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I.
Touya was a man of few words. Well, a few words until it involved Akito.
Akito. Akito. Akito, Akito, Akito.
Akito was the definition of comfort. Of familiarity. Of reliability. Touya knew he could trust Akito with anything. Even if it was to let him hold his heart in his hands, Touya knew that Akito would take care of it.
But even those words weren't enough. There was just so, so much more that he had to say about Akito, but he just couldn't. He couldn't come up with more words. He just didn't know enough words that he could string together that would be able to describe him properly.
All Touya did know was the calm in his heart when Akito was around. When they stood together. When they sang together. Whether back-to-back or side-by-side.
The only problem was when they stood face-to-face. When the only thing they could look at was each other.
Maybe it was because they were dancing or singing. And maybe they were out of breath. Or maybe it was because it was just the two of them, focusing on each other.
His heart would feel like it was swelling, wanting to burst into a million little pieces. Though, it would be a million pieces that Akito would help him pick up and piece together.
How frustrating.
It still wasn't enough words.
-
II.
She was like a star. Not one like Tsukasa wanted to be, but a star in the sense that you never want to stop looking at her, watching her, or taking in her beauty.
She didn't call to be the center of attention. Most of the time, he wouldn't even notice this aura, but the moment he did; the moment he stopped and looked at her, he was captivated.
When she was on stage, he hated to look away. If Akito was one he could count on to always be there, An was one who could leave the group and still thrive. A terrible thought to have, he knew that. But the way she carried herself… head up, shoulders back, eyes knowing. When he was performing by her side, it was almost like she amplified his own abilities by tenfold.
She was passionate, hard working, and talented—no she was skilled. Touya could see the time she put into music. What she did and how she did it could never amount to mere talent. Everything about her was pure and unadulterated skill.
And that in itself was captivating.
-
III.
Touya was staring. A lot. He knew that much at least. But, for some unknown reason, he couldn't really find a good reason to stop. So he just continued to. Even if this would lead to a mountain of teasing from other parties (specifically Akito and An who were slacking off next to them), he just really, really wanted to look at Kohane.
The way her eyebrows furrowed when she encountered a difficult problem in her homework. Her eyes sparkling as she figured out a solution moments before she started scribbling down on her paper. She would take a sip of her sugary drink and her eyes would soften once more, focusing on her homework again.
It was cute. So, so cute. Almost illegally cute. In all honesty, it probably was a crime to be that cute.
Was there ever a moment where she wasn't cute?
The fire in her eyes when she sees people performing on the street. Her cheeks pink after a performance, a smile plastered on her face. The absolute adoration on her face when she sees something cute (almost like cute²).
"Um… Aoyagi-kun? You've been sitting like that for a while. Did you need help with a question? I-I mean you probably don't need my help but—"
Now, Touya was an honest guy. A pretty cool dude™ one would say. Hell, even Akito and An (probably even Kohane) would say he was as such. But for some reason, his heart wanted him to lie to Kohane. The nerve of him, honestly. Lie to basically the reincarnate of an angel that was sitting in front of him. Was he crazy? He would be throwing out every single moral he's ever accumulated in his life.
And yet he still decided to do it. What an idiot.
"Actually... I did need some help." He stood up, bringing his notebook up to her. This didn't escape Akito and An's ears, who were now both complaining that the subject was a lost cause if Touya didn't understand it. Kohane's eyes lit up, smiling as she explained the problem to him.
"Did that… make sense?" Her voice got quieter all of a sudden. Her cheeks were flushed slightly as she glanced at him shyly.
Honestly, he didn't even listen to her explanation, but wasn't that expression just unfair?
He put on his best acting face, opening his mouth as if he just had an epiphany. "It was really helpful. Your method of doing it is much easier than what we were taught, Azusawa." He flashed her a smile before going back to his seat.
He felt like he should be feeling guilty for lying to her (twice), but her smile seemed to erase every sin that was buried deep within his heart.
