Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sigh. That's the 275th time this week. Maybe more, who knows really? His depressive, as much as he hates to call it, state has not been improving ever since Tubbo and Ranboo went to the great land of America. He was being sarcastic if you can't tell.

Although, he is still grateful to have his older brother, ehem, Wilbur Soot or even Jack Manifold with him. Still. It still feels unusual.

He almost accidentally slipped his calmness or basically his hidden sadness on vlogs or streams. He became more antsy than usual. Jeez, he just wants to be fucking normal like before. Why does the world hate him so much?

Well at least there's Aimsey at least who's been rather supportive and a well-listener whenever he rants anything in particular. How he complained how his teachers are annoying him and shared random facts to the point Aimsey became concerned.

He used to do this to Tubbo when he was still sixteen and even the beginning when he turned seventeen.

Aimsey knows the teen is not telling everything and just continually puts up the act and says he's fine. He's not.

Halloween passed rather quickly for the blonde. It's neither fun nor exciting for him. He won't admit it. The others seem to not notice his act.

How his fake smile fades when they are looking away. How his bright blue eyes were empty when they were all recording or just simply hanging out. How a broken laugh was replaced by an ugly cry when he gets home. Damn you Tubbo and Ranboo.

What he doesn't know, someone is watching him every move. Obviously not in a creepy manner. That will be stalker-ish as hell. Don't forget the vocabulary 'scary' too. But, someone among them noticed how the blonde acted differently whenever they weren't watching. Whenever the camera is off. Not just someone. They're two persons in fact. The blonde is still oblivious though.

Back to the current time, Tommy whined helplessly. He was just done talking with the rest of the so-called bench trio. He was also done crying for an hour. He was also finished with all of his classworks. What else to do?

Glancing at the time in front of him that was displayed on a big, bright screen that can actually hurt his eyes if you stare much longer, it showed '5:30 pm'. Huh? It was still early after working with that goddamn shit?

Leaning back on his office chair, he blankly stared at the ceiling. At times like this, he used to call Tubbo with Ranboo beside him or what not. But, ever since they left him. Did they leave him? Nope, he thought. He's just being over dramatic. Ever since they went to America, the moon's light seems to darken and the sun's heat seems to be cold. They weren't that active any more, albeit still being friends. Due to... He doesn't know, due to the different time? Maybe.

The house is currently empty. Not literally, alright. But, empty. His parents will be back on Monday, Saturday right now because of their short business trip. He's glad though. He wants to reflect things, surprisingly by himself. Silence is nice for a change. Darkness is comforting. His friends or viewers may call him weird but he doesn't really give a fuck.

Standing up, walking towards the door and going outside from his house. He grabbed his ukulele, pocket money, phone and keys then left. Remember the ukulele? The one where Aimsey found out he's not okay? Yeah, that one. It's a memorable moment though. Although, still hating the fact that the petite young woman found out his secret and his second comfort outlet. Nonetheless, at least he can freely babble things with her unlike his other friends. In fact, he even chatted with Aimsey's girlfriend once together with Aimsey's herself. Okay, maybe not once but you get the point.

Although, before locking the house, he didn't forget to bring his skateboard.  A skateboard with colorful stickers that both Ranboo and Tubbo put on when the blonde stayed his weekend in the Smith's humble abode. He didn't mind it that much. It turns out great even. Shocking, I know. Tommyinnit smiled fondly, looking back at the memory but shaking it off when a gust of wind blew right in his face.

Finally locking the door with his keys, he went through with his own business. Running to the roadside, he rolled his skateboard he's holding with his left hand and on cue, both his feet began to dive in on the skateboard. He doesn't particularly know where he's going. But doesn't matter, all he needs right now is a can of energy drink or soda or something that can freshen him up.

Now if you're asking, when did Tommy learn how to at least, decently ride a skateboard? His answer would be just a couple months ago. Ever since he saw a video in the application called 'TikTok', he has been involved with different hobbies and one of them is riding a skateboard. It's not that much of a deal. It's just balancing, but without any handle to gripped on. Just like a bike! Okay, in all honesty, he's also pretty decent on a bike. Not really. But he just needs to practice to control how to stop. Unlike the skateboard, you can easily stop it with just your foot. He's aware he can fall off anytime though so he needs to be careful. Unlike his 2020 self.

