Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

— I… I’ve found an entrance to the DigiWorld — Takato said, with an hesitant tone.

Saying that almost hurt him. He could hear his heart scream, betrayed. He should have kept that to himself. He should be gone already. Just him, running through the surreal landscapes in the search of Guilmon. That was what he really wanted, that was what he planned to do. Just go; no warning, no goodbyes, not telling a single soul.

He was ready to do that, he thought no one could stop him. But someone did. He saw her crying last night. He saw her, but she didn’t see him. Ruki wept and screamed and wailed, for she missed Renamon more than she was capable of bearing. She had a ragged doll in her arms, but she spoke to it as if it was her long lost friend. She pleaded at the doll to come back, she told it how much pain she was in because of its absence. Her life felt empty. Nothing could fill the hole it left behind. The ugly little doll said nothing, staring lifelessly into the empty space between them.

Shaken and honestly scared, Takato could not bring himself to say something. He was planning to pay her a visit, secretly the last one, and found her like that. After he managed to stop watching, he silently got out and went home. Staring at his packed bags that night, he felt a monster for wanting to keep that golden chance to himself. Suddenly, he lost the guts to go through with his secret plan.

Next morning, instead of going to the DigiWorld, never to be seen again, he called his friends to tell them his secret. It was a painful decision to consider last night. It was a painful decision to take that morning. But mostly, it was a really painful decision to go through right now, standing there in the park with his two friends.

— Wait, really?! — Jen asked, exasperated, his eyes being taken by a light that had been gone since that dreadful day. — We have to tell my dad! And also my sister, and Kenta and Hirokazu; and those little kids that shared Impmon.

Takato felt sick. He was so, so afraid. Last time he let his little secret get out that much, he ended up losing his best friend. Yes, of course a lot of good things also came out of it, but he couldn't stop himself from wondering if he didn’t let anyone know about him, would he still have Guilmon now. He was especially afraid of the adults. It was them who ultimately betrayed them. It was all their fault. The more time passed, the bigger the grudge in his heart grew. On the day that they all got separated, Takato maybe just felt bittersweet, melancholic. But now? Now he felt angry. And that anger burned inside him at that moment.

— No! — Takato screamed at Jen, interrupting his excited monolog. — We lost them them thanks to your dad and his stupid little friends.

Jen initially seemed offended. Angry, even. Takato feared that he just started a fight. But Jen soon turned his angry frown into a sad one, his fists unclunching in defeat. Jen was also not doing well. Although it was hard to notice, he was probably the one who was suffering the most among them. He had his digimon longer than any other tamer. In a house so full of siblings, he always had a complicated relationship with loneliness. He was constantly surrounded by people that supposedly loved him, and that he supposedly loved back. But among all that noise, all those kids competing for attention, all those tangled lives, there was barely any space for real intimacy. For real, deep, comforting bonds. He also never was that good at making friends at school, maybe because he was a half-Chinese boy in a Japanese school, or maybe just because he lacked the right interpersonal skills, but he never understood the notion that school could be like a second home to some. He saw all those noisy and agitated groups of friends, bonding over the most trivial of things, and he didn’t get it.

And then he met Terriermon. Although for a long time they had their conflicts when it came to fighting and violence, Terriermon was his best and only real friend for years of his life, of his childhood. After he met Takato and Guilmon, and then everybody else, he learned to have different kinds of friendship, he came to understand those seemingly trivial bonds that became so important and strong to him. He even got to get closer to one of his siblings, Shiuchon, where he found the space for that familial intimacy he always missed. But, despite all of that, there was no one and nothing more important to him than Terriermon. Not his new friends, not his sister, not his father. Not even the world, that world that they managed to save at the cost of his best friend. Takato was right. The adults were to blame, and even though he pretended to have forgiven his dad in order to simulate the peace of mind he wanted to have, he too held a painful grudge on his chest for the people who took his precious friend away.

Jen tried to think what to say. Should he drop his precariously dangling mask and confess how much he was in pain, how much rage he felt? He couldn’t bring himself to speak ill of his father, but he couldn't defend him either. His eyes shone once again, this time not with excitement, but with tears. He turned his face away and remained silent, sulking.

— Thank you, Takato. — Ruki’s words cut through the heavy silence like knives. She looked him in the eyes. — You were going to go alone, wouldn’t you?

Takato was caught so off guard he lost his balance. He stumbled into his words, trying to deny the truth or to ask why she would think that, but nothing of meaning came through. Before Takato could articulate a real answer, Ruki interrupted his mumblings.

