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Arguably one of the most important skills to have as a first responder is the ability to compartmentalize. To strip yourself of your job when you go home. It’s the only way to keep yourself sane.
But sometimes, after particularly hard shifts, when the team goes out together, stripping their uniforms off feels… wrong. So they got shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, and sweats, emblazoned with their team information, to wear after work, on occasion.
That is what they all found themselves in tonight, in the middle of an ihop.
“I’m not ready to leave,” Buck had admitted after everyone’s checks were returned.
Chimney had suggested that they move over to the bar down the street, and it is in that very bar that they now find themselves crammed into a corner booth. Hen and Buck have taken the outer sides, beside Chimney and Eddie, with Ravi and Bobby in the middle. Eddie can’t help but notice the woman who has been looking over at them since they got there.
“I’m gonna go get us another round,” Hen offers. When she comes back with the aforementioned drinks – IPAs for Buck and Eddie, an Ale for Ravi, margaritas for Hen and Chimney, ( it’s not fruity Buck! It’s just a lime!) and of course, water for Bobby – she mentions, “that woman is staring daggers at you, Buck.”
“I know.” Buck shifts uncomfortably.
“Honestly,” Hen starts, “maybe you should go for it. You broke up with Taylor months ago.” Eddie tries not to tense up.
Buck and Eddie discussed their feelings for one another months ago, soon after Buck's breakup, but they haven't changed the nature of their relationship yet. It's a Buck thing. He's worried about the potential aftermath; not that there would be one, which he agrees with. He's just… worried. And Eddie understands that.
And they're doing great, actually. They really haven't changed all that much, but they're a little more free around each other now. Their flirty bickering has grown to be more teasing, too, and they’re not dancing around each other anymore.
Some people on the team know. Maddie was a big help for Buck, and he couldn't ask his sister to keep anything from her partner. And Chimney has been… really good about it. He understands that, since sexualities have not been discussed, he would essentially be outing them.
Bobby also picked up on the shift in their relationship, when their will-they-won't-they dynamic turned into when-will-they.
They trust their family, they just don't quite know how to go about having those conversations. It was easy with Chimney, since Maddie told him. And it was easy with Bobby, since he noticed it himself.
Buck’s eyes flick up to Hen quickly, “that’s not who I am anymore, Hen.”
“I know,” she brings on a placating tone, “but sometimes a rebound can be good. It wouldn’t make you Buck 1.0 to have a little fun.”
“Do you really think I want to have fun right now, Henrietta,” Buck snaps.
“Okay, okay, okay. We’re all coming off a long shift, let’s not take it out on each other, okay? That’s not the point of what we’re doing here,” Bobby interjects.
Eddie slips his hand behind Buck, resting it comfortably on the side of his back, a gesture of comfort. Buck glances at him with thankful eyes.
“Aw, hell.” Buck hangs his head forward and groans.
“What’s up, Buck?”
“I have to pee,” Buck grimaces. The woman’s table is directly in front of the bathroom. “Can I just go outside? Hen, you call me a golden retriever. I’m sure there’s a tree around back.”
“I did see a fire hydrant over on the-” Chim abruptly cuts himself off when Hen elbows him.
“Come on, Buck. Just politely decline and be on your way.”
“I just... don’t want to deal with that right now. You know? I’m tired.” Eddie knows how much weight is being held by that word right now.
Eddie gets an idea and starts stripping his sweatshirt. “Wear this.” He gets confused glances from everyone at the table, but pays them no attention. Buck looks just as confused, but takes the sweater and puts it on anyway. Eddie loves how blindly trusting Buck is of him.
“Okay? Why?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Then go.” Buck looks exasperated but he gets up anyway.
Eddie turns back to the table to see knowing looks from his team, and a downright evil look from Hen.
“What?”
Hen puts her elbows on the table and props her head on her hands, a cute smirk on her face. “Wanna talk about it?”
“I’m just helping get her off his back.”
“By putting you on his back. Your name, that is,” Bobby smirks.
“Am I wrong? He walked right by and she didn’t pay him any attention.”
“Wait,” Ravi starts, “what if she doesn’t see his name on the pants? What if she just assumes that Diaz is his last name.”
“Did you see the double take she gave him when he walked by? She saw.” Eddie looks back to her table and sees Buck emerging from the bathroom. Unfortunately, the woman seems to notice as well.
He can’t tell what either of them are saying, but Buck is clearly uncomfortable. Eddie feels horrible that his plan didn’t work. It’s when her hand grazes his arm and Buck’s shoulders take on an unfamiliar set to them that something green flares in Eddie’s gut. Thinking on his feet, he grabs his beer and spills some onto his upper thigh, right where “Diaz” is printed in bold letters on his sweatpants.
He makes quick movements over to Buck, who looks surprised but gleeful to see him, and lays a hand on his best friend’s arm. “Hey, could you help me out with this?” His other hand plucks on the wet spot on his sweats, clinging uncomfortably to his thigh and matting down his hair. He watches the woman’s eyes go wide from his peripheral vision and waits for Buck to nod emphatically.
