Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Bye, April! See you tomorrow at practice?”

“For sure! Bye guys!”

March watches April walk around the corner towards her dorm and out of sight before turning back to Adam and Justin.

“Alright, back to Wilson then?”

“You know it,” Adam says, grabbing Justin’s hand and tugging him along the path over the bridge with a grin. She’s honestly impressed with how fast they got their act together, starting to date just a month after meeting during preseason training. She met them the first week of her own preseason at a hockey kegster, and thought they were the most ridiculous bro-tastic people she’s ever met. The ensuing weeks have only confirmed and strengthened that impression. But they are also her best friends and she wouldn’t trade them for the world.

It’s a peaceful evening on campus – March still isn’t used to just how gorgeous Samwell is, leaves falling, the creek trickling in the background. She’s still riding the high of introducing April to Ransom and Holster; they’ve been trying to plan a hangout for weeks now, and it finally happened.

“What do you guys think? You like her, right?”

“She’s really cool. Glad we finally got to do this,” Justin says.

“Ch’yeah, glad to put a face to the name, finally,” says Adam. 

“And what a face she has,” Justin adds, waggling his eyebrows at her.

“She’s literally a lesbian, Harold,” she deadpans. “But yeah, she’s pretty. I’m like, so glad I met her the first day. Oh! And we didn’t talk about it tonight but she was talking earlier about setting something up for pregaming the next volleyball party, if you guys were interested. And she’s gonna come to the next hockey game with me, so look forward to that.”

An easy silence falls between them as they cross campus. March is at peace, glad that all her friends here have finally met. None of them have time to go to most of the Queer™ events on campus, so it’s realy nice having a crew that gets it . She feels her phone buzz and can’t help the rush of pleasure when she sees April’s name pop up.

April: hey, I made it home!

March: <3 glad to hear it
March: see you tomorrow!

April: mwah
April: let me know when YOU get home

March: will do :)

As she pockets her phone again and turns back to the guys she’s a little taken aback to see how avidly they are watching her.

“What’s up?” March says, smile fading a little in her confusion.

“April?” asks Ransom.

“Yeah, just letting me know she got home okay.”

“Cool, cool,” now Holster sounds a little weird, but she continues on anyway.

“And she asked me to text her when I get in. But that’s standard for us. We check in a few times a day when we don’t have class together. Did I tell you what she said to the douchebag lax bro who didn’t do the reading and tried to pretend that he did? April totally owned him, I’ve never seen someone go so red so quickly, it was amazing. She’s just so clever and funny, and her Instagram is totally on point. She brought me contraband Rice Krispy Treats the other day when I found out the group project in my history class is forty percent of my final grade—”

Oh.

Her brain finally catches up to what her mouth is saying and the shock of it makes her stop in the middle of the path, mouth hanging open.

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

Justin nudges his boyfriend. “Guess the penny finally dropped, eh?”

“Looks like it, babe,” Adam grins.

March trudges forward and collapses into their stupidly broad chests. “How did I fucking miss this?” she whines. “It’s literally been three month and it took me until now to realize?”

She feels their arms come around her. “Clearly you were suppressing it until she met us,” Holster teases.

“Oh fuck you both, this is a crisis.” 

She’s smiling a little though.

Chapter Text

April: hey what was the reading for tomorrow again?
April: i can’t find my fucking syllabus

March: chapter six plus the blackboard responses

April: fuck blackboard

March: you’ll be fine

April: i never know what to say
April: everything i write on there in response always sounds so dumb
April: honestly its homophobic that i can’t just respond to other people and have that count

March: how is it homophobic? Its just a response forum it can’t hurt you

April: i’m a lesbian and it’s inconveniencing me

March laughed at “i’m a lesbian and it’s incoveniencing me”

April: don’t laugh at me thats practically a hate crime

March: HAHAHAHHAHA
March: poor thing

April: ooooh i’m march and i did my responses last week
April: i’m so organized and ahead of the game wowwwww

March: R U D E

April: thanks for the info ❤️
April: you da bomb dot com

March: of course!
March: good luck ❤️

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

“Tsk tsk, language,” April teases.

“You literally have a swear jar, shut the fuck up,” March volleys back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can’t. Find. A. Fucking. Hair tie. Gah!” March collapses back on the bench, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. She’s tired, her cramps are out of this world today, she’s hungry, and now she has to get through volleyball practice without a hair tie and—

“Here.” March looks up to see April holding a hair tie out towards her, a slight smile on her face. She just looks up blankly for a second.

“That isn’t the kind you use.”

“Nope,” April says, jiggling the elastic at her. “It is the kind you use, though. Just take it.”

March takes it on autopilot. “But why do you have one of my hair ties?”

“You left like three in my room. Plus you have, like, opinions about pony tail holders, so it seemed prudent to just get a pack last time I was at CVS,” April shrugs.

“Oh. Thanks.” March uses the mirror in her locker to tie up her hair, noticing the blush high on her cheeks at the same time. It’s a hair tie not a marriage proposal, calm down girl.

“No worries."

"And just because I find it ridiculous that every woman in an action movie doesn't have a goddamn hair tie—"

"Here we go again."

