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Chapter Text

Espresso groaned as his experiment would not give the results he anticipated. "Another failed experiment.." the cookie muttered quietly to himself. For some weeks now or maybe even months nothing would work out for Espresso cookie. He had finished many experiments and was the founder of coffee magic so this should not bother him. But it did start nagging on him. He felt useless if there wasn´t the wanted result soon. Espresso got up and streched. "How bothersome..." he said to himself as he walked into his kitchen to make himself another cup of coffee. It was the only thing keeping him awake for days and the only thing that would keep him going. It was not that Espresso hated sleep but when everything was quiet his thoughts became louder so he decided rather quickly he would only rest when his experiment would be succesful. Walking back with a full cup he sat back down at his desk. Looking through papers searching for a possible mistake he could´ve done but till now he could never find one. Why was this not working out for him? He discarded the failed result in a bucket, tied his hair back, took a deep breath and a sip of coffee. "You got this Espresso, this should be easy." It had become a habit of talking to himself, afterall who else would talk with him. Not like he even wanted the company of a cookie while doing his experiments.

With new found confidence and yet another sip of coffee, which would already empty the cup, he started his experiment once again. Coffeebeans would get crushed and be immideatly filtered with hot water. The smell of coffee filled the room. Espresso filled the cup with the brewed coffee. Than he would add another mixture Herb and Clover had made him after requesting strong healing potions. This almost had nothing to do with magic but if he was successful to make the perfect mix he could analyse the potion and even try making a spell out of it so he would be able to support wounded cookies in the worst case scenario. He carefully added some of the mixture into the cup and stirred. His eyes drifted to a small dagger he had laying on the desk. "Only one way to find out if it works..." he spoke out loud as he pulled up his sleeve and grabbed the dagger. With a swift movement he set the dagger on his skin and cut himself. He didnt flinch anymore, for a while now he had to do this. Blood started to leak out of his wound and he let the dagger fall onto the desk. He lifted the cup with the potential healing coffee to his lips and took a shaky breath before drinking the whole cup. He had closed his eyes, not sure if he wanted to see the result. He was scared to have failed again. After some seconds a small smile appeared on his lips. Had he done it? Espresso was sure this was it until he felt the Blood slowly make it´s way down his arm, down his hand and fingers before dripping onto the floor.
Espresso still had his eyes closed and his smile started to falter as his lips begann to quiver and his breath would come out unsteady. Hot tears would start running down his cheeks and with all the frustration he had he slammed his fist onto his desk. "THIS HAD BEEN THE 53 TIME THIS HELL OF AN EXPERIMENT FAILED! I AM GOOD FOR FUCKING NOTHING!" he yelled as he tried holding back his tears and sobs.

Espresso was frustrated not sad but angry at himself how he was not able to get any positive results out of this experiment. The man sniffed and ran a shaky hand through his hair that still covered his other eye. Espresso felt so useless. ´This had to work. This just had to work´he thought to himself. Espresso reminded himself why he was working so hard to get this working. The last time he and other cookies went on an expedition a cakemonster had somehow managed to sneak behind the group as they fought of a group of cake hounds. The cakemonster had attacked the young Custard cookie who had come with them to practice his healing. The expedition was rather easy so everyone gave their consent to the young cooke. The cake monster landed a good hit on the little king which made him bleed and panic. The other cookies would continue to fight off the cakemonsters and Espresso tried calming down Custard the third. He was unable to cast any healing on himself and eventhough Espresso would never admit it the picture of such a young cookie just laying in his arms like that was haunting him even days after the incedent. He was unable to help. Espresso was no healer but he never ever wanted to be in such a situation ever again. So this is why he would work weeks without rest on this project. It had to work at some point.

He looked at his messy desk. As his frustration got the better of him just moments ago he knocked over some dirty cups and some other things he would keep on his deks. He sighed and decided to clean his desk first before continuing. He took the dirty cups and walked into the kitchen. He caught a glimpse of the clock that was hanging in his livingroom. 7:33 pm. Quite early for him to take a look at the clock. He had been awake for solid two and a half weeks now so he could care less. With another sigh and a tired look on his face he started cleaning the cups. He felt his body being colder than usual and his brain zoning out as he mindlessly scrupped the cups. `So useless. Useless. Why do I even try? This will not work. I am no healer I have no right to try and imitate their abilities.` Espresso could not help himself and surpress his thought at the moment. `Stop thinking you can be something special. Face it, you are just-!` his thoughts got interrupted by a knock on the door. With heavy steps and while drying of his hands in a towel he made his way to the door. He put his normal face on. His somewhat confident face. No one had to know his state of mind. "Please make it quick." He said naturally as he opened the door. In front of him the beloved knight of the kingdom. Madeleine cookie.

