Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I’ve told you once and i will not tell you again. This is your problem not mine.”
Kaz said sternly, without looking at Jesper, who was walking lazily beside him. Kaz noticed how Jesper had to slow his strides in order to match Kaz’s pace. He assumed this must bother Jesper as it would him, though he and Jesper were very diffrent. “Oh come on Kaz! It won’t even take that long! Cross my heart! ” Jesper replied, making an ‘X’ across his chest. Kaz stopped and turned to face him. Jesper grinned at him. “Ok.” Kaz sighed. “But this is the last time, in future you do your own homework.” Jesper clicked his tongue and said his thanks.

Kaz removed his backpack and handed it to Jesper to hold, along with his cane, as he unzipped his bag and rummaged around for his business homework from yesterday evening. He searched in all his folders and in between pages of copy books before concluding he must have forgotten to bring it to school. “Something wrong?” Jesper asked when Kaz mumbled a curse under his breath. “I must have-” he began before being cut off by the sound of his name being called, from halfway down the hall. “You forget this last night!” Kaz turned to the source of the voice. Inej was running down the hall flawlessly maneuvering her way through the crowd of people blocking the corridor, a couple pardons falling from her lips.

When she reached Kaz she handed him a slip of paper folded in half. He looked at her, and back down at the paper before unfolding it to reveal his business homework from last night. “Thank you darling, you’re a star” Kaz told Inej, passing the paper to Jesper. “I need it back before fourth period.” he said, with a slight nod of his head. Jesper nodded back. “You forgot your homework again Jesper?” Inej said placing both her hands on her hips. “Ah, but, i didn’t” Jesper replied, “I simply chose not to do it” he finished, emphasizing the ‘t’ of the final word.

Inej shook her head and turned to look at Kaz. “You’re still around later, yeah?” she asked.
Of course he was, he was always free for Inej. It was pathetic really. I mean was she really all that? Yes. Did he really like her that much? Yes. Absolutely yes. Kaz’s thoughts were interrupted by Jesper wolf whistling. Inej and Kaz both looked at him. “What?” Kaz snarled. Jesper looked startled at Kaz’s sudden reaction. “Never mind” Jesper said slowly , eyes darting between Kaz and Inej. Inej laughed. That laugh. “We’re just studying and doing homework, Jes, you’re welcome to come along! Right Kaz?” Before Kaz could think of a reply Jesper chimed in. “Thanks but uh no thanks” he said. “You see, i don’t really plan on doing either of those things anytime soon.” He winked at Inej. Kaz rolled his eyes at his antics. “Ok, if you change your mind, we’re at my house until 10.” She winked in return. Jesper placed his arm around Inej and the three of set off towards homeroom.

“Good morning Ilya High!” echoed Nikolai Lantsov’s voice over the PA system. Kaz wished they’d chosen anyone else to do morning announcements this year, and last year for that matter. He couldn’t stand the sound of the senior’s voice. A couple of girls giggled from the back of the class. Mr. Botkin raised his finger to shush them and the giggles died immediately. “Welcome back for another week, we are happy to have you, and hope you’re happy to be here” Kaz held back a scoff. Lantsov was probably the most arrogant person he knew. He was tolerable at the beginning of Kaz’s freshman year. Half way through last year, Zoya Nazyalensky admitted to having a small crush on him in her freshman year and Nikolai’s ego only tripled in size since then.

Kaz glanced over at Inej, sitting two rows behind him, 3 spaces to the left. She was half standing leaning over her desk, talking in a hushed whisper to her friend Nina Zenik, who was seated in front of her. Kaz liked Nina, she was always full of confidence, which he admired about her. He wasn’t too fond of her boyfriend, Matthias Helvar, but he supposed himself and Helvar had a mutual respect for each other, even if he wasn’t sure why.

“As always,” Nikolai continued “Remember to-what?” Nikolai paused and Kaz heard a few people murmuring, no doubt speculating what could be so important that that someone interrupted Lantsov (god forbid). “Ah yes, thank you David.” Nikolai cleared his throat “I am happy to announce that Principal Baghra has allowed us to go forward with the spring musical”. Kaz was suddenly intrigued. He himself loved musicals, even if he never wanted to admit it to anyone. “With some alterations of course, the production coming to stage this February is,” Nikolai paused, knowing him, for dramatic effect. “Heathers the musical.” There was scattered applause and cheers throughout the classroom. Heathers the musical, one of Kaz’s favorites. “My good friend, David Kostyk, will be managing the musical, auditions will be held in the theatre next Friday afternoon. There will be a sign up sheet pinned to the notice board by the end of the day. We encourage you all to step out of your comfort zones and audition!”