— My grandma told me you came to see me last night. — Ruki gave Takato a cold stare, making it clear that she was going to control what was and wasn’t going to be said about what happened yesterday. — I know you, Takato. You always call before coming to my house. You didn’t. — Takato blushed, nervous. — You were going to go to the DigiWorld alone. I know it. But you changed your mind. — She stared into the distance. — Thank you.

Not knowing what to say, Takato remained silent, still embarrassed.

— We may not tell the adults — Jen finally said, in a quiet voice. — But we have to tell the other Tamers. They may have had their digimon for less time than us, but they still miss them…

Jen thought about his sister, about how much she cried, missing not just her digimon, but also his. One night, she came to him saying how much she hoped that Lopmon and Terriermon were together in the digital world. He said they surely were, but he wasn’t so sure himself. It took a whole week before he could stop thinking about it constantly.

Ruki shifted her weight from one foot to another. She looked at Takato with discomfort, and then addressed Jen.

— Well, what about Juri? — Someone had to say it. — Should we tell her?

Takato tensed up. Suddenly, he just wanted to run away from that conversation. He felt the urge to go home, to close himself into his room and never get out again. He knew what they were thinking. Katou was his girlfriend, and he was going to leave her without any warning. But what was he supposed to do? Tell her that he had a chance to get his digimon back, while she didn’t? To ask her to choose between going with him to the place that she got severely traumatized or to maybe lose her boyfriend forever? Letting her in the dark wasn’t any better, it may even be worse, but Takato avoided thinking about it. And now he couldn’t avoid it anymore. He had to talk about it, he had to debate what was the best line of action to take.

— I don’t know — he mumbled in a whiny tone. — I really, really don’t know.

— I think she deserves to know, but you know her best, Takato. — Ruki said, uncomfortable. — Look, we have to think that, if we come up with a plan to go there and try to get our digimon back, she will eventually know, one way or another. So the question remains: will she feel worse knowing now, by us, or knowing later, finding out by herself, knowing we hid the truth from her?

— I don’t know… — Takato said again, so quiet they almost didn’t hear it.

Deep inside, he knew the answer, actually. She had the right to know, and that probably was also the better option. He just didn’t have the courage to tell her. His fists clenched, pressing against his hips while he started to tremble, closing his eyes and pressing his lips. He felt so hurt, so scared. He was being a coward, but he couldn’t bring himself to be better. Before the tears in his eyes started to fall down, he felt a hand in his shoulder. He opened his eyes, the tears rolling down his cheeks just then, and he saw Ruki, with a warm smile on her face and looking with compassionate eyes. She wasn’t judging him, she was there for him, and he understood that without her having to say it outloud. Still crying, he smiled a little.

— I know it’s hard, Takato. It hasn't been easy for any of us. I can talk to her, ok? You can be with us or not, but I can be the one to break the news, if it's easier for you. — Her smile grew while she squeezed Takato's shoulder a little harder, but tenderly.

— Thank you, Ruki… — he finally said it, after rubbing the tears off of his face with the back of his hand.

It was getting late, close to noon. Soon their parents would call them and ask them to go home, either each to their own or everyone to one of their homes, to have lunch together. Takato wasn’t feeling well enough to pay anyone a visit, and he didn’t think Ruki and Jen would want to come to his house either. So they went their separate ways and left that matter to be resolved later.

Chapter Text

Her memories were always foggy, and also rather unstable. She knew she had lost something very, very important, but most of the time she didn’t even know what it was. Although something inside her said that it wasn’t true, she felt like that rocky wilderness, with it’s lonely, lukewarm stream, was everything she’d ever known. There was only night there, always a full moon, bathing the blueish-gray rocks with it’s cool light. She drank from the stream, but never felt hunger. What was really odd was that she knew what hunger was, or that a constant night wasn’t the norm, or that the moon shouldn’t be always full. She knew all that wasn’t normal. What she didn’t knew was what “normal” looked like. She forgot.

Another odd memory that was always on her mind was the name “Renamon”. It felt like hers, but she wasn’t “Renamon” — she was Pokomon. What even was a “Renamon”? She wished to know, but there was no way of knowing. Other weird words sometimes popped amongst her thoughts. “Card”, “Tamer”, “Woman”, “Love”, “Friend”, “D-Reaper”. Some words evoked strong, diverse feelings, and some were just confusing. She also could remember a specific voice saying most of those words, although she could recall the words without the voice. That voice was precious to her, and she was terrified she would eventually forget it too.

