Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The train ride home was like any other after a well-paid mission. Gajeel was trying not to vomit his guts out but somehow still playing it cool, Lily was looking out of the window and trying to block out the fear of Gajeel throwing up on all of them and Levy was sound asleep with an open book in her lap.

When Magnolias train station came into view, Lily took it upon himself to gather his teammates and get off the train before Gajeel can complain about being on this death machine for a second longer than necessary.

“Magnolias Train Station!” the train conductor yelled and with a sigh Lily turned into his Edolas form. He shouldered Levys traveling bag, gently took her in his arms and climbed out of the train dragging Gajeel by his shirt.

“Give me a moment.” Gajeel mumbled when he no longer felt the world moving around him. The cold bricks provided a nice and cool surface on to which he would gladly lay on even longer. Lily just stood above him and pitied the almighty Iron Dragon Slayer that was now turned into a mush of sick.

“Okay, I’m good.” Said Dragon Slayer claimed while standing up on shaky legs. “What’s up with the Shrimp?” he asked finally regaining his composure.

“She was sleeping when we arrived. It would have taken too much time to wake Levy up and get you moving.” Lily explained.

“Fair enough, I guess.” Gajeel murmured. His attention to the conversation was stolen by a sleeping Levy letting out a small sigh and trying to snuggle closer to Lily. Something about the sight made him clench his fists and take a deep breath as if calming himself down.

“Do we wake her?” the question was answered for Gajeel when Levy snored catching both men off guard. Gi-hi, who knew the Shrimp snored, Gajeel smirked to himself and decided to let her sleep. “Guess not. Where’s my bag?” Gajeel asked noticing Levys bag on Lilys shoulders. A moment of silence stretched between them as realization sunk in.

“Don’t tell me…”

“It must still be on the train.” As if on cue the train behind them reared its engines, the horn taunting them as it sped away.

“DON’T JUST SAND THERE! GO AFTER IT!” Gajeel yelled.

“WHY ME? IT’S YOUR BAG!” Lily yelled back. Sleeping Levy completely forgotten in his arms.
“YOU GOT US OUT OF THE TRAIN!”

“AND HOW, PRAY TELL, COULD I HAVE PAID ATTENTION TO YOUR BAG WHEN I HAD TO WORRY ABOUT LEVY, YOU AND HER BAG?!” with the mention of the girl, Gajeel and Lily stopped yelling at each other and both sighed. “Fine, I will fly after your bag.” Lily gave up and moved to give Levy to Gajeel.

“Gi-hi. Thanks, cat.” Gajeel watched Lily fly after the train with Levy somehow still asleep in his arms and her bag on his back.

With Lily gone and people off the platform, Gajeel stood alone in the silence. It rang in his ears, broken only by the breathing of the Solid Script mage in his arms. He looked down at Levy and let his thoughts drift in the silence.

“So small, so warm, so beautiful.” He whispered only to himself. As soon as the words left his mouth, ice ran through his body. How can I think something like that? Gajeel questioned himself. Out of everyone in her life, I have the least right to think like that about her. Gajeel wanted to stop the warmth that was coming from Levys body and melting the ice in his bones. Just like in Lilys arms, she snuggled deeper in Gajeels chest. Only this time she let out a sigh of content and a smile blessed her lips. The Iron Dragon Slayer let himself slip up for a moment and a small smile ghost over his face too. How could he not smile when an actual angel was so close to him?

Bells from Kardia Cathedral snapped Gajeel out of his thoughts. Finally, back to his senses, he noticed the autumn breeze flowing through the train platform and playing in his and Levys hair. He had to get her inside. But where? Fairy Hills dormitory? That place had no men rule. Guild hall? That would be the next logical place; they also had to report back to the Master or Mira about their successful job. But for some reason, Gajeel didn’t want the noise of their guildhall to flood his brain. Which made him settle on his and Lilys home. It is closer than Fairy Hills, quieter than the guild. Plus, we still have to split the pay, Gajeel justified his decision to no one in particular as he exited the train station and headed to the outskirts of the city.

The sun was casting its final rays of warm light as Gajeel stepped in his house with the sleeping beauty in his arms. Without much thought, he carried Levy to his bedroom and placed her in his bed. With a touch so soft it even surprised the man itself, Gajeel pulled his covers over her and sat on the edge, placing the bag next to his feet.

Once again, the silence let his mind relax and break down any walls Gajeel had built, letting him watch Levy. The rise and fall of her chest lulled him into a state that was suspiciously close to hypnosis. He watched her grip the edge of the blanket and attempt to pull it closer, but his weight on it didn’t let it budge. Amused, Gajeel sat up a bit and even in her deep sleep Levy smiled at her victory. She snuggled in the covers making a strand of hair fall on her face. Gajeel immediately reached to gently push it away.

As soon as his fingers left her face, her brow furrowed and her expression, that was the definition of peace and tranquility, turned into that of pain. She let out a soft no, and with a gasp she sat up surprising not only the Dragon Slayer but herself too because now her face was inches away from his. Levy blinked the last remanence of her dream away and focused her eyes on the red ones, oh so close to hers. Gajeel was stunned into stillness and Levy could feel the warm air from his breath. Both were brought back to reality when they heard the bedroom door creak open.

“Gajeel, if I didn’t know you have actual iron in your bag, I would seriously question your reasoning for packing essentials,” Lily grumbled and dropped the bag on the floor, “Levy, you’re up!” he exclaimed before turning back into his smaller form and fell in the bed between the mages. “You okay? You look worried” the Exceed noticed the panic in his friends’ eyes.

“Thank you, Lily. I’m okay, just had a bad dream” Levy pushed back the image of a certain Dragon Slayer being stabbed to death and flashed her brilliant smile. She took Lily in her arms giving him a squeeze. “But why am I here?” she questioned letting the cat go but keeping him in her lap petting him.

“You-erm-” for some reason, Gajeel couldn’t piece a single coherent thought in his head. The feeling of her hair on his fingers still lingered, his whole being ached for more physical touch. Levys direct question at him caught him off guard even though the silence between someone sleeping and someone awake had been broken a moment ago. “You fell asleep in the train and we couldn’t wake you up.” He finally explained scratching the back of his neck.

“You could have taken me to Fairy Hills.” She offered playfully, slightly leaning closer to Gajeel but still keeping Lily in her lap. The closeness made a small blush appear on his cheeks but the Dragon Slayer turned his head so his hair would shield it.

“This was closer. And we still have to split the pay.” Gajeel said in his deep voice making goosebumps run down Levys arms. Both Gajeels and Levys reactions didn’t go unnoticed by the Exceed in the girls’ arms and a devilish plan hatched in his mind. Lily hid the smirk that was threatening to break behind a friendly smile.

“Gejeel, why don’t you make tea for Levy. It’s been chilly the entire day and we wouldn’t want her to get sick now, would we?” Lily subtly pointed at Levys goosebumps making Gajeel get the hint.

“Uhh- yeah, sure.” He stood up and walked out of the room. With a smile on her face and a scratch behind Lilys ear, she placed the cat next to her and reached for her bag.

“So,” Lily started Phase 1 of his plan. He watched Levy reach in her bag before asking “How long have you liked Gajeel?” he whispered low enough for Levy to hear and Gajeel not to hear from the kitchen. The question made Levy freeze in her tracks. Their money pouch from their job felt too heavy in her palm. “You have nothing to worry about, I won’t tell the Iron Face” Lily reassured making Levy smile and focus back on her search.

“I don’t know. A while I guess.” She mumbled so Gajeel wouldn’t hear her and pulled the money pouch and a bag of kiwis from her bag, “These are left over from the trip.” She dangled it in front of Lily and watched a drool fall from his mouth, “You get those, only if you promise not to say anything to him.” The Exceed nodded and snatched the bag from Levys arms.

“Hot tea coming through!” Gajeel announced coming through the door with a mug in his hands. Levy immediately smiled and placed the money bag on the bed to free her hands for the mug. “If I get one drop of juice on the sheets, cat, you’re sleeping on the street.” Gajeel growled once he noticed a happy Lily biting in one of the kiwis. The cat just saluted him and continued eating.

For the next couple minutes, Levy was busy counting out three shares from the pay and sipping her tea. Once the money was counted and re-counted two times, Levy placed the respective sums in front of Gajeel and Lily and kept one for herself.

“Easy money from an easy job!” Gajeel pocketed his money.

“You’re absolutely right. And thank you for coming with me. I know this was an easy job for you, but I couldn’t have climbed that mountain without your help.” Levy said passing the now empty cup of tea.

“Could have taken just Lily. But I’m glad I tagged along.” Gajeel replied reaching for the cup making his fingers brush against Levys, a blush rose on Levys cheeks and Gajeel froze for split second. Both recovered quickly but once again, their reactions didn’t go unnoticed by the scheming cat who was busy stuffing his face with kiwis.

“I should go.” Levy tried so hard not to sound disappointed, but the words still came out as a sad sigh. “Do you mind if I freshen up before I go?” Levy tossed the blanket from her and climbed out of the bed to stretch.

“Uh… Yeah, go ahead.” Gajeel stood up and headed to the door desperately trying not to think about the sight of Levys thighs that were presented to him when she raised her hands above her head making her dress rise up. After Levy closed the door to the bathroom Lily jumped out of the bed and followed Gajeel to the living room.

