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Chapter Text

Hikki watched as her older brother Sunny gingerly and quietly took the cinnamon buns out of the burning oven with colourful patchwork mittens on. The scent of cinnamon filled the kitchen, vanilla floating not too far behind as they overtook the whole kitchen. He generously topped each bun with glaze, watching it warm and melt as it touched the bread. Then, when he was done, he had cut one out and plated it, making sure to emphasize its cat-like appearance.
    Hikki  cheered, clapping her hands excitedly as she reached for her plate. Her dark, long hair went everywhere as she jumped, earning a smile from her brother. Sunny grinned as he carefully placed it in front of her, making sure to sneakily pass her her favourite fork (it had a cat painted just under her name in black) before she dug in. It melted in her mouth with each bite, vanilla filling her nose and the glaze covered her hands. Sunny chided her light-heartedly, telling her she’d have to help clean up later with how messy she was being, but Hikki didn’t mind.

When it came to housework Sunny would always overwork himself taking care of all of it, even though he hated doing it just as much as she did. Their parents were always too busy with their work to help out, and Sunny didn’t want Hikki taking it all on. Sunny would sweep, cook, wash the dishes, load the laundry, and mop and vacuum, making sure everything kept spotless. Hikki, who often first made the messes, would do her best to help. It was just the two of them, after all, so she didn’t mind how much work there was to do as long as it lightened the workload her brother had.

“Slow down, Hikki,” Her brother chuckled, reaching out to pat her hair down and away as it got in her food. She had a habit of getting it everywhere, but she’d been too attached to it to cut it. On especially active days, Sunny would braid it so it didn’t get in the way.

“But it’s just so good, Sunny!” She whined, pulling her lips into a frown as she slouched onto the table, cheek on messy, crumb-covered wood, “And if I don’t eat it now, I won’t have the heart to later!”

“Mewo doesn’t mind you eating it, you know?” Sunny laughed, like bells rang and stars twinkled. He had their aforementioned cat’s food bowl, shaking it gently before Mewo came bounding in. Hikki brightened at the sight of her, stretching out her arms as she beckoned the cat, only to be rejected as she darted straight to the food bowl. Sunny had put it on the mat situated in the corner of the kitchen, her teal water bowl a stark contrast to the dark black of her food bowl.

Hikki pouted, but didn’t let it affect her, going back to pouting at her brother instead. Sunny’s back faced her, and she whined aloud and clinked her now empty plate.

    “I will thoooough,” She said, drawing out the ‘o’ in frustration. “If I look at it for too long, I think of Mewo and then I can’t eat it anymore!”

Sunny laughed, again, at his sister’s antics. Turning around, he had picked up her plate and plotted it on the sink with one swift move, as Hikki mourned the cinnamon cat now in her stomach. On the counter, Hikki spotted the remaining rolls packed into clear tupperware, one for each of their friends. Her frown quickly turned and she beamed, her brother packing away the last of the mess he had made on the counter.

“Are we going to have a picnic soon?” She guessed, knowing her brother always made the bulk of the food for their picnics a day ahead. 

“Only if you help clean up,” Her brother said, handing her a damp cloth to clean the table with. Hikki hastily snatched it, cheering and jumping for joy.

When she’d finished up, Sunny shooed her up the stairs to the bathroom, asking her to clean her hair up too and patted her hair down with a damp towel as best he could, but the glaze and crumbs had simply stuck on. He was tall enough that he could just see the top of Hikki’s head under his nose, but getting all of them out was still an issue.

    “It’s like your hair always eats with you,” He joked, earning an eye-roll from Hikki who didn’t think it was that bad. “Or maybe, it’s the other way around.”

    “It’s not!” Hikki said, whining again. She ran up ahead, turning back to poke her tongue out good-naturedly. Sunny simply sighed, shooing her away with a flippant hand as he turned around to leave. 

    Everything was well with the Suzuki siblings. Sunny would go tomorrow to their next-door neighbour and best friends and plan the picnic-

“Mari.”

-Then they’d invite their other best friends with them, Basil and Aubrey always came with after all-

    “Mari…”

    -Everything will be great for tomorrow. She gripped her towel tight and willed it in her mind.

    “I’m sorry Mari…”

    Everything would be ok in this world of purple she’d made.

