Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You weren’t exactly sure how you’d managed to get roped into helping with this party. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Nadia had asked, and even though you’d only known her for a couple of months, you found that it was difficult to tell Nadia no. Even if she did sometimes have unrealistic expectations for you and the rest of the sorority members. 

Someone backed into you from behind, making you jump and spill a great splash of pomegranate juice all over the counter and the floor around your feet. Thankfully it seemed you’d missed your clothes, a good thing too given the soft blue shirt you had on. It was one of your favourites and you knew the stain would have never come out. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” Portia exclaimed.

Her red curls bounced as she turned around, ripping paper towels off of the roll to begin soaking up the juice. You’d only lost about a third of the carafe, and at least it hadn’t been the whole punch bowl in front of you that had gone. Portia’s face flushed a light red from embarrassment or maybe it was just from the heat; having so many people packed into the sorority house for the party had made the air stifling. “It’s fine, it’s fine.”

Portia smiled up at you, obviously relieved to know you weren’t angry. It would have been hard to be angry with her. Besides Portia being your best friend, everyone was flustered and in a rush tonight trying to host one of the biggest college parties of the year. Omega Phi Alpha, the sorority you’d joined during rush at the end of the previous year, never ever hosted parties. Until two weeks ago when Nadia had announced they’d be doing just that at the weekly community meeting. It felt like everyone was flying blind trying to figure out what to do and be the gracious hosts that Nadia expected them to be.

Portia had bumped into you carrying a large tray of empty beer bottles and plastic cups that she began dumping into the trash as soon as she’d thrown her used paper towels away. No doubt the ground would be sticky from the juice, but she’d gotten most of the mess. Neither of you exactly have time to waste trying to mop it up right then between making sure someone restocked the beverage table and keeping drunk party-goers from breaking anything valuable.

“I thought this was supposed to be fun,” Portia groaned. “All I’ve done tonight is clean up other people’s messes.”

“I suppose it’s fun for them,” you answered, gesturing out toward the main room. You poured the rest of the carafe into the punch bowl, stirring the mixture together with the ladle you had at the ready. “Let’s never let Nadia talk us into this again.”

“Mhm,” Portia hummed matter-of-factly.

“Talk you into what?” You turned around sharply at the sound of Nadia’s voice, feeling your cheeks pink in embarrassment. You hadn’t meant to speak ill of her, that hadn’t even been your intention, but you couldn’t help but feel as if the conversation could have been taken poorly by her. However, you were relieved to see just the hint of a smile on Nadia’s lips. “The two of you have been working diligently,” Nadia told the both of you, “why don’t you go enjoy yourselves? I can take care of this.”

Nadia came toward you, taking the ladle out of your grasp and beginning to stir the punch herself. “Are you sure? We really don’t mind,” Portia rushed to say. It seemed she was just as embarrassed as you were.

Nadia’s eyes switched between the two of you before she nodded. “Yes, of course.” Looking at you knowingly, Nadia added, “I believe I saw Asra make an appearance. He’s probably still here if you can find him.”

You glanced toward the kitchen door, surprised by Nadia’s words. While Asra was a member of Omega Phi Alpha’s brother fraternity, parties weren’t exactly his preferred place to be. You’d gone to a handle full of parties the year before when you were looking to pledge, but Asra had refrained from going to each one. Despite that, over the last year, the two of you had grown close after he’d sat with you during lunch on one of your first days.

The transition from high school to college had been rough on you with no one you knew and a multitude of new faces. You’d taken to sitting in the corner of the cafeteria by one of the large bay windows that flooded with sun during the lunch hour. You’d seen Asra around, hard not to with his snowy white hair and bright clothes, but you’d never expected him to sit down with you. He almost always had small gaggle of people around him, but when he sat down, he was blessedly alone and brought a bright smile.

He’d taken you under his wing since then, helping you acclimate to college at Vesuvia University. You suspected he’d been the one of put your name in Nadia’s mind because she’d approached you out of the blue just after the holidays last year with an invitation to join some of Omega Phi Alpha’s pre-pledge festivities. If he had, you could hardly fault him; it introduced you to Nadia and Portia both, and you didn’t know what you’d have done without either of them.

“Shoo, the both of you,” Nadia waved her hand, striking the ladle on the side of the bowl so that it didn’t drip all over the countertop. She picked up the punchbowl, herding the two of you into the main room. Nadia broke away almost immediately, headed toward her buffet table to deposit the new batch of punch.

Portia watched her go for a moment before shrugging. “Guess we get to enjoy ourselves now. I’m going to grab some food. I’ll meet up with you?”

“Oh, of course,” you answered, although you weren’t sure how. The Omega Phi house teemed with people. Apparently the sorority that never threw parties was the place to be when they finally decided to play hosts. It was difficult to navigate around the living room, slipping in and out of people. Despite the chill autumn weather outside, the house had filled with heat. You almost regretted having to leave the calm of the kitchen.

The parlour ended up being just as crowded when you finally managed to weave your way there. People had pulled out the bench to the piano sitting on it and a few people sitting on the closed keyboard. It made you cringe to see them treating it so disrespectfully. Were people always this rude at parties? Had you just not noticed? But thankfully, the side door to the house was blissfully free of people. You made your way towards it, more than happy to push it open and step out into the darkness of the lawn.

The Omega Phi house sat in the middle of a residential neighbourhood, a few blocks from campus. The twinkling lights on the chapel’s steeple stood out against the darkness of the sky, just visible over the houses and between the trees. Thankfully, people hadn’t spilled out from the house into the lawn yet, and you had the chance to breathe, letting the chill air fill your lungs.

“Looking for some air?” You startled at the sound of a voice, speaking from the dark. Apparently it was the day for people to sneak up on you. Squinting, you saw someone seated on the swinging bench a few feet to your left. “I’m afraid you’ll have to put up with me. I was here first.” Not recognising the voice, you took a few steps into the lawn, waving your hands wildly above your head until the floodlight above the door came on, casting the yard in light. “Aw, damn, the hell?”

The man leaned forward, using his hands to shield his eyes from the light. It seemed he’d been there for some time, having grown accustomed to the darkness. His darkwashed jeans and black knit sweater had made him blend into the night well. Deep auburn curls framed his face, and he tilted his head up, eyes still guarded under his hand to squint up toward you, smirk stretched across his lips. You saw then that an eyepatch stretched across his face, covering his left eye.

While you’d never met Julian Devorak before, it wasn’t hard to recognise him from the description that other students had provided; an eyepatch wasn’t exactly a common future among the students at Vesuvia. Despite Julian being a member of Alpha Psi Omega, you’d never run into him before, not even when visiting Asra at their fraternity house. “Julian, right?” you asked. No harm in making sure.

Julian’s eye stretched wide in surprise for a moment, before his smirk settled back in place. “My reputation proceeds me.” He seemed pleased by that notion. Pushing his tangle of curls back from his face, Julian leaned back against the bench. “Care to join me?”

You glanced around the lawn, unsure. While, yes, you had heard of Julian Devorak, the stories weren’t exactly the nicest and the smirk he’d wore wasn’t exactly inviting. However, his expression had softened while he watched you consider your options, making him just the slightest bit more approachable. You couldn’t help but admit, quietly and only to yourself, that he was attractive. Before you could make your decision, the light turned back off, leaving the two of you in the dark; Julian laughed.

Letting out a long but silent breath, you made your way the few feet toward the bench, knowing your way despite the dark. “Why are you out here? Shouldn’t you be inside living it up?” Rumour number one about Julian Devorak? He never turned down a party, or alcohol.

“Not tonight,” Julian admitted. As your eyes adjusted to the dark, you could see the shine of his own reflected back at you. He’d angled his body toward you, legs crossed and leaning back into the side of the bench. “Too many people and most of them don’t like me.” Rumour number two about Julian Devorak? He had a bit of a violent streak. While you didn’t know the details, he’d had a physical altercation with the previous president of Alpha Psi Omega; he hadn’t been removed from the fraternity, but it certainly had given hi a good reputation.

Seeing this Julian with his cocky smile and surefire attitude, you could certainly see why others didn’t like him. Confidence could be attractive in people, but Julian’s seemed more akin to an overzealous narcissist. You weren’t even sure why you were out still out there with him.

“I wonder why,” you couldn’t help but find yourself saying dismissively.

Julian frowned over at you, brow creased unhappily. “Yes, well, crowds aren’t exactly my forte. I much prefer quiet engagements like this one. I don’t believe I caught your name.” Straightening himself out, Julian leaned forward. He didn’t press close, didn’t invade your space, but his eye watched you raptly. Uncertain, but not really seeing the harm, you give him your first name, watching him as he repeated it quietly, more for himself. In a moment his eye lit up with recognition. “You’re Asra’s little protege.”

“What do you mean?”

Julian smiled, but it wasn’t the cocky smirk he’d been throwing toward you all night. “Asra always has good things to say,” Julian reassured you. “He says you’re quite brilliant, top of your class.” While it warmed you to hear that Asra talked about you it was also strange to hear those praises come from a virtual stranger. “Does he know you’re out here talking to me?”

Good question. You had been intending to look for Asra when you’d left the kitchen but the thick crowd of people had pushed you toward the exit door instead. “I don’t even know if he’s here,” you admitted. While you didn’t think Nadia would lie to you, it was possible that Asra had come and gone already.

“He’s around somewhere; all of Alpha Psi Omega is. We had to come out to support our sister sorority.” He gave you a wink at that, smiling pleasantly. “I’d love to keep you out here to myself, I really would,” Julian’s eye darted over you, and you were immediately reminded of the last rumour about him. Rumour number three about Julian Devorak? He’s a notorious flirt. His grin widened as he looked at you, and you weren’t sure whether to be angry or flattered by his attention. Rumour in mind, you decided not to pay much attention to it. His gaze came up to rest on yours. “We should get you inside. You look like you could freeze out here, and I’d hate to have Asra angry with me when you catch a cold.”

You felt the need to protest about catching a cold, but he was right. The air outside bit into your skin, and you hadn’t brought a coat with you; while it had been nice to get out of the house’s heat at first, now you only felt cold. Julian’s sweater would be able to keep him warm outside, but you were dressed in just your Omega Phi t-shirt and shorts, not exactly warm. As if to prove a point, you had to suppress a shiver, holding your arms over your chest.

Julian just smiled knowingly, raising his brow in question. “Yup, definitely time to get you inside.” He reached over, rubbing his hands up and down your arms to conduct some heat, pushing you to standing at the same time. You didn’t protest, letting him guide you inside with a hand on the small of your back. “Oh!” he exclaimed suddenly, pausing just before opening the door, “before I forget.” He reached around to his back pocket, pulling out a small index card that he slid carefully into your hand. “My number. You never know when you’ll need it.”

He didn’t lie either. Printed neatly on the card was a set of numbers with his name written in neat cursive underneath. If he’d written them, his handwriting was rather impressive. “Do you just carry these around with you?” Regardless, you tucked the small square into your own pocket.

Julian reached out to pull open the door, cheeks darkening at your comment. He shrugged his shoulders even as he opened the door for you, but you could tell he was embarrassed by your call-out. You couldn’t help but laugh, patting his chest.

“No judgements.”

“I do feel rather judged.”

You laughed again, smiling up at him. He seemed surprised to see it, colour in his face darkening as he ducked his head, returning your smile. In the bright lights of the house, he appeared smaller, less grandiose. In fact, if you could say so, he appeared nervous and shy, shuffling his hands before tucking them into his pockets. You didn’t have time to comment before someone shouted your name, catching your attention.

Asra. You saw him across the room, having just stepped into the parlour. He stood out against the rest of the crowd for the same reasons he always stood out, white hair against the browns and blonds. His amber shirt didn’t exactly match with his complexion, but you could hardly fault him for wearing his fraternity colours at a greek event.

Asra weaved his way through the people in that graceful way he always had. As he made his way over, you could see the exact moment that his expression soured when he caught sight of Julian at your side. “Hello, Asra, I -” Julian began before Asra stopped in front of the two of you.

“Were just leaving?” he asked, cutting Julian off. Asra’s expression remained hard before turning toward you and softening. He took your hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze with a smile.

Uncertain you glanced from Asra to Julian, caught off-guard by the hurt in Julian’s expression. His own eyes were fixed on Asra who wouldn’t look at him before they darted to you. He gave you a forced smile, but you could see it wobble sadly at the corners. “Yes, I should - I’ll go.”

Julian darted away without saying anything else. You watched him go even as you felt Asra’s eyes on you. Asra only let you look for a moment before he began tugging softly on your hand. You let him guide you out of the parlour. When you entered the living room, he pressed up close, “Would you like to dance?” he asked lips brushing against your ear.

You just shook you head. Something about the last few minutes made you feel inexplicably exhausted. You just wanted to curl up in bed where it was warm and try to puzzle out what Julian could have possible done to make Asra so cold toward him. You’d never seen Asra treat someone so dismissively before.

Asra seemed to accept your decline, knowing exactly what you needed in that moment. He tugged you toward the stairs, guiding you into your bedroom on the second floor. The nice thing about this whole party was that no one appeared to have decided to go upstairs. You pulled out your key, unlocking the door to your room. Asra pulled you inside before letting go and flopping down on your bed, feet hanging over the edge.

You went around to the other side, tugging off your shoes before joining him. For a few minutes the two of you laid on the bed, side by side, just breathing. Eventually, Asra rolled himself onto his side, facing you, head propped up on his hand. “You seem upset. Is it the party?”

You glanced over to the side toward Asra. “Why do you hate Julian so much?”

Of all the things you expected, Asra seeming so completely unphased by the question wasn’t exactly one of them. His lips pursed, and a frown creased the space between his eyes, but he didn’t seem surprised that you asked. “You’ve heard the stories about him. He’s not exactly the best person around, and I don’t like the idea of him talking to you alone.”

“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t talk to, Asra.” You words didn’t hold any bite. You didn’t believe that Asra would actually ever try to police who you interacted with.

Letting out a breath, Asra nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.”

You laid out your hand as an open invitation, and Asra took it gladly, a smile on his face. Changing the conversation he asked, “How will Nadia feel about you sneaking off in the middle of her important party?”