“She’s gonna spoil you.” The Dragon Slayer groaned when Lily jumped on the couch next to him.

“What do you mean?” Lily reached in the bag to get out the last kiwi and bit into it.

“Giving you kiwis for no reason at all. I wonder how you’re not sick of them.” Gajeel muttered the last part to himself as he rested his head against the couch and closed his eyes.

“You’re just jealous.” The cat said after swallowing his bite and searched his partner for a reaction that never came. Now that Levy’s not here he’s better at hiding his emotions, Lily thought and smirked, time for Phase 2.

“Why?” Gajeel was annoyed but kept his eyes closed making himself concentrate on the sound of running water in his bathroom rather than the smug face of his cat.

“She’s paying more attention to me than you.” Again, no reaction was displayed on Gajeels face. This will be more difficult than I thought, Lily sighed in his head.

“And I care about that because?” Gajeel felt Lily jump off the couch and relaxed a bit. No more questions.

“Because you like her.” Lily sang in the same tone as Happy did and ran to his own room to hide.

“Stupid cat.” Gajeel groaned and laid down on his couch.

Just when Lily hid in his room, Levy climbed out of the shower and reached for a clean towel in Gajeels closet. In the privacy of her own company, Levy let herself marvel at the calming atmosphere of Gajeels room.

Everything in his room was either white, black, or grey. But it didn’t have a sad feeling to it. The room was lived in, clothes thrown on the floor or folded in the closet, small knick-knacks littered the shelves on the wall. There even was a huge plant in the corner of the room. This was not the first time she was in here, but it was the first time she had the freedom to look around. Levy smiled when she noticed the row of cactuses on the windowsill. She would definitely love to stay in here longer, preferably in the bed with its owner but, just as fate would have it, Levy noticed how late it had gotten and she let out a sigh. She dried herself, put on a clean dress from her bag and opened the door.

In front of her, she found her partner laying on the couch with his eyes closed. Levy leaned on the doorframe and looked at the peaceful expression on Gajeels face. It almost looked he was sleeping but the tension in his legs and arms gave away his waking state.

“You’re gonna stare more or are we going?” just then Levy noticed Gajeel was looking right back at her from the corner of one opened eye. Levy was taken back by the we in the sentence, but she didn’t have the strength to argue with the man. Which was surprising because she had slept for a while.

“We’re going.” Levy nodded and watched the man sit up and run his hands over his face and into his hair pushing it back. For a moment, Levy imagined what it would feel like to run her hands through the black mane. It looked soft and shiny which meant Gajeel took diligent care of it. A memory of rough and mean looking Gajeel brushing his hair while he thought everyone at the camp was asleep shot through her mind and she suppressed a giggle. A groan from the man called for attention and Levy noticed how tired he looked.

“If you’re too tired, you don’t have to come with.” She offered but Gajeel just shrugged on his jacket and opened the front door. When Levy passed Gajeel out of the house, he caught the bag and tugged at it making it clear he’s taking it for the walk. And she let him, offering a smile as a thank you.

Chapter Text

Gajeel waited outside of Fairy Hills until the light in Levys room came on and only then did he turn around and head home ready to sleep the next day away. However, just like at the train station earlier that day, the silence around him was met by his own cursed thoughts. This time he didn’t have to worry about getting Levy inside or she wasn’t next to him providing the sound of her steps to concentrate on. No, this time, he heard Lilys voice in his head singing you like her.

I don’t like the Shrimp. Gajeel tried to convince himself. I like her enough to be her friend. Besides she’s not my type. The word friend made him feel uncomfortable, but he just pushed that feeling away like he did with everything and focused more on the second part of his train of thought. What was his type? Gajeel then tried to list the things he liked in a woman: strong willed, smart, quick thinking in battle, sweet and caring but still capable of handling her own problems and keeping him on his feet, preferably shorter than him, blue hair, orange dress, white guild mark on the back of her shoulder, uses Script Magic and loves books. Damn it! That’s just Levy, he sighed and ran his hands over his face trying to get rid of his own thoughts.

Levy… Her name sounded weird even in his mind. Too formal, too proper. He liked the nicknames he gave her better. They added fire to the little fairy that was his Shrimp. Gajeel stopped and looked around to see where he had ended up. His eyes fell upon the tree in the middle of South Gate Park where he crucified the Shrimp and her puppy boys. Guilt immediately washed over him, and he started walking away once again trying to escape his thought process.

Gajeel knew Levy had forgiven him, even made a friend and a partner out of him. He tried to be a better man for her. Someone she could be proud of, someone who she wouldn’t be embarrassed being seen in public with. Even though the incident happened so long ago, Gajeel lived every day trying to prove to the girl he had changed for the better. Consciously or unconsciously, but he acknowledged the fact it was for her. He remembered the fear in her eyes when he first joined Fairy Tail or when he jumped in front of Laxus lightning for her. But he also remembered the fierce look in her eyes when she was hunched over piles of books trying to decipher Freed’s enchantments and the determination when she was getting ready for a fight. Levy made being smart look so easy and effortless. Gajeel wouldn’t admit this to anyone but her brain power intimidated him more that Salamanders raw magical power.

I like her, he came to the conclusion just when his house came into view. The realization didn’t hit him like a truck, he didn’t stop in the middle of the street to ponder over his realization. He accepted his fate and feelings like an old friend, with no resistance, no second guessing. It felt right to finally put it into words. But at the same time, Gajeel felt undeserving of having such feelings. He didn’t even entertain the idea of Levy feeling the same. And how could she like, maybe even love, a monster like him, who personally beat up her and her friends, stuck them to a tree and left hanging for everyone to see, who destroyed her beloved guildhall, kidnapped, and beat up her best friend. And those were the things she knew. Gajeel was weighed down by all the terrible things he had done while still being with Phantom Lord.

In that moment, The Iron Dragon Slayer Black Steel Gajeel swore to himself to forever care and protect Levy no matter the cost. He could ignore and suppress his feelings for her in order to keep her happy. He was more than willing to keep a part of himself away from her so she would never think badly of him. He was ready for the pain and heartbreak of seeing her with another man only to protect her from the pain that was Gajeels existence.

Finally, at ease with his own thoughts and feelings, Gajeel entered his house and immediately went to his room. A towel, draped over a chair to dry, sent a smile to his face, even making him glide his fingers over it. Filled with an overwhelming wish to sleep, Gajeel took off his clothes, tossed them on the floor and climbed under his covers. Lured by the faint, lingering scent of books, ink and surprisingly lavender, he turned on his side, facing the spot Levy had occupied not that long. Letting out a tired sigh, he slid his hand over the spot, turned on his back and fell asleep.

After what felt like only minutes, Gajeel rolled on his side and tried to will his mind back asleep, when a body shimmied closer and pressed itself against Gajeels bare chest. A familiar scent filled his nose but in his half-asleep state he couldn’t place it. Slowly, he blinked open his eyes to see who was wicked enough to attack in such a manner, only to find Levy sound asleep. To say Gajeel was shocked would be an understatement. He was 100% sure the bed was empty when he got in and she was supposed to be in her dorm. He walked her himself.

This has to be a dream, Gajeel thought but that still didn’t stop him from gently taking his large hand off of her and turning to get out of the bed. If this wasn’t a dream, he didn’t want to be accused of things he didn’t do and be a victim of Lilys teasing. But he was stopped by a hand in his hair that tugged him back in his earlier position. He looked at Levy. She was still sleeping but a frown was on her face which turned back into a peaceful expression only when Gajeel settled next to her, with his arm around her.

Definitely a dream, but the thought only calmed him down. Gajeel decided to take advantage of the fact it was a dream, and he was this lucid, so he wrapped his arm tighter around the sleeping mage and pulled her closer. He slid his hands in her hair and let the strands fall through his fingers. He traced the small freckles up and down her arm enjoying the feeling of her presence. From her shoulder, Gajeels arms rested on the top of her spine and it slowly went down. Levy shivered in her sleep and snuggled closer to Gajeel if it was even possible. As if protecting her, he pulled her in his side and loomed over her.

With closed eyes, Gajeel completely surrendered to the feeling of Levys hot breath against his cool skin. It made this whole thing feel real. He knew this was a dream, but he didn’t want to break the little fantasy world around him. Until he was forcibly pulled out of it. Each breath against Gajeels skin felt weaker and weaker. Gajeel pulled back thinking Levy just didn’t have enough air but he noticed how expressionless her face was. Panic overtook his brain and body as he watched Levys breaths get increasingly slower…

Until they stopped.

No longer aware of the fact this was a dream, Gajeel pulled back from the body and stared at it, wishing for Levy to wake up and prank him. But she didn’t. With each passing second, Gajeel felt more and more anxious to the point where he no longer could take it and yelled:

“Levy! Levy! Wake up!” he lightly shook her by the shoulders. Her body gave no signs of life, her hand rolled to the side from all the shakings. With tears in his eyes, Gajeel took her hand and pressed it against his lips. When that wasn’t enough, he pulled her upper body in his lap and cradled it. Hot tears fell on Levys lifeless face, rolled down her cheeks as if they were her own. Gajeel whispered words of prayer and love to her. He pulled her as close as possible. For the first time, Gajeel pressed long awaited kisses on her face but nothing soothed him. There was nothing that could soothe a grieving Dragon.

