair of hands against his own ones. Kaoru's heart swelled. He breathed in the now familiar scent of the other. The scent that he now associated with comfort. It brought Kaoru the same level of peace the ocean would, or even more.
Kaoru tightened his hold. He would never get over the fact that this person, this beautiful angel, this human that can rival the sun when it comes to making something feel alive, that Morisawa Chiaki, was his one and only boyfriend.
Kaoru thought back to the exact moment he took the leap and confessed to Chiaki. It was just before the beginning of the year, during the night, moments before the fireworks were set off.
Both Chiaki and Kaoru decided to stop under a tree. The ground was slightly elevated and there were barely any people around. The crowd was far away from them. This spot was wonderful to watch the upcoming fireworks show. In fact, the Kaoru who had never faced the realization would have brought a cute girl here. It was quite romantic afterall. Perfect for a date.
"Moricchi-" Kaoru gulped. He couldn't believe that he was about to do this. He clenched and unclenched his hands, nerves running wild within him as if he was underwater, holding his breath to not drown; almost failing. "I have something to tell you."
"What is it, Hakaze? Do you need any help? Is something wrong? You don't look so well." Worried eyes stared back at Kaoru. Oh those beautiful red eyes. They may not be blue like the ocean but Kaoru was certain that the longer he looked into them, the more he was drowning under that gaze—burning—his senses being engulfed by this sunshine; nothing else existed.
Kaoru was scared. This confession meant a lot to him. The journey of acceptance that he indeed liked- no- loved Chiaki was ruthless. But, how could Kaoru be scared when the epitome of comfort was here with him? No matter how this would go, Kaoru was glad to meet Chiaki in his lifetime.
Kaoru gently grabbed Chiaki's hand that was reaching up to touch his forehead. Intertwining their fingers, Kaoru looked back at Chiaki's eyes, this time with determination instead of fear.
"Moricchi. You- You mean a lot to me-"
"Eh? Why are you saying this suddenly?" Bewilderment was obvious in his face. Kaoru's fondness towards this brown haired man grew more. Just how much will his love expand? At this rate even this planet would be too small to harbor these feelings.
Kaoru gave Chiaki a soft smile. "Just listen to me, okay?"
The confusion didn't disappear but Chiaki gave him a nod, squeezing Kaoru's hand.
"You mean so much. You… I can't believe I'm saying this out loud," said Kaoru, his voice almost a whisper at the end. "You helped me figure out things. Things that I had been avoiding about myself. You helped me realize that I'm… that I'm… Why is this still so difficult?"
At this point, Chiaki's eyes were wide as saucers. However, it quickly morphed into a comforting and encouraging look. Shoulders slightly shaking, Kaoru could sense the tears that were threatening to spill out. He felt Chiaki's other hand reach up to his cheek and wipe away something wet. Oh. He wasn't able to hold back the tears.
"You can do it, Hakaze."
Such a simple sentence but Kaoru felt like a mountain was lifted off his shoulders. He let out a choked sob. Chiaki really was an amazing hero.
"I'm- I'm- I like men that way-"
"I'm so proud of you Hakaze—"
"And I'm in love with you."
"—and know that I don't think- wait what?" Chiaki's gasp was drowned by the exploding fireworks in the sky.
Just like that day, the sky was filled with multitude of colours, adding colour to the blank canvas, all in different shapes and sizes, booming into life but disappearing just as quick as it appeared. However, leaving a lasting impression in one's heart.
Chiaki was the same for Kaoru, but he didn't disappear. He stayed.
Kaoru could hear the sounds of amazement and wonder Chiaki let out as they watched the fireworks.
"Hakaze, isn't this sight beautiful?"
Kaoru nodded into Chiaki's neck. "Yes Moricchi, you're a beautiful sight to see."
"Hakaze!" Chiaki turned slightly to his side to face Kaoru, giving a playful but disapproving look. "Too cliché…"
Kaoru hummed, a mischievous smile forming on his lips as he noticed the tinge of red on Chiaki's ears. "You still like it."
Chiaki didn't respond to that, and chose to turn back around to face the fireworks again but he leaned further into Kaoru's arms. They let the fireworks be the only noise around them, focusing back on the lovely show up in the sky.
A few minutes went by, and Kaoru decided that he, once again, had something to say, or rather, something to do.
He brought his face closer to Chiaki's ear so that he didn't need to raise his voice over the ongoing fireworks.
"Chiaki."
Kaoru felt Chiaki shudder a bit around his arms. The ever so beautiful ruby eyes greeted his murky brown once again, just like that day.
"What is it, Kaoru?" Chiaki whispered back, purposely not raising his voice so this moment would not shatter.
Kaoru felt so many things towards this man. From wonder to admiration and all the way to love. He hoped that his gaze was able to convey all of these feelings to Chiaki. After all, as the famous saying said, the eyes were the windows to one's soul.