“Yeah! Yes, come on.” In the bathroom, the younger man immediately begins wetting napkins.
“You know I don’t actually need help, right?”
“Yeah but… least I could do for you saving me back there. Thought you said the sweater would work.”
“I thought it would.” Eddie has to look away when Buck carefully starts dabbing at the beer on his sweats. When all movements abruptly stop, he looks down at his friend, and immediately looks back up when he realizes Buck is face to face with his drawstrings. Luckily, he sees his face anyway when Buck shoots up from his squatting position, wearing a smug grin.
“You bastard.”
“What?”
“The sweater; you wanted her to read your name on my back.”
“I thought it would help!”
“Uh-huh. That’s why you went all jealous-Eddie when it didn’t work.”
“I was not jealous.”
“You were so jealous.”
“Was not.”
“Were too.”
“Wa- okay, we’re acting like Christopher and his friends. I was not jealous, I just wanted to help you out.”
“Come on, Eddie,” Buck squats back down to keep working at the spot on his leg, dammit. “I know what jealous-Eddie looks like.”
“There is no such thing as jealous-Eddie.”
Buck fixes him with a look. “That so? That why your body language closes off and you try to get your hands on me?” Oh. “And the second someone touches me, your jaw sets and your eyes look like they have a mind of their own to jump out of their sockets and go kill someone?”
“I don’t know what you're- wait, what? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Also, you’re fucking weird.”
“And yet, you’re possessive of my weirdness.” Eddie loves the cocky grin and smug tone coming from Buck right now.
“Okay, can we just leave this?” He picks at his pants. “It’s alcohol, it’ll take care of itself.”
“Are you serious, Eddie? You can’t actually believe that.” ...It sounded good when he said it. “Do you just wanna head home and change? You can come to my place if you want.”
“How about you come home with me- to- uh, to me. To me and Chris. With me- to our- my home. With- where Chris is. With Carla. Let’s relieve her.” Buck’s eyes are filled with fondness and amusement battling something else that Eddie can’t quite decipher.
“Yeah, sounds good.”
As they head past the woman’s table, Buck makes a show of grabbing Eddie’s hand. Eddie takes his hand out of his grip to shove Buck to the side and murmur, “fuck off.” He hears a soft chuckle from his best friend.
Buck gathers their phones and drains his beer while Eddie puts a twenty at the head of the table, and they deal with their friends' snickers as they head out.
Once they walk in the house, Eddie shoots Bobby a quick text.
Tell Hen, plz.
Me and Buck talked about it.
He wants her to know.
You can tell Ravi too.
Just tell them not to bring it up
Of course, Eddie. Will do. You two have a good night.
Thx Cap
Eddie follows Buck to the kitchen, where he’s reheating the pasta he made yesterday.
“Texted Bobby, he’s on it.” Eddie begins working around Buck, quietly grabbing the plates and more beer from the fridge, and moving to set the table.
“Thanks.”
“Man, that smells so good.”
“I know, I know, what would you do without me?” Eddie just shakes his head at the flirty grin on Buck’s face. Sometimes he wants to just kiss that smirk right off of Buck.
“I’d be living my best life, actually.” Eddie leans back in his chair, tilts his head, and brings his bottle to his lips. “Wish I never met ya.”
“Oh yeah?” Buck brings the food over to the table before dishing out servings for them both. “That why I woke up to you squeezing the life out of my hand last week?”
Buck had gotten hit on the head with debris during a call. He had to get stitches and some scans to make sure there wasn’t any internal damage. He just had a minor concussion, he was cleared for work three days later.
He wasn’t even unconscious, really. Buck had literally just fallen asleep. But when Eddie walked into that hospital room…
Yeah, he overreacted. Sue him.
“Actually, I was trying to break your hand. Thought that would get you off my back for a while.”
“You barely let me leave this house as it is. If my hand was broken, you’d cut your shifts and still make Carla stay with me while you were at work.” Yeah, that… sounds pretty accurate, actually.
“Shut up and eat.”
Waking up in bed with Buck is easy. Most of the time. They tend to drift together some nights, especially after rough ones like last night. Today, though? Buck’s cheek is pressed against Eddie’s chest and he’s drooling onto Eddie’s shirt. As he watches Buck’s eyelashes flutter, he can’t help but wonder what his friend is dreaming about. Buck’s hand is gripping the side of Eddie’s shirt, not like he’s scared of Eddie slipping away, more like he could never get close enough. Eddie knows the feeling.
He runs his fingers through Buck’s hair, basking in the way that his breathing stutters and his lip twitches before he burrows even further onto Eddie. Eddie loves this man so hard it hurts.
He tries to extract himself from Buck’s grip, but to no avail. “Come on, I gotta get Chris ready for school.”
“W’nna sleep.”
“You can sleep. Just let me up.”
“No,” Buck mumbles.
“Okay, Chris will just have to forgo his education and live a long, boring life, because he never learned how important it was to learn new things.”
