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Chapter Text

What Makes You Beautiful

Day 1: Cronk and Zephyr

The first week was easy all things considered.

In her heart, she knew her father was doing something good—something amazing—for the universe. He was gone, yes, but with the task the strange Lombax had entrusted to him, he had good reason to skedaddle (as Cronk always said). Emperor Tachyon was a brand-new name in the galaxy, though more than a few planets were already sinking into his empire. Max Apogee had to be quicker, smarter, and craftier than that 'no-good Craggymite' trying to wipe out Polaris' old allies.

It filled her with pride. Every night, Talwyn would lay in bed in her room, teddy bear in hand and eyes staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on the ceiling. She would fall asleep to the thoughts of her father with the Lombax Secret under one arm and a blaster in the other, shooting bandits and pirates and other evildoers that dared to try and steal the great weapon away from him.

Max Apogee was a hero. With the Lombax Secret put away, Tachyon was bound to fall, and the galaxy would finally see how amazing Max was, just like Talwyn always saw him as.

Then, the first week turned into a month.

Something wormed into Talwyn's chest at that time. It was painful, sharp and jagged, and tears bubbled in her eyes every time she thought of her father. Her breathing would come close to stopping, and while the six-year-old had no experience with it, the sensation felt like someone was holding her at the throat and choking her slowly.

But it was okay! Her father had to make sure that the Lombax Secret was safe! When she brought it up to Zephyr, that's exactly what the old robot had said. Max Apogee had to make sure that the Lombax Secret would stay out of Tachyon's grubby little hands. It had to take some time! That was just the natural thing to do.

Talwyn's father was still a hero, but he had to take extra time to be one.

It was hard, even with the things Cronk and Zephyr told her. Talwyn still fell asleep at night with pride in her chest, but it was tainted, poisoned with a sadness that she couldn't shake away. Nightmares full of horrible fates her father could have met with kept her up almost every night.

But her father was a hero! That was more than enough to reason the nightmares away when they came to her, and once he came back and Tachyon was defeated, the whole galaxy would see that Max Apogee was great. It was just taking longer than she expected.

Then, the first month turned into six months.

With each passing month, it got harder to do pretty much anything. The toys Talwyn owned failed to distract her in any way. There were times where she would sit and stare blankly at the toys, the choking sadness overtaking her throat and chest, and couldn't summon energy to even pick them up. Nausea was a constant. Any food Cronk and Zephyr tried to get her to eat was nibbled at or turned away completely, and Talwyn felt lighter and 'bone-ier' as the months crept on.

Tachyon grew more powerful over those months. Planets fell like dominoes, screams of oppressed people rising from smoking planet surfaces shown over every holovision channel in the galaxy. Talwyn saw it happen from late nights of peering around the living room's open door. Cronk and Zephyr would get mad, swear vengeance on Tachyon and his rule, sit worriedly at the edge of their seats, and, sometimes, cry into each other's arms.

During one of those days, the stories Cronk and Zephyr told her changed.

Max was going to be back soon. They knew it in their old endoskeletons, and the endoskeletons were never wrong. One day soon, he would walk back into the station with the biggest smile on his face, several souvenirs from his adventures, and swing Talwyn into his arms and give her the biggest, strongest, longest hug of her life. Tachyon's empire would fall; the galactic defense force would make the final push and topple over the empire and end the 'cockamammy whoopla' once and for all.

It would be any day. Any day, and Max would walk right through the front door of the station and make everything go back to normal.

The six months turned to one year. Then, two years. Three. Four.

And when the sixth year finally came, on the day when Max had left the station with the Lombax Secret in his ship and a solemn promise to return as soon as he could, Talwyn knew the stories and assurances Cronk and Zephyr kept telling her wouldn't work on her anymore.

They were inside the kitchen. That much Talwyn knew. But what they were doing, she could only guess. If she looked around the doorframe, she risked getting caught.

It wasn't like she didn't already know the upcoming discussion between them.

"Cronk…"

"I know, Zeph, I know. Today's the day." Clatters rose from the space station's kitchen. Cronk was the one that had always been better at cooking. "We could make her the extra-cheesy fettuccini? Miss Talwyn really loves that recipe. Maybe that'll get her appetite goin again?"

Talwyn stood, just outside the door of the kitchen. The twelve-year-old slowed her breath, making sure any air entering her lungs wasn't audible. The right side of her head pressed against the wall, soaking the cool temperature of the surface.

Zephyr's voice, so tired and lost and frayed with sorrow, answered back Cronk's question. "No… no, Cronk, she's… You know how it is. The poor girl doesn't- hasn't, pardon the mistake, had her father here in years. We've seen this kinda thing with our buddies before. Every time they reach the anniversary of their loss, they just can't do anything."

"Yeah… Yeah, you're right."

"I mean, remember Crampelter? The poor bot lost his fighting partner in the trenches and every single March afterward, the ole fella spent the whole month walkin' around in a trance."

A mimicked sigh left Cronk, and the clattering sound of a pot being placed gently on the counter reached Talwyn's ears. "What are we gunna do, Zeph?"

Zephyr matched the mimicked sigh, and the crumpling sounds of paper echoed from the kitchen. He was partial to using pen and paper instead of a data pad; the old warbot always said he preferred the 'hard copy' to whatever 'hip new thing the youngins were throwing around these days.' "Alright, listen. I looked up a bunch of stuff on how to deal with depression in children-"

"But Miss Talwyn's nearly a teenager, Zeph! Wouldn't it make more sense to look up stuff on dealing with a teenager?"

"Gah! Cronk, she's still a child! Twelve isn't in the teenage years, you dern fool!"