Fully turning Chiaki around, now one of Kaoru's hands held the brown haired man's hips as the other reached up to his face, brushing away a strand of hair and then gently holding his chin.
"Can I kiss you?"
It may seem odd, but Kaoru never kissed Chiaki on the lips before throughout the year. It wasn't because they didn't get an opportunity. It was because Kaoru was still getting used to the idea of showing physical affection towards a man romantically. At first, he was even hesitant to hold Chiaki's hand after he had the realization that yes, Chiaki accepted his confession and now they were dating. However, whenever Kaoru ignored that horrible feeling and held Chiaki's hand, his heart would thump so loud and butterflies would soar within his soul. It was a slow but an easy process to physically show how much love his little heart stored for this hero.
Chiaki simply nodded and closed his eyes. Kaoru took a moment to take in the beautiful sight like he always did. Chiaki was a work of art and needed to be appreciated every second of the day. Once again Kaoru realized his heart was thrashing around. So loud. Chiaki looked calm, but Kaoru soon noticed that as the seconds went by Chiaki's ears were turning so red to the point it rivaled his eyes. It comforted Kaoru. Chiaki was getting nervous too.
After one final look, Kaoru leaned in.
Their lips touched. Kaoru had kissed many women before but never a man. Never someone he loved very deeply. Chiaki's lips felt firm but soft against his. He could sense Chiaki's arms going up to his shoulders—Chiaki's fingers tangling with Kaoru's hair, lightly pulling. Kaoru could no longer hear the fireworks, his own heartbeat overpowering every other sound. His breath ran short and once again Kaoru was at the sea, underwater, letting the waves take him wherever fate decided. This time he didn't have to hold his breath. He could breathe. He felt free.
They both parted away for a moment. Kaoru took in Chiaki's blissful expression and leaned in once again, slightly more aggressive than the first time.
Kaoru loved that expression. He would love to see it again. He loved Chiaki's lips. He loved kissing Chiaki. He loved Chiaki. He loved him so much. Kaoru wished to shower his love to Chiaki every single day as much as possible. He wanted Chiaki to know. No one else made Kaoru feel this way.
Finally, their lips parted again. Kaoru rested his forehead on Chiaki's and gave him a small smile. Chiaki smiled back, not the usual bright grin but rather a soft, delicate one, where Kaoru felt so much love behind it.
"Happy Anniversary, Moricchi…"
Chiaki blinked, as if he was processing those words and let out a laugh. "Oh Hakaze, starting the year with something new like last time, are you?"
Kaoru bashfully smiled at that. "I thought it would be romantic."
"That's the same response you gave me last year!"
"Time is a flat circle, Moricchi."
Chiaki gave a small peck before stepping away to go inside. "I still remember that day so well…"
"I said I'm in love with you!" Kaoru yelled out, doing his best to speak over the booming fireworks. Chiaki took a step back at those words. The brown haired man's face was completely unreadable to Kaoru.
"It's- it's okay if you don't like me back!" Kaoru started rambling in panic. "I just wanted you to know because this is a big deal to me, you know? After all, you know how I was before, only looking at women—which I regret by the way—but then I got to know you and, and- oof!"
Kaoru was interrupted by a sudden weight crashing onto him, knocking the air out of his lungs. Chiaki was hugging him. Hugging him so tight that he could barely breathe. He could feel Chiaki's breath on his neck along with something else. Oh. Chiaki was crying too.
"I love you too!" said Chiaki. Kaoru could hear the choked sob that followed it. The arms around him got tighter. "I love you so much too. I loved you for so long-"
"Moricchi-" Kaoru tried to inform Chiaki.
"No! Listen to me! Hakaze, I'm so proud of you. It must have been so difficult. I'm really glad-"
"Moricchi please-"
"-that you told me. You're not weird Hakaze-"
"Moricchi!" Kaoru screamed out as Chiaki's grip somehow tightened further.
"...Hakaze-"
"Moricchi I can't breathe please-"
"Eh? Hakaze? Hakaze! Oh god don't pass out!"
Chiaki came back to the balcony and stood in front of Kaoru. He was holding a small box in his hands which was neatly tied up with a ribbon.
"This is for you," said Chiaki as he held out the box.
"Oh?" Kaoru questioned. He took the box from Chiaki's hands and looked at it. He brought it close to his ear and jiggled it to try to figure out what was inside.
"Just open it Hakaze."
Kaoru gave Chiaki a bashful grin. He proceeded to carefully untie the ribbon and open the lid, all while Chiaki was starting expectantly at him.
It was two matching bracelets. One was in multiple shades of blue and white, tiny seashells hanging from it, while the other was in reds and browns, imitating the burning sun, with red beads decorating it. It was supposed to look like fire but Kaoru couldn't help but think the two bracelets looked like the sea and the shore on a sunny day.
"The seashells reminded me of you," whispered Chiaki, breaking the silence. "What do you think?"
The slight nervousness in Chiaki's voice didn't go unnoticed by Kaoru even if the hero tried to mask it. "I love it, Moricchi. They're amazing."