If someone were to look at this sight from a side, their heart would break. A Dragon Slayer, feared by everyone, had wrapped his large body around a small, dead girl in his lap. Black hair, that looked more like a main, fell around them like a curtain shielding Gajeels grief from the rest of the world. His cries were quiet, until the moment he could no longer hold it together. Gajeel threw his head back. The broken screams that came from the depths of his heart sounded more like a dragon’s roar warning everyone in the world of the pain that was being felt. The piercings on his face shined in the pale moonlight from all the tears that fell from his eyes.

In this state of pure agony, he didn’t notice another person in the room. They were concealed by shadows. An expressionless face watched the scene in front of them. Tears would have been shed if the person were moved by the sight at all. When Gajeel finally stopped screaming, they appeared from the corner of the room and moved closer to the bed. Gajeel was so wrapped up in his own world, he only noticed them when a cold hand was placed on his shoulder.

Gajeel drew in a shaky breath and turned to person not caring if they were friend or foe. Next to the bed stood a person. Nothing distinctive could have been said about them. A long black cloak with a large hood and gloves shielded any identification of them. They withdrew the hand. The spot on the shoulder quickly started tingling with renewed blood flow, as if it had been numbed by ice.

“She has died…” they said. Their voice just as cold as their hand. Any other time Gajeel would have let anger take control. But he felt so helpless, so weak, he couldn’t move a muscle. So, he just sat there and took the blows.

“Who are you?” Gajeel managed to get out between sobs. This was no situation to make friends, he knew. But nothing made sense, so he didn’t make sense.

“This is a dream about the dead and what is to come.” The person said. Gajeel couldn’t pick out any emotions or intentions in the voice. For some reason, it calmed him down. Before Gajeel could ask what they meant by that, the figure continued.

“Amor Languorem. I am the Messenger of Death and I have spoken.”

Chapter Text

Gajeel slowly fought his way through the fog of sleep and opened his eyes. Bright morning sunlight shined in his eyes greeting him for the day. He stretched his stiff limbs from being curled up the whole night and turned to sit on the edge of the bed. Still groggy from his unfulfilling sleep, he rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.

Why was his face wet? Terror filled Gajeels’ body when he remembered his dream. All at once the pain, hopelessness, anger, and fear from his dream filled his body. Amor Langourem rang in his mind like a church bell on a Sunday. What does this mean? He asked himself, struggling to breathe and calm his beating heart. He felt the weight of Levys lifeless body in his arms, he felt the same pain he did in the dream. New tears filled his eyes and fell on his trembling hands.

Levy was dead in the dream. This is reality. Gajeel can see her in just a few moments, hear her voice, feel the warmth of her presence next to him. Determined to do just that, Gajeel got ready as fast as possible so he can go to the guild. On his way out, he caught his reflection in the mirror and stopped. His whole face was puffy, eyes were red, and he had tear streaks down his cheeks. Gajeel stomped to the bathroom and tried to wash away the memories of his dream with cold water. It helped, but he was still desperate to see Levy in person.

Levy, on the other hand, was having a wonderful morning. She woke up very rested, the sun was shining, and her wallet was full from her recent job. With a spring in her step, she set out to her guild thinking about the new books she’ll be able to buy later that day. But not too many, she needs the money for rent after all.

She opened the doors of the guild and was met with the wonderous sight of her friends. Macao and Wakaba were sitting in a corner and laughing about Natsu picking a fight with Gray. It was 11am but, in this guild, it’s never too early for a good fight. Morning workout.

“Levy!” Jet and Droy screamed appearing out of nowhere in front of her. “We’re so happy you’re back!” she just smiled at them and joined them at their table. After a while, she walked to Mira and got herself a warm cup of tea. While waiting she turned around and once again watched her guild. For some reason, this morning she was feeling a bit nostalgic, the love for her friends, family and guildmates all in one filled her with so much happiness it hurt.

She turned around to talk to Mira just when the guild doors opened and closed. Chatting to Mira, Levy didn’t notice the sad aura of the mage walking straight to her.

“Thank you, Mira!” she called over her shoulder while turning to leave and smashed head and cup first into a human wall. Poor girl didn’t have time to look up and see who she just doused in hot tea when her cup was taken out of her hands, placed on the counter and she herself was pulled into the arms of the human wall. Too shocked to respond, Levy let the large human engulf her and hold her.

“Don’t ever leave my side.” a rough male voice said, and Levy could tell it wasn’t used to being gentle. Levy didn’t know what it meant but it did snap her out of her shock and back into reality. Finally able to think clearly, she realized a man was hugging her. A large man at that. She could tell he was way taller than her based on the fact her face was pressed against his chest. Well-built arms held her close and a face was buried in her neck. She heard voices around them and that was when she decided to stop this circus. She liked hugs but not by men who she didn’t know.

“Okay, who are you and why were you hugging me?” she asked sternly as she pushed herself away from the man and looked up at him. In front of her stood a man that can only be described as tall, dark, and handsome. Piercings were littered all around his face which in turn was framed by beautiful long black hair. He wore a tight shirt that showed off his arms and, as Levy dragged her eyes down, white pants that ended in black combat boots. The man in front of her intrigued her, he looked like the roughest of the rough and yet. The words he whispered in her ear and the way he held her were gentle.

Then she looked in his mesmerizing red eyes. Her heart almost broke from the pain in them. It looked like he had cried recently but he didn’t look like a man who cried easily.

Gajeel looked at Levy with wide eyes. His chest started to burn from the lack of oxygen, but he couldn’t make himself take a breath. Her words rang in his head over and over again. It had to be a joke.

“Come on, Levy. Don’t joke like that.” He finally managed to get out. Gajeel was fully convinced she was pranking him. But Levy just took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m not joking. Now, tell me who you are, why are you here and how do you know me?” the look in her eyes was serious which meant she actually wanted answers to these questions. Which meant, Levy didn’t know who Gajeel was.

At this point the whole guild was looking at them. Gajeel was stunned, unable to move. He felt the same dread as he did this morning when the memory of the dream came crashing down on him. On the other hand, Levy was a bit angry at this random hugging man and determined to get to the bottom of this. Yet, the longer she stared at the man in front of her, waiting for his answer, the more she grew curious about what it would be. She didn’t notice the whole guild watching their show as she took in his red ruby eyes searching hers. The longer Levy looked in those eyes, the more she felt something stir inside her.

“You really don’t know me?” Gajeel spoke in a voice so quiet and soft it almost didn’t suit him. Almost. Levy felt herself relax at his tone finally hearing how sad, how hurt Gajeel felt in that moment.

“I’m sorry if I offended you, but I really don’t know who you are.” She shook her head and watched as the light in the man’s eyes died. He swallowed, blinked, and straightened his back. Any emotion that could have been figured out from his face and body language disappeared in an instant. Everyone watching saw how cold and distant Gajeel became in a span of a second. If it weren’t for the Exceed at his feet, Gajeel would have looked like Black Steel Gajeel he was in Phantom. With one last nod, Gajeel turned and left the guild with wide and heavy steps.

Now, when she didn’t have a subject to concentrate on, Levy noticed how quiet the guild had become. She looked around and saw how intensely everyone was looking at her. Suddenly nervous she let her gaze fall to the floor where she noticed the concerned black cat looking up at her.

 “Hey, Lily! When did you get here?” she asked crouching down and petting his head.

“You remember me?” he asked after a second.

“Of course, I do. Why wouldn’t I?” she asked tilting her head to one side.

“So, you remember Lily but not Gajeel?” Mira asked from behind her making Levy stand up and turn around. Was Gajeel the man who was hugging her?

“If by Gajeel you mean the man who made a scene, then yes. I noticed the Guild Mark. How long has he been a member?” she asked leaning against the counter with Lily flying up next to her. Her best friend, Lucy came to stand next to Levy and shot a glance at Mira.

“For a while now.” Lucy said placing a hand on Levys shoulder.

“I don’t remember ever seeing him here. Or having a conversation with him. Could it be like that time Mest infiltrated the guild?” she asked. In the background, Levy could hear slow chatter growing and relaxed as she wasn’t the center of everybody’s attention.

“No, sweetie.” Mira cooed and turned when someone called her attention. “Lucy, could you?” and with that she was gone. Levy turned to Lucy in hopes she would enlighten her.

“So, you really don’t know who Gajeel is?” Lucy asked one more time.

“Can everyone stop asking me that question? I already said, I don’t know who he is.” Levy snapped and immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry, Lu. I just want someone to explain what’s going on.” She sighed “Why would he hug me when I don’t even know who he is?”

“It’s okay Levy, I understand. I can explain if you want.”

“Thank you.” She smiled and waited for Lucy.

“You and Gajeel are friends, partners.” She said after thinking about the best place to start. “He is an Iron Dragon Slayer and Lily here is his Exceed.” Levy turned to Lily, who was watching her closely, and scratched behind his ear. It always calmed her down and this time was no different. “Bad things happened before you two became … close. But I think it would be best if he explained everything to you.”

“How close were we?” Levy asked worried about the tone and word Lucy used to describe Gajeel.

“Like I said, you were friends, partners on missions. I think you really changed him for the better. I have never seen him display any sort of emotion like I did when he hugged you. But you have to ask him about the details.”

“I think I will. Thank you, Lu.” They smiled at each other and Lucy went back to sit with Natsu and Happy, who were stuffing their faces with food. Levy wondered about what she should do. And despite how many different scenarios she thought of, she always came back to the conclusion she should talk to the man itself.