"Espresso cookie! You are alive after all!" Madeleine said with his usual bright smile. "Noone has seen you for weeks and we started getting worried! I talked to Herb and he was the last one to see you. Have you eaten? Did you even sleep Espresso? You look like you haven´t in several days" Madeleine said in a ramble of words as he examined the mage in front of him. ´This cookie is too much to handle` Espresso thought. "I`m fine. I got my coffee." he answered quickly. "I can certainly take care of myself." he said with a hint of annoyance. It was no lie but the fact that he could didn´t mean he would. He couldn´t give himself anything good, not until he finished. Madeleine thought for a moment not losing his smile while still looking at Espresso. Neither of them said anything and Espresso couldn´t help but feel uncomfortable in this silence. He looked down at the knight´s hand which were holding a whit box with a blue and golden ribbon on it. "What´s that?" the mage questioned which seem to remeber Madeleine of something. "O-oh yeah! I thought you probably hadn´t eaten in a while so I made you some glazed donuts because you seem to like them!" The night said happily with a hint of a blush covering his cheeks. "You could´ve bought them, you know?" Espresso said before taking the box and closing the door in front of him. He turned on his heel and walked to the kitchen. His hands were shaking and he set the box as far as possible away from his on the counter. He had such a hard time controlling his emotions. "I don´t deserve this food..." he mumbled as he sat down at the kitchen table and covered his eyes with his hands.

Madeleine just looked at the closed door in front of him. Eventhough he had gotten used to Espresso being rather cold to him he still took the food, which made Madeleine quite happy but on the other hadn he was even more worried than he had been before arriving at the other´s cookie house. Madeleine could clearly see that Espresso looked even more tired than he had ever seen the mage. And another thing he was concerned about was that he could have sworn that there was dried up blood on Espresso´s sleeve. With that he walked back to his own home. ´I will keep an eye on him´ and with that goal set in his mind he had a confident smile. He would be there for Espresso even if the other would not want it. The Divine and more so himself wanted to protect the darker cookie at all cost. He wondered though what could be on Espresso´s mind. It was not unusual to not see the other for a few days or a week but this time something was different... atleast Madeleine felt that it was different. The knight continued his daily walks around the kingdom for two more hours not being able to shake off his concern. On his way home he looked up at the sky, oh let the divine help him to help this fellow cookie.

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It took the distressed mage a couple of minutes and maybe even an hour to collect himself. He felt so...pathetic. He was not suppose to let emotions get in his way or atleast that is what he thought. So he surpressed them. Emotions only hindered him at work, so it was no wonder that once they reached his head he was not sure how to handle them. What does one do when surpressing something doesn´t help anymore? Espresso went into the bathroom and splashed some water in his face before looking at the mirror. "Madeleine was right... I look like shit." He chuckled lightly and shook his head. He decided to take a quick shower to clean his head off of his thoughts and maybe bring him some new energy. He walked into his bedroom where he passed a big mirror `You are so worthless. Worthless that´s what you are. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic!`the voice told him the longer he looked at his own figure. He grimaced and looked away. In the end he was only the founder of coffee magic and nothing more. `I should be proud´ he thought but he cannot get the feeling off of his chest that all of this was for nothing. Not only this single experiment but also his life... he supposed. He could have been anything but why did he have to become this? Espresso shook his head once more, a bit harder this time as to shake off these bad thoughts. He quickly grabbed some fresh clothes and got into the shower, already feeling better as the hot water would hit his body.

Madeleine laid in his bed. It was unusual for him to be awake at such a late hour but his mind could not rest. Something was bothering him, to be exact, it was Espresso that was bothering him. He was not annoyed nor mad at the other cookie but indeed very worried about his friend. The knight knew if he would not rest he could not help Espresso either but he couldn`t stop about thinking about what he saw. He was sure it was blood on his sleeve, surely not much but enough to set the knight off. ´Was Espresso... no...´ Madeleine could not even think of Espresso as such a cookie. Espresso was proud, cold at times but would care and make time for others non the less. He was such a strong cookie, he even saved Madeleine in some occasions in battle when the blonde was too focused on other enemies in front he wouldn`t notices the ones attacking him from behind. Madeleine sighed and turned to his side, his gut feeling was hitting him with a baseballbat so hard he practically knew something was off but...he couldn´t do anything right in this moment. And neither was he in the place to help. Eventhough Madeleine was always just ignoring or shrugging off Espresso´s comment he was not stupid. ´Maybe he would accept the help from others?´ Madeleine thought to himself. A weird feeling overcame him and he pulled the covers closer "...I want to be the one to help him though...." he mumbled quietly into the darkness. "Is that so bad..?" he asked but received no answer.