  ———————————————————————

    Spring’s breeze billowed through the clearing, leaves shaking like a crowd. Hero watched as his brother shakily spoke to the tombstone erected in his memory, sitting criss-crossed with flowers in his lap. The weather was too nice for a visit to such a somber place, filled with memories of those no longer here. It made his skin crawl, and he had half the mind to just leave and come back later.

    But… his brother hadn’t been in a while, he reasons. Everyday before he’d gone to college, he visited with a bouquet in a tightly-clenched hand. Hero could only imagine how hard it must have been, his eyes falling on the logo of his brother’s jersey. 

‘Mellows City College’ It read, in big, bolded letters. A tiger sat dead center of the logo, napping. Sunny and Kel had planned to go there together when they grew up, Kel told him one day. It haunts Hero every time he remembers it.

 So Hero stayed, if only to help give his big brother closure. Because who knows how much he needed that.

Before he could follow that train of thought, Kel stood up tall and shoved his hands into the pockets of his orange jersey (and if Hero caught the glint of a bracelet slip past the sleeve, then Hero wouldn't mention it). Hero watched as his brother trailed his hand on the edges of the stone. He didn't need to see his face to know he was smiling.

    Kel took one last deep breath, gently bumping the stone with a closed fist and then kiss, before turning around to meet Hero’s eyes.

I’m sorry, Hero had wanted to say, but he knew it wouldn’t help. Kel walked back to the gate hunched over lightly, patting Hero on the shoulder as he passed, a wordless request for them to leave.

Hero’s eyes lingered on the tomb, brown eyes boring into the engraving.

Sunny Suzuki

No star shined any brighter

“Hero?” He heard his brother call, voice damper than usual, “You coming?”

Hero took one last look at the grave, feeling peace and pain bite at him with each moment he read the words over. He pursed his lips into a thin line before turning around sharply and sprinting to where his brother was at the gate.

    “Coming!” He called back, not daring to look back anymore than was necessary.

Chapter Text

White space welcomed Hikki with neutrality, like a smile with no joy, as it swallowed her in its light. There was no end as far as she could see, but any attempts to bypass the red hands that guarded the rest of the room only lead to her finding herself where she had first been. Mewo greeted her quietly, napping away at the tissues by her feet.

It was boring in white space, where even Hikki’s pale skin was tan. Her laptop warmed her lap, but only until she’d grow bored of it and put it away. It had nothing of interest in it but her journal, but she already knew what was in there, having written it all herself. It switched and mixed between adventures with her friends in faraway lands and mystical regions and adventures by herself, in the solitude of white space.

The door was still locked and so Hikki was already resigned to staying in white space once again before she heard a distant clatter.

Just a bit east of the darkened lightbulb, Hikki had found a sharp and shining knife sitting, as if patiently, on the floor of white space. She didn’t hesitate to pick it up and tuck it away into her pocket (which would normally rip a dress like hers, but Hikki didn’t question it), turning back to the door. The lock had clicked when she picked up the knife, loud enough in the vacuum of white space for her to hear it so far away.

It loomed gently, casting a dim shadow down on Hikki as she turned the brass knob.

On the other side of the door, Hikki found herself in the kitchen, surrounded by light purple walls and orange counters, guarded by a bright yellow cat looming over the room, its arms hanging down. Sunny stood in his purple sweater vest and white dress shirt, waiting for Hikki. He had his hair combed, parted perfectly as it usually was, and his beige shorts looked freshly washed. On his head, Hikki noticed, was the flower crown she had made him.

“Sunny!” She greeted, running to hug her big brother as tightly as she could. He merely returned the hug, smiling as he steadied them both, his one good eye twinkling.

“Ready to go, Hikki?” Her brother asked as she pulled back from his arms, the old picnic basket right beside him on the counter. It looked a little heavy, but Sunny waved her off good-naturedly when she offered to carry it.

“I can carry it, Hikki, don’t worry. If it gets too heavy, I’ll just ask Kel to help me.” He smiled gently at her, his normally stoic face lifting. Hikki gave a nod, hoping he’d follow through. She wordlessly took her big brother’s free hand in hers, sticking to him just a bit behind, her other hand at her side.

“Are you ready to go Hikki?” Sunny asked again, patting her hair down one last time for good measure.

“Yeah!” She squeezed his hand lightly as she beamed up at him, “I’m ready to go!”

Behind her, the white door clicked, locking itself. If Sunny noticed, he didn’t show it. Instead, he picked up the basket, making one last check before they left. 