"When they clearly all need one, doesn't mean that it's weird that I have opinions about—"

"March! Simmer down you know I fucking agree with you!"

"I'm just sayin' there's a reason Birds of Prey is one of the greatest movies ever made," March finishes.

"Again, you're right about it, hence me bringing you one. Also, you almost made me forget,” she says, rummaging in her backpack, “I brought you a snack from D-Hall since I know you didn’t make it over there today.”

Intellectually March knows that it’s not a big deal, but being on her period means that her hormones are all over the place, and the fact that April is the one making her feel better means she’s on the brink of tears all of the sudden.

“You are the literal best person I know,” she says, trying to reign herself in.

“It’s just an apple and a princess bar, relax,” says April, but she’s grinning. “Eat fast, we’ve got pracky in fifteen.”

Lord help her, she’s gone on a girl who says pracky unironically.

March: can you BELIEVE that guy?

April: i’m gonna push him into traffic one of these days

March emphasized “i’m gonna push him into traffic one of these days”

April: for legal purposes
April: this is a joke

March: good. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested and leave me ALONE in class with that asshole

April emphasized “good. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested and leave me ALONE in class with that asshole”

April: such a sad sack o shit
April: so pathetic
April: a festering sooooore

March loved “a festering sooooore”

April: who will never be moooooore than that
April: fuck
April: that
April: guy
April: he’s 
April: just
April: an

March: AAAASSSSSS HOOOOLLLE

April: asshoooollleee

March: what a good song
March: bareilles did a good days work with those lyrics

April: I’M SAYIN

Chapter Text

April: hey what was the reading for tomorrow again?
April: i can’t find my fucking syllabus

March: chapter six plus the blackboard responses

April: fuck blackboard

March: you’ll be fine

April: i never know what to say
April: everything i write on there in response always sounds so dumb
April: honestly its homophobic that i can’t just respond to other people and have that count

March: how is it homophobic? Its just a response forum it can’t hurt you

April: i’m a lesbian and it’s inconveniencing me

March laughed at “i’m a lesbian and it’s incoveniencing me”

April: don’t laugh at me thats practically a hate crime

March: HAHAHAHHAHA
March: poor thing

April: ooooh i’m march and i did my responses last week
April: i’m so organized and ahead of the game wowwwww

March: R U D E

April: thanks for the info ❤️
April: you da bomb dot com

March: of course!
March: good luck ❤️

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

“Tsk tsk, language,” April teases.

“You literally have a swear jar, shut the fuck up,” March volleys back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can’t. Find. A. Fucking. Hair tie . Gah!” March collapses back on the bench, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. She’s tired, her cramps are out of this world today, she’s hungry, and now she has to get through volleyball practice without a hair tie and—

“Here.” March looks up to see April holding a hair tie out towards her, a slight smile on her face. She just looks up blankly for a second.

“That isn’t the kind you use.”

“Nope,” April says, jiggling the elastic at her. “It is the kind you use, though. Just take it.”

March takes it on autopilot. “But why do you have one of my hair ties?”

“You left like three in my room. Plus you have, like, opinions about pony tail holders, so it seemed prudent to just get a pack last time I was at CVS,” April shrugs.

“Oh. Thanks.” March uses the mirror in her locker to tie up her hair, noticing the blush high on her cheeks at the same time. It’s a hair tie not a marriage proposal, calm down girl.

“No worries."

"And just because I find it ridiculous that every woman in an action movie doesn't have a goddamn hair tie—"

"Here we go again."

"When they clearly all need one, doesn't mean that it's weird that I have opinions about—"

"March! Simmer down you know I fucking agree with you!"

"I'm just sayin' there's a reason Birds of Prey is one of the greatest movies ever made," March finishes.

"Again, you're right about it, hence me bringing you one. Also, you almost made me forget,” she says, rummaging in her backpack, “I brought you a snack from D-Hall since I know you didn’t make it over there today.”

Intellectually March knows that it’s not a big deal, but being on her period means that her hormones are all over the place, and the fact that April is the one making her feel better means she’s on the brink of tears all of the sudden.

“You are the literal best person I know,” she says, trying to reign herself in.

“It’s just an apple and a princess bar, relax,” says April, but she’s grinning. “Eat fast, we’ve got pracky in fifteen.”

Lord help her, she’s gone on a girl who says pracky unironically.

March: can you BELIEVE that guy?

April: i’m gonna push him into traffic one of these days

March emphasized “i’m gonna push him into traffic”

April: for legal purposes
April: this is a joke

March: good. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested and leave me ALONE in class with that asshole

April emphasized “good. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested and leave me ALONE in class with that asshole”

April: such a sad sack o shit
April: so pathetic
April: a festering sooooore

March loved “a festering sooooore”

April: who will never be moooooore than that
April: fuck
April: that
April: guy
April: he’s 
April: just
April: an

March: AAAASSSSSS HOOOOLLLE

April: asshoooollleee

March: what a good song
March: bareilles did a good days work with those lyrics

April: I’M SAYIN

Chapter Text

“So I got you a thing.”

March looks up, startled, from studying to see that April has joined her table at Annie’s without her noticing.

