Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Today, Obi-Wan had planned a very nice day that included no stress, no work, no people. Just him, his tea, one of Qui-Gon's old blankets that should have been thrown away ages ago, and his favourite holoshow.

The Stewjoni was comfortably burritoed, letting the news on as background sound until it was time for the holoshow to start. He didn’t like that holochannel very much, their animators easily got on his nerves, but it was the only one he had found that had his holoshow in the original language (Ryl) and with subtitles (which was quite useful for the more discreet Twi'leki he still hadn't quite gotten the hang of).

So, he could make such a sacrifice.

To pass the time, the Jedi entered a light meditative state. It wasn’t deep enough that he couldn’t hear what was going around, but it wasn’t simply waiting either. He never liked doing simply nothing, and unlike what some people thought, meditation was not the same as doing nothing. Well, at least not like the nothing before sleep that made his thoughts spiralled out of control, or the one that was just a moment before something happened and when everything was out of his control. Yes, this was a controlled nothing, of sorts.

That’s how he managed to hear the two words that would instantly break his meditative state, his attention now solely focused on the screen. The Quarren, Qid Frez, spoke them without an ounce of care, and the Twi’lek, Azira Melanlya, was smiling as if he just told her a new movie was coming out. Obi-Wan wasn’t surprised in the least, that kind of people lived on dramas, but their complete lack of concern about anything besides entertainment especially got on his nerves at the moment.

“Qid, my dear, you might have to repeat that. I’m not sure our dear audience quite believed you the first time around- look at their faces! Poor them!”

“Well, I certainly can’t blame them, Azi! When our dear, dear informant gave us the news, I was- I was absolutely fla-bber-gas-ted! Another one, again? I swear, it’s like this woman thrives on those. Scandal Kryze! She must like how big they make her name everywhere, with how often it happens. Don’t you think so?”

There is no emotion, certainly not in his tightened fists, there is peace.

“I couldn’t have said it better- And so does the whole family, if you’d tell us about it?”

“Certainly, dear. Although, our dear audience will have to bear a little context before we get to the juicy, juicy part- but fear not my dears, it shouldn’t be too long! Now, now, if you haven’t been living in a hole, you all have most certainly heard of the poor, poor tragedy that happened yesterday, yes?”

“Well, Qid, it would certainly have been hard to miss it! An assassination attempt on the famous senator Bail Organa? That would hardly have been a small thing, even if the bomb hadn’t been strong enough to explode a dozen rooms in the process!”

Obi-Wan hoped they would just get to the point of this. Remembering how his friend almost died the day before was not something he wanted to hear about much, especially when said friend was still recovering from it and he hadn’t had the chance yet to meet with him in person to see for himself that he was fine. He couldn’t until the whole affair had been taken care of, and that is why he had wanted to pass a nice, quiet day thinking about nothing but sappy romance and dumb plot twists that you could see from ten galaxies away. Obviously, something just had to ruin it.

“It certainly was a close one, Avi! In fact, if it was not for a certain someone, he might not have at all. It is quite a feat to survive a fall from the Senator’s office, I must say. Organa must certainly be thankful there are elevators in the Senate building.”

“Well, I would be thankful to see these thighs and ass of his if there weren’t, but I guess I’ll just have to imagine it,” she giggled, Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, she continued, “Let’s see the video of this mysterious saviour, shall we?”

A shaky recording appeared on the screen. The Stewjoni wanted to close his eyes and not see it, but he was still… well, curious. What had Satine to do with Bail’s..? The Death Watch certainly had no reason to target him, and unless this was some twisted attempt to make the Duchess look bad… well, it was a terrible one. All in all, it didn’t make sense, and Obi-Wan could only watch and wait to discover what was going on.

The recording was made by someone in a crowd talking quickly in Huttese, and no one bothered to translate anything of it. There were only people running in a panic, as usual after an explosion… until, suddenly, the recording turned at the sky, and the person filming pointed at something growing. After a few seconds, the something became someone, and two people at that. One was easily recognizable as Bail, thanks to his familiar cape, but the recording itself was of too poor quality to easily tell the other.

However, there was something Obi-Wan had no difficulty recognizing. The man -or perhaps boy, it was hard to tell with such poor recording, and with the age he would have been most likely at- was a Stewjoni. He had the very easily recognizable (and valuable) wings of the species, his species. They were even more so recognizable to Obi-Wan, given he had a pair of his own.

Now, the Jedi Master would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised to see another Stewjoni. There wasn’t a lot of them that left their homeworld, mostly to protect themselves. He preferred not to think too much about what the person speaking in Huttese was actually saying exactly for that reason. The few that did leave were often Force-sensitives, and they… well, they often left to protect themselves, too. He was familiar with that scenario. Although, in all cases, they rarely exposed themselves as Stewjoni when roaming the galaxy. While Obi-Wan was glad for the safety of his friend, he hoped the other Stewjoni’s would not suffer from exhibiting this side of himself to such an audience. Being one of the poster boy Jedi in the GAR had made him quite acutely familiar with that reality.