You groaned, covering your eyes with your free arm. “I don’t care.” You turned over to lay on your stomach. It meant having to let go of Asra’s hand, but you linked your fingers back together as soon as you resettled. Affection lingered in his gaze as he looked down at you, warming you inside. However, thought of the party quickly resoured your thoughts. “Ugh, did you know this is all just practice? Nadia wants to throw a big party at the end of the year. Bigger than this one.”

Asra looked surprised. “Nadia wants to have another masquerade?”

“That’s what she calls it, yeah.”

“I hadn’t heard that. The masquerade used to be the biggest greek event of the year,” Asra explained. His gaze unfocused, staring over your shoulder toward the wall. You could practically see him imagining the event in his mind. “It’s used to be a collaboration between Alpha Psi and Omega Phi.” His gaze settled on you, back in the present. He smiled. “It’s the only party that I ever really enjoyed.”

“Why’d they stop doing it?” You hadn’t even heard of the masquerade before Nadia had brought it up a month ago. If it was such a big event, it didn’t make sense not to have it anymore. The question caused Asra’s smile to slip, and your curiosity only increased.

Asra looked down, running his fingers over the back of your hand. “A bit of a scandal, honestly. Julian was involved. Everything was a bit messy. It was one of the worst nights of my life. I’d rather not talk about it.”

Regret filled your chest, making your stomach turn. The curiosity didn’t dissipate, and you felt bad about that. Something told you this wasn’t the end of the conversation. You suspected that the rumour about Julian scaring another student from campus might have had something to do with it as well, scandal and all. But now wasn’t the time to ask. You covered Asra’s hand with your own, giving him a gentle squeeze until he smiled at you, violet eyes sad. “I’m sorry I asked.”

“No, don’t be sorry. You have a right to wonder. I brought it up.”

“Do you even want to be part of it this year if there’s bad memories?”

Asra didn’t answer immediately, seeming to consider the question. Eventually he met your eyes. “I’d like to create new memories of the masquerade, with you.”

You smiled over at him. “I’d like that.”

A gentle tangle of heat and contentment lingered between the two of you. Asra laid his head down on one of your other pillows, the two of you facing each other, sharing breath. His eyes locked on yours, holding your gaze with affection. For a moment it looked like he wanted to say something, maybe lean in and kiss you, but before he could, the bedroom door burst open.

You sat up immediately, Portia standing in the doorway, hand on her hip. She didn’t seem at all perturbed for having burst in on the two of you, and you were mildly annoyed with her for doing so. You’d waited what felt like ages for Asra to make a move that didn’t involve just handholding only to have the perfect opportunity dashed by your friend. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere! Nadia has most of the guests leaving, thank someone, but we need help cleaning up. Snap to it!” Portia darted back out of the doorway as quickly as she’d come, leaving the door hanging open. Less than a second later her head popped back into the doorway, eyes crinkled up in a smile. “Hiya, Asra.”

“Hello, Portia.” She gave a little wave before bouncing away again. You groaned, flopping back down on the bed. “Sounds like duty calls,” Asra told you, smile in his voice and on his face. His amusement soothed your annoyance.

“Apparently.” You rolled your eyes as Asra pulled himself to his feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Asra threw you another smile before disappearing out the door. You took a minute or two to breathe and straighten your clothes before heading downstairs to help with the cleanup.

Chapter Text

You didn’t see Asra at all the next day. It wasn’t exactly uncommon. As a Junior, Asra’s schedule tended to be fairly tight. He’d done his best to schedule many of his upper level intensive classes into the year, leaving his Senior year to focus on less academic pursuits. While Asra hadn’t said anything, you had the feeling that he wanted to be Alpha Psi president his Senior year. Less so because he actually wanted the responsibility and more so because nobody else seemed to want the job.

Standing outside the Alpha PSi fraternity house, you headed up the familiar steps. Despite their absent president and lacking organisation, the members of Alpha Psi kept their house in great condition. Last year they’d redone all the siding, and their greek letters were displayed prominently above the entrance in amber paint. You pushed open the front door without any trouble, open door policy and all that. The house sat quiet, afternoon light coming in through the windows. Someone upstairs had their stereo going, but the sound was faint. You headed up the stairs toward Asra’s room but paused at the top landing when Julian appeared from the bathroom at the end of the hall. He looked surprised to see you, eye stretching wide before he scrambled to pull his eyepatch on. You hadn’t seen his other eye, obscured by curls of red hair, and wondered briefly what about it Julian felt the need to hide.

Clearly he’d just stepped out of the shower, the tips of his curls dripping into the towel he had strung around his neck. A fine trail of red hair stretched across his chest to the low-riding line of his sweatpants. Perhaps the most appealing part of his appearance was the way his cheeks darkened, eye down-turned in embarrassment. You couldn’t help but feel it was rather cute.

“He’s, uh, not here,” Julian said, pulling you out of your thoughts. He raised his eye to meet your gaze and shifted to dip his head toward Asra’s door. “He left when I stepped into the shower; not sure when he’ll be back.”

Right. Asra. You felt a wash of shame for the way your eyes had strayed over Julian while you’d been there to see Asra. Did your affections change so easily? The night before you’d wanted nothing more than for Asra to lean forward and kiss you, and now you’d spent more than a few seconds admiring Julian right outside of Asra’s door. Then again, it had been a year, and Asra had yet to make any advances toward you farther than holding hands. Maybe it was about time you came to terms with the fact that he may only feel friendship toward you.

“Do you want to - that is - would you like to come in? While you wait?” Julian stumbled over his words. He gestured toward his own door, just two doors down from Asra’s. You glanced over Asra’s shut door, his name painted in colourful script, a contrast against Julian’s name stamped in black block lettering above his own. A whole year of visiting Asra’s room and you’d never even noticed Julian’s just a few doors down.

“I’d love to,” you finally answered. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Asra’s told you it was a bad idea, but you ignored it, easy to do with the blinding smile Julian shot your way at your reply. He ushered you in, leaving the door open to the hall.

Julian’s room was painted in the blue Alpha Psi Omega colour that the rest of the house shared. His bed was pushed up against the far wall, blankets rumpled from when he’d last slept there. The rest of the room contained typical university furniture, a wardrobe and dresser along with a desk and chair. Behind the door, facing the window, Julian had a papasan couch set up, more than big enough for two or three people.

“Sit wherever you’d like,” Julian told you quickly. He stepped in front of the wardrobe, pulling out a white button up that he began putting on. It clashed with the sweats he wore, but you weren’t about to judge him for what he chose to wear in his own room. Shirt on, the first few buttons undone and pulled apart in the middle, he turned back to you while you decided on the couch; you couldn’t help but melt into the softness of the faux suede cushion.

Julian smiled at your obvious enjoyment, settling down into the basket as well. Despite the side, the basket shape caused him to slide down closer to you. “This is great,” you couldn’t help but tell him, “I really need one of my own.”

“You’re welcome to come sit in it whenever you’d like.” He leaned back, one leg dangling over the edge, the other pulled up under him. Head tilted up, he closed his eye, relaxing into the couch. After a moment, he faced you, eye popping back open in a squint. Pulling your legs up to tuck them beneath you, you let your fingers spread across the soft suede. “How were your classes?”

“Normal,” you answered. It’s true. It may have been a Monday, but the day had been quiet. Briefly, you felt a wave of relief that you can’t partaken in any of the drinking the night before. In retrospect, you’re not entirely sure why Nadia felt it was a good idea to throw a Sunday party. How many people had overindulged and not attended class that day?

“Normal is good.”

You mumbled your assent. “What’s your major?” you asked. Of all the rumours you’ve heard about Julian over the last year, none of them had been particularly nice, and you felt like there was more to the man than what people said. The sadness in his eye during his confrontation with Asra the night before certainly spoke of that. Clearly he wasn’t oblivious to the rumours, and they must have been hard to hear, especially when that was all people said about you.

“Theater, of course.” Julian spread his arms around in a large sweeping motion. He smiled slightly to himself, returning his arms to his sides. “No, that’s not true, I wish it were sometimes, but I think my parents would actually murder me, and I don’t say that lightly. I’m pre-med,” he finally answered. “I’d like to go to Columbia University after, but, I don’t know.”

“You have time,” you said softly, feeling like he needed to hear it. “You’re only a Junior, right?”

“You’re much too kind. There are still exams and classes to pass. I’m not sure that I’m good enough for Columbia besides.” Something about the way Julian spoke gave you the feeling he didn’t talk about this with people a lot. It felt as if he were bearing his insecurities to you, confiding in you, probably because no one else would listen. “I’ve really dampened the mood, haven’t I?” He laughed at himself, but he didn’t sound amused.

You smiled over at him, wanting to push reassurances at him. “Nothing to worry about.”

“What about you, rising star of the psychology department? What are your hopes and dreams?”

Grin widening, you couldn’t help but let him in on the secret. “I’m not a psychology major.” Julian’s head turned back to the side watching you with interest. His red curls fanned out of the cushion. You knew exactly what he was thinking, mind going back to the conversation the two of you had had the night before. “‘Asra’s little protege’,” you added finger quotes when you said it. “I’m an English major. I’ve never even taken a psychology class. I think it’s interesting and all, but I’m not that interested. Besides, everything I want to know, I can just ask Asra.”

“Then how-?”

“He found me during lunch. I work for the school paper and the literary magazine both of which Asra follows pretty religiously, not to mention that we’re friends. Of course, he knows how I’m doing in my classes.” For the second time that day, Julian’s cheeks reddened, making you nudge him playfully. It caused him to smile back at you, so you counted that as a win.

“I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s fine.”

Julian leaned forward into your space. He wasn’t uncomfortably close, but you already had the feeling that your personal bubble had begun to shrink around him. Normally you didn’t feel this comfortable around people so quickly. “Your name is really quite divine. I don’t think I said that yesterday.”

“It’s just a normal name.”

“No,” Julian replied, shaking his head. “On you it’s entirely unique.”

Smiling coyly, you watched Julian out of the corner of your eyes, purposely not meeting his gaze directly. He, on the other hand, was entirely focused on you, body tuned toward your own, undivided attention in a way you’d only ever had from Asra. “Are you trying to flatter me, Mr. Devorak?”

“Whatever gives you that impression?” Julian’s expression in that moment was oh, so tempting. It would have been easy to lean into his space, to close the distance between the two of you. You were certain the action would fluster him, to have you take the lead, and you found yourself rather fond of the idea of putting that colour back into his cheeks. 

Before you could to make a choice, the bedroom door burst open leaving Portia standing smartly in the doorway, hand on her hip and exasperation in her eyes. The expression quickly changed to one of surprise when she saw you sitting there. You couldn’t help but be equally as shocked. 

“Pasha!” Julian exclaimed next to you. Looking at Julian, you saw that flush you’d just been thinking about colouring his cheeks, but for an entirely different reason that you’d wanted it there. Were - were Julian and Portia a thing? Certainly she would have told you if that were the case. You’d never even heard her mention Julian’s name before, but her confidence coming into the room told you it wasn’t an abnormal occurrence. 

“Ilya! You have company!”

“Ilya?” you asked, glancing at him.

“A nickname,” he replied quickly, hand out toward you placatingly. His legs untangled from where he’d had them under him. “Pasha, could you come back later? I have company.” He emphasised the last word, copying her phrasing. He gave her a shooing motion.

Confused and feeling more than a bit uncomfortable, you jumped to your feet without preamble. “No, no! I won’t get in the way of, uh, this,” you gestured between the two of them. Julian looked torn between wanting to coax you back down onto the couch and not wanting to cross any boundaries. It left him frozen between getting up, hand stretched toward you for a second before he noticed what he was doing and curled up on himself. “I’ll just - bye.”

You darted around Portia and out the door before either of them could stop you. You saw the way that Portia’s expression twisted up when you passed, and you knew she only worried that she’d upset you. In a way, she had, but you couldn’t blame her. You weren’t even entirely sure what you were feeling in that moment. You walked quickly past Asra’s door, still firmly shut; clearly not back yet.

You stepped out into the autumn sunlight, glad you hadn’t shed your jacket while in the Alpha Psi house. Portia and Julian’s voices followed you all the way out the door, and it’s almost as if they faded away the moment you stepped out into the open air. You let yourself breathe for just a moment, the street thankfully deserted. You started down the sidewalk, feet taking you toward campus, unsure of where you wanted to go, but a flood of embarrassment and discomfort and maybe even a bit of jealousy, telling you away.

You only made it a few steps before someone grabbed your arm, just below the elbow. Turning around, you weren’t at all surprised to see Julian standing on the sidewalk with you. Having caught your attention, he dropped your arm immediately, taking a careful half-step back to give you space. He’d managed to throw on a coat before following after you, the dark fabric looking soft against his pale skin. Over his shoulder, you saw Portia standing in the doorway of the Alpha Psi house looking sheepish.

“You really don’t need to say anything,” you told him, watching but not meeting his gaze. 

You saw the way Julian’s eyes strayed back toward the house. Portia threw an encouraging thumbs up, but his gaze had already settled back on you. “Pasha’s my sister.” Julian said the words in a rush. It took you a moment to replay them in your head.

“Sister?”

You glanced over toward Portia again, and she immediately pointed at her head. You squinted your eyes, not understanding, glancing between the two of them for uncomfortably long seconds before understanding burst over you like a flood of water. Now that you knew what it look for, it was painfully obvious the two were related, particularly with their similarities with their unruly heads of red hair. “Sister,” Julian repeated uncertainly. “I’m not exactly well-liked around here. I think you’ve noticed,” his lips twisted up in a bittersweet smile when he said it before continuing, “so I don’t let people know. I don’t want them to judge her because of the things I’ve done.”

You rolled the words over in your head. Portia had mentioned having an older brother, but you hadn’t imagined that he’d also gone to Vesuvia! She had made it sound like he was some dark sheep of the family that she never talked to anymore. Clearly not the case. You also knew that Portia housed a big heart. She would have hated pretending Julian wasn’t her brother but knew she would have if he asked it of her.