"But it's a pre-teen, you old coger! That's closer to the prime whippersnapper age, the age where all those youngins get hooked on being angry and rebelling against their parents! What about that age range, huh?"

Something about their arguing pulled a sharp line of pain up in Talwyn's chest. Her throat tightened up yet again, now for the sixth time in two hours, and the Markazian felt tears line the corners of her eyes as she worked up the courage to step into the kitchen.

She had to stop them. She was the only one who usually stopped their nonsense arguments, and while this argument felt more purposeful, Talwyn hoped that this one would be just as similar as the others-

"No, no… Cronk. We can't fight. Not like this. Not today." Zephyr's voice was so tired, Talwyn didn't understand why the old warbot hadn't gone to go take a nap. "…I… I might have looked up how to deal with depression in teenagers along with the childcare stuff. To cover all our bases."

Cronk stayed silent for a long moment, then spoke. "Then what's the plan?"

Their loud joints creaked and squeaked, signaling their movement. Without looking, Talwyn could already picture the two warbots bent over the kitchen's island, spreading the small papers over the granite countertops they worked so hard to take care of.

"Alright, here's what we got to keep in mind, especially for today. The first thing this one site recommends is to stay patient. Miss Talwyn's going to have her emotions goin' wild, so we're gunna have to take it all in stride. It's gunna be deeper than the usual sadness we see in her. She might be crying one minute, then irrationally mad the next. We can't take it personally, and we have to stay patient for her sake."

Cronk's voice, sharp and firm, followed. "Understood."

"Yeah, well, you better, ya old kook. I won't be able to remind you if Miss Talwyn's in front of us." Zephyr paused, then mimicked clearing his throat. "Okay, okay… next thing we oughta be careful of…"

Shame poured over the little Markazian. Her eyes squeezed shut, and heat rose to her cheeks while anger at herself burned a bonfire in her heart. Why did she have to be this way? Why did she have to cause even more trouble for Cronk and Zephyr when they were doing so much to take care of her already? What if they left too because of-

"Now, Miss Talwyn might show signs of being very self-critical. 'S the next thing the site brought up. We've seen her blame herself for her ol pops' disappearance before, but we need to be extra careful today."

"We gotta do the reassurances thing, right?"

"Yes, we gotta reassure her when those stints happen. We both know Max wouldn'ta left if he had the chance to stay with her. We have to let her know that and make sure she's reassured. Like what we did with that old Lombax… oh, what was his name?"

"Ol 'What's-His-Face'?"

"Oh! Old What's-His-Face, yes! And we would always tell him that it wasn't because he was a bad dad, but because he had to spend so much time at work with the war effort and his wife couldn't see that."

"Oh, what a real piece of work she had been! Never seen such a crazed loon of her caliber."

"We both know how I feel about that durn woman who took a vacation in the middle of the Great War, so we can go back to the topic at hand."

The memories of their rants about 'What's-His-Face's wife turned the edges of Talwyn's mouth upward. She couldn't repeat what they said, partly because the amount of 'hooligan's and 'daft muppet's would have her sent for a timeout for all the 'foul language,' as Cronk always claimed.

"We just gotta be patient, Cronk." Zephyr's voice took on the tone he had whenever he was teaching Talwyn something new. "Like with What's-His-Face. Like… with each other…"

Cronk stayed quiet.

After a beat, Zephyr muttered something unintelligible. "Alright, alright… next thing on the list…"

"Uh oh. Uh, Zeph?"

"What?"

A moment of silence passed, and Talwyn felt strangely exposed.

"Ah… well…"

Cronk's voice carried around the side of the kitchen's entrance. "We see ya, you lil whippersnapper. You can come out from where yer hidin'."

Talwyn stalled, biting the loose skin on her bottom lip. Her feet made no move to walk forward, and a small part of her wanted to pretend that they weren't talking to her, that maybe they hadn't-

"Miss Talwyn!" Zephyr's firmer voice sounded out. "In here, on the double, missy! Now."

Slowly, the little twelve-year-old poked her head around the corner. Even with the soft beanie covering her head and the massive hoodie covering her body, Talwyn felt exposed, like Cronk and Zephyr could see exactly what was going on in her mind just by looking at her. She took a few steps forward, entering the kitchen and stepping over to where Cronk and Zephyr stood at the kitchen's island.

Without asking, Cronk lifted her onto the kitchen's island in the old way he used to when she was a smaller child. Talwyn's tail immediately curled close to her body, and the little Markazian lifted her knees to her chest. Zephyr came around from the opposite end of the island and stood next to Cronk.

All three of them stared at each other, and Talwyn could tell from the robots' pained expressions that they didn't want to address the thing that was all on their minds.

In the end, it was Cronk who took the first leap.

"Miss Talwyn, you don't have to hide from us, you know," the warbot murmured. "We weren't takin' up the kitchen when you needed it, were we?"

Blue eyes stayed locked to the side. "No, you guys weren't."

Awkward silence filled the space between them yet again. The kitchen, generally spotless except for the several pots and pans near one of the stoves, stayed calm and collected from the three confused people within it.

"Ahh, I can't take this anymore." Cronk shook his head, pressing his three fingers to the side of it. After a moment of rubbing, he drew his right arm back down and laced his fingers together. "Miss Talwyn… there's something we need to talk about with you."

Red metal nudged him in the ribs. "Cronk!"

"Come on, Zeph, we can't keep lyin to her like this! She's only a little girl!"

"You could at least be more delicate about it, ye darn fool!"

"Guys!" Talwyn threw out her hands, trying to stop the argument from spiraling out of control. "It's okay… It's okay…"

Shame colored both of their expressions. The previous annoyance that had been on their faces melted away, and Zephyr was quick to change the topic.