Finally seeing a vending machine, he narrowed both his eyes, focusing on that direction, he crouched a bit. With letting go of his right foot, he glided the skateboard. Coming to a stop, he placed his ukulele on the bench right beside the machine and grabbed a dollar from his pocket and inserted it onto the machine. A white ultra monster caught his eye. He tried the drink once but never liked it since it was too strong for his liking. But for this matter, he really needs a drink that can fully wake him up so he just chose that rather than the can of coke. Bending down, getting the drink, looking back, it started raining. Fucking great. Right on his luck.

You know what? Fuck it. He grabbed his ukulele and his skateboard then went back on the road. Heavy raindrops pouring down right at him. Tommy didn't mind it though. It's been awhile since he took a bath straight out of the rain. So he took the chance. His phone was secured in his left pocket, his money on his right, left hand gripping tightly on his ukulele and the energy drink in his right, it was good. Sort of peaceful in fact.

He honestly doesn't know where he is going. He's not worried or nervous to get lost though, he basically knows this place like it's his own mind. After a couple minutes, five in fact, he is currently in a forest. Something. Just a bunch of trees that surround the area, a muddy pathway that is good enough to place dirt on his skateboard. So he decided to just walk. What is this place? This is new. He will surely write this down so that he can visit in the future again. Only if he survived. This is a perfect time whereas the serial killer just comes out and stabs him in the back. It didn't happen though so he's good. Yet.

Walking and walking, gazing around the area, he went left right into the trees. And there, he saw the most beautiful place  he had ever seen. He's not exaggerating, really. There, a wide lake that is currently a bit foggy since it's still raining. But if it's morning with a bright sunny day, the water will definitely be clear blue where you can see your reflection on it. Obviously, trees surround the area. Mostly pine trees though.

Snapping his thoughts, now back on the real world, he found a fairly large oak tree that can be a roof for the blonde's head to momentarily keep out from the rain. Skipping towards the spot and sitting down, he inhaled and exhaled heavily. Definitely trying to catch his breath.

His clothes have now been soaking wet as well as his hair which is not that fluffy anymore. He's wearing an oversized black hoodie with a dragon font scribble text on the middle, black tattered pants and grey pair of shoes which is now muddy. Yuck. The hood of his hoodie is covering his strawberry blonde hair and half of his pair of blue eyes. Don't mention, he wore his black surgical mask that's covering half his nose and his mouth, or lips. Humming, he checked his phone who's almost on low battery but still good enough to record. As stated, he opened his camera application and placed it at the right angle where he can't be seen that clearly.

He didn't press the button just yet. He was strumming randomly the strings from his ukulele though. He didn't want to sing jubilee line just yet. He loves that song honestly. He doesn't want to admit it to Wilbur though. He'll know something is up. He doesn't want that. No. Please no. He will just dubbed that he's an attention seeker. Right?

The rain hasn't stopped. Seems like the clouds are feeling down as well. Coincidence? Nevertheless, he loves the rain. Albeit having a hate and live relationship with the weather, it just seems so peaceful you know?

Snapping once again on his thoughts, he accidentally pressed the record button. Yet he didn't stop it. He just let it continue. He has to edit that out, for sure. Then finally... He strummed.

Two

Birds

On A Wire..

Tubbo_ and Tommyinnit on a bench.

One

Tries

To

Fly—

—Away

And The Other...

His voice is dull and lighter, somewhat. More lighter than any of his covers. He sang carefully, trying his best not to crack his voice nor went out on the rhythm or the song line. He can't really explain it.

... Watches

Him

Close

From That, Wire

He Says He Wants To As Well

'Don't worry boss man, you'll be with us soon, right?'

'Of course Tubster. Besides, you'll come back soon anyways. I also want to stay here for a bit since it's just my hometown you know? I'm not that ready yet'

But, He Is A Liar.

He wants to go with them, really. He wants to escape reality for a while. He wants to be selfish. But he can't. Although, he's telling the truth when he doesn't want to leave Wilbur. His brother. All but blood.

I'll Believe

It All..

His voice is softer than any of his other covers. Different from his voice on streams or podcasts. His voice range is higher though.

There's Nothing

I Won't

Understand

Being a teenager sometimes sucks. The world is too confusing to understand. Their parents are difficult to let them understand. But some are just too confident to speak up but are confused to understand. Tommy doesn't really know what he's thinking right now.

I'll Believe It,

All...

I Won't Let Go

Of Your Hand

Fuck. He's touch-starved. Is that the name of what he's feeling right now?

Two Birds On A Wire

One, Says "C'mon"

"Tommy" Tubbo whine, again. "I miss you already and it's already been one day! Are you sure you're okay out there? I bet you're already missing me once I got in the plane"

And The Other Says

"I'm Tired"

"I'm fine Tubs" heh. "Just a bit tired, that's all" Bit, he says. "I DON'T FUCKING MISS YOU OKAY?—" I fucking miss you both so much, it hurts.