The rocky cliff was serene, and it seemed peaceful, but it could be dangerous. Most of the time, Pokomon hid within the small gaps and rifts between the rocks, maze-like passages that only someone her size could go through and not get stuck. She almost remembered being way stronger, fearce, but now she was a weak little thing, too vulnerable to let herself be easily found. Way up the cliff, roamed bigger, dangerous digimons, their teeth as sharp and pointy as the peaks they lived on. A pack of Garurumons and Sangloupmons, with some lonely, blood-lusty Fangmons. Looking at them, Pokomon felt fear, but she also thought of another weird word. “Wolf”. For her, all those different digimons were “wolf” digimons. She also felt that she wasn’t very far from what a “wolf” should be, even though she didn’t know what being a wolf was, and also she was nothing like those “wolf” up there.

Thinking about her special voice, Pokomon slept once more under the moonlight.

Chapter Text

As soon as the trio finished lunch, they runed to their respective rooms, each to their computer, to talk about that morning’s subject. They had a group chat set up, with color-coded names and cool effects. Jenrya was the biggest responsible for the technical part, programming the chat room a couple of months prior, with just a little help from his father. He was getting better and better at that stuff. He even had some secret projects, like some games and softwares. Hid on a seemly unrelated folder, named “1998 Spring vacation photos”, there was something called “comunication.exe”. No one knew about it, but he spent most of his nights working on that. Currently, he had no success — although the Internet and the Digital World had a supposedly deep connection, he still couldn’t find a way to access the latter through the former. Now that project seemed stupid, with a direct portal to the DigiWorld being found.

The user Takato-pan_91 had sent a message earlier: “just finished lunch, are you guys there?”. Jen replied, with his user “MoJENtai~”: “got to my room now, is ❤Digimon_Queen❤ online?”. Because Jenrya managed to connect their group chat server to bigger chat rooms, they each had a username that they could use to log into accounts on those chat rooms. That was honestly the hardest part to program, but it was worth it — having centralized profiles across multiple forums and chat rooms was rather convenient.

Takato-pan_91 answered: “I saw her interacting at the Digimon Card Tournament 2003 forum, but I don’t know if she can answer here yet”. ❤Digimon_Queen❤ instantly sent a message “Of course I can. Why would I be online at one chat room, but not at another one? What a stupid question”. Takato-pan_91 just said “Sorry”.

They were a little hesitant to bring up the topic of the portal. Even Jen, who knew how well encrypted their chat log was, was afraid to put that level of secret on the internet. While they were just making small talk, circling around the topic, Jenrya heard a knock on his door. After he closed the chat, he let the person in. It was Shiuchon. She had grown so much in those couple of years, but when she looked at him with those sad, lost eyes, she seemed even younger than when she first met Antylamon. With her standing there, at his door, he could almost hear her beg to play with Terriermon, back when she didn’t even know he was alive. But that wasn’t what she said, obviously.

— I had another nightmare, Jen… — Well, that explained her mood at lunch. — What if they already forgot us?

Painful as always, she had a gift for verbalizing their worst fears. But, as the older brother, he had to console her. She ran towards him, hugging him while starting to cry again. He couldn’t bear it anymore! Seeing her like that broke his heart, and having to hide his pain from her was also a hard task. He tried to seek comfort in the warmth of her hug, while still being the one to comfort her.

He said something to convince her that her fear was foolish, that they’d never forget them. As usual, he didn’t believe his own words. She was growing smarter by the day, and soon she wouldn’t believe either. He sighed as she closed the door, feeling emotionally drained.

With a heavy heart, he came back to the chat room. Takato and Ruki were wondering why he stopped answering, and apparently already started talking about the portal, to his relief: now the burden was off his shoulder. He announced his return, and then cut to the chase.

MoJENtai~: “No matter what we end up deciding to do later, I have to tell her now.”

Takato-pan_91: “Shiuchon?”

MoJENtai~: “yes”

❤Digimon_Queen❤: “Are you sure, Jen? Wouldn’t she just tell your father?”

MoJENtai~: “Not if I tell her not to, especially if I explain the reason. She misses both Lopmon and Terriermon, and it’s painful seeing her like that.”

The chat went silent for a moment.

MoJENtai~: “I can’t bear it anymore”

❤Digimon_Queen❤: “I trust you, Jen. If you really trust her, I trust her too.”

Takato-pan_91: “I hope that she feels better after knowing…”

Jen stared at the screen, his eyes alternating between scanning Takato’s message, again and again, and looking at his own face, reflected in the glass monitor. He said goodbye to his friends, but remained quiet in his room for a while, reflecting.