"Sorry, Miss Talwyn," he began, twirling his hand in a circular motion. "This is… something we've been discussing for a while now, and while Cronk and I have been preparing for this… well, I guess we were never really ready for the day to come."

He looked to Cronk, and the other robot took it from there.

"Right, my turn…" With a gentle touch, Cronk laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was hesitant, like if the metal of his fingers touched the fabric of her hoodie, she would shatter into a million pieces. "Well… we… we all know what today is. We… well, we…"

His head looked to Zephyr, and the red robot took it from there.

"What were tryin' to say, little Miss Talwyn, we're… aware that today is the day your father left the station all those years ago." A sheepish expression crossed Zephyr's face. "But, you know, it's okay! Your old pops' 'll be back in a year's time, don't you worry about it! There's no way he would go on past seven years! Why, this reminds me of the first time he ever fixed Cronk and me, and-"

Talwyn couldn't take it anymore. "Cronk. Zephyr."

Both of them paused and looked directly at her.

"I really want to know the truth." Her voice wavered, warbling and faint at some sounds. "Please. I want you to be honest with me. The truth and only the truth."

It hurt. It stung, but it was the thing that had kept her up at night for so many years, it was holding her back from ever moving forward. It was the one thing that held her by the throat and always had a phantom hand on her back.

Talwyn looked up to both of them, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "He isn't coming back… is he?"

She expected them to start fawning all over her. She expected the same stories, the same ones they kept telling her when it was the hardest for her to keep going. She expected even a minor chuckle, or something that would lead into a lecture about how Max Apogee was definitely going to come back one day soon.

Instead, Zephyr gave a shudder, and instantly Cronk's arm was wrapped around him.

"Truthfully, Miss Talwyn…" Zephyr's words were just as shaky as Talwyn's had been, and oil beaded at the corners of his blue optical visor "-me and Cronk don't know… We don't know if your father's ever going to make it back."

And that was the final crack in the façade they had all been keeping up over the years.

"Me and Cronk… we've never been in this kind of situation before, at least, not one that had a happy ending." The warbot sniffled, pushing a metal hand to wipe at his eyes. "We've been waiting along with you, kiddo, and we just don't know the answer. We don't know if he's still out there hiding the secret, or if he's been dead for years and we're just fooling ourselves into thinking we can have a happy ending. Me and Cronk have been trying to get updates, but no one knows anything about where he went. And while he's been gone, that darn Cragmite Tachyon's been on the rise for so long, and he's gained so much power over the last couple of years. It's just like… Oh gods, it's like it was right before the Great War started…" More shudders and tears left the red warbot. "It's the same with the people screaming out in terror, the same people being targeted and killed, the same people just like Max who were captured and tortured and used for information and nothing else… Oh, Orvus, what if that's where Max is…?"

A familiar look slipped into the robot's body language, and immediately, both Talwyn and Cronk touched Zephyr to steady him in the present.

"It's alright, Zeph," Cronk murmured. "Wherever your mind is goin to, you're not there. You're here, safe and sound in the Apogee Space Station's kitchen. See, we got Miss Talwyn in front of you, just like she always is."

"They couldn't do anything, Cronk. The Cragmite's had 'em chained to the walls for weeks and the sight of 'em after so long without food…"

Talwyn rubbed her thumb gently over Zephyr's arm, watching as he fought his brain to return to the present. "Yeah, Cronk's right. I'm right here, Zephyr. Nothing bad's going to happen, because what happened then isn't happening right now."

Zephyr trembled. Even with knowing how long a possible PTSD episode could take, it was clear the robot was desperately trying to force it down and get back to the subject at hand.

It took several more minutes of reassuring Zephyr that he was in the present moment and that they were all safe and sound in the station. Both Cronk and Talwyn kept their voices level, softly rubbing on Zephyr's metal plating while he fought through it all.

By the time Zephyr had stabilized a little in his emotions, he buried his head against Cronk's chest and went silent.

With a sad, mimicked sigh, Cronk turned his attention back to Talwyn. "We really wish we could tell you the answers, little missy. That's what we're supposed to do as your caretakers: have all the answers you need to be the best little miss you can be. But in all honesty, we've been scared that your father has long-since kicked the can. Tachyon's been terrorizing the galaxy, dragging good people back into the pre-War days, and even if we did know the slightest about your father, we don't know where your father fits into all of it."

All the air left Talwyn's chest. Her head hung and her eyes stared blankly at the floor, all while Zephyr's soft cries grew less controlled.

"We… Zeph and I don't have hope that your father's going to come back," Cronk finished. "Haven't had that hope for over the past year. We've been keeping it up for your sake, but we knew that it would only go on for so long before you lost hope too…"

The only sounds that echoed in the kitchen were Zephyr's low sobs.

This was it. The answer she had been looking for. It had been the truth and only the truth from the ones that knew the most about her father's current whereabouts. They both had looked her in the eye and told her what they knew.

Some part of her wished for something different. They had been telling her for so long that he would come back; how was now any different than all the other times?

Max Apogee wasn't coming back.

Her father wasn't coming back.

All the air left Talwyn, and the little Markazian choked on spit and the air around her as tears ran streaks down her rounded cheeks.

Cronk's right arm scooped around her, pulling her close, and Zephyr's left arm wrapped around the other side of her. Both robots pulled her into a tight hug, but with the shaking the two warbots did, Talwyn knew without looking that Cronk and Zephyr were also crying with her.

He was gone. At least, there was a very high chance that he was, and each second she spent wrapped in her caretakers' arms was another moment the realization piercing her chest sank in deeper.