“Oh, Wait,” Sunny whispered, bringing Hikki and the basket along to the front, out the kitchen and into the living room. There was a tv that reached up to the ceiling and a couch covered in blankets. In every bookshelf, there was a jar of sunny-side-up eggs on varying shelves.

Hikki frowned a little in worry, but before she could ask what was going on, Sunny came to a stop at the coat hanger by the door. He picked up a beautiful flower crown made with purple and orange pastel flowers and gently placed it on Hikki’s head with a smile. It contrasted with the white dress she wore.

“Here,” Sunny tugged her to the mirror just left of the door, standing beside her with his hands lightly on her shoulders. She smiled in disbelief as she brought a hand up to the crown.

“We have matching crowns!” He laughed, and it was uncruel and soft.

“Kel and I made some like you showed us how to, I wanted to give you one for the one you gave me.” He shifted the crown on her head so it wouldn’t fall, smiling at her warmly in the mirror. She grinned back, turning to her side and tackling him into a hug that he returned.

“We have to go now though, I’m sure we wouldn’t want to keep everyone else waiting,” He said, his face settling back into kind stoicism.

Her brother was always like that, so… gently stoic, like a tree in the middle of a glade. So patient and understanding even if he never said much more than was necessary. It was, however, what made him such a loving big brother.

“Oh you’re right, big brother! Kel probably already misses you too!” She teased, earning a fond huff from her big brother. He picked up the basket he gently laid down, taking her hand in his free one. Hikki’s attention drew back to the basket, watching as the weight of it dug down into her brother’s palm.

“Let me carry it too!” She asked (more demanded than anything), frowning. He shook his head gently, purplish hair sweeping as he did, and kissed the top of her hair. She puffed her cheeks out but knew her brother wouldn’t relent.

“But it looks heavy!” She complained, arms wrapped around him as he tilted the basket away.

“We’ll be late, Hikki. I can carry it.” He shook his arm free and used his free hand to pet her hair back again. Hikki relented, though not without a frown pulling on her face. He was right, but it wasn’t like she would just accept that.

Sunny’s eye crinkled, and a bit of Hikki’s stubborn defiance chipped away. He passed the basket to his other hand, the one closest to Hikki, and wordlessly offered her a spot on the handle.

Hikki lit up, quickly taking the offer with a grin. Sunny could never say no to her, at least not fully.

“Let’s go now, ok?” Sunny asked gently, flipping the lock and twisting the doorknob with Hikki by his side, just a little behind.

In the corner of her eyes, something sunk back into the wall, languid. She turned away from the living room to the front door. It was nothing, she decided, grinning again as Sunny led them through the front door.

They stepped out into the grass bare-footed, and Hikki peered up into the bright, pale-orange sky. Clouds shaped like cars and toys and cinnamon buns drifted on by, far far above them. There was no sun in the sky and not much wind seemed to blow about, but it seemed to be the perfect day for a picnic regardless.

The path ahead of them split, one path heading further into the forest and twisting out of sight. Today, they were heading straight past it instead, as the others had already made their way to the playground.

Teal trees guided the way, looming, but not intimidatingly so.

—————————————————————

When she first spotted the checkered blanket, Hikki hoisted her free hand up high and waved. Sunny’s lips broke out into a small, meek smile as he waved with her, though less excitedly. The first to notice was Basil, who had his signature flower crown tightly secured on his teal hair as he waved back softly; braiding Aubrey’s hair with his other hand. Aubrey noticed next, eyes lighting up as she spotted them from where she sat, hands in her lap as she sat crisscrossed in front of Basil.

“Hikki!” She cheered, earning the attention of Hero —who had been focused on the half-made flower crown in his hands— and Kel —who held the finished example beside him.

Sunny had wordlessly let go of the basket with a widening smile, Hikki taking it with both her hands as she made her way to the blanket. 

“Sunny!” Kel exclaimed, grinning as he got up from the picnic blanket to meet Sunny halfway, passing Hikki as she dropped the basket down on the corner of the blanket.

Kel came running up to Sunny, nearly tackling him down as he held him. Hikki skipped her way over to Hero, who lightheartedly scrunched his nose up at the sight of his brother peppering Sunny’s face in kisses until Sunny was bright red. They sat on the edge of the blanket closest to the heart of the playground.

“They can be so gross,” Hero said, sighing. He had on his matching striped pyjamas and signature hairstyle, though it was messier and more unkempt. Sitting crisscrossed, he leaned onto Hikki’s shoulder with his hands loosely on his lap.