Digimon, the card game, skyrocketed in popularity after the D-Reaper incident in Shinjuku, and the “characters” Terriermon and Lopmon had a big fanbase, prompting the creation of toy lines and other merch. One night, while Jen was awake working on the communication project, he heard his parents arguing in their room. His mom had sundly raised the tone of her voice, and he heard her talking about the new digimon plushies that were flying off the shelves. He stealthily approached the door of his parents’ room, eavesdropping. He was confused for a moment, but eventually he managed to piece out that his father was afraid to walk by toy stores and end up letting their youngest children see Terriermon or Lopmon plushies. He could still clearly remember his mother’s hurtful words “what if we buy them the damn toys? Maybe it will help them! Surely it will help more than just sulking like they do all day”. She had a hard time understanding their lost digimon as anything more than cutely-designed pets that run away.

Fortunately, his father was able to talk her out of that idea, but by the arguments Jenrya heard him using that night, it wasn’t like his father understood them much better than his mother. His other siblings also tried to be supportive, but that was it. The only person in the whole world who really understood his feelings was his little sister. And that made him the only person who understood what she was going through.

With a deep breath, he thought one last time of Takato’s message. Yes, the whole situation was complicated, they didn’t know what they were going to do or how much of a “golden opportunity” that really was. And, yes, maybe Shiuchon wasn’t going to be able to get the whole picture. But if knowing that a portal was found made him happy, it would make her happy too, he was sure of it.

Jenrya went to Shiuchon’s room and told her the news, being clear about the ambiguity of the situation. She was happy to know.

Chapter Text

It all happened so fast, and he was still bitter about it. He had just got everything he always wanted. And he worked hard to get there; he suffered, he got angry, he made terrible mistakes and he paid their price. He fought to redeem himself, and he managed to be forgiven. The future was bright, he found happiness. And then he lost everything.

Initially he waited for a rescue to come, for a way out to show up, for any solution. But days passed, and turned into weeks, and weeks passed and turned into months. Impmon was quite sure that more than a year had passed already, but he lost track of time long ago. How was he even supposed to keep track of the years while trying to survive in that jungle? He thought that living alone in the city was hard, but that place was on a whole nother level. As Yaamon, he was almost eaten on a daily basis. Those were the roughest days for sure. He had almost no memory of being a baby level digimon prior to that bizarre reverse evolution they suffered that day, so he wasn’t prepared to deal with having no limbs and relying on just a ink spit attack to defend himself. But he survived worse before, and for worse reasons, so he had the resilience to endure those days.

He was a better digimon than what he was during his worse days, so resorting to violence felt horrible, but he was weak and had no choice. After absorbing the data from the digimon that died trying to eat him, he managed to evolve on his own, going back to his most comfortable form: Impmon. Yet, Impmon wasn’t so strong. Though having fire-based abilities on a jungle, against mostly animal and plant digimon, was way more convenient than that weird ink-spit.

The Digital World had changed a lot after the whole D-Reaper ordeal. It expanded. He had no idea where that tropical jungle was supposed to be in relation to the places he knew from his prior time on the DigiWorld. He never saw a data stream while there, so sometimes he wondered if the place he ended up getting stuck was even in the Digital World. But that was the only explanation for a data-based ecosystem of digimon.

Sometimes he wished he was still as ruthless and self centered as he was before. It would be easier in a place like that if he didn’t feel guilty to hurt others for his own gain. If he at least could manage to stop protecting other weak digimon, maybe he wouldn’t be always hurt. He let a fait smile take over his face. No matter what happened, he knew being who he was now was way better. Six months ago he helped a group of Otamamon cross from one river stream to another, without getting eaten. Impmon almost got back to his baby level during the battles that ensued, but everyone survived. The Otamamon got to the river, and went far, far away, maybe they even got out of the jungle. But to Impmon, that jungle seemed to have no end, no matter how far he went.

Recently, he made friends with a little Tanemon. There were a bunch of plant digimon like them around there, but that one ended up getting close to Impmon after he saved them from a big Coredramon Green that was attacking the area. Tanemon was a good friend, insisting on following Impmon even after thanking him for the help. It was good having real company again. They would ask Impmon so many questions, it reminded him of his tamers and their wondrous childish curiosity. Impmon told them about the life he had in the human world, he told them about the friends he lost. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell the atrocities he had done. Tanemon was a smart digimon, though, so they had probably already noticed that Impmon was hiding parts of the story.

Sometimes, Impmon wished he had forgotten the monster he once was.

Chapter Text

Time passed fast as the now four friends tried to decide what to do, or who to tell. Shiuchon was a good addition to the group, having a burning motivation to solve any problems that came up. She convinced them to firstly tell Ai and Makoto, Impmon’s former tamers, for she had become close friends with them in the past two years. She trusted them, and argued that having them on their side could provide a justification for them to meet on a regular basis: just an older brother and his two friends taking his sister to see her friends, nothing suspicious there. Although they already had a lot of liberty to see each other, the three older friends agreed that being careful of their next moves was very important. Their parents had prior experience with they keeping secrets and hiding plans of a trip to the Digital World, so it wouldn’t be wise to underestimate the chance of being found out.