“Lily,” Levy turned her attention to the cat. “You’re Gajeels’ Exceed. Do you know where I could find him?” Lily perked up at her words and nodded.

“Of course. Follow me.” And with that they exited the guild in search of one moody Dragon Slayer.

Chapter Text

Gajeel walked out of the guild sadder than he was when he entered it. He wanted to run, fast and far, but he didn’t want anyone to see how affected he was by Levys words. So he held his head high, and when he was certain no one from the guild would see him, Gajeel took off. He didn’t know where he was running, he didn’t notice the people falling out of his way or the angry shouts behind him. All he knew was the reason he ran.

Gajeel wanted to be as far away as possible from the guild, Lily and Levy. He felt numb. He just wanted to get away and forget. Gajeel stopped only when he no longer could see the path in front of him. At first, he thought it was from the sweat, but when a teary breath left his mouth, Gajeel realized he was crying. Damn it!, he though. He hadn’t cried this much in a long while. The last time he cried was when Metalicanna left him.

And once again, he felt abandoned. He thought he was already used to this but the tears said otherwise. Levy had broken down walls he had built up years ago. She had wedged herself in his heart and grew in like a tumor he never wanted to remove. And hearing her say those words really made him wish to be The Black Steel Gajeel he once was. Before Levy changed him.

After a deep breath, Gajeel looked around and saw he had ended up in the South Gate Park, right under the tree Levy once hung from. Usually, the thought brought only guilt, but this time guilt brought friends. He wanted to cry again, scream out his pain, suffering, guilt, and abandonment issues. He sat against the tree and watched the unfittingly wonderful day.

That is how Levy and Lily found him. They hesitated before approaching the man. Levy might not know him, but she could see how her words affected Gajeel and how much pain they brought him.

“Gajeel,” he was so lost in thought, Gajeel didn’t even sense Levy and Lily approaching. He looked at them and felt immediately better. Even though, Levy didn’t know him, she was the person he liked, who changed him; Lily was his best friend, but he admitted to that one only to himself. Seeing them made Gajeel feel at home. Levy motioned to the spot next to him against the tree, silently asking if she could sit and he nodded.

“I’ll be going then. I’ll see you two at the guild. And good luck, Levy.” And with a wave, Lily was gone.

Levy and Gajeel sat in silence for a moment. Gajeel tried to keep his emotions in check and Levy tried to think of something to say. However, the silence was comfortable, like they were at peace with only each other’s presence; no words were necessary.  This slightly surprised Levy, who was a person who always needed to fill the silence. But with Gajeel, she felt content. Maybe we were close, Levy thought and decided to start with that.

“Lucy said we were – I mean are – friends with a rocky start.” Gajeel snorted but Levy just continued to look ahead of her. “I would love to hear our story.” She turned to look at the man and found him already looking at her. Her deep brown eyes met Gajeels blood red, and a shiver ran down her spine. Something in the back of her mind flashed, a memory was pushing its way out of the depths of Levys mind, making her head hurt. The sudden pain made her wince and rub at her temples.

“You okay?” Gajeel asked in a gentle voice noticing the painful expression on her face.

“Head hurts, but I think I just remember something.” She opened her eyes and once again looked at Gajeel. His face was expressionless but deep in his eyes, Levy saw hope and sadness. She didn’t know how she knew Gajeels deepest feelings, but it felt like being let in on a secret only they knew.

“What do you remember?” Gajeel tried to hide his hope but couldn’t do it.

“I-um,” her gaze fell, and a blush blossomed on her cheeks, but she took a deep breath and looked back at Gajeel. “I remembered your eyes.” She said matching Gajeels earlier softness.  Gajeel didn’t believe her. How could she remember eyes when she was just looking at them? He almost felt offended and that was the last thing he needed right now.

“I don’t appreciate being made fun of Shorty. You can’t remember eyes.” And with that, he stood up to leave but the mentioned shorty caught his pant leg just in time. Gajeel turned and looked at her.

“I wasn’t making fun of you; I do remember your eyes.” She let go of Gajeel and looked down hugging herself. It was hard to interpret her new memories so she had to concentrate on something that wasn’t Gajeel.

“I remember how I felt about your eyes.” Gajeel sat back down intrigued. “I remember I was scared of them. I would feel so small whenever I felt them on me. And then I remember safety. Nothing could have ever made feel as save as your eyes did, they held a promise I would be protected. And then I longed to feel your gaze on me. I remember watching out for those eyes so I could catch them. And I think I did. Ultimately I fell in love with the feeling of being in their field of vision.” Levy finally looked at Gajeel, saw the emotions swimming in his eyes.

Gajeel couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Levy remembered his eyes, how they made her feel. She admitted to loving being seen by him.

“Does this mean you remember-” he started but what cut off.

“I’m sorry but I still don’t remember you. However, if I remembered your eyes, maybe I could remember all of you. I can see you’re not a man of many words, but Lucy told me I should be asking you about our relationship, not her. And I agree with her. You seem like a wonderful person, and I would love to get to know you again. So will you please tell me about us?” Levy flashed him a smile that mended his broken heart, hope bloomed in his chest and a small smile appeared on his lips. Gajeel nodded and began.

There wasn’t a lot to tell. Gajeel tried so hard to sound like he didn’t remember every second with the Shrimp. But he let it slip. During the Phantom fight part, Gajeel hid from Levy the amount of guilt he had felt after, but he vividly described the feeling of her skin under his fingers. Talking about the “party” Laxus threw, Gajeel ignored how worried he was when Levy was turned into a stone focusing only on her intelligence.

The part about the Grand Magic Games and the fight with the dragons gave Levy a reason for the worry and anxiety she remembers feeling during those times. The whole time her mind had been occupied by the Dragon Slayer. She also congratulated him on his wins and told him how proud she felt. Gajeel didn’t believe her. He wanted to, but how could she be proud of him if she didn’t remember it? For all she knew, Gajeel could be telling lies about this. But the sincerity in her eyes convinced him before he could call bullshit. The thought of Gajeel lying didn’t even cross Levys mind. She saw how passionate he was while retelling her how they got close. He described things in such detail, it would be a shame to think of him as a liar.

The time spent searching for the Infinity Clock piece was summed up quick. Once again, Gajeel focused more on Levys intelligence and the strength, she proved to possess.

Their missions were another story. Gajeel talked in great detail how they had worked together to figure out a clue or a location. He praised Levy on her quick thinking in battles and deep state of mind she entered when an academic text demanded her attention. He told her about the times he saved her or protected her; how he would sit and watch Levy do her thing with books.

Every story Gajeel told about their missions provided a huge window in their personal relationship, one that wasn’t seen by the rest of the guild. Even though Levy knew the outcomes of everything he said, something inside her wouldn’t let her interrupt Gajeel, so she just listened and admired all the details he remembered.

“I remember all of it, but the parts spent with you feel empty. It’s like I have unfinished memories. Thank you for telling me.” Levy smiled at Gajeel. For a second, Gajeel was so stunned he couldn’t speak. Levy was looking at him with shining eyes, the sun behind them had started to set, casting an angelic glow behind her. And she had the brightest smile.

“It’s getting late. We should get back to the guild and figure out what happened.” Gajeel pushed his feeling away. This was not the time and the place to get flustered.

“Right. Because no one just forgets a person.” She smiled and got up with Gajeel and brushed away the grass that was stuck to her dress.

They walked to guild in silence. Levys was thinking over everything Gajeel had told her. From the way he spoke about her, she could tell how close they had gotten over an extended period of time. She felt grateful for Gajeel protecting her, noticing things about her some wouldn’t. Levy felt like she had grown since meeting Gajeel, and she knew Gajeel had done the same since joining the guild and meeting her.

Levy realized her perception of her current strength was thanks to Gajeel. He made her believe she was strong. Not in the way he or Natsu, Erza and Mira were. But in her own way. Levy had noticed how much Gajeel had focused on her overcoming things. She felt happy about Gajeel feeling proud about her being brave after the Phantom Lord attack; her intelligence and her ability to deeply care about people who were so used to being alone. That last one might have been Levy reading between the lines of Gajeels story but hey, a listener can take from a story anything they want.

“Gajeel wait.” They stopped just around the corner from the guild. Gajeel turned and looked at the smaller mage, curious about her intentions. Under his intense gaze, Levy suddenly felt nervous.

“Spit it out Shrimp. We don’t have all day.” he urged when Levy remained quiet and was looking anywhere else but him.

“I just wanted to say thank you again for telling me. I see now that Lucy was right about how close we were. And I’m so sorry for forgetting you.” Levy went on her tippy toes and barely touched her lips to Gajeels cheeks. She pulled away and without looking back went to the guild trying to hide her blush.

Gajeel stood frozen, his body felt like lightning had gone through it. And he’s been shot by Laxus more than once; at this point he was an expert at getting shot with lightning. The Shrimp had thanked him and kissed him. This would be the best day of his life if it weren’t for Levys memory loss. Quickly snapping out of it, he ran to Levy and reached her just when she opened the guild door.

Immediately eyes turned to them and everything went quiet. Some were looking at them with curiosity in their eyes, some were concerned, some had no idea what was going on so they were just confused. Gajeel and Levy walked down the aisle to the bar where Lucy, Mira and Master Makarov were sitting.