“Shit, when did you get here?”

April grins, “Not long, you were pretty focused.”

“This fucking history class is going to kill me,” March says, letting her head thunk forward onto her notes.

“Nah, you’re fine,” April says, all easy confidence. “Do you want your present?”

And. March is going to combust with this shit. April is always giving her stuff. Small stuff: coffee, hair ties, a new highlighter, the book she just finished and needs March to read so they can talk about it. But it’s constant. And March can feel herself turn red every time.

They are good friends, probably even best friends at this point. And yeah, March is massively into her, and all these gifts could be a sign April likes her back, but she’s also seen April bring snacks and small things to the rest of the freshman volleyball girls, so what if this is just what friendship looks like for April? There’s no way March is risking their friendship for that perfectly possible situation, no matter what Ransom and Holster think. Just because their crushes worked out doesn’t mean hers will.

“Yeah, I need a break anyway. What did you get me?” April hands over a small bag, like the kind you put jewelry in.

“So, I saw this a while ago and immediately bought it not knowing what occasion would be perfect. And then you finished that big group project and you’re waiting for your grade and so I thought you could do with the reminder and – do you like it?”

It’s an enamel pin shaped like a blue ribbon. And in the center it says “I tried my best.” March loves it immediately.

“It’s perfect.”

April slumps a little, and March hadn’t registered that she was tense until now, seeing her relax. Was April nervous about giving her the pin?

“Oh good, I’m glad. I just – I wanted to make sure you had the reminder. Because you worked your ass off on that project, and like, in general. So—”

“April, it’s great. I love it. Thank you.”

She ducks her head a little, pleased. “You want a refill? I didn’t actually get a drink yet.”

“Nah, but I should grab a snack, I’m here for another couple hours before getting ready for practice.”

“Tight, let’s go,” she says, holding her hand out.

March lets April pull her to her feet and to the end of the line.

Chapter Text

March gets settled on her last train back to Samwell and finally has a chance to check her phone. It had been buzzing constantly the last few minutes.

April: mmaaaaarchhhhhh
April: i’m losing my mind with boredom
April: entertain me or i’ll go buy hair dye in an inadvisable color
April: or cut my own bangs
April: marchhhhhhhhhh
April: march
April: march
April: march
April: march
April: M
April: A
April: R
April: C
April: H
April: WHERE EDID YOU GO
April: COME BACK
April: WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME
April: MARCH
April: omg some townie is walking their dog past the dorm and it is HUGE and hairy and slobbery
April: i want 12
April: newfies <3333333
April: MARCH MARCH MARCH MARCH

March: omg calm down i was changing trains

April: ITS A MIRACLE SHE HAS RETURNED TO ME

March: i’ll be at Samwell by 3, don’t do anything to your hair
March: also the dorm cannot hold any number of dogs, let alone a newfie

April: you’ll have to entertain me then

March lets her head hit the back of the seat as she tries to calm her racing heart. Nothing has changed, they are still best friends, this is a normal and in fact typical interaction.

She can do this.

March: and that is different from normal how?

April: W O W
April: shot to the heart

March: lol you're ridiculous

April: 😘

March: how was the rest of your break? We didn’t really get a chance to talk after thanksgiving proper

April: mostly fine. Hung out with my mom, watched Miracle on 34th street
April: hi key freaked out slash overthought my crush
April: to the point where i actually talked to my mom about her

March takes a deep breath before answering.

She can do this.

March: what a coincidence
March: i also was freaking out about my crush
March: but its a long term crush so i think it was pretty low key
March: no one said anything to me anyway

April: #mood
April: and also
April: WHY is this the first i’m hearing about this crush of yours?
April: tell me everything
April: guy? girl? nonbinary?
April: do i know them????
April: *inigo montoya voice* i Must Know

Well.

March: girl. I met her at Samwell and we hang out a lot its torture
March: idk i didn’t even know it was a crush for about a month and
March: …promise not to laugh

April: cross my heart

March: i only realized i was into her because i wouldnt shut up about her to Ransom and Holster and they told me i had a crush

April: in the interest of truth i should tell you that i snorted

March: r u d e

April: but also big mood

March: yeah its really scary
March: because i haven’t ever connected with someone this fast
March: romantic or otherwise
March: so its like, how can this be happening rn?
March: and then we hang out and then im like
March: oh right, this is why
March: super easy, it just feels natural or like, inevitable i guess

March’s mouth is totally dry and she has to close her eyes as she feels her phone vibrate a few more times with April’s responses. Will she realize I’m talking about her?

April: no i totally get that
April: my crush totally snuck up on me as well
April: and like, i feel like its always more scary when its a friend?

Her heart skips a beat. Is April talking about her? It feels like an actual possibility for once.

She can do this.

April: apparently i talked about my crush so much last spring
April: my mom had to be like:
April: april you want to kiss this girl please do something about it before prom

She can’t do this.

March finally understood the phrase, felt the bottom drop out of my stomach. She and April hadn’t met until the end of August.

April’s crush isn’t her.

Fuck.

The stubborn part of her personality won’t just let this lie.