They were there for a while. Minutes dragged on, and the longer Talwyn stayed wrapped up, the more she thought she would never be able to leave their arms without shattering apart the moment they let go of her.

During one of those moments, in between Cronk trying to be everyone's emotional support and Zephyr trying and failing to keep it together, a thought entered Talwyn's mind.

Max Apogee wasn't coming back. But that didn't mean that he was dead and gone. Just… missing.

The sadness that had been locked inside the Markazian's chest vanished, and a new, fiery, intense hope replaced it. Ideas and plans flooded her mind. She needed resources, education, and support. She'd need a ship of her own, a whole map of the universe, and at least one clue as to where her father might have been seen last.

If Max Apogee wasn't coming back, that didn't mean she couldn't set out to find him.

"Miss Talwyn… are you feelin' better? We know that this isn't an easy subject, and we don't want you to hold it in or not mourn-"

"I'm gunna find him," she stated. Her head lifted, and Cronk's surprised face looked back at her. "If he won't come back to us, then I'll bring him back."

"WHAT?"

Zephyr backed away just as Cronk did. He waved his hands, cupping his head under his fingers. "Miss Talwyn, it's not that we doubt you, but it's not safe out there! You're only a little girl, and with Tachyon on the loose, there's… well-"

"I'll do whatever it takes. No matter if it takes years before I start."

Cronk stepped in, worry and concern matching Zephyr's. "Listen, we know how hard it is to mourn someone you've lost. We'll get through this together-"

"No." Talwyn felt something steel in her chest, and with her back straight and determination in her eyes, she looked at the two robots that helped raise her for most of her years. "He's out there still. If he was captured by Tachyon, then Tachyon would have made it known that he had the Lombax Secret. But he isn't, which might mean he's still out there in hiding. And I'll do whatever it takes to find him."

"But you don't have enough education to go looking for him! What if he's been hiding on a far-off planet that hasn't been found by the Polaris galaxy's government yet?"

"Then I'll learn everything I can."

Zephyr stepped in, tucking his hands against his hips. "And what about driving your own ship, missy? We're not teaching you to drive tomorrow!"

Talwyn glared at them, slapping her hands against the granite. "Then I'll wait until I'm old enough! I'll do whatever it takes, from now until I die, to find my father and bring him back!"

Everyone was silent.

The Markazian's lip trembled and her eyes watered for a second round of tears, but the girl pushed down the sadness and steadied her voice. "I know it's a lot. But I wanna do it. I can't live my life knowing that he might be out there in hiding, alive, without me knowing." She took in a shaky breath. "I don't need you to approve of it. I just want you guys to help me get there."

Cronk and Zephyr paused, their facial expressions running through a full range of different emotions, before slumping their shoulders and looking to the little Markazian.

Talwyn could tell that her asking that was a lot for them. If they lost her, they would lose yet another person in their already loss-ridden lives, and that wasn't counting the backdrop of Tachyon raining oppression onto the planets they had fought so hard to save. Talwyn could die to anything while looking for her father…

But if she didn't do it, she'd never forgive herself.

After a beat of silence, Zephyr mimicked a sigh. "…Alright. We'll… I'll help you in your mission, Miss Talwyn."

"You can count me in too there, Zeph!" Cronk straightened. "We've survived when the odds were against us a million times before, and this time's no different! If Miss Talwyn wants to find her father, then by golly, we'll help her make it happen!" He turned back to the little girl and gave her a proper salute. "Chief Admiral Cronk, at your service, Miss Talwyn!"

When Talwyn looked to Zephyr, she found the red warbot making the same pose, albeit with much more worry in it than Cronk's. "Lieutenant Commander Zephyr, also at your service!"

With their support in her plan, Talwyn felt just a little more confident in her idea. Sure, it would take a while before she really set off. Tachyon was a force that couldn't be taken lightly. And that wasn't counting the time it would take for her to learn about all the species in the galaxy that her father would be hiding with, all the archeological information she had to take in to follow his footsteps, and of course, learning all about the Lombaxes and where they would possibly want her father to hide their greatest invention…

For the first time in over a year, a genuine smile, spreading from ear-to-ear, covered Talwyn's face.

It was going to be a nearly impossible journey. Without a clue on where he went, Talwyn could probably spend the rest of her natural life looking for her father.

But she wasn't doing it alone, and that was what matter most.

"Thank you, guys." Tears, happier ones that bubbled up with the love in her heart, dripped down her still-wet cheeks. "Thank you. And I'm gunna find him. I'm gunna bring him back."

It wasn't a moment later that the two warbots were hugging her again.

"We know, Miss Tawlyn. We'll be with you for all of it, every step of the way. We promise."

The first week had been easy all things considered.

Dealing with the aftermath of the Prog twins and getting everything straightened out in only a week was something absolutely no one had seen before from the Polaris Defense Force. Talwyn had commanded everyone to the places they were needed most, and handled damages with frightening efficiency. On the day after the invasion, she had been on the frontlines in cleaning up rubble and organizing building contractors with the respective owners. Seven days later, and she had still been going at it, but with unwashed hair and dark circles around her eyes.

They all knew why. Even Ratchet and Clank, who were helping just as much as the other PDF workers were, couldn't get Talwyn to stop working, to keep looking for distractions. She moved on auto-pilot, working so hard there were two separate occasions where she collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

But it had to end at some point. And once the work was done, all Talwyn had left was the reality of her situation.

Now, two weeks after Cronk and Zephyr were killed, she had to come to terms with their deaths.

The funeral hall was decorated with lilies and other flowers that signified the beauty of funerals. Dim lights brightened up the coffins she had chosen for them, and the hall was devoid of people or activity.

