Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shang Qinghua had no clue what he was doing. It was a spur of the moment decision to go to a village called LengDan Village. It’s name really hit its cold, gray, despondent vibe. It was the village in which his protagonist would be raised by the washerwoman. He simply wanted a little peek of the baby Luo Binghe. He didn’t want to be standing in the river, drenched up to his knees in icy water, holding the wailing future emperor of the three realms. 

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.” He muttered as he trudged to the bank and looked around. He could drop him off somewhere and no one would know. His system was blinking something at him but he was not inclined to care. He made the mistake of looking down at the cold baby. His heart cracked a little bit. 

“I’m really gonna do this huh?” He whimpered and buried his nose in the baby's cloth wrapping. Baby Binghe responded by bonking his head. Practice for when he became emperor probably. He straightened his back, took a deep breath, and hopped on his sword. 

Shang Qinghua spent the entire ride back trying to focus on the wailing and instead focus on what the hell he was going to tell his Shifu. The Peak Lords of the Ming generation hadn’t ascended yet and the big battle/sealing of Tianlang-jun wasn’t even a week ago. He could lie and say that Binghe was his, but the kid is too cute to be his. Maybe he could pull a ‘my younger sister had a kid out of wedlock and contacted me to raise since she would be ruined otherwise’ card. It might work. But Shen Qingqiu knew he wasn’t in contact with any of his siblings. It didn’t matter in the end since Cang Qiong suddenly popped up in his viewpoint. 

He flew past An Ding and landed in Mu Qingfang courtyard in Qian Cao. Mu Qingfang had been sitting outside drinking tea and relaxing after spending the week before hand dealing with injuries from the assault on the demon lord. His peaceful time was ruined by Shang Qinghua landing in front of him, shaking like a leaf holding a small screaming bundle. 

“Shang-Shixiong! What’s going on? IS THAT A BABY?!” Mu Qingfang felt a bit of his soul leave his body as the wriggling bundle was shoved towards him. 

“I saw him in the basket in the river and he was alone and cold and hungry and I didn’t know what to do and I’m worried he’s not going to be fine please help him!” Shang Qinghua spouted all that in under ten seconds and proceeded to hyperventilate afterwards. Mu Qingfang reigned in his surprises and took the baby into his office. 

He unwrapped the child and began a small checkup. The child couldn’t be older than a few days and was indeed quite pink and cold. He sent a small string of Qi to offer some sort of strength for the small body. The child quieted down a little and opened up his large eyes sniffling. Large, black, puppy-like eyes gazed at the healer as they welled with more tears. Mu Qingfang quickly understood why his Shixiong couldn’t leave the child. 

“Shang-Shixiong please hold him for a second while I collect something to feed him. Give him a small amount of Qi in the meantime to help get his body temperature up.” Shang Qinghua nodded at his request and cuddled the babe while holding his tiny hand. The child just kept staring up at his face, making little whimpers. 

Shang Qinghua felt something stir in his heart. This was his protagonist. This was basically his son. Tears filled his eyes. He could protect his protagonist son and give him a happy and safe childhood. 

[ congratulations congratulations congratulations! Good things must be said three times! User has unlocked a secret route - raising the future demon emperor - would the user like to accept the route and accompanying missions? Yes. YES! ] 

The system lauding hovered and beeped for attention. Shang Qinghua paused for a second before selecting YES! Maybe the extra enthusiasm would get him more points. Suddenly a large list of quests popped up. 

[ Due to how special the route is, user will have a list of quests to complete for points. Some quests are optional and some can’t happen at the same time so no point reduction will be available. However failing to be a good daddy to the protagonist will result in -care points. Please do your best to survive! :D ] 

Luo Binghe wiggled and whimpered, smacking his mouth a bit. He didn’t seem to particularly enjoy the meal of just Qi. As if sensing the hungry baby, Mu Qingfang came back in with a small basket and with two other people. The Qian Cao peak lord, Shu Mingcao, and the An Ding peak lord, Gao Mingxing. The two of them looked at the still shaking mess that was holding an also shivering baby, and gave each other a look. 

“Forgive this Shidi for taking a little bit longer. I thought it would be smart to collect some options and get Shifu and Shibo.” Mu Qingfang set down his basket and set some things up. One was a strange slightly glowing power in a tin and the other was a jar of something. 

“Qinghua, why is it you seem to want to make my life harder than needed?” Gao Mingxing sighed and rubbed his forehead. Shang Qinghua looked down at his feet and sniffled. 

“I’m sorry Shifu, but he was alone and so cold. I couldn’t leave him there.” As he spoke Shu Mingcao took Binghe from him and began some sort of examination. 

“And what do you plan to do with a baby? You are my successor and soon you will be a peak lord. Do you plan to raise some child you found and add on more stress to your already busy life?” His Shifu touched his shoulder and looked at him with something that was a mix of pity and sadness. 

[ User has already accepted route and if user does not raise protagonist user will be punished ]

“But I can take care of him!” Shang Qinghua clenched his fists and watched Binghe kick his feet at the peak lord checking his mobility. “I-I’ll work harder and do extra paperwork! Please Shifu, don’t take Binghe from me!” 

His Shifu sighed deeply and rested his head on the Qian Cao peak lord's back, as if trying to leach strength from her. “Of course you named him as well. Where exactly did you find him, Qinghua?” 

Shang Qinghua quickly gave his small tale of finding the baby in a basket and that he had named the child Luo Binghe. Mu Qingfang coughed lightly at the name. Don’t make fun of my name giving Mu-Shidi! He’s the protagonist so of course he has to have the protagonists name! 

“Well Xiao-Binghe is a healthy little boy. Other than being slightly malnourished and cold. I would recommend we get him some milk instead of just qi.” Shu Mingcao smiled at her Shizhi and began dressing the baby in robes she got from who knows where. 

Mu Qingfang immediately sprang forward to display his options. “We have many options for feeding Shixiong’s child,” ugh that made him sound old “ I think a hand mixed concoction of Fly Flower Root and Druid’s Foot Flower would work but of course there is the problem of having to heat water and hand mix it. If mixed beforehand the two will simply make white water.” 

“What about the Midwife's Pill? It is after all the most common way to feed baby’s who are in a home without anyone lactating.” Shu Mingcao grabbed the mysterious jar and shook it. It sounded like pills. Shang Qinghua looked over at Mu Qingfang, who was turning bright red, wondering why he didn’t bring it up first. 

“Ah yes it would work, but Shifu those pills are for women to start lactating. Shang-Shixiong isn’t a woman.” He stammered and glanced at Shang Qinghua embarrassed. He also felt his own face heat up. 

Shu Mingcao shrugged “ It is also used by widowed fathers to feed babies as well. It would be fine if Shang-Shizhi took them.” 

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! When did I add that to the book! Shang Qinghua looked at his Shifu for help but the man was busy playing peekaboo with Binghe. (He had indeed written in the Midwife's Pill to help the love interest of the week feed her orphaned niece but this eventually led to sexy lactation kink papapa with Binghe.) 

“Are those the only two options?” He squeezed out. His eyes wide and scared looking. Shu Mingcao laughed at him. Very rude. 

“You wanted to adopt a baby Shizhi, might as well go all out. But if you really are opposed to the pill, the mixture should work but I worry about you needing to prepare it in the middle of the night half asleep.” 

[ System would like to show that in the quests the points for choosing the mixture is +50 while the pill is +100 ]

Thanks system for nothing. Shang Qinghua sighed and shook his head. “I’ll take the p-pill since it’s easier. It won’t have any… lasting effects, right?” 

Mu Qingfang, still bright as a tomato, finally gained the ability to speak again. “Ah no, it wears off after about a week so you will need to take it every six days just to be safe.” He held out the jar and Shang Qinghua, against his better judgement and motivated by points, took it. He then opened it up and popped one of the small black pills in his mouth and swallowed. 

“So how long does it take to set in?” He nervously played with his fingers regretting his life choices. 

“About thirty minutes.” 

“Okay.” Shang Qinghua looked over at his Shifu and Binghe. Despite a few minutes ago questioning if he should keep the child, he seemed quite happy to play with him. 

“Shixiong would you be so kind as to give Shang-Shizhi his new baby please.” His Shizun jumped a little and smiled bashfully before carefully handing over the child. 

“I will go back to An Ding and help with setting your house up for him.” He smiled and bopped the baby’s nose. Binghe scrunched it up and started fussing. Gao Mingxing then scurried out of the room and the three adults and the baby sat in silence for a bit. 

“I should go inform Zhangmen Shixiong about this development. With everything else happening a child among the future peak lords will be a much needed mood boost. Qingfang please keep an eye on them and make sure that Shang-Shizhi starts producing correctly.” Mu Qingfang gained more blush but nodded. Shu Mingcao have a small bow and smile to Binghe before leaving. 

“Will we be having a 100 days celebration?” Mu Qingfang carefully asked. Shang Qinghua snapped out of his brain spiral due to having to breastfeed the protagonist and blinked rapidly. 

“I haven’t thought that far yet but I assume we will.” Shang Qinghua felt a strange faintness on his chest and he shifted a bit. Binghe made a weird grunting noise and started whimpering. “Oh fuck please don’t cry.” He rocked the baby but he was set on starting a tantrum. 

“Shixiong he might be hungry. Maybe try…” Mu Qingfang trailed off looking at a particularly interesting wall. Shang Qinghua cursed every god he could think off as he clumsily opened his robes. Not easy to do while holding a hungry and fussy half heavenly demon. He somehow managed it and stared at his exposed chest. It didn’t look that different. Made a little bigger and his nipple looked very pink, but otherwise the chest of a man. (If he had suddenly grown a pair of boobs Shang Qinghua would crawl over to the beast Peak and feed himself to something there.) 

Shang Qinghua brought Binghe up near it and wondered if he had to do something to get him to start…feeding. Binghe, the stallion protagonist that he was, knew what to do with a pair of tits (even if they were small and a man’s), latched on and started sucking. 

“AAAAH OH GOD HE’S SUCKING!” Shang Qinghua screamed in alarm at the feeling. It fucking hurt. The little protagonist was attacking him. It felt weird and wrong and not as sexy as those videos from his original world made him think. Mu Qingfang looked over to see what was wrong but was met with his Shixiong shirtless and panicking. Luckily doctormode kicked in. 

“Does it feel like something is coming out?” He asked, coming a little closer. 

“Uuuh maybe?” He tried to push the baby back to see what was happening but Binghe whimpered and latched harder. Shang Qinghua continued cursing inwardly. “I’ll just uhm check the other side.” He then very awkwardly pinched his other nipple. It just felt sore. He rubbed and pinched a little harder and something white came out. Shang Qinghua felt himself grow feint. 

“Ah hahaha yeah it’s working that's….weird.” Shang Qinghua looked up at Mu Qingfang who was now looking at the floor. 

“Oh that’s normal and good. Once you are finished…feeding you can go back to your peak. Come back in a week or if something happens. I’ll leave you to it.” Mu Qingfang gave a quick bow and vacated. 

“But isn’t this your study?” Shang Qinghua muttered under his breath. Binghe had similar thoughts as he detached and gurgled. His little curly fuzz looked so soft and cuddly, he couldn’t resist petting it. Baby Binghe looked him dead in the eyes with some sort of deep emotion. He then promptly threw up on himself. 

“Haha, that's disgusting. Oh god, I'm going to have to change your diapers.” 

Chapter Text

Shang Qinghua did his best to clean up the throw up mess on Luo Binghe but sadly he only had Binghe’s old blanket. He quickly fixed his own robes ignoring the slight ache from his left nipple. Binghe gave him a sleepy yawn before cuddling into his chest and closing his eyes. 

“Omg that was so fucking adorable.” Shang Qinghua whispered to no one. If only he had his phone to take a picture of this sweet sweet sight. 

[ +100 points for completing quest ‘Mama Qinghua’, +10 points for completing quest ‘Mu-Shidi’s fear’, +15 points for completing quest ‘paternal love at first sight’! Please continue to complete quests and earn points! This System is rooting for you <uwu> ] 

MU-SHIDI’S FEAR, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! 

[ {^-^} ] 

Shang Qinghua spent a few seconds questioning everything he knew of the world before realizing how dark it was getting. He left Mu-Shidi’s study and hopped onto his sword. He had used a lot of his spiritual energy rushing back to the sect after finding Binghe but he didn’t want to risk being seen and questioned by others. 

Binghe remained asleep during the whole ride. His sweet little face lightly scrunched up from a dream. He was surprisingly not looking as sickly and had a nice dusting of pink on his face. Truly the cutest little baby. 

An Ding came into view and soon Shang Qinghua’s leisure house. As a succeeding disciple, he had a sitting room, kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom that doubled as an office. Quite luxurious when compared to the outer disciple quarters. The most you got was a bed, desk, and screen. 