March: based on the fact that youre still freaking out about it that you didn’t do anything before prom

April: hahahah LOL no i did not
April: i wasn’t about to potentially ruin the end of my senior year
April: we made plans to hang out over christmas break
April: so we’ll see how it goes
April: if i’m really lucky the crush will have faded by then

March: fingers crossed
March: crushes on friends suck

April: thanks babe
April: get here soon!
April: someone is wrong about birds of prey on the internet and i don’t have the perfect recall that you do
April: i need your brain
April: and hair tie opinions lmao

March: like i said, i’ll be there by 3
March: maybe i can bribe them to go faster

April: LUDICROUS SPEED
April: MARCH COMING IN LIKE A LION

March: never heard that one before 🙄

April: you loooooove me

She can’t do this.

March: i suppose i do
March: my battery is actually about to die so i’ll see you when i get back

She slumps down in her seat and turns off her phone. March thinks she managed to text as normal even through the emotional roller coaster, but she doesn’t have the energy to deal with it right now. She’s suddenly very tired and just watches the scenery roll by, trying not to think about anything at all.

Chapter Text

Somehow, March keeps it together for two whole weeks after the Train Conversation™.

She goes to class, she goes to meals, she studies, she hangs out with Adam and Justin, she sleeps.

She sees April at team meals, sees her at practice, in class, at games, at the library, at parties. Sees her every day.

Somehow, she keeps herself together.

After all, the only thing that changed is that now she knows her crush is unrequited where before she only suspected.

It shouldn’t hurt so much.

“Earth to March, drink delivery!” She jerks her attention away from the window and guiltily refocuses on Justin.

“Sorry, thanks for getting this round,” she says with a deep inhale, reveling in the comforting aroma.

“Got your back,” he says easily. They drink in silence for a few minutes, but she can see him watching her as she pretends to people watch out the big window. Any second now. Neither Justin nor Adam are known for their subtlety and she knows she’s been worrying them since she got back from Thanksgiving quieter and brooding more. For all they lack in patience, they make up for in loyalty – so they haven’t asked, despite clearly wanting to. But her grace period has run out and she steels herself for the inevitable.

“If you really don’t want me to ask, I won’t,” Justin starts gently, “But Holster and I have been worried about you. And I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

She sighs, rolls some of the tension out of her shoulders and meets his eyes. It’s time.

“April has a crush on a friend. A friend that isn’t me. I found out on the train back from break.”

Justin’s eyes widen at the news, but he doesn’t say anything right away. The men’s hockey team, and Adam and Justin (and their friend Shitty) in particular have a (well-deserved) reputation for being loud and obnoxious. But – get them in smaller groups, in more serious situations than after-parties or team bonding – and they’re focused and calm, happy to listen, ready to help. Justin just studies her a little longer before carefully setting his cup down and realigning the seam of the sleeve to the seam of the cup.

“I’m definitely going to need more information than that, March. Details, babe.”

She snorts, the rest of the tension leaving her in a rush. Once she tells him, at least someone else will know and she’s self-aware enough to realize that she’s been feeling isolated keeping this to herself. March pulls her phone out and opens up the screenshots she took of the Train Conversation™ , and sends them to him. His nose scrunches up a little as he reads through. It’s cute. She switches over to her camera and takes a picture.

March: ur boyfriend is all cute rn
March: 12092014.jpg

Adam: 🥺🥺🥺
Adam: March you are a GODDESS THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE

March: 👍

She puts her phone away again and looks up in time to see Justin’s phone blowing up. She grins – Adam works fast.

“Jesus christ woman, you could have waited until after this to send it to him.”

“Nah, your little nose scrunch is too cute to be hoarded. They should put that on the brochure instead of your hockey team photo,” she teases.

“Ugh don’t remind me, I can’t believe they scheduled that for finals week,” Justin groans. “But don’t think this will derail the conversation—” It’s her turn to groan, but he just plows on, “March, this is a big deal, you were clearly gearing up to tell her you like her, no wonder you’ve been off the last couple weeks.”

“Yeah. I really thought I could, ya know? Like, I didn’t have to look her in the eyes, and we could get the awkward part out of the way. And I thought, fuck, for a minute there I let myself hope she was talking about me – which I was avoiding thinking about before, I am not actually a masochist – but nope. Just some girl from her high school. That’s apparently been going on for fucking ages and her mom even knows about it and like, how am I supposed to compete with that, I just – ugh. Fuck this.” March drops her head into the cradle of her arms on the table with a dull thud. Feelings suck. And unrequited ones suck even worse.

She feels Justin pat her on the shoulder a few times. “Needed to get that off your chest, eh?”

“Wouldn’t you?” she asks grumpily into the table.

“Yeah – but I would have cracked under the feelings way earlier. Holster would have forced it out of me by now.”

March tips her head up enough to glare. “You don’t get to say anything – your crush was A, requited and two, dealt with in less than two months.”

“Fair, fair,” he says. “Do you need to vent, or am I trying to come up with solutions here? If it’s solutions, we should wait for Holster, he’s good at problem solving.”