“I think it’s sweet of them to always be so happy with each other!” Basil laughed, both hands now back in Aubrey’s hair as he braided yellow daisies (Hikki thinks they were daisies, though she had a hard time telling) into her long, purplish hair.

“Plus Hero,” Aubrey added, eyeing the way he leaned his head on Hikki’s with a smug grin, “You really can’t talk when you’re like that, can you?”

Hero flushed, hiding his face in his hands. He didn’t move though, so Aubrey huffed proudly, counting it as a win.

“Yeah, Hero!” Hikki added, pulling Hero into her arms properly with her lips parted in fake surprise, “This is a bit embarrassing, isn’t it!”

At that, Hero turned bright red, still not pulling himself away despite the teasing.

“They’re still gross,” Hero concluded, scrunching the bridge of his nose jokingly and turning back to watch Kel pick Sunny up with an arm across his back and the other under his knees like he’d done many times before. Seeing her brother smile and laugh like he did made Hikki smile too. Kel always had a way of making her brother laugh, she thought warmly.

“You’re also gross,” Aubrey added, sticking her tongue out and feigning vomit. 

Before Hero could argue, a click from beside them caught their attention as Basil held out the photo he had just taken. Moving closer, Hikki noticed it was of Kel and her brother smiling wide as Kel spun around with him in his carry. In the foreground, Hero looked about ready to argue with Aubrey again, Hikki laughing just beside him. It was a bit blurry, but considering how much they were spinning, Hikki was impressed Basil even got such a clear photo. 

“That’s pretty clear for how much Kel’s spinning,” She voiced, Basil sheepishly thanking her. Hero took one look at the photo, smiling.

“I think Kel would want to keep that photo, even with how blurry it is,” Hero laughed, not noticing the two making their way back to the blanket.

“Want what?” Kel asked curiously, hand in Sunny’s as they sat down, closer to the corner.

Kel (who was the tallest of all of them) had a multi-coloured, checkered tank-top on, his purplish hair reaching past his chin. His ear-to-ear grin was a stark contrast to the calm of Sunny’s expression, though Hikki thought they simply complimented each other that way. The matching bracelets they had wrapped around their wrists gleamed in the light.

Basil handed Kel the photo— already well aware he wouldn’t ever get it back— with Sunny leaning on Kel’s shoulder and peeking. Not a second later Kel’s face split into a grin.

“Look Sunny,” Kel said, turning as best as he could towards Sunny without letting him fall, holding out the photo as Sunny carefully took it from Kel’s hand.

“I want to see, too!” Aubrey said excitedly, having been unable to see it well from where she was earlier. Sunny quickly tilted the photo to her, watching as she grinned and complemented Basil. Sunny fondly laughed with that quiet, bell-like laugh of his, handing the photo back to Kel for safekeeping, who put it in his pocket and wrapped an arm around Sunny haphazardly. Hikki wondered if it was crumpled already with how much Kel moved about.

“What are we doing today?” Hero asked, tired of watching his brother be all cheesy and gross. He was lying down with his back to Hikki’s side, leaning on her comfortably. Aubrey shot him a teasing look, but he ignored her as best he could (though the flush on his face was obvious).

“Oh!” Basil exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “If it’s alright, can we go to my house? I want to show you guys the little sprouts I planted!”

“Can we bring some food with us?” Aubrey asked, a small frown forming on her face, “I’ve been waiting the whole week for Sunny’s cinnamon cats and I don’t think I can live any longer without them…”

“I don’t see why not!” Basil said, laughing lightly as he tucked his photo album away— disappearing it into the front pocket of his suspenders.

Aubrey lit up, Sunny already handing her the cinnamon cat he’d packed for them all individually. The next went to Kel, who gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek as he took it. Flustered, Sunny handed Hikki and Hero’s both to Hikki— earning fond and disgusted looks from the two respectively— before handing the last one to Basil.

—————————————————————

“Basil, your house isn’t too far, right?” Kel asked cheerily, stuffing the cinnamon cat (which was a cinnamon roll cut in the shape of a cat) into his mouth.

They’d made their way out of the playground quickly after Basil had been held hostage by BOSS, starting a fight that had ended as soon as Hikki had raised her knife.

They (and nearly everyone else in the playground) had been roped into playing hide and seek by Berly after Berly had spotted them on their way to Basil’s house south of the playground. Without much of a choice, Hikki sought out everyone as best she could, finding almost everyone (her friends first and foremost); except for Basil. 

