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Mira did not feel the thrill or the adrenaline as she wrapped up the match. She had several successful invades through the portal to the enemy’s mirrored match, feeding a fragment of their Light to the primeval, restoring it’s lifeforce so that her team could kill their own.
They won, of course, but none of her teammates moved to congratulate her for her effort. No, they gave her a wide berth, no doubt sensing the maelstrom of emotions that she did her best to hide.
“Damn, poster girl, a few weeks out of Crucible and Saint’s little Trials and you come crawling back to me.”
The warlock froze, her glare sliding to the Drifter.
Despite her short stature, whatever was on her face was enough to make him recoil, at least she knew him well enough to know when he was taken aback despite trying to hide it.
“Whoa-kay, someone’s in a bad mood.”
She rolled her eyes and kept walking. “Fuck off.”
Eli grabbed her arm. “Mira, what the hell’s wrong with you right now, and what the hell was that back there?” He leaned in, his voice low in her ear. “I’ve never seen you channel Solar so easily.”
Indeed, she could feel a different kind of heat crawling up her spine as her eyes flicked from his arm to him. It roiled within her, wanting to escape, fueled only by her anger, her confusion, her distrust, but in that last match? She had summoned forward a sword of Solar energy and unleashed herself on the enemy. She could form blocks of heat so tangible she could shove off of them to dash across the field and rain fire down on the other Guardians.
Mira had begged Osiris to teach her, to guide her on how to summon it more effectively, but he had refused. Of course, it had actually been Savathûn, but now something snapped inside of her.
Her friends, her fireteams, gone once again. Far too busy for her. She didn’t blame them, no, but she hated the feeling that had coiled in her stomach at returning to a loneliness she hadn’t endured since after Cayde-6 died, when she had been recruited to help a new Light and a Guardian of legends hunt down his killer. She thought she was fine when they parted ways, when they’d grown too busy for her, but then she met new friends, and even thought she could form something more with the young Titan who had befriended her.
Mira was stupid for thinking she’d have anything like that, like what she had seen of other Guardians she had come across.
She supposed in a way, Eli was right. In the end she came crawling back to him, to this intoxicating thrill she knew was awful for her but it was better than the solitude.
She inhaled. “I’m taking a break.” She drawled. “Guess I’m not welcomed back.” She plastered on a smirk as she tried to pull away, but he held firm with surprising strength.
Eli was sure to leave a mark on her arm, so she summoned up a bit of that solar energy, a warning as her skin began to heat, yet he held on.
“Don’t bullshit me , Mira.” He practically growled the words at her. “You don’t wanna talk, fine, but don’t sit there and pretend everything’s alright.” Then he let go of her arm, giving his hand a shake as if the heat had indeed seeped through the gloves he wore. “Sorry I pushed the wrong button.”
It was her turn to be taken aback. She blinked at him, the only bit of surprise she’d let him see. She remained quiet, her mind searching for the right words. He was about to turn away, return to his living space of the Derelict, when she asked: “How do you do it?” It was an effort to not let her voice crack.
He froze, turning to her. She half wondered if he’d make some cheeky comment about Gambit, or about collecting motes. Instead, he simply gave a shake of his head. “It never gets easier, Mira. People are gonna hurt you if you let them in.” Even me. The silent words hung between them.
Mira knew that. She wasn’t stupid, she knew this song and dance was like poison in her veins and yet she returned when she needed, warmed his bed when she wanted.
“Then you can at least be worth my while and worth the risk.” She said, before brushing past him, towards the bed he kept in the back of the Derelict. Sure enough, his footsteps followed after a few heartbeats.