Espresso had finished his shower and one could tell he definetly felt better. Walking into the kitchen he noticed the Box that stood there. He sat down and pulled the box towards him. Hours ago Espresso wasn´t even able to think about giving himself a break or even considering eating even the slightest but maybe...he could work better with something in his stomach. He opened the box to reveal four glazed donuts. Two of them had golden and blue glazing and the other two had brown and black glazing. He could not help but smile in amusement "This damn idiot...". Espresso had hated that cookie ever since they met. He had has his reasons but eventhough he would be cold towards the other he could not deny the fact that his kindness was indeed as big as everyone always said. He took a bite out of a blue and golden glazed donut. It was hard to deny but these donuts weren´t half as bad as he had anticipated.

`Stop. Wasting time. Wasting time. This is not important!` A cold shiver ran over Espresso and he placed the donut back. "I´ll take these once I finish.." he mumbled as his mind shifted and focused on his experiment again. He entered his labratory again and looked at his desk that was still a mess from his last outburst. He took a deep breath "You got this Espresso" he told himself and with a bit more determination got back to his project. This time it should work right? He felt less frustated than before. But even then he would not allow himself more failure than needed.

Chapter Text

Two days had passed since the last time Espresso had food, social contact or rather anything else than his experiment at hand. He could not deny the fact that he felt completly exhausted. He started to see things in the corner of his eye. He would occasionally just stare blankly at his experiment without any thoughts at all or too many thoughts at once. He put his face in his hands and for once decided to act against his better will. "I think I need to get out" he mumured into his palms and got up without looking back at his experiment. He went into the bathroom because after all, if any other cookie was out he had to keep up with what they expected. They expected him to look good, to be perfectly healthy. Atleast he thought they expected that from him eventhough it was only what he thought. "Holy fuck..." he cursed as he saw the way he looked in the mirror. One could clearly see that he was not doing okay. He could not change his appearance that fast so once again he did what any other cookie would`ve done more than a week ago. He´d go to sleep.

Some minutes later Espresso silently stared at his ceiling in the bedroom. It was nighttime and he sure was tired but then... why would he not fall asleep? His mind flooded with thoughts.

I should work.
But I can`t like this.
You have to.
I need to rest.
I need to clear my mind and get out!
But for that I need to sleep first.
But I cannot because I need to finish first.

Espresso let out a sigh and turned to look outside the window. The moon shone it`s pale moonlight onto the trees in front of his house and it was already past midnight so why not go for a quick walk now? There should not be a single cookie around so might aswell use the chance. He changed again into a very casual look but drapped a coat over his shoulders. Espresso might be a very warm cookie on his own but even after soo much sleep deprivation it would make him rather sensible to the fresh air outside.
He took a breath and opened the door and took some steps outside after what could have been ages. He looked up at the nightsky, it looked like every other nightsky he thought but seeing that it hadn`t changed made Espresso feel weirdly at easy. So while closing the door behind him he started his nightly walk.

After twenty or so minutes Espresso had found a nice bench near the fountain in the kingdom´s center. This is what he needed, just calming things. The splashing water of the fountain to cover his thoughts or fill the emptiness in his head, the calming moonlight setting a nice mood and the footsteps he could hear a bit father away. He smiled and closed his eyes, feeling the exhausting flow through his body.

Wait...
Footsteps..?
He forced his eyes open and looked to the side and there he stood. Madeleine cookie... Of course it could not have been any other cookie but... why was he here? Espresso felt so taken back by his exhaustion that he could only look at the other cookie, which noticed him but stayed quiet until he was next to the bench he was sitting on.

"Espresso, it`s nice seeing you out here" the knight said with a smile and an unusual quiet tone.

The darker only hummed as a respond, "...why are you here?" he asked Madeleine tiredly.