The Sky,

Is Overcast

And I'm Sorry

Instead of singing it in a happy tone just like the original singer, the teen sang it on a calmer, lighter yet slow rhythm which he felt was right. The rain is starting to slow, unfortunately for him. The weather is getting colder causing the blonde to shiver. Wind is blowing that causes the leaves and trees to ruffle, making an audible sound in the recording. The lake is frantically waving or swaying in the other direction in front of him.

One More

Or One Less,

He remembered that George is moving soon with the rest of the Dream Team causing him to be alone once more. Tommy knew inside his heart that Wilbur would soon go with them as well. He blames himself for holding him back. One question pops in his mind,

Nobody's Worried

Do they even miss him?

I'll Believe, It All ~

There's, Nothing

I Won't, Understand

Who is he kidding, of course not! He's just a random kid wanting to feel love! Who wants friends! Who just picks him from a trash out of pity and will later on throw him out again. His parents are enough for him, right?... Right? Well, at least Eryn and Freddie are there for him. They'll soon part ways anyways so it doesn't really matter.

I'll Believe

It All...

I Won't Let Go Of Your Hand

A big pause came through causing him to stop. The used to be calm strumming turned rough and louder. Both hands began to shake. His smile behind his mask turned into a frown. His eyes shut tighter and tighter while a tear ran down his face. One tear into two, two to three, three to many. His fine breathing turned rig, a sob escaped. His whole feelings are put into a song. Anger and sadness. It's exaggerated when he'll tell it to his friends, but it's true. He loathes it. One strum, it's back to normal. Like nothing happened. It's fucking weird if you ask him how he can change his emotion only with a snap. Like fucking Thanos. The hell. But, he can surely say those acting lessons he took were worth it. Hah.

Two

Birds

Of

A

Feather

Say!

That They're Always,

Gonna Stay Together

"What's wrong Tubbo, you acted weird earlier. Even the fans can see it" A 16 year old Tommy worryingly asked his friend in front of his screen. "I'm over thinking dude, what if we're going to seperate in the future? I can't live with that '' Tubbo buried his face into both his hands on the top of his desk. "What the fuck Tubbo? Us? Separating? I'll make sure to kill myself before doing that! We'll never ever separate Tubs, I promise." "I promise too boss man. I won't ever replace you and you have to do the same as well" "Deal"

Then, what the hell happened?

But One's

Never Going

To Let Go

Of That Wire

'Tommyinnit'

He Says That He Will

"I promise too boss man. I won't ever replace you and you have to do the same as well"

But, He's Just A Liar

"Ranboo! My best friend! You're my number one best friend! You should feel proud bitch!"

Two Birds On A Wire

That feeling struck to him again. It's extremely worse this time. His voice turned raspy and darker than any of his covers, same with his lighter voice he used with much earlier. Coincidentally, the recently calm rain turned into an actual storm. Not quite literal since that would be dangerous but strong enough to cause lighting and thunder. Is it a good or bad thing that he's under a freaking tree right now?

One Tries To Fly, Away

And The Other

Watches Him Close

In That Wire

He Says He Wants To As Well

But

He

Is

A

Liar.

He hummed, clearly to let the possible future audiences hear it. The song was about to end and he's thankful for it considering the fact that his phone is 25℅. Not only that but he's a little drowsy and wants to take a nap before dinner. Or eat dinner then sleep. That sounds lovely right now. The strumming went on for about 8 to 15 seconds then stopped strumming.

Two

Birds

On A Wire. .

. . .

One

Tries To Fly

Away

And

The Oth—

—er...

It's always been the Clingy Duo in the start. Who knew it'll fall with the Beeduo? Hopefully, it'll be Bench Trio in the end. If the youngest will survive that is.

5 comments: 

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Stream Web Series Please. : I love this version dehehieehwh, I can smell the future audios with this. 

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45 messages from Freddie:) 

48 messages from Eryn:<

27 missed calls from Freddie:) 

25 missed calls from Eryn:<

Chapter Text

Freddie and Eryn left. He's all alone, again. Well not particularly. Eryn is somewhere in the UK but it's still far from where the blonde lives. But you get the point. Both insist to stay in Nottingham and leave once their youngest best friend is alright. Alright meaning he's at least starting to act normal again. Although, the youngest refused. He never wanted pity, why start now? He is grateful, yes, to his two childhood best friends that are now young adults. Time flies so fast he wishes he could stop it even if it's once. But of course, that was impossible. People age. He doesn't know what he's babbling about really.