Still, it did not explain why it was related to Satine, or why it was making the news. As if they heard his thoughts, the recording stopped.

"Now, now, my dear audience, I know what you all are about to say, but do not fear! Your dear Qid would never, ever offer you such poor news if there wasn't something more interesting about it, and we're almost there!"

"That's right! Qid, please tell our poor waiting audience who that kid is! He's adorable, but surely, there is more to him than that, yes?"

"Well, Avi, you're just as perceptive as ever!" As if this wasn't scripted… "Remember who we were speaking of earlier, dear? Well, this is none other than the Duchess's nephew himself, is who that is!"

Oh. He really, really hoped Satine's nephew wouldn't get trouble because of- wait, she never told him she had Stewjoni relatives of any sort? …Well, he never knew she had a nephew at all until Ahsoka told him about it, so it wasn’t the surprise of the year either. He would need to call her later about it, but he didn't want to bother her if she was already dealing with the press. He knew himself how troublesome they were.

"Korkie Kryze, isn't it? Well, that is some news indeed, Qid! But, what about it? I think our audience is very eager to hear your theory- surely you have one for us, yes?"

"Oh, dear, I believe I have more than that. I think that this recording, yes, this very recording is the key! The proof! of a theory that had gotten around Coruscant more than once, but never before had truly been proven. See, Azi, a lot of people have wondered about the celibacy of our dear Duchess."

When it was none of their business, of course. Obi-Wan was not being protective, Satine just didn't have to explain why she chose not to enter a relationship, and he would have a lot of words with anyone if they thought otherwise. Once the Duchess was done with them first, of course. He knew she could defend herself in that regard, he just…

Alright, maybe he was a little protective.

"Oh, oh, oooooh! I knew such a beau-ti-ful woman could not have truly remained celibate for so long- ah, secret romances! As lovely as they are, the best part is when they are finally brought to the public's eye. The relief the poor lovers will feel once they are accepted- please, please, please, Qid, I cannot wait anymore!"

Obi-Wan was a little ashamed to say he couldn't wait much any longer either. He had a weird feeling about this.

"Say no more, Azi! It would be cruel of me to continue this charade. This is how it goes: we all know that one plus one equals two, and the convorees and the gnasps work similarly enough. Now, I am far from a professional geneticist, as surprising as it may seem-" It was not. "But! I don't believe it takes a genius to guess what is going on. Tell me, Azi, how does the Duchess's nephew look like?"

"Besides adorable? Well, dear, I would lie if I said that no one out there would be jealous of this handsome jawline of his. His hair colour would certainly also make many envious; he can only hope it won't change as he grows -the ginger streaks sure will make more than one swoon, I can tell- and, that's not even mentioning his eyes! The Kryze do have really good genes, and I wouldn't mind sharing, if you get what I mean…" she winked at the camera, but Obi-Wan was too focused on trying to understand where this was going to mind much.

"Good, good! Now, Azi, if we summarize: we have the handsome, blond-ginger-haired, blue-eyed, Stewjoni-Mandalorian nephew with no parent we know of -for surely they would rule or advise their sister?- of a duchess that swears celibacy… Doesn't this sound a little suspicious to you, when we have a certain, well-known, ginger Stewjoni who seems to constantly orbit close to the Duchess?"

Was there? She never mentioned one… but then, it could be a stalker for all he knew, he shouldn’t think too much of it. These animators were stupidly getting to him, and he still felt like he was missing something important about the whole thing.

"Oh! You think- wouldn't that be improper? I thought a Jedi's oath- and, hasn't he many… ahem, acquaintances in the Senate, beside the Duchess? Surely…" the Twi'lek paused, looking thoroughly pensive until, finally, she settled on a growing grin, "Well, now that you mention it, I can see it. It would make a better story for sure."

It was starting to get oddly personal, but then, he would- no, that just couldn't be it… but, his brain also scrambled rather unsuccessfully to remember another Stewjoni Jedi that could possibly know Satine. The ginger part was easy, most people of his species had that hair colour… the 'well-known' one, not quite so.

Hypothetically speaking, and only hypothetically, Satine would have told him if… something more… had come out of their, ahem, youthful pleasant time… right?

“Well, Azi, I’ll let you and our delightful audience make your very own opinion, now! After all, it wouldn’t do if I began acting presumptuous, even if I cannot deny that I am quite confident this time that I am right.”

“More or less than your Hero with No Fear and Naboo Senator love story, my dear Qid?”

“Well, that’s a hard one! I would dare say that I feel equally confident. After all, it would surely explain a lot of things. Like Master, like Padawan, wouldn’t you think? Indeed, if we look at the three of them together…”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes at the mention of Anakin’s very badly hidden love story but suddenly froze. On the screen, Satine, a man he was the most familiar with in all the galaxies and a boy that was just too fitting with the two of them to be the product of chance all stared at him, and the words of the Quarren animator came back to simultaneously hit him.