The memorial service was scheduled to happen the next morning, but Talwyn wanted a private moment to say goodbye.

She slipped into the medium-sized room, wincing at the unnerving silence that hung over the coffins. Loss weighed down her heart, choking up her throat in the same way it used to whenever she had been young and the subject of her father's whereabouts came up. Every step was agony.

Gods above, how could she go on in life without them?

"Hey, guys… Are… Are you there?"

The coffins stayed silent.

A dry laugh left Talwyn as she squeezed the two slim bouquets of flowers in her hands. "I… guess I should have expected that," she murmured. "After all, it's not like you guys are just gunna pop out of your coffins."

They stayed silent.

Her jaw trembled, and the pain sliced deeper into her until she was sure she wasn't breathing.

Slowly, Talwyn stepped over to the black coffin, Zephyr's, and placed the bouquet of red flowers over the coffin's smooth surface. Her hand trembled, and she found herself struggling to swallow. When she moved over to the white coffin, Cronk's, she placed the specially-ordered blue flowers onto the top of his coffin with too much force.

By the time she took a step back, the trembling in her hands had spread to her whole body.

Silence kept her company. Every passing minute took a toll on the Markazian, and the courage she tried to drag up kept disappearing almost as fast as it took to find it. Memories flooded her head and held her in the past.

They promised they would be with her every step of the way. But that wasn't possible. It didn't work like that. Every creature had to die at some point. Everyone dealt with this kind of loss in their lives.

This, though, was the first time she had real confirmation that her loved ones were dead and gone.

"I had a whole thing planned out," she started. Her voice pitched high, and there was nothing she could do to stop the tears from running down her cheeks and splashing onto her shirt. "Ratchet even helped me, you know." A gulp of air. "He told me that I should do the things you usually do at a funeral, you know? Tell everyone about the good times you had with the people you lost, all the qualities they had that you're never going to forget, or some special words that really capture everything about your lost loved ones…"

The coffins stayed silent.

Sobs forced her blue eyes shut. "I'm the Captain of the Polaris Defense Force. Everyone looks up to me and needs me to be strong so they can have someone to lean on in their darkest times. Every time there's a moment of loss in their lives, I have to be the one they can rely on."

The room was quiet.

"I've gotten so many reports from those under me telling me how amazed they are at how strong I've been without you guys. How I haven't let my personal issues get in the way of my work and how the galaxy is indebted to a woman like me…" A louder sob, one that echoed around the room and reverberated off the walls, filled the space. "I have been holding it together. I've been pushing down every single emotion I've had for the past two weeks because you guys not being here is the most painful thing that's ever happened to me."

Her eyes stayed locked on the ground as silence still hovered over the coffins. "Everyone expects me to be strong," she forced out. "Everyone expects me to act like this doesn't affect me, but do you know what I really want to do?"

Silence.

Her fingernails dug into the palm of her hands, and her entire body trembled as the Markazian sank to the floor. Blue eyes stayed tightly shut, but the tears didn't stop coming, and the soft sobs fluctuated from being barely audible to filling up the whole room.

She was so angry. She was tired. She was sad and miserable and furious with rage and in denial and everything in the grey spaces between emotions. No matter what she did to try and stop the breakdown from happening, it only served to make it stronger tenfold, and Talwyn held on as the largest wave of despair she had ever felt in her life washed over her and left her gasping for air.

All the while, the coffins that were meant to represent Cronk and Zephyr stayed completely silent.

Cronk and Zephyr weren't coming back. Her father figures weren't coming back. And this time, the universe made sure she knew it.

It was when her body drew in on herself that she felt something.

When her arms crossed tightly over her chest, two phantom feelings settled over her shoulders. Talwyn paused in her crying, looking up to see if Ratchet or Clank was there to get her back to the funeral hall's main entrance.

Nobody was there. The weights on her shoulders felt barely there, but there was no one behind her or in the room she was in.

Blue eyes lined with red flicked back to the coffins.

Silent.

Her breathing hiccupped, and she held herself together. No, they were gone. They weren't coming back. There was nothing she could do now that would ever bring Cronk and Zephyr back.

As her body tried to calm itself, the weights at her shoulders spread down her arms. It felt like she was in a public transit, with irritating feelings of being touched and crowded by people in a tight space. The feeling was irking for a split moment before it melted into something more comfortable.

It felt exactly like the hugs Cronk and Zephyr would give her when they both wanted to hug her at the same time.

Gasps, heavy and short, fell from her mouth as the sobs started up again. This time, her arms left her chest to move away from her body. She made the space for the arms that had wrapped around her a thousand times before.

And as she sobbed into what felt so much like her caretakers' arms, something that she couldn't tell if it was a vivid memory or an auditory hallucination, echoed in her ear.

We'll be with you for all of it, every step of the way. We promise.

Chapter Text

What Makes You Beautiful

Day 2: Research

Talwyn was usually fine with the title of 'history nerd.'

Her father had been one, and it was clear the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree when it came to her. History was one subject she loved to sink deep into. It was something to focus her attention on and discover all the little nooks and crannies the past had hidden away. The number of secrets that had passed under peoples' noses and the rich, intricate cultures that inhabited the universe always kept Talwyn coming back for more.

It was painfully obvious she had way too much knowledge over the Lombaxian culture and species. One could say that learning to read Lombaxian when the species was currently deserted from the dimension was an over-achievement. Some would say dating the first guy, who just so happened to be a Lombax, that broke into her house and helping him take down the dictator that caused the Lombax species' downfall was going above and beyond.

Most would definitely agree that geeking out about new Lombaxian data that her Lombax boyfriend found in another dimension to the point where she hadn't showered in days was… concerning.