His Shifu stood in front of his house with a pleasant smile. His eyes immediately targeted the small sleeping child. If his Shifu wasn’t going to ascend in a few years he had no doubt the man would have snatched Binghe up for himself to raise. 

Shang Qinghua landed and gave a strange bow, not wanting to disturb Binghe. “Shifu, I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.” Gao Mingxing gave a hmm and patted Qinghua’s shoulder. 

“It is no matter Qinghua. I’m glad that both you and the child were cleared to return today. We have added a few necessities and if there is anything you need please let me know.” Binghe at this moment made a sound and wiggled a bit. Gao Mingxing felt an urge to squeal like a teenage girl looking at a small animal. But he was a peak lord and thus had some restraint. 

“Thank you for everything Shifu, I will not fall behind on my duties and will continue to work diligently to make you proud.” 

“You have already made me proud, A-Lei.” His Shifu patted his head in a fatherly manner. Shang Qinghua felt himself tear up. His Shifu never called him by anything other than his courtesy name once he got it. To top it all off the old man said he was proud of him. Even his own parents from both his lives had never told him such a thing. 

“Th-thanking Shifu.” He sniffled a little. His Shifu smiled and patted his shoulder before releasing a deep sigh. 

“Don’t worry about your work too much. I’ll divide your work among the rest of the inner disciples for the week. To give you some time to get a routine going before you dive back into working too hard.” Gao Mingxing patted his head once more before petting Luo Binghe’s soft stallion protagonist locks. “Now go to sleep. I’m sure by tomorrow you will be hounded and tracked down.” He laughed to himself before nodding and leaving without another word. 

Shang Qinghua watched him as he disappeared, trying to keep from balling. He had been through a lot today, okay. He deserved to have a small breakdown. He realized he was still outside and if he had a breakdown here people would see, so he slipped into his house. 

When his Shizun said a ‘few necessities’ he really meant the entire baby aisle of a small supermarket! In his sitting room sat a crib low to the floor near his table, baby toys in several overflowing baskets, and clothes. So many baby clothes. He tried to keep from panicking at the flippant use of wealth and the paperwork behind it to escape to his room. 

It wasn’t any better. 

Another crib sat near his bed carved with tiny beautiful details! WHO THE HELL MADE THIS AND HOW DID HIS SHIFU PROCURE IT IN A FEW HOURS! There was also more baby clothes because of course there was. Luckily baby care items could be seen near the door to his bathroom. Among them was a tiny tub. Sure to come in handy with cleaning the future demon emperor. 

Shang Qinghua took a deep breath and sat on his bed (which now had a considerable amount of new blankets and pillows on it courtesy of Gao Mingxing knowing what his precious son likes).  He looked down at his protagonist and gave him a sad smile. He had written him such a sad childhood but now he could fix that. He could fix some of that aching guilt towards making these troubled characters. If he raised Luo Binghe right, maybe the child could avoid becoming a demon lord and remain ignorant to his powers forever. 

Unlikely but he liked to dream. 

Shang Qinghua grabbed a small sleeping outfit for Binghe that was made using the colors of An Ding, soft yellow and orange. He moved the child over to the bathroom and began to change him. He instantly became grateful for cleaning talismans. Despite this he still put the used diaper in the laundry basket and wrapped a new one on him. He was suddenly grateful for being made to help his mom, in this world, with his younger siblings. 

All wrapped up and changed Shang Qinghua laid him down in his new fancy crib and then proceeded to stretch. He sighed and leaned over brushing some of his hair. 

“Don’t worry Binghe, I’ll make sure you never have to suffer and have a happy childhood.” 

“Who are you talking to?” 

“AAAAAH!” Shang Qinghua jumped up shrieking, covering his head on instinct. His screaming fit woke up Luo Binghe who started screaming his own head off. Shang Qinghua grabbed him and started bouncing him. He calmed down enough for Qinghua to glare at the intruder. Or try to. 

Mobei-Jun stared at his future Junshang with an unreadable expression. “What is that?” 

“Well my king, this is a child. I found him in the Luo river and it was icy so I named him Luo Binghe. I have adopted him.” He glanced back at Binghe who had a fist in his mouth and was still hiccuping. “I will not falter in my duties as your spy, my king. And Binghe won’t get in the way of anything, he can’t speak.” As if agreeing, Binghe gurgles into his fist, spit bubbles popping around it. 

Mobei-Jun just stared at him before coming closer. Shang Qinghua pressed Binghe into him further. Mobei-Jun noticed this and stopped coming forward. “The thing you are holding is a half demon.” He flatly announced, eyebrows scrunching. 

Shang Qinghua blinked a few times, genuinely surprised he could tell. He thought the seal made that near impossible. “What.” Ah yes eloquent. 

“His seal hasn’t solidified yet so it’s more obvious. He appears to be from a stronger demon.” He kept a neutral face as if he was simply saying it was cold outside. 

“Oh okay. Well I’m already spying for demons so what’s- what’s raising one, right?” He laughed awkwardly rocking back and forth. More for himself than for Binghe. Mobei-Jun said nothing, opting to stare at Shang Qinghua this time. “Hmph.” 

“I-is there anything I can help you with, my king?” 

“…how are you taking care of it?” 

“Well uhm by myself probably and he is not an it, he is a living being and deserves some basic respect, my king. But my sect or at least my peak will probably help me so I don’t have to worry too much.” 

Mobei-Jun nodded once and grunted. Please use your words my king! I don’t have a clue what that means! Mobei looked at him weirdly once more before leaving. Not even giving him the customary smack to the back of his head like usual. 

Shang Qinghua stood still for a second making sure he didn’t come back before collapsing on his bed still holding Binghe. “It’s okay Bingbing, that was just Mobei-Jun. He’s my boss and he's scary looking but he’s secretly a big softy so he won’t do anything to you.” Most likely. He never really thought of how Mobei-Jun would treat children, but he didn’t seem the type to hurt babies for no reason. Luckily. 

Luo Binghe sensing the danger had passed, nuzzled into Shang Qinghua’s chest demanding to be fed. Shang Qinghua groaned but complied. Still weird. But it kept the kid from screaming his head off so it was fine. 

After he ate and was burped, he calmed down and began nomming on his hand again. What was with babies and hands? Shang Qinghua tried to put him in his crib but he immediately began fussing. 