Madeleine carefully sat down next to Espresso, still keeping as much distance as possible between them, which was not much but Espresso didn´t seem to mind anyways he thought. "I am doing nightpatrols for two days now and also for the next few days." Madeleine and Espresso both averted their eyes and watched the fountain. "Well... Lilac Cookie actually went out the kingdom to visit someone close to him he told us. Normally he would take the knight patrols you know? Of course I couldn`t say no." Madeleine said.

Espresso had closed his eyes again after Madeleine had looked away, he listened to the knight. Not to what he said but how soothing his voice was once he would actually quiet down. While the knight continued on talking how weird it was for him to be awake this late Espresso felt his body and mind giving into the tiredness he was holding. He listened to Madeleine talking beside him until...

Madeleine stopped talking after he felt something heavy on his shoulder. He turned to look and found the Mage leaning onto him. "Espresso...?" he asked quietly but got no respond. He smiled slightly, "no wonder he didn´t mind me here." the blonde quietly said to himself and moved closer to the sleeping cookie next to him so that his head would rest better on his shoulder.

He did not move for a while and would just listen to the fountain and the soft breathing beside him. Madeleine felt so... warm and so complete in is chest. He could not put it in words but... he smiled, a true smile without any show in it. "This feels good" he said happily to himself. A true divine´s blessing.

After some more minutes he softly lifted Espresso´s head from his shoulder and picked him up birdal style. Espresso didnt move at all, his head rested on the knights chest as said cookie started to walk towards the smaller cookies house. As they arrived Madeleine opened the door or atleast tried to. It was locked "Of course he would lock it" he quietly cursed. Very carefully he managed to pull out the key, Espresso had in his coat and celebrated as he unlocked the door while still holding onto the other cookie. Espresso was not heavy, which made Madeleine worry because he thought he weighs far too little but he just didn´t wish to disturb the others sleep. Madeleine had never been in Espresso´s house so it took him some minutes to find his bedroom. Again very carefulyl he put Espresso down and turned on a small light next to his bed. He took off his coat aswell as boots. He did not dare changing the others clothes and just let it be. After taking off Espresso´s glasses he took a look at him. He looked...tired, Madeleine noticed. More tired than usual, aswell as thinner than usual. He let out a sigh "Espresso...what are you doing to yourself?" he questioned but never received an answer. Closing the door of the bedroom quietly behind him.

Madeleine felt akward standing in the kitchen but as he was about to leave again as he noticed the box he gave him last time they met. Opening it revealed he had eaten one and a half of the glazed donuts. Madeleine felt hurt for a second but decided to shrug it off.

He really is not taking care of himself, is he...? he thought while closing the box and leaving the house. He looked back at the door with an unease feeling but turned around anyways and continued his nightly patrol.

Chapter Text

It was in the middle of the day when Espresso had finally woken up again. He had lazily opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "I suppose I needed that..." he mumured to himself. He thought of last night and what happened. After not being able to fall asleep he oddly found peace and comfort in the cookie he was not so fond of. He sighed, of course he didn´t hate him anymore but this was weird to him. Also he was surprised at how different Madeleine had seemed last night. He spend some more time thinking about it and then got ready to start into his day.

After changing his sweaty clothes to a new set and finally having the energy to clean his kitchen he brewed himself a new cup of coffee. Normally that would have been his normal routine if he was not so persistent on his experiment. `Come to think of it...` Espresso though `I do require some new ingredients to work properly`. He had still enough of the mixture from Herb but he thought, getting out would bring him new ideas. So that would be his next step.

The sun was high up in the kingdom and many Cookies were out of their houses. It bothered Espresso but greeted most of them with a quick nod. He walked around rather randomly and sat down by the fountain just like last night. He did not expect Madeleine to be there afterall he was not used to the night patrols so he would probably sleep. Espresso did not care, it was simply a fact he was thinking of.

Some time had passed and Espresso decided to walk further, into a more quieter area of the kingdom that was not visited often. He got lost in his own thoughts while walking.

`There must be a way for this to work but I am sure there is just a certain ingedrient missing. Considering how many things exist on Earthbread I would probably be stuck for more than a decade on this but that´s what being a founder of something is about, right? Maybe it would be more herbs or in generell flowers, after all coffee beans are plants.
Or maybe some material? Medicine or something like that but the mix Herb had given me was medicine in a way`.

Espresso thought of more possibilities for a long while that he had not noticed the sun setting already. "I need to go home and write it all down" he said with a sigh and returned home, not walking as fast as others might have thought he would if he made some possible new discoveries, but he wanted to enjoy the nice light that had covered the kingdom in a sweet golden glow.