“My dear Levy. I’ve been brought up to speed with your situation and we have to get to the bottom of this.” Master Makarov greeted when Levy and Gajeel sat at the bar. Gajeel immediately ordered scraps of metal and started eating.

“I can try to heal you.” Wendy offered bouncing up at them with Carla behind her.

“Thank you Wendy. What do I do?” Levy asked ruffling the younger mages hair and smiling at her.

“Can you sit down on the floor so I can reach you?” The Sky Dragon Slayer blushed at the awkwardness her height, or lack thereof, brought along. Levy, who was used to being short and every inconvenience it provided, took pity on the smaller girl, and ignored her embarrassment, silently sitting on the floor with crossed legs and let Wendy do her thing. “Okay, now close your eyes and relax.”

Wendy placed her hands on each side of Levys head and let her magic flow through her hands and into Levys mind. Everyone watched in anticipation as green light shined around Levy. Wendy was taking deep breaths, steadying herself and making her slow down on her actions.

Levys mind was like a picture or text with missing pieces where Gajeel should have been. Wendt tried to reach in those holes of mind and pull out the underlying memory that lied there. She knew they were there; she sensed their magical power. But another magical power blocked each attempt she made. Poor girl tried so hard to get to every single missing memory, but they were many. Who would have known Levys mind was so full of the image and presence of Gajeel.

“I’m sorry.” Wendy whispered when the glowing stopped and she fell on the ground behind Levy. “I tried, but there is something blocking her memories. I’m so sorry.” Tears broke to the surface of her eyes and everyone couldn’t help but feel sorry for the her.

“Calm now, child. No need to make such a fuss about things.” Carla scolded when Wendy let out a shaky breath.

“It’s okay, Wendy. We’ll figure something out. Thank you for trying.” Levy turned around and wrapped Wendy in a hug. After a minute, when Wendy had calmed down, Levy went to sit down at the bar and let Wendy go nurse her slightly bruised ego.

“It would seem your problem is magic by nature. And powerful at that.” Master Makarov said more to himself that anyone else. “What do you remember of your last mission?” he turned to Levy making her think for a moment.

“I remember me and Lily arriving at the forest we were supposed to help an old lady collect herbs. One of which was on a high mountain top, so I guess that’s why I brought Gajeel with me.” She turned to him, and he nodded affirming her guess. “We got what we needed, got back to the old lady, she paid us, and we left.”

“Are you certain nothing else happened? No enchantments you might have stepped in; no spells casted by the old lady?” Levy thought for a moment and shook her head making Makarov sigh.

“There was the flower.” Gajeel said with a piece of iron hanging from his mouth.

“What flower?” Levy turned to him as did everyone else in the immediate vicinity.

“Before we left, the old hag gave you a pink flower, but it was gone by the time we got to the station.”

“Do you remember the flower, Levy?” Makarov questioned slowly connecting the dots.

“Can’t say I do.” Levy was feeling worse and worse by the second. The headache from earlier was coming back with a vengeance but she just wrote it off as a side effect of Wendy going through her mind.

“Then we can presume the flower has something to do with this.” Makarov really wished it didn’t. As much as he hated the violent streak of his guild, The Master could admit that finding a person responsible for this would be easier. But a flower. It provided endless possibilities – an enchanted flower, a curse placed upon it, naturally magical flower etc.

However, Masters concerns and worries couldn’t match Gajeels. He sat as quiet as possible, shoving iron in his mouth, and trying to ignore everything he was feeling. Last nights dream was looming over his head feeding his hopelessness. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t forget what the black figure, The Messenger of Death, said to him. Their cold voice sent shivers down Gajeels spine.

“Hey, Gramps.” Gajeel swallowed his pride and iron. It didn’t hurt to ask, right? “Do you know what Amor Languorem is?”

Chapter Text

“Boy, what do you know?” a threatening aura fell around Master Makarov. Gajeel felt like he had done something wrong by asking his question, but Levy was intrigued. Mira, noticing the change in The Masters demeanor subtly stepped away from the party of three.

“Nothing. Just asking.” Gajeel tried to backtrack, but it was too late.

“What’s wrong, Master?” curse Levy and her curiosity but Master just ignored her.

“Gajeel, you will tell me, and you will tell me now. What do you know of Amor Languorem?” Gajeel gulped. Sure, the Master was a small man, but the Iron Dragon Slayer knew what he was capable of. There was no telling what would happen if one got on the wrong side of the Fairy Tail Master Makarov. Actually, he knew what would happen – complete and utter annihilation. The fall of Phantom Lord was fresh in his memory.

“Nothing. I just had a dream where The Shrimp died and The Messenger of Death,” he made air quotes while saying the title, “told me that. And that’s all I know.” Gajeel hid the crying and screaming that was caused by finding Levy dead in his bed. No one needed to know that. But the girl sensed something was wrong and she sent a comforting glance Gajeels way.

“If you say is true, Levy will die.”

This shut even Levy up. Gajeel stopped eating and just stared at The Master.

“What do you mean, Levy will die?” Gajeel exclaimed a bit louder than he intended. Much too loud. Everyone at the guild stopped what they were doing and looked at them. Gajeel didn’t care about the looks, the dream replayed itself in his mind too vividly for his liking. He didn’t want to experience that kind of pain ever again and he would be damned if he let it happen.

“What is he talking about, Master?” Lucy asked walking up the group hoping she misheard. Master Makarov sighed and looked at his guild, his children. It hurt to deliver such news, but someone had to do it.

“It would seem Levy has fallen ill with Amor Languorem. It is more widely known as the Sickness of the Heart.” Gasps were heard all around the guild hall.

“I’ve heard of it. Not much is known about Amor Languorem, however, mages who suffer from this lose their memories and die in a span of a month.” Erza was as calm as ever but her words fell heavy. Levy didn’t notice the looks of pity being sent her way. She was too busy wrapping her mind around her fate. She would die. But then again, everyone died someday, hers might come early.

“Levy,” Lucy whispered and went to hug her friend who was sitting still in her bar stool. Gajeel on the other hand was fuming. Every fiber of his being boiled with anger and, unlike in the dream, he let it loose. Sending his iron flying, Gajeel grabbed Master Makarov by the collar and pulled him face to face.

“How dare you.” he growled. In the corner of his eye, Gajeel saw Erza equip a sword and point it his way.

“Put the Master down.” She warned. Gajeel looked at her and pushed Makarov away.

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy! How are you not affected by this?” he said in a low voice matching Erzas threat, “How many times has Levy saved your ass and all you can do is sentence her to death? Where is the feared Titania, the protector of her friends? Why am I the only one showing emotion?” he yelled the last part and challenged Erza with a single look.

“Do not presume I am not affected by this.” Erza made her sword disappear and she dropped her hand, but her eyes never left Gajeels. “I am composing myself for Levys sake. You should be thinking about how this affects her not me or anyone else.”

Levy… of course he should be thinking about her and not Erza. He would put her in the forefront of his thoughts if anger wouldn’t be ruling every inch of him. But Gajeel tried to calm down. For Levys sake. He clenched his shaking fists and turned to small mage who was still sitting at the bar, looking at her hands.

“Shrimp.” A whisper fell from his lips. Levy turned to look at him. Tears were falling down her cheeks, but she still managed to send him her bright smile.

“It’s okay Gajeel. Don’t be mad. We’ll find something.” She tried to comfort him. But that just made Gajeel even angrier. He should be the one comforting his Shrimp not the other way around.

“How can I not be mad?” Gajeel stood next to Levy and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and let his hand rest on her cheek. The guild was long forgotten. The only thing Gajeel could concentrate on was making Levy feel better. “I should have realized the flower was cursed or something. I should have sensed it. What good is my Dragon Slayer magic if I can’t save you? It’s all my fault.” he wiped tears from her cheeks making Levy smile and press her cheek in his palm.

“None of this is your fault. It was my mission, my reward. There was no reason for you to suspect a flower from an old lady.” Gajeel took a shaky breath to stop himself from crying. He wanted to be strong for Levy, wanted her to see he could save her. So, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. Levy smiled and wrapped her hands around his waist.

“I’ll fix this, Shrimp, I promise. Be alive when I come back.” He whispered in her hair so only Levy could hear it.

“I promise.” Levy whispered in his chest. He held her for a moment longer, breathed in her scent to lock it in his memory while being away. He wanted to remember every detail about how she felt in his arms, with her hands around him. How peaceful he felt despite the fact Levy had a month to live.

Slowly he unwrapped his hands from her and turned around to leave. He didn’t look back; he didn’t look left and right. Gajeel walked out of that guild with his head held high, knowing everyone was watching him and that Lily was following him out.

“You wanna go home?” Lucy asked Levy when everyone in the guild stopped starring either at the door or at Levy. She wiped the last of her tears away and nodded.

Levy walked out of the guild in a daze trusting Lucy to guide her to Fairy Hills. She couldn’t look at anyone, couldn’t say a single goodbye. The biggest brain in the guild was lost in itself and had no way out. It was painful to ignore anyone, but the looks she knew were sent her way kept Levy from returning them. She didn’t want pity; she didn’t want to see the tears or her loved ones. All Levy wanted to do was go home, wrap herself in the most comfortable blanket she had and read a book. The only way for her to deal with her problems was to sink into the world of the written word.

“Hey Levy,” Lucy nudged her zoned out friend.