“Oh come on, I want to go to sleep, Bingbing. Baba has had a trying day okay. You also need to sleep.” He bopped his nose to make a point. Binghe wrinkled it and sneezed. So cute! He kissed his head and smiled at him. The protagonist really does steal hearts. He was finally able to set him in the crib and go to bed. He waited a few seconds to make sure no one else magically popped up. But no one did so he slipped into a soundless sleep. 

~~~~~

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Shang Qinghua jumped up screaming and tumbled out of his bed onto the floor. Binghe had also woken up and promptly began whimpering. He grabbed the kid, not wanting to accidentally get some sort of neglecting parent points from the system, and trudged over to his door and flung it open. 

Shang Qinghua blinked sleepily at the tall elegant man who was hiding his face behind a fan. He stepped aside to let him in. He swept past him and sat at his table casting looks at the extra things in the room. 

“So Shang-Shidi really did pick up a little beast.” He flicked the fan closed and narrowed his eyes and Binghe, who was squirming around probably looking for food. 

“Ah haha Shen-Shixiong, I did pick him up but you shouldn’t call him names. It can lead to him developing an inferiority complex.” He sat down next to Shen Qingqiu and tried to get Binghe to calm down but the baby was not happy being woken up. 

“Well it’s not my fault-“ he sniffed. “-all I heard was that you fished a baby from a river and immediately took it in.” 

“Oh yeah, his name is Luo Binghe, cause I found him in the Luo river.” 

“How creative.” He rolled his eyes. Shen Qingqiu gracefully stood up and headed into the kitchen, most likely to get tea. He knew where it was since Shang Qinghua took it apon himself to befriend Shen Qingqiu (to make up for some of the guilt he had for making his charcters so tortured) and they had tea together regularly. They would talk about literature and rant about how stuck up the rest of the head disciples were. He was probably Shang Qinghua’s closest friend from both lives. A little sad but hey, at least he has one. 

“I’ll be right back, I've got to clean him up!” Shang Qinghua raised his voice a bit and got a grunt in response. He scurried over to his bathroom and quickly changed the squirming baby. “Please behave Binghe. Don’t embarrass yourself in front of your Shibo.” 

Binghe stopped squirming for a second before making grabby hands and smacking his lips. He had woken Shang Qinghua up several times last night to complain about a dirty diaper, or a want for food. His poor chest wanted to fall off. 

Shang Qinghua came back to the sitting room with a blanket and sat down in front of Shen Qingqiu. He had a pot of tea set up and a cup poured for him. “I gotta feed him so…blanket!” He laughed awkwardly before draping it over himself and getting Binghe set up. Greedily little bastard.

Shen Qingqiu ignored him in favor of the tea. “You really did fling yourself head first into it didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, but he was alone and then he looked at me and I just couldn’t leave him.” He grimaced as Binghe decided to then make his presence known. 

“And how is that going for you?” 

“Well despite being woken up every two hours, I got more sleep than normally. I also get the week off to adjust! I’ll take what I can get.” He took a swing of the perfectly brewed jasmine tea. Shen Qingqiu drummed his fingers on the table. 

“May I see him? Once he’s finished stealing your life force of course.” He smirked and leaned back. Shang Qinghua snorted at that and let Binghe finish. He was slightly worried that his scum villain would take one look at him and fling him across the room, but he’s given Shen Qingqiu friendship. He wasn’t the same ostracized, lonely, broken man from his story. And even if he was, he wouldn’t have intentionally thrown a small baby. 

And Binghe was small and weak. Shang Qinghua had discovered that Shen Qingqiu had a soft spot for those who couldn’t protect themselves. He liked to feel strong since it made him feel safe. It was partially why they got along so well. Shang Qinghua wouldn’t stand up for himself and would often get more work then he could handle, so Shen Qingqiu had taken it upon himself to make sure everyone knew to do their own fucking work you worthless worms. And Shang Qinghua, of course, gave him someone he could protect and keep safe. Like a cat who warns you about your new sketchy boyfriend and attempts to save you from him through hissing. 

He unlatched Luo Binghe and fixed his robes (maybe he should invest in making maternity robes or just have fewer layers on) before carefully handing him over. “Watch his neck, he can’t support his head.” Shen Qingqiu didn’t say a word as Binghe stared up at him with those large puppy eyes. The so-called scum villain's eyes softened slightly and a hint of a smile appeared on his mouth. “Do you want to burp him?” 

Shen Qingqiu looked over as he held up a small rag. He nodded. Shang Qinghua helped him pull him up on his shoulder and set the rag under him. “He won’t ruin my robes?” 

“No, the rag should catch it. First time he spit up he only got it on himself.” He giggled and sat back. Shen Qingqiu started lightly patting his back and soon Binghe burped and spit up some milk. He then adorably squealed and tried to turn towards Shen Qingqiu. 

“Isn’t he a newborn? Why is he moving so much?” He scuffed and repositioned the baby. Binghe once more sucked on his fist and stared at his Shibo. 

“He’s very active and it’s a good sign that he’s healthy and strong. Isn’t he adorable?” 

“En” 

“Aaaw who knew Shen-Shixiong had a soft spot for babies?” Shang Qinghua poked his cheek and the other man literally hissed and snapped at his finger. He jumped back with a small squeak. Stupid tsundere cat. 

“What, am I not allowed to find the little beast endearing in a useless way?” He sneered before wrinkling his nose. Binghe giggled and waved his free hand around. 

“Noooooo don’t call him that. He’s the cutest baby ever.” 

“Hah little beast, annoying little vermin, worthless worm.” In the softest tone of voice Shen Qingqiu could manage, he insulted Binghe. The baby just giggled. 

Shang Qinghua sighed and held his head. So his scum villain would just call him names in an endearing, estranged older brother way. Which was fine, as long as it wasn’t malicious. Hopefully baby Bingbing would forget or at least forgive him for it.

He suddenly felt an incoming headache as he remembered that other people existed. “When do you think the rest of our martial siblings will stop by?” 

Shen Qingqiu looked up and shrugged. “I was visiting Qiong Ding with my Shizun this morning when Zhangmen-Shibo alerted the two of us of the development and I immediately left.” He said it as if simply blowing off the two most influential people was normal. 

“Ah, thanking Shixiong for worrying about this Shidi.” Shang Qinghua sighed and drank more tea. “Would you be willing to help me go through some of the things my Shifu gave him for Binghe. It’s way too much and I’ll probably only get more.” He pointedly poked a basket of toys and clothes. Shen Qingqiu snorted and handed back Binghe. 

“Of course, while Gao-Shishu is sweet he has no style. Half of these outfits will most likely be colors of other peaks. And we don’t want to insinuate anything.” He pulled a basket over and began a strategic purge. 

Shang Qinghua winced and grabbed a stuffed black dog to give to Binghe. He immediately deposited it in his mouth. “Yikes, if that happened they would attack me with rumors of how he’s a secret love child between peaks or something.” 

“Yes, that would be best to avoid. You’ve remained outside the realm of gossip for a while now. However due to…developments that’s no longer possible.” He threw a darker blue baby robe into a far corner. Qiong Ding colors. He looked up through his lashes at the two at blinked slowly. “Why is the little beast staring at me like that?”

Shang Qinghua and noticed that Binghe was indeed gazing at his Shen-Shibo with his large sweet eyes. “I think I read somewhere that babies like looking at things they find beautiful. That’s why they like shiny things.” 

Shen Qingqiu snorted, “Well the little beast has bad taste then.” Shang Qinghua gasped and threw a stuffed cat at him. 

“No talking about yourself like that Shixiong! We talked about this.” He got ready to launch into a rant when he was interrupted. 

BANG! BANG! BANG!

For the second time that day Shang Qinghua’s door was assaulted. He gave a look to Shen Qingqiu. The taller man glared at the door as if it had slighted him. “Don’t open it. They’ll eventually give up and leave.” 

“WE HEARD THAT SHEN QINGQIU!” Qi Qingqi yelled through the door and began pounding. Binghe looked at the door with a strange and angry expression. He then started sniffling. Ah fuck no. 

“Shhh don’t cry don’t cry. I’m coming, hold on!” He jumped up and opened the door before immediately going back to his seat. He couldn’t tell them to enter since An Ding dealt with sensitive information, doors to leisure houses could only be opened by the resident or someone with a higher rank than them. It’s why they all had special jade pieces. 

Qi Qingqi, Liu Qingge, Wei Qingwei, and Zhou Qingxu entered. Xian Shu, Bai Zhan, Wan Jian, and Zui Xian.  At the sight of Shang Qinghua holding a crying child they froze. 

“Wow, they really weren’t joking about you having a kid.” Liu Qingge bluntly stated while the other three stared in shock. Shang Qinghua shuffled awkwardly trying to get Binghe to fucking breathe. He was dead set on wailing though. Strong lungs. 

“Tch, you grabbed a random kid and you don’t even know how to make it stop crying? Aren’t you in over your head?” Qi Qingqi sneered at the snot that was now leaking from his nose. 

“Oh like you would even save the child, much less take it in Shimei.” Shen Qingqiu bit back enunciating Shimei. Qi Qingqi clenched her fists and looked ready to fight. 

Binghe suddenly stopped crying and began to whimper instead. His large eyes blinked at the new people. Shang Qinghua sighed and bounced him some more. “I don’t think I’m in over my head. Binghe is a good baby, he just doesn’t like loud noises.” He glared at Liu Qingge who was guiltily not making eye contact. 

“Yeah well the kid is cute, so sorry for being loud.” He grumbled and kicked a toy absent mindedly. Everyone gave him a weird look. “What! I have a little sister who’s probably only a year older. Can I not appreciate my Shizhi?” He snapped at all of them and sat down next to Shang Qinghua, staring into Luo Binghe’s eyes. 

“Well this is nice but babies can’t drink. I just wanted to see if it was true. I’ll be on Ying Zi peak if you need me.” Zhou Qingxu grumbled, taking a swig of…something, before smiling once at Binghe and leaving. 

“But isn’t Zhou-Shidi from Zui Xian?” Shang Qinghua tapered off as everyone started nodding. 

“He’s going to drink with Wen Qingxing. Despite insisting that he hates him.” Wei Qingwei helpfully supplied. That did make sense now. Wen Qingxing had been flirting with Zhou Qingxu since they were disciples. Good for them. 

Liu Qingge had picked up two stuffed animals and was moving them around. Probably making them fight with how he smacked them together. Binghe enjoyed the show, staring at it enraptured. 

“Well I think this is too suspicious. We haven’t even ascended and yet you have a child? You’re probably just covering for Shen Qingqiu and the kid is just one of his many bastards.” Qi Qingqi came to fight and started another one. How annoying. He hadn’t even had Binghe for a day and already was getting questioned on who’s kid he really was. 

“Qi-Shimei please, Binghe looks nothing like Shen-Shixiong. You shouldn’t spread false rumors just because you’re jealous that..Binghe likes him more than you.” Shang Qinghua caught himself before he said ‘that Shen Qingqiu is prettier than you’. He heard a story from one of his Shimei on An Ding that Qi Qingqi once scared a girl's face when someone said she was prettier than her. Her Shizun and the sect leader had apparently covered it up but the girl had been so messed up and humiliated, she left. For some reason Shang Qinghua felt inclined to believe it. 

Qi Qingqi scuffed but it seemed less charged. “Well that’s because he hasn’t been around me yet. Let me hold him for a minute and he’ll never want to leave my arms!” She sat down and held her arms out expecting to immediately get Binghe. 

“Uuuh sorry Shimei but if I can’t trust you to turn in paperwork completed and on time, then how could I trust you with Binghe?” Shang Qinghua gave a shy smile as her face contorted with rage. 

“Well paperwork isn’t a baby! And I’m not going anywhere so you have nothing to worry about. He also probably needs a woman’s touch. After babies need mother figures.” God he hated her so fucking much. Still he handed over Luo Binghe, sending a prayer that he didn’t try to attach himself to her chest. She would definitely yeet him out a window if that happened. Magic protagonist baby skills or not. 

Binghe stared up at her and gurgled. She smiled and patted his head. “See he's completely fine. He probably wouldn’t even last this long in Shen Qingqiu’s arms. After all babies are sensi-“ 

Blurp. 

Binghe deposited his breakfast all over her robes. She had a shocked disgusted look on her face. Binghe started wiggling and tearing up. He then burst into tears. 

Hiding his laughter Shang Qinghua grabbed, the spit up covered, Binghe and took him to the bathroom to clean up. As he left, he heard Qi Qingqi shriek in disgust and frustration before stomping out. 

“Good job Bingbing! I’m so proud of you! He giggled and kissed his nose before starting to wipe him down. 

Chapter Text

It had been a tiring week, despite not having any paperwork. People came sniffing around to see 

Luo Binghe and to just be pests. A few even asked if he would be having a hundred days celebration for him. His Shifu had assured them they would and then told Shang Qinghua to not worry about it at all. Which was code for ‘I’m gonna throw you and your kid a big fucking party and you don’t get a choice’. 

He had also started getting his work and he found himself moving his office space to his sitting room, instead of his room. He didn’t want to disturb Binghe’s sleep by him staying up with a candle. So his table became a desk. The low sitting crib in that room became useful during the day when Binghe was awake. 

He was doing pretty good. It was a little hard learning to juggle entertaining a baby and doing your monthly reports on the spending habits of the peak’s kitchens. Did you know they went through nearly 500 eggs a day? Luckily the beast taming peak, Shou Kong, had regular livestock along with their magical ones. 

Shang Qinghua laid his head on the desk/table and groaned into the sheet of paper. His wrists hurt from writing so much and it wasn’t the ‘I’ve typed over 100k words of a trash fire story in a week’ hurt. It was the ‘I’ve held a brush and wrote with ink all day, please chop off my hand’ hurt. 

He turned his head to his window. It was still dark outside. Probably around three in the morning if his writer's clock was telling him the truth. Binghe had eaten a few hours ago and had promptly fallen back to sleep. Lucky bastard. Shang Qinghua looked at the papers and debated if he could squeeze in a little nap. He raised his arms over his head, they began popping a worrying amount. He stood up shaking life into his limbs. He went into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. Yeah he could take a little nap. 

The whimpering met him first as he regained consciousness. He mindlessly went over to Binghe and pulled him up, loosening his robes 

and letting him feed. He should probably check his diaper after thi-

Fuck. 

He froze and maintained awkward eye contact with the blushing face of a demon lord. Mobei’s-Jun looked about to either pass out or punch something. 

“Uuuuuuh good morning my king. Don’t mind me, I'll just…..finish up Binghe….” 

“…”

“…”

They just stood there staring at each other for a while until Binghe let go and burped. Shang Qinghua immediately went into burping mode. Mobei-Jun floated over to his chair and sat down. Well that was weird. 

He left to clean up Binghe and came back to his bedroom. Mobei’s face looked less uncomfortable and he seemingly regained his composure. 

“How old is he?” 

“Huh?” Shang Qinghua tilted his head, scrunching his brows. He had been expecting an order or something. “Oh, he’s probably a little over a week. When I found him he was

Only a day or two old.” He quickly rambled off after getting a glare. 

His guest grunted and crossed his arms. “He is half demon.” Shang Qinghua nodded, hadn’t they already established this? “He needs demonic influence or else he’ll become weak.” 

“Ah yes my kin- WAIT WHAT!?” He gaped at Mobei’s-Jun and his stupid smug face. 

“I said, he needs demonic influence or else he’ll become weak. This King will ensure he doesn’t become pitiful.” He nodded and closed his bright blue eyes for a second. When he opened them he looked expectedly at Shang Qinghua. Who was currently going through the five stages of grief. 

“You-you-you’re saying you want. WANT. To help raise Binghe?!” He squeaked and looked down at the half demon baby. He was blissfully unaware of the situation and was

drooling on himself. 

“Yes, I will simply stop by and make sure you are not coddling him too much. I will also teach him the ways of demons.” He smirked again, pleased with his initiative. He would help his Qinghua raise his son, and prove himself to be a suitable spouse. Taking care of someone else's child with him would be a good way to show his affections and how serious he was about it. 

Unaware of Mobei’s-Jun’s plan and thought process, Shang Qinghua was panicking that if Binghe was raised with direct demonic influence, he might become even more bloodthirsty. Maybe Mobei-Jun knew he was half heavenly demon and thus super strong. It would be good for the kingdom if he helped raise the demon emperor. 

“O-of course my king, this servant is greatly indebted for your wildness to help teach Binghe.” He bowed as well as he could with a baby. 

Mobei-Jun walked over and held his hand out. “Let me hold him.” An order not a question. Shang Qinghua started to reposition his arms so that Binghe had neck support. Babies were really delicate. He then carefully placed the wide eyed half demon in the arms of the ice demon lord. 

“Watch his head.” Qinghua murmured softly. He then stood back and watched the two of them. Mobei-Jun had a blank face, his body tense and unmoving. The two demons simply stared at each other. 

Binghe made a small noise before burying his face in Mobei’s pec. Shang Qinghua felt a hint of jealousy. “He is…small.” Mobei had never been one for whispering but here he was. Standing in Shang Qinghua’s bedroom, holding the future half demon emperor and boss. 

[ +20 points for starting quest line ‘Ice daddy’ ]

Nevermind the system ruined the moment. Shang Qinghua felt the intense urge to throttle it. He’d probably look crazy since no one could see the screens, but what did care about reputation? 

***

Mobei-Jun ignored Shang Qinghua’s strange mutterings, as they were now normal and to be expected, in favor of gazing at the child. Binghe was so soft and small. He had killed many humans and demons, but never had he held a newborn, precious, life. The small creature trusted and leaned into him. 

Mobei-Jun felt a warm fluttering in his cold chest. He found he didn’t hate it. Luo Binghe opened his eyes again, the endless black meeting charged blue. So full of love and innocence. He wanted to protect that gaze. 

He knew he was cold and didn’t understand many of  the aspects of social interaction. He knew what an insult was, who was kissing ass, and who was an ass. That was all he thought he needed. Then Qinghua had flipped his perception upside down. So many emotions would flip through his face and he wanted to learn all of them. He was so open and caring but would get as cold as him if someone so much as insulted his king. My king . Mobei-Jun liked it when he called him that. 

“Blrrrgh.” The baby brought him out of his dangerous thoughts. His hand was in his mouth and was gurgling. Mobei pulled the hand out and, as careful as he could, wiped away the spit. 

“That is not a proper form of conduct for a high ranking demon.” He muttered, trying to sound warmer but ended up still sounding cold. He glanced at Qinghua who was looking at them with something in his eyes. Possessiveness . His heart did another weird flutter. 

“I think he likes you, my king. He throws up on people he doesn’t.” Qinghua giggled a little at that. Mobei-Jun had never heard him giggle before. It was…adorable. He wanted to grab the man, bring him to his palace, and lock him up so no one but him could hear his laughter. But he wasn’t his father so he would control himself. 

He had known Qinghua for six years, meeting when he was 17 and the flighty man was 18. In those years he had felt himself coming to terms with the feelings he had toward Qinghua. He was weak and pathetic and he felt the urge to smack him around, prove his strength. But at the same time, Mobei-Jun wished to protect him, bundle him in furs and jewelry, and treat him like no one ever had before. 

His instincts to prove his own strength won over. And now Qinghua would panic and flinch near him. He HATED that. It made him angry and then he let his anger out at Qinghua. Then he would be angry with himself and leave. 

But the child didn’t flinch. Binghe simply sat in his arms, eyes getting sleepy. He wanted Qinghua to treat him like that, curl up in his arms and fall asleep. 

“Oh he’s falling asleep. I’ll just…” Qinghua reached out, carefully extracting Binghe from his arms. Their hands brushed for a second, leaving behind a soft warmth on his fingers. Qinghua stepped back, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks, scurrying away to set Binghe down in the crib. Mobei-Jun watched quietly as a bit of candlelight from the other room made his chestnut hair glow. 

“This servant has to get back to his paperwork, unless my king has something else for me to do.” Qinghua immediately put the barriers up and Mobei-Jun felt a sour taste in his mouth. 

“Hmph, do as you wish.” He grumbled, trying to not hit him for calling himself a servant. He walked over to Qinghua’s bed and flopped down on it. He often slept there while the other man worked on papers and scurried around. If it was the only place he could safely dream, well he wasn’t going to admit it. 

***

Shang Qinghua sat at his desk and stared into space before taking a sharp inhale. What the fuck was that! Why did he look so goddamn handsome holding a fucking kid!!! He rubbed his face, groaning. His poor heart could barely take the adorable protagonist but now he had to deal with Mobei-Jun acting all paternal. 

He sighed and went back to his budgeting. At least his king hadn’t hit him today. Maybe having Binghe around would warm the cold ice demon. Unlikely to happen. 

As he toiled away, the sky started to lighten and turn a soft pink. Morning was coming and soon he would be swamped in more work. He had just barely finished his work and even then it wasn’t his best. Hopefully it was adequate enough he wouldn’t have to deal with his Shifu acting like a disappointed parent. He already had four of them (six if you counted his past life’s step parents). 

He walked over to his room and poked his head in. Mobei-Jun had already left (he pretended like that didn’t hurt a bit) and Binghe was still in dreamland. Probably dreaming of his future empire. 

Shang Qinghua silently changed into his nicer robes and wiped his face down with water. He even got to brush out his hair before the little half demon started fussing. After getting him all nice and situated he walked back into the sitting room and collected his papers. He had to drop them off to his Shifu before going to Qiong Ding for the head disciple meeting. 

It was meant to get them ready for the peak lord meetings and inspire cooperation between peaks. All it led to was gossiping, arguing, and ordering Shang Qinghua to procure items for their peaks (it was really just for themselves though). It was also the first meeting with Binghe. 

He didn’t want to bring him but all his martial siblings from An Ding were too busy running around like chickens without a head. His own Shifu had the actual peak lord peering and Shen Qingqiu, who made it known that he would be the primary babysitter simply because he didn’t want Binghe to turn out as a brainless brute, would be stuck in the same meeting as Shang Qinghua. 

Grabbing his baby sling (yes he has a baby sling and yes it is very manly), he dashed out the door ready to suffer. He didn’t even grab breakfast since there would be pastries at the meeting. So his stomach was currently screaming at him 

He walked over to the rainbow bridge connecting An Ding to Qiong Ding and waited for his Shifu. They would walk to the peak together and discuss different uses for arrays or new ideas for storage. Gao Mingxing arrived with a tired smile, eye bags matching Shang Qinghua’s, that quickly became energetic at the sight of Binghe. His Shifu really did have a soft spot for children. If he was in the modern world, Shang Qinghua could see him being a teacher there as well. 

“Ah Qinghua, I see you have your finished reports.” He quickly collected the finished scrolls and tucked them into his qiankun pouch. The man quickly followed it up by ruffled Binghe’s hair. It was so soft and fluffy no one could resist it’s temptation. 

“Yes Shifu. Do you have everything you need for today’s meeting?” They began their walk just as the sun began to peek out from behind the mountains. 

The older man gave a pleased hum and looked up at the sky. “Yes I have everything for the meeting. Thank you for asking Qinghua. Has Bingbing been acting well?” 

Said Bingbing gave a gurgle of a response, sending Gao Mingxing into laughter. “Yes Shifu, Bingbing has been doing quite well. I took him to Qian Cao yesterday and he was perfectly healthy.” Shang Qinghua gave Binghe his dog plushie. Dog plushie immediately got covered with spit. 

“This Yeye is glad.” Gao Mingxing had also taken to calling himself grandfather. He was excited to gloat about it to his fellow peak lords. They would be so jealous he got to see Bingbing everyday. 

[ +10 points for completing ‘Shifu is now Yeye’ ]

Shang Qinghua was trying not to combust from it. His Shifu was calling Binghe his grandson. The original Luo Binghe never had any grandparent figures. He wondered how it would change the story. He shook his head trying to get out of the ‘it’s just a story and none of these people are real’ headspace. He already spent most of his life that way and only after befriending Shen Qingqiu did he try to stop thinking like that. 

“Shifu, you don’t have to call yourself that. It makes you seem old.” 

“Heh, this master is an old man. I'd rather embrace it and accept the fact I have an adorable grandson then pretend to be a young spout like you.” Gao Mingxing patted him on the shoulder as they finally reached their destination. 

A few Qiong Ding disciples were already running about. Shang Qinghua got a few strange looks but most of the people were too busy to give a shit. Much like him. The master and disciple duo parted ways with a firm back pat and Shang Qinghua was left to fend for himself. Well he had Binghe but he doubted the newborn could do anything to protect him. 

As the two reached the meeting hall, Shang Qinghua suddenly realized that Shen Qingqiu was awkwardly standing behind a tree. If you stood at the entrance to the hall, you wouldn’t be able to see him. Confused, Shang Qinghua approached him. 

“Shen-Shixiong are you okay?” He lightly placed his hand on the man’s tense shoulder. Shen Qingqiu deflated a bit. 

“No, I arrived earlier than I meant and when I arrived the only one here already was Yue-Shixiong. I was not about to be alone in a room with him.” He sniffed and fanned himself. Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but grimince at the situation. Shen Qingqiu took that grimince as ‘oh no that’s not fun you’ll probably fight’ rather then ‘I’m a shitty creator and my poor creations have communication issues’. 

“So I was waiting for someone to come. Luckily it’s and the little beast.” Shen Qingqiu brushed his knuckles against Binghe’s face before composing himself once more. “Let us go in before the rest of the buffoons arrive.” 

“Alright Shen-Shixiong. Oh how has your painting been going. You mentioned it a few days ago and that it had been giving you some trouble.” Shang Qinghua smiled up at the taller man. Shen Qingqiu mumbled something to himself. 

“It is fine.” He finally spoke up as the two of them, plus the baby, entered. Yue Qingyuan immediately perked up and smiled at Shen Qingqiu. 

Shen Qingqiu did not perk up or smile. 

“Ah Xiao- I mean, Shen-Shidi, how are you?” Yue Qingyuan cheerfully sat up even more. Shen Qingqiu grunted and sat down to the man's right (since the head disciples had to sit in peak order, he was forced to begrudgingly endure Yue Qingyuan). Shang Qinghua silently took his seat next to Shen Qingqiu.

Yue Qingyuan finally noticing the others presence gave a small nod. “I’m glad to see that you are able to join us today Shang-Shidi. You and Xiao-Bing.” 

“Don’t call him that.” Shen Qingqiu snarled from behind his fan, eyes blazing with anger. “His name is Binghe or Bingbing, don’t throw unrealistic viewpoints at another child.” Yue Qingyuan immediately stopped smiling and took on the spear emcee of a kicked dog. 

Damn Shen-Shixiong, you had no problem with An-Shibo calling him Xiao-Bingbing but as soon as Yue Qingyuan does you flip out. Calm down, I doubt he’s trying to replace you. 

Shang Qinghua laughed nervously, grabbing a few buns. Binghe tried to grab them while he played keep away. As if smelling tension, the other head disciples made their way inside. Slowly the table filled up with light conversation and gossiping. Always gossiping. 

“So Shang-Shidi, how’s our first little Shizhi doing?” Wen Qingxing slid silently into Qi Qingqiu’s seat. Qi Qingqi was currently talking to Yu Qingsi about something. 

Shang Qinghua smiled nervously at the future head of Ying Zi Peak. The peak that dealt in shadows and secrets. He was always on guard around him, worried he would find out about his….part time job. 

“Oh well, Binghe has been a good kid. He eats a lot and sleeps more than I expected.” Shang Qinghua smiled and pulled Binghe up so he was leaning against his chest. 

Wen Qingxing’s eyes sparkled. “Hmm interesting. What’s his surname again?” 

“Luo, since I found him in the Luo.” Shang Qinghua felt slightly confused. Didn’t his Shidi already know this? The man simply nodded and took out his own fan. While Shen Qingqiu used his as a shield, Wen Wingxing used his for emphasis and drama. Strange coming from the spy peak. 

“A name like that is truly beautiful, the poetic and literal meaning is one that goes hand in hand with one another. Named after the icy river he was found in.” He dramatically flicked his fan, eyes still glimmering with something. It unnerved him. 

“Uuuuuuh, I guess? I didn’t really think much about the name.” 

“So you went with your heart? How interesting. Did you name him that because maybe in your heart you love winter?” 

Oh fucking shit is he alluding to knowing I work for Mobei-Jun!!! Or is he just being his weird normal self! Shang Qinghua just awkwardly smiled. 

“Oi Lao Wen, stop bullying Shang-Shixiong and go to your seat.” Zhou Qingxu suddenly came up behind them clutching his alcohol like a lifeline. He looked drunk and hungover at the same time. And he probably was. Wen Qingxing started whining as he was dragged away to his seat. 

Shang Qinghua sighed glad he avoided yet another harrowing questioning. 

“What a weirdo.” Shen Qingqiu scuffed, flicking his fan. Shang Qinghua just gave a look, trying to convey ‘and you’re not a weirdo as well?’

“Let us begin the meeting.” Yue Qingyuan spoke loudly and everyone shut up and took their seats. Qi Qingqi sat down and clearly gave Binghe a warning gaze. It looked as if she was scared he would projectile vomit on her again. 

“Now does anyone have anything they wish to discuss?” 