There was no way Kaz was auditioning. What would people think of him? Although, he was an average singer and a reasonable actor. It’s not as if he’d had no experience. He took musical theatre classes from the time he was 5 until he was 12. Jordie used to take him every Wednesday at 5pm after he’d finished work. After Jordie, he’d stopped going. No one could take him then.

“That’s all for this morning. Have a good day folks!” Nikolai concluded. Folks. What was wrong with that kid? Kaz felt someone tip him on the back, he shuddered at the sudden physical contact but turned slightly in his seat. Jesper was sitting behind him. He looked eager to have a conversation about the musical. Kaz fully turned in his seat and cleared his throat. “Go on then.” he sighed. Jesper’s eyes lit up.

“I’m auditioning for Ram’s dad. I mean, that role is made for me.”

“Jesper, wouldn’t you prefer a more..central role?”

“Oh no, i bet the leads will go to the seniors, but even then, all i want is to sing ‘My dead gay son’ on stage. I know that i would do it like no one else could.”

Jesper said very quickly his eyes traveling to each student in the room. “I’m sure you could” Kaz agreed. “I’m-“ he paused, “Looking forward to it.” he said more quietly. Jesper leaned back in his chair. “You?” he scoffed “You’re looking forward to the musical? Don’t you hate anything with, i don’t know, life?” Kaz straightened himself. “I actually don’t particularly dislike musicals” Jesper’s eyes widened.

“No way” he said “You’re a theatre kid. Kaz Brekker is a theatre kid!” he whisper shouted.

“Keep your voice down! I- Stop smiling you look like an idiot.”

Jesper’s smile dropped to a smirk.

“I simply said that I can enjoy a good musical.”

“Words of a theatre kid”

“Jesper if you don’t-”

Kaz’s words were cut off by the first period bell. All of a sudden Inej was beside him and Jesper. “I think i’ll audition for the lead” she said cooly stifling a yawn.

“As much as i’d love to see you as Veronica Sawyer, I don’t think David Kostyk will give the lead to a Sophomore.”

“Well-”

“Why not?” Kaz cut in “I mean, if Inej’s audition is the best out of everyone’s. Then why not give her the role?” Jesper raised his eyebrows. “They never give roles to sophomores. It’s just how it is” Kaz hummed in response cocking his head slightly to one side and looking past Jesper.
“Scheming face? Do you think?” Inej whispered to Jesper. “Oh definitely” he replied.

Kaz knew he could audition and most likely succeed the seniors in landing the lead role. He definitely could see himself playing JD. Who would play Veronica? Oh god, he didn’t even want to think about that. ‘Maybe Inej’ he thought sarcastically to himself. Oh. Inej.

“What on earth are the you three still doing here!” bellowed Mr. Botkin snapping Kaz out of his thoughts, “Get to first period! Now.” Kaz quickly rose from his seat and nodded his head toward his teacher before heading out the door, schoolbag slung across one shoulder, while Inej and Jesper muttered apologies and followed him.

-

Kaz would be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by the new boy that Nina had brought to sit at their table at lunch. He had pale skin which agreed well with his ruddy gold curls and bright blue eyes. He introduced himself as Wylan Van Eck. “Wylan’s new,” Nina had told him, Inej and Jesper, when she arrived at lunch that day, linking arms with both the new boy and Matthias. “He transferred from-where did you say again?” Kaz looked over at Wylan who was sitting beside Nina, he was staring at his lunch as if it had just insulted him. He looked up when he noticed all eyes on him. “Juris Educational College” he said, not a hint of pride in his voice. Inej let out a slight gasp. “That’s….a great school Wylan, why did you have to move-”

“What’s so great about it?” Jesper interrupted. He was staring Wylan down with his eyes slightly narrowed. Wylan shifted under his gaze. “Well” Wylan started, a little bit nervous this time, “It’s really hard to get into, it’s…a private school.” Jesper scoffed. “Makes sense” he said. Wylan tilted his head to one side and furrowed his eyebrows. Jesper went on, “It’s just so obvious that you’re a private school kid. Transferred for a normal freshman year did you?”

“I’m a Sophomore!”

“What?! You’re barely 14!”

“I’m fifteen!”

“Like that’s so diffrent”

“Ok.” Kaz cut in. “Enough, stop-Jesper i’m serious” he said when he saw Jesper about to speak again. “Van Eck” Kaz said curiously. Wylan made a small, but visible flinch at the sound of his last name. “Where do i know that name from?” Kaz raised his eyebrows. Wylan mumbled something about his father. “Jan Van Eck, no?” Kaz asked placing his gloved hands on the table and pressing his fingers together.

“Why are you still wearing gloves, Brekker?” Matthias spoke for the first time since sitting down. “We’re indoors.” Kaz shifted his gaze slowly to Matthias. “Because, Helvar, it’s still Winter.” Matthias rolled his eyes as Nina pat his shoulder. Disgusting. “Anyway, Wylan?” Wylan pressed his lips together,then opened his mouth and closed it again as if look for the right words. “Yes” he said finally “He’s my…father.”