Seeming to think that the conflict was over, Portia bounced her way closer. She gave you a quick hug that you were happy enough to return. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said, looking truly apologetic. You couldn’t help but feel silly now and just a tad like you may have overreacted. You said as much, taking on a similar sheepishness to Portia’s own. “No! I understand,” Portia rushed to reply. “I’m just glad Ilya has a new friend.” She nudged her brother’s side with her elbow while she said it, smirking up at him. 

Julian, at the very least, didn’t blush that time, instead turning to glare at his sister. “No thanks to you.” Attention back to you only a moment later, he smiled, hands digging into his pockets. “Would you like to come back upstairs?”

You let out a long sigh. You’d have liked to, although the heat between you and Julian had definitely cooled for the moment. “I should get back to the house. I was only planning to stop for a few minutes.” Which was true. You had a feeling Asra had gotten caught up in the library on the research project he’d been working on, and you had plenty of homework to start on yourself. Julian’s expression visibly fell at your answer; you felt the need to reassure him but resisted the temptation. You knew you needed to sort out your feelings for him as they certainly hadn’t been something you’d planned on. Then there were always your feelings for Asra to contend with.

Julian reached forward to take your hand, kissing your knuckles softly. He smirked up at you from his bowed position. “Well, then I do hope we run into each other again.”

Chapter Text

You weren’t exactly sure how, but at some point over the next week, Asra found out you’d been to see Julian. It hadn’t exactly become a frequent thing, your run-ins with Julian. In fact, you hadn’t even seen him since the day you’d missed Asra at the Alpha Psi house. You knew why you hadn’t gone out of your way to tell Asra though, and it was because of the cold way he’d spoken to Julian at the party the week before.

Your day had been going so well too.

The thing about Asra was that he didn’t storm around. You’d only seen him upset a handful of times, and you’d definitely never seen him angry, but you could tell he felt somewhere in the middle by the pinch of his brows when he sat down at the table across from you at lunch. You’d been sitting in your normal sunny spot by the window, luxuriating in the warmth while sipping on a cup of tea and finishing up a reading you needed done for your next class. Asra slid into his spot across from you, setting down his plate and glass of water, eyes focused on his food. Glancing over, you waited for him to say something, but when he didn’t and instead started into his lunch, you returned your gaze toward your reading. You might even have the time to finish it up before Asra decided to open up about what was upsetting him.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. The bustle of the cafeteria around you became an almost pleasant buzz of noise that you rather enjoyed. Eventually, Asra set down his fork, still looking down at his food, curls of white hair obscuring his gaze. “I heard you’re dating Julian Devorak.”

You looked up over the top of the papers in your hand before setting them down. You weren’t surprised by Asra’s upset or the fact he’d found out about you spending time with Julian. You were rather impressed the rumour had already escalated past friends to dating though. You said as much. “I went to see you actually. You weren’t in your room, and Julian invited me to sit down for a little bit. We talked, Asra.” You paused, watching Asra’s eyes come up to meet yours, gaze hooded shyly. Affection filled you as you watched the sheepishness in his expression. “Did you really believe those rumours?”

Asra shrugged. “I did find the two of you outside together the other night. However,” he added reaching across the table to wrap his hand around the one of yours that held onto your teacup, “I may have overreacted.”

“May have?” you laughed.

“Okay, I definitely overreacted. I’m sorry.”

You’re pleased to see the upset smooth out from Asra’s expression, not that it stopped you from asking, “Would it really be so bad if I wanted to be friends with Julian?” Asra’s fingers had started running softly over the back of your hand, but stilled at your question.

“Not bad,” Asra answered. He resumed the soft touch of his hands, propping his head up on his hand to gaze over the table at you. His food laid completely forgotten in front of him. “I just don’t know that he deserves your attention.”

“Because rumour says he’s such a bad guy? Scares all the people around him away?” You raised your brows, letting go of your cup to link your fingers together with Asra’s. “Didn’t we learn anything about rumours today?”

You’d hoped that Asra would look properly chastised by your comment, but he did just about the opposite, shaking his head. He straightened back out to start eating again, but kept your hands linked together on top of the table. He pointed his fork at you, “But rumours have a basis in fact. I’m not saying you can’t spend time with Ilya; I just want you to be careful is all.” Asra’s expression fell again, staring darkly at his plate as he stirred his fried rice around. “Ilya has been known to lie and take advantage of people. I’m not saying the rumours are true; I’m saying that just because they’re not doesn’t mean he’s a good person. Just don’t let him take advantage, okay?”

“I won’t.” Asra seemed genuinely troubled by the idea of you continuing to see Julian, not that the two of you had actually been seeing each other. You’d hardly spoken, but you also weren’t opposed to the two of you running into one another again. You watched Asra eat, eyes tracing the soft curve of his face, and the lilt to his lips when he caught you staring.

Asra cleared his throat, “Are you free tonight?”

“I can be. Do you have something in mind?”

“It’s been awhile since we’ve left campus. Maybe we can find some trouble somewhere.”

One of your favorite things to do was accompany Asra on one of his out of town adventures. They ranged from shopping trips in the city to pulling out a blanket and watching the stars at the nature preserve thirty minutes outside of town. He didn’t take you anywhere often with his busy schedule and all, but you looked forward to the opportunity each time they showed up. “I’d love to.”

Asra smiled widely, eyes sparkling in excitement. “I’ll have everything ready.” He stood, setting his empty water glass down on his plate and picking the ensemble up with his free hand. “You can be ready at five? We’ll do dinner too.”

“Sounds great.”

Giving your hand a tight squeeze, Asra bid his farewell and headed toward the washroom to deposit his plate. Five o’clock. That gave you four hours to get ready, but at that moment, you really needed to finish your reading before class.

Five o’clock really couldn’t come fast enough. You’d wanted to skip on on choir rehearsal after class but had resisted. It wasn’t like the sooner you were ready the sooner you would be able to go, and choir released a whole hour before you were supposed to meet Asra. Not to mention that the choir director could be a bit of a witch; you didn’t exactly want to deal with the fallout of skipping.

Right on time, Asra’s tiny blue car pulled up in front of the Omega Phi Alpha house. He didn’t even have to get out of the car before you bounced your way down the sidewalk from the front door. Asra’s smile widened upon seeing you, and he leaned over the centre counsel to push the door open before you could reach the handle. You slid into the familiar seat comfortably, running your fingers over the stitching in the cloth. Your eyes settled on Asra. It looked like he’d made an attempt at dressed up for you with his white button-up, purple and gold jacket, and burgundy scarf. It was a myriad of bright colours that perfectly summed up Asra’s taste in clothes. It was nice, seeing him so put together. “Ready?” he asked although he didn’t have to.

“Of course. What do you have planned.”

Asra shot you a playful wink. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” He’d been leaning over the console, into your space, but he sat back in his seat, shifting the car into gear. It wasn’t long until the two of you were pulling out onto the highway. Asra must have had a big night planned if he’d decided to head out of town. Unfortunately, it was only Thursday which meant you’d have to be back at a reasonable hour for class the next day.

The small altercation between the two of you that afternoon completely forgotten, you chatted about your days and sang to the pop songs that the two of you knew when they came on the radio. Your heart filled with happiness and contentment, ready to burst, singing along to one of your favorite songs; Asra joined in at all the good parts. The feeling lasted well into the drive and then into the sushi shop he finally parked the car in front of. Expression open and happy, Asra took your hand on the way in, even seeming reluctant to let go when you were seated.

While you and Asra had explored most of the more non-traditional eateries in the city, this was a new shop for the two of you. The lights were dimmed and the tables spread apart by little stone pathways. You watched raptly as you passed a fish tank, the colourful creatures darting around in the water. “I like it here,” you decided as you took your seats.

“I’m glad. I wanted to find somewhere new for us to go.”

“So you haven’t been here before either?”

Asra shook his head, accepting a menu from the waitress when she stopped by your table. “I thought it’d be more fun to go somewhere new.” It didn’t take long for the waitress to take your order, and the two of you chatting while waiting for your food. You found yourself unable to stop smiling, Asra’s attention fully on you. “There’s somewhere else I’d like to take you,” Asra said as the both of you exited the restaurant.

Reaching down, he took your hand in his own and gave it a gentle tug down the street, away from where he’d parked the car. “What else do you have up your sleeve?”

He seemed pleasantly happy, watching you from the corner of his eyes, lips upturned at the corners. “A pastime of mine, I suppose you could say.” You looked at him with some surprise, eyes questioning, but if he noticed, Asra didn’t comment. It was only on rare occasions that Asra talked about his childhood. You’d gathered from the rare comments he did make that Asra had lost his parents at a young age. It had left him with a sort of fractured childhood, in and out of foster homes because he never quite fit in with the rest of the children.

Only a block away from the small strip where the sushi restaurant was nestled, Asra led you into a park. The iron archway doesn’t give an indication of the name, but it looked a bit like you’ve always imagined Central Park in New York to be like. Trees and benches lined the pathway, shaded by colourful autumn leaves. The park was relatively quiet for the time, a small children’s playground to the right abandoned. Asra led you toward a fountain in the centre of the pathway, nestled atop a hill, but it was whatever sat on the other side fo the hill that had his attention. Around the bend he paused, looking down the slope to a buzz of people hovering around a well-lit arena.

“An ice rink?” you asked with some surprise. The street lamps at the bottom of the hill lit the ground in a cascade of colours, casting the walkway in rainbows. From the top of the hill you could hear the people down below, squeals of children as they slipped around on their skates. “Roller blade rink, but the concept is similar.”

It really shouldn’t surprise you as much as it did. While the two of you had never been to a roller rink together, you had been to an ice rink in the past. It had been part of a student organisation trip. They’d arranged all of the tickets and transportation for a low fee of five dollars. It was one of the first things the two of you had done together. Asra had seemed uncertain about the ice at first but turned out to be a natural within the first hour. You’d spent much of the rest of the time hanging off him.

“I took lessons when I was younger.” You glanced over at Asra. He didn’t meet your gaze, eyes still watching the people down below with a sort of bittersweet expression. You knew how the rest of his thoughts were running; the loneliness and feeling of not belonging. You guessed that those lessons were probably one of the only privileges he’d been given.

“Would you like to go around for a bit with me?” Asra’s expression remained open and hopeful.  You’d never been a particularly good skater, but it would give you the chance to spend more time with him.  No doubt he’d upstage everyone there, all eyes would be on the two of you, and while you didn’t want to be the centre of attention you also knew that Asra deserved to have it occasionally.

“I’d love to.”  Asra’s smile widened as he tugged you the rest of the way down the hill.  A little wooden booth sat near the entrance to the rink, and Asra ordered the two of you sets of roller blades.  The high school student manning the desk seemed bored but gave Asra a once-over when he wasn’t looking. You would have almost been jealous if it weren’t for the fact Asra wasn’t look because his full attention rested on you.

Sitting down at a bench nearby, you pulled off your shoes. A set of lockers sat in a big square not too far away but most people had been trusting enough to abandon their things in small piles in the grass around the rink.  You decided to do the same, straightening out your shoes to sit comfortably on the ground.  When you reached over to nab up your roller blades, you found that Asra already had them in his hands.  He fell to his knees on the ground next to the bench, looking up at you with a lidded gaze.  “Can I?”

“I – sure,” you stuttered, feeling your cheeks burn with pleasant embarrassment.  Asra’s hand soothed over the legs of your pants before offering up your skate to slide your foot into.  He tied the laces with quick and tight movements, asking you about their tightness to ensure they were comfortable.  He did the same with your other skate before stepping into his own.

As soon as his skates are secure, Asra was back on his feet, offering out a hand to you.  You took it, letting him steady you with a laugh when you wobbled, trying to find your balance.  Walking into the rink, Asra deposited you easily, letting you cling desperately on the edge.  Shakily, you made it a few paces in front of you, Asra easily breezing by at your side, hands behind his back.

“Show off,” you couldn’t help but grumble, but you meant it with all the affection in the world.  “You don’t have to tag along with my slow-poke-ness.  You can go do your tricks and make everyone oh and ah over you.  No hard feelings.”

Asra laughed. “I wouldn’t dare.”  He darted forward, turning around to face you, making your feet slip around as you tried to stop.  You managed it, glaring at him while pushing yourself upright.  “Just trust yourself.”

“I’d prefer not to.”

“Then trust me?” Asra asked it as a question, not judgement, just curiosity. You couldn’t think of anything you wouldn’t trust Asra with.  Seeing the answer on your face, he reached his hands out in front of him until you latched on with your own.  Carefully, he pulled you away from the wall, out into the rotation of people that actually knew what they were doing.

Fear swirled in your stomach, watching your hands linked together before turning to watch your feet. So much could go wrong so easily!  Asra kept the pace slow, pulling you along more than anything.  In fact, you didn’t move your feet at all, letting him tow you around the rink.

“Relax.”

“Easier said than done,” you gritted out.

Asra didn’t reply but his smile was comforting.  He wasn’t looking at his feet either.  Whenever you dared to take your eyes off the ground you saw him watching you, pressing waves of confidence into you through a soft squeeze of his hands. “You’re doing great.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, the honest earnestness in Asra’s gaze stopping you, mouth clicking closed.  You’re not sure how long the two of you spun around in soft ovals before you became more comfortable.  Asra didn’t push you, but you knew he could tell when you became more confident in your stride.  When he noticed, he released one of your hands, spinning to skate next to you, allowing you to set the pace of your rounds.

Even then your movements remained a tad unsure, but you felt the confidence growing in your core, concerns soothed by Asra’s soft expression. When Asra did pull you to the side of the rink, toward the exit, you could tell it was with great reluctance. You weren’t sure how long it’d been, but the sun had fallen below the horizon, the street lamps having become the primary source of lighting. Most of the families had gone, but a few older students remained, most in pairs like you and Asra.

“We should go,” he reluctantly admitted.  You were a bit sad to hear him say it, welcoming the idea of staying here all night, but he was right. It was only a Thursday, and despite what you might want to admit, the skates are really starting to irritate your ankles.  You hadn’t exactly worn the most appropriate socks, and the plastic rubbed roughly against your skin.

“Do you want to go another round?  You didn’t even have a chance to do any tricks or anything.” He’d spent the entire night tight to your side, letting you lead. You were sure he’d missed out on all the fun parts about skating.  You wouldn’t have minded watching him do them either.  Asra was graceful on skates.