“What’s up?” maybe talking will take her mind off of things.

“If you don’t mind my asking. What do you think of Gajeel now that you’ve talked to him?” the question was occupying Lucys mind ever since Levy and Gajeel came back from their talk.

“It’s interesting,” Levy began after a silence so long Lucy thought she didn’t hear the question, “I remember everything, only where Gajeel should be, there is nothing. I do remember how I felt, the pain, the fear, the worry. And now I have a face to put to those feelings. A reason for feeling them. In a way I feel validated.” Levy smiled and looked at starry sky above them. “I can tell Gajeel has changed a lot during our time together. And he has changed me, for which I will always be grateful.”

“In a way, it’s like you and Natsu.” Levys smiled at her friend who blushed at the mention of her pink haired friend.

“Speaking of which. As my best friend I have something to tell you.” Lucy looked at her feet.

“Oh, I’m so ready for this.” Levy squeeled sensing a bit of good news are coming her way.

“But you can’t tell anyone,” Lucy shot a look at Levy who nodded. Lucy clasped her hands behind her back, looked up at the stars and sent her friends up there a smile. “He told me he liked me.”

“When?” Levy gasped.

“While you and Gajeel were on a mission. I wanted to tell you as soon as you came back but then all this happened, and I didn’t want to impose.” Lucy looked at Levy who just beamed back at Lucy.

“Oh, Lu-chan. Don’t worry. I’m so happy about you two. You will have to tell me the details.” Levy steered the conversation to an end when Fairy Hills came into view.

“I will but not tonight. Good night, Levy.”

“Goodnight, Lu-chan!” Levy waved back at Lucy and went inside.

Lucy stood outside of Fairy Hills for a while longer waiting for the light in Levys room to come on. Through the window, Lucy watched Levy grab blankets and a book and settle out of her view. Tears swelled in her eyes as the memory of todays events resurfaced. Levy couldn’t die. She was her best friend. There had to be something. She knew Gajeel had gone to look for a cure, but maybe there was something she could also do. After all, Lucy was a Fairy Tail wizard which meant giving up on friends and family is not an option. With newfound determination, Lucy turned around and walked home.

That night, after Levy had finished her book and cried about the end (and her own fate) and Gajeel had packed for his long trip, when sleep claimed the two mages, a hidden desire manifested as a dream from the depths of the sleepers’ minds.

Levy was sitting in the middle of a huge bed, a book comfortably rested against her bent knees, and she was as focused on the book as she could be.

“Levy,” a gruff voice pulled Levy from her story, and she looked up. Gajeel was standing at the foot of the bed wearing black slacks and a white (very tight fitted) shirt. She placed the book next to her, got on her knees and smiled at the Dragon Slayer in front.

“Yes, my love?” she practically purred and beckoned the larger man to join her in bed. Something dark flashed in his eyes, as Gajeel crawled over the bed to his lover. He stopped in front of Levy and caressed her cheek. She looked in his deep red eyes and leaned in his touch pressing a light kiss to his palm.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too, Gajeel.” He whispered back and leaned in to press her lips against his. Their lips moved against each other, neither wanting to stop. Gajeel gently bit her lip making Levy let out a small gasp. Not breaking the kiss, Levy moved to sit in Gajeels lap, pressing her hands against his chest. Gajeel let his hand wonder from her cheek downwards, his other hand joining on Levys hips. Wrapping around her small body, he pulled Levy even closer wanting to feel every inch of her. Levy smiled and slid her hands in his long locks marveling at how soft they were.

The break for air didn’t last long. Gajeel slid his hands from her back to grip Levys ass, they followed the soft curve to her thighs. Levy gasped at the trail of fire Gajeel left in his wake. Wanting to retaliate, she moved from his lips to his neck and left tiny trails of kisses all over it. Gajeel automatically threw his head back and let out a heavy breath, the grip on her thighs tightened.

One hard pull was all it took to send Levy falling on her back, Gajeel between her legs, his lips immediately on her neck. Levy wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer never stopping the gasps forced out with his kisses. Gajeel held himself up by one hand next to Levys head, the other slid down her side, along the curve of her hip and butt, squeezing his prize.

When Gajeel reached the strap of Levys dress on her shoulder, she moved her hands from his neck to the first button and fumbled to open it. After three were open, she slid her palms inside and lightly drew her nails over his skin. Gajeel let out a groan and slid his hand under Levys slip dress and teeth started dragging the strap down her shoulder.

Satisfied with his reaction, Levy continued popping open buttons one by one, exploring the flesh underneath it.

“Are you sure you want to continue this?” Gajeel panted just above Levys chest. She slid her hands to his shoulders under the shirt and pushed it off.

“Of course I am.” She smiled and Gajeel sat back to remove his shirt and Levys dress.

Chapter Text

Long time ago high deities lived among humans. Usually, they appeared in the form of high and mighty wizards, living their glory among the lesser. They governed with power and influence gaining the admiration and fear of everyone.

But not this Goddess. As the Goddess of Love, she lived among the peasants and servants, where love was pure and true and brought genuine happiness to people. She herself was a servant girl. Every day she would go to work for a human merchant and dutifully did her work. She did not mind being perceived as one of humans, She hid her powers, acting in secret.

Her special power was making people realize their true love feeling towards another. She was the patron of forbidden, hidden lovers and loud proclamations of love. And She was content. She loved Her close proximity to genuine feelings instead of unions and children born out of greed for money and power. She loved and loved but she in turn could not be loved back.

One might think it was a sad life She lived. Especially when the receiver of Her secret admiration was the young son of her employer. She kept quiet. She knew he could never love Her back.

As a God, She was beautiful and admired by peasants and the elite alike. During balls or get-togethers Her employer threw, on more than one occasions, She had to fight off advances from wealthy men and some women. Yet each time, she was wonderfully saved by the young man She fancied. And that was one of the reasons, The Goddess fell in love with him.

None knew of Her true power and ultimately that was for the best. It would offend and hurt people knowing someone else could see their deepest desires for love. She feared the negative effects that knowledge could cause. And her fears were proved right.

Full moon nights were the time The Goddess harnessed the energy of the Moon and replenished Her powers and strength. It was a sacred ritual only for Her and the forest animals to know. The merchants house, for who She worked for, stood at the edge of a thick forest. And on the other side of the forest was a cliff into the sea overseen by a beautiful meadow. She would go there and bathe in the direct moonlight with the sounds of crashing waves and the smell of the forest lulling Her into Nirvana of Her own power.

This night was a night like that. Walking through the forest to Her meadow, She could feel powers buzzing in Her veins. She was excited, She could not wait for the moment She would be alone and return to Her glory, letting everything free. She was practically running, that’s how free She felt.

But She was not alone. A safe distance behind the Goddess walked the man of her affections. He was curious where this beautiful peasant girl was running to and with any luck, he wished, he could be alone with Her.

You see, the young merchant boy wanted Her. He did not love Her but he lusted over Her. For a long time, he had wanted to take this girl, who hands down was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He felt like he deserved Her. After all, he had saved Her from unwanted attention many times before, he subtly convinced his father not to fire Her for a mistake of another servant. She owed him. And this would be the time She repaid Her debt.

The man stopped at the last line of forest trees and watched The Goddess. After all he was curious what She was doing here alone and waited for the perfect opportunity.

She walked to the middle of the meadow and stopped. She was looking at the moon and simply breathing in the magical air around Her. Slowly She undid Her clothes and when the last garment dropped the ground, the Moon shined on Her naked body like a lighthouse beacon.

She spread Her arms wide and let the light pick Her up off the ground. The man watched from afar, the woman he wanted transform in the light. Her hair turned white, Her body became so pale, She seemed to disappear in the light.

With the tiniest movement of her fingers, arms, even hair, she bent time and space around her. Tree leaves next to the man were moving slower, yet the weeds underneath The Goddess were flailing back and forth so fast they appeared blurry. She herself, was a ghost flickering in and out of existence.

“Come forth, you foolish man,” Her voice echoed everywhere around the man, like it came from the depths of the earth. Or more accurately, from the emptiness and loneliness of outer world. The man practically hypnotized walked forward. Wind was tossing his hair and clothes in every direction and powerful magic gripped every inch of his bones. Up until this point, the man only watched The Goddess gain power. And with Her power growing, so did the mans need to have Her.

Now, being this close to Her naked body, he could imagine how She would feel like underneath him, how She would taste like. He was a foolish man indeed, because at the height of Her power, The Goddess could see and feel everything. She felt sick from the images in his mind which showed Her weak and vulnerable. Things The Goddess was not.

He raised his arm to grasp the ankle of his power source, to bring Her down to his level but before he could even open his fingers, The Goddess turned around and looked down at the man. Everything stopped when his eyes met the black and empty eyes of the God. Finally, he took a break from lust and his gut feelings won. He was standing in front of a God. A God that looked like a demon who once was and angel. Her skin was so pale, blue veins shone through, Her white wild hair was whipping around in the wind making Her look wild and unhinged, Her red lips were inviting but held a promise of sin and pain. She was a fallen angel.

“Do you love me?” She asked fully aware of his true feelings. He was a lust-filled man who momentarily realized he should be scared. He drew his eyes from Hers and went over every inch of Her body.

“I do not.” He finally answered, his eyes returned to Hers. In response, She flew a little lower to reach for the man.