Aside from that, he's pseudo brother also left. Ranboo left. Tubbo left. George is about to as well but his visa is fucking the plan up. Aimsey left. Billzo left. Even though the last two whom he just met days back aren't close towards him as they are to Ranboo, the younger still miss them. Even when they locked him up outside Tubbo's abode, he still missed them. Now looking back, followers and fans called the six; Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Ranboo, Billzo, Aimsey and Badlinu the Cricket Crew. Cricket Squad the first then Cricket Crew the second.

Looking from their post and videos they all made in America, Tommy never felt so excluded in his whole entire life. He even managed to trick himself into thinking he's not part of the famous Cricket Crew.

He's just so tired of everything, currently and recently. School, streaming, vlogging, cleaning, talking, walking, etcetera, etcetera. He's tired of life yet he doesn't want to end it.

He's not suicidal. Okay? He wants to live, thank you very much. He has great parents, great friends, great grades, great popularity, rich? He got everything to settle in yet it felt empty at the same time. He's also not depressed! Yes, he may be sad most of the time, crying himself to sleep, unmotivated, tired even if he's not sleepy and quite energetic, feeling something is empty and missing— he's fine alright? He doesn't need help. He doesn't want pity.

I want my friends back. Please help me. I'm tired. I don't know what to do. I wanna drop out but I don't want to disappoint my parents. Please...

He's currently in his office with his lights off, curtains open, revealing the natural morning light and his laptop is sitting beside him. Pair of airpods on both his ears also wearing a gray long sleeve shirt with yellow lines draped across the fabric, a pair of simple faded jeans and white socks that ends on his ankle. He doesn't feel like wearing a pair of shoes or home slippers considering, this is his own office, he can do anything he wants right?

The truth is, he doesn't feel like wearing any shoes on. It makes him uncomfortable.

He's waiting for a call from Eryn. He make sure he woke up early just for this. A wall clock sits in front of him, hanging on the blue painted wall faced in front of him and it reads, '6:25'. The outside world didn't agree. The bright morning shine already felt like it's 9:00 or even 10:00 in the morning but, the youngster knew that it's not even close. During these recent times, Eryn and Tommy has been usually and normally in a call together almost every day. Both became a lot closer than what they usually are. Freddie occasionally join, frequently when he first arrived in America then became more absent in calls. It's understandable, really. Time Zones sucks. Besides, he apologized. At least he apologized.

The Cricket Crew sometimes call him, checking what's up. He cried at one point where he confessed he missed them and almost had an emotional breakdown. He was about to sleep at that time and his eyes were dropping shut minute by minute, his headspace controlling his mind. They acted things are normal the next day. Tommyinnit didn't remember anything the next day. Nothing happened that day, they assured.

Freddie couldn't sleep that day. Instead, he spent the whole night watching movies with Tommy until the blonde fell asleep. It was by dawn where the brunette finally shut his eyes.

Wilbur was ignoring him, weird. However, a part of the youngest brother's mind is saying he's just exaggerating, overreacting and over thinking about it. He's convinced it's his fault.

Is Wilbur mad? What did I do? Am I still his baby brother? What am I going to do? I can't lose him

"Hey Tommy!" A thick lighthearted voice entered the call. It was Eryn

"Hey Eryn" He casually said, trying to keep his voice uptight and cheery. That's the only thing he can do after Eryn helps him. "What's up?"

"Nothing much" Eryn shrugged, "Hey, let's hang out tomorrow? I have nothing to do and my parents agreed to let me go"

"Sure" Somehow, no matter how lonely he's feeling, he wants to refuse and just lie in bed the whole day. Waiting for his mother to drag him out of bed.

Time passes by rather quickly. He wants to stop it. He wants to stay here talking with Eryn forever. Well— not forever but a while until he wants to wake up and pretend it's just a dream. Nonetheless, they have been talking about random topics. Schedule, gossip, friends, school? and social media. At one point, his parent's called him to inform the younger they're going somewhere important which he replied with a loud, boisterous voice that made Eryn chuckled.

Maybe he is okay?

Currently, Tommy left his laptop on the floor while he grabbed something in his bedroom. Eryn waited patiently, switching tabs on the other side of the screen. Switching tabs in order to write a direct message to the other brunette living his life in America.

Look, Tommy doesn't want help. Tommy doesn't want pity. Tommy doesn't want their concern. He can't let the others know what's going on. Why can't Eryn listen to what he said? God, those idiots.