“Who’s Jan Van Eck?” Jesper asked, putting his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his hand. “He’s an entrepreneur, a businessman.” Wylan answered.

“You’re dad’s a merchant?” Jesper said, smirking

“Well, merchant is a pretty outdated term but essentially yes.”

“You’re the son of a merchant who went to a private school.” Jesper stated

“Well, yes-what’s so funny?!”

Jesper snorted. “It’s nothing, it’s nothing” he said, “It’s just that-” Inej put her hand on Jesper’s shoulder. “Jes, that’s really enough” she said softly. He held up his hands and winked at Wylan. Wylan blushed and suddenly became very interested in the sleeve of his sweater.

“So, Wylan, why did you move schools? You still haven’t told us.” Inej said. She took a sip from her water bottle and offered it to Kaz. He shook his head. That was quite an intimate gesture, no? Would you offer your water bottle to someone if you didn’t really like them? Kaz wouldn’t. He would for Inej. Then she offered it to Jesper and he realised he was probably overthinking it. It was stupid really.

“I moved house.” Wylan said, so quickly that his words almost became one. Kaz didn’t believe it. What had the kid done? Vandalism? Assault? No, he wouldn’t. For all he knew it was something as innocent as cheating on an exam.

“Aw, that’s unfortunate, but this is a great school!” Inej said enthusiastically. Matthias laughed out loud and pointed his finger at Inej. “Good joke.” he said still recovering from his laughter. “What he means is,” Nina said “It’s no private school, but it is good and the people are very friendly.” Kaz looked over towards the Senior’s tables.

Zoya Nazyalensky was having a very heated argument about god knows what with Nadia Zhabin. No doubt Zoya was succeeding. Nadia’s girlfriend, Tamar Kir-Baatar was watching her twin brother Tolya read- no, preform a poem from a notebook of his. Genya Safin was combing her fingers through her boyfriend, David Kostyk’s, hair and whispering something in his ear. Kaz didn’t want to know. Mal Oretsev and Alina Starkov were finishing homework, stopping only to quickly doodle on each other’s papers. Hearts, suns, things like that. Finally, there was Nikolai and his best friend Dominik. Kaz believed that Dominik was tolerable on his own but together the two were insufferable. They were whispering to each other and giggling like little girls. Nikolai caught Kaz’s eyes and nodded. Despite strongly disliking Nikolai, he was definitely someone who’s good side Kaz wanted to be on. He was insanely rich and his brother, Vasily, bet on almost anything and everything. If Nikolai Lantsov ever decided to throw a house party, Kaz knew you hat he’d want to be there, making easy money off Vasily Lantsov. He nodded back.

The bell for 5th period rang. “Do you know where this is?” Wylan asked Inej quietly, pointing to his timetable. “Looks like we have the same classes for the rest of the day!” she replied “Follow me.” They got up from the table, set their trays on top of the bin and left the lunch room. Jesper appeared beside Kaz as he was checking he had his stuff for 5th period and began ranting about Wylan and how odd he is and “Why is he so weird about his Dad!?” Kaz kept looking forward adding the occasional “Mhm” as the both of them walked to their class.

-

The end of the day came fast enough and Kaz headed to the back exit to meet Inej. She was already there when he arrived, her eyes trained on something on the notice board, clicking a pen in her hand. The sign up sheet for the musical. He stopped beside her. She turned to him.

“I will if you do.”

“Inej I-”

“Kaz. Please.”

He didn’t hate the idea. Maybe just a small part? No, he couldn’t, it would ruin him. Even though everything inside him willed him not to, he knew he’d do anything if it was for her. For Inej.

He took the pen and very slowly, printed his name on the sheet.

Chapter Text

She didn’t want to audition for the musical. Genya made her do it. 

“Zoya,” she had said slowly, as they stood at the back entrance to Ilya High, where the sign up sheet was, “Could you imagine, me, you and Alina got the roles of the heathers!” 

Zoya wrinkled her nose and looked at Alina. “You agreed to this?” she asked her. Alina cast a sidewards glance at Genya. “I-kind of?” she said and Genya smacked her arm lightly. “Yes i agreed, i agreed, i think it’s a great idea.” she corrected herself, unsure

Before Zoya could make any more remarks, Genya was writing her and Alina’s name name on the paper, along with her own. “Now” she said “All done!”

“Nice try Genya, Nikolai will-” As if the use of his name summoned him, Nikolai was suddenly standing beside her. 

“Go on.” he said looking down at her. “I was just telling Genya how you could change the sign up sheet because i don’t want my name on it, for me” she said, batting her eyelashes mockingly and smiling.