~~~~~~~~

The meeting went on for hours. It was horribly boring and of course everyone had to bring up their peak’s budget. And if they were talking about budget then they needed Shang Qinghua. He spent the entire meeting having to fill in information while entertaining Binghe. 

While the peak lords had the final say in budget changes, the successors were now expected to draft up said changes. Which meant more work. Luckily by the time Shang Qinghua would ascend, Binghe would be able to feed and use the bathroom himself. 

But for now Binghe was sitting in his sling still sleeping after the talk of allocating materials for more training dummies came up. 

Shang Qinghua stood by the entrance watching the snow fall. While he knew Binghe was born in winter, he never did officially pick a day. But going off of the fact he was only a week and a few days old, he was born near the end of what would be January. He smiled at his protagonist son's cute round face as he snored softly. 

“Shang-Shidi, would you like to join me today for tea?” Shen Qingqiu materialized behind him, causing him to squeak and jump a little. Shang Qinghua glanced behind him and saw an incoming Yue-Shixiong. 

“Of course Shixiong. Let’s go immediately, I need to feed Binghe anyway.” Shang Qinghua spoke up a little louder than usual, making sure the others could hear. The two of them then quickly made a strategic retreat. They didn’t dare look back at the heartbroken face of Yue Qingyuan. 

They reached Qing Jing peak and shuffled over towards the head disciple’s cottage. It was made of bamboo and held a sense of elegant whimsy. As they approached Binghe decided to wake up and make his hunger known. 

“You can feed him at the table while I get the tea. Just make sure you look presentable.” Shen Qingqiu slid his fan back into his belt before going to collect a pot. Shang Qinghua sat down, dishing Binghe’s cries. 

“Stop screaming, my tits right here.” He grumbled. Shen Qingqiu came back holding a pouch of probably expensive tea. “I swear he gets more and more demanding as the days go by.”

“You’re coddling him too much. He can sense your weakness and is using it to run all over you. Just like those other assholes” Shen Qingqiu sat across from him, pouring water with a very serious expression. 

“I was being sarcastic, A-Jiu.” 

“So was I, A-Lei.” 

The two of them stared off for a bit before Shang Qinghua snorted and began to cackle. Shen Qingqiu let his exterior crack for a second and smiled. 

“Ugh I hate them all so much, ‘give me more money’ and ‘where’s all the money going’. Do they not realize how expensive things are?” Shang Qinghua grabbed a handful of melon seeds. 

Shen Qingqiu nodded in agreement “it’s because they are spoiled brats who always got what they wanted. They probably don’t even do their own peak budgets.”

Shang Qinghua smacked the table with his free hand, causing Binghe to freeze for a second. “They don’t, the other peak lords throw their budgets on Shifu and they in turn learn to throw theirs on me! They only three who actually do their own budgets is Qiong Ding, Qing Jing, and surprising Ying Zi because their secretive as fuck!” Shen Qingqiu then got up and took out a jug of wine. 