Meeting at a playground, the four of them waited for the siblings to arrive. Jenrya smiled, seeing how ecstatic his sister was since he told her. She was playing in the metal slide, giggling. After a while, Ai and Makoto arrived at the playground, accompanied by a man that must be their father. They were wearing Impmon merch, proving how different people had different ways to cope with grief. Ruki and Takato, who hadn’t seen the two kids since that day, were a little surprised to see how much they’ve grown in just two years, being both six years old now — Takato didn’t even know they were twins. From all the Tamers Takato and Ruki met during the time they had their digimon, Ai and Makoto were the ones they knew the least, and also by far the youngest, and suddenly, looking at those two small kids, it seemed so weird to tell them their big secret before telling closer friends, or even family. But Shiuchon had good points, and they were surprised by how much they came to trust Jen’s little sister.

Strategically, Jenrya approached their dad and started small talk, distracting him, while Takato and Ruki got closer to the kids under the pretense of watching them.

— Play hide and seek with us! — Shiuchon asked Takato, intentionally loud enough for Jen and the father to hear. — Start counting!

Takato obliged, counting loudly, while Shiuchon dragged the twins up the same dinosaur slider Takato used to play the digimon card game with his friends, where he randomly found himself with the powerful blue card that would be responsible for Guilmon’s creation. There, hidden from the others’ sight and not within earshot, Shiuchon changed her manners.

— I have to tell you something — she said, so seriously the twins almost got startled. — But it’s a secret, a big secret, and I need you to promise you won't tell anybody that isn’t a former Tamer.

Just by hearing that word, Ai and Makoto held their breath, their hearts racing. They exchanged a wary look, and Ai grabbed Makoto’s hand, seeking comfort. The older they got, the worse they felt about what they did to Impmon. While all the former Tamers had at least a full year alongside their digimon, Ai and Makoto got only a few distinct moments together with Impmon. The worst part was slowly learning what had happened to Impmon while he was away from them. They came to understand how much they hurt him, and were terrified to know how much that suffering made him hurt others. Yes, they were young, too young, and that’s what people said to them, but they couldn’t help but sometimes feel like it was all their fault. They looked at each other one last time, nodding before answering their friend:

— Yes, we promise — they said together, completing each other’s words, still holding hands.

Shiuchon smiled, but her eyes still gave a serious stare.

— My brother’s friend, Takato, found an active entrance into the digital world. — She waited a little, giving them time to process the information. — But we have to be careful! This is good news, but we don’t know how we’re going to rescue them.

— Ready or not, here I come! — Takato screamed, all the way across the playground.

He knew where the trio would be, so he started to “look for them” the farthest from the dinosaur slide he could go without seeming too stupid. Shiuchon gave a quick glare behind her before continuing to talk.

— Last time we went to the DigiWorld, the adults had to create a ship to bring us back — She made a small pause, feeling a little bad for what she was about to say. — But we don’t trust the adults anymore. They are the reason we lost our digimon.

A painful silence fell between them, while the three little kids thought about the friends they lost. Ai grasped for the D-ARK she still kept around her neck.

— We really miss Impmon — Saying that out loud was hard, and they both felt their eyes burn as tears runned down their cheeks.

— We want to help — Makoto said. — Tell us what we can do, and we will! — Ai noded, agreeing, while she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

— You can be sure we will tell you as soon as we know what to do! — Shiuchon said, pulling the twins into a well needed hug. — Thank you for agreeing to keep it a secret, we need as much help as we can get now!

They hugged her back, calming down. They slowly came to the realization that they had a chance to actually see Impmon again, they could be his tamers! For real, this time. Their hearts were full of hope.

— But if the grown ups can’t help us this time, how are we going to come back? — Ai asked, ending the hug as she realized that was biggest problem at hand. — Weren’t the adults the ones to really understand the Digital World last time? You told me your dad and his friends spent days working at the computer to get you back!

Makoto’s fists clenched.

— If only we could have gone with you, we would know what it’s like to be there… — His words were bitter with regret. — Maybe if we were there, Impmon wouldn’t do the things he did, and then the adults would never had to resort to that terrible solution to win against the D-Reaper, because it wouldn’t have captured Katou!

His sister hugged him. Of course they had discussed that over and over again, and she felt the same, but seeing him say that, blaming himself and suffering for it, made that idea sound more vile than ever before. It may have been the first time that she really saw how poisonous it was to interpret things like that.

— Found you! — Takato’s head popped into the dinosaur slide platform, startling the three little kids. — Have you guys finished yet? — he whispered, nervous.