“Do you wish to take me?” she knew the answer. She could feel it in his heart. But he needed to consent. He needed to completely eradicate any feeling She had for him. Not that She felt them currently.

The only thing She felt was unimaginable power, love, and betrayal. She had known he was watching Her. She had hoped he would leave once he saw who She was. But he didn’t. He only wanted Her more and more and was ready to do whatever it took. She had to stop him. She had to take back the control She saw herself giving up in his fantasies.

“Yes.” His answer came out like a sigh. He wanted Her so much, he was breathless. Or maybe She just took his breath away.

The Goddess smiled and reached for the mans face. Very softly, She caressed his cheeks making his skin light on fire after Her touch. Once again lust ignited in his heart. She felt this and slowly guided the mans face to between Her legs.

“There is no take without give.” She softly whispered. Slowly, one by one, drops of blood painted the grass red underneath the man. Then, the drops turned into a steady stream. The Goddess pulled his head away from Her core and watched blood leak from every surface of his face. When he no longer had anything left to give, The Goddess let him go and he fell face first in the painted red grass. It seemed like everything stopped to observe the Goddess of Love mourn the man She loved. She didn’t feel guilty, he got what he deserved.

She looked down at his body with pity. She no longer loved him.

“Now you can take and take for the rest of your life, without giving anything back.”

At the height of Her power, The Goddess transformed the dead body of a man into a small flower destined to take the memories and lives of people who loved.

Hurt by betrayal, the Goddess left this realm and never came back.

Chapter Text

“Gajeel, you can’t keep going like this. We have to go home.” Lily pleaded with his partner after another pointless lead at the end of another pointless day.

“We can’t.” Gajeel growled back.

“If we don’t turn back now, Levy will be dead by the time we get back.” Gajeel closed his eyes at the mention of Levy. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about her at all during the three weeks he was searching for her cure. That was during the day.

During the night he was plagued by dreams of her. And them together. More than once, Gajeel forced himself to wake up from a dream where he saw Levys skin more than usual, or one of them was gasping the others name.

And more than once, Gajeel allowed these images play in his head to feel some kind of comfort in the moment. To live in the illusion everything was okay, and Levy loved him back. In the mornings after these dreams, he felt especially lonely, cold, and miserable. After the first time Gajeel woke up feeling like that, he cried ignoring Lily packing up their things.

Lily felt for his friend. He saw how miserable Gajeel looked each morning after either a sleepless night or a fantasy dream. And now he wanted to go home to say goodbye.

“Gajeel, we have to…”

“We can’t go back!” The Dragon Slayed screamed to the forest.

“Why?” Lily probed hoping to finally hear the thoughts of the man who had spoken to him only a handful of times.

“Because we don’t have anything.” Gajeel answered, his anger boiling within him. For so long he had tried to supress it, but it seemed, everything was about to burst out. And Lily saw that. Lily knew, Gajeel had to let his anger out to finally see everything more clearly. So, he continued to taunt him.

“Why are you so angry? Just get up and let’s go home.” Lily tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. But he wanted to go home, he wanted to be with Levy, and he knew why Gajeel was so angry. Now it was time for Gajeel to come to his senses.

“I’m not angry.” Gajeel forced with gritted teeth but the branch he snapped in half said otherwise. He was angry and had been since the moment he stepped out of his house at the beginning of his journey.

“Yes, you are. And you need to deal with it. So come on.” Lily had no time for Gajeels childish antics. They had things to do.

“I don’t have to deal with ANYTHING!” Gajeel yelled the last part and threw the broken branch as was as possible.

“You do.” Lily watched from a safe distance Gajeel stand up and start pacing around their campsite.

“So what if I’m angry? I have every right to be.” He reasoned. There was turmoil in his mind. And like it or not, Gajeel had to admit, talking about it made him feel better. Pacing back and forth, he could put his thoughts in their right places and force them out into the world. And he was thankful for Lily who knew how to press his buttons enough to get him to open.

“Who are you angry at?” if this situation wouldn’t be as tragic as it was, Lily could joke about sounding like a therapist guiding his patient by the hand to the right path. But they both knew what they were doing, even without words.

“I’m angry at myself. I’m angry at the world,” Gajeel threw his hands open and spun around like he’s challenging the world to fight him for this injustice. But none fought him, so he fell against a tree and buried his face between his hands. “I’m angry at Levy.” He whispered.

“Why are you angry with her?” Lily stood up from his rock and walked to Gajeel and sat in front of him. Gajeel took his hands from his face and patted Lily on his head.

“I don’t know, buddy. I feel like she’s leaving me. But it’s worse, cause she’s dying.” He whispered.

“Do you like her?” Lily knew the answer, he wanted to know if Gajeel knew it. But blown out his anger, Gajeel could only cry at the thought of this question. He was tired of lying to himself and Lily. He didn’t want to fight again; he was too weak to fight back. So, he let the tears fall and smiled a sad smile at Lily.

“I love her, man.” Lily smiled and waited for Gajeel to continue. “I want to go back. I want to be there with her. But I can’t because I let her down. I didn’t find a cure, or even a possible cure. All I found out was a stupid legend and that even doesn’t help.” Lily put his paw on Gajeels leg. He wiped away his tears, took a breath and continued.

“Lily I’m scared to go back because I don’t know how she is. I’m scared to be there to watch her die. I don’t want to see that because if Levy dies, I die too.”

“I’m scared too. And I also don’t want to see her die. But you must tell her how you feel, maybe you get out a couple of good days.” Lily tried to make light of the situation and Gajeel even smiled a little but the mood suffocatingly sombre.

“Why are you always right, cat?” Gajeel knew why Lily was always right. Lily was smart, he thought things through. And Lily knew what to do in every situation. Just like his Shrimp. “Tell you this. We go back, we see how Levy is and then we take a long, well-paying job.” Gajeel scooped Lily in his arms and stood up.

“Alright. But promise me you will tell Levy how you feel about her.” Gajeel smiled and ruffled Lily’s fur.

“You have a deal cat.” Lily smiled and flew out of Gajeels arms to start packing for their journey back.

It took the pair almost a week to get back to Magnolia. This time, traveling back, Gajeel felt lighter, he didn’t feel the anger he felt before. He was scared though. Scared of the state Levy might be in, scared of her disappointment in him for not finding a cure. Most of all, scared of her death.

It was hard not to run to the Guild when it came into view. Lily had no pretences to upkeep so he flew ahead and Gajeel could hear the Guild doors slammed open by the Exceed. After a few moments, Gajeel walked in the Guild making everyone turn to him.

In the past almost 4 weeks, with the date of her death pretty much set, Levy had done a lot. She had contacted a lawyer, drawn up her will, gone on easy jobs and paid for her apartment beforehand. She had even gone through every one of her books and made a list of books to donate to the library, schools etc. But most importantly, she had written her last letters to her closest friends. Ironically, Gajeels letter was the longest.

Levy had come to terms with the fact that she was dying. There was an aura of ignorance around her concerning her sickness and death. It was sad and unfortunate, of course, but she was a wizard and wizards died young. However, she was a little bit bitter about not dying in a battle. Her death will be the result of stupidity and a war of hearts.

Speaking of her unfortunate ailment, it was barely noticeable. It wasn’t like any other magical sickness Levy had read about. Amour Languorem didn’t come with drained magical power, or the risk of losing one’s mind, it didn’t cause Levy any kind of pain that would indicate she was dying. However, she was troubled.

Levy kept replying in her mind the moments she had shared with Gajeel and forgotten. She hoped the more she thought about him, the more she’s gonna remember. But the only thing she actually remembered on her own were his blood red eyes. It was weird how much Levy thought about Gajeel. During the day she analysed everything he had told her in hopes of remembering more and during the night she was plagued by dreams of Gajeel in various positions and many causes of death.

She was so consumed by this one man, Levy forgot to eat, drink, in the last week Levy hadn’t gone to the Guild. Because of this, she had lost weight in the short period of time she was cooped up in her room. And the more Levy thought about Gajeel, the more her head hurt which made her nose bleed.

On this particular day, Lucy had gone to see Levy, worried she had already died. Instead, the doors were opened by a ghost of once so alive and joyful Levy. Her eyes were sunken in, with huge bags underneath. Her lips cracked, cheeks hollowed, and she looked so much smaller than she did before.

“Lu-chan! What are you doing here?” Levy asked with a smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes that did not match her outer appearance. Lucy was so taken aback by her friend’s appearance, she had to double check the room number to make sure she was at the right door.

“Levy, are you okay?” Lucy asked pushing past the small wizard and walked in her room.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Levy was surprised by the sudden concern of her friend. Personally, Levy felt fine, maybe slightly tired, but other than that she was fine.

“When was the last time you ate?” Lucy asked going through the small fridge in the corner of Levys room, “You have no food here.”

“Oh, I haven’t been much hungry lately.” Levy scratched the back of her head and looked at her feet feeling guilty in front of her friend.

“Get dressed, Levy. We’re gonna get some food in you.” only now Levy remembered eating was a basic human function she had been ignoring in favour of thoughts of Gajeel. She took a quick shower, put on her dress and with still damp hair left with Lucy.

At the guild everyone couldn’t keep their eyes away from Levy. They hadn’t seen her in almost two weeks, and she had changed so drastically. She, one the other hands, was waving at everyone like she had no care in the world. Everyone wrote it off as Levy fighting in her last moments. It seemed everyone had accepted her fate.