Chiaki took the blue bracelet from the box and grabbed one of Kaoru's hands. He carefully clasped the two ends together, letting out a satisfied hum after seeing it rest on Kaoru's wrist. "It does suit you well."
"Let me do the same for you." said Kaoru as he passed the box to Chiaki after taking the red bracelet. Once he was done, he put his wrist next to Chiaki's and couldn't help but smile at the sight.
"Such a cute gift from my Moricchi, who would have thought. You really are a ladies man," said Kaoru, his tone teasing while leaning in to give a peck to Chiaki's cheek. "Too bad though. I snatched you away from everyone else."
Chiaki laughed at that statement. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Both the men were walking down the road. All that was remaining in the night sky were stars. The fireworks show finished long ago. Chiaki insisted that he would walk Kaoru to his dorm, and Kaoru couldn't refuse even if being next to this brown haired man caused his heart to run a marathon every time. Kaoru especially couldn't refuse, remembering the fact Chiaki said he loved Kaoru back.
Usually, Chiaki would be standing a lot closer to Kaoru. Usually, Chiaki would have grabbed Kaoru's hand by now, dragging him down the street when no one was in sight. He would laugh, tell random stories that happened to him and Kaoru would listen, loving Chiaki's voice in every passing moment.
Except, this time it wasn't the usual. Right now, they both were aware the feelings they have for each other was mutual.
Kaoru wanted to hold Chiaki's hand, but the idea of it being perceived as being more than friends still scared him. He glanced at Chiaki, only to find the other was looking at him too. Blush rising to his face, Kaoru immediately looked away. He sighed. Things won't be the usual anymore. Suddenly, Kaoru felt a slightly rough palm on his own. His breath hitched. He flinched away at first but he slowly gave in, properly holding Chiaki's hand.
"Is this okay?"
Kaoru nodded. He didn't trust his voice to work. Kaoru may feel his stomach churning, and may feel anxious about anyone else seeing them. Seeing two men hold hands under the moonlight. Would they look at him in disgust? Or would they be disappointed that a fine man like him was swept away by something, 'unnatural'? Kaoru hated these thoughts. There was no way for a passerby to mistake this as something just friends would do. Even if holding hands was normal, the blush on Kaoru's face would definitely give it away. Kaoru was scared.
But Chiaki's hand felt nice against his. Kaoru shook his head, trying to dismiss the bad thoughts. It was okay. It was Chiaki. If anything happened, Chiaki wouldn't be disgusted at him or say that he was a hassle to deal with. Chiaki wouldn't leave him.
"We're here, Hakaze."
Kaoru was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't realize that he arrived at their destination. He looked at Chiaki, wondering if this was how the night was going to end. It would be too unfulfilling if that was the case.
"Moricchi…"
"Yes Hakaze?" Chiaki replied with interest in his voice.
"I just wanted to ask… Are we? You know?" Kaoru vaguely gestured his hand. "Like- bo- are we an item?"
Chiaki blinked at that. He gave a reassuring smile but Kaoru could tell there was hesitancy behind it. "If you want to."
Kaoru looked away. He can't believe how many leaps he had to take to achieve his goal. He thought by now he would have failed his landing and lost everything, but somehow, he succeeded so far. "...I do want to."
Kaoru sensed that Chiaki took a step closer. "If that's the case, Hakaze. Do you want to be my boyfriend?"
If Kaoru's heart was a balloon, it was pricked by a needle and exploded.
"Yes, I'd like that," said Kaoru. He let out a breath he wasn't holding.
"Ah Hakaze. I'm so happy."
Kaoru finally looked back at Chiaki and the smile that greeted him was something he never saw before. It was so full of love and adoration, so soft, so unbelievably gentle. How the embodiment of the sun made Kaoru feel like he was drowning was something he would never understand, but he didn't hate it. In fact, Kaoru loved it. He loved this new expression on Chiaki. An expression just for him.
"Can I hug you? I promise I won't crush you this time," asked Chiaki, laughter seeking into his voice.
Kaoru let out a big sigh, a smile wide on his lips and hugged Chiaki as an answer. He wanted to get used to this. He wanted to experience more of these moments with Chiaki.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
Kaoru looked at the man lying next to him. Their feet were tangled together and his arm was on Chiaki's stomach while he laid on his side. Chiaki was almost asleep. His eyes were droopy and he let out an exhausted yawn. Kaoru couldn't stop looking. He lifted himself up for a bit to give Chiaki a final kiss on the lips before they slept.
Giggles erupted from Chiaki. "You can't stop kissing me."
"Not my fault you're so addictive." Kaoru pecked the other's lips again, as if to prove a point.
"Sleep, Hakaze."
Kaoru obliged, only after giving another light kiss. He rested his head on Chiaki's chest while tangling their legs further and hugging Chiaki closer.
"I love you."
And just like it was an echo from the past, Kaoru heard the response that felt eternal.
"I love you more."