So, for the moment, 'history nerd' was a flimsy word people used to deter her from her unending curiosity on the new information Ratchet and Rivet had uncovered.

Instead of taking pride in the title, she only used it to double down on her work out of spite.

Blue eyes scoured the data pads. The black yoga pants and top she had on had been specially picked out for the long haul; her flowy shirt stayed away from the more delicate artifacts. Plastic gloves overlaid hands that treated the data pads and Lorbs with a delicacy learned from countless hours of education.

The fact that Gary had entrusted the data pads to her was a miracle in-and-of-itself, and that wasn't counting the Lorbs and the valuable information they held. Everything in Talwyn's current possession had been given to her out of trust… and because she was the closest Lombax scholar that threw herself at the opportunity the first chance she got.

Also, because neither Rivet nor Ratchet had the training or patience for gauging the deeper workings of their species. They were excited to meet the Lombaxes, of course, but listening to Lorbs for thirteen hours to determine if the Lombaxes operated under an oligarchy, a monarchy, or a parliamentary system was not something they wanted to do.

(And maybe because she had threatened to steal the Dimensionator and go to the Lombax Dimension herself if they didn't let her at least look at the Lorbs. It had been a joke, partly, but her eagerness and her willingness to solve their questions on their species had been enough to convince the Lombaxes and little robots to let her study what they found.)

The things she found… oh, the things she found…

A gentle clatter came from her right, but Talwyn didn't look up from the ancient data pad she was examining. "Lunchtime, Tal!"

She waved a hand, muttering a quick thanks before returning her focus to her previous thought.

If this Mags guy was correct, then it might have been possible that Kaden had his own special title within the Lombaxian government. Maybe he hadn't been elected into the position? Or maybe, he had been elected into the position after earning a title in the army first? That would give a better explanation for why Kaden and General Azimuth were friends; if they had worked their way up the ranks of the army and fought together before, then Kaden would have had more than enough credible sources to snag the position of the Keeper of the Dimensionator. And with that-

The corner of a sandwich smacked against the corner of her mouth.

Another smack.

Another smack, but this time on the center of her lips…

With a sigh, Talwyn cracked open her mouth and let Ratchet guide the food into her mouth. It was a small bite, something that barely took up a corner of her mouth. Her jaw mechanically began to chew, and her tongue barely tasted the ingredients that were in her mouth.

"Alright, so here's what I don't get…" Talwyn swallowed, opening her mouth as Ratchet tried to push more of the sandwich into her mouth. "We have the Lombax council that Mags mentioned, which means that the Lombaxes might be a polyarchal society with different leaders maintaining different sectors. However, if that was the case, then it's possible that your father might not have had army training and may have been elected into the position, which goes against his history with Azimuth and his last fight with Tachyon, so in theory the Lombaxes would have a democratic parliamentary system, which would then-"

"Annnnnnnd, it's break time. Definitely break time."

Talwyn felt her chair scoot back, and the Markazian yelped in fright as a data pad nearly crashed to the floor.

Ratchet's body stepped between her and the nine data pads at the table she had been at. With a simple movement of his hand, he fished the data pad away from Talwyn and delicately placed it back on the research table. The Lombax looked like he was currently trying to stop the smile on his face from growing any more, but oh boy, he was failing at that. His arms crossed over his chest, and his head tilted to the side in the way he always did when he was right. "Tal, sweetheart, I'm here to stage an intervention before the others beat me to it."

Offense painted her face, and an annoyed huff left the Markazian. "Ratchet, this is peak Lombaxian history at its finest! Just because I've spent more than a few hours in this study room is no reason for concern."

"Mmhm…" Ratchet lifted an eyebrow. "Tal, how long have you been in this room?"

Talwyn rolled her eyes. "I lost track of time hours ago, but if I marked time by all the meal-bringing you've been doing, I'd say I've been in here for two days."

Ratchet's brows raised, more in a comical way than one that was upset. "Uh… I'd say it was close to be nice, but you were a lot more off the mark. Try six and a half days."

"What?! No, no, no!" The Markazian immediately lifted an arm up, sniffing under her armpits. "No… no way. I don't stink."

"You missed out on the little spritzes of perfume I gave you around the fourth day."

Talwyn froze. Then grinned sheepishly. Then looked to Ratchet with fear.

"Wait! You didn't let the perfume touch any of the documents, did you? Because if-"

"'-the documents or data pads are introduced to any dangerous chemicals, they risk being corrupted or damaged and that would ruin the artifact,'" Ratchet finished. He waved a hand at her. "Don't sweat it, Tal. I might not be as trained as you are, but you've warned me enough times to get some artifact care locked in my head."

The Marakzian settled back in her chair, blowing a sigh through her lips. "Okay, then that's settled…"

"Seriously, don't sweat it. Really. I think you burned through your deodorant like three days ago. I love you to the ends of the universe, but perfume can only do so much."

Talwyn paused, then groaned as a week's worth of reading headaches hit her temple all at once. "Ugh… fine… I'll take a break."

When she looked up, she found Ratchet holding out his hand. "Now that's what I like to hear," he said, lacing his fingers into her hand and hauling her to her feet. "Usually, I'd be excited about this stuff, but you might be taking things just a bit too far, gorgeous."

"But there's so much just from the Lorbs themselves, not counting the data pads outlining the plans Mags had for the Dimensional Map!" Talwyn yanked her hand out of Ratchet's, diving back toward her research table. "I mean, just look at this one data pad! Mags visited somewhere over a thousand different dimensions a day, marking them all and adding a couple of names to the list of dimensional numbers and letters that usually make up the other, lesser-quality dimensional maps. There's the Pizzaverse, the Thief with Cane verse, the-"

"I hope you'll forgive me for this, Tal."

