Work Text:
Click. Lila’s phone sounded as she pressed the power button to lock it.
“There.” She put the phone down beside her and returned to playing the game loaded onto her Playstation. It was some RPG with a rather emotional story, she didn’t want to make herself more sad but the game worked on a daily basis - she needed to do her daily tasks to continue leveling up.
It was the least she could do in her situation.
Click. Lila brought the phone back up again. It was the same routine - check her social media, see if anyone liked her posts - and then check all her texts.
‘All her texts,’ She described it as many when it really wasn’t - she only checked her and Marinette’s texts. She wanted to see if she had received anything new from her!
Lila loved her girlfriend and loved spending time with her whether it had been through simple texting or going out together.
Or at least, that’s how it was before.
Her television sounded, “I would never do anything to hurt you.” The characters spoke and she sat entranced by the story. It was a good plot and with good character designs, of course she would pay attention.
Of course she would keep playing.
The phone was put aside again as the characters continued their conversation, “I would hate for you to feel like I don’t care about you. I do.” Lila felt her heart pang at that sentence.
Her life was supposed to be perfect. She was supposed to be happy. She had everything she needed, an amazing girlfriend, acquaintances at school. She wasn’t alone.
So why in the absolute hell did it feel like she was?
It was like her brain was on autopilot all this time before - she wasn’t thinking this hard before. Overthinking.
Click. Her phone sounded again as Lila frantically checked their texts again. Nothing new.
Their last conversation was three hours ago. How come? It felt like they had just talked twenty minutes ago. Why did her phone say THREE HOURS ago?
Her nails clacked on her screen as she frantically swiped to scroll up through their conversation. It was something about their homework - it didn’t matter. Lila’s eyes trailed over her own previous messages. The tone, the style of writing, it didn’t.. feel like herself…
She can’t remember the last time she told Marinette that she loved her. She loved her so incredibly much - she needed to say it.
Several typing errors were made as Lila texted an “I love you” message in. One message turned into five. Five turned to ten.
She needed to get her point across.
She didn’t want Marinette to think that she didn’t love her.
She loved her so damn much.
In the middle of writing another text a ringing sound went off outside her room. Phone.
Mom’s phone.
Lila ran to pick it up, she knew how important her mother’s social status was.
“Hello? Mrs. Rossi?”
“Err - this is Mrs. Rossi’s daughter, Lila. My mother isn’t home at the moment, it seems she forgot her phone at home.”
“Lord, alright. I’ll be calling back soon.”
What a hassle, she wished her mother didn’t have to be so busy with her job, so she wouldn’t have to forgot her responsibilities and leave them to her own daughter instead.
Oh. And maybe actually spend quality time with her too.
A small pain emerges in her chest and her brain starts to overdrive again. Her phone dings.
Marinette!
Lila pulled up her phone with a speed that could only be known as ‘lightning fast’ to check the notification.
Oh.
Alya liked her post.
Part of her hurts - because she wanted it so bad to be Marinette.
Lila’s body churns and the thoughts start coming back. Bad thoughts.
“Why hasn’t Marinette texted me? She normally does by now.” It forms in her gut and she goes downhill from there.
She tries to convince herself that the girl is busy, she has a big life after all, but it just won’t work.
“God. What if she doesn’t care for me anymore?” God, no. It starts.
“Or, what if she thinks I don’t care about her?!” The speed texting begins again.
Lila must have texted the girl around thirty times.
The bad thoughts keep assaulting her head. Missiles targeting her. Reoccurring thoughts and first time ones, the most prominent:
“What if she leaves me?”
Lila doesn’t want to cry, because once she starts it doesn’t stop. She enters a fragile state where anything to go wrong breaks her down.
The tears roll anyway.
Marinette would never leave her. Marinette loved her, so, so, much.
Click. Lila locked her phone. She wouldn’t have to worry about any of this if she didn’t keep checking her phone.
She throws it off to the side and instead focuses on her game. It would make her feel better.
She wishes it would.