At that, Buck groans and rolls over. “Asshole.”
“Dad,” Christopher starts when they’re in the car.
“Yeah, mijo.”
“Why don’t you and Buck kiss?”
“W-what?”
“You do all the other things boyfriends do. But you don’t kiss.”
Eddie takes a moment to articulate his thoughts. Does Chris think that they’re dating? That they’re keeping something from him? They haven’t really explained their situation to him, but how do you explain something like that to an eleven year old?
Just as Eddie opens his mouth to talk, Chris continues. “I won’t call it gross.”
He has to laugh at that. “Why would you call it gross, bud?”
“Everybody thinks it’s gross when their parents kiss.” Parents? Does he really think of Buck that strongly? “But I wouldn’t tell you that. I’d think it, but I wouldn’t say it.”
Eddie walks back into the house and can’t fight the urge to climb back into bed with Buck.
“M’nin”
“I’m gonna do you a favor and pretend that made sense.”
“Cuddle me. I miss you.” Eddie chuckles but complies, laying his head down onto Buck’s chest.
“Miss you too, dork.”
“I bet you’d never let me take Chris to school alone.”
“What? Buck, why would you think that?”
“You’d be too worried about moms hitting on me.”
Eddie groans into Buck’s shirt. “Not this again.”
“Yeah, this again. You’re kinda hot when you’re possessive, Diaz.”
“Wait,” wait did he say hot? Gonna skip over that. “I thought you said jealous.”
“Jealous explains the reaction to the woman, possessive explains you doing everything in your power to keep me in your hoodie as long as possible.”
“I did not.”
“Yeah. Since when do you keep it at 66 in the truck?” Yeah, okay, maybe he turned the air down a little in the car.
“Maybe I was hot.”
“You don’t get hot.”
Eddie flicks Buck’s side. “Fuck you for knowing me so well. It’s irritating.”
“Can’t help it. Too many things to know about you. I’ll never get enough.” Eddie props himself up on his elbow and looks down at Buck, flicking his nose softly so he’ll open his eyes.
“You should really get your crush under control, Buckley. You’re starting to embarrass yourself.” Buck shoves Eddie to the side before curling around him in the big spoon position.”You’re tactile today,” Eddie observes.
“Yeah. Yesterday just… yeah. Makes me wanna hold onto what I’ve got, y’know?”
“I get it. Barely wanted to let Christopher out of the car this morning.”
“Love that kid.”
“He loves you too. That reminds me, you wanna know what he asked me this morning?”
“Hmm?” Buck noses into the back of Eddie’s neck.
“He asked me why we don’t kiss.” Buck snorts against Eddie’s skin.
“What? Why?”
“Because that kid is too damn observant for his own good, that’s why. I told him we’d talk about it after school.”
“What are we gonna tell him?”
“What do you want to tell him?”
“I want to cuddle some more before we start talking about verbalizing something to a kid that I can’t even verbalize to our friends.”
“Our kid.”
“Hmm?”
“Our kid. You said ‘a kid.’ Our kid.” Buck pulls away.
“You really think so, Edds?”
Eddie rolls over to face him. “Of course. Do you think I’m wrong?”
“No, not… I just- thank you. Thank you, Edds, thank you. Man, I could kiss you right now.”
Eddie should really work on his brain to mouth filter, because the words that come tumbling out of his mouth are, “do it.”
Then Buck’s eyes go wide and he holds his breath. “Sorry,” Eddie squeezes his eyes shut. “Sorry, it kind of just slipped. Not trying to rush-” But Eddie is cut off with Buck’s lips against his.
Hell.
Buck eases up on the firm press of lips against Eddie’s, drawing back for only a second before going back in with a softer one.
"Hell, Buck," Eddie whispers when they part.
"Sorry I, uh. Had to do that." Even up close, Buck's smile lights up Eddie's world.
"Oh, it was the worst. Apology not accepted. Can't believe you did that."
"Guess I'll have to do it again huh?" Buck leans in, kissing Eddie again. He frames Eddie's face with one hand and caresses Eddie's cheek like it's precious.
Eddie's hand comes around Buck's arm and he squeezes it as he pushes himself into the kiss, desperate for it like water. Like air. Buck pulls back just enough to leave a nip on Eddie's lower lip, and they're both panting into the space between them.
"Edds…"
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Are you sure? You think we're ready? You're ready?"
"Yeah."
"Thank god."
"And I'm the one who needs to reign in his crush? You sound desperate for me, Diaz."
"I am and I won't hide it, baby."
Buck pulls back and bites at his own lower lip, seemingly considering something. Eddie wants to take that lip between his own teeth, but he waits.
"I love you, Eddie."
Eddie lets out a huff of laughter, "I love you too." Buck collapses down, burying his face in Eddie's neck. "Are you good?" Eddie starts running his fingers through Buck's hair.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm great. I'm just so happy, Edds."
"Me too." And he is. Happy. Happier than he's ever been in his life.
Some things aren't worth compartmentalizing.