“I have you.  That’s all I need.”

Before you could exactly process what was happening, Asra leaned closer and kissed you. His hand came up to rest on the top of your shoulder, thumb stroking along the curve of your neck.  A surprised noise escaped you, eyes wide in surprise.  Before you had the chance to close them, Asra’s pulled back, gaze lidded and pleased.

“I hope that was all right.”

“That was – you were –it was perfect.”

Asra’s smile reached his eyes.  “Do I have your permission to do it again?”  Asra’s hand still rested on your shoulder.  There wasn’t any pressure, the touch light, but enough for you to know it was there.

“Maybe after I’m out of these skates.”  You weren’t entirely sure your ankles could take being kissed on skates for very long without giving out.  Now that you were paying attention again, the ache returned, radiating through your legs.

Asra must have seen you wince, “After then.”  He slid his hand down your arm to take your hand, leading the way back toward your bench.

With great relief, you pulled off your skates, letting out a pleased groan as you did so. Before slipping back into your shoes, you dug your fingers into the most irritated patches of skin, trying to massage out the indentations left by the skates. Something told you your bow-leggedness doesn’t mix well with skates.

Shoes on and clothes straightened, the two of you walked back to the strip mall on the other side of the park where Asra’s car waited. Neither of you said much, letting the comfortable silence settle between you.  For the first time that night, Asra didn’t take your hand immediately, and you felt a little out of place without it.  Asra always had been a big supporter of handholding.  

Asra didn’t seem to notice your internal conflict, but you soon forgot about it as you settled into the car. You pulled your legs up to tuck them comfortably under you, contorting around the seatbelt as a wave of exhaustion hit you. Asra turned the music on the radio down, letting you doze on the ride back to campus.  Your sleep was light, and you blinked your eyes back open when the car pulled to a stop, seeing the familiar Omega Phi Alpha house outside your window. The porch light was on, illuminating the deck in yellow light.

“I had a good time.”  Asra unbuckled his seat belt leaning across the console between the two of you.  You knew immediately what he was going for, meeting him halfway to share a kiss.  It was nothing more than a press of lips, but it made your insides flutter pleasantly anyway.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Asra leaned forward to place another quick peck of a kiss on your lips before leaning back to give you distance.  You had the feeling that if he hadn’t, he never would have let you go.

Chapter Text

You lived the next week on a high from your date with Asra.  It seemed like nothing could bring your spirits down that week despite a heavy workload of midterm studying and volunteering yourself for the Masquerade planning party. Nadia seemed overly pleased in the meeting that you’d volunteered, and Portia did alongside you, seeming significantly more enthusiastic about it then you were feeling.  Every time you thought about it, you thought of Asra associating it with bad memories.  You were more than willing to turn this year’s into something he would remember to hopefully overcome his bad experience.

Part of you still wanted to know what happened at the last Masquerade.

After your meeting, you considered asking Nadia about the scandal at the last Masquerade, but she’d been somewhat standoffish during the entire meeting, keeping conversation quick and concise. It gave you the impression that maybe the unhappiness fro the last Masquerade had affected more than just Asra. Nadia made the decision for you by disappearing shortly after the meeting ended, giving you no chance to ask any questions. It looked like you might never find out.

You still thought of Julian occasionally, feeling guilty of your attraction toward him even after Asra had made his intentions clear with you.  Or, at least, you thought he had. Things between you and Asra had remained relatively normal; he hadn’t tried to sneak any kisses, but that was okay.  You were more than happy to share the quiet intimacy that existed between the two of you.

You hadn’t quite been able to decide on the whole Julian thing. Clearly he rubbed Asra the wrong way, and you weren’t particularly interested in starting an argument with him. On the other hand, you couldn’t see anything wrong with just wanting to stay friends with Julian. It seemed like he could really use some of those.

When you did see Julian next, it was because you’d quite literally bumped into him. You could hardly say it was the first time.  That seemed to be the way the two of you were always destined to meet, by walking in on him when he didn’t expect it.

You hadn’t been paying much attention to where you were going, still tired from your morning workout and in desperate need of a morning pick-me-up. Eyes down on your phone, scrolling through some tabloid websites, you hadn’t even noticed Julian as the student in front of you in line at the cafe. He seemed equally surprised, nearly jumping out of his skin when he turned around to find you there.

He exclaimed your name, eye wide when he turned around. The sudden movement caught your attention before your name did, making you look up sharply, surprised to find Julian standing in front of you, coffee gripped in his hand, clearly having turned around to head toward the condiment table. “I didn’t realize there was anyone else here,” he breathed out, voice softened.

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face at the sight of the embarrassed blush fanning on Julian’s cheeks. “Good morning,” you chirped, not feeling nearly as energetic as your voice made you sound. 
As you stood there, you saw Julian’s eye travel down your body in a decidedly slow manner. Your smile slipped into self consciousness at your shorts and t-shirt, not to mention the sweaty mess that was your hair. You had just come from the fitness center. The shower was your next stop.

Julian coughed, clearly noticing his staring at the same time you did. He pointedly looked away, taking a careful step to the side to allow you past to the student worker at the register who looked just about as thrilled to be there that early as you did. “I was wondering,” Julian started, seeming nervous. You glanced toward him as you placed your order, watching the barista at work behind the counter.

When Julian didn’t continue right away, you turned more of your attention to him, eyeing him curiously from where you stood beside him. His cheeks were still reddened from earlier, and he glanced away, eye widening minutely when you turned to look at him more. “Hmm?” you hummed in question. “Wondering what?”

“Right, yes, right. I was wondering if you’d like to come to the play the theater department is putting on. If you want to, of course!” he rushed to add. Quieter he mumbled, “You don’t have to; I just thought you might like to.” You felt a smile building, softening your expression. Julian took a self-conscious sip of his coffee, clearly looking for something to distract himself with.

“With you?”

“Uh, no, actually.”

“So you want me to go to the play, but you don’t want me to go with you?”

Julian seemed to think of something suddenly, expression perking up. He set his coffee cup down on the counter before reaching into one of the deep pockets in his wool coat to pull out a folded sheet of paper. He handed it over to you quickly, nodding encouragingly when you turned it over in your hands a few times, unsure.

Pocketing your phone and under Julian’s prompting, you unfolded the sheet to reveal a flyer for the theater department’s production, featuring Julian in the center, dressed in a smart business suit, unruly curls nearly tamed down – nearly - lacking their distinct color because of the black and white photo. You couldn’t help but let out a short laugh. “I can’t go with you because you’re in the play!” You sent him a short eye-roll at your own obliviousness. “I should have known, aspiring theater major and all that.”

“I’m not a theater major?”

“Not from lack of trying, I’m sure.”

There was a short pause where Julian seemed more surprised that you’d remembered his aspirations for theater than anything, before his lips twitched up into a pleased smirk. He gave a short shrug in answer, no verbal reply. “Will you come?”

“This is supposed to be sad, right?”

“You’re the English major.” You flashed a smile at him.

“Yes, but I’ve never read it.” Death of a Salesman. You’d certainly heard the title, but, no, you’d never read it. Certainly seemed sad. “You’re the salesman?”

“I’m the salesman,” Julian confirmed. 

“And it’s a tragedy?”

Julian shrugged. “My entire life is a tragedy. It fits.”

You frowned ready to say something, but the barista nabbed your attention first, sticking your drink practically under your nose. Julian used the opportunity to slip away, taking your hand holding the flyer to bring it up to his lips like he had the last time you’d seen one another. “You’ll come? I may not be able to see you, but it would be a pleasure to know you’re there.”

“I’ll be there.”

Chapter Text

The play opened exactly one week later, on a Wednesday. At first you’d thought to invite Asra to go with you. Asra went with you just about everywhere except for class and greek events. The two of you always tried out new things together, but you weren’t entirely sure that you wanted him to know you’d spoken to Julian again.

The new relationship between the two of you was still, well, new, and you weren’t ready to test it yet with any strain. Asra still hadn’t been more forward or affectionate than usual since the night at the rink, and you briefly wondered if everything that had happened that night had all been a fluke.

You invited Portia instead.

In retrospect, it made the most sense. Portia jumped at the opportunity to go with you to see her brother perform. And it felt nice getting to go out with her to spend time with someone other than Asra. You loved Asra, maybe more than anyone, but sometimes you wanted to love your other friends too. When Portia walked down the stairs to meet you for the play, two giant bouquets of flowers clutched in her hands, you laughed until you cried. They were outlandishly large, a multicolored array. “He didn’t invite me, so I have to heckle him about it,” Portia said matter-of-factly in reply to your laugh. She linked one of her arms with yours as you headed out onto the street.

“You’d heckle him about it anyway.”

“You’re probably right.” There was absolutely no remorse in Portia’s voice.

“You know you’re going to have to hold those through the entire thing, right?”

“Worth it.”

It was definitely worth it. Julian’s eye stretched comically wide when he spotted Portia’s shock of red hair in the bumbling crowd coming out of the theater. You could see the way his eye had scanned the people milling around in the lobby. Many of the other actors had friends or family surrounding around them, chatting and smiling, but Julian stood alone despite having been the star of the show. It seemed like he was ostracized even within the theater department.

An overwhelming wave of sympathy washed over you as you kept your eyes on him. You could tell the moment that he spotted you, the spark of hope that lit up his expression, a look that he tried to temper down before you came closer. You couldn’t imagine what it would have done to him if you hadn’t come.

You could also tell the moment Portia caught sight of him. Her body practically vibrated at your side, her gaze locked in on her brother with an evil giddiness. You’d been carrying one of her outlandish bouquets, but she pulled it from your hands and made a beeline for Julian.

“Ilya!” she exclaimed, making Julian look like he’d rather be anywhere else. She thrust the bouquets toward him, his hands instinctively coming up to grab them. “You forgot to tell me that you were in the play; good thing someone thought to invite me to come see it!” Portia nudged your side as she said it, and you felt your own smile turn sheepish.

Julian’s surprised expression softened into a genuine smile, the corners of his lips turned up and affection in his eyes. “I’m glad you could be here. Both of you.” Julian reached over and pulled Portia into a hug, flowers crinkling between the two of them.

After a moment, Portia pulled away with a flippant wave of her hand. She cuffed his head lightly with her hand. “Just make sure you invite me next time, you hear?”

“Of course.”

“Good. So, look, I’ve got this thing to go do,” she turned to you before continuing, “I’ll see you back at the house later?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” You hadn’t realized that Portia had other plans, but a moment later she darted her way back through the crowd leaving you and Julian alone.

"There’s a party,” Julian said suddenly, “an afterparty,” he continued softer. “If you’d like to go? With me?” You expected a bit of joke or perhaps some sarcasm in his voice, but Julian appeared completely earnest, gaze questioning but not demanding.

With a shrug you answered honestly, “I have some time.”

Julian’s smile widened. He leaned back against the wall and picked his way through the two bouquets of flowers in his hands before settling on one, pulling the blue flower out by its long stem. “It’s perfect.” He broke the stem in two, sliding the intact flower behind one of your ears, leaning into your space, and sharing the same bubble of air. “Perfect,” he repeated, hand sliding just over the ends of your hair as he pulled away.

The party ended up being at one of the old-fashioned taverns in the town square a few blocks from campus. You’d never been before, but the place had a gentle buzz of people, mostly townspeople who didn’t even bat an eye when the theater department invaded their space. Julian pulled you toward a booth near the back of the tavern, sitting you down with a promise to return with drinks.

The walk from campus had been nice. The air brisk, the cold of late autumn really beginning to settle in. The theater students had been a bubble of activity, just on the right side of rowdy as they’d packed together for their walk. Julian had seemed more at ease that you’d ever seen him, willingly joining in on the conversations as they’d walked, but he’d stuck close to your side, never touching.

Being around Julian was intoxicating in a way that you hadn’t expected. It felt nothing like being around Asra. Asra was comfort and familiarity; he was the feeling of relaxation after a long day. But Julian was excitement and exhilaration; he was the feeling of reaching a goal that had been just out of reach. You had to remind yourself while waiting for Julian to return that the two of you were only going to be friends. You couldn’t let it go farther than that.

Glancing over toward the bar in the middle of the room, you spotted Julian immediately. He was leaning over the bar, chatting with another student seated on one of the barstools. He’d left his coat at your booth, but his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, ankles lazily crossed over one another. Whatever the other student said caused him to laugh, eyes crinkled up at the corners. Just a second later the bartender slid two drinks over to him; Julian straightened up to receive them, clapping his companion on the shoulder and sauntering back over to their table.

He seemed to catch you watching him as he headed back, throwing a wink your way, that brought up a slight rise of color in your cheeks. “Miss me?”

You hummed a second in mock thought. “I was enjoying the quiet.”

Julian laughed. “Not a lot of quiet in here.” He slid into the opposite side of the booth, drinks on the table between the two of you. “They’re called Salty Bitters; they’re a specialty here. Not a lot of alcohol; perfect for a college student wanting to get buzzed on a school night.”

“I don’t think school nights stop anyone from getting wasted.” At least not from what you’d seen.

Julian just shrugged. “How is everyone’s favorite English major?”

You scoffed. “I’m hardly everyone’s favorite English major.”

“How is my favorite English major?”

"Do you even know any other English majors?”

“That’s not important.”

You laughed softly. “I’m fine. Normal. If the sorority isn’t doing anything, I don’t have a lot going on.”

“Sounds like you need some adventure.”

“I have plenty of adventure.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Julian reached forward to pick up his tankard of Salty Bitter and downed it in one long go. You stared at him as he did it, feeling your brows knit together partially out of concern. Setting the tankard down and wiping his mouth, he stood up, reaching out a hand to you. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“On an adventure!”

“What does that even mean?”

Julian gave an encouraging gesture with his hand, “Do you trust me?”

Did you? Asra would tell you not to, of that you had no doubt. He didn’t trust anything about Julian, but Portia did. Portia was Julian’s biggest fan and supporter, and you trusted Portia. Taking a deep breath, you let Julian pull you to your feet, your own Salty Bitter left forgotten on the table.