Golden hour as some might call it was Madeleine´s favorite of the day. He could not deny it but everytime his mind felt so content when he would see the kingdom shimmer and shine in such a beautiful glow. It reminded him indeed of the light of the divine and everytime he thought, this was reassurance of the divine watching over the kingdom.

His routine had not changed at all after the change of patrols. He would still get out of bed, get himself ready and eat a donut together with a cup of tea. His mood was good and how could it not be? He was awake and he had figured out a plan last night to take care of a certain cookie. He was almost too excited to sleep but he knew he had to anyways. The happier he is now.

Madeleine had put on his armor together with his trusty sword and met up with Knight cookie to exchange any important events that might have happened as Madeleine took his well-deserved sleep. It was a rather quick meet up due to nothing exceptional happening and Knight cookie already being awaited by Princess cookie. He had excused himself rather fast and made his way with a blush on his cheeks. Madeleine couldnt help but chuckle a bit at the scene but then started patrolling.

Madeleine was quite busy in the evening. Helping Herb find some flowers in the forest that he needed. "They only start blooming in the evening" Herb had told him and therefore asked if Madeleine could accompany him. Of course he did without any hesitation. Other than that he had helped some citizens with some heavy material. Crafted some shovels for Chilli Pepper cookie, something of "Burying treasure" she said.

Madeleine was nowhere out of breath after delivering the shovels to Chilli and he looked up at the sky. By now the kingdom had been quiet for a while. Most cookies returned to their houses or to Sparklings bar. It was a nice night he thought, so he started walking to a certain cookie´s house. Madeleine thought that maybe for the rest of the days where he would patrol in the night he could take Espresso with him. Espresso seemed a bit more comfortable when noone was out and like this he could make sure Espresso was doing alright.

He stepped closer to the door and knocked against it.

Espresso frowned as a knock on his door snapped him out of reading some books about healing flowers/herbs. He could think of who it was as he walked towards the door and opened it.

"Madeleine, what do you want?" he asked in a rather cold way. Not as cold as usual he noticed himself. Only because something happened last night does not mean he had grown soft towards the blonde.
"Espresso, it´s good to see you!" Madeleine replied happily. "I was wondering if you would be willing to accompany me on the nightly patrols for a while?" he said while reaching out a hand to Espresso.
The later sighed "I am busy with an experiment. I don´t have the time to go on a walk now" he said looking down at Madeleines hand and already taking a step back inside.
Madeleine pulled his hand back, he had expected that. "I think it would do you some good to get outside. Espresso it is impressive how tiredlessly you work, though you need to take care of yourself even if it´s just for ten minutes. It´s a wonderful night out afterall." he said with a smile shot at the other.

Espresso stared at him `This is too much too handle` he thought and went inside but leaving the door open, indicating he will come back. He grabbed his coat and closed the door. `Might aswell just go with him. The last walk had cleared my mind so maybe this will aswell.` he thought and waited for Madeleine to start walking into the kingdom.

A winning smile played on the blondes lips as they both silently walked through the moonlight filled kingdom.

Chapter Text

Madeleine and Espresso had a silent deal. For some days now, each night Madeleine would pick up Espresso at his laboratory and the two of them would walk. Either in complete silence or Madeleine would sometimes tell some stories. They get along in the night, something Espresso would never admit at day or to anyone. He had found himself enjoying walking around with the knight as everything was quiet. Though nothing can last forever.

A knock on the door and Espresso knew who it was. "Coming" he said as shutting his notebook and turning off the light. He shuffled his hair a bit and put his coat on before opening the door. "Good evening Madeleine" he said as he shot the blonde a quick glance and locked the door behind him to which the later could only smile "Evening Espresso" and then they would start their walk.

The nights weren´t like before. The moon was fading in the night sky and clouds would show up more often, the streetlights now lightening up the kingdom though the warm white light they gave off set a rather comforting mood. "Espresso?" Madeleine asked without looking at the other "Did you sleep enough the past few days?" Espresso stayed quiet and thought about it, the past few days he was not willing to sleep. Again. He had found his mind quieter considering his troubled mindset while sleeping though the experiment would still haunt his inner self so eventhough he knows he could sleep he surely wouldn´t. "That should not be something you worry about" Espresso answered.

"Espresso my friend! I care about you so please, do tell me the truth" Madeleine said. Since his walks with Espresso Madeleine has gotten used to lowering his voice significantly.