When he came back, Eryn stopped and focused on his current tab. A tab where they are having their call on. He observed the younger as he took his phone out, left it on the floor just beside the laptop with it vertically leaning on the wall, showing the wall, his black and white wall clock and his side desk with electronics that Tommy stared at earlier while waiting for his brunette friend. He observed how the younger sat down on his office chair, facing sideward and holding a guitar with the instrument's bottom sitting on Tommy's lap, ready to be strummed. The brunette raised his brow.

Is he going to sing?

He just realized how he's wearing a simple white with a figurine of an animal, turtle, he noted, a bucket hat that covered half his face and his blonde fluffy hair. Since his hair is quite long, a couple of strands are also in the way, making it difficult to see the blonde's actual face. He also wore a blue surgical mask, as if he's hiding his whole identity. It suits him together with what he's wearing. Why did he never show these outfits outside of social media? Eryn was surprised, the blonde normally wears his favorite teal sweatshirt or a blue bulky jacket or whatever you see him wearing on stream or vlogs. Yet at the same time, he respects the fact the blonde is wearing decent clothes privately. But, technically, he's also been wearing it in front of public viewers. Eryn had binge-watched his friend's anonymous account. Even though the videos are few and countable, he usually replayed it while editing. Listening to his friend's voice with a different range each video or song is satisfying.

"Can I record a song, Ryn?" Tommy didn't look at him. Although, his head looked down and distractedly tuned his guitar. It's been a month since he used it, focusing on his dear ukulele

"Uh— sure! I'm going to mute if you want" Eryn suggested and agreed to the terms. Besides, it won't hurt to hear his best friend sing live, right? Without waiting for a reply which Tommy did indeed not return, he muted his mic. The individual who's tuning a guitar didn't see Eryn recording this whole thing.

Eryn won't betray his friend, though. He was trusted enough to let him see a live performance. He is his best friend. He will never betray him. He will stick right to his side through thick or thin. Every— okay, we get it Eryn.

He got lost in thought when Tommy put his left hand on the strings while his right on the strings on top of the sound hole. He started strumming. A beautiful pattern that can make you sleep.

The background was painstakingly beautiful. The room has two lights, the other near the door is on while the other near the back wall is dimmed. The window in the back wall with the wall clock on top right was already open, it's light shining the dim light making it extra difficult to identify some other parts of the room and of course, the blonde's face. However, his outfit is currently the center of attention. An outfit that is targeted by the light. It was beautiful.

You haven't been good . . .

Oh, it's starting. Eryn smiled.

For long . . .

God, his voice is majestic. It was different from the one he used on theater roles, plays and on singing activities the school they were at back then, announced. Even on streams where he sings as a joke yet it still has the correct rhythm and tone. It's fairly obvious that he's trying to make his voice raspy and seem ugly. This one was lighter. It sounds as if it was his voice before puberty hits him. But it still has maturity in it. He doesn't make any sense, really.

Is it the sound,

Of your own thoughts?

Tired by Beabadoobee. Eryn recognized the lyrics and instantly searched it on Google. Wanting to figure out the lyrics behind it. Tired by Beabadoobee. Tired. Is his friend tired? Of everything? 

That always keep

You

Up

At

Night?

Tommy's voice was slow, taking his sweet time while the notes he was strumming and trying to maintain are the same. Eryn read the lyrics that's on the screen. What thoughts?

Maybe it's time to

Say

Goodbye.

Goodbye? On the other side of the screen, Eryn's eyes widen. In cue, his phone slipped down which he instantly returned on it's vertical position to record Tommy's screen. He felt his heart beat faster, he is feeling uneasy. Why, though? Why is Tommyinnit singing this? Is he exaggerating and over thinking the lyrics the blonde sang?

Cause I'm,

Getting pretty

Fucking

Tired

Oh.

A couple seconds, he remained strumming with no syllable or words or phrases, even. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Eryn who's contemplating if he's over thinking it and Tommy, who's just tired and wants to sleep. If he's completely honest, he's thinking about memories in his life the past year. The first time he met Wilbur, the time he raided Tubbo, the time where he won the Minecraft Championship with the SBI, the Halloween meetup stream, everything.

Oh

Oh

Oh . . .

The same repetitive pattern of guitar notes filled the silence. Eryn bit his lower lip, realizing he's about to cry. The slower and sad tune didn't help at all.

Oh

Oh

Oh . . .

Tommy keep his breathe before releasing a mutter

Oh, oh

Eryn turned off his camera, deciding to turn it back on later once the younger is finished. He waited for Tommy to continue on the other line, and didn't continue reading the lyrics as if he didn't want to spoil on his behalf. In truth, he doesn't want to read the lyrics anymore. It's too dark and sad for his own music taste.