Julian didn’t take you too far away from the tavern. Instead he pulled you along the streets, ducking around between buildings, and dashing across roads without looking either direction. It was rather exhilarating, the way Julian would take off at a run, not bothering to look behind him because he knew that you’d be following. For a while you weren’t even sure that he had a destination in mind, not that you minded, too caught up in the laughing, the wild way that Julian dashed across the busy roadways.

He finally came to a stop on one side of a tall wooden fence. It towered over the two of you, but Julian didn’t seem to care, sliding down the alleyway to hop his way up onto the big black dumpster along the fence. The plastic cover teetered under his weight, but he paid it no mind, reaching out a hand to pull you up next to him. “Uh? What’re we doing?”

“You’ll see.” He gave you a quick wink before hoisting himself up and over the fence. Even up on the dumpster, the fence stretched above you eyesight, blocking your view of the other side. Planting your hands on the top, you hoisted yourself up, the burn in your arms matching the burn in your legs from the run, pleasantly tingling as you pulled yourself over to sit on top of the fence.

A garden stretched out in front of you, a gazebo just below covered in blooming purple moon vines. A shiny cobblestone path snaked its way around the garden, disappearing into the thick of foliage up ahead. Julian stood on the path, facing the same direction you were, arms crossed over his chest. His curls had been tamed down for the play earlier, but after the exertion and the wind, the locks had begun to pull loose, returning to their natural state.

"How’d you find this place?” you asked, almost sorry to break the comfortable quiet that had fallen between the two of you. 

"It’s my secret hideaway, but shhh, don’t tell anyone.”

“Not even Portia?”

Julian turned around when you asked. “Especially not Portia,” he groaned. He walked back over to the fence, beckoning you down. The ground seemed so far away from up atop the fence, but after a moment of nerves, you forced yourself to push away. Your feet impacted painfully, your ankles nearly buckling with the fall, but Julian reached out immediately to steady you. His arms bracketed your body in against the fence, hands on your shoulders to keep you from wobbling.

The two of you were impossibly close, breathing in the same space. Julian’s gaze darted up to meet yours, expression unreadable, but so telling in its own way. You could sense the apprehension in him, the soft questioning and acceptance. Reaching up, you brushed some of his curls away from his face, fingers lightly following the line of the patch over his right eye, barely touching until reaching his hair line. The gel in his hair resisted the press of your fingers, making him whine at the tug, eye slipping slowed. You drug your hand through his hair again, somewhat intrigued, curious. This time he whined out your name, dipping forward to rest your foreheads together, the quickening of his breath warm against your face.

Taking a deep breath, you pulled away. “Show me around?”

Julian stayed close for long seconds after you asked, unmoving except for the heaviness of his breaths. He swallowed, his throat bobbing with the action before straightening up, eye blinking open. Flashing a smile, he nodded, “Whatever you wish.” He didn’t pull away immediately, only moving when you brushed past him to step further into the garden.

Small lights were staked into the ground, illuminating the pathway and the surrounding vegetation. It cast a pleasant glow on the moon vines twining around the gazebo and up the wooden fence they’d climbed over. Julian didn’t exactly lead you anywhere or say much of anything. Instead the two of you walked side by side down the cobble path, stopping occasionally to run your fingers along the soft petals of an opened blossom. The quiet was comfortable between you, so unlike the fast paced race to get there.

After a sort time of meandering through the area, the two of you ended up back at the gazebo. “I should be getting back,” you said, regretfully. You had no idea what time it was, but it had long since gone dark, and you really should get back to campus before someone noticed you were gone and started to worry. 

“Boost you up?” Julian offered.

He didn’t wait for you to answer, stooping down, fingers interlaced for you to step on. One hand on his shoulder, the other on the fence to steady yourself, you stepped into his hands, letting him push you up enough to grab onto the fence and hoist yourself back over. It was easy enough to slide onto the dumpster on the other side, and Julian pulled himself up after you.

“This was fun. Thank you.”

“Nothing’s hard about showing a beautiful place to a beautiful person.” Julian reached forward to touch the flower he’d tucked behind your ear earlier in the evening, fingers just barely brushing over the shell of your ear. He leaned down to kiss you before you processed what he was doing. Julian’s lips were drier than you expected. Where Asra’s kiss had been soft but purposeful, Julian’s was all about pressure, desperation, as if he were breathing you in. It wasn’t unpleasant, thrilling where Asra’s had been calming. You could feel how much Julian wanted you through his touch.

Taking a step closer to him, you laid one hand against his chest, feeling him take a step back from you, gasping quietly against your mouth when his back pressed against the wooden fence. The sound also brought you to your senses, taking a few steps back immediately, almost forgetting that you weren’t standing on the ground, when your heels tipped over the edge of the dumpster, but you steadied yourself before falling. 

Julian leaned against the fence, flush dark and high on his cheeks, eye lidded with desire until he seemed to catch something in your own expression. You didn’t even know what expression you were making, caught somewhere between longing to press him back into the fence, and extreme guilt over what had happened. Rationally, you knew that Julian had made the first move, but you had hardly discouraged him when you knew how he felt about you.

You wanted to be desired, and Julian certainly delivered.

 Julian’s expression quickly turned from sorrow into a neutral look of acceptance. He knew what you were going to say before you even said it, and you hated to prove him right even as you stuttered out a quick excuse of having to go. You didn’t wait for him to say anything, wasn’t even sure if he had anything to say before heading back down the alley toward campus.

Chapter Text

“What did my idiot brother do?”

You’d spent a lot of the last few days hiding away in your room or at the library, turning down everyone’s offers to do, well, anything. You couldn’t bear facing Asra due to the guilt, couldn’t see Julian for the same reasons, although you suspected Julian probably wanted to see you even less. It was easier to appear busy than have to explain to everyone else why you were so withdrawn.

Until Portia burst into your room unannounced.

“Wha-?” You glanced up from your computer, not even bothering to hide the way you were tucked under the covers of your bed, snack wrappers scattered around you. A little late to try to hide anything anyway. Portia didn’t acknowledge any of it - thankfully - and instead flopped down on the edge of your bed, moving some of the clutter out of the way to make space. “My brother’s been moping ever since we went to his play the other day, and you’ve hardly left your room. I figure he did something stupid. Again. He’s good at that.” Portia rolled her eyes, but you could see the concern in her face, for both of you, and it only made your guilt intensify.

“He didn’t do anything.”

“I find that hard to believe. Ilya’s good at that.”

“Really. Nothing happened. We went to the after party. I came home. It was fine.”

“Oh, something did happen. Tell me what happened.” Portia’s voice took on a concerned tone to match the look in her eyes. “You know that you can tell me anything, right? Plus! I know Ilya better than anyone! No one is better at giving advice about him than me.”

“Ugh, I just -” you stopped not sure exactly what you wanted to say, “I just don’t know what I want,” you admitted, honest. 

Portia’s lips turned into a pout, thoughtful. “Sounds like quite the dilemma if it has you this tangled up. I bet Nadia would know what to tell you. She’s so much older and wiser and -”

Despite the guilt and the little bit of shame, you laughed. “You know she’s only two years older than us, right?”

Portia’s cheeks darkened in a way that wasn’t unlike Julian. Now that you knew they were related, you could see the similarities between them more starkly. You groaned, turning over to bury your head in your pillow. Portia laid down, her arm wrapping around you in a hug. “It’s gonna be fine. Maybe. Probably. You still haven’t really told me what’s going on. But you should. If you want to. I won’t make you if you don’t want, but you should.”

“I like Julian,” you finally said, a bit embarrassed to admit that to his sister, but you didn’t look up to see her reaction. Her arm didn’t retreat from the hug she had around you, so that had to be a good sign. Not that you honestly thought Portia would be upset that you were interested in Julian; she seemed more than happy to encourage it.

“And he’s a big dumb?”

“No! Well, maybe. I don’t know him that well,” you answered.

Portia let out a contemplative hum. “So, you want to know him better?”

“Yes, but that’s not the problem.”

“What is the problem?”

“I love Asra.”

Quiet stretched out between the two of you. You’d known you loved Asra, but you’d never said it aloud before, never said it to anyone else. It felt almost impossible that anyone didn’t know if about you, with the way you hung on to every word he said, but it felt different now, being voiced.

“This does sound like a problem for Nadia.”

“I don’t want to bother her.” 

And honestly, you weren’t sure how much more helpful Nadia would be. Sure, she was a Senior, had been around campus longer, knew most of the good gossip, but she also didn’t take well to nonsense, and you couldn’t help but feel like this entire situation wasn’t a whole lot of nonsense. You also cared deeply about how your sorority president viewed you; you didn’t want this situation to tarnish what she thought of you.

Portia pulled away. “That’s what she’s here for. To help all of us out. I’m going to go get her.”

Before you could protest, Portia dashed out of your room, leaving you curled up under the blankets by yourself. With a long breath out, trying to quell the bit of anxiety that had welled up, you went about disposing of the wrappers left on your bed. Portia returned only a few minutes later with Nadia in tow. Her long hair was braided down her back, already dressed for bed in a soft nightgown. She sat in your desk chair while Portia plopped back down next to you on the bed.

“Portia said you’re struggled with some…relationship issues.”

“I guess.” You fiddled with the edge of your blanket, feeling embarrassed under Nadia’s speculative gaze. She didn’t seem angry or bothered, but a hint curious. Portia nudged you and gave you a look that told you to continue. After letting out a long sigh, you started from the beginning.

Nadia listened patiently throughout while Portia’s eyes widened, clearly not having realized your whole relationship with the two fraternity boys quite as much as she thought. Your heart pounded in your chest once you finished. It felt so terribly loud, waiting anxiously for what Nadia would say. “Have you considered having an open relationship with the two of them?” Nadia suggested after a few moments of silence.

Your heart skipped a beat, as you quickly said, “I don’t know if either of them would be open to that. I don’t know if I’m open to that.” You paused, really letting the suggestion settle. Would you be? Willing to be in an open relationship? It wasn’t something you’d thought about before. You imagined what it could be like, to have both of them, to love both of them. Exhilarating, liberating, soothing. On the other hand, you weren’t sure how you’d feel about seeing or hearing about them with other people. It was a selfish thought, wanting the both of them to yourself.

“What about a monogamous relationship between the three of you?” You had to stop yourself from laughing at that suggestion, but Nadia’s lips downturned in a frown. “Asra hates Julian,” you clarified, chancing a glance toward Portia, but she just seemed enraptured by the conversation.

“I doubt that,” Nadia scoffed. Maybe hate wasn’t exactly the right word for what Asra felt toward Julian, but it felt close. “I would agree that Asra and Julian have their,” she paused again, considering, “differences, but they used to be quite the happy couple once. I expect if Asra appears as angry as you say, he’s still hurting from their separation.”

It was Portia that asked, “Wait, what?”

You could barely breathe.

“They had a falling out; we all did. Julian made some poor choices.”

Portia rolled her eyes, exclaiming, “I told you it’s always his fault!”

“What’d he do?” you asked, feeling more tangled than you had before Nadia had come in.

Nadia’s shoulders rose in a shrug, but you suspected that she knew more than she was letting on. “I don’t know the full story. That’s between Asra and Julian. You would have to ask one of them if you wanted to know.”You laid back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. No one moved or said anything for long minutes, sitting in the quiet. Downstairs you could hear some of your sorority siblings moving around or watching tv. You thought about the interactions you’d had with Julian and Asra thus far this year. Your thoughts kept getting stuck on the first night you’d met Julian, just outside the house, the heartbreaking look he’d given Asra at his cold dismissal. Julian definitely still cared about Asra, now you just needed to know if Asra felt the same.

Somewhere in your quiet musings, Nadia’s suggestion, a closed traid relationship between you and Asra and Julian, had settled into you. It felt right in a way things hadn’t lately. You decided then and there that you would do anything to bring them back together and share it with the two of them.

Sitting back up you noticed that Nadia and Portia was gone, having shut your door behind them. They must have decided to give you space while you’d been wrapped up in your thoughts. Trudging over to the light switch, you flipped it off, readying to go to sleep and not think about anything for a long while. It didn’t entirely work, your mind still churning in the dark, remembering Asra’s words about his freshman Masquerade, about it being one of the worst nights of his life.

You were certain that whatever tore Julian and Asra apart, it had happened at that Masquerade. Now you just had to figure it out.

Chapter Text

Finding out what had happened at a greek life party only two years ago, turned out to be harder than you’d thought it would be. You’d considered just outright asking Asra, but then you remembered the hurt in his eyes when he’d first told you about the Masquerade, and you couldn’t do it. Asra knew something was bothering you, occupying your thoughts. You could tell by the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. But he didn’t ask. He probably figured you’d tell him when you were ready.

The other obvious option was to ask Julian. He seemed a little more blatant in his feelings, unable to hide anything, but he had become elusive ever since your botched date in the garden. And it had definitely been a date. He’d withdrawn from social activities almost entirely and being in different academic departments didn’t help.

Nadia was really the only other option, but she’d already said she wouldn’t tell you.

Which frankly left you with absolutely nothing to go on. Frustrating.

The only real hope you had was continuing to help out with the planning of the Masquerade, hoping that something would come up and give you some clue or hint. It irritated you to no end.

Until you ran into Julian, again, quite by accident. That seemed to be the way the two of you were always destined to meet.

You’d been up to visit Asra again in their fraternity house. Asra himself had left a few minutes prior, whisking off to class, but more than happy to leave you alone in his room to finish up the assignment you were working on. While locking up Asra’s door, Julian came up the stairs. You wondered, briefly, how the two of them could stand living right next to one another if they were at such odds all the time. How they could stand to run into each other like this, when just running into you made Julian freeze.

It took Julian a second to recover from the shock of seeing you. His eye went wide, frozen on the stairs before he plastered on a fake smile, expression just a hint bitter. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing his stray bangs out from in front of his eyes. “Fancy seeing you here. Have more hearts to break?”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted, entirely truthful.

Julian’s haughty expression faltered for just a moment before returning. “Nothing to be sorry for, my dear. I’m hardly lovable. I understand.”

He walked by you without saying anything else, moving to unlock his door. “Julian, you know that’s not true.”

“On the contrary, it’s remarkably true.”