“Not too far!” Basil replied cheerily, a bit behind the rest. Hikki glanced back at him, who, just a minute ago had been a hostage to the tyrannical BOSS. However, he walked calmly, a smile on his face as his eyes caught Hikki’s.

Hikki turned back around, hand in Hero’s as they walked. He was in a heated debate with Aubrey that Hikki had all but tuned out, watching their expressions amusedly.

Ahead of them, Kel walked with an eased posture. He chimed in every now and then, but Hikki would mostly catch him staring at the bracelet wrapped around his wrist with the softest smile she had ever seen on him. She was glad Kel at least had some of her brother with him when they went on such long adventures.

“Just a bit more this way!” Basil cheered, snapping Hikki out of her thoughts and leading them straight when the path forked. Hikki didn’t notice when he’d gotten ahead of them, but Hero did say she had been more distracted as of late.

Aubrey ran up ahead a little, just until she could see Hikki too without Hero in the way, her hair bouncing as she skipped. Her teal dress seemed to flow about in the wind, and Hikki found the flowers in her hair adding to the graceful way she held herself.

“You look pretty today, Aubrey,” Hikki blurted good-naturedly, “You always take good care of your hair! You have to tell me your secret one of these days!”

“You have pretty hair too, Hikki! The prettiest!” Aubrey returned, smiling proudly. Hero nodded beside her, smile turning smug.

“Hikki does have the nicest hair! Softest too, in my opinion!”

It made Hikki feel a little embarrassed to be complimented so much, but she thanked them gratefully nonetheless.

Kel chuckled ahead of them, “It’s nice to see you two getting along!”

Hero and Aubrey quickly looked away from each other, a bit panicked. Kel laughed as Aubrey sped up and walked beside Basil, head still turned away from where he guessed Hero was.

Luckily for the two, they had come up to one of the patches of flowers Basil took care of, sunflowers growing tall and high in the fenced area Basil had them in.

“Basil, what flowers do you have again?” Kel asked curiously, awestruck at how tall the sunflowers were.

“These are sunflowers,” Basil started, picking up the watering can just by the front of the fence. “They’re called that because they always face the sun. That’s how I want to be like… someone who always sees the bright side of things.”

“Do all your flowers mean something, then?” Hero piped up, hand still in Hikki’s as they waited for Basil to finish watering the flowers that had wilted.

“They do! I have one for all of us!” Basil put down the watering can where he’d picked it up, wiping his hands on the front of his suspenders. “I can show you guys! They’re on the way to my house, and I have to water them anyway!” 

“That sounds lovely!” Hikki agreed, curious about what flowers he had to represent everyone. Hero, Aubrey, and even Kel seemed curious too, as they happily agreed to take the detour.

So as Basil led them deeper into the path, he would stop by and point out the fenced flowers, taking time to water them all and explain their meanings.

At their first stop were pure white flowers, all lined up in a row much like the sunflowers were. The stems were slightly curved down, white bell-like flowers softly swaying in the wind. Hikki could almost hear the sound they made, noting how it sounded just like her brother’s laugh.

“These flowers,” He gently lifted the stem, “are called lilies of the valley. It’s said that they are able to ward off evil spirits and help people see a brighter future… I guess that’s why they remind me of Hikki. I can always count on her to stay positive.”

Hero squeezed her hand kindly, a smile on his face, “They do fit Hikki, don’t they?”

Aubrey, though she agreed, found it better to say, “And you call Sunny and Kel cheesy?”

“I wasn’t the one who said it!” Hero sputtered, face flushing red, “Basil did- I was just agreeing!”

“Awww, my baby brother’s growing up,” Kel said teasingly, arms crossed as he made his way to ruffle Hero’s hair.

“I’m not-!”

“You will always be my baby brother to me,” Kel interrupted, knowing well what Hero was about to say, pulling him into a hug. A tear ran down his cheek, but it was anything but sad.

After a moment, they all continued much to Hero’s relief. Hikki knew though, that he didn’t mind Kel’s hugs at all— she saw the way he clung to him for just a minute before he went back to complaining.

Still, as they came to the next stop Hero realized the teasing was not going to let up soon.

“Hero doesn’t remind me of any rose in particular.” Behind Basil, Aubrey shot Hero another teasing look. “I think Hero is like all roses because he’s versatile and universally loved.”

