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Kaz Brekker didn’t know much about love. He was too young to understand it while his parents were still alive, and now of course he wouldn’t put his mind on these futile topics for all the kruge in the world.
This is probably why Kaz Brekker didn’t know anything about the Gooseday. That, and also because he listened only to what it was worth listening, and Jesper babbling about love and geese was definitely not worth it. It didn’t bring money. It sounded like some idiotic legend. It was about emotions. All good reasons to delete instantly Jesper’s words from his mind.
But as it turns out, even if you don’t know anything about the Gooseday, the goose is coming for you anyway.
It was a silent, cold morning of a winter day. It wasn’t enough cold to frost the streets, but it was enough to make people wish for more coal in their fireplace.
Kaz had almost pull an all-nighter, but in the end he had collapsed on his desk, blacking out for three bells. Tiredness and the humid, cold weather of Ketterdam were awful companions for his mood. He woke up with a sore in the lower part of his back and sparks of pain jolting through his bad leg.
He realized immediately that something had woke him up. Looking across the room, he saw nothing relevant. Probably it was a crow outside the window, or someone from the Dregs had fired their gun. He rubbed his eyes and straighten his back, trying to ease the pain a little bit. Then, a terrible sound broke the silence.
Kaz jolted on his two feet and a cane and slammed open the door, scanning the Slat for the source of the sound.
The sound repeated itself, and Kaz was not sure if it was from some sort of old rusted mechanism, but it was awful.
The silence was quite deep at this bell in the morning, and everyone was sound asleep. Kaz, in alert and all ready for some beating, went down the dark stairs. As soon as he reached the main hall, a swirl of something big and white assaulted him. Kaz made a quick jump on the side, avoiding the big fluttering thing that was now making that horrible, strangled, loud noise.
It was a goose, it occurred to him in a strike of realization. It felt odd, seeing a goose in the middle of the Slat. It was not only completely out of context, since a fat and juicy animal like that wouldn’t have last a day in Ketterdam , but it was also as a different part of him was being pulled out from his chest, from his memories, and had took a tangible form right in front of his eyes. This goose was exactly like the one they had in Lij, the beak, the size, the spiteful look. And exactly like their goose in Lij, it attacked again, without restrain. Kaz beat the animal with his cane, just once. For self defence, of course. Not because it was a fucking hateful animal, only good for a festivity lunch.
Without any reason, the goose turned and aimed at the exit door, then it came back to him and managed to peck his foot. It was surprisingly painful.
I’m going to kill this shitty animal and make it my breakfast, Kaz thought angrily. What does it want from me?
The farm goose from his childhood was easy to read. It hated Kaz and its only desire was to eat corn. That’s how simple it was. This goose here was a mystery.
It almost looks as if it wants me to follow. But it can’t be. Right…?
The goose made more awful noises, than run again towards the door. Then it came back to attack him again, with more ferocity.
Ghezen, I hate geese so much.
He followed the goose outside, and the animal looked happy enough. It didn’t engage in any more of their fights, so Kaz simply assumed that he had guessed correctly: the goose wanted to lead him somewhere.
This is fucking crazy, he thought while the animal attacked some random pigeon across the street with a flutter of wings and an abundance of shrieking sounds.
Although it was early in the morning, Kaz realised there were already several people following him, exchanging curious looks. He counted five of them and recognised three as member of gangs. He was used to this at this point of life, after all Kaz was one of the most powerful leaders in Ketterdam. His first thought was for his Wraith. She always knew if there was some business with other gangs and if he was likely to be followed. It was quite strange that Inej wasn’t there. Plus, she hadn’t let him know anything. For a moment short as a lighting, Kaz felt a sudden concern for her. What if she wasn’t there because she was injuried?
The goose caught his attention by attacking a couple of old drunk men that happened to be in the middle of its way. They looked a lot like good old Per Haskell, full of themselves and spending all the money earned by other in wine and kvas. Deep inside, Kaz was pleased to witness this little show. At least, he thought, the evil goose was not aiming at him.
His followers were still there, and it looked like they were growing in number. Now there were eight of them. It was concerning. Kaz slowed his pace, while his mind was running wildly through every possible explanation for this ridiculous outcome. Now Kaz proceeded slowly, one step at a time, the cane tapping on the street’s pavement.
Predictably, short after, the goose grew impatient and attacked him again, this time with more wings-waving and terrible high-pitched sounds. Kaz was already sick and tired of all of this, and promptly beated the animal with his cane. The only result of this strategy was to make the goose angrier and meaner.
“Kaz, what the fuck” a laugh came from behind him, and he already knew who he belonged to. The tallest and most colorful of all the Dregs, Jesper. Also, luckily, the best sharpshooter.
Kaz looked at him frowning. “What, now you’re a defender of geese’s rights?”.