“I think just venting and sympathy,” says March, sitting up properly again. “She’s just everywhere. Class and practice and games and team bonding and studying and at least one meal a day. And like, obviously she’s my best friend, so I want her around a lot, but it’s overwhelming now – having that confirmation just sucks.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

Bzzt bzzt

March looks down at her phone, hating herself a little at the swoop of excitement in her stomach when she sees April’s name pop up.

April: !!!!!
April: remember our convo about giraffes the other day???
April: Baby Giraffes Are Awkward - YouTube

March: omg i can’t wait to watch
March: with Justin rn i’ll watch when i get back to the dorm

April: <3

“April?”

“Did I mention she texts me almost as much as you and Adam text? Because she does. Again, I’m not like, upset but the constant interaction means that I can’t not think about her and when I do I inevitably remember that her crush isn’t me and that she’s meeting up with that girl over break and then it takes me a minute or two to recalibrate all over again. Worst.”

Justin is suspiciously quiet at that. March narrows her eyes at him.

“What.”

“I’m debating whether I should point something out to you or not. It’s closer to the solution end of the spectrum.”

“Just tell me. Might be a nice change of pace from my internal whining,” she sighs.

“Okay. So she said hopefully the crush will fade once she actually interacts with this girl again, right?”

“Right. But it could still be there.”

“Yeah, but she also said her mom had to point it out to her in the first place.”

“What are you saying?” asks March.

“I’m saying that April is a lot of things, but not the most in touch with her feelings, right? So, she had a crush in high school, and once it was pointed out to her, she went all in. But I’ll bet it works both ways. Like, if she did outgrow this crush, she might need to be like, hit over the head with the knowledge. Aka, meeting up with her over the winter break might be enough for her to realize.”

“Huh.”

Justin’s brought up a new angle. For all her overthinking about the Train Conversation™, March hadn’t considered that possibility.

A glint enters his eyes as he continues, and March’s heart sinks as she guesses what’s coming now. “And – I’m just spitballing here – her self-obliviousness probably also means that she wouldn’t notice getting a new cru—”

“Absolutely not, do not put that into the universe Justin Oluransi. I swear to god if you try to get my hopes up about this after what happened—”

“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up. But—”

“Nope.” March shakes her head emphatically. “The best case scenario for me right now is that she figures out she doesn’t have a crush on that other girl and the winter break is enough for me to get my head back on straight around her by the time we get back. Right now I’m just coasting on finals stress.”

“Fucking finals,” Justin grouses.

Bzzt bzzt

April: are you heading back to the dorm yet???
April: i need your opinion about the giraffes march
April: for science

March: soon

April: 🙌🙌🙌

“Fucking finals.”

Fucking feelings.

Chapter Text

Winter break did its job, allowing March to reset herself after the stress of finals and trying to act normal around April. (April’s confession, later in the break, that her high school crush was well and truly dead, helped more than March is ever willing to admit.)

March is relaxed enough, in fact, that the first two and a half months of the new semester absolutely fly by. She and April hang out as much as, if not more, than ever. They don’t have a class together this semester, but make a point to study together at least once a week. (They don’t talk about how getting knocked out of volleyball playoffs in early February caused a gaping hole in their schedule they were desperate to fill.)

But now it’s Spring Break, and March is home again, half-heartedly searching for summer jobs she can apply for, when her phone rings. She gets her traitorous (leaping for joy) heart under control as she answers.

“Hey April! How’s NYC? Your friends showing you the sights?”

“March, oh my god, I’m freaking out. I um – ended up on a date?”

“A date? Your friends are setting you up now?” March is pretty proud of how even her voice sounds. Her poor heart feels like it's somewhere around her knees.

April laughs. “Ha! I wish. No, one of my guy friends – he goes to a different New York school than the ones I’m staying with – said we should grab food while I’m here, so I said sure, and that I was free this afternoon if he wanted to get lunch somewhere in the middle.”

“Uh-huh. Continue.” March can feel a grin pulling at the corner of her mouth. (Her heart is suddenly a lot lighter.)

“And I get there, and it’s this like, medium fancy place, and I’m just in ratty jeans and a shirt because why would we be going somewhere nice? We’re college students, and I’m hungry. The place sounded like a diner – March stop laughing, that's rude – and he like, pulled my chair out for me and kept listening and watching me like really intently. And I thought that was weird but I was too hungry to focus on that so we got the bill and he’s all like ‘Oh it’s on me,’ and I’m not going to turn down free food but that’s weird too. Again, both semi-broke college kids, let's not pretend here. And we go outside and I’m about to say goodbye and head back to meet my other friends and he just says, ‘I had a really nice time today’—”

And then March can’t keep her laughter in anymore.

“When you are quite finished—”

“Sorry, sorry,” March wheezes, finally calming down enough to speak. “Sorry, what did you say, or did you not even realize that you’d been on a date yet?”

“Ididntrealizeitwasadate,” says April quickly.

“What was that?”

April sighs. “I said, I hadn’t realized it was a date at that point. Go on.”

April’s permission is all March needs to trigger her laughter once again.

“Okay, okay, I’m good now. Tell me the rest, please?” she begs.