With a sigh Espresso looked away. "If you must know. I have not slept since... the bench incident" his voice got quieter at the end. "My project is quite important so I can´t waste time sleeping. The most time I get off is when I go on a walk with you, so you should consider yourself lucky that I am here." Madeleine did indeed consider himself lucky especially after hearing that but his concern did grow nontheless. But right now it felt like if Madeleine would do one wrong move Espresso would run away from him and shut him off. He did not want to risk that at all so he focused on something other than Espresso´s health. He wondered why it mattered so little to him though. "What is your project about, if I may ask?" Madeleine asked instead.

Espresso sighed again. He wanted to go but somehow he did not want go away from the person that cared about him. No matter if it was Madeleine that cared or someone else he could not deny that it felt good. Thats what he thought but shrugged it off. He looked around and saw a bench on which he sat down. It was in the kingdom´s center with the fountain softly playing with water like last time. Madeleine sat down next to him. Normally he would´ve ignored his question but found himself ready to talk about what he was working on.

"I am trying to combine coffee magic with healing magic. At first I make something like a potion and then I research how the different types of magic can hold eachother together. Then after I have succesfully done that I will have to transfer it into a magic spell instead of just the potion. It´s complicated and takes time." He looked at Madeleine for the first time who just looked at him fondly while listening. Espresso cleared his throat, now looking at the fountain. His cheeks felt warm. "Lately, I have to admit, that my work has been failing quite often, which is alright... though it has been nagging on me quite a bit." He took a breath in, it was new to him to open up but somehow he could not stop himself. "I need to finish this as quickly as possible because it is important to me. That is why I cannot simply go to sleep. Sometimes even if I wanted to I wouldn´t be able to. My guilt would eat me up on the inside like it always does." Espresso had muttered the last part to himself.

He felt himself being pulled out of his thoughts as someone next to him put a warm hand on his. He had forgotten that he was not alone. Madeleine then took both of Espresso´s hands in his to which Espresso turned to face him.
"Espresso your determination is admireable I must say." Madeleine smiled softly at Espresso which was covered in the warm streetlamp light. Madeleine´s heart jumped at the sight but he knew right now that doesn´t matter. "When you work on something that matters to you then it will work out!" Madeleine´s boastfull tone had nowhere to hide. "I am sure you will find a way to combine coffee and healing magic! I believe in you Espresso!" Espresso could´ve sworn that the last sentence was filled with emotion he could not put in words. But this right there. Madeleine sitting in front of him while holding his hands and smiling, while covering Espresso in confidence is something that made his heart stutter for a second. It made him feel good so he could only smile back at the man infront of him. Something you don´t see quite often from the normally grumpy professor.

"Thank you Madeleine" Espresso said while pulling his hands away and facing the fountain again. Madeleine did the same as Espresso and was now watching the fountain. Madeleine took a breath before setting his hand on Espresso´s on the bench. And without anything said they stayed like this before having to go again.

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And just like it had arrived it had gone away. Madeleine Cookie, as much as he wanted to, was not able to make it to Espresso the next two nights. He had been called back in to do the patrols at day and Lilac Cookie had invited him to some drinks the first night. The second night Madeleine almost fell asleep while walking and figured he needed to fix his sleeping schedule atleast a tiny bit. Now it was the third night and his determination to visit Espresso was there. So after his patrols for the day, helping out cookies here and there and declining spending the evening at Sparklings bar, he sat at home as he watched the sun slowly lose it´s hight.

He sighed. `Would Espresso be sad or even mad that he didn´t visit?` He shook his head. `No Espresso would most likely enjoy the silence he had for those nights.` Madeleine thought about how this had started in the first place. He had noticed something himself that day.

The day they came back after the expidition was like ususal. Just like Espresso, Madeleine had been there aswell. After the incident they had all settled down and took a well deserved break. Espresso had been able to calm Custard the third so much he was could heal himself again. Everyone was so proud of him that the young cookie almost immediately forgot how bad or shocking the situation actually was. And as they sat there while eating some candy he noticed Espresso being awfully quiet. It was nothing new but even for him this was on another level. Madeleine meant to ask Espresso after they had returned to the kingdom but he had left immdiately to his laboratory. Madeleine tried not to think of this too much but after realizing that the mage had not left his lab to get some fresh air or something to eat after almost a month he grew worried.