“It’s not.” You dropped your bag on the floor, stepping closer to him. You wanted to reach out, to touch him, but you didn’t think that would be welcome. It hurt to see Julian treating himself so harshly, to know that you’d caused it. “You have so many people that love you, you just have to give them a chance.”

“Why bother?” Julian snapped. He sounded genuinely angry, turning to face you again with furrowed brows, lock forgotten. “Why bother when everyone just ends up leaving anyway? I might as well just not let anyone in.”

“You’ll make yourself miserable.”

“How would you know? How would you think you know anything about me?” Julian’s voice came out as a snarl. He didn’t make any moves toward you, and normally that sort of tone from someone so much taller would have cowed you, but you knew that Julian would never do anything to hurt you, not purposefully.

At least you didn’t think so.

“You’re right,” you answered back calmly.

Julian seemed surprised by that admission, the anger smoothing out of his expression. “What?”

“You’re right,” you repeated, “I don’t know anything about you, not really. I wish I did. I wish I knew what happened to your eye. I wish I knew why you feel like you can’t let anyone love you. I wish I knew what it was like for you, growing up with Portia or why you decided to go to school here, or why you let your parents decide that you have to be a doctor when you want to be an actor.” You wished you knew what he’d done to make Asra hate him so much.

Julian’s anger evaporated completely, and he just looked tired. He dipped forward to rest his head on your shoulder. “I’d tell you,” he said softly, breath warm against the skin of your neck. “I’d tell you absolutely anything you wanted to know.”

“Maybe not right now,” you conceded, pleased that he’d at least opened up to you again. You ran fingers through his red hair, letting out an amused huff when he practically purred against your skin. “But eventually.” The middle of the day on a Wednesday didn’t seem like the opportune time to have someone lay out their entire life story.

“I’d like that,” Julian admitted quietly. His arms came up to wrap around you. The two of you stood in the hallway for some time, just holding one another. Julian let out long breaths, puffs of warmth against your neck. You pulled away first, almost regretting it when Julian whined softly, under his breath. You weren’t even sure that he’d realized he’d done it.

Reluctantly, Julian pulled away. He fidgeted, shoulders hunched in a bit to appear smaller, eyes downcast to avoid your gaze; he pushed up his sleeves, an uneasy movement to give his hands something to do. Tipping up on your toes, you pressed a comforting kiss against his cheek. He bit his lip in return, the gesture clearly a nervous tick, but infinitely charming.

“Where’s your phone?”

“What?”

“You phone. Give it to me.”

You held out your hand, making a short grabbing motion to get him to move. His gaze met yours only briefly, scrambling for his phone in a flurry of limbs when he caught the steeled determination in your eyes. He passed you over his phone, eye wide, but gaze still hooded. You filed that bit of information away for later.

Making quick work of the phone, you added your own details into his contacts before handing it back. “There,” you said, “now you don’t have an easy excuse to avoid me in the future.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

You were unimpressed by the clear lie.

“I just didn’t want to distract you when you clearly weren’t interested.”

“Julian,” you said softly, stepping close to hold his hand. His fingers remained still for a moment before circling around your own. “I’m very interested, but I have other things to think about too,” which was true, “I need you to be okay with me working through those things, all right?”

“Okay,” he replied, voice just a little choked. “Are those other things Asra?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Asra doesn’t like me very much.” Sheepishness crept into his voice. You watched as his gaze drifted toward Asra’s door behind you, before darting away quickly as if he’d been reprimanded for even thinking about the other student.

Head tilted to the side, you asked before you could stop yourself. “You love him don’t you?”

To his credit, Julian didn’t seem overly surprised you’d asked. “I did, once.”

“I think you still do.”

“Maybe. It doesn’t matter.”

“If it makes you feel better, he still cares about you.” You couldn’t say for certain whether Asra loved Julian back because you honestly didn’t know. But you did know Asra fairly well, and if he truly didn’t care about Julian anymore, he would have been nothing more than a passing thought. Asra wouldn’t try this much to keep the two of you separated. Wouldn’t try this hard to keep Julian away.

You could tell by the look in Julian’s eye, that he didn’t quite believe you, but he didn’t contradict you either, and you counted that as a win. “I have to go,” Julian told you softly instead. “The new musical auditions are this week. I need to practice more.”

“I look forward to seeing it.” You gave Julian a quick wink and peck on the cheeks before skipping back out onto campus, feeling much better about things than you had in weeks.

Chapter Text

You confided your most recent conversation with Julian to Nadia the next day. You’d gone back and forth about whether or not to talk to Portia about it too, but ultimately decided against it. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel like you could trust her, but Nadia felt like a more unbiased source to help you formulate your next steps. Plus, she knew Asra better than Portia did.

Which is how you ended up with a plan to seduce Julian and Asra back together. Nadia seemed to be similarly minded in thinking that Asra still had feelings for Julian. You were glad you weren’t the only one on campus that saw it. However, when pressing on Nadia for more information on what had happened between the two of them, she remained just as tight-lipped as she had the night in your room. She reiterated that it had to be one of the two of them that told you.

You just had to figure out which one to ask.

So, while trying to figure out how exactly to discern what had broken them apart to begin with, you threw yourself full-heartedly into the Masquerade planning with a renewed vigor. While Nadia knew your motivations - it had to be perfect, the epitome of romance to seduce them into both your and each others arms - she didn’t comment, and seemed more than happy to have someone just as motivated to make a perfect Masquerade as she was.

One sunny March afternoon, you decided to go for it and ask Julian what had happened. No time like the present, right? Of the two of them, Julian seemed the less likely to shut down. You loved Asra, but he could be withdrawn and quiet when he didn’t want to talk, especially about himself.

You and Julian were laid out on the edges of the pond just off campus. The weather had just begun to climb into reasonably temperatures, so while the two of you were bundled up, the sun felt nice and your face, and you weren’t freezing. The geese that typically migrated to the pond in the warmer months hadn’t returned yet, and most of the rest of the students were still inside, not quite attuned to the weather yet. 

You were more than comfortable, laid out on the - still mostly brown - grass, head on Julian’s arm, curled up against his chest. He radiated more warmth than you expected, and he’d thrown his coat out over the two of you like a blanket to ward away any of the chill that might have tried to creep in. He didn’t shiver, even without his coat, so you figured he must not be too uncomfortable himself.

The two of you had lulled into a quiet doze in the last few minutes, one of his fingers tracing soft circles over your shoulder, while you laid unmoving in his embrace. “You said that you’d answer any questions that I had about you,” you finally said, breaking the silence.

“I did. What were you thinking about?”

You shifted, propping yourself up on an elbow to look down at Julian, bracing your other hand against his chest. “Why do you wear the eyepatch?”

Julian didn’t seem surprised by your question; you suspected it was a question he was asked often. “That eye is a little broken,” he answered, “people tend to be more comfortable with the eyepatch once they see it.”

“Can I see?”

Julian covered the hand on his chest with one of his own. A frown settled on his lips, but he didn’t seem upset. “It’s not pretty. It would make most people run.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“You can’t know that if you haven’t seen it.”

“It’s a part of you, and that’s okay.”

“It is a part of me, it’s just-” Julian paused, a tightness in the lines of his lips, in the furrow of his brows.

With a shrug, you pillowed your head against his chest. “How about we go with eventually. You’ll show me eventually. It doesn’t have to be today.”

“Eventually,” Julian repeated softly. “It’s not that I don’t want to show you. The eyepatch has become such a part of me. It’s like bearing my soul to take it off.”

“I understand.” You didn’t exactly, but you did understand that he wasn’t ready to take that intimate step with you yet. “Just. Does it hurt?” You tilted you head up to see Julian’s face, but he stared straight up toward the sky.

You felt the deep breath his took in, the sudden rise of his chest. “Not usually. It’s a genetic thing, not a traumatizing injury or anything. It’s a bit more sensitive to light, and sometimes gives me headaches. The patch is easier. It’s not as irritated and people don’t stare as much. Although, don’t get me wrong! People still stare plenty.”

“Maybe they’re just staring because of how pretty you are.”

“I’m not- they’re not –“ Julian stuttered, flushing a delightful shade before snapping his mouth shut.

“You’re very pretty,” you told him, smiling softly, feeling your eyes slip mostly closed. “Or handsome, or whatever you want me to say. It’s all true.” You burrowed closer into his side, practically purring at the warmth, pleased when his arm tightened around you.

Mumbling quietly, Julian returned with a, “So are you.”

“Well, thanks.” For long minutes you let the quiet lull you into a short doze, Julian’s chest rising and falling easily under your head. “Julian?”

“Yes, dear?”

You swallowed, opening your eyes and tracing soft patterns with your fingers against the buttons on Julian’s shirt. “What happened between you and Asra?”

At the question, Julian tensed under you; you could feel the way his body stiffened, how his fingers went still against your arm. But he didn’t pull away. Instead he heaved out a large breath, his chest deflating. “Haven’t you heard?” there was a false cheerfulness in Julian’s tone, an underlying of hurt, bitterness. You didn’t like when he spoke like that.

“No. That’s why I’m asking.”

“Asra hasn’t said anything?” Julian seemed just a touch surprised by that.

“We don’t talk about you much,” you admitted.

“Oh.” Julian’s voice was small. He coughed as if to clear his throat, but you suspected it had more to do with easing the ache in his chest. “I don’t blame you.”

“Julian?” you prompted, knowing he was avoiding the subject.

“Right, well. I’m surprised you haven’t heard! I cheated on him. He never could quite satisfy me; I’m a lot for one person to handle.”

You shifted up to rest your hands on Julian’s chest. It would take more than a push to dislodge you, and you weren’t about to let him run away from this conversation. Frown set firmly on your lips, you watched the way that Julian avoided your gaze, instead staring out past the expanse of lawn to his right, red curls splayed out in the greening grass.

“What actually happened,” you prompted.

“That is what happened.”

Your frown deepened. “Maybe. But it’s not the full story.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s all water under the bridge now.”

With that tone of voice, the hurt and anxiety in Julian’s expression? Hardly water under the bridge. “It matters to me.”

“Why?” Julian actually looked at you when he asked. His expression guarded, a hard look in his eye. 

Reaching up to brush a curl back from Julian’s face, you replied, “Because it still bothers you, and because I still think you want things to work with Asra.”

“Lucio was blackmailing me.”

“What?”

Julian stared at you for what felt like a long time, but was probably only a few seconds, but it didn’t feel like he was actually seeing you. He took another long breath, letting his eye close before opening it to see you again, expression clearer, softer. He moved to trail his fingers along your cheek.

“I used to do Lucio’s homework for him. He’d pay me, and I needed money, and I didn’t really care. Eventually it became too much, doing his on top of my own, and there was Asra….I decided to stop. Lucio said he’d go to the school board, tell them that I was assisting students in plagiarism.”

“Lucio as in -?”

“Nadia’s boyfriend? Yes.” You’d heard of Lucio but only in passing, his name a whisper on the lips of other sorority members. “He wasn’t the nicest guy around, but everyone always seemed to love him anyway. I’m glad you weren’t around to meet him. If anything good came out of all this, it was him running out before you arrived.”

“What did you do? After he threatened you?”

“I agreed to do what he asked for a while. I was afraid of losing my scholarships. I was afraid of what Asra would do if Lucio told him; you know how he can be sometimes. But Lucio started getting more aggressive, said that I wasn’t focusing enough on what I was supposed to be doing because I was spending so much time with Asra. He told me I needed to end it before he did. I was a coward.” The admission was quiet, barely more than a whisper.

You shook your head, tapping his chin until he looked at you. “He manipulated you. You don’t need to apologize because someone took advantage of you or your financial situation.”

“I stood up to him,” Julian said, still quiet, “I found him at the Masquerade, and I told him I was done being pushed around, that I wouldn’t do what he told me to do anymore. I was going to tell Asra everything because I didn’t want to keep hiding things from him, to keep lying.” Julian swallowed, gaze turning away again, ashamed. “He kissed me of all things.”

“He did what!”

Julian let out a humourless laugh. “An awful kisser, really. I don’t know how Nadia could stand it. Then again, he was just doing it to me for show, nothing more. I don’t know if they somehow planned it or if it all just happened by accident, but Asra saw. Asra saw, and one of Lucio’s lackies, Valdemar,” Julian shuddered when he said their name, “biology TA, worst person I’ve ever met. Anyway. They recorded it, posted it up on Snap. I had no idea. I tried to go explain to Asra, but I couldn’t find him. I, uh,” Julian paused, sheepish, “may have gotten a lot drunk after that. I went back to confront Lucio, and it got physical. I sent him to the ER with a fractured nose.” When Julian paused, you took the time to press a few quick kisses against his lips, wiping away the memories. “I found out about the Snap the next day.

Everyone hated me. Lucio said we’d been having a secret affair, but that I was abusive. He can be a pretty convincing liar. Must be why everyone liked him so much.”

“And Asra?”

“Hasn’t talked to me since.”

“Did you ever tell him?”

“I wanted to. I tried. He didn’t want to listen, and, well. I’m a coward, like I said.”

“You’re not, Julian; you’re not.” You pressed a new kiss to the underside of his jaw, and he practically melted back down into the ground, looking more relaxed than you’d seen him since the garden. “Lucio manipulated you, but you’re still here. You’re still doing what you need to do. Without anyone else. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. You haven’t done anything. You weren’t even here at the time.”

“I’m still sorry you had to deal with all that. That no one believed you.”

“You can’t tell Asra.”

The soft request caught you off guard. “What do you mean, I can’t tell him?” How were you supposed to get the two of them back together if you couldn’t talk to Asra about what you learned? You were sure it would help solve their differences. Plus, you were a little upset with Asra for clearly jumping to the conclusions that apparently the entire student body had. You expected more from him, and he’d disappointed you.

Julian shook his head, expression serious. “I don’t want you to tell him.”

“But why not?”

“Because I need to be the one to do it. I appreciate that you want to help,” he laid a hand against your cheek, cupping your face in his palm. “And I love that about you, but this is between the two of us. I’ll wait until he’s willing to listen, but it’s mine to tell.”

“What if Asra is never willing to listen?”

Julian shrugged. “Then he’s not, and this ends between me and him.”