“Hey, Mira. Give me something warm and delicious.” Levy was as friendly as ever and Mira couldn’t help but be absorbed in her illusion of “everything is okay”. Soon Levy was sitting the counter with a dowl of Mira’s famous stew and chatted away with Lucy and Mira.

“So how are you and Natsu?” Levy teased and laughed when Lucy turned completely red.

“Concerned about you but we’re good.” Lucy smiled and rubbed Levys arm trying to comfort her.

“Why are you concerned about me?” Levy was confused. She was fine, there was no reason for Lucy and Natsu to be concerned.

“You know, because of your sickness. Levy we all are scared and sorry for you.” Lucy tried again to be comforting but that just angered Levy more.

“What? Just because I lost a bit of memory, everyone is too scared to talk to me? Lucy I’m fine. It’s been a month and I feel great. Honestly, I’m starting to think there is no such thing as Amor Languorem.” Levy made little air quotes and laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“How can you say you’re fine, Levy? Have you looked in the mirror?” Lucy was losing her patience. How could Levy not see she was losing her mind? Her brilliant, beautiful mind?

“How dare you, Lucy! I have done everything I could do in preparations for my death. So what if I had a few sleepless nights? I’m about to die!” Levy yelled at Lucy and got off the bar stool and started to walk away. By now Levy and Lucy had turned every eye in the Guild towards them, but they didn’t care or notice.

“I’m just trying to help you, Levy. You look so tired; you haven’t eaten anything in days. For crying out loud, your whole house is covered in weird symbols and words. I’m scared you’re losing your mind.” Lucy yelled after Levy making her stop and turn around.

“Losing my mind? I am the smartest wizards in this Guild, do not compare me to your mindless flame brain of a boyfriend.” Levy bit back not caring about the tears she brought to Lucy. “You think I’m losing my mind? Fine, I am going to prove to you I’m not.” Levy scanned the Guild, looking for her two lackies.

“Jet. Droy.” She walked towards them. “Tomorrow, 9am we do a job of your choosing.” Jet and Droy simply nodded scared of the rage Levy seemed to exhibit. They had never seen her like this, their sweet and innocent Levy could never be this rude. “How is that for losing my mind?” Levy turned back to Lucy.

“Levy, your nose.” She whispered, tears running down her cheeks.

“What about my nose? Is it bleeding?” Levy asked and touched her upper lip to check for herself. Lucy nodded and went to give her a napkin, but Levy pushed it away. “Don’t need it. This will be the death of your lovely Levy anyway.” She said in a voice that did not sound entirely like Levy and turned to walk away.

Right in that moment, the Guild doors opened letting in a small flying cat who immediately flew to Levy.

“Levy, you’re still alive.” Lily sighed and hugged her. “Your nose is bleeding, are you okay?” Lily asked looking up at her, but Levy just pushed him off with a scowl.

“Get off me cat. I am perfectly fine no thanks to you.” Levy was acting uncharacteristically mean making Lily fly back in shock and look at Lucy for support.

“I’m sorry Lily, it’s not your fault.” Lucy tried to calm Lily but ended up letting out broken sobs. At this point none dared to move. Not even Natsu to comfort his girlfriend.

“Of course, it’s his fault. You all are at fault!” Levy yelled turning her back to the door addressing everyone on the Guild. To everyone’s surprise, Levy started levitating, her eyes went black, and her sky-blue hair turned white.

“None of you loved her!” she proclaimed in a voice cold and distant. “Levy could have been saved if even just one of you would have told the truth and loved her!” everyone was staring at Levy in shock. “But the guiltiest of them all. Gajeel Redfox!” Levys body turned around to face Gajeel just as he stepped foot through the door.

Gajeel stopped in the doorway and stared at Levy like everyone else. This was not Levy. This was not his sweet and innocent bookworm he left to find a cure for. This was an evil spirit using her body.

“Gajeel Redfox.” Levy practically purred and with her magic pulled him closer. “She loved you, Gajeel. Even before I took her memories away. But your thick head didn’t see it. and instead of confessing your true feelings and saving her, you left Levy to die.” The being using Levys body flew around Gajeel, taunting him with Levy so close but unable to be saved.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Gajeel growled. He hated whoever was using Levys mouth to talk, stringing her in the air like a doll. For a second, he saw Levy crucified on the tree by him, but Gajeel quickly pushed his thoughts down.

“I do not matter, Gajeel Redfox.” Levys arms ran over Gajeels shoulders but there was nothing warm about her touch. It was cold and distant, like the voice that came out of her mouth. “The only thing that matters is that Levy loved you,” she whispered in his ear sending cold shivers down his spine.

“You’re lying.” Gajeel shook his head. He refused to believe this spirit about Levys feelings towards him. And he knew Levy could never love someone like him. Gajeel did not have the strength to hear these lies. “You’re lying!” he shouted at Levy and clenched his fists. He wanted to use his Dragon Slayer magic, but it was Levys body after all. He could not bring himself to hurt her.

“Why would I lie to you? I’ve been in her mind since the beginning.” Levy flew in front of Gajeel and ghosted her fingers across his cheek, “She loves you Gajeel. She can’t stop thinking about you. She is so consumed by thoughts of you she barely eats, barely sleeps. Oh, but the dreams she has.” Levy laughed like this was just one big joke to her and flew above everyone looking down at them.

“Levy loved all of you. But you all let her down. She will die because of Gajeel Redfox and his stupidity. Do not forget that.” The spirit proclaimed, blood started pouring from Levys eyes, ears, nose and mouth and a white light shone from Levys body blinding everyone.

Gajeel hid his eyes and blinked them open barely in time to catch Levy falling from mid-air. Without thinking, Gajeel jumped to catch her and landed in the middle of the Guild.

“No,” he whispered looking over Levys body which now had regained its original colouring. He did not find a pulse. “No, no, nooo!” Gajeel threw his head back and screamed.

It felt just like the dream. Tears fell from his eyes onto the body of his loved one, sobs were breaking out left and right. Gajeel fell on his knees and pulled Levys body close. He leaned over it, his hair providing a curtain of privacy. Just like in the dream, Gajeel cried not caring about everyone around him. He mourned the love of his life and cursed his insecurities for not confessing sooner.

The pain, the helplessness, the raw roars of a dragon were just like in the dream. Only this time, when Gajeels throat was too raw to scream, he whispered quiet I love you’s. Gajeel made quiet promises of protection if only she would return to him. He swore to never leave her, if only she would come back to him now. It was agonizing to watch, let alone feel it. Gajeel pressed kisses all over her face ignoring the blood and promised to kiss her everyday for the rest of their lives if only she would answer to these.

Everyone around Gajeel and Levy were crying. Levy had died and they had the front row seats to the show that is Dragons Sorrow after losing his mate. Everyone was feeling guilt and sorrow and anger. Mostly at themselves.

“It’s all your fault!” Jet yelled at Gajeel and using his super speed pushed him away from Levy. Gajeel did not have time to react, so he ended up on his back, couple feet away from Levys body. Jet ran to Gajeel, stood over him and beat him, every punch followed by a curse, a death wish, a blame for Levys death.

Gajeel just laid on the floor and took the punches. Gajeel silently cried and took everything Jet had to give. And Gajeel agreed. Gajeel knew it was his fault Levy died, he had hurt her before so why did he even try to be better? Gajeel took the guilt and anger and pain Jet was projecting and made it his own. In that moment Gajeel wanted to die. He wanted to die because without Levy, there was nothing to live for.

“You should have died!” Jet yelled in Gajeels face one last time before being pulled off him by Erza. Made sure Jet was a safe distance away, Erza bent down and pulled Gajeel up.

“I know.” Gajeel said wiping the tears and blood from his face. He freed his arm from Erzas grip and tried to smooth back his hair out of his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I won’t be here for long.” Gajeel muttered and turned around to leave.

“Please don’t go.” I small voice came from behind Gajeel making him stop. It sounded like Levy, like the real her. But she was dead. This must be a trick Gajeels mind was playing on him. He shook his head and started walking to the door.

“Gajeel,” the voice cried out again, this time stronger. And this time Gajeel gave in and turned to where the body of Levy should have laid. Instead, he was greeted by the image of Levy standing up with the help of Lucy and Mira. Her smile was bright despite the blood on her face.

“This can’t be.” Gajeel whispered moving to stand in front of her. But his eyes didn’t lie to him. In front of him, really stood Levy, alive, breathing, and smiling.

Gajeel smiled and moved his arms to hug her but stopped. He noticed how big his arms were compared to the frail figure in front of him. Gajeel didn’t want to hurt her anymore than he already had. But Levy had no time for pleasantries. She broke out of Lucy’s and Mira’s hold and fell around Gajeels neck. Now he had no choice but to hug her back.

Gajeel buried his nose in her hair and inhaled. The smell of his beloved brought fresh tears to his eyes and this time he let them flow freely. With Levy in his arms, Gajeel felt alive again. And he will not take his second life for granted.

“I love you, Levy.” He whispered in her ear pulling her closer if it was even possible. In response Levy let out a shy giggle and pulled back as much as the big arms around her allowed and took Gajeels face in her hands.

“I love you.” she said looking in his eyes and pulled his face in for a kiss.

It would be a lie, if Gajeel denied how happy he felt.