Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

INTRO: Soulmark 

At 18 Pran remembers clearly staring at the tattoo on his collarbone, it was no where near as obnoxious as he expected it to be. On the contrary, it was pretty.

Pran doesn't get all the hype over soulmates or soulmarks to be honest. If there really was someone out there that you were destined to meet, how comes most soulmates never meet. His parents were living examples of how you could live and fall in love without ever meeting your soulmate.

However, regardless of what he thought everyone was completely enamoured with the idea of it. Pat, his 'enemy' (also the guy he may or may not be crushing on) and the next door neighbours kid (that his parents hated) couldn't wait to get his soulmark.

Pran hated hearing him ramble on about it.

"Don't you even for a second wonder what it will look like?" Pat spoke his eyes twinkling with curiosity.

Nope. He wasn't even the slightest bit interested.

Pran knew whatever it was it wouldn't be pretty, afterall your soulmark was a reflection of you printed on another person. And Pran knew if his tattoo reflected what he felt deep down inside it wouldn't at all be pretty.

But Pat went on and on about how if Ink was his soulmate his soulmark was bound to be the most beautiful thing.

Ink was a recent addition to their friendship group, she had joined mid way through the year and already had a lot of guys crushing on her. She was pretty, albeit bit too clumsy but in an indearing way and she was easy to get along with. It was virtually impossible not to like her.

"If ink and I were to be soulmate, do you think her soulmark would contrast too much against, you know my cool guy vibe" 

Pran just laughed but what else could he do, he couldn't even stop himself from letting a bitter tone slide in. Pat was so ablivious in all the wrong ways, but Pran wasn't allowed to get mad hell he wasn't even allowed to be bitter afterall he never said how he felt. Pat was allowed to like Ink and he was allowed to talk about it but even so Pran didn't like to hear about it.

Ink was perfect in every way, and he gets that. Honestly if he could he'd probably like her to, and Pat was right her soulmark was surely going to be just as pretty and perfect as she was.

"How would you even know, are you going to ask her to show you"

That was Pran's biggest issue with the whole soulmate thing they could live right next door to you and you wouldn't even know. A tattoo tells you so much about a person but also so little. 

So Pran never expected much from his 18th birthday, sure he'd wake up with a soulmark but everything else would stay the same. His parents would wish him happy birthday, his friends would make it their mission to embarrass him and Pat... Pat would tease him relentlessly and probably demand to see his soulmark. 

However, Pran never thought at 4am on his 18th birthday he'd be sstaring in the mirror at his soulmark absolutely mesmerised. There were tiny black birds scattered across his collar only stopping at the end of each collarbone. They looked so dainty, so small almost fragile like they'd die at any moment. For a second Pran wondered who his soulmate was, for a second he hoped that these birds belonged to Pat and nobody else. Choking on that though Pran span around refusing to look at the mark scattered across his chest.

'As long as it doesn't belong to a girl you'll be fine' 

Pran reminded himself, getting in his hopes up would only end bad. Plus what was the point Pran could hope all he wanted but he'd still probably never meet the person that it belonged to.

Needless to say he was completely right about the rest of the day especially Pat.

"Ah come on Pran show me, I really wanna see" Pat groaned draping himself over Pran's back his arms reaching round his neck grazing dangerously close to his mark.

"Pat" Pran said sharply leaving no room for argument, but Pat isn't the type to back down easy.

"Come on, why won't you let me see it" Pat said pitifully laying his head on Pran shoulder as his hands played with the hem of his shirt.

Pran abruptly span around pushing Pat off.

"Why do you even care, it isn't a big deal!" Pran yelled annoyed with all of Pat's questions.

Or maybe he was annoyed because the reality of the situation was that it wasn't going to be Pat's soulmark. That in the end it probably belongs to some random person he'd never meet.

"Sorry, I'm just curious you're the first to get one out of all of us" Pat said apologetically he clearly didn't intend to over step.

Unfortunately Pat wasn't lying, out of their whole friendship group Pran was the oldest followed by Pat who was 1 week younger.

Sighing softly Pat moved around Pran and plopped himself down on top of the bench that they were currently working on.

"It's fine, my soulmark just isn't anything be excited over" Pran responded truthfully, he'd never be able to get excited over it like Pat did. In his eyes having a soulmark completely spoiled all of his chances, even if he never had any to begin with.

A week later, Pat was in the same situation as Pran was. Everyone was asking about his soulmark but unlike Pran he didn't avoid the questions, he answered them and gushed about how pretty it was. He even showed Pran what it looked like (this was of course done by seeking into his room in the evening.)