“Can you still drink?” He took out two extra cups and sat back down. 

“No, well I can but I don’t want to go back to my Peak drunk with a newborn.” Shen Qingqiu nodded and then poured alcohol in both cups and took them both like a line of shots. 

“More for me then. You shouldn’t let them run over you like that. If they don’t do their paperwork, don’t give them what they need.” Shang Qinghua shrugged and drank some tea. It was sweet with a hint of mint. 

“I would but I’m not a peak lord yet. I also don’t want to punish the disciples. They don’t deserve to be denied things due to incomplete paperwork. Also what’s this tea, it’s really good!” 

“It’s a mix of jasmine, mint, and hibiscus. It’s a custom blend. I can give you some before you leave.” He swirled his cup around a few times before sighing. “If you want…I could always have a little chat with them.” Shen Qingqiu glanced up through his lashes. Shang Qinghua felt a chill go down his spine. And not the cold shiver from when Mobei-Jun was around. 

“No no, it’s fine Shen-Shixiong! I’ll try talking to them about how if they do their own budget they may find ways to fit extra costs in.” He fidgeted with his cup. Binghe stopped eating and started drooling on his skin. Gross. “Okay burp time Bingbing.” 

As he burped the tiny little half demon, Shen Qingqiu continued to look at him with a strange expression. “So you’ll be quite busy with paperwork. And poor little Binghe will have no one to keep an eye on him.” 

“What do you want.” 

“I want an excuse to avoid Yue Qingyuan. And you need someone to watch Binghe and keep away from unwanted work. So I would like to propose a work arrangement.” Shen Qingqiu smirked and sipped slowly. 

Shang Qinghua froze. It did sound intriguing and could be useful for him. “What are you proposing?” 

“I would like to come to An Ding whenever I do not have a mission or something to do, all this under the guise of trying to increase peak relations and to help you with Binghe. I doubt Shizun or Gao-Shishu will have any problem with it. I would also be willing to help with basic paperwork.” 

It sounded way too good to be true. “All this because you want to avoid Yue Qingyuan and hang out with Binghe? I truly don’t understand what you are getting out of this.” Shen Qingqiu sighed and slammed his cup down. 

“Is it so hard to believe that maybe I’m doing something nice for once? Or maybe I’m using it as an excuse to escape my own peak, you know how my own Shidi treat me.” 

Shang Qinghua sighed. “Alright, since there isn’t anything bad about it. It would also be nice to be able to talk to someone who can provide feedback.” He had started talking to himself back in his own world, and he had dragged that over to this one. 

Shen Qingqiu gave him a sly smile. “Perfect, I’ll get permission from Shizun and Gao-Shishu later today.” Shen Qingqiu suddenly raised a silencing talisman and activated it. Shang Qinghua got a bad feeling. “Now let’s talk about your ice demon.”

Oh shit. 

Chapter Text

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

“Haha what ice demon Shen-Shixiong? Are you sure you didn’t have too much wine?” Shang Qinghua nervously chuckled and reached to take the wine away. Shen Qingqiu caught his wrist and looked into his eyes with a strange gaze. 

“Three years ago you had too much wine, started complaining about how ‘handsome my wonderful king is’ and that ‘his hands are so big they circle around my waist’. Oh my personal favorite was ‘my king's thighs are so strong, they could crush my head like a melon’. Care to explain that.” Shen Qingqiu made his voice high-pitched when impersonating Shang Qinghua. 

Shang Qinghua gulped. He was currently having a panic attack and sweating up a storm. Not because he was a spy and was found out, but rather that his best friend (only friend) had heard his unrestrained horny thoughts. “Oh my god, I am so sorry you had to hear that-wait. You said three years ago. YOU'VE KNOWN FOR THREE YEARS AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!”

“I never had a reason to.”

Shang Qinghua felt his jaw drop. What did he mean he didn’t have a reason to, he was spying on their sect. Confidential information going to the other side!

“Fine I’ll elaborate,” he picked at his perfect nails, “you never posed a threat to me. I know that you wouldn’t purposefully endanger innocent disciples and I would rather have someone like that giving away information.” 

“Okay so you wanted someone you could control, but THREE YEARS! Why didn’t you ask me to double cross my king! You could have used me, why are you only now bringing it up!” Shang Qinghua felt himself getting hysterical. Binghe gurgled at him, confused about his tone change. 

Shen Qingqiu flicked his fan open. He conveyed the whole elegant villain perfectly. Even if he wasn’t a villain. “I want to make sure that Binghe will be safe.” 

“I-that's it?!” 

“It's not an unrealistic concern. After all, I've had to hear your half assed excuses for broken wrists and ribs at least a dozen times. How can I be sure he doesn’t use Binghe to threaten you?” He gestured to Shang Qinghua’s whole body. 

He flinched a little, suddenly becoming aware of the tightness around his lungs caused by untreated broken ribs that healed wrong. “My king would never hurt Binghe. He knows that children shouldn’t be punished or abused because of something their parents did.” The creator's guilt dug into him. Why did he have to give all his children trauma? 

“Does he even know of Binghe’s existence? If he does, how do you completely ensure that your son will be safe? A-Lei I’m worried for you two.” Shang Qinghua froze and looked into Shen Qingqiu’s eyes. The green eyes looked sad and lifeless, unlike their usual fire. More guilt swam in his gut. 

He swallowed down the knot in his throat and took a deep breath. “My king has met Binghe and has conveyed that he would protect him. I’ve asked for very little in my work as a spy so asking for his safety is a small request.” He had to pause for a moment to collect his thoughts. “Binghe is safe and my king is not someone to hurt someone else to hurt someone. He would just hurt the person. He’s not really a schemer or someone who uses mental strain to break someone.” 

Shen Qingqiu nodded at that, after all the Mobei line was known to just bash skulls to get to someone. “Fine, If you believe in him so much then so be it. But the second he hurts Binghe or you again, I’m ripping his guts out.” His eyes sharpened from above his fan. More sweat glistened on Shang Qinghua’s forehead. 

“Okay that sound-“

“I would also like to have a talk with him about his treatment of you. I have reached my limit for allowing him to do whatever he wants to you. Please arrange it for me.” He took a far to perfect sip of alcohol and smiled. It was terrifying. 

“Yeah but then I wouldn’t be a good spy if you know-“

“The two of us have both been pushed to our limits and undervalued by our sect siblings. We are bound to snap one of these days. If I wanted to get in on having a back up plan for when that happens, then it makes sense.” Shen Qingqiu had better stop interrupting him or he was going to snap. 

But he wasn’t wrong. Seeing how his sect treated him, it made sense why the original Shang Qinghua went evil. Hell, he even wrote the original as his oc and him snapping was what he wished he could do in real life. The idea of a similarly treated Shen Qingqiu also joining demons did make some sense. The only reason he never did it in the original book was he was too prideful to seek them out and none of them came to him with the offer. 

“Alright I’ll tell him you want to meet up. Just a warning though, he might get angry and drop the temperature so dress warmly.” 

“A-Lei, we’re cultivators. We can heat ourselves up.” Shen Qingqiu just stared deadpanned at him. Shang Qinghua felt like a total idiot. 

He laughed nervously (which was a bad habit he had failed to drop on transmigrating) and looked down at Binghe. The baby was still looking confused. So cute. 

“Yes we are. Besides, even if my king didn’t have his morals then Binghe’s cuteness totally would have saved him. They maintained eye contact for a few seconds and just like that my precious son caught the King of the Northern Desert!” He waved Binghe’s arms around, trying to bring down the stressful air. It seemed to work since Shen Qingqiu scuffed at his antics. 

“You’re so idiotic. Binghe’s cuteness is not a cute cure all to people or demons not having morals.”

“But he cured you.” 

“….”

Shen Qingqiu stood up slowly, his eyes twitching. 

“Wait A-Jiu I was just joking! Please spare me! I didn’t mean it!” He scurried up and held Binghe in front of his face. Binghe made a few happy sounding gurgles. My own son is ignoring the fact his father might be destroyed! Unfilial! Shen Qingqiu stepped closer and reached out his hand, only to snatch Binghe away. Shang Qinghua stood shocked for a second. 

“Huh?” He watched his nearly murderer coo at his protagonist. Said protagonist was giggling, playing with the fan tassel dangling over his head. 

“I expect a meeting sometime this week. Don’t disappoint me Shang-Shidi.” He winced at how he was demoted to Shang-Shidi and ignored by the two of them. 

“But A-Jiu, what happened to A-Lei? Don’t abandon your bro.” He whined and did what he was best at, thigh hugging. Shen Qingqiu looked down on him and sneered. 

“What are you, Five? Get up!” He tried to kick him off but Shang Qinghua was a professional. Binghe giggled as he was swayed and bounced a bit from the action. He eventually gave up with a sigh and patted Shang Qinghua’s head. “Please let go of my leg A-Lei.” 

Shang Qinghua smiled and detached. “You know I was actually really scared of you if you found out. I thought you would gut me or immediately tell on me.” 

“I thought of it, but I figured being a demon's lapdog was a fitting punishment. You are also my….friend. I would not abandon you simply because you were forced to do something. Although now you seem to be willingly spying.” Shen Qingqiu set Binghe back in Shang Qinghua’s arms. He sat in front of Shang Qinghua and grabbed his shoulders.“Understand this, and do not mix up my words or convince yourself otherwise, you are my only friend and only person in this whole mountain range I fully trust and care for. While I trust my Shizun I know that if I was even the slightest bit weaker, she would never spare me a glance. And Yue-Shixiong….

But you chose to be my friend even when I attempted to push you away, you were stubborn and resilient. You showed me that I could trust again by placing your trust in me. While I am hurt you never told me about your ice demon, I understand. So Shang Lei, I will not leave you behind because of the choices you made to survive.” Shen Qingqiu’s voice shook towards the end. He was saying things he wished someone told him. 

Shang Qinghua couldn’t help the tears in his eyes. “Thank you for your trust A-Jiu. And hey, I won’t abandon you either. Us loners and weirdos have to stick together after all.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes, Shen Qingqiu gave him a handkerchief. 