Like Master, like Padawan.

The sound of his heart trying to force his way out of his chest covered the incessant beeping of his comlink and the insistent banging on his door.

Chapter Text

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[14 new messages in Friends (and Vos)]

halfshadowhalfhimbo: @mandofucker omg, so you really did the do with the duchess with master jinn, like, two meters away? you’re my hero

halfshadowhalfhimbo: also who changed the group name

bantering: somehow i’m not surprised that we found out about a tiny kenobi’s existence by the fact he almost killed himself by trying to save someone else

theluminousone: i would have doubted the claim if he didn’t

siriously: i would have been disappointed if he didn’t

notmullning: you 3 are far too calm with the fact we have 2 kenobi running around being all self-sacrificial

rift: i’d say i agree but like, it’s obi

halfshadowhalfbimbo: exactly

bantering: exactly

theluminousone: exactly

siriously: exactly

notmullning: alright, fair enough

notmullning: and that’s always been the group name, quin

halfshadowhalfhimbo: betrayal, the lot of you

~

[1 new message from Duchess Satine Kryze, to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

My Dear Obi-Wan,

There is an urgent matter I need to discuss with you.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

Yours truly,

Satine

P.S. I am not in immediate danger or hurt. I know you, my dearest worrywart.

~

[1 new message from theREALfavoritepadawan, to oldman]

theREALfavoritepadawan: LET ME IN

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[Notice of summoning]

Jedi Master and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi is to head the Council Room ASAP.

~

[5 new messages from thefavoritepadawan, to bestgrandmaster]

thefavoritepadawan: hey master obi-wan, skyguy is kinda making a hole in your door rn

thefavoritepadawan: and he’s using his squishy human hand to do it

thefavoritepadawan: can someone just tell me what’s wrong

thefavoritepadawan: help me master obi-wan, you’re my only hope

thefavoritepadawan: oh force i think he’s bleeding now

~

[1 new message from Jedi Master Plo Koon, to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Greetings, Obi-Wan.

I have learned of the great news concerning your ever-growing lineage, and I must say I am very proud as well as glad for you.

Please, do not hesitate to send me a message should you find yourself in need of help of any kind!

Sincerely,

Master Plo Koon

~

[2 new messages from theREALfavoritepadawan, to oldman]

theREALfavoritepadawan: I KNOW YOU’RE THERE

~

[1 new message from Senator Bail Organa, to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Hello, my friend.

I know I am presently not in the best condition to help you, but still, I wanted to remind you that should you need someone to lend an ear, I would be glad to. However, I also understand that what you might instead need is a little solitude in these times that I can only guess are overwhelming.

Either way, I can only hope we will meet again soon.

Take care,

Bail

~

[1 new message from (Blocked), to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Hello to you, my best Jedi friend!

I have received some of the most unusual news in this fine morning, and I could hardly believe my ears, for, surely, you, my friend, would have shared such wonderful news with your very dear friend Hondo if it were true!

And thus, I regretfully must ask you this very question: is there truly a tiny little Kenobi roaming the galaxy? If the answer is yes, I must say I am deeply impressed by your ability to hide such a fine young man for so long, as well as deeply hurt by your lack of sharing with your friends, especially yours truly.

In either case, I dearly look forward to our next meeting, and possibly, of this youngling of yours.

Your friend,

Hondo

~

[2 new messages from Unknown, to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Unknown: Taking on Skywalker was one thing, but having a child with a New Mandalorian?

Unknown: You’re losing your favourite points, grandpadawan.

~

[1 new message from Marshal Commander Cody, to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Greetings, sir.

I have little doubt that you have an idea of why I am contacting you, General. Given the recent rumour that many of the vode have discovered on the Holonet and then have shared amongst each other, I would wish to clear this matter with you directly.

If you could contact me at your earliest convenience to discuss, I would then gladly inform the men of what you wish me to tell them and make sure they avoid further discussion of the matter, if necessary.

Respectfully,

Commander Cody

~

[1 new message from Mace, to Obi-Wan]

Mace: Why. is it. always. your lineage.

~

[1 new message from Senator Padmé Amidala, to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Hi, Obi-Wan!

I guess you must be getting quite the number of messages right now, and I apologize for adding to them. However, I know Anakin is already on his way there and since I know he’ll beat around the bush forever and ever, well, we’re married. We’re sorry for not telling you sooner.

I assume you must be in contact with Satine at the moment so I’ll simply say here that I’m happy for the both of you. Don’t worry too much about the press, I’m sure they’ll find soon enough another hot topic to dissect.

Best wishes,

Padmé

~

[2 new messages from Grandmaster Yoda, to Grand-grandpadawan Obi-Wan]

Grandmaster Yoda: This, you deserve.

Grandmaster Yoda: [A short video showing Yoda hitting someone’s shin with his gimer stick. A voice that sounded strangely like Ki-Adi-Mundi’s yelped more or less at the same time it cut.]