Chapter Text

Julian’s request not to tell Asra didn’t sit well with you, but you didn’t see any other options. He’d trusted you with the information on what had really happened to break him and Asra apart, so you could hardly go behind his back now and spill everything to Asra. Even if you wanted to. Even if you really really wanted to.

“I heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with Julian.” There was forced nonchalance in Asra’s voice when he said it. You didn’t need to look up to know that he’d be pointedly looking away from you too, really trying to drive the point home that it was just a casual topic of conversation even if it was anything but. When you looked over at him, Asra was staring down at his textbook, end of his pencil resting against his lip, but the way his eyes moved on the page, showed that he wasn’t actually paying any attention to anything on it.

“A bit,” you answered, glancing away from him and down to your own work, “that a problem?”

The two of you were sitting in a cozy spot in the library. Asra had coiled himself up in one of the giant bean bag chairs while you’d opted for a normal chair. It was easier to write on. Asra stretched his legs out, pushing his book aside to stare up at the ceiling before he looked over at you and turning his eyes back up. “No.”

“Well, good.” You decided to leave the conversation there, see what Asra would do. He was quiet for a few minutes before saying, “I’m just worried about you, you know. I’ve told you that he’s a liar behind that pretty face, but I just wanted to remind you. That’s all.”

“Mmhmm,” you hummed. “That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

Clearly Asra wasn’t going to admit how bothered he was. With a deep breath, you pushed your writing away to climb over the armrest of the chair and settle into the bean bag chair with Asra. His textbook slid off the end, landing with a dull thud on the carpeted floor but both of you ignored it. “Why does Julian bother you so much?” 

Okay, so maybe you’d agreed not to tell Asra what Julian had told you, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hint it at him until he came around to the idea that there was more to the story than he’d thought. Gentle persuasion.
“He’s not a good influence.”

“Why not?”

Asra looked genuinely upset by that answer, but it eased when you moved closer against his side. He mirrored your movements, moving in closer to you to rest his head on your shoulder. “He lies. He lures people in with his bright smiles and then tosses them away when he grows bored or needs something new. He likes to think that a single person can’t handle him.” You remembered Julian saying almost the same thing the day before and wondered who had put the idea there for both of them.

“Maybe he’s poly,” you suggested.

You wondered what you would do if either of them weren’t open to the suggestion. Who would you choose then? If either of them? And if your plan to bring them together worked but they only wanted one another, would you be able to stay friends with either of them?

The questions made you squirm uncomfortably.

“Then he should discuss that with his partners rather than sneaking around and lying.” 

“Maybe he wasn’t cheating. Maybe something else was going on that his partner didn’t know about.”

“That seems unlikely.”

“It’s just,” you started, trying to be delicate, “I’ve gotten to know Julian pretty well lately, and I just don’t think he’d be the kind of person that would cheat on someone or lie to someone. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Besides, he seems too sad for someone who intentionally did something wrong.” You shrugged, hoping it made your tone and demeanor seem less knowledgeable, less accusatory.

For long moments Asra just stared at you without saying anything. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but unlike Julian, it had always been a little more difficult for you to read Asra’s emotions. You were sure you were more adept than the rest of the population as Asra did a remarkable job hiding what he was thinking, but if he didn’t want you to know, then you were sure you wouldn’t. 

“Maybe you’re right,” he said. Asra had a guarded look about him, a sort of quiet but defensive contemplation. In a matter of moments it seemed that Asra had been transported far away. You gave him time, stroking a hand through his hair and waiting for him to come back to you. You hoped the quiet contemplation meant good things, that Asra might be reconsidering everything that had happened.

The quiet stretched between the two of you, comfortable.

“We should stop talking about Julian,” Asra finally said. He stretched out, head ending up in your lap. You ran your fingers through his hair. A small sigh escaped his lips that would have you in good spirits for the rest of the evening.

“How’s Faust been?” you asked, conceding to his request to steer away from any Julian talk. You didn’t want to push too hard and turn Asra off the conversation entirely.

Asra brightened immediately at the change in topic, going on to talk about how the snake had been doing recently. Asra hadn’t been able to bring her to campus, but his parents sent him weekly updates on all her escapades at home without him. Asra’s joy was infectious, soon bringing a smile to your face as well.

Chapter Text

“How about this one?” Portia asked, stepping out of the changing booth. She gave a twirl, dress’ red skirt spreading out around her. Gold trim embellished the edges, gleaming even in the dull light of the department store.

You nodded eagerly. “That’s definitely the one,” you told her.

“I thought so.” She smiled, bright and beautiful as she gave another spin, watching herself in the full-body mirror.

With the Masquerade only two weeks away, the two of you had carved out a quiet Friday afternoon to find your outfits. You could barely contain your excitement, popping into stores with Portia, trying on different outfits and styles. You’d already chosen yours, the bag sitting neatly at your side while Portia led her own little fashion show. Your thoughts kept drifting to how Julian and Asra would react when they saw you. It made your heart skip nervously, chest aching with anticipation.

Just two more weeks.

Portia smiled at you, but it crinkled in the corner, anxious. She bit into her bottom lip the same way Julian did when he felt unsure. “Portia?”

“NadiaismydatetotheMasquerade,” Portia blurted. She turned away, back toward the mirror, smoothing out the lines of her skirt. “It’s totally low-key,” she continued quickly, words tripping over themselves. “Because she’s a senior, and I’m just a freshman, but we might dance and hold hands and maybe take some pictures together. When she has time, of course! Because we’re hosting, and even though we have caterers and things, it’s probably still going to be so busy, so maybe she won’t have time to do any of that cheesy coupley-things, but that’s okay. And has Julian or Asra asked you yet?”

Her chest heaved as she finished talking, taking in an audible breath. Her eyes darted up toward yours in the mirror, and you saw through the glass the way your expression fell at the question. Two weeks away and neither Julian or Asra had even asked you yet.

“Oh, no! I shouldn’t have said anything!”

You gave Portia a smile, standing up to give her a hug. “It doesn’t matter,” you told her. “But you and Nadia! Tell me everything.”

Three days later, Julian stood waiting for you outside of one of your literature courses. He grinned, pushing himself off from against the wall when you came over to meet him. You hadn’t been expecting him, couldn’t remember having planned anything for the two of you that day. From behind his back, he produced a rose, grin turning into a smirk as he bowed, presenting it to you.

Your cheeks flushed as you took the flower from him. You could feel the stares of some of your classmates as they left the classroom, but none of them stopped or said anything. “What’s this for?” you asked him, careful of the thorns, touching the delicate petals with your fingertips.

“I’m wooing you, obviously,” Julian told you, straightening back up. He took your free hand to press a kiss against the knuckles.

“And how’s that working out for you?” you laughed.

“Well, you haven’t run away yet, so I must be doing just fine.”

He linked his arm with yours, and the two of you headed out from the building, the sunlight warm on your face as you stepped outside. Julian looked at you as the two of you walked, steps measured and leisurely.

“I did have a question for you.”

“Mmhm,” you asked, twisting the flower around by the stem. You watched the way the petals glinted in the light, the stem wet against your fingers. Julian’s eye looked only at you, a soft smile on his face. It made your heart stutter in your chest, stomach swooping. You felt full to bursting. The sunshine warm, the flower beautiful, you couldn’t imagine this moment being any more perfect. “What were you saying?” you prompted when Julian didn’t continue.

“Oh, yes, uh.” Julian flushed that lovely shade of red he did when he felt nervous. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking quite a lot lately,” and now Julian didn’t look over at you, hands fidgety. He cleared his throat, saying your name softly. “I’ve been unhappy for a long time, and it’s just that you’ve helped me see a way that I could be happy again.” Julian cleared his throat, smiling awkwardly. The world continued to move around the two of you, but it felt as if no one else existed. “Listen to me, chattering on. I know that I’m quite excellent at it. Look,” Julian stopped again, taking both of your hands in his and pulling you off the main walk, into the shadow of one of the ancient brick buildings, “I just wondered if you would do me the honor of going to the Masquerade with me.”

You felt your expression light up, buoyed by the shyly hopeful look on Julian’s face. “I would love to.”

Asra laughed when a duck bit at his shoe, throwing it more corn from the sack at his side. The duck waddled off, but not before giving Asra’s shoe a thorough nibble. Asra dusted his hands off before reaching over to take your hand. He smiled at you, almost more blinding than the sun overhead.

The campus pond glittered in the light, the ducks and geese scavenging in the grass for food or chirping lazily at each other in the water. You felt warm, content, with Asra at your side. It felt like such a long time since the night he’d taken you skating, one of the last times that things had truly felt comfortable between the two of you. Everything had been confusing recently, and you knew it had affected your relationship.

It was nice. To just be like this again.

Asra relaxed further into the wooden bench, tossing some more dried corn to the nearby birds, his other hand still curled around yours. In the distance, you could hear other students, chattering as they moved between classes or toward their residence hall. On the other side of the pond, a group of four were working their way through the disc golf course.

“I wanted to apologize,” Asra said into the quiet.

You turned to look at him, but Asra didn’t look at you, staring straight out toward the shifting water of the pond. A smile stayed on his face, but it wasn’t as bright as it had been before. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I’ve been neglectful lately,” Asra finally decided on. His thumb swept over the back of your hand. “I’ve been jealous,” he continued, honest, “especially of how much time you’ve been spending with Julian.” Asra looked back at you, smiling, but this time sadness edged around the corners.

“It’s okay, Asra.”

“It’s not,” he replied. “I’ve come to realize that I haven’t been paying you the attention that you deserve, and that I haven’t been completely forthcoming with my intentions.”

“Your ‘intentions’, huh?” you asked, a smile already spreading on your face.

Asra smiled back at you, brightened once again. The two of you had begun to lean in close, without even noticing the closing distance. If possible, Asra’s voice lowered further, “That’s right.”

“What would those intentions be?” you teased.

He didn’t bother to answer with words, leaning in the last bit of distance to kiss you. One hand stayed wrapped around yours while his other went to your shoulder, steady and firm. It smoothed down the front of your clothes to rest against the pounding of your heart. You let your hand travel to his hair, pushing through the impossibly soft locks.

When you pulled away, it wasn’t to go far, your breaths panting in the small space between you, hot. Asra’s eyes were hooded, tracing the lines of your face. “Did that clear things up?”

“I don’t know. You might need to make yourself just a little bit clearer.”

Asra laughed and kissed you again.

“Will you be my date to the Masquerade?” Asra asked you later, your head resting on his shoulder while the two of you basked in the sun.

“Yes,” you breathed. Your heart picked up, rattling in your chest. Two dates to the Masquerade, one from each of the two people you loved so dearly. For the first time since you’d put your plans in motion you wondered what would happen if they blew up spectacularly.

“I meant what I said.” Asra traced invisible lines into your palm. “I wanted this, to be something more than what we had been, with you. I know that I’ve been neglectful of it, of you, and I’m sorry for that.”

“I was confused at first,” you admitted, “but we made it here in the end.”

Asra pressed a kiss against the side of your head. The two of you had always been affectionate, but that had tapered off in the last few months. You relished in it now, the return of the closeness between the two of you. Comforting and familiar and freeing.

“We did, and I will do my best to show this to you each and every day that you let me.”

Chapter Text

“Could I interest you in a dance?” You turned around to find Asra standing behind you. He had a hand out toward you. The halls of the downtown venue were crowded, masked students mingling and laughing, dancing and eating. Nadia had spared no expense, transforming the convention center into a sparkling wonderland.

The upper half of Asra’s face was covered by a fox mask, each line painstakingly painted and delicate. You knew he’d spent hours on it, and you were so proud of how well it had turned out. A soft smile spread across the lower half of his face when you accepted his hand. He pulled you from the hall and toward the ballroom where the music flowed out into the rest of the Masquerade.

The DJ played a softer song, the words of which you didn’t recognize, but you let Asra pull you into the gentle sway, right on the edges of the crowd. People had paired off, couples moving close together, enamored with one another. When you glanced over, you saw that Asra only had eyes for you, staring out from behind his mask. It made your cheeks flush, but he didn’t comment.

You let yourself be lulled by the rhythm of the music, by Asra’s heartbeat against your hand. You wrapped your other hand around Asra’s neck, fingers lightly touching the ends of his white curls, smiling at the prickling feel of the hair gel he’d used to keep in in place for the night.

When the song ended, you pulled away, staying close, one of Asra’s hands in your own. You glanced briefly around the room, hoping to catch sight of Julian among the crowd. You’d convinced him to meet you there, now you just needed time to find him and set in motion your plan to get the three of you together. To give space for the two of them to finally put everything out in the open.

You refused to think about all the little ways that everything could go wrong

“Want to grab a drink?” you asked, lips against Asra’s ear so that he’d be able to hear you over the music. You’d seen no sign of Julian, but he had to be around somewhere, you just needed to find him. Asra didn’t answer aloud, instead giving you an encouraging nod and pulling you out of the ballroom.

You led Asra toward the dining room, the sound of music faded away the further into the crowd you weaved. “Did Nadia set up a bubble room this year? It was my favorite at the last Masquerade.”

“She did!” You glanced over your shoulder at Asra, smiling brightly back at him, mirroring the contentment you saw in the soft lines of his face. “We can go there next if you’d like.”

He gave your hand a squeeze in answer. “Let’s.” Slipping into the dining room, you paused, only a little overwhelmed by the crowd. Everyone from Vesuvia University had to have shown up. On either side of the room were two large buffets filled with desserts, fruits, and a chocolate fountain or two. On the far end was your destination, the fully stocked bar. “Strawberry?” Asra asked, plucking it off the buffet as the two of you passed.

“Why, thank you,” you purred, plucking the strawberry out of Asra’s hand with your teeth. You watched the way Asra’s eyes darkened at the action, the tightening of his hand in yours. He let it continue for only a moment before pressing forward to kiss you, masks clicking together.

“Bubble room?” you asked when he pulled away.

“Bubble room,” Asra agreed, ordering the two of you soft drinks from the bartender before heading back out the door.