“Well that's enough emotions for one day. Don’t forget to inform your demon and I will inform our teachers of our plan. I’ll get you the tea blend now.” Shen Qingqiu stood up and put his cold indifferent mask back on. As he left, he disabled the silencing talisman. 

~~~~~~

Shang Qinghua was tired. Shen Qingqiu had gotten permission to hang out and babysit Binghe with him all day. And with Shen Qingqiu sitting around talking to him and watching him work like a bird of prey, he couldn’t take any power naps. He also couldn’t sleep at night because he had to keep an eye out for Mobei-Jun. He was not looking forward to that conversation but perhaps the sleep deprivation would ease his nerves.  

So here he was, in the middle of the afternoon, nodding off. He had just fed Binghe and Shen Qingqiu had taken him outside because Binghe needed fresh air apparently. So Shang Qinghua felt himself nodding off. 

A little nap won’t harm anyone. It’ll be fine. 

***

Shen Qingqiu slid open the door and stepped inside. Scrolls were piled up along the wall and stuffed into every surface. He had attempted to clean it up but A-Lei had insisted that there was a system to it (and a system in his head ahaha). He often looked like a small rodent when he dug through the piles looking for a specific scroll. Said messy hamster was currently slumped over his table snoring. Right in the ink. 

“A-Lei, get up.” He set the little beast down in the crib and stepped over to his…..friend. He nudged him with his foot and got a snore. Examining his face, dark circles adorned his under eye and he looked like a walking corpse.  He had most likely not been sleeping. Shen Qingqiu could relate. 

“You need to take care of yourself. You have the little monster now.” He whispered, tucking some of his hair out of his face before sighing. A-Lei made a little grumble that sounded like he was complaining. 

Carefully picking him up, Shen Qingqiu brought A-Lei to his bed and tucked him in. He snored and rolled over, no wonder he had terrible posture. Shen Qingqiu turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. He walked over to Binghe and sat next to him. 

“Your Baba needs to take better care of himself.” 

“Hamapht.” He sputtered in agreement. What a visionary. Shen Qingqiu promptly poked his chubby cheek and smiled as the baby tried to grab his finger. 

“Little beast don’t eat my finger, my limbs aren’t meant to be chew toys for you (in another world Bingmei sneezes while preparing congee for his husband).” He poked the baby’s cheek again and the slobber filled mouth attempted to bite him again. “No, what did I say? No biting me.” 

The sweet moment was ruined by the sound of pounding feet outside. The sound froze before the door and a soft knock could be heard instead. The door then quickly opened and in strided the brute. 

Liu Qingge froze at the sight of Shen Qingqiu before his face contorted with anger. “What the hell are you doing here? Where is Shang Qinghua!” 

Shen Qingqiu sneered in response. “Can you shut up. Shang-Shidi is taking a well deserved nap. I should be the one asking what the hell you’re doing here.” 

Liu Qingge blinked a few times before looking at the closed door that led to the bedroom. His ears turned pink. “I don’t need to explain myself to you. I needed Shang Qinghua to help me with something.” He clenched his jaw at the word help as if it pained him to say the word. 

Oh this is too good to be true, Liu Qingge asking for help from A-Lei, how hilarious. Shen Qingqiu smirked up at the imposing man. “And what do you need his help with? I’m not about to let you wake him up, so out with it Liu-Shidi.” 

“I-he said that if he couldn’t trust us with paperwork then he couldn’t trust us to hold his son.” Liu Qingge turned a bright red and glared at the beast. The beast ignored him in favor of chewing on Shen Qingqiu’s fingers that he forgot to remove. 

“Wow, who knew the only way to get the Bai Zhan War God to do paperwork was by dangling a baby in front of him.” He sarcastically chuckled at the younger man. Liu Qingge looked embarrassed and annoyed. 

He huffed a few times before taking out a few scrolls. “Hey it’s just because I miss Mingyan and he’s the only baby around, okay! I just needed some help understanding this gibberish since my Shizun told me to figure it out myself.” 

Shen Qingqiu took that as the Bai Zhan peak lord also didn’t know how to do it. 

“Stop yelling and sit down.” Liu Qingge gave him a strange look. “What? I’m willing to show you if it means you get out of here faster and learn to do it yourself.” 

He grabbed a scroll while swiping his drool covered fingers on his lap. It appeared to be a simple budget and expenditure calculation. It was so easy the little beast could do it. Shen Qingqiu took a sharp inhale and started grinding some more ink. “So you’re going to want to start with these numbers….”

****

Shang Qinghua slowly blinked, sleep still clinging to his mind. He burrowed into his warm bed and let himself drift some more. Luckily Binghe was still sleeping. Binghe. 

He jumped up and fell off his bed, legs tangled in his blankets. He clutched the edge of the crib and found it empty. NO NO NO NO NO! Where’s Binghe!  Shang Qinghua burst open his bedroom door running out to look for where he left his son. 

“Ah, did you have a nice nap Shang-Shidi?” Shen Qingqiu sipped his tea. Shang Qinghua froze and saw that Binghe was sleeping peacefully in the sitting room/office cradle. He sighed with relief and fell to the ground with a thump. 

“Oh thank the gods. I thought I left him somewhere.” He touched his adoptive son's hair softly and brushed it out of his face. Despite being two weeks old, his hair was quite long and curly already. Luckily Shang Qinghua had slightly curly hair as well and knew how to take care of it. One less thing he would have to learn as a parent of the op protagonist. 

“I have finished my paperwork.” A gruff voice started Shang Qinghua back into his body and out of his head. Liu Qingge was awkwardly sitting across from Shen Qingqiu holding out a few scrolls. His fingers and sleeves were stained with ink. 

“Huh?” 

“You finished them? Please I had to hold your hand and walk you through everything.” Shen Qingqiu laughed at Liu Qingge’s blushing face. 

“Well I learned how to do them and helped with finishing them. So can I hold him?” 

“Huh?” Shang Qinghua tilted his head, very confused on what the fuck was happening. First off, Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge were sitting peacefully across from one another without Yue Qingyuan playing mediator. Second, Liu Qingge apparently did his paperwork of his own free will, with Shen Qingqiu’s help. Shang Qinghua wanted to know what strange new world he had woken up in. 

“You haven’t woken up in a different world, I simply thought that it would be easier for you if Bai Zhan actually did their own paperwork.” Ah shit he had said that last sentence out loud. “If I didn’t teach our Shidi how to do it properly then you would just have to fix it for him. It was the best option.” With that he flicked his fan dramatically and glared at Liu Qingge. 

Shang Qinghua nodded a bit still confused. “Okay but why did you suddenly do your paperwork and what does that have to do with holding Binghe?” 

Liu Qingge blinked slowly a few times, processing his confusion. His face then became red once more. “You had said that he wouldn’t be able to hold him since we can’t take care of paperwork. I had thought you actually meant that.” 

Shang Qinghua Ohed at that and nodded smiling a little. “I didn’t rember dying that but I do stand by it. Since you filled out your paperwork and acted nicely with Shen-Shixiong, I’ll let you hold Binghe. Keep doing paperwork and you’ll be able to hang out with him more, if you want of course.” He scratched his head and smiled bashfully. He tried to make it look like he hadn’t just said that to tick off Qi Qingqi. 

Liu Qingge accepted that and scooted over to the baby. He then carefully extracted him and cradled him gently in his arms. Very unlike the War God most people knew. 

“He is much smaller than Mingyan.” He rocked Binghe gently as he continued to nap. 

“He was probably born slightly premature. The little beast is also a newborn. If I can recall, Liu-Shidi left to meet his meimei at her 100 days ceremony.” Shen Qingqiu was once again the wellspring of knowledge and dates. 

“Yes she was older when I met her. Speaking of, what is the plan for his celebration? What would be an acceptable gift for him?” Liu Qingge, Bai Zhan War God, baby enthusiast. Luo Binghe had expanded his far reaching arms of baby cuteness and decimated this fearsome opponent. 

“Uh I actually have no idea. My Shifu has taken it upon himself to plan everything. He’s even established himself as Bingbing’s yeye. I think he might be losing it in his old age.” Shang Qinghua mumbled the last thing. 

Shen Qingqiu cackled at it. Liu Qingge just stared at the man with something akin to surprise and disgust. “He really is. When I got permission from him and Shizun to come here, he started ranting about how cute the little beast was. Shizun looked ready to either throttle him or push him off a cliff.” 

Binghe had awakened and happily squealed up at his new Shishu. Liu Qingge gave Shang Qinghua a shocked and smitten look. “He spoke to me.” Binghe then snuggled into him. 

“No, he gurgled. He probably thinks you're his mama and wants to be fed.” 

“Hey who are you calling mama! I’m his baba you baby snatching twig!” Shang Qinghua glowered at his Shixiong and snatched up Binghe from Liu Qingge, who was still in baby bliss mode. 

“Oh I’m a baby snatcher? At least I didn’t fish a baby out of a river.” Shen Qingqiu snapped back. “And since you are so unappreciative of this ‘baby snatcher’ who has helped you look after said baby then I’ll just leave.” He stood up, flicking his sleeves. 

“Nooo Shen-Shixiong, don’t leave me alone! We still need to have our book discussion.” Shang Qinghua pathetically stretched his hand out had made Binghe face the cruel man attempting to abandon them. 

Liu Qingge looked completely lost and confused. “Why are you two being weird?” 

Shen Qingqiu scuffed and looked at the youngest head disciple with disdain. “Who’s being weird Liu-Shidi? I think beating people up then disappearing for a month into the wilderness is weird and yet I don’t say anything about your habits. What power do you have for judging me and my A-Lei’s speaking habits?” 

Ah yes the scum villain’s possessive instincts. No one but him could offend Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe. 

Liu Qingge also picked up on it, or at least the nickname. He wrinkled his nose and jumped up. “See you’re being weird again. Just go back to being a prickly social outcast.” Excuse me Liu-Shidi but the fuck you just say to my A-Jiu? 

“Liu-Shidi, I believe it’s time for you to leave. I have to feed Binghe and it will most likely be uncomfortable for you. So if you could, please vacate my house.” He gave his best pissed off customer service smile and watched his Shidi squirm a bit. Shen Qingqiu was grinning with a maniac energy behind his fan. 

“Fine, I’ll go talk to Gao-Shibo about the party then.” He grumbled and stomped out. Not without looking back at the two of them with a weird expression. He slammed the door shut and could be heard stomping away. Probably destroying Shang Qinghua’s small flower garden. He sent a silent prayer for its survival. 

“Well that went better than I thought it would. Hopefully you should start getting Bai Zhan documents done on Bai Zhan instead of An Ding.” Shen Qingqiu walked over to the door as well, opening it softly instead. “I have some research to do so I’ll be leaving as well. Don’t forget our deal A-Lei.” And with that Shang Qinghua was once again alone with Binghe. 

He sighed and held up his son. Binghe’s deep black eyes stared into his soul. It was calming. 

“Well now Xiao-Bingbing, how about dinner?” Binghe made a sound in response. It sounded almost like an agreement. Shang Qinghua took it as a yes and the two of them got ready for the end of the day, at least for Binghe. Shang Qinghua still had all his paperwork to make for.

Chapter Text

Shang Qinghua sat awkwardly holding Binghe in his lap. He was stuck in between two ice queens. His king sat glaring at Shen Qingqiu while Shen Qingqiu sat with his fan obscuring his face. 

When he had first explained that Shen Qingqiu not only knew of being him being a spy but also that he wanted to talk with him. Mobei-Jun had frowned and started growling and huffing like an offended cat. But luckily he calmed down. And now here they were. United through a love of Binghe (it was really a love of Shang Qinghua but he’s a dense idiot when it comes to himself and his relationships). 

“Soooo, here we are.” He awkwardly laughed and shifted his weight. Shang Qinghua, Binghe, and Shen Qingqiu were sitting on his bed while Mobei-Jun stood, refusing to sit down somewhere. 

“Hmm yes, so you’re the new Mobei-Jun. I expected you to be older.” Shen Qingqiu snapped his fan open and glared over it. 

Mobei-Jun in all his etiquette, growled. It helped serve as a reminder that this man wasn’t a human. As if the pointed ears, fangs, blue tinted skin, and ice like horns didn’t confirm it. 

“Are you not supposed to be the future strategist of Cang Qiong? You seem rather stupid to arrange a meeting with me, what are you trying to accomplish?” He sniffed and the temperature fluctuated. Shen Qingqiu didn’t even flinch at it. Man had balls of steel. 

“As I told A-Lei ,” Mobei-Jun frowned at the nickname “I wish to know whether you are a threat to him and Binghe. I understand that casual violence is accepted and expected in your culture, but A-Lei is a human. He isn’t built to be thrashed around casually. Binghe is also an infant, even more fragile. You have a track record of breaking and hurting my friend so my hesitancy towards letting you have a role in my Shizhi’s life is understandable.” Mobei-Jun blinked a few times, a mildly confused look adorned his face. 

“ Qinghua is a cultivator. He is stronger than normal humans.” He nodded alone with his logic. Shang Qinghua felt a shiver go down his spine. He was most likely going to be dragged into a passive aggressive argument, wasn’t he. 

Shen Qingqiu let out a possibly feral hiss, sounding very demonic, and smacking his fan closed. “ A-Lei , still doesn’t have the bone structure of a high leveled demon, your majesty. He is a human and as such has human bones. You push too hard and you will snap his wrist, which you have done before!” 

Binghe let out a soft cry at the sound of someone yelling. Mobei-Jun leaned over and handed the baby a ring of ice the size of Shang Qinghua’s hand. Binghe happily took it and started chewing on it best he could with no teeth. 

“ Qinghua ,” were they having a fight over his name? “healed. He is fine.” Mobei-Jun nodded again. Shang Qinghua started mentally berating himself for not giving his favorite character more brains. Shen Qingqiu seemed to be in the same thought process. 

“He healed incorrectly in some places because he couldn’t visit Qian Cao for them. Why? Because he couldn’t explain why every week he was magically getting his wrists broken!” Shen Qingqiu was starting to lose his mind and what little composer he swore he would have for the demonic royalty. 

“H-hey I’m fine now so everything is fine. This is supposed to be about Binghe not me and I’m fine. I can still use my wrists. Just gets stiff when it’s about to rain!” Shang Qinghua nervously, headbutting into the arguement. He held his left wrist up, which was his king's preferred wrist to snap, and swiveled it. “See it works fine!” Binghe garbled the best he could with a chunk of ice in his infant mouth. 

“That isn’t a good thing A-Lei.” Shen Qingqiu rubbed his forehead, already tired of dealing with idiots and not even an sichen in. “All I want is confirmation that you won’t hurt A-Lei anymore. And that you will never harm Luo Binghe. If you do, I will personally chop you up and throw you into the closest volcano.” 

Mobei-Jun stared at the green covered head disciple. He grunted in agreement. “Fine. I will treat Qinghua and his son as carefully as I am able to.” Shang Qinghua felt his heart do a gymnastics routine, which probably wasn’t healthy, at his king’s words. He isn’t gonna hurt me anymore?! And he agreed so easily?! Just what magic Powers does Shen Qingqiu have!

Shen Qingqiu noticed his happier expression and something flashed in his eyes. Was it pride? Anger? Happiness? Shang Qinghua didn’t know and he was too afraid to ask. 

Mobei-Jun shifted his weight and glared at him. Shang Qinghua felt nervous again. Hopefully his king actually went along with the agreement and didn’t get too angry at the loss of his punching bag. “Thank you my king for your unending kindness.” He suddenly realized demons weren’t supposed to be kind and he might have just insulted his king. 

Mobei-Jun grunted. He didn’t seem offended so Shang Qinghua got to live another day. Shen Qingqiu however looked like a pissed off house cat. Clearly something wasn’t going as he wanted. 

“A-Lei, please leave the room with Binghe. I wish to have a word with Mobei-Jun in private.” The future peak lord, baby half demon, and demon lord all looked at the prissy man with confusion. My villain son, just what are you planning? Don’t tell me you are seriously going to join the demons. If you do, the cultivation word stands no chance against your mind. 

“Mmm, Qinghua leave.” Shang Qinghua felt his eyes widen at his king's statement. He was very worried and confused over what they would talk about. And why he had to leave. 

He stood up quickly and looked between the two of them, both looking cold and pissed off. “Uhm okay, just don’t break anything and uhm don’t take too long. Binghe does need to go to bed soon.” And me as well, this day has been way too stressful to manage on four hours of sleep. 

He then slowly skittered out of the room and closed the door. As soon as his bedroom door closed, he noticed that Shen Qingqiu activated yet another silencing talisman. This was very suspicious. 

“Ahblaphta.” Baby Binghe cooed. He was still clutching the ice ring and drooling all over it. He looked absolutely adorable in his soft yellow baby robes. Shang Qinghua felt yet another adorable baby arrow hit his heart. His son's face really was a weapon of mass destruction. It even temporarily distracted him from the fact that Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun were locked in his bedroom probably screaming at eachother. 

He sat down at his desk and played with Binghe’s hair. It had grown quite rapidly and it concerned him a little. He decided to just chalk it up to magic protagonist powers instead of going to Mu-Shidi or Shu-Shishu. They would either laugh at him panicking or poke around Binghe and accidentally find his seal. Luckily, according to Mobei-Jun, it had fully solidified and was hidden quite well. 

Luo Binghe, unaware of his seal or his demonic heritage, seemed content with his adoptive father playing with his hair. So much so he started to fall asleep. His large black eyes drooping shut and his new ice ring falling out of his mouth. Shang Qinghua felt a small squeal escape him at the sight. He held a new appreciation for babies falling asleep since he had experienced fatherhood. 

His mind wandered back over to the door. He really did need to put Binghe to bed. Shang Qinghua didn’t know what was so important that he couldn’t be in the room as they spoke to each other. If it had to do with betraying the sect, he was doing that already. If it was about Binghe, then he should also be there. But they had already spoken about Binghe and how he would be treated so it couldn’t be that. 

His mind started running and jumping through hoops as he tried to rationalize what they were talking about. But nothing his mind conjured made sense or fit completely. He knew Shen Qingqiu enjoyed privacy and secrecy but he had told Shang Qinghua everything about his past (Shang Qinghua already knew it but having his scum villain son with trust issues tell him really made him feel appreciated and cared for). 

Did Shen Qingqiu no longer trust him? 

Before his brain could go down that hole of depression and self worth issues, the wards were lowered and Shen Qingqiu came out. His face was stuck in a ‘I’m pissed at the world and will kill you if you speak to me’ face while Mobei-Jun just looked…normal. Which meant no expression present except for the furrowed brow that conveyed disappointment. A common expression Shang Qinghua got from him being a mediocre spy and overall annoying. 

“Oh you’re done already?” He nervously fiddled with the edge of Binghe’s clothes. The baby conveniently was sleeping through whatever drama was going to happen. 

Shen Qingqiu sniffed with a large amount of disdain and annoyance before just leaving. No goodbye, no mild threat, not even a wave. Did Shang Qinghua do something wrong? He felt something inside of him break a little. Was the conversation actually about him? Did his king say something about him that made Shen Qingqiu hate him? Did Shen Qingqiu always hate him? 

“-inghua, are you listening to me?” His king snapped him out of his thoughts and brought him back to reality. His king was staring down at him looking even more disappointed. 

“Y-yes?” He felt the urge to bury himself alive. 

“Good, I’ll be leaving now. Try not to kill Luo Binghe.” And with that Mobei-Jun left. Leaving Shang Qinghua and his feelings of inadequacy alone. 

He sat there for a moment, pondering if he made a mistake. Shang Qinghua shook his head trying to clear out his depressing thoughts and focus on an upside. His king would no longer hurt him! But now Shen Qingqiu was possibly ignoring him. 

“No Shen-Shixiong wouldn’t do that. He trusts me. If he truly hated me he wouldn’t have told me anything.” He whispered to the sleeping baby in his arms. He stood up and went to his room. It was luckily still in one piece with no signs of a fight. Shang Qinghua tucked Binghe in his crib, the baby twitching a bit at the loss of warmth. He looked so innocent just laying there. 

But what if I ruin him? I’m no kind washerwoman. What if I make him worse for wear and he ends up with no happy childhood? What if he hates me? What if he leaves me as well? Shang Qinghua took a sharp breath and tried not to start crying. He couldn’t start crying now, he had to be strong. Luo Binghe would have nothing to base his parenting off of since he was the only infant on the mountains, and he would be a great dad! 

He knew what not to do with kids since he had the experience of growing up twice. He knew not to ignore him or use him as an emotional barrier. He knew not to blame him for a divorce and that he shouldn’t push him aside for his half siblings. He knew to keep in contact and check with him to make sure he’s still alive. He knew not to abandon him. 

Shang Qinghua fell back into his bed, silently crying. Great, now he was remembering his first childhood and how shitty it was. His second childhood was better simply because he was an adult in a child’s body. He already knew not to place his hope in parents that didn’t love him. He let out a choked sob as he remembered his first father telling him he was a worthless leach who served no purpose and was simply a reminder of a broken marriage. That he was useless and that no one ever had or ever will love him. His mind morphing it to be Shen Qingqiu and the rest of his martial siblings screaming those words at him. 

He curled into himself, muffling his sobs so Binghe didn’t hear and wake up. He couldn’t deal with two people crying. He started to calm down enough that he could take the pillow away from his mouth. He was fine, everything was fine . 

Shang Qinghua pulled his blankets up and sighed. He had flipped out over a single thing. He was a mess. Shen Qingqiu was probably just mad at Mobei-Jun and just forgot to not take his anger out on others. He wasn’t abandoned or hated. Everything was fine. 

He kept repeating that to himself as he fell into a fitful sleep. 