Nikolai sighed. “Zoya, darling, unfortunately other people have signed their name so i cannot, forgive me” Her smile dropped.

“That’s why i’m here actually!” he said “I wanted to see who had signed up.” He looked at the sheet and scanned the list, bottom to top, dragging is finger along each of the names. He stopped at one name in particular. “Kaz…..Brekker” he whispered, “Who’d of thought?” 

“Who?” Alina asked.

“He’s a Sophomore” Genya answered. “The tall scary one, with the gloves”

“Oh him.” Alina said realization obvious in her voice “He’s auditioning?”

“Apparently so,” said Nikolai, eyes trained on the list, “All his friends too, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Nina Zen-”

“Who is…Wylan Van Eck?” Zoya interrupted, looking more closely at the list.

“He’s a Sophomore too” Alina said “I saw him in Principal Baghra’s office yesterday morning, I think he’s new.”

“Anyways, i’m signing myself and Dominik up as well” Nikolai beamed “We have no specific roles we’re looking for though, maybe just the ensemble.”

“You can sing?” Zoya half laughed. 

Nikolai blushed slightly. “Well I…can hold a tune, yes.” he said shaking his head. “Can you?”

“No, not at all”

“Then why even audition?”

“Genya put my name down, i shouldn’t have to repeat myself, Lantsov”

“Apologies, my love” he winked, “I best be off,” he continued when he noticed Dominik come through the doors at the other end of the hall, “Have a good day girls, see you all at lunch” he turned, beginning a light jog towards the front doors of the school. 

Zoya watched him until he reached Dominik, then turned back to her friends. 

Both Alina and Genya were beaming at her.

“What?” she snapped.

“My love?” Genya said her voice an octave higher than usual.

“Darling?” Alina added.

Zoya sighed.

“Friendly banter” she said “It’s just his personality, it means nothing.”

Genya folded her arms. “Nothing?”

“Well, not to me anyways.” Liar

She honestly couldn’t tell if it did mean something to her. She was never very good at differentiating between romantic and platonic feelings. Then there was the case of, whether she only thought she liked Nikolai in that way because the rest of her friends had someone. All of them. Maybe she just didn’t want to be left out.

“Zoya?” 

“Yes, anyway.” she shook her head “We should get going, we’re blocking the hall”

The three began walking towards their classroom.

-

After school that day, Zoya opened her phone to see a text from Nikolai.

“I’m on my way over”

“Great, see you in a second.” she replied.

“<3”

Zoya smiled at the text. She had no idea why he was coming over, then again he never really had a good reason.

About 15 minutes later, she heard a loud knock at the front door. She practically ran to get to it almost slipping on the 3rd last step of the stairs. It would be rude to keep him waiting.

“Hi” Zoya said, a little out of breath from her commute down stairs “Come in.” She turned and walked away, Nikolai following her. “Hello,” he said “Where’s Lada?” Zoya smiled. 

“I’m starting to think you only come over to see my cousin and not me.”

“That’s only half true.”

Nikolai followed her up the stairs and into her room. He sat on the floor, opening his school bag and talking out a heavy textbook. He threw it down with a loud thud and opened the cover. 

“Did you buy this?” he asked her “I told my parents i didn’t think i’d need it, because we never need textbooks, but then Vasily said that i was lying when i wasn’t and-”

“I didn’t buy it, no” she cut him off “you’re right though we never use our books” 

“I know!”

“Are you looking forward to the auditions for the musical?” Zoya changed the subject.

“I….don’t know?” Nikolai replied “I’m very..i don’t have a word for it but it’s like” he ran a hand through his hair, thinking, “I get like, i don’t know….butterflies or something, when i think about them.” He made eye contact with Zoya. “I don’t  have stage fright or anything” he defended , “i’m well able to preform and i know it, just the thought of messing it up…”

Zoya slid from her seat on the bed and sat across from him on the floor. She reached over and put her hand over his. He didn’t pull away, just looked down at their hands on top of each other. 

“You’ll be great, I know you will.” he looked up, meeting Zoya’s eyes once again, his expression visibly happier. She half smiled at him. A genuine smile. She ignored the warm feeling in her gut. It was probably nothing.

-

Friday came and Zoya was not looking forward to singing and acting in front of David Kostyk and her fellow peers. 

Of course, most of them were her friends and the rest she had spoken to at least once so she wasn’t nervous as such.

Just, dreading it. 

She stood in the auditorium, occasionally muttering ‘good lucks’ to people who passed, until she heard David called her name. 

She took a breath and walked onto the stage. 

She spotted Nikolai, sitting front row, behind David’s desk. He gave her a thumbs up and a reassuring smile.

She smiled back, as her audition began.