They nodded, throwing themselves onto the slide, running away from Takato, screaming and laughing. Jen, somehow still being able to maintain the small talk, saw that at a distance. He exchanged a quick knowing glance at Shiuchon. He hoped she had enough time, because there were not many more opportunities after that.

Thankfully, save some tears, everything went well. Although, it was only after the meeting came to an end, while Shiuchon and the trio walked home, hearing her tell what they talked about, that Ai and Makoto’s contribution really came to light. Shiuchon was talking about how Ai said they wouldn't have the help of knowledgeable people, agreeing that was a good thing the adults provided last time, when Ruki stopped on her tracks.

— I know who we have to tell next — she declared, bitter. — Ryo spent almost a year in the Digital World, he lived there. If there’s anyone who can help us with knowledge, unfortunately it’s him.

Jenrya turned to Ruki with that frantic look he got on his face from time to time after all that portal stuff started. She was right, he thought, filled with joy, but also feeling dumb for not thinking that before. Why didn’t he, after all? It was probably because of just how disconnected Ryo was to everything. Even back then, he was a really random addition to the team of tamers, popping into existence for them on the most unexpected place to meet a human. Jen also hadn’t spoken to Ryo, or even seen him, since the day they all lost their digimon, and he didn’t think any other tamer had kept contact with him. Ruki hated him, and Takato was never really fond of him either. The only people Jenrya could see still talking to Ryo were Hirokazu and Kenta, who were his fans, but in turn Jen also had little to no contact with those two, only remembering them more than Ryo because the two boys studied at the same school as Jen. Ryo was just really disconnected from their reality.

One thing was right, though: if anyone had crucial information otherwise inaccessible to them, that person was Ryo, the former Digimon card game champion, veteran of the Digital World, and Ruki’s least favorite person.

— We have to speak to him! — Jen almost shouted. — How dumb I was for not thinking of him before!

They had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, Takato and Shiuchon tensely looking at the other two. Everybody knew how much Ruki didn’t like Ryo, so for her to have even shared that idea with them was no small thing. But they also knew how Jen was frequently having basically manic episodes in the last few days, unable to control his excitement at the face of the opportunity to see Terriermon again. If anyone ever had any doubt Jenrya missed his digimon, the way he was getting so easily agitated over the topic of rescuing them was proof enough. Maybe it was because he had to be so controlled and strategic about his mood and reactions around his parents, not to arouse any suspicion, building up all that adrenaline he could only let loose around his friends. The bad news was that he was not the emotionally brightest at those moments, and that was a sensitive topic for Ruki.

— Does anyone know where he lives? — Jen asked his friends, almost hyperventilating. — We are still under the alibi of taking Shiuchon to meet her little friends, so that’s the perfect opportunity for a quick detour.

Takato and Shiuchon shrugged, for they didn’t know. Ruki started showing even more signs of discomfort, signs that Jen kept failing to pick up.

— Do you know it, Ruki? I know you don’t like him, but you were the closest to him, you know?

— Closest? You mean he chose me as his biggest target to bother, right? — she spit her words rispitly.

— Oh, well, if you want to put it like that, so be it. But you are the one with the most chances of knowing his address, one way or another. — Jen waited for an answer that didn’t come. — Like, I don’t know… Maybe he tried to invite you for a date at his house or something? He did have an obvious crush on you, anyway.

— Okay, that’s it! — Ruki snapped. — I hope I helped enough today, I’m going home.

She turned, livid, and started stomping away.

— Ruki! Why are you… — Jen started calling her, but Shiuchon holding his hand made him stop.

His little sister gave him a repreensive look, so mature and serious it didn’t fit her cute childish face. Jen sighed, coming to his senses, finally realizing how insensitive he was. He felt regret running through his veins, feeling like such a bad friend. He had to fix that. He sprinted towards Ruki, now almost a block away, only quickly asking Takato to take care of Shiuchon before going.

— Ruki, I’m sorry — he said, once he was within earshot of her. — I was really rude and didn’t even notice.

— That's okay. Goodbye. — Ruki said, coldly, waking faster.

— Wait, please! — he pleaded. — I should have been more aware of my words, but your idea of contacting Ryo is still our best bet to get them back. If not for me, can you do it at least for Renamon?

Ruki finally stopped walking away. Her fists trembled, her heart racing. What Jenrya said before might have been “insensitive”, like he said, but now that was just plain dirty. Whether intentionally or not, he was guilt tripping her into helping. She felt angry and betrayed, but it worked. He convinced her. His words filled her with the willpower to move mountains. Her distaste for Ryo instantly looked foolish, childish. So small and dumb. It was a cheap price to pay, if it could grant her and Renamon’s reunion. Nothing was too high of a price when it came to that.