"It's pretty right" Pat said staring straight at Pran as they sat on his bed crossed legged facing each other. Pat's school shirt was half open exposing the left side of his chest and in any of scenario Pran would have been flustered and unable to look. However, Pat's soulmark stole all of his attention it was a caged bird. The strangest thing to Pran was that the cage was open and although the bird was surrounded by flowers and greenery outside it seemed to refuse to fly away. To leave the cage it was trapped in.

"It's kind of sad though" Pat spoke softly now staring down at his soulmark.

"Umm" Pran agreed but he was too lost in his thoughts to respond with words, apart of him wanted to believe that maybe Pat was his soulmate. Their tattoo's were way too similar to be a coincidence, but Pran knew better so what if they both had similar soulmarks for all he knows Ink could have to same. Anyone could.

"I wonder who it is?" Pat questioned, his face scrunching up in thought.

"Do you not think it belongs to Ink" Pran replied raising his eyebrow at Pat.

All he got in response was a shrug.

"You're the only person that's seen it so far, and I don't think it matches Ink" Pat said after thinking for a while.

The first sentence made Pran's breath hitch. He was the first person Pat showed his soulmark to, without knowing he let a small smile slip onto his face.

"Wanna show me yours now" Pat teased leaning in with a smirk on his face.

"In your dreams, leave i have homework to finish" Pran pushed his face away and headed over to his desk.

That was the last time Pat entered his room.

Pran had never been a stranger to fate. It tears you apart and then brings you back together.

...

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Fresh Start?

Pran never really pictured himself coming back home, especially with all the drama that went down. He never thought his parents would even considering letting him come back.

So to be standing in the room he left behind just more than a year ago was surreal. Nothing had change or moved everything stayed the same, just as he had left it.

Letting out a soft hum Pran gazed around the room as he headed over to his desk. Pulling out the chair and sitting down Pran stared at the now blank wall that used to be filled with pictures. Pictures of his friends (of course excluding Pat, he wasn't desperate to get caught) and everything else in-between. 

Pran continued to stare off blankly as his thoughts wondered off; 

The memory was as clear as day in his mind, his mother storming into his room furiously after the Christmas concert tearing down everything in her path. He remembers the rage that came over her once her eyes landed on the wall of pictures, the sound of tearing and her angry shouts.

"This is the reason why your grades have been dropping, wasting time with that delinquent child and playing that stupid guitar"

In reality his grades hadn't dropped he just wasn't doing as well as she was expecting him to do. Nothing was ever good enough for his mom and Pran knew that. He was struggling to keep up with class and extracurricular activities, that and he was constantly nervous over everything he could hardly focus. Yet his all wasn't enough for her.

All he could do in the moment was cry, 0to the point he was choking on his tears.

"Show me your soulmark" 

As soon as that order left her mouth Pran froze, he hadn't showed anyone it. On his 18th birthday his parents never asked to see it and he refused to show anyone who asked including Pat.

"No..." his voice completely shaking.

"Don't tell me that boy is your soulmate!"

Pran froze, Pat wasn't his soulmate and for the first time he was glad. In all of his hopeless wishing he had failed to remember that even if Pat was his soulmate, the reality of it was that their parents hated each other. And them having each others soulmark wouldn't change that.

All he could do in the face of his mother's rage was cry.

"Honey, let's talk about this"

Pran thinks that's his dad's voice but he's not sure anymore. He feels dizzy and sick, to the point he doesn't even try to pry her hands off his shirt.

Only once she saw his mark did she calm down.

Pran shook himself out of his thoughts and scoffed before turning his gaze to the draw on the left side of his desk. Hesitating for a brief moment before pulling it open. A small smile crawled onto his face as he gently picked up a small black watch. 

"Here take it" A young Pat spoke pushing the watch into Pran's small hands.

"Huh," He said looking into Pat's deep brown eyes.

"You dropped it earlier" Pat said before pushing himself up off of Pran's bed and heading back out the window he came.

Pran let out a small chuckle remembering how stubborn and standoffish Pat was when they were younger.

For a split second Pran wonders if Pat is still the same as he was before he left, free-spirited and kind or did he change. Pran even wonders if he ever found his soulmate, the person that his soulmark belongs to.

'Thoughts like this are dangerous' Pran reminded himself, afterall they never got him anywhere in the past.

"Pran do you have everything?" His mom yelled from the downstairs.