~~~~~~

The next day, Shen Qingqiu showed up and apologized for his behavior. When Shang Qinghua asked him about what he had talked about, Shen Qingqiu brushed it off and said it didn’t matter. 

Shang Qinghua was still suspicious but he figured that when Shen Qingqiu was ready to tell him, he would. A small voice whispered that he wouldn’t because Shang Qinghua was a double crossing bastard and no one would ever truly trust him. He ignored that voice in favor of talking about Binghe. 

Said child had been incredibly fussy and refused his usual toys. After the two of them spent a few hours trying to figure out what he wanted, they discovered that he wanted his ice ring. The ice ring had unfortunately melted. So they had to deal with a screaming Binghe. His precious son was starting to learn that if he was miserable he could make everyone else miserable. Perhaps he was spending too much time with Shen Qingqiu. Luckily he had eventually calmed down and was satisfied with a chunk of ice that was frozen with a talisman. Crisis averted. 

The weeks went by and Mobei-Jun had a schedule of stopping by twice a week and spending that entire time staring at Binghe. It was slightly unnerving, especially when Binghe just stared back. Perhaps it was a secret demon communication technique. Shen Qingqiu had said he was just being paranoid and stupid. 

Shen Qingqiu had also continued with stopping by nearly every day and as such interacted with Mobei-Jun. It was so tense, Shang Qinghua could cut it with a knife. The two seemed to have a private fight over who Baby Bingbing liked more. It was extremely entertaining for Shang Qinghua, who got to take naps and focus on work when the two of them were both going above and beyond to be the favorite uncle. (Liu Qingge, much to his disappointment, was only an honorable mention). 

Between dealing with that and paperwork, Luo Binghe’s 100 day celebration came up on him by surprise. Gao Mingxing simply showed up and simply told when and where to go. He then gave him a special package for his little grandson. Shang Qinghua wanted to bury himself in a hole. Or have the system kill a few of his brain cells. 

[ Don’t disparage host! This System supports and stands by you with 24/7 service! ] 

Shang Qinghua wanted to punch it. 

When the day of the celebration arrived, he had immediately gotten Binghe cleaned up and wearing his new robes that Gao Mingxing had gotten him. The two of them then sat around playing and relaxing until noon. Then the two of them headed off for the party. 

It took place on An Ding and would host a large swath of cultivators from Cang Qiong. His Shifu had been kind enough to listen to his suggestion of keeping it in house. He was glad for that since it meant keeping Binghe away from the palace master. 

The Palace Master in his original story had noticed Luo Binghe at the Immortal Alliance conference but because of the whole abyss mess, didn’t get to sink his claws in until Luo Binghe came back and married his daughter. All of it being a ploy to keep his ‘beloved’ head disciples son close by. 

Shang Qinghua shivered at the idea of the old man pulling strings to snatch his son away. The fool had been willing to poison Su Xiyan without remorse to kill Luo Binghe, then what was stopping him from snapping the baby’s neck or worse…

So overall keeping Luo Binghe sheltered and squirreled away from other sects was a good call. It also decreased chances of his seal going poof. 

The hall had been done up in bright red and An Ding's yellow orange. It was lit up by floating golden lights and a few of his Shidi and Shimei were setting up tables. From the sounds of the kitchen on his way here, the tables would be overflowing with food. 

Binghe was sitting in his sling and looking up at the decorations with wide eyes. Everything was bright and shiny, perfect for the baby half demon. He gurgled and reached out to grab a light orb but it floated away before he could hold it. 

“Ah the guest of honor is finally here!” Gao Mingxing came out from somewhere with his arms wide open. He crushed Shang Qinghua in a hug, being careful to not crush Binghe, before snatching the child from his sling. 

The Qian Cao peak lord came up to them from a similar direction and was smiling fondly at his Shifu holding the baby. Shang Qinghua would bet money that his Shifu was cultivation partners with her. They were a bit too touchy and were constantly by each other. 

“Shifu please don’t rile Binghe up too much. He just ate.” Shang Qinghua’s warning met deaf ears as the Peak Lord chuckled and bounced Binghe animatedly. 

“He’ll be fine, my grandson is a strong boy. Takes after his Yeye.” Gao Mingxing chuckled and kissed the baby on his head. Shang Qinghua let out a defeated sigh. Shu Mingcao gave him a pat on the back and an encouraging smile. 

“How have you been doing? Any problems with the pills or concerns over Xiao-Bingbing?” Her eyes twinkled with something as she watched Binghe giggle louder. 

“Ah no, me and Binghe are fine. I do have a question though,” he bit his lip a bit embarrassed “Binghe’s hair isn’t growing too quickly right?” His hair was currently fluffed up around his ears and when pulled straight went to his cheek. 

Shu Mingcao hummed a bit, scrutinizing the small child. “It is longer than most, but it is hardly anything to worry about. Consider it a good sign that his hair is healthy.” Gao Mingxing at that moment had attracted a large number of the An Ding disciples and was showing off his so-called grandson. They had all seen Binghe but the novelty of a new baby hadn’t worn off yet. The current youngest disciple was 13 since the peak lords would ascend soon. Only three more years before he would be peak lord and would have to deal with all that paperwork. 

“That’s good. Good that he’s healthy.” He muttered. Completely enraptured by how easily everyone fell for Binghe. His son truly was talented. 

[ +30 points for completing quest ‘fatherly pride’ ] 

The system was once again ignored. 

“Don’t tell me you are wearing that to your son's 100 days ceremony?” Shen Qingqiu had appeared out of the shadows, making Shang Qinghua jump. You would think he would be used to it after knowing the man for five years. Sometimes it still surprises him that Shen Qingqiu was chosen to be a peak lord after only five years in the sect. He had mastered nearly everything in Qing Jing in that time. Truly a master. 

Shang Qinghua looked down at his robes. They were a regular pair of his head disciple robes but clean. “Uuuh yes?” He looked up at Shen Qingqiu who was glaring at the robes. He looked ready to burn them. 

“Shu-Shishu, would you keep an eye on Binghe for a short while?” Shen Qingqiu bowed slightly to the chuckling peak lord. 

“Of course Shen-Shizhi, please fix Shang-Shizhi’s fashion choices.” She waved them off and walked over to the baby and his fan club. Shen Qingqiu took the opportunity to yank Shang Qinghua to his leisure house. 

Once there he was shoved into his room and his closet thrown open. “Do you have any ceremonial outfits?” Shen Qingqiu pulled out the regular robes and tossed them on the floor haphazardly. Shang Qinghua felt a pang of sympathy for his clothing. 