She turned to stare at Jen with a vacant look.

— I’ll take you there if you promise to control your stupid tongue and keep away from what’s not of your damn business — she declared.

Jen agreed, unable to hide his happiness.

The four of them, with Ruki leading the group, went to where Ryo supposedly lived. It wasn’t very far, but they were getting anxious over the time passing, slowly getting late. They made one last turn and Ruki pointed to a small beige building, only five stories tall.

— It’s apartament 06 — Ruki told them, sharply.

Takato gulped as Jen diled 0 then 6 on the small buzzer by the door. After a couple of tense seconds of silence, a male adult voice picked up.

— Akiyama residence, how can I help you?

— Is this Mr. Akiyama? We are… friends of your son. Can we see him?

An awkward silence fell while indistinguishable chatter was heard from the device.

— Wait a minute — the voice asked before hanging up.

The four kids waited, tensing up at each passing moment. Then, finally, the door opened ajar to reveal Mr. Akiyama. The man looked at the children as if to judge them, possibly trying to recognize them after so long.

— Ryo can’t see you right now — he finally said.

Ruki let out a frustrated sigh. She was a little distant from the others, only close enough to listen to the conversation, but far enough not to seem involved.

— So he’s at home?! — Jen asked, letting his relief show in his voice. — Please, sir, can you say to him it’s very important?

The man tensed up, getting visibly nervous.

— Well, he really won’t see you right now, kids. I’m sorry, have a nice day.

The man started to shut the door, but Jen stopped him. He looked at the man with a very desperate look.

— Please, sir, please! We will not bother him, we just want to talk about something very important and of his interest! — he pleaded.

The man didn’t even answer, pulling the door again. While all of that happened, Ruki looked away as if to be a little less frustrated. It was then and there that a little movement on a window on the second floor caught her eyes. It was him, that little bastard, looking down on them. He had a very nervous look, and got startled as his eyes crossed with Ruki’s. He quickly closed the curtains, and Ruki felt again that same drive to move mountains. As Jen and Ryo’s father almost wrestled for the door, Ruki pushed them away, entering the building and running up the stairs, too fast to be stopped. The man stumbled back, getting really desperate.

— Wait, no! — he shouted as she already reached the first floor, halfway through reaching the man's front door.

He got up to his feet, completely ignoring the other three dumbfounded kids and sprinting after her.

To the Akiyamas' despair, their front door was opened, and Ruki stormed through their house. If she wasn’t so blind with rage, she could have noticed any of the condemning evidence spread all over the apartment, but she just went straight to Ryo’s room. The door was locked, and she slammed her fists on it.

— Open that damn door, you coward! — she shouted. — I see you have already come back from the last minute vacation you took last year, huh?! “Legendary Tamer” my ass, you’re a fucking coward, that’s what you are!

She pounded her fists against the door, again and again, not even feeling the pain. The humiliation from last year’s tournament filled her with enough rage to hate him forever, but knowing he was refusing to see them made her want to punch him into unconsciousness. He was lucky to have a lock on his door. Ruki won the 2002’s tournament, but her victory meant nothing if the “Legendary Tamer” didn’t show up. Because he was the only one to defeat her, back in the 2000’s tournament, he would forever be considered better, she would never be the true best, just a winner by default. And she wasn’t that concerned about a “true victory”, but he ditched the tournament just a couple of months after she rejected him. She was sure it was an intentional revenge, a way of humiliating her in front of all of the competitive Digimon Card community. They still called her the “Regent Queen of Digimon” behind her back, implying Ryo was the “true king”, and she was just an usurper. She never cared much about the “queen” title, but that hurt. Her eyes stung as the tears came.

— You’re the worst person I’ve ever met! — her voice started to tremble and she felt so weak and pathetic.

She stopped hitting the door. What was she doing? That was not the moment or place to wash her dirty laundry. If he was a sore loser and a vengeful suitor, so be it, it was not her problem anymore. What she really cared about was Renamon, it was because of her Ruki rejected him in the first place. But now she needed his help, and she had to control her pride.

— Takato found an entrance, Ryo. They need your help. I need your help. Hate me all you want, but that’s the chance we have to get our digimon back! — She had to control her feelings and conceive a little, or else she would never see Renamon again.

Firstly she thought she heard a weird growl behind the door, but then she just heard his voice for the first time in almost a year:

— Go away, Ruki. Tell them I cheated on the 2000’s tournament if that helps, whatever. Just… leave me alone.

She couldn’t believe he was doing that.

— You bastard! Don’t you miss CyberDramon?! Well, I miss Renamon more than anything in this world! — Her knees felt weak, so she slid down to the ground. — Please, Ryo! I need her back! I need your help, please!