Pran abruptly dropped the watch in his hand and quickly looked up at the door, letting out a shaky sigh when he registered the location of the voice. Relief washed over his body.

"Yeah, coming." Pran responded before bending down to pick up the watch.

'Don't take it with you, stop holding on' Pran's inner voice echoed in his head, and he knew it was right, holding onto him after all these years wasn't doing him any justice. Being sent away was his chance to forget to move on and burn those thoughts.

But regardless of what the voice in his head was telling him Pran slid the watch into his pocket and left.

"Isn't this better being able to study whilst being close to home at the same time" Pran's mom spoke cheerfully before pointing out some of the buildings on campus.

Pran knew what she was doing, he was well aware of what that sentence really translated to.

'Pran although I have allowed you to come back home that doesn't mean you are able to do as you please' 

"Umm" Pran just hummed in response glancing out the window aimlessly.

"Do you know what dorm Wai is in?" She questioned turning round in her seat to ask him.

'Wai' Pran thought. He was one of the few people his mother agreed of, he was from a pretty good family, pretty polite and always complimented her food.

Wai and Pran met In the boarding school his mother sent him to, he was kind to Pran when everyone else was hostile. Wai made Pran feel at home In the very place that wasn't anywhere close.

Even despite their closeness and the fact that they shared the same room, Pran never showed Wai his soulmark. However, Wai had been more than eager to show him his; it was huge and covered the entirety of his back. It was a wolf cub bearing its teeth, it was cute and Wai joked that his soulmate wasn't as tough as they must look.

Hearing Wai speak so fondly and enthusiastically about his soulmark made Pran feel jealous, because he'd never feel the same about his.

"We're not in the same dorm building but I don't think his is too far away" Pran responded still looking out the window blankly.

"Well that's still good if you get into any trouble you can always look for him" she flashed one last smile before turning around.

After a tearful goodbye and Pran reminding his parents (mom in particular) that he was only an hour away he was finally left with some peace and quiet.

Throwing himself down on the couch Pran looked around his new bare apartment and let out a deep breath. So much unpacking need to be done, add onto that being in a new location with mostly all new people was freaking Pran out.

Being forced to leave his old highschool and move to another one made him realise his fear of change. Pran realised he likes, in fact thrived off familiarity.

Willing himself to take a deep breath and count to 10, Pran allowed his eyes to slowly shut. Today was draining he constantly felt as if he was drowning, being around his mom made him feel as if he was suffocating. Eventhough he loves her dearly she was too much sometimes, all the time really.

RING, RING, RING

Pran's eyes shot open and darted to the table infront of him where his phone laid.

"Umm" Pran answered lazily as he picked up the phone and put it on loud speaker.

"Have you arrived yet?" Wai's voice echoed from the phone.

"Yeah, I still have unpacking to do though" Pran responded lazily glancing at all the unpacked boxes.

"Well later tonight we're all going for a drink, you should come too" Wai said as Pran dragged himself off the sofa and heading over to tackle, in his opinion the most important room in the apartment. His bedroom.

"I'd rather not, too busy" Pran replied before he remembered to grab his phone and take it with him.

"Come on Pran we're all going to have a couple drinks, watch the football and celebrate our first year of university" Wai spoke excitedly almost as if he was trying to pass on his excitement to Pran.

"Really not in the mood Wai; how about I treat everyone to lunch tomorrow" Pran said coming up with a quick compromise, after all he knew Wai wouldn't give in if he didn't.

"Okay fine you escape this time Pran but next time I'll drag you If I have to" Wai yelled and Pran let out a soft laugh in response before exchanging goodbyes.

As soon as the phone disconnected Pran started to open the boxes around his room and began to pack away all his stuff in their designated areas. Until one box was left, it was small and unlabelled and Pran knew exactly what is was. Tearing off the tap and pulling the box open Pran pulled out a note book. 

Pran is well aware of what he's doing, what fresh start could he hope for when he was still holding on. But no matter how much he willed his heart Pran couldn't let go of Pat. Slowly opening the book to the middle page Pran's eyes fell across.

HESITATION

Written all in bold letters. Pran looked down at it helplessly, even afterall these years he was still hesitating. Letting out a shaky breath Pran forced himself to breathe. In and out. 

Tossing the book into one of his bedside draws Pran stood up and left to deal with rest of the apartment.

...

'I want to be your soulmate, even if I don’t believe in them.'

Colleen Hoover

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Somethings Never Change

RING!RING!RING!

Pran awoke to the loud rings of his alarm clock, groaning in annoyance he flipped over shutting it off quickly.