“Quite fitting!” Hikki cheered, scoring a blush from Hero as he leaned on her shoulder a little more. 

“Why do I get teased for saying that and not Hikki,” he grumbled, but there was no ill-intent in the way his brows furrowed.

“Because Hikki doesn’t try to make fun of Kel and Sunny, you hypocrite.” Aubrey grinned innocently, closed eyes like crescents.

Before he could be further harassed, as Hero would say, Basil brought them all to the next patch of fenced-in flowers. These stood not too tall, but proudly, all shades of pink and red and magenta.

“These are a type of flower called the gladiolus, also known as the ‘sword flower’,” Basil looked to Aubrey, eyes soft, “As you might guess, they represent the strength of character. Someone honest, with strong moral values… someone who stands by their convictions… The gladiolus reminds me of Aubrey because she’s always true to herself.”

Aubrey blushed a little, but her smile never wavered. She happily thanked Basil, humming in joy as they made their way to the next… flower?

“I can explain,” Basil said, laughing lightly. Kel could feel the incoming jab.

“Cacti are very sturdy and resilient plants by nature. They don’t need much care and can survive even in seemingly impossible conditions.” Basil’s bright eyes meet Kel’s, and he holds back his laughter, “I guess what I’m saying is… is that even you could take care of a cactus, Kel.”

Kel lets out an exasperated sigh, though he’s not upset one bit. Aubrey laughs loudly, infecting Hero as he hides his face in Hikki’s hair. Hikki giggles, relenting that yes, it was a little funny . 

Kel let them have their moment, finding himself chuckling too when Hero turns almost as purple as his hair from how hard he had been holding it in.

When they’d all gathered themselves enough, Basil brought them to the last patch at the end of the front garden.

Humble, pure-white flowers stood, lined in rows. If the lily of the valley reminded Hikki of her brother’s laugh, these flowers reminded Hikki of him in his entirety.

“And these,” Basil said, watering the flowers with care, “These are white Tulips.”

A tender smile washed over Kel as he crouched to look at one up close. Hikki felt like she was almost intruding on them— Sunny and Kel— again, feeling as though she walked into the room too early and found them whispering to each other.

“Tulips aren’t very flashy plants. They’re not too big or too small, not too elaborate or flamboyant. If I could put it either way… I guess I would say that… they’re comfortable, simple, modest, and perfect. Just like Sunny,” Basil explained, watching Kel gently tap the plant.

Hikki felt her heart warm, surrounded by her friends in the memory of her brother. She wished Sunny was here, then it would have been perfect.

But Sunny was- 

“Hey, Basil?” Hero asked, turning to the path they were on. At the end of it, a single pot seemed to shine under the light.

Hikki paled, her lungs filled with cement.

“Hmm?” Basil hummed, turning with a smile to—

His watering can drops and so does his smile, the world seems a bit darker to Hikki.

“T-That-“ Basil stammered, horrified, melting, “ That’s not supposed to be here— ”

A white egret orchid stood tall and still. My thoughts will follow you into your dreams.

Chapter Text

When Hikki had been booted back into white space, the first thing she did was grimace. She stood awkwardly at the heart of white space unmoving as the air until she forced herself, with gritted teeth, to look around her. She moved slowly, awkwardly, hearing her heartbeat in her ears.

A memory (one she didn’t want) played— Basil’s hand in hers, pictures lay on the floor. He said something she didn’t catch— something she didn’t want to hear. It led her back with a flash of black to white space, all alone.

The door didn’t exist anymore, leaving her with only Mewo — who was sleeping away— and her laptop. She dropped down to check both, first Mewo, who simply stared at her (eyes blank, now) expectantly.

Waiting for something to happen? She seemed to say, meowing humbly before purring herself back to sleep. Her dark fur dulled in the light (or was it the dark?) of the lightbulb, rising and falling with every breath she took.

She sat down on the cold floor, pulling the laptop onto her lap. Booting it up showed nothing new, the same brick background staring back at her. Disappointed as she was, the laptop had warmed her lap, providing solace in the cold, still air of white space.

Something weighed down her pocket, pulling it lightly. She reached a hand in, feeling plastic and cold metal, and pulled it out. Her reflection stared back at her in the shine of the knife— cold, unfeeling, and so still.

She filled her lungs hungrily, before swinging the knife in, making a sickening noise in the silence.

Hikki crumpled forward, hands still as she fell.

Mewo slept quietly as white space disappeared, purring and breathing as the scent of metal filled the room.

