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Akito hated them. All of them.
Seriously.
An always takes him by surprise. She touches him randomly and without warning; a warning he desperately needs as to not implode. One that he knows he'll never receive. He resigns himself to the fact that he will just get a heart attack every time she shows up.
She runs up behind him and jumps on his back, forcing him to catch her. She appears before him, hugging him as she gushes over how she thinks she did well on a test, or at least well enough to do better than him. She comes back sulking when results are out. She slips her arm between his, dragging him along with her on her next adventure, usually to get lunch and sometimes to hang out with Akiyama. She sneaks up on him and takes off his earrings, her fingers are cold as she slides them out of his ear. She's sticking her tongue out at him as she confiscates them. Though, she returns them soon after, fingers brushing against his palm as she places them down. She's comfortable, he notices, the exact opposite of her usual demeanor when carrying out her committee duties. She scolds him, telling him not to break the dress code again.
He doesn't listen; she takes his earrings again the next day. Her fingers are still cold.
Touya was taller than him. It may be just a couple centimeters, but it was a couple centimeters too much, he thinks. It was probably only because of the many years they'd been together, but there were too many times he rested his chin on his shoulder. Too many times he would be just a fraction of a centimeter too close. He's leaning over, helping him study for the next test. He's adjusting one of his layers of clothing (which he doesn't need to do, honestly). He's transferring squid from his lunch to Akito's. He's singing next to him. Always a fraction of a centimeter too close.
Too many times his heart raced because of those fractions, those couple seconds. Too many times he had to calm himself down with pure willpower, his thoughts occupied by the brief touch.
Too many times he's wished it was just a fraction of a centimeter closer.
Then there was Kohane. Kohane and her shy, brief touches. Her gentle pats on the back. Kohane and her sparkling eyes when he chose matching outfits for all of them to wear. Her bright smile as she grabs his hand and places a microphone in it. She closes his hand around it, even knowing he could do it himself.
She grabs his hand after falling down, letting herself be pulled up. She's light, he's reminded. He pulls her up too hard, and she stumbles into his arms. He realizes how small she really is. A few moments later An shows up to check on her. Touya follows behind. She backs up, apologizing. Her grasp lingers a few seconds longer than it should. She lets go of his hand, though it almost seems reluctant. Her fingers seem to stay around his hands for as long as possible. It must've been his own delusion.
But he wishes she held it longer. He wishes he held on tighter.
So, maybe it was because An finally found the perfect way to tease him as she pleased, whenever and wherever she wanted. Or because Touya found his way to make him flustered with just a slight brush against his hand. Or it could even be because of Kohane and her disgustingly innocent touches that she probably didn't even realize were making his heart race.
He really did hate all of them.
It was frustrating. In all honesty, they probably didn't even know what they were doing to his heart. They didn't even know that every time he was with them his heart would race a million miles an hour. The way he had to repress this feeling in his heart every practice. Every day. Every second.
He hated that most of all.
They didn't know he was in love with them.
Ah, fuck. His thoughts froze.
How selfish was he to hate them for that?