She kept pleading, crying her eyes out, but he didn’t say anything else. With his face as red as a ripe tomato and completely out of breath, Ryo’s father finally burst into the corridor.

— Get out of my house, now — he ordered.

Ruki ignored him and started punching Ryo’s door again, desperate.

— Ryo! Ryo, please! I know you know things about the Digital World we don’t! We need to know everything we can! — Her throat was already sore. — Please, please!

His father had to drag her away. When she finally got out of the building, her face had deep red marks left from her tears. She said nothing to the very concerned friends that waited for her, not even looking them in the eyes before just racing home.

Numb from the shock of such an unexpected and intense situation, Jen, Shiuchon and Takato just walked home in complete silence. Takato walked with the two siblings until they reached their apartment, and then went home, where he remained awfully quiet.

At the Akiyama's residence, however, things were quite loud. His “father” had enough this time, and shouted at Ryo about how he would never do anything for him again. It was about time, anyway. That man knew all his secrets, and was getting really tired of helping him keep them. Ryo couldn’t blame him, he was not even his real father, and was thrusted into an existential nightmare because of him. He couldn’t just ask the man to drag a little crying girl down a flight of stairs and be fine afterwards. Ryo was sixteen already, old enough to let that old man who helped him so much finally rest. He let the man shout at him, what happened that evening must have been too much for him to bear, and Ryo agreed that he did deserve a little retribution for all the bad things he caused.

Of course he felt guilty, especially for Ruki, who would never know his disappearance last year had nothing to do with her or the tournament, and would resent him forever for refusing to help her now. But he just couldn’t risk having any of his secrets exposed. Some put his life and maybe even his existence at risk, but the ones he most feared being uncovered were the ones that could put his best friend at risk. He had his priorities, and nothing could make him change that.

He agreed to move away by the end of the week, taking all his stuff and his partner with him, promising to never bother that man again. Ryou didn’t ask for any of what happened to him, and the majority weren’t his fault. Life was the most unfair to him. But he did what he had to do, and he knew that now he was better off than any of the human partners of that world. He really needed to embrace the happy ending he conquered for himself and vanish from everybody's lives before he ended up hurting anyone else.

Chapter Text

The tremors were worrying him. After almost two years of a pacific ruling over that lovely underwater settlement, MarinAngemon was facing his first tough challenge as a protector of weaker digimon. Suddenly, everything would tremble for a while, and then stop. Initially, the tremors were so small they could be easily mistaken for a sudden change in the water currents, or the passing of a big enough school of Whamon. But as time passed, they became stronger, lasting longer. The danger kept increasing, and MarinAngemon felt ashamed for failing to avoid any casualties. They already lost sixteen good digimon to tremor-related accidents. Most of them were hit by debris, rocks falling from the walls that made passages, and oceanic ridges and caves. A few were also thrown against the hard walls, dying from the impact or even being crushed by the water pressure. MarinAngemon had great healing powers, so if the digimon managed to survive the first damage, he could save it, but the ones who perished instantly were beyond the reach of his help.

The stronger the tremors got, the clearer was its source: the northmost wall, that endless barrier that ended that area of the sea. The wall was so large, so massively encompassing, that its seismic activities affected the entirety of that oceanic habitat. MarinAngemon wished he could have his tamer with him. They defeated the D-reaper together, what was a shaky wall compared to that? But he would never see Kenta again. He was stuck there, undersea. There was no end to the water parts, and no way to go around the rocky barriers. In the first months, MarinAngemon even explored the complex system of underwater caves. He did manage to find small chambers with pockets of air, but nothing that could take him anywhere that wasn’t already part of that place. The best thing he could do was helping all those water digimon survive. He was treated as a king, and he knew Kenda would like to know that. He would call it “cool”, his eyes shining like stars.

It was Kenta who really taught him to help others. He wasn't any violent maniac before that, but he didn’t get out of his way to protect digimon who were worse off than him. That lesson of kindness, of caring, he would take for life. Despite his cute looks and small size, he was a massively powerful digimon, after all. Using that power for good, using it for love — that was the best way to live. He made shelters for small Swimmon and Shakomon, he established peace between groups of Rukamon and Gesomon; he even convinced a trio of very aggressive Coelamon to stop attacking weaker digimon. All through the power of love he was so lucky to have plenty.

Maybe when he would finally find his demise, his undying soul would reincarnate within an egg outside that endless ocean floor. Then, and only then, he could have another chance of meeting Kenta. He wouldn’t remember his tamer, and Kenta would never be sure it was really the same MarinAngemon he once met, but they would still be able to have the friendship they once lost.