Oh

Oh

Oh . . .

The light, airy and cold sort of voice filled the room once again. 

Tommy stopped strumming, his hand turning into a fist then loosened with a blink of an eye. Tommy turned to stare at the back wall or to the white window below the wall clock. Eryn noticed it through that action, urging the feeling to hug his best friend. He doesn't understand and also didn't have the knowledge on what the singer in front of him on the other side of the screen has been thinking but the brunette knows it's not good at the moment.

He looked down to where he met the sight of his guitar, then opened his mouth.

You haven't felt right

You haven't felt right about?

For days

Tommy continues the strumming rhythm pattern. Eryn blinked

Is it the fact,

The fact?

You never

Say

Eryn scrunched his nose, closing his eyes.

What comes in

Your

Mind

That

Day?

Eryn relates this part of the song to Tommy or basically everybody else he knew of. Even himself, he admitted internally. Pretending you're fine to your loved ones or hell, even to strangers but deep inside it's all fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. Shut up.

Well, it's understandable that individuals won't share their thoughts with others. Some things are better kept hidden. But if one is sad, especially his close friends, he just— sometimes wishes they will share it with him and maybe talk it out? He's honestly being selfish. Eryn was frustrated. Even though he's watching a live performance from his very own best friend, this seems like an enigma. His own best friend is an enigma.

Maybe

It's time to

Shut Away,

Here we go. Eryn frowned. He remembered the time where Tommy locked himself in his own room and was absent at school for a week. Professors and classmates were curious about his condition. While Eryn and Freddie were concerned. When Tommy came back though, he didn't utter a single thing with the exception of his teachers calling him for the answer. It was barely a whisper when he talked. The reason behind it is because his father will leave for an important trip to his own parents, leaving the mother and son behind. It's just a short time though, some important matters to attend to. Eryn watched how the kid cried in his best friend's arms.

Tommy trusted both Eryn and Freddie that much more than the SBI, Tubbo and even his parents.

But for now, Tommy trusted Eryn the most.

But Tommy's okay now, right?

Cause I've,

Never

Really

Felt okay

Eryn's breath hitched. Maybe not

His lower lip is trembling without his knowledge.

Ah

Ah

Ah . . .

Wind came inside Tommy's office from the open window. A part of his hair and strands dancing through the sudden wind. Tommy's phone camera he used to record was suddenly out of focus.

Ah

Ah

Ah —

Tommy whispered that was barely audible. You have to set your electronic's volume high enough to hear

ah, ah

Tommy leaned back into his gaming chair, his guitar resting on both his lap and his stomach. Eryn saw a calm and free Tommyinnit in front of him.Tommy saw a struggling and lonely Tommyinnit in himself.

Ah

Ah

Ah,

His voice faded as he exaggerated the lyric word. His gaming chair turned, his body now completely faced the back wall and the window. Making him barely out of sight, replacing him was the face of his back part of the gaming chair.

Cause

I've been . . .

Eating,

Less

All day

What? Eryn jerked forward. He really wants to help but he is very much confused. Is the song related as to what Tommy is currently or recently thinking? Or is it just a music vibe that Tommy coincidentally added to his playlist?

To Give

Give what? Eryn ignored the ping on his phone as the gadget continued recording. He also ignored the lyrics that were displayed for him at his other tab, focusing on Tommy's angelic voice and the chill but devastating song.

My brain

Some

Extra

Space

To think

'Bout all

The

Things

To do

To Help

Oh Tommy

Distract me,

From

The

Rude

Of

Heart

Tommy kept on singing while Eryn tried to console himself. Eryn isn't exactly that type of an emotional person. It's actually the opposite. Even though he isn't an emotional type, he is emotionally constipated. Hiding all his grief, remorse and fear all in one setting which is the inside.

He doesn't really understand the last bit. But the rest? He can definitely relate all towards Tommy or a part of himself as well. As the tune kept on playing, Eryn was struggling into hinting this to Freddie or just simply not. He knows how Tommy will react if he will and he absolutely knows how privately enclosed Tommy is with himself. Freddie was their best friend yet he is somewhat missing in this. Freddie was the missing puzzle or the extra puzzle that cannot fit into the picture. Don't get him wrong, he loves both of his best friends. But with Freddie not with them personally, Eryn thinks it's wrong to tell him about all this. Yet. He knew Tommy will tell his friends eventually or their friends will accidentally trip down and stumble inside Tommy's new channel. Just like Freddie and Eryn did back then. He still remembered how frightened Tommy was when both he and the other brunette called him a hundred times and when he answered it, he was met with a lot of questions. Eryn still regretted it. Asking so many questions at once seems to frighten and overwhelm people.