“Alright. So he tells me he had a nice time. And I’m like, ‘yeah obviously I did too, it was good to catch up,’ and before I can say ‘keep in touch’ or ‘I have to go’ he freaking leans in to kiss me! And like, I know I can miss a lot of things, but that I noticed and turned my head so he got my cheek instead and I took a huge step back and then it got awkward.”

“It wasn’t awkward before that?!”

“Not on my end! I just thought I was catching up with a good friend!” April whines.

“How good a friend can he be? Doesn’t he know you’re a lesbian?” asks March.

“He said he was hoping I’d switch to bi!” They both lose it at that point, and it takes several minutes and more than one attempt to calm down.

“For fuck’s sake,” March says, still chuckling a little.

“Right? Maybe I'll just swear off romance if only guys are asking me out,” April sighs, a little dejectedly this time. “I kind of thought that being at Samwell would mean I’d actually get to date a girl, but no girls are asking me out either.”

March’s whole world stops. (Is her heart meant to beat this fast?)

“March? You still there?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m here,” she answers. Crap what now? “Um, maybe some girls want to ask you out and are just chicken shit scared to actually do it because you’re so awesome.” March is so tense right now. Did she strike the right tone? Did she reveal too much? Are her feelings for April obvious now? Is that a normal thing to tell your best friend?

“Haha yeah right, thanks for trying to make me feel better,” April laughs. “You’re a good friend. If I’m so awesome, at least one girl would have asked me out by now. For shit’s sake, at least half the volleyball team is into women. And it’s not like I’ve been keeping it a secret. And we’ve been going to all those queer mixers and like, I want to date someone and—”

“Whoa, April. Pause for a second. When I tell you you’re great, I mean it. I’ve never had a better friend, plus you’re gorgeous and kind and fun. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” Too far, too obvious, pull it back. “You know the captains would set you up in a heartbeat if you asked. Or Adam and Justin, they know practically everyone. If you want to really focus on that when we get back, you can. Blind dates are easy to get scheduled, if you want to really start dating.” Please don’t want to start dating, please don’t want to—

“That’s not it, I think I’m just all thrown off from this afternoon.” Oh thank god. “Like it would be nice to have someone. I think I would like being in a relationship, but I’m not all that stressed about dating you know?”

“That I get, yeah.”

“Although, would I even have time? You and I hang out so much, it would be hard to find time for another person. Or for that matter, it would be hard to find a person better than you to hang out with.” (March’s heart is really getting a workout today.)

“Right.”

“Are you okay? You sounded kinda weird just then.”

“Dry throat, I’m fine.”

“Oh good. Anyway, I just couldn’t believe that happened to me today. Like what a trip. How’s your break going? You’re still looking for jobs, right? Or did you give—”

“April? I actually gotta go, Mom’s calling me.”

“Oh, okay bye I gue—”

“Bye! Talk later!”

She hangs up in a hurry, not letting April get a proper goodbye in. She’s freaking out. ‘It would be hard to find someone better than you to hang out with’ is swirling around in her head with ‘my mom had to be like: april you want to kiss this girl.’

April is notoriously bad at noticing her own feelings.

April is equally bad at noticing other people being into her.

It’s actually fucking likely that April likes her and hasn’t realized it yet. March probably actually has a really good chance at getting to date the girl she’s been crushing on since October.

Holy shit. This calls for reinforcements.

March: i need your help
March: for date ideas

Justin: !!!!!
Justin: did you?!

Adam: holy shit! This is happening??!?!?!?!

March: focus boys
March: date ideas first
March: deets later

Adam: cruel

Justin: but fair
Justin: give us a minute

Adam: got your back march

Chapter Text

March was prepared okay? She had a plan, a backup plan, and a backup to the backup plan. She had done research. She didn’t think it would actually take that much to make April realize that March had romantic intent.

She really should have known better.

“Hey, April?”

“What’s up? I’m on my way out the door for my afternoon class.”

“Not much. Just. I wanted to ask you. D-Do you want to make dinner together tonight? I bought stuff for fancy grilled cheese. You said you were craving it the other day, and I checked and the dining hall isn’t serving any for like two whole weeks. And I looked and no one reserved the kitchen in my dorm. So I just, yeah. Do you want to have dinner with me?”

March has to work really hard to stop rambling there, and even harder not to fidget too much. She’s never been so nervous in her life, probably. March watches carefully, a small bloom of hope growing, as April’s face lights up.

“Oh my gosh, that sounds amazing. Thank you so much, that’s really thoughtful of you. Oh! I’ll grab soup from the grab and go place on my way back from class, yeah?”

March feels herself beam. April likes the idea. April is participating in the planning of this. She’s into it. Plan A is going to work.

“Sounds delicious.”

“Yeah! Wait, can I bring Nora with me? She's in my last class, and we haven’t really hung out since the season ended.”

For fuck’s sake.

“Well, I—”

“We can make it a freshman bonding thing! Great, right?”

March gives up. “Amazing.”

“See you tonight then!”

April hugs her, hard, and March tries not to melt into it; tries not to overanalyze the hug. Is she holding on too long? Is April holding on longer than her?

April gives her a final squeeze, grins, and takes off down the hallway.

“See you,” March calls after her.

Once April turns the corner, March lets her head bang against the doorframe.

March: Will you come with me to the tri theta party tonight?
March: its semi-formal
March: and I’d really like it if you came with me

April: Sure!
April: you never want to go to parties!
April: this is a momentous occasion!

March: well
March: you like parties
March: you like having an excuse to dress up
March: and I like you
March: and your outfits
March: so
March: party

April: yay!
April: we can wingman each other
April: wingwoman?
April: wingperson?
April: either way

March: please don’t try and set me up with someone at this party

April: why not?
April: its not like you’ve gone out with anyone here
April: parties are a fun place to meet people!
April: plus it’ll give you a chance to try and get over that crush on your friend!

March: …

April: what?

March: are you serious

April: yes?
April: you said you didn’t want to have a crush on your friend
April: this is just the first time i feel like I can help you with that
April: and i we’ll be at a non-hockey/volleyball party for the first time
April: new people clean slate etc
April: win win win

March: well.
March: this is me officially saying i’m good with my crush
March: no need to matchmake

April: you sure?

March: extremely.

April: okay!
April: meet at your dorm at 9?

March: yup yup
March: i’ll be ready
March: see you tonight

April: see you!
April: can’t wait to see what outfit you pick!
April: you always look so great :)

March: ditto

A week after the Tri Theta party where April had looked unfairly amazing, the universe gives her another opportunity. March never thought she’d be this grateful for The Swallow.

“Oh, cool! The student union is putting on a black and white film festival on Saturday. I know you’ve got that group project thing in the afternoon, but we could grab dinner to go and have a picnic for the last couple movies?”

April just stares at her, a dazed expression on her face.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” March thought she got all the cheeto dust off in the bathroom earlier.

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” April says, flushing a little, “Just, how did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That I love black and white movies? I don’t think we’ve ever talked about it.”

“We haven’t. I just saw the ad in The Swallow and I just thought it would be a fun thing to do together. I’ve always wanted to watch some, we didn’t really have any growing up.”

“Oh, well, yes. I’d love to go.”

Oh shit, this might actually be happening. Be cool.

“Cool cool cool. Just text me when you’re done with the group thing and I’ll meet you at Wellies on the Go?”

“For sure.”

Saturday comes and March can’t settle down. She showers and picks out her outfit, cleans her whole room, packs and repacks her bag with picnic stuff, does her laundry, and is still trying to calm her knee bouncing up and down when she gets April’s text.

April: hey!
April: i’m done

March: awesome
March: i’ll just grab my blanket and stuff and i’ll be on my way

April: we’ll meet you at wellies

What?

March: we?

April: Mel? Prospective student?
April: here this whole weekend?
April: staying in my dorm?

March: right

Fuck.

March: how could i forget
March: see you two in a few

April: yay!

It’s too late to change now, however much she didn’t dress up for a girl she’s never met. March sighs, and removes the flowers from her picnic set up. Definitely not the opportunity she thought it would be.

March does her best not to take out her disappointment on April or Mel as they get food and make their way to the quad. Mel is delightful, and March actually finds herself hoping that Mel ends up coming to Samwell in the fall.

Sometime in the middle of the second movie she leans back and feels a hand under hers. She moves it, and turns to apologize and meets April’s wide eyes.

“Sorry,” March whispers, unable to look away. The screen is creating a halo effect around April’s hair, and the slight breeze means that March catches a whiff of April’s perfume.

“It’s fine,” April whispers back, then whips her head back around to face the screen. It’s hard to tell in the dark, but March thinks that April is blushing.

Having lost the plot of the movie, March just watches April’s reactions, utterly captivated.

It might not be the date she was hoping for, but it’s still a pretty good night.

She’ll try again next week.

Chapter Text

“Hey can I ask you something?”

This is it. The moment. March has been pulling her hair out trying to figure out how to make her intentions clear without just hauling April in and kissing her. Consent is sexy and fucking mandatory, she’s not just going to plant one on her best friend.

But she has a foolproof plan. She’s going to actually go on a date with her this time.

“Of course, what’s up?” April asks, smiling over at her from across the table.

“Will you go to Spring C with me?”

“Absolutely!”

“Really? You don’t have someone else you were planning on going with? Or another prospect visiting or something?”

“Nope! I wasn’t actually planning on going – I don’t know the band super well, but going with you sounds fun.”

“Okay, great! I’ll come get you from your dorm – it’s closer to the stage than mine.”

“That sounds good – oh wait, the tickets are all sold out already—”

“I got two tickets already. We’re all set.”

“Well, I could pay you back—”

“Nope.”

“Really, I could—”

“Nah. You weren’t even gonna go if not for me asking, I got it.”

“Okay. Thanks, March.”

Do not blush.

“No problem.”

The promise of a (finally!) date with April is all that gets her through the first week of finals. With studying to distract her, she doesn’t have time to worry about what to wear or create problems where there aren’t any. And then the night arrives; the weather is perfect for an outdoor concert.

It’s gonna be a perfect night, she just knows it.

March shows up to April’s door, palms sweating and knocks. April opens the door and March almost falls over with how great she looks.