Jesper was staring at him gingerly. “You are not supposed to kill the goose on your Gooseday!” exclaimed coming closer, with a cautious look at the evil animal. “By the way, congratulations, boss!”.
Kaz eyes darted in his direction, crossed. “Gooseday. Such a stupid name. I am sure you made it up”.
Jesper smiled in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?” He crossed his long arms in a swing. “Wait, you really didn’t know? Were you even listening while I was talking to you about my love problems?”
As Kaz, the goose was clearly done for, and attacked Kaz’s cane this time. He withraw it at the speed of light, leaving the animal running without an aim.
“What are you saying, Jesper?” he asked, turning to his friend. “Can you explain why for Ghezen’s sake, I am chased by an aggressive and persistent goose?”
Jesper smiled wider. “I actually can. But first, stop hitting the poor animal, and second, start walking or it won’t leave you alone.”
Kaz scoffed, but decided to take the hint.
They started walking together. Jesper was gleaming of happiness, while Kaz was even grumpier than usual. His bad leg was aching and throbbing, and he was following a spiteful goose to Ghezen knows where. Hopefully, some place in Ketterdam, at least. Hopefully, far away from these people, who were tragically growing in number again.
“Make this people disappear” he barked to Jesper, without even looking back. “On the job, boss!” The sharpshooter turned on his heels and shoot twice over their heads, just as low as he could without hurting anyone. He grinned for the pleasant shiver along his limbs. He felt it anytime he used his two babies. In a heartbeat, the crowd scattered and there was silence again.
They kept walking, the goose in front of them a big and white nonsense in the dark alleys of Ketterdam.
“Explain. And be quick about it.” Kaz ordered, his voice rougher than usual.
Jesper played with the handles of his guns while starting to speak. “Everyone in this world has a soulmate, a person suchlike and destined only to them. They belong to each other, since their birth-“
“Cut the sappy bullshit and get to the point”.
The Zemeni man almost laughed. “That’s the point.” He aimed the gun to a curious deckman, and the man disappeared in a heartbeat. “On your Gooseday, the goose is supposed to lead you to your soulmate. To the person who will spend the life with you and, you know, all that sappy bullshit. That’s why those people where following you, they were intrigued”.
Kaz didn’t speak, his expression unfazed. If Jesper had been a better observer, he could have noticed his sudden paleness, but he was not.
Someone to spend the life with? Someone to love? How is that even possible for me? Kaz knew too well that he was nothing but a monster and he lived fiercely so. If what Jesper was implying was true, he was about to meet a person who would have been his better half. He took a deep breath. It was impossible. How could someone love a monster?
The goose was waving its tail, proceeding in the narrow streets. It looked like a dream. No, a nightmare. Kaz had the urge to kick the goose, but the animal walked faster, almost reading his mind.
“Are you excited to meet your soulmate?”
“As much as to get stabbed in my bad leg. Are we going somewhere, or this goose is just taking us to a tour of the city?” His gaze was clearly saying I am tired and this damn leg hurts, for Ghezen’s sake!
Suddenly, the goose stopped. It started squeaking and running in circle, a white blur of feathers in the mist of Ketterdam.
Kaz glanced at Jesper. “Well, look at that. I received a flawed goose.” The goose stopped and tried to attack him again in response. Kaz dodged the sharp beak, its bright orange flashing between all the white.
“What are you doing here?”, a voice asked abruptly from above.
“What are you doing here?” Kaz replied, angered. “Wraith, I don’t reckon giving you a job in this part of the city.”
Inej appeared from the edge of the roof. Her braid swing down her shoulder as she leaned down.
As soon as she saw the goose, still squealing disturbingly, her eyes widened.
“Is that…?”
“Yes” Jesper answered merrily. “It’s Kaz’s Gooseday!”.
The goose started some sort of awkward attempt to fly, but the walls of the street were too narrow and it kept bumping on the bricks with all its feathery body.
Kaz saw Inej freeze, the braid still swinging in the void. She looked at the goose, then her gaze shifted to him.
Kaz’s skin started to burn. Too many thoughts crowded his mind, as her eyes met his. He felt the sudden urge to run.
“Well,” he said in a sharp voice. “I’m gonna need you at the Slat, one bell from now”.
She was still staring at him, her brown, warm eyes melting him slowly.
In an impulse, Kaz turned away, back from where he came. Jesper yelled something, but soon his voice was too far to be heard.
Was she…? His mind seemed unable to grasp this thought. Could it be that she was his soulmate? How? Why?
This day was different than any other in his life. He wasn’t sure of what to think of it. It was simply, inevitably different. As the day of a wedding, the day of a funeral. Maybe this is why Jesper seemed so excited about the Gooseday.
He heard that damn goose behind him, its heavy feet on the pavement. And she was there, also. Following him from the rooftops, as usual.