Eryn knows a lot of things that lead to times that he wished he didn't know any of it.

Tommy's recording phone slipped, laying on the floor instead of leaning on the wall. Eryn didn't realize that Tommy came forward, picked up his phone and completely stopped recording.

"Eryn?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Oh. You're still there big man?"

"Mhm! My best friend is really good at singing, do you know that?"

"Shut up you moron"

4 Comments :

Anony908_ : THE ROYALTY UPLOADED!

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Chapter Text

The rest are in their rooms they're currently staying at for the time being. Sleeping, scrolling through Twitter, planning or whatever you usually do when you're finally relaxing from all the different events that you went through in just a day. 

Meanwhile, Freddie was sitting outside in the backyard, admiring the familiar cold night and a clan of fireflies floating in the air. It's been exactly a week since he left his hometown. It's been exactly a week since he left his best friends. Not going to lie, he loves this place, the hot weather and beaches and different food that you've never seen in his hometown but he feels out of place most of the time, even when he has his American friends with him during adventures. That is the reason why he didn't resign himself to his bedroom, staying instead here in the dark and gloomy night. Well, it's not literally dark seeing as there are lanterns lit up and said fireflies buzzing with their own natural light. 

Even though he left, he still keeps in touch with both Eryn and Tommy. Not all the time but based on the current time. Time Zones and all that jazz. He keeps checking on Tommy, acting like an older brother to him and chatting with Eryn like the best friend he is. He still considered Eryn as a brother though, don't get him wrong. 

He is still aware of Tommy's condition. 

He suddenly remembered that call. That call where both Freddie and Eryn came rushing in, in Tommy's own house after they both found his channel together. He remembered the blonde's confession. He remembered how emotionless Tommy had been. Probably because he already let out all his emotions back while singing. He often does that in all honesty. Freddie remembered that one time where Tommy shouted out all his lungs and sang a song the blonde instantly made up on the spot. 

Freddie remembered a lot of things. 

A notification ping interrupted his thoughts. He plucked out his phone from his pocket and opened it, meeting a YouTube notification on his lock screen. 

Icarus uploaded a new video: Tired — Beabadoobee » covered by : Icarus | :p

Icarus uploaded a new video: Alien Blues — Vundabar » covered by : Icarus | :p

A new upload? Freddie quickly opened the notification, directing him to the actual video. He decided to check the channel's profile before clicking the video. He smiled happily and proudly when the number of subscribers popped up. 

400 subscribers

It's a big milestone but Freddie doubted if Tommy cared about it. Keep in mind, this channel is his freedom to show his emotions on. But still, it's an achievement. The brunette noticed the profile picture change. Both his eyes narrowed to clearly see the small circular image. 

It showed a black silhouette standing with their head up high, facing the gray and stormy clouds and their arms spread wide, welcoming the incoming rain. 

The brunette knew the silhouette was Tommyinnit, though. Eryn mentioned in his text that he and the blonde are hanging out and a bit of taking pictures for the blonde. The brunette across the other side of the planet put it up altogether where Eryn took this profile picture for Tommy's channel. Freddie's smile tightened. He really missed those two so much. 

Freddie scrolled down, meeting the channel's videos. He decided to click the newest one which was uploaded four hours ago of the two. He let out a small curious sound, unfamiliar with both songs that had been sung in the new uploads. 

He was met with a person whose head is not shown yet the rest of the parts are instead visible to the camera. A teal electric guitar was in front of the person's abdomen and was sitting on his lap while the individual was also sitting on the end of the bed that is laying vertically. He was wearing a simple white shirt, it's sleeves ends on the shoulder with writings printed on the middle and been plucked under a pair of beige sweatpants with black and white grid lines and red lines printed that serve as a design, long white socks accompanied with black and white shoes and a chain silver necklace and a lock as pendant for the only accessory. 

Freddie leaned back on the wall and started to focus on the video. He blinked. Tommy can play an electric guitar? But if you think about it, he can play a normal guitar so obviously he's familiar with an electric one. Freddie rolled his eyes playfully directed at himself. 

The person started with strong strumming, viewers can clearly point out the difference of a normal guitar to an electric one. It lasted for ten seconds, the brunette watching noted. 

Was it the best you ever had? 

Was it the worst? you never know

Freddie was taken back by the raspiness of his best friend's voice. He's aware that the blonde has been practicing that for ages starting with them being in high school. What he's not aware of is that Tommy successfully played it, sang it and accomplished it. The word, 'proud' was an understatement. 