“Yeah, I have one that I use for banquets. But why does it matter? It’s just Binghe’s 100 day ceremo-“ he was cut off by a robe smacking him in the face. He heard a noncommittal sound and things being thrown stop. 

The cloth was removed from his face and Shen Qingqiu’s shining green eyes were narrowed at him. He felt an incoming lector. “Would you rather everyone think you are weak? If you wear your everyday robes, they will believe you don’t care. You have to dress up to make them believe you are managing this on your own and you are thriving. Don’t show them any weakness. Now go put these on while I find some jewelry in this mess.” His arms were shoved full of clothing and was pushed to the bathroom while Shen Qingqiu glared at the clothing on the ground. It almost looked like he was disappointed in them. 

Shang Qinghua quickly changed into the albeit nicer robes and fumbled with his hair tie. Some of his hair had slipped from the bun and now needed to be fixed. He stepped out while trying to tame it. He froze when he found Shen Qingqiu glaring daggers at his jewelry box. 

“Why are there so many silver and blue earrings?” Shen Qingqiu glared at him accusingly. 

“Oh those, I'm just looking over those for my king. My king sometimes flings his old jewelry here and I’ve tried to give it back but he didn’t accept it. He probably keeps it here since sometimes he sleeps over and he might want to change up his jewelry.” Shang Qinghua snatched the box back and buried it under some scrolls. He then pulled out a much smaller box which housed his actual jewelry and hair pins. “We can use the ones from here.” He chirped enthusiastically. Shen Qingqiu cared a great deal about his appearance so having him dress him up meant Shang Qinghua would not look like a frumpy hamster. 

Shen Qingqiu smiled with glee at the small box but his expression cracked as he looked at what he had. “Is this it?” 

“Uh yes? I don’t wear jewelry a lot. Earnings are the main thing I wear since they are easier to work with.” He fidgeted with his robes. Shen Qingqiu sighed and took out a pair of dangly gold earrings (Shen Qingqiu gave them to him last year for his birthday) and a gold hair pin (also from Shen Qingqiu). He then pushed Shang Qinghua into his chair and yanked out his bun so harshly he yelped. 

“Well then, looks like I have to make up for it then.” With a malicious grin he took a comb out of his sleeve. Do you always carry a comb with you Shen-Shixiong? Shen Qingqiu then began to brush his hair out.

Shang Qinghua stayed quiet and tried not to move. It was a little embarrassing that Shen Qingqiu was treating him like a little kid. 

“Shen-Shixiong, you don’t have to brush my hair. I can just put it in a bun.” He yelped as a knot was unceremoniously yanked out.

“You are not going to sport a ratty bun at your little beasts ceremony. So hold still and let me make you look nice enough for the vultures.” He hissed the last bit and his brushing got violent again. If this was how he always brushed his hair then it was a wonder that Shen Qingqiu still had hair. “Now where are your hair oils?” 

“In the box near the mirror.” He mumbled a bit as Shen Qingqiu glided into his bathroom and left it holding a vial of his hair oils. It was scented with hyacinths since it was Shang Qinghua’s favorite flower. A few of his fans caught onto this fact after he created hundreds of different types in his story. He tried to grow some once in his old life but failed since his small window didn’t give them enough sunlight. Maybe he could try again. 

Shen Qingqiu began methodically massaging it into his scalp and hair. It was quite calming. Shang Qinghua felt himself falling asleep. As his mind started blurring Shen Qingqiu smacked his head lightly. 

“Ooooow A-Jiu~” Shang Qinghua whined, reaching up to rub his head. Shen Qingqiu scoffed and swatted his hand away. 

“Stop falling asleep and whining. It’s embarrassing.” He grumbled tugging his hair. Shang Qinghua sat confused on what he was doing before he realized that his friend was doing a sort of French braid in his hair. The braid was only for the top half of his hair and stopped before turning into a small bun. Shen Qingqiu grabbed the golden pin and slid it in place. He stood back and helped Shang Qinghua up. 

“A-Jiu, my hair looks amazing.” He gasped as he saw himself in his mirror. It was a style he never wore but it complemented his frizzy locks and actually accentuated them. He turned around and hugged him. “Thank you.” 

Shen Qingqiu froze for a second before lightly patting his back. “It’s nothing.” They remained hugging for a bit longer. Shen Qingqiu then pushed them away from one another and coughed. His fan once more appeared. “Don’t forget to put on the earrings. They’ll stand out more.” He mumbled the last bit before swiftly disappearing out his door. 

Shang Qinghua sighed at his scum villains inability to take an actual compliment. He stood still for a bit watching the door before snapping out of it and grabbing the earrings. 

After they were in his ears, stabbing them a few times trying to find the exit hole. He left his leisure house and speed walked to the hall. When he got there the tables were now all set up and a few snacks and drinks were out. It was mostly An Ding disciples but a few from Qiong Ding and Qing Jing were already there. The rest of the peaks wouldn’t arrive until later. 

“Oh there’s your father Xiao-Bingbing.” Someone cooed behind him. Shang Qinghua turned, the earrings lightly smacking his cheek, and saw his Shifu waving Binghe’s hand at him. Binghe looked done with everything. When he saw Shang Qinghua however, he started wiggling excitedly. Shang Qinghua giggled a bit and walked over to them. 

“Hello Binghe, did you have fun with Yeye?” Yes Shang Qinghua had finally accepted the name since his Shifu refused to answer to anything else. Binghe wiggled some more until Shang Qinghua got the memo and held him. 

Gao Mingxing chuckled tand pinched the baby’s cheek. The baby frowned. “Yes he did. I was worried for a bit when you had vanished but Mingcao told me that Shen-Shizhi dragged you off to get a makeover.” He grinned oddly at the last sentence. 

“Yeah Shen-Shixiong Just didn’t want me to look like the usual grimy rodent I am. Would be embarrassing if the rest of the peaks saw who he associated with.” He laughed a bit trying to get it to seem more like a joke. Gao Mingxing simply frowned a little. 

“If you say so A-Lei. Anyway, let's go sit down. People will start arriving soon and I don’t want to hog you all to myself. Although I wouldn’t mind keeping Bingbing to myself.” He smiled again, pinching Binghe’s toes a little. Binghe gargled and tried to kick his face. He failed and simply made his Yeye laugh more. 

Chapter Text

The father and son duo were led to the front of the hall. They sat down at the seat of honor, with Binghe not being impressed in the slightest. He was fidgeting and making fussy noises. 

“Shhh Binghe, relax.” Shang Qinghua whispered, turning him around and bouncing him. Binghe was now about three months old and had mastered holding his head up. He had also reached the ‘I must grab and eat everything shiny’ stage so his eyes immediately went towards Shang Qinghua’s earrings. 

“Blarghaga.” He reached out and tugged it. Shang Qinghua hissed and untangled his hands. 

“Ah don’t tug my earrings please. That really fucking hurts.” He grumbled and handed him a stand of hair instead. Binghe tugged it but the length made it more bearable. Baby Binghe then stuck it in his mouth. 

“Don’t teach him bad habits Shang-Shidi.” Yue Qingyuan walked over to them with his ever present smile. He pulled the strand of hair out of the kid’s mouth and poked his cheek. “He’s already getting so big. It’s so good to see him healthy.” 

Baby Binghe made an angry noise at the loss of his new toy. Shang Qinghua immediately caved and gave him the hair again. “Yeah but it’s keeping him from flipping the fuck out.” He unconsciously murmured. 

Yue Qingyuan looked at him with shock for a moment. He had never heard Shang Qinghua curse before so him doing it around a child was even more surprising. 

“Shang-Shidi you also shouldn’t curse around him, what if he learns something bad?” Shang Qinghua just gave him a tired look. Do I look like I give shit about a cursing baby? It would be funny as fuck Yue-Shixiong. 

“He won’t remember anything anyway. I should curse all I want before he turns a year old. That’s when babies start speaking comprehensively.” He explained after the sect leader gave another confused look. God he was surrounded by idiots. 

“Yue-Shixiong, so glad you could join us.” And here comes the hissing pissed off cat, Shen Qingqiu. He slid up from behind Shang Qinghua and set a hand on his shoulder. Shang Qinghua looked at it before looking up at him and noticing he also did an outfit change. For some ungodly reason. 

Shang Qinghua could see behind his fan and the angry grimace it hid. Shen Qingqiu got extremely defensive of Luo Binghe around Yue Qingyuan and as such Luo Binghe had probably also picked up on it. He threw up on Yue Qingyuan the first time he held him. Binghe really did have a shit list already. 

“Xiao-Jiu, how are you doing?” The green clad man started crushing Shang Qinghua’s shoulder. 

“My name is Shen Qingqiu not Xiao-Jiu.” He gritted out. His jaw looked ready to break. “And I would do much better if you went and fucked off to a corner somewhere.” Ooooh Shen Qingqiu was really really not in the mood for Yue Qingyuan. Shang Qinghua bit the inside of his cheek to try and not say something or laugh. 

Yue Qingyuan made another kicked puppy face and nearly started pouting. The future sect leader of Cang Qiong pouting. “I-I sorry X…Shen-Shidi.” Shang Qinghua winced at his near miss. Shen Qingqiu also didn’t miss it. 

“This is supposed to be a happy evening for A-Lei and Binghe. Don’t go ruining it with your bullshit.” His sneer grew and his eyes sharpened. Yue Qingyuan gaped at Shen Qingqiu’s use of Shang Qinghua’s birth name. He then gave his equivalent of a frown, which was a small but pulled smile, to Shang Qinghua and Binghe. 

Don’t look at me like that! I’m not to blame for your disastrous relationship….well kinda but I’m trying to actually help him, you enabler. Shen Qingqiu picked up on this silent conversation and fucking gowled a bit. What the fuck. 

Yue Qingyuan gave a small bow and ran away with his tail between his legs. Shang Qinghua was then left with the antsy baby and his best friend who was now an actual cat. Do cats even growl? 

“Uuuh Shen-Shixiong, you don’t think you overdid it a little?” He glanced over at Shen Qingqiu who was now facing him, rapidly fanning himself. It seemed like he was trying to fan away his bad mood. 

Shen Qingqiu blinked slowly at him and moved his hand from his shoulder to Binghe’s forehead. He rested it on top of the baby’s head and Binghe didn’t seem that mad about it. 

“I was not overreacting. I was simply ensuring that this day is not ruined by pathetic fools.” He moved his hand back to his side and stared down Shang Qinghua. He had just realized that Shen Qingqiu had dark green kohl under his eyes, accentuating their bright color. 

“I-uh I mean, I like your uhm under eye. It makes your eyes uhm really stand out. It looks really good on you.” He stammered like a fool as Shen Qingqiu kept staring. It was a little unnerving, no it was very unnerving. Please spare this lowly author. 

“Thank you.” He flicked his fan closed and slid it into his belt. Shen Qingqiu then snatched Binghe from Shang Qinghua’s arms. “I have a present for him but it will have to wait for the end of the festivities.” 

Shang Qinghua perked up, snapped out of his…panic? What present was so important that it couldn’t be presented to the public? Aha! It was probably hand made by Shen Qingqiu and he was nervous and self conscious. He smiled a little, imagining his friend blushing in front of everyone showing off something he made himself. So cute! 

“Are you done daydreaming? You and the little beast should say hello to your guests.” He sniffed and glared at the, now arriving, guests. The other peaks clothing created a large cacophony of color. 

“Yeah we should probably do that. But I am worried that Binghe will start crying. He hasn't been too happy about being poked and handed around like a bag of rice.” Binghe gave a small whimper and buried himself into Shen Qingqiu’s robes. He didn’t seem to like the greeting plan as well. Thankfully. 

“Hmm, just use it as an excuse to leave early. Most everyone is here simply to take a break and get drunk. Gao-Shishu already seems a few bottles in with how…affectionate he is acting.” 

“A-Jiu!” Shang Qinghua smacked his arm a bit, giving a scandalized gasp. He looked over at his Shifu who had moved over to the door and was hugging every disciple who had the misfortune of passing in front of him. While his Shifu treated every An Ding disciple like his new kid, he often remained aloof to the rest of the peaks due to the abuse they gave his ‘darling babies’. 

“What! He has hugged five, FIVE, Bai Zhan disciples. I’ve only ever seen him touch one of them to threaten them.” Shen Qingqiu gestured to a small group of traumatized Bai Zhan disciples, one was crying about being shown affection. God all these kids are so touch starved. 

“Well he acts like that around the An Ding disciples everyday. He’s just…spreading his need to be seen as a fatherly figure.” He grimaced at Gao Mingxing giving Liu Qingge a soul crushing hug. Shen Qingqiu laughed at the sight. 

“We should be worried about an influx of disciples switching over to An Ding if that’s the case.” 

“Oh, are you thinking of switching for hugs from Gao-Shifu?” He giggled and poked his Shixiong. 

“I would switