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It was a whim that brought her to his doorstep. That was the most Riza Hawkeye was willing to allow herself. Rationally, she knew there had to be more to it than that. After all, she followed him for so long. She was loyal to him long after he abandoned his rank. Long after his dream abandoned him. If Riza were an outside observer watching another woman behave as she did, she would say that said woman was yearning for him—and that she was an utter fool to do so.
But that wasn’t her. She rejected that truth. It was just a whim. She just happened to be taking Black Hayate for a walk near Roy Mustang’s house—in the middle of the night, half-way across town from her apartment building. She just happened to see a light on and wanted to check in on an old friend.
Friend. Nothing else. Not even commanding officer. Not anymore.
He was taking a worryingly long time to answer the door. In her paranoia, Riza was tempted to bust the door down mere seconds after she knocked. She didn’t know if it was her training that alerted her, or merely the trauma of what she trained for that had her so keyed up. Black Hayate sensed her worry and was getting antsy as well.
“Sir!” she called out to him, even if she risked waking up the neighbors. It was better than busting down his door, she wagered. And thankfully it worked; she heard his heavy footsteps behind the door. Amazing that an alchemist was built like a brick house. Few would expect that from anyone not named Armstrong.
He opened the door, a thin chain lightly obscuring his sight of his visitor. Though, given the glazed look in his eye, there was something else obscuring his sight, too.
“Lieutenant.”
Yup. With a single world the whole damn neighborhood smelled like booze.
“Sir.” She greeted him with a salute. Black Hayate stood—well, sat—at attention as well.
“You outrank me. Remember?”
“Then you should invite me in, Corporal.”
A hint of a smile hit Roy’s lips. He closed the door and unlatched it before letting Riza inside.
“Wait here,” he instructed. Riza knew something was amiss, but she nodded her head.
His steps were uneven, and soon he had to place his hand against the wall to keep himself walking straight. Once he was past the short hallway, Riza hurried to his side. She managed to catch his waist just before he toppled over.
“I told you to wait, Lieutenant.”
“Just point me to your bedroom, sir.”
“Since when do you disobey direct orders?”
“I outrank you, sir.”
“That’s not-”
“Point me to your bedroom. That’s an order.”
Roy opened his mouth to argue again. But...
“Up the stairs, to the right."
Riza set Roy up in his bedroom. She laid him down and pried off his boots. He was still dressed to go out, and the soles of his boots were still wet from the rain earlier that night. She always thought of Roy... well, truth be told, the sentence could be end right there. But he was particularly on her mind whenever it rained. Was he safe? Was he taking care of himself?
When she walked out into his living room, she found the answer was a resounding “no.” She carefully picked up the gun that laid on the side-table next to his chair. She removed the magazine and racked the slide to expel the final cartridge, which rattled against the floor. She picked up the cartridge and pocketed it, along with the magazine, in her jacket. She stashed the gun under his couch. Somehow the bottle Roy must’ve emptied that night managed to roll under there as well. She grabbed it and brought it to the trash.
Riza wished she hadn’t caught sight of the label. She wasn’t much of a drinker, but even she knew that brand of whiskey was infamously cheap. He didn’t even love himself enough to get a decent drink before putting a bullet in his head.
Riza went back upstairs to check on Roy. Sound asleep, with Black Hayate laying on top of him. He must’ve been utterly shitfaced to fall asleep that quickly. Unless he... No. No, she wasn’t going to entertain the idea that he was comforted by her presence. It didn’t matter. He made it clear that he didn’t want her by his side anymore.
She settled into the chair in the corner of his room. There was a guest room, but there was no chance she was going to be getting any sleep if she didn’t stay nearby to keep an eye on Roy. She leaned back into the soft chair and tried to get some sleep.
She never felt so comfortable before. She’d never felt such a soft, plush mattress before. She never woke up to the smell of—
Roy. Where the hell was Roy? And why was she in bed? Riza’s eyes snapped open and she swiftly sat up. Her jacket was on the chair. She jumped out of bed and hurried over to it. The magazine was still there, but the cartridge... God damnit, where was that bullet?!
Riza rushed out the bedroom door. She made it halfway down the hall when the smell of bacon hit her nose. Unless someone broke into the Colonel’s home to cook breakfast, he was fine. Even so, Riza wasn’t able to breathe easy until she saw him in the kitchen.
He glanced over his shoulder at her, then turned and greeted her with a salute.
“Lieutenant.”
“...At ease.” God, that felt wrong. “I presume you’re the one that put me to bed.”
“Of course. I’d torch any other man who’d touch you,” he teased.
“Sir.”
“I never knew you were such a heavy sleeper.”
“Sir.” She wasn’t. Not usually.
Riza caught the hint of a smirk on the corner of his lips as he turned back toward the pan. It faded just as quickly as it came.
She walked up to Roy’s side and gave his arm a little smack with the back of her hand.
“You’re relieved from duty.”
“Thank God. Should I toss out these eggs?”
“Those are eggs?” Riza could barely stand to look at the plate.
“I’ll presume that’s a ‘yes.’”
“Please do, sir.”
Roy disposed of the eggs(?) while Riza took over. At least the bacon was in decent shape. He must have just started on it.
“I have some leftover ham in the fridge. Think Black Hayate would-”
On cue, Black Hayate’s paws could be heard rapidly tapping across the wood floor. His tail wagged behind him as he came into the kitchen, but he promptly stopped and sat down upon seeing his strict master.
Riza eyed her loyal companion for a moment, then feigned a sigh. “I suppose, if you have nothing else.”
Black Hayate was right back on all fours, tail whipping from side-to-side.
“Do you need me to carve off a piece, sir?”
“I don’t need you to babysit me, Lieutenant.”
They both fell silent. Roy grabbed the ham from the refrigerator and a knife from a drawer. Black Hayate laid down; ears flat against his head.
“...I’m sorry,” Roy finally spoke up while carving the ham.
“I apologize if I sounded condescending, sir.”
“You’re fine, Lieutenant. You’re helping me. You’re always helping me. Thank you.”
Riza removed the finished bacon from the pan. She grabbed an egg, then paused.
“I hope you don’t feel indebted to me.”
“How can I not?” he answered while Riza cracked a few eggs. She did it perfectly. How the hell was she a domestic goddess on top of everything else?
“You don’t owe me a thing, sir.”
“Why not? You do everything for me. And I do nothing but cause you trouble. I can’t even pretend I’ll reward you after I’ve fulfilled my ambitions. I’m as useless as... Well, as myself on a rainy day.”
“You saved us from an army invading from another world, then you closed the gate leading to said world. You would be a Major General if you had accepted the promotion offered to you.”
“FullMetal saved us, as usual. Besides, there’s no more ‘top’ to aim for, so I don’t see the point in a promotion.”
“That’s beside the point. I suspect you know that.”
The kitchen was silent again, save for the sizzle of the eggs. Roy finished up carving and cutting up a good hunk of ham for Black Hayate, while Riza plated the eggs.
“Damn, I forgot to start the coffee. I think I have some oranges I can juice.”
“I can do it, sir.”
“No, please. Let me do this much for you, at least.”
Riza was saddened by how desperate he sounded, but she nodded.
Riza was a little surprised how well-stocked his fridge and cupboard were, given what he was planning the previous night. Did he end up with a gun in his hands on a whim? Which of the many tragedies in his life was he thinking of in that moment? She wanted to know what was on his mind. She wanted to know how she could help him heal. But she wasn’t a healer. She didn’t know how to tend to the wounds in his heart without ripping them open wider.
“Eat before it gets cold, Lieutenant,” Roy said, and placed a glass of juice in front of her. Riza hadn’t realized how lost in thought she was. Given the look on Roy’s face, he guessed what she was thinking about. What else would it be, after all?
“Thank you, sir.”
Roy dropped into his seat across from Riza. “Stop. Seriously, just... Please, stop calling me ‘sir.’ Please.”
“...Yes, Mr. Mustang.”
Roy laughed. “You know, when we first met, I never would have guessed you’d be so stubborn.”
Riza’s only reply was a faint smile.
“I’ll see you to the door.”
“Kicking me out already, Mr. Mustang? I was going to do the dishes.”
“You have work, don’t you? Besides, you cooked, I’ll clean.”
“I have this weekend off.”
“Oh. Our days off synced up for once.”
“It seems they have.”
The kitchen was silent again. Truly silent this time. Black Hayate laid lazily on the floor, content with his meal. Roy wordlessly collected the dishes and brought them to the sink.
“So, what is the plan from here?” Roy asked while he cleaned.
“I wish I knew,” Riza replied, still sitting at the table.
“I’m fine now. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going to try that again.”
Riza’s was silent. What could she say to that? Well, she knew. But should she push him?
“I know you don’t believe me. I guess I haven’t given you much reason to trust me, these last few years. I abandoned you. For that, I can’t apologize enough.”
“...The bullet. Where is it?”
Roy dried off his hand and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the cartridge, and tossed it over his shoulder, into Riza’s hand. Even in moments like this, they were in sync.
“I wanted to keep it as a reminder. That’s all,” he flatly explained himself, then resumed cleaning.
“You already torture yourself enough.”
“Ha. Perhaps.”
Riza tucked the cartridge into her pocket. She took a deep breath, gathering the courage to continue speaking her mind.
“I missed you.”
The dishes clattered. Riza’s chair skidded against the floor as she shot up to her feet.
“I... I missed you, too,” Roy said, voice trembling. “I... God, what was I thinking?” Roy pressed his face into his palm, fingers caught up in his bangs.
“Si--Mr. Mustang.” She slowly walked.
“I’m a goddamned fool.”
“You’re hurting. There’s no shame in that.”
“I almost left you. Again. Forever.”
“Don’t blame yourself. Please.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Riza came to his side. She reached for the hand that covered Roy’s face.
“Sir... Mr. Mustang... Roy. Please don’t hide your face from me.”
She gently pulled, and Roy relented. She held his hand in both of her own, her thumb soothingly brushing over the back of his knuckles. His eye was filled with sorrow, but he managed a smile for her.
Anything for her.
“I was starting to think you didn’t know my name.”
That got a small chuckle out of Riza. With his free hand, Roy brushed some stray bangs from her face.
“Is it appropriate to hold a subordinate’s hand like this, ma’am?” he asked, while clasping his hand around hers.
“I’ll be sure to have myself court martialed, sir.”
“Ha! You really are quite stubborn, Lieutenant.”
Riza lowered her gaze. She drew his hand closer, until the back of his fingers touched her forehead. She closed her eyes and recalled the last time she felt his touch. “What was it you said to me? ‘The world isn’t perfect.’” She paused and placed a kiss on the back of his fingers. “’That’s what makes it so damn beautiful.’”
“How does the soap taste?” Roy asked, his eye averted. When Riza opened her eyes, she was treated with the rare sight of a blush on the infamous Flame Alchemist’s cheeks.
“Bitter.”
Roy’s smile and his eye regained some of their light. He lifted his hand from hers and placed it on her cheek. She released his other hand, allowing him to hold the other cheek as well. He gazed into her beautiful brown eyes; the eyes that had been watching his back for all those years.
“As long as you’re in it, this world the most beautiful place I can imagine.”
Though he said such sweet words, she sensed his hesitation to act upon them. She grabbed the sides of his shirt. He stepped closer. God, he really was built more like a soldier than a scientist.
“Lieutenant.”
“Colonel.”
“Heh. You know that’s not-”
“Shut up.”
“I can’t,” Roy protested as he drew closer; close enough that his warm breath brushed over Riza’s lips. “If I stop talking, then I’m going to do something very, very foolish.”
“That’s nothing new for you, sir.”
“But highly uncharacteristic of you, Lieutenant.”
“You’re rubbing off on me, sir.”
Roy’s lips lingered near hers. He then heaved a sigh and straightened himself. He lowered his hands from Riza’s cheeks and rest them on her shoulders.
“I’m sorry.”
“I understand, sir,” Riza replied with a crooked smile. She couldn’t hide her disappointment, but she still looked up at Roy with softer eyes than she showed anyone else.
She moved her hands from the sides of Roy’s body to the sides of his face, brushing away his bangs. Roy, in turn, settled his large hands on her hips.
“I still have your back, sir,” Riza promised. “I always will.”
It was Roy’s turn to show an awkward smile. If Equivalent Exchange was truly how the world worked, then Roy didn’t want to know what he had to exchange to have a woman like Riza in his life.
“I can never thank you enough, Lieutenant.”
“You can start by learning how to cook for yourself.”
“Heh. Care to give me a few lessons?”
“I suppose someone has to.”
She gave his chest a light shove to make some space. She proceeded to instruct him on properly frying an egg. It was a good distraction.
In the end, that’s all the day was; a distraction from two tumultuous lives. That was all it could be. That was all it needed to be. Neither of them had an answer for Roy’s troubles. But they had each other.
For the moment, that was enough.