—————————————————————

Mari woke up with only the moon for light. It filtered in through the curtains, contrasting the dark of Mari’s room. She curled into herself, her long hair collecting in her elbows as she wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them flush to her chest.

Mari’s room , the thought made her ill with confusion. From the thick cloud of secrecy in her mind, she pulled only a vague answer muddled in thick, black, ink.

Her room was… too big, for her alone; a desk sat not too far away from her, an old brick landline phone and computer collecting dust. Beside it, a shelf of books Mari knows every word to, all well-loved on their scratched bookshelf. In the dark, she wouldn’t be able to read any of them. The only window stood above her nightstand to her right, revealing the boxes littering the too-big room.

The stillness of the air beckoned her from her bed cruelly and she found no way around it as her stomach growled. A light beeped, red and bright, from the landline phone. She tapped the button with the symbol of the receiver, listening to the message as she read the sticky notes left on her wall between the nightstand and desk.

Static cut through the atmosphere before she heard the voice of her mom.

“Hey, Mari, it’s Mommy.” Mari nodded blankly, instinctively— as if she could see. “I’m still in the city setting things up for our new home. Did you finish packing yet?”

Mari winced, air hissing as it passed through her teeth. She turned around to the boxes on the floor, and then back to the phone.

“The movers are going to be at our house in a few days, so I left a list of things for you to do before they arrive.

“Also, sorry! Mommy messed up! I forgot to tell the electric company that we need a few extra days before we’re ready to move, so the lights might cut out sometime tonight,” Her mom sheepishly admitted.

Pulling on the lamplight wire, Mari confirmed that the electricity had cut out a day early, leaving Mari in the dark. She tuned her mom’s voice out, focusing on the bright notes instead.

‘Hi, Mari! This is a note from Mommy. I left some food for you in the fridge downstairs. It’s steak… your favourite!’ It read, the pink of the note glaring into Mari’s eyes.

Mari scrunched her face, expression far from delighted as she turned away sharply, focusing back on the sound of her mother’s voice through the phone. She wrung her hands uncomfortably, stomach aching. She hugged her sweater vest for comfort, soft and just a bit too big for her— old and fraying at the edges from wear over the years. It held her grounded as she tuned back into her mother’s voice.

“…Hero has been trying to get a hold of you ever since we put our house up for sale.” Her mother paused, gave a breath; a shaking sigh. “He’s been calling us every week for the past few months! He seems a little lonely…Maybe you should visit him.”

Mari thought of Hero— purplish hair and striped pyjamas on the checkered picnic blanket. Her lips pursed into a thin line, want and desperation overtaking her before unnameable guilt came and crushed her whole. She would think about it, she decided, when she was less hungry.

“Ok, that’s it for now! Mommy loves you! Bye, Honey!” Her mother said, a gentle click following her, fading into silence with her voice.

The world was pin-drop quiet, so Mari turned tail and walked out of the room.

—————————————————————

If she had any food in her stomach, she would’ve thrown up. Each step down the stairs had been exhausting for her as she clung onto the railings for dear life. It wasn’t the height that made her nauseous, however, but the idea of tripping— of something breaking at the bottom of the stairs and cracking— stirred a fear in her that she just couldn’t control all that well.

But now, as she stood in the quiet kitchen, Mari breathed shakily until she felt calm once more. The microwave hummed and buzzed, spinning and warming the cold steak her mom had left her.

Mari— barely tall enough to see the top of the microwave— watched diligently, if impatiently, as she tapped the counter to the rhythm of a metronome. She heard a tick and a tock repeat with each second passed, finger falling with every tick and tock that passed. Her stomach growled louder.

Mari wondered what her friends would think if they could see her now— eating lukewarm steak by herself, barefoot on cold floors and hair tangled. Would Aubrey be upset she didn’t go through with their promise? That she dyed her long hair pink while Mari didn’t even have the guts to take care of it anymore? Maybe Hero would chastise her for not taking care of her hair … or herself, in general. She was paler now, even more so now than before— would Hero notice that too?

Thinking of Hero left her heart fluttering in her chest but crushed her with a pang of guilt she did not know was there. She thought of Hero and Aubrey, as they were, as they will always be in her dreams, and looked at herself in the reflection of the steak knife she had in her hand.