Supposedly.
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IV.
He never hated the quiet.
It was just never his best friend. It was the treatment his dad gave him when he was upset about something, the clinking of utensils hitting dishes ringing throughout the room. It was something he experienced all his life. Even if it's quiet, there's still sound, but that sound is always so empty.
His only escape was music, so of course he came to prefer noise over none.
So, of course, he never hated it. He never had a reason to, anyways. But, in the same way, he never really loved it either. Since he had no reason to. He was always very neutral about it. But that changed, and very quickly at that.
It used to be just him. Just him and his surroundings of complete and utter nothingness.
But now, sometimes when it's just one of them. It's just him, just Akito, just Kohane, or just An. But it's not lonely.
There's the annoying ping his phone makes when Akito and An are arguing in the group chat again while Kohane is trying to mediate it. There's memories and there's laughs. And there's arguments. And there's something behind that noise.
And the empty silence is no more.
Sometimes it's just two of them. They sit together in silence. A silent agreement. No words needed to be exchanged with each other. Basking in each others' presence, recharging. It's the comfort of communication without words. It's calming. It's peaceful.
It's nice. He wishes to stay like that forever.
And at times all of them are together. They're studying. Or they're brainstorming their next performance. Or maybe enjoying their drinks.
It's a strange feeling, Touya thinks. His heart feels so full, so satisfied from nothing at all. Though, usually it's louder. So much louder. The words are screamed out loud instead of being locked behind a text. He doesn't mind that. Even in a world of silence, they are his sound.
He doesn't mind that at all.
He thinks he could grow to love this sort of thing.
-
+
Touya sat at the table, eyes browsing the windows of the stores that stood across from the shop he was in. A pet shop, a clothes shop, even a place that sells accessories upon accessories. It hadn't been the first time he was there, of course, he'd been here dozens of times with the others.
"Here's your order, sir." The waitress placed a cup of coffee in front of him. He thanked her, taking a sip of his drink as he continued looking out the window.
"I'M HERE!" Tsukasa barged into the little cafe, eyes scanning the place. As soon as he found Touya, he sat down in front of him.
Touya greeted him. "Hard day, Tsukasa-senpai?" He laughed softly, passing over the menu.
"Ughh… Rui planned a part of the show where Emu has to tackle me. And we've been practicing it all week. So, basically I feel like I'm about to die." He groaned, head resting on the table. He held displeasure in his face. "Maybe if she knew how to control her strength it'd be fine. She doesn't though."
Even through his complaints, Touya could hear the slightest bit of affection in his voice. "Tsukasa-senpai, how did you end up dating three other people anyways?"
"First of all, I may complain a lot, but it's definitely not like I don't like them. Second of all, it was never like I knew I was going to fall for three people. It just… happened." Tsukasa tapped his finger to his chin, in deep thought. "Well, y'know, Touya, I always regarded myself as a complete person, I never had any 'missing pieces' like the dramas or mangas talk about. It's just those three ended up giving me something more to life than I already knew. You know what I mean?"
He nodded. Touya understood what Tsukasa had meant. Akito gave him capability, Kohane gave him comfort, and An gave him confidence. Together, his heart was filled to its brim with happiness. Even if they weren't performing, he would like to stay by their side for as long as possible.
"I just found that sometimes my eyes would look for them, and when I saw their faces I became inexplicably happier. Sometimes I'd see something random and go: 'Oh, that's something Emu would like,' 'Hey, that reminds me of Rui,' or even 'Nene would do something like that.' Suddenly, my head was only filled with them."
Touya understood that too. He would think about them randomly. He would often look for them, even when he knew there was no one else around. In fact, when he was waiting here all he could think about was—
Oh.
Touya visibly paled at his realization. He held his hand up to his cheek, checking his temperature. His face was heating up slightly.
Oh.
He really could only force out an awkward laugh. "Tsukasa-senpai, I think I might be in trouble."
He was in love, wasn't he?
With three other people.