Madeleine was fond of Espresso. Even through his harsh words and cold actions he was not able to let that cookie out of his life. Maybe it was the fact that they shared the same area where they grew up. It was rare findind someone out of the republic afterall or maybe it was even something more that Madeleine didn´t dare put a name on. No matter what it was he had decided to make Espresso food and bring it to him no matter how he´d react. And finding Espresso sitting on the bench in the night had been such a wonderful coincidence for him.

Madeleine streched and tied his hair up as the last sunrays hit the kingdom. Soon enough only the streetlamps would light up the kingdom again. It was late and his work had been done for the day. There had been no need for him to continue wearing his beloved and blessed armor so he wore a rather casual look for once. Madeleine put on his boots and headed to the store. He had noticed Espresso not eating much of his donuts last time but he needed something to eat anyways. Maybe store bought would be better this time. So as he had gathered the food and walked out of the store he was finally able to visit his favorit cookie.

It was not a long way to walk to Espresso´s lab and so with a smile on his face he knocked on Espresso´s door.

The mage almost jolted up as he heard the knock on his door. The past few days he had been focusing harder on his experiment though he had found a distraction within his own mind. And it was no wonder to him that said distraction was now standing in front of him as he opened the door. "Hey Espresso!" Madeleine greeted him happy as always. "My apologies for not returning earlier but the past few nights had been quite full. I hope you were still able to take care of yourself properly."
"Enough of this nonsense. I am no child Madeleine" he spoke. Indeed he was no child but might aswell a child would be able to take better care of themselves. "What do you want?" Espresso asked as he eyed the golden man infront of him.
"Well you see I thought you had some time to spare to have a nice evening with me" He held up the small bag he was carrying. "I even brought each of us a donut" he smiled.

And there it was again the distraction that infested his mind. His heart feeling cozy while his mind felt taken care of by Madeleine just being here and caring about his health. He did not like this but... he liked it. He sighed and stepped a bit back letting Madeleine know he was suppose to come in.

"I need to take a shower. Sit yourself somewhere and don`t touch anything neither go around my stuff." Espresso said, left quickly to get clothes and jumped into the shower.

Madeleine placed the donuts down in the kitchen and didn´t even sit down. Madeleine always found it interesting how Espresso lived or existed. It was not much and mostly books but he had not expected something else. Before he´d looked further around he sighed and sit down regardless of his curiousity. He should not use the trust Espresso put into him.

Some minutes passed and the water turned off. A hairdryer could be heard for another few minutes before Espresso came back into the kitchen. His hair was fluffy and he smelled good, with a hint vanilla Madeleine had thought as he looked at Espresso but snapped back when said cookie placed two plates infront of him onto the table. Espresso brewed some coffee "Do you want one aswell?" Espresso asked without turning around to Madeleine who accepted the offer.

As the coffee finished they sat in silence with their donuts on their plates. This silence felt awkward but gladly the loud knight would get rid of this rather quickly. "Espresso are there any new results on your project?" he asked carefully and bit into his donut while looking at the mage.
"A few indeed" Espresso happily told him and took a bite out of his own donut. They continued eating while Espresso would sometimes go on about his experiments. It was new to him that somebody asked and even when it was the knight who had the most interested shimmer in his eyes while Espresso talked he thought it was a nice change.

After finishing their donuts they had a bit of smalltalk and decided to go for a walk like they had used to.
"Aren´t you cold?" Espresso asked Madeleine who had not brought his coat along. He shook his head "No worries dear Espresso! The divine warms me."
Espresso only rolled his eyes and continued walking till they came to sit by the fountain again.

For Espresso it had become a place of comfort and mostly an escape for his thoughts. For Madeleine it has become his favorit place, let alone for the fact that he shares it with Espresso.

They sit next to eachother and watched the founatin in silence. After a while Madeleine had started to talk about Lilac cookie and his visit, so Espresso leaned back and closed his eyes.

"He had told me that his trip had been dangerous and as he arrived a cookie named Yogurt Cream Cookie had almost immideatly dragged him along to get some treasures." Madeleine let out a light chuckle "Apparently while they had been on their treasure hunt Lilac Coookie had to save Yoghurt Cream Cookie multiple times which is nothing new to him"

Espresso opened his eyes `this is uncomfortable` he thought and looked at the cookie beside him.