She wondered, with a thorn of pain throbbing somewhere in her lungs, if Kel would still be as he had always been. If he was, then Hero would easily be moving right along, far ahead of her. Far—

She’s pulled abruptly from her thoughts, her stomach growling and her plate empty. Bile rises in her throat, coating it in sick as pushes herself out of her chair. She had to get to the bathroom, even though everything was spinning and flipping and it was hard to see straight.

The climb up the stairs was quick, too panicked to waste any time at all as momentary courage kept her running even as something ghosted over her feet. She burst through the door of the bathroom, avoiding the mirror before she dropped to her knees with her head dipped down just above the bowl of the toilet.

It was a horrid rush that poured out of her mouth, her stomach emptying into the clear water of the bowl.

It took her a minute to recover, hands wrapped around herself as she sat away from the toilet. The water rushed, filling the silence, before gradually calming.

She heaved a breath, tasting vomit coating her mouth and throat, forcing her to stand up and rinse her mouth out, feeling the water wash the inside of her cheeks.

When she was finished, she kept her dark eyes down to the faucet. The mirror, big enough to fit two, taunted her even though she couldn’t see it. Why only one? It seemed to ask her, pushing buttons not even she knew were there.

That was when a knock rang through the house, loud and almost desperate. She turned her back to the mirror, relieved and still tense, and ran out of the bathroom.

The light of the sky, blood-red and dark, washed over her. Mari felt her heart stop as the stairs stretched far downwards underneath her. Black, void-like tendrils wriggled and squirmed down to the haze— she couldn’t see the last step, it was so far down— and coated the wallpaper. She wanted to turn back, feet frozen in fear, but the knocking grew more desperate with each passing second.

It was then she noticed the knife still in her hand shining back at her. What choice do I have? She thought miserably. Everything was swarming her here, the dark creeping up with every hesitant step she took— until something met her halfway.

She felt herself breathe sharply, adrenaline coursing through her cold blood as she stumbled back onto the steps. She swung the knife weakly, watching it go through something’s grin.

‘Mari… ’ It seemed to say, barely reaching her as she tried to hack away at it. Ink wrapped around her ankles, pulling her down.

“Go away!” She yelled shakily, trying to push herself up as best she could. Tears ran down her face, spit flying as she screamed.

‘ Take a deep breath… it’s not as scary as you think…’ It continued, voice faraway.

She shut her eyes and slapped her hands over her ears, dropping her steak knife with a clatter and focusing on the beat of her heart as the voice— as something — gently guided her out of her panic.

‘ It’ll be ok, Mari… just calm down…’ The ink pulled away from her feet as her breathing steadied.

She pulled her arms around her once she felt everything fall back into place, clinging onto her old sweater vest for comfort. A sob wracked her body, shoulders shaking as she broke down in the quiet at the bottom of the stairs.

The knocking had stopped; silence, familiar and empty, surrounded her peacefully. She felt terribly alone.

It was a hard walk back to her bed— her bed, pushed up to the back wall squeezed in between the closet and night-table, comfortable and soft— before she promptly crashed, face-first, into the sheets.

As she drifted off, she wondered who it could have been knocking on the door. She felt her stomach twist at the thought.

As she drifted off, she felt a faint warmth on her hair. She could have sworn the silence felt nicer.

—————————————————————

Hikki’s eyes met with the ceiling of White Space, opening suddenly as the feeling of the cold floor registered on her skin. She sat up slowly, hair falling into place as she looked around her.

Mewo was sleeping again, curled into herself.

‘Good Kitty’ she remembered someone saying hazily. If she focused on it, she could see loving, dark eyes much too similar to hers. She looked away from Mewo sadly.

The tissue box sat on the farthest corner of her plot, opposite the laptop. Hikki turned around, sitting crisscrossed as she pulled the laptop into her lap. The screen came to a blank, but it wasn’t really blank. Empty spaces lined the bottom, keyboard letter keys with descriptions of places side by side. Some of them were so preposterous that Hikki felt more amused than confused.

A sound brought her away from the screen, something falling not too far from where she was.

The laptop left her lap warm as she stood, making her way over to the only dot of colour in the room.

Picking it up, she found herself staring back at the light-orange sky of headspace; blank, unnamed landmarks surrounding the vast forest where she and her friends played.

A map , Hikki Realized, lips pulling into a smile, a map of headspace.

The click of the white door behind her brought her back to the heart of white space. It gently loomed over her.

When she walked through this time, Sunny held her close and tight as the door locked behind her. She hugged him back with a grin; just as tightly.