Theoretical speaking Pran knew he should be excited for his first day of university however, right now he wanted nothing more than to melt into his bed and disappear from the world.

Unfortunately that obviously wasn't an option, so Pran had no other choice than to throw off his duvet and stumble his way over to the bathroom to get ready.

Staring in the mirror as he brushed his teeth Pran considered all the logical and non-logical possibilities of things that could possibly go wrong today. A habit that he was well aware wasn't healthy but it was the only thing that helped calm the constant nerves that he felt. It gave him control or at least a small amount.

Spitting out the remaining toothpaste in his mouth Pran pondered; he only had one introductory class in the morning which meant he was free for the rest of the day, which would give him the chance to prep in advance for the rest of the week. So in short he was  more in control today than he'd be for the rest of the week.

Smiling at that thought, Pran quickly finished washing his face and turned off the tap before gently patting his face dry with a towel.

He lazily ran his hand through his hair before exiting the bathroom. Once he reentered his bedroom he quickly opened his closet and pulled out his clothes for the day. All neatly selected and ironed the night before despite how tired he was.

As he was removing his shirt Pran's eyes grazed passed the soulmark on his collarbone. The more the years went on the more that Pran couldn't stand to look at it. It reminded him of the worst year of his life. Turning 18 wasn't at all like they made it seem, for Pran it was horrible. it wasn't at all like they portrayed it in the movies or books, he didn't meet his soulmate, fall in love and live happily ever after.

Quickly buttoning up his freshly ironed shirt, Pran turned his gaze from the mirror and pulled on his pants. Before leaving his room Pran grabbed his phone and earphones that were left on his bedside table charging.

As Pran made his way over to the kitchen he checked through all the notifications on his phone, seeing 1 miss call and two texts from his mom he sighed turning off his phone and placing it on the kitchen counter along with his earphones.

She was doing it again, no matter how well meant it was she was suffocating him. Treating him as if he was a child and couldn't make his own decision, he didn't need her to check in on him constantly. It always made him feel as if he was doing something wrong.

Scoffing Pran shook his head before quickly making himself breakfast.

***

Once Pran had finished eating he grabbed all of his stuff and neatly placed all of them into his bag.

'I should probably call her back' Pran though half-heartedly, talking to his mom was probably the last thing he wanted to do right now.

Picking up his phone Pran reluctantly called his mother.

"Ah Pran I tried calling last night did you go to bed early?" an enthusiastic voice rang from the other side of his phone.

"Umm I was tired from unpacking" Pran replied throwing his bag over his shoulder and heading out his apartment.

"Of course you should make sure that you rest well and not tire yourself out" she said softly.

"I will, yesterday was just alo-" Pran was abruptly cut off before he could finish. 

"Ah Pran I have to go but I'll call you later, you don't have class right" his mom said hurriedly.

"oh that's fine and I don-" Before Pran could even finish his sentence the line went dead.

Pran let out a helpless laugh as he stepped into the elevator, even in all her busyness she still found time to answer his call. It was moments like this where a small part of him thought she was doing it out of care rather than to be controlling, but Pran knew better he had already learnt his lesson.

Leaving his only class of the day Pran decided to head over to the library to prepare for his other classes of the week instead of heading back to his dorm room. However, Wai was quick to stop him in his tracks.

"Pran we're going to get something to eat, are you coming" Wai asked letting out a tired yawn.

"No, I have to work on stuff you guys can go ahead" Pran responded already having planned out his day in the morning.

"What do you mean we've just started what do you have to work on" Louis jumped in quickly backing up Wai.

"Exactly, first drinks and now lunch do you not like us anymore" Safe was the next one to back Wai up.

"Too lazy, remember I'm buying you idiots dinner"

With just one word Pran shut down all of their complaint and was able to head to the library in peace.

***

It had only been an hour and a half, almost two since Pran had arrived at the library and all he had managed to get done was half a sketch. For some reason he was struggling to concentrate, giving up Pran laid his head down on the table lazily. Picking up his phone he scrolled through his Instagram feed without interest before the loud buzz of his phone literally shook him up.

"Pran, you have to come now! the engineers are picking a fight" Safe's voice rang out from the phone slightly catching Pran off guard.

"What do you mean the engineers are picking a fight?" Pran questioned but he was already packing away all of his colouring pencils.

"Pran, NOW!" Safe yelled before cutting the line.

Stuffing his things in his bag Pran cursed Safe, the idiot didn't even tell him where to go but luckily he had a couple of ideas of where they could be.