"There were gummie snakes attacking them in the night and even cake hounds that had adjusted to the desert! There was danger everywhere but-" Madeleine stopped talking as he felt a head on his shoulder. ´Like the first night, hm?` he thought to himself and adjusted his own position so Espresso would be more comfortable. His cheeks were tainted with a blush and this situation made him feel warm on the inside. He decided to wait like this before bringing Espresso home.

Espresso scoffed, he had a unnoticable blush on his own cheeks, he could feel the warmth from his cheek and from Madeleine beside him. "Continue the story you idiot" he muttered and looked up at Madeleine who winced and looked to the side to meet Espresso´s eyes. Madeleine wished his body would not betray him and let his blush fade but it definetly did not, so the only thing he did was pray to the divine that the streetlamps wouldn´t show his flustered face. Around them it felt like everything fell silent as they looked at one another. Until Espresso cleared his throat and the eye contact broke. "Did they manage to retrieve the desired treasure?" Espresso asked and Madeleine hummed while now looking at the fountain. "In the end they managed to find the treasure but let me tell you what happened after that."

And so Madeleine continued the story and filled it with detail till twenty minutes had passed. As they sat there in another wave of silence Madeleine looked to the side. Espresso had his eyes closed and his breathing was calm. "Espresso?" he asked quietly but never got a response. Once again, like the first night they had sat here together, Madeleine carried the mage back to his home and into his bed. He was tired himself and wanted to lay next to the sleeping figure to just hold him and never let him go. Madeleine knew where these feelings would go to. He left Espresso´s house. Madeleine didn´t want to admit it but he knew that these feelings he felt were not only the familiarity they both share. He knew that he cannot surpress them and furthermore knew the chances of all of this ending in something more than friendship were almost none existent. With a sigh he opened his own front door. No matter if he loved Espresso or not; he thought; it would not change anything regarding they way he acted or talked to him. Which made him wonder.... maybe he liked Espresso longer than he himself thought.

Chapter Text

Everything was black. No light. No sounds around him. Espresso found himself floating in black nothingness. He floated there and stared into nothing. In his conscioussness he was aware that this might not be real but his own self in the void was not. Hearing his own voices around him he moved, trying to find where the voice was coming from.

"Espresso~" The voice whispered to his left and he turned.

"Essy what are you looking for?" he heard to his right. Again he turned but nothing was there.

"What are you waiting for?" Something above him questioned.

Eyes. There were eyes when he looked up. Staring at him. Just white small eyes. A person? Espresso froze.

"You are waiting till it´s too late, Espresso." The voice said and Espresso closed his eyes. "GO AWAY!" he yelled.

"Look." The voice said right next to Espresso´s ear. With a shock he opened his eyes and looked to the side. Eyes all around him. This time they were red. They all looked at him and then Espresso felt ground beneath his feet but immideatly fell to his knees. A spotlight was directed at him. First one, then two, then three, seemingly out of nowhere.

Espresso´s body shook as he heard whispers from what felt like a crowd. Everyone around him was whispering and then looking at him. `This couldn´t be real, right?!` Espresso´s panic started to rise as the whispers turned into talking and then into yelling.

Taking his head into his hands he started to feel hot tears falling down his eyes. His breathing was fast, heavy and it felt like the air was getting less in the void where he had been. "Stop..." he mumbled.

"Stop..." Again only a whisper this time.

The voices got louder and they started laughing as if he just told a joke.

"Stop...Stop..Stop! Stop laughing at me!" His head shot up.

"Stop talking about me! Stop staring at me! Stop whipering and yelling at me!" He yelled at the eyes that fell silent on his outburst.

Now everything was silent again and soon enough the red eyes would slowly fade away into the black nothingness they had come from.

Espresso was still on his knees. Breathing heavy, his body shaking and voice feeling sore. One pair of eyes remained.

"Espresso. You are not going to help anyone if you remain here" the voice said coldy as they stared with white eyes. "You truly are useless if you keep this up and soon enough you will see it yourself." The eyes faded away and Espresso was able to calm himself; the words sticking in a deep part of his brain. Everything was silent around him and he was alone. Everything felt hot and cold at the same time and as he got up to his still wobbly legs, he was, once again, faced with something. This time a reflection of himself or a doppelganger? They stared at eachother and before anything could happen the eyes of the figure in front of him turned white and jabbed a knife through Espresso´s stomach.

Espresso jolted awake and gasped for air holding his stomach. He felt sick as if he was about to spit out all of his guts. His shoulders began to shake and quiet sobs escaped the usual emotionless cookie. He could not allow himself to sleep anymore as he curled down onto his bed.