"Forgive you for wha-"

Arms knocked against her knees, catching her out from under her. The ceiling moved farther away from her face, and when Talwyn looked up, there was Ratchet's face. His strained, 'I-lifted-way-more-than-my-back-allows-me-to,' furry face.

She huffed out a puff of air, blowing back some of the hair that drifted close to her eyes.

"I. Gotcha. Tal." Ratchet said. His words were strangled. Even while in his arms, Talwyn could feel the slight wobbling of his legs. "Gunna. Take. You. To. Your room. Now."

It lasted a moment and about five tiny steps from the Lombax before Talwyn kicked her legs off his arms and set them to the floor. "Lemme guess," she started, grinning at the Lombax in her own teasing way, "-you can't carry me by yourself?"

"Alright, I gotta call in the big guns." Ratchet turned his head to the far-off door. "I need help guys! She wants to come but keeps getting distracted!"

Before Talwyn could say anything, Rivet, Kit, and Clank all crashed through the door and hurried into the room.

"I'm on leg-duty," Rivet called out. "Bolts, Sunshine, take whatever nerd stuff you can find."

Suddenly, Talwyn's legs were lifted high into the air with yellow metal fingers around one ankle and gloved fingers around her other. It didn't help that Ratchet was essentially holding her up by the armpits and squishing her head into his chest.

"Not that high! What if she passes out?"

"This is fine!"

"But what about the blood going to her head?"

"If you're gunna complain so much, hotshot, then why don't I take head-duty?"

"Because she's my girlfriend and the last thing Tal needs right now is a flustered Lombax that can't flirt to save her life!"

"Hey!"

A heavy sigh left Talwyn. "Come on, you two! Ratchet, you hold my head, and Rivet, you still hold my legs. Ratchet, lift my head up higher to shoulder level. Rivet, lower my legs a little bit."

Grumblings came from both the Lombaxes (honestly, she couldn't tell if it was a general Lombax thing or if it was just Ratchet and the dimensional varieties of him that couldn't help but share one well-meaning brain between them), but they followed her instructions. Her legs lowered, now about four feet off the ground rather than a full five. Ratchet lifted her head so her neck wasn't tilted at such a sharp angle.

"Okay, that's better," she said, relaxing into the arms of her captors. "I love you both, but I don't think it's a good idea to argue while you're holding someone four feet off the ground."

Kit's voice drifted over from where the research table was. "Miss Apogee, shall Clank and I guard the current artifacts and research equipment while you are away?"

"Yes, yes…" With a sigh, Talwyn craned her arm around to try and wave at Kit. "That'll work with me. I'll be back in less than a half an hour."

A scoff came from the white-furred Lombax just as Ratchet murmured, "Try five hours."

Everything was silent for a moment, with Rivet and Ratchet taking their first cautious steps away from the research table, when Clank's voice quietly called Kit to see something.

"Oh! So, the Lombaxes did have a democratic parliamentary system," Kit exclaimed. "If your reports on this General Azimuth are correct, then that might mean that it may be possible to parley with the Lombax citizens on their return to our dimensions."

And that was the entirely wrong thing to say.

Talwyn twisted in Ratchet and Rivet's arms, earning a shout of surprise from both the Lombaxes. She craned her neck, desperate to see what Kit was looking at in order to make the connection that the little robot had. "Exactly! And that's the thing about it! If there's a democracy within the Lombaxian government, then we'll be able to organize a mass movement of Lombaxes back into our dimensions, which would lead to a ton of problems but could help us in the long run-"

"Rivet, I think now's the time to start running."

"Already on it. Get ready to take sharp turns."

And the last thing Talwyn saw before the Lombaxes took off running at full sprint out of the room and to her personal PDF quarters was Kit poking at a Lorb and Clank stepping on a data pad.

Okay, so she was a nerd. But Orvus help her if she didn't take her love of history, research, and lost Lombaxian culture seriously.

"CLANK DON'T STEP ON THE PAD KIT CAREFUL WITH THE ARTIFACT AND CAN YOU TWO SLOW DOWN?!"

"Not until you're locked up in a room where we can force you to eat, sleep, and practice basic hygiene, gorgeous!"

Frustration built in her chest, a steady, rising ball that put a pout to her face and soured her glee. Then, a small thought entered her head, and the Markazian didn't stop the mischievous smile from spreading across her face. "Hey, Ratchet, Rivet… do you guys want to hear about what I found and discuss theories about what might be out there?"

Ratchet's panicked voice reverberated in her ears. "It's a trap! She's about to tell us the entire history of the Lombaxian government from the Stone Age!"

"Run faster, Ratchet! If she puts me to sleep, you're done for!"

Talwyn's cackling laughter echoed with the furious running of the Lombaxes carrying her.

Oh yeah, she was definitely a history nerd.

Chapter Text

What Makes You Beautiful

Day 3: Meeting Max

It had to be him. Why else would there be a Markazian man in the main Lombax Dimension? Same hair, now with grey highlights, and the same beard, also flaked with grey and silver colors. Same height, same build, different body gained from living on the run for so many years…

Talwyn's hand immediately went to Ratchet's. "Ratchet… Ratchet, I think- Oh, Orvus…"

Her eyes stayed locked on the man who looked so much like her father.

Ratchet's voice, calm and amazed, echoed in her right ear. "Oh. Oh, wow, okay. So… how are we gunna do this? Are you okay? What should we say?"