Turning up at the scene of the fight Pran was surprised to say the least. 

A mess of both architecture and engineering student throwing punches left and right, Pran was almost at a loss of what to do.

But after thinking for less than a second Pran's obvious response was to defend his friends. However, the last person he expected to come face to face with when he threw a punch was Pat.

Eventhough his face contorted in pain Pat was still as handsome as Pran remembered.

Stumbling back slightly Pat turned his face to the side and spat out blood before turning his gaze to Pran. A look of surprise washed over his face and for a second Pran could swear he felt sparks fly when they locked eyes.

Nothing had changed Pat was still the same and obviously the same applied for Prans feelings, his heart still thumped just as hard as it did years ago.

"Pran" Pat mumbled out as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

Pran paused for a second; what was he meant to do everything in his body was telling him not to hit Pat again. Before Pran could even decide what to do a whistle rang out silencing the crowd and bringing it to a halt.

"Shit, run!" one of Pat's friends yelled out before grabbing his hand and trying to pull him away, but he didn't seem to move. He stayed rooted in spot staring directly at Pran.

Pran didn't know what to do so all he did was stare back. Stare back at the boy he had been pinning over for years, who he still is pinning over. Pat ruined him and didn't even realise.

"Pran, we have to go!" Wai shouted grabbing Pran's hand and trying to pull him away. Giving in he allowed himself to be dragged away, to break eye contact with those sparkling brown eyes. Pran used to think those eyes held the stars, he still does.

"So wanna tell me how you assholes got into that mess" Pran questioned before harshly pressing a piece of wet cotton onto Wai's cut temple.

Wai hissed at the contact before defending himself.

"Assholes?, those assholes started it first!"

"Umm we are completely innocent here Pran" Safe chimed in nodding his head furiously.

Pran scoffed giving Wai's temple one last harsh push before removing the cotton. He knew his friends well enough by now, they were argumentative. Safe and Louis essentially followed Wai's orders so he knew they wouldn't start a fight without being told to. 

Eventhough he didn't know them as well as they all knew each other, he had been around them long enough to know the group dynamic. When he had met Wai in the boarding school Safe and Louis came with him; at first they were a bit hostile to Pran but eventually warmed up to him.

"Pran all you know how to do is blame us atleast listen to the full story " Louis said letting out a curse as he held a cold drink up to his bruised cheek.

Wai took that as his cue to rely the story that led up to today. It basically began at the bar last night when Wai and Pat's respective groups got into an argument over football which led to 'words' being exchanged.

And as Pran expected the story did nothing for their case, they were still just as guilty. 

Letting out a sigh Pran reminded them,

"This is university not highschool fighting isn't the answer to all of your problems, the consequences here are serious"

"Then they should know not to pick fights, Pran we're defending the honor of everyone in the architecture department!" Wai said completely breezing passed Pran's words like they were air.

Not bothered to argue any further Pran shook his head, they could do as they pleased he didn't care, as long as they didn't expect him to clean up after them. Pran wanted to leave that in highschool.

Once Pran finally got back to his dorm he plopped down on his couch and threw his head back over the edge.

"1,2,3" Pran counted in his head slowly all the way up to ten.

Today was...

Bad at the very least, but give him a couple seconds in his head and he could make it go from bad to absolutely devastating.

Everything that could go wrong went wrong.

Pran could feel the tears prickle at the sides of his eyes trying desperately to break through.

'You're not gonna cry Pran you are stronger than this' Pran chanted in his head but that proved futile as the tears flowed freely down his face. He huffed bringing his hands up to wipe furiously at them. 

Pran had no idea why he was crying but If he had to take a guess he say it had alot to do with Pat's appearance.

Not that he was at all surprised to see him in the sense that Pat posted all over his Instagram (Pran is not a stalker Pat just sometimes occasionally happens to pop up on his timeline) that he would be attending here. It was more so to do with all the feeling that came with seeing him. As much as he'd like to deny it Pran still likes him, just as much as he did all those years ago.

He hopes that he wasn't the only one that felt that, he hopes that Pat felt the same and that he wasn't just imagining the whole thing.

Staring down at his collarbone Pran was swiftly brought back down to earth. It didn't matter if Pat felt what he did. Pat was obsessed with the idea of meeting his soulmate and that wasn't him.

"I recognized you instantly. All of our lives flashed through my mind in a split second. I felt a pull so strongly towards you that I almost couldn’t stop it."

- J. Sterling