I'd try to tell you what I think 

And play it off like it's a joke

Freddie frowned. What does he mean by that? Is it the fact that he was the one who played it off like it's a joke or is someone who did it? Or both? He bit his lower lip in concentration. Or was it the fact that Freddie was the one who played it off like it's a joke when Tommy decided to share his feelings? Dread slowly consumed him. Fuck. 

Oh no, 

More surprises

Guess it's like this

The brunette's eyes wandered off in a different direction, not the screen. He has to talk to his best friend soon. Now he thinks about it, when did he talk to both Eryn and Tommy through discord for hours? And when the three are completed in a call? The last time was when Freddie was bored and stayed at his room instead of going out— fuck, that was a five days ago. . . 

I'd do anything for you

Mrs. Highness

Tommy usually take things in his own hands without asking for help. One thing that Freddie observed when they were still young. Tommy must be overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time when suddenly his friends leave and work that Dream assigned him to become less and less. He's not even there to ask if the blonde is okay! What kind of a best friend are you Badlinu? 

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Freddie's gaze stared at the screen once again, leaving a like before he forgot. He gulped. 

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Freddie wasn't aware of a two set of eyes coming forward in Freddie's way. 

An instrumental is playing. Tommy's left hand is playing different notes each second that Freddie even can't keep up. It's a good road trip music to play but even though the lyrics are a bit depressing and confusing, the tune was an upbeat music that kids can identify as a "happy tone". Freddie should really stop babbling random things in his head. 

The sun is fun 

The land is dandy 

I only talk to dogs

Cause ' they don't understand me

Freddie noticed the lyrics once again. Tommy's usual alibi when he is lonely was talking to his dogs random things and nonsense topics. Is this connected to the lyrics he just sang? Freddie remembered another thing. What did Tommy say about venting? Freddie's eyes slightly widened. 

My teeth are yellow

Hello, 

World

Freddie cracked up a smile

Would you like me a little better if they were white like yours? 

Freddie's smile turned upside down. He really needed to talk to Tommy urgently. 

I need to purge my urges

Shame, shame, shame

What urges? Speaking of urges, Tommy mentioned having an urge to cut. Probably cut his hair, he normally cut his hair when he's emotional. Or something.. 

I need an alibi to justify, 

Somebody to blame

Blaming himself. Freddie was an average student back then. Have average grades, average school record, average presentation and etcetera. And he can definitely point out what's wrong and whatnot that easily when it comes to close friends and family. The point? He can point out that Tommy needs help and support. He can point out that Tommy is blaming himself for his own reasons. 

It's a halibut

"Party bitch"

Give it a name 

And say, 

"Hey,"

"Hey"

"Hey"

Freddie's head jerked up, looking anywhere where he heard the noise. His eyes met with a pair of hazelnut eyes. 

"What's up?"

This is not the right time. 

"Can't sleep, you?"

"Same"

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

"What are you doing?" Aimsey curiously asked

"Watching and listening to covers" Freddie nervously smiled

"Hm?"

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Aimsey leaned forward to gave her eyes better access into what Freddie was watching. She smiled. "You found Tommy's account ey?"

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Freddie eyes began to widen, twice now, in horror and shock. "W-what are you t-talking about?"

"Don't worry, you can trust me" Aimsey sadly smiled, "I was the first one who knew about it. Tommy also knew that I found out. I didn't tell anyone, though. Remember during our meet up stream when I went outside to call Tommy?" Seeing Freddie nod, Aimsey continued, "I accidentally watched a live performance of him singing Juliet by cavetown"

Freddie looked down, not meet the girl's intense gaze. "Do you think- do you think he's okay?"

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

"Do you?"

Freddie shakes his head slowly but surely. He heard the girl beside him sighed heavily. 

What are they going to do? 

7 Comments:

miss_sue: oohhh this is different! I love it thoo!

averagestudent: THIS SEEMS TO BE A HAPPY SONG BUT WHY TAF IS IT STILL SAD??!? 

cream & cookies: I need more. 

_watuluv_ : THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONGGG IT'S ILLEGAL TO BE SO UNDERRATED 😭😭

dusktildawn: it's illegal to be so early

HoneyLemon: 1.) Guitar 2.) Ukulele 3.) Electric guitar 4.) I'm already expecting some drums soon 5.) You're criminally underrated 6.) You're criminally talented

calelunda: CONGRATS ON 400 SUBS!!! WAITING FOR A 500 SOON!! 

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