He ignored her with all his being, trying to focus on the daily tasks that awaited him at the Slat. The only problem was how to get rid of this damn goose. Kaz could not picture himself plotting a heist or intimidating someone, while being under the constant attack of the evil animal. Fine, he thought, I’ll bear this situation for now. Let’s ignore it until I can deal with it, either for lunch or whatever. The goose squeaked angrily behind him. He could feel it running to catch his pace. Maybe I should just kill it, how hard could it be?
You don’t usually wake up in the morning already knowing that such a day would come. It’s impossible to recognize a special day in advance, an earthquake in a steady life. Kaz was not going to admit it, but he felt that change the moment his eyes locked with Inej’s. Her calm and breeze mind felt connected to his stormy, scheming mind in a way he had never experienced before, and it didn’t feel forced, not even for a second: it just felt right.
The goose pinched his trousers, trying to hold him back. Annoyed from the turmoil in his thoughts, Kaz vented his rage in a fast and strong thrashing. The goose jumped back, flapping its wings angrily.
Why was he running away, his mind kept on thinking. Kaz refused to accept the answer to that: because, for the first time since the plague, he had something he cared about, and this simple idea scared him more than hell itself. He was going to be damned anyway.
Light as a feather, Inej landed by his side, starting to walk fast, but still silent as a shadow.
“Kaz, what was that?” she asked bluntly.
What was that? And how the fuck should I know?
“Obviously, a goose”. His reply was dry, the cane stomping harder.
They went by the market street, and there it came chaos. The animal, suddenly thrilled from the sight of people and food, sent tables flying everywhere and scared the traders, always shrieking and coming back to nudge, bite, or attack Kaz, while Inej tried to clean the mess behind it.
Suddenly, the goose honked at him furiously, then it started to run in circle around him and Inej, still bringing destruction around them and forcing the two to stay in the middle of it, or else they would be knocked down by the mean beast. As the circle seemed to close, the honking went on and on, preventing every conversation between them.
Kaz's heart was beating fast. He and Inej were closer now, and he could see her glancing at him, something deep in her gaze that he couldn't quite understand. Their connection was clearly there and even if he had wanted to deny it, now this thought was unbearable. It felt like a part of him, and even if he was scared, even if he was clearly not ready to acknowledge the gravity of the whole situation, this bond was too important.
He had the feeling that she could understand him deeply and could feel his every thought, even the ones he tried to hide. Like how much he loved her laugh, or her hair always accurately braided, or her eyes dark as the sugary chocolate pastries he bought for her during their stakeouts…
"Kaz" she said loudly, trying to overcome the sounds made by the goose. "This goose… It's here for us".
And just like that, their bonding seemed inevitable now that she had spoken this truth. The goose was there for the two of them, and this could only mean that they were each other soulmate. That they were destined to be together in this life. Inej's cheeks were flushed now.
Kaz didn’t know how to reply to that. Instead, he asked "How do we get rid of this beast? I was thinking about choking it, but I have a feeling this animal has more lives than myself."
She had to cry for him to hear. "You have to kiss me".
Kiss her? As if! He couldn't even hold her hand, even if he wanted to...
She seemed to understand his discomfort - probably, she could, through their connection - and she shifted closer, her small frame seeming even smaller compared to him.
Kaz knew instantly what to do. It was as if they could share thoughts in some peculiar way. They were more colours and feelings than actual thoughts, but it didn’t matter. He just knew what to do because Inej had found a way to tell him. Kiss me on the forehead, then.
For a moment, he hesitated. It is just a short contact, he said to himself. Normal people do these things all the time. But a part of him kept asking, was it okay for him to do it? Could he, really? He wasn't used to human contact, unless it was during a fight, and this definitely wasn't that kind of situation.
Inej brushed his hand against his. Kaz didn't move, and she slowly entangled her fingers with his, looking at him in an open-heartedly way that made his insides squirm delightfully.
He let himself linger in her warmth, then he mustered all his courage and bent down to kiss her.
The goose was honking so hard now that they could both become deaf at any moment. But Kaz could only hear their hearts beating together while he placed his lips on her forehead. It was the lightest touch, but it sent a shiver in his veins and every part of him was screaming Yes! Yes, it's her, it’s our soulmate! Soon a nauseous feeling crept up in his loins, the waves threatening him again, but it wasn't as bad as he had expected it to be. Maybe, it was still almost fine because Inej was there, her touch and her steady breath so comforting in this madness.
When he pulled back, a sweet smile had formed on Inej's lips, and around them there was, finally, silence. He lingered in her beauty for a while, and it was surprising to see her look at him in a similar way. It was amazing, actually, completely feeling this sweet connection for the first time. Truth be told, she was amazing.
When they went back to the Slat, with Jesper lurking around the hall waiting for them, Kaz was prone to believe that it was all a strange dream given by tiredness. But, even if it turned out to be a dream, it was still the best dream he had ever had.