Their guide, a slate-grey-furred Lombax with black stripes, waved a small Lombax-made tablet in the male Markazian's face. Both Ratchet and Talwyn were still hidden behind the mountain's rocky outcrop, and while Talwyn couldn't hear what the Lombax and other Markazian were saying, it was clear neither of them knew the possible family reunion that was about to take place.

She had faced down Tachyon with Ratchet. She had worked hard with several others to become the Captain of the PDF. She had helped Ratchet fend off a Nether invasion that a massive interdimensional monster that had smashed through buildings as if they were sandcastles.

Never in her life had she felt such terror grip her heart.

"I don't… Ratchet…" Her eyes kept flicking between her father and her boyfriend. "I don't know what to do… What if I go to him and find out he never wanted to come back?" Panic swept over her, and her hands cupped her head as she ducked. "What if he found a better life here? What if he has another family? I don't know if I can meet a half-sibling or something, and what if-"

Ratchet's gloves firmly gripped her wrists, drawing the Markazian back to the present. "Hey… hey… Slow down there…" A small smile cracked on his face. "We just realized it was him, so before we tackle whatever's happened over the past years, we can at least meet him first. Maybe he's been searching for a way back for just as long as you've spent looking for him. We just gotta talk to him first."

Every emotion she had was firing on all cylinders. The burning ache behind her eyes alone let her know that she was going to cry the moment he started talking.

Talwyn nodded, forcing her lungs to slow down and take in longer breaths. A thick swallow ran down her throat. Ratchet was right. They had to meet her father before anything else could happen.

"Uh, you two, okay? The guy I was talking about is up over here, and he says that he's got some time to chat with you guys. I'm needed down at the main base for now, so I'll take my leave after you two start talking with him."

"Mikah! Are the two travelers with you?"

Their guide looked over his shoulder. He turned, cupping one hand close to his mouth. "Aya, Max? Base called me back, so I'll be taking my leave in a few."

"That's fine, bud! I'll take it from here!"

Oh gods, he still sounded like how she remembered him. There was a little more weariness and scratch to his voice, the type that came with age and lots of travel, but it was still the same voice that had tucked her into bed all those years ago.

Ratchet lowered their hands and gave her fingers a comforting squeeze.

Very slowly, Talwyn blew out the air that was pressed tight in her chest.

Their guide nodded, gave a little salute, then stepped past them to head down the mountainside. A roar sounded from his hoverboots, and a second later, the light-beige creature took off.

Talwyn only realized she was moving after she wrenched her head away from the disappearing Lombax.

"Hey! Uh… We're the two that Mikah told you about!" Ratchet called out. A warm smile, the corners of his mouth stretched tight with nervousness, graced his face. "We were hoping to ask you some questions about the, uh… Lombax colonies and things they've been doing over the past few years…"

The explorer's face twisted in confusion. Brow raised, head tilted, a frown pulling at his mouth…

He seemed to be surprised at both Ratchet and Talwyn's appearance, but not sure at which one he should have been more surprised over. Then his eyes centered directly on Talwyn. "…You… You're Markazian?"

No words came from her mouth. Muted, she nodded her head.

Max's hands settled on his hips, and a long sigh blew from his lips. "You're… well, you're a long way home, for sure, missy. Unless you're a Markazian from one of the other Lombaxian colonies?"

Still no words. Talwyn shook her head.

"Ah… I see…" Max's hands didn't seem to know where to stay. They went from his hips, to his face and elbow, to rubbing at the coarse beard at his chin. "…Um… can I… would it trouble you two if I asked you a personal question before we went in and discussed things? I wouldn't usually be so upfront, but there's something that I just can't shake about you in particular, miss."

Talwyn still couldn't speak.

"Uh, yeah, I think we're okay with being asked a question…" Ratchet's voice held the same level of hesitance as Max's voice had. "I think we might have the same question for you, if we're both on the same page."

His brows narrowed, but he looked like he was holding back a comment on that phrase.

An awkward silence settled over the mountain lip. Even after all the years, Talwyn felt the words she wanted to say freeze in her throat. What was she going to start with? Did she let him speak or could she just interrupt?

How were you supposed to reunite with your father that had spent the past twenty years in another dimension?

In the end, Max was the one to break the silence. "You…" He shifted uneasily on his feet, pulling off his explorer hat and holding it in his hands. "Before I came to this dimension, I had to leave behind a little girl. She was my daughter, the apple of my eye, and I had to leave her behind to protect the Dimensionator from falling into the wrong hands."

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. There was nothing she could do to stop the tears from rolling down the sides of her cheeks.

Max took a small step closer, keeping his eyes on Talwyn. "She had brown hair with a little braid in it… a stubborn streak a mile wide… and blue eyes so full of adventure that everything in the multiverse would be able to satisfy it."

Her heart squeezed.

Another step. "I left her when she was about six-years-old… and you look near thirty…"

She couldn't move.

"Talwyn… Is that you, sweetheart?"

And then she threw herself into his arms.

His shirt pressed up tight against her cheek, and her happy tears soaked through the fabric in seconds. Her fingers held onto him, tight, unwilling to let go. Arms, strong and weathered from so many years of adventuring, squeezed her close. Talwyn had no idea what it looked like to Ratchet, but Orvus help her, there was nothing that would break this moment with her father.

"Wait… who are you and how do you know my daughter?"

Or, that could happen.

Talwyn looked over her shoulder to see Ratchet with a sheepish expression. "Alright, so, my turn…" Ratchet tucked a hand behind his head. "It's a bit of a long story…"

Slowly, Max's body relaxed. He nudged Talwyn away, hugging her to his right side. "Well," he laughed, "we got plenty of time. Tell me about yourself, and you-" he looked down at Talwyn "-we've got a lot of time to catch up on…"