Asra led you through the halls, just short of running, a smile on his face the entire time, dodging around the crowded hallways. When he threw open one of the doors, the two of you found yourself in the bubble room, the air filled all the way to the tall ceiling with shiny, soapy bubbles. They whirled into the air from machines or by people waving large bubble wands. The place would definitely be a soapy, sticky mess by morning but at that moment, all you cared about were the arrays of rainbow bubbles swirling through the air.

“Why is this your favorite room?” you asked Asra, reaching out a hand to catch a bubble, popping the moment it met your skin.

He grinned, picking up a bubble wand from one of the tables. The wand was shaped like a cat, but the bubble that came out when Asra gracefully guided the wand through the air was a perfectly round sphere. It wobbled as it ascended, popping only when it ran into another, even larger bubble.

“I’m not sure,” Asra answered. “There’s just something almost magical about this room. He reached out his hand to tap his sticky fingers against your nose. It startled a laugh out of you until the two of you were laughing, smearing the soapy mess against one another’s skin.

“I’m definitely going to need a shower after this,” you said, face aching from your smile. “At least you didn’t get any on my outfit.”

“Of course not,” Asra purred. “I couldn’t ruin such a lovely piece of craftsmanship.”

Before you could retort, your phone vibrated, startling you out of the conversation. You gave Asra an apologetic look, pulling it out to see a text from Portia.

J SIGHTED IN THE BALLROOM. OVER.

Sudden anticipation boiled in your stomach. A glance at Asra saw him with his back to you, blowing bubbles into the air. You texted Portia back.

Good keep him there omw

roger

You slipped your phone away, expression feeling plastered on. Your stomach twisted painfully in anxiety. Almost time. You’d been having such a wonderful time with Asra, and now you needed to know what would happen next. He threw a hand around your middle when you came up next to him, pressing against him to ask, “Will you go dance with me again?”

“I’d love to,” he answered, putting away his bubble wand.

Just like before, the ballroom was packed. Everyone seemed to move together with the music, pressed tight against their dancing partners. A glittering crystal chandelier hung from the center of the ceiling. You didn’t see Julian immediately.

Asra swung you around until the two of you faced one another, pulling you close. Unlike earlier, you felt your attention wandering, eyes not only focused on Asra but scanning the crowd over his shoulder each time he twirled you around. After two more songs you found him. Julian. Dressed in black and a deep red, a raven’s mask on his face, looking terribly awkward by himself near the edge of the room.

He’d been watching you, you could tell, even across the distance. You beckoned him over.

At first, Julian seemed startled you’d acknowledge him. He hesitated before working himself into motion, forcing himself away from the wall. After a few steps, he became more confident, making his way purposefully across the room. You felt the moment that Asra noticed him, felt the way he stiffened in your arms, eyes tracking Julian until he stood next to the two of you.

“May I have this dance?” Julian asked, offering his hand with a small bow.

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face, even as Asra looked between the two of you, not saying anything. “Of course you can!” You took Julian’s hand and placed in it Asra’s before either of them realized what you’d done. “I’m sure Asra would be more than happy to dance with you.”

“That’s not-” Julian began at the same time that Asra growled out a, “He wasn’t asking-” They both cut off hearing the other speak, freezing to glare at one another. Or well, Asra was glaring. Julian instead seemed to realize they were still holding hands and snatched his away.

Portia arrived just at that moment, shouting, “Dance with me!” and grabbing your hands to pull you away. Once you’d gone only a few steps away, she stage whispered, “So, how’s it going?” When the both of you looked over, Julian and Asra were staring at one another, Julian’s arms crossed rigidly across his chest.

“Hard to say,” you answered. Your plan had been to bring them together, create a situation in which they had to confront one another, and you’d certainly managed at least that.

“I’m not going to listen to this, Julian!” Asra growled, voice unusually loud. The noise caught the attention of those nearby, pausing to look over at the commotion, probably hoping for a fight.

“Guess that answers that question,” you sighed.

You took a step toward them, ready to intervene, but the lights dimmed, the music cutting out. With the rest of the ballroom, you stopped, head swiveling over toward the DJ stand. A man stood at the top of the stairs. The lights didn’t come back up, but it almost looked like a spotlight had been turned onto him. He threw his arms out to the side, “Hello, Vesuvia University!” he called into the mic.

Claps and cheers came up from many of the assembled students. “Who is that?” Portia hissed.

You shrugged, feeling out of place.

“It’s Lucio,” Nadia said. You hadn’t even noticed her nearby, but she was there now, standing next to Portia. She didn’t look at either of you, her gaze focused on the man, Lucio, up on staircase.

Your stomach did somersaults, seeing Lucia up at the top of the stairs. With a unique name like that, he knew it had to be the same Lucio had Nadia used to date. The same Lucio that had created the rift between Asra and Julian in the first place.

Before anyone could say anything else, Lucio continued, “I know, I know.” He began stepping slowly down the stairs, making sure to stay above everyone’s heads, ensuring that everyone in the ballroom could see him. While it had gone quiet inside, sound spilled in from the conversations in the rest of the Masquerade. “I know that you’ve missed me. I just wanted to get up and acknowledge this beautiful Masquerade that Nadia has put together for us all.” He paused, gesturing the Nadia through the crowd, smile blinding. He let the cheers of agreement die down before continuing. “Not as beautiful as what I could have done, obviously. But she did great in my absence! Speaking of absence, I’m here to announce that despite the horrible things that happened to me at the last Masquerade, I will be returning full-time to Vesuvia University!”

Chapter Text

You turned, eyes wide and afraid to find Julian no where to be seen. You spun in a circle, frantic, but couldn’t catch sight of him. He seemed to have evaporated into the crowd. Asra stood where you’d left him, eyes staring up at Lucio along with the rest of the gathered students. You couldn’t exactly read his expression, but he didn’t seem pleased.

Everything had fallen apart so quickly. Your stomach twisted into knots, nauseous, mind completely blank except for the coiling of fear. You didn’t know where Julian had gone, and you were so afraid of what state he’d be in when you did find him. In the last few months together, he’d progressed so far from the self-deprecating man that you’d meet. He’d become so much more confidant and relaxed in himself. You had no idea what Lucio’s sudden reappearance would do to him.

“I’d like to speak, Lucio,” Nadia said, voice ringing out through the ballroom without the help of a microphone. Heads swiveled to look at her, but Lucio kept beaming.

“Of course, Noddy. Anything for you.” He reached out an arm to her as if to pull her through the crowd toward him.

“You both go find Julian,” Nadia instructed. Her eyes stayed fixated on Lucio, but you knew she was speaking to you and Portia, voice quiet, just for the three of you. “I’ll take care of Lucio.” Nadia headed for the stairs across the ballroom, the crowd parting around her. The two of you watched her go, Portia’s eyes wide and enamored.

“She’s perfect,” Portia whispered right before you grabbed her arm and pulled her out through the crowd toward the door.

You heard Nadia’s voice just before you were swallowed up by the hallway. “Yes, let’s talk about what really happened at the last Masquerade, shall we?”

“Where could Julian be?” you asked miserably. You flopped down onto a chair in the buffet room, taking the drink that Portia passed over to you. It seemed like ages since the two of you had left the ballroom, and you hadn’t seen so much as a tailcoat of Julian’s. You’d been in every room at least twice but nothing.

“Maybe we should go around one more time,” Portia suggested. She gave a little halfhearted shrug as she said it. You could tell by the look on her face that she was just as worried about her brother as you were.

You didn’t voice your most worried thought, that Julian had left the Masquerade entirely. He could be anywhere in Vesuvia.

You took another swallow of the water, before setting the empty cup aside. “Okay,” you decided. “Let’s go around one more time. He has to be here somewhere.”

“Let’s check outside again,” Portia suggested. “It was really dark, maybe we missed him.”

Portia wasn’t wrong about the courtyard being dark. As soon as you stepped out from the lights of the convention hall into the beautiful courtyard garden, you felt like you could barely see anything. Lanterns glittered in the trees, but they cast long shadows in the corners and against the pavement.

“I’ll check the corners, you check near the fountain?” Portia asked.

“Of course. Meet you back here soon.” Portia nodded, disappearing into the dark.

Alone, you made your way toward the fountain in the center of the courtyard. Little lights around it had it lit up like a solitary beacon. The last time you and Portia had checked the courtyard you’d heard the low murmur of voices, whispered giggles in the darkness. Since then, it seemed like people had cleared out, the only sound the rush of water from the fountain. Even the chatter form inside seemed dim and faraway.

Except. That wasn’t entirely true. A couple of paces to your right, you could hear voices, hushed in the dark. You took a step in the direction of the voices, straining to hear them over the sounds of the fountain. Something about the sound, the cadence, urged you closer until your hear stuck in your chest at the sound of Julian’s voice.

“Portia convinced me not to withdraw, to stick the rest of the my program out,” you heard him say. His voice came from around the corner of a nearby hedge. You could have cried with how relieved you were to hear him.

You were about to round the corner to him when you heard Asra answer. “She’s a good sister,” he said. You paused, heart leaping in your chest. Your hands brushed against the prickly hedge, but you didn’t dare get closer, didn’t dare interrupt them when they were finally talking.

“She is,” and you could hear the smile in Julian’s voice even if you couldn’t see him.

“So, that it? You get roped into committing academic dishonesty, and when you tell him you’re not going to anymore, Lucio stages some elaborate reveal that the two of you have been going behind Nadia and I’s backs?”

“Lucio always has been overly dramatic.” Julian let out a sigh, the sound soft. “I have texts if you want me to prove it to you. I’ve kept them all. Just in case.”

“You don’t need to do that.” Quiet stretched between the two of them. You listened, wondering if you should come out of hiding, but you were too afraid to break this moment. You knew that the two of them needed it. Fabric rustled, and when Asra let out a breath, you knew he’d taken off his mask.

“I should have listened to you when it happened,” Asra said quietly. “I was angry, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I was so worried about protecting myself, that I didn’t think about anything else. I didn’t think about how you were feeling.”

“I understand,” Julian replied. “I know that I’m not what most people would fight for.”

“And that’s just about enough of that.” Asra responded quickly.

“Asra’s right, you know,” you finally said, stepping forward until you could make out the silhouettes of your two favorite people, sitting closely, intimately, together on a bench. “You’re not allowed to talk down on yourself anymore. Those are the rules.”

If either of them were surprised to see you, they didn’t show it. Asra immediately reached out a hand to you, and you took it, letting him guide you down to the bench with them, Julian sandwiched between the two of you. You felt Julian tense, being trapped between you, but it didn’t last long before he relaxed.

“I’ve missed you,” Julian said quietly into the dark. You weren’t sure which of the two of you he was talking too, but it didn’t matter. He took your hand, lacing your fingers together, letting them rest on top of your lap. “And I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Asra answered, voice a soft purr.

Julian’s hand tighten almost painfully around yours, and he let out a shuddering sigh. Reaching out, you brushed his tears away with your free hand. “I’m so glad that the two of you have been able to talk,” you told them.

“Nadia revealed to everyone just what kind of person Lucio is in the ballroom earlier,” Asra responded quietly. “She explained what he’d done to you.”

“Nadia knew?” you asked, “the whole time?”

“I don’t know about the whole time,” Asra replied. “But I think between you and Portia and her own experiences with Lucio, that she may have put some things together. I’m not sure if she would have said anything if Lucio hadn’t shown up tonight. I’m so glad she did. I should have listened in the first place.”

“It’s okay,” Julian said.

“It’s not. I will make it up to you.”

Julian laughed, the sound loud and wet. “I love you,” he said, voice reverent. “Both of you.”

“I love you too,” Asra responded. “I don’t think I ever really stopped. It’s probably why I’ve been so angry for so long. And you,” he continued, and then Asra was on your other side, leaving you cushioned in the middle between the two of them. “Thank you for helping me get back to the person that I was. I love you.”

“Well, isn’t this all a bit of a mess,” Julian laughed.

“It doesn’t have to be,” your responded immediately. One of their hands were in each of yours, all three of your shoulders pressing together, warm. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, about the both of you a lot lately, and I really think this could work. The three of us. If you’ll have me?”

“Of course we’ll have you,” Julian purred, and you didn’t think you’d ever felt so complete.

Chapter Text

Staring up at the sky, body cushioned by greening grass, you thought about how the vast expanse of blue looked like a great lake overhead. An ant crawled over one of your fingers, and you flicked it away absently.

Next to you, Asra let out a long breath. You heard the contentment in the sound and couldn’t agree more. A moment later, you felt him take your hand, pressing kisses against the knuckles.

“I’m really going to miss the two of you,” Julian said. The silence had stretched on for so long you thought maybe he’d fallen asleep. When he turned to him, you found him propped up on his elbows, sleeves of his shirt rolled up in the mid-spring air. He watched you and Asra, expression soft.

In two more weeks, the academic year would be coming to an end, and your two favorite people would be graduating. If you had to pick a word to describe the last year, you would have said soft. Julian and Asra had spent it relearning one another, and relearning how to be them plus you. When the three of you weren’t together, the two of them had been studying like crazy. Julian had taken the MCAT at the end of the winter and been accepted into medical school a hundred miles away. It wasn’t far necessarily, but you’d gotten so used to see him everyday, seeing the both of them. The thought of him being so far made your chest ache.

You knew that Julian worried too, about drifting apart from you and Asra. Asra had picked up an internship in a nearby suburb, so while he wouldn’t be on campus everyday, he’d be close. Julian’s concerns were etched into the creases of his face, constant worry twisting his otherwise contented expression.

“We’ll miss you too,” you told him, reaching out a hand to smooth down the side of his face. His eyes closed briefly. We’ll talk over the phone all the time, and video call whenever you can. It’s only a couple more years until I graduate, and we’re having to find an apartment big enough for the three of us.”

“And we’ll come up to reassure you whenever you need it,” Asra joined in.

You knew that Julian would still worry, but some of it melted, just a little bit, from around his eyes. “Promise.”

“Promise,” you and Asra agreed.

“Hey!” the three of you turned together to see Portia and Nadia. Portia waved, expression bright, hand in Nadia’s. “Do the three of you want to grab dinner with us?” she asked.

“Well, I suppose we can spare the time,” Asra decided. Together, he and Julian helped you to your feet, and with the warmth of them on either side of you, you couldn’t imagine your life any other way.