April’s done something new with her eye makeup and March is entranced.

“Hi.” If her voice is a little breathy, April doesn’t call her out on it.

“Hey, March.”

“Oh hey, I found something at the thrift store the other day,” March says, holding out the magnet for April to take. It says hair ties before guys and March hadn’t been able to resist. April reaches out and takes it beaming.

“This is incredible, hang on, let me just put it on the fridge and grab my phone and we can go.”

As they get closer to Lake Quad where the stage is set up, the crowd gets thicker, and March gets brave enough to reach out and grab April’s hand. She finally asked her out – there’s no way March is going to lose April in the crowd now. April’s face flushes when March laces their fingers together, and March beams at her.

“C’mon, we’ll find a spot far enough from the speakers that we can still hear each other a bit.”

They chat about everything and nothing while the band finishes setting up. March sees Justin and Adam over April’s shoulder giving her obnoxious thumbs up from their group of hockey bros. She just laughs and pulls April a little closer, the better to talk in her ear over the rising noise of the crowd.

The band starts playing and March nudges April into jumping around with her, screaming along to the lyrics she knows and generally being in love with the universe. Good music, her best friend within arms reach, and no more finals until next week.

By the time the concert ends, she and April are more than a little sweaty, and March’s feet definitely hurt, but she doesn’t want the night to end. Without talking about it, they take the long way around the Pond on the way back to April’s dorm. They’re not holding hands anymore, but they walk close enough together that their arms and hands brush every third step.

March has goosebumps from the contact.

But eventually they get to April’s door, and she turns around in the doorway to say goodbye, face illuminated by the dim lights in the hallway, looking tired, but happy.

March takes a breath to gather some courage and steps a little closer.

“Night March, thanks for inviting me.”

“Thanks for saying yes,” she says. “I, um, had a really great time tonight,” and, with an even greater bout of courage, leans over and kisses her on the cheek. It’s only as she pulls away that she sees that April is completely frozen.

“Um. March?”

Oh fuck.

“Yeah?”

“...was this a date?” April’s basically whispering now.

March swallows. She could lie. She could get out of this, laugh it off. But. She’s done pretending she’s not ridiculously into her best friend.

“I thought so. I wanted it to be.”

April still looks shocked, gripping her door frame so tightly her fingers are white. And now March just needs to get out of there, courage leaving again.

“But. Clearly you weren’t on the same page, so I’ll just leave now. And we don’t have to talk about this ever again. Okay. Bye.”

March flees.

March makes it back to her dorm in record time. She thinks one of the girls asks her something as she passes their door, but she’s in a daze and just makes a bee line to her room.

All the energy she had buzzing under her skin as they walked around the Pond has completely evaporated, leaving her drained. She just collapses on her bed, staring, unseeing at the opposite wall.

She was so sure that she wasn’t reading the situation wrong. This’ll teach her to trust her gut. She thinks briefly about texting Adam and Justin, goes so far as opening up their thread, but can’t muster the energy to figure out what to say, and the screen goes black in her hand. She slumps over on her bed, mind static. She’s not sure how much time has passed when she hears a thumping on her door.

“March? Are you here? You weren’t answering your phone.”

It’s April.

She stumbles over to the door and opens up cautiously, not sure what she’s about to find on the other side.

Apparently, it started raining in the time between leaving April’s dorm and now, because her best friend is totally drenched, hair plastered to her head and clothes clinging to her body.

“Is it okay if I come in?”

“Sure sure sure no worries,” March says, voice too high and too fast to be remotely mistaken for casual. “April showers indeed.”

“Ha, yeah,” April chuckles weakly at the shittiest joke known to man and comes inside, rubbing her arms a little from the chill.

“Shit, here, take this,” says March, handing over a clean towel.

“Thanks.”

The silence is excruciatingly awkward. March finally understands the phrase, “could cut the tension with a knife.” April just wraps the towel around her shoulders, looking a little lost. Finally March can’t take the quiet any more.

“Look, nothing has to change.” She gulps and then forces out the bare truth. “I have a crush on you. I’ve had a crush on you basically since we met. I’ve been dealing with it. So, we can still hang out like always. Nothing has to change.”

Silence again. Then—

“What if I want things to change?” April’s whispered question seems to echo in the room. March’s heart stutters and sinks.

“Right. Of course. I totally understand if it’s weird for you. We don’t have to be friends anym–mmphff.”

Kissing. There is kissing. March is being kissed. March is being kissed by April.

Oh. Good change then.

March lets herself sink into the kiss, her arms settling around April’s hips, April’s hands cupping her jaw. They trade soft kisses back and forth for a bit before April pulls back just enough to separate their lips, keeping their foreheads touching. April’s eyes are shining with happiness. March knows hers are too.

“You should really have known you’d have to spell it out for me.”

“I really should have. I suddenly have a lot more sympathy for that guy from spring break.”

“Rude.”

March ducks in to kiss her quickly again, she can’t help it.

“Well then. April. I have a crush on you and you’re my best friend. Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

March isn’t sure who starts the next kiss, but is sure she doesn’t actually care.

It’s a while before there’s any more talking.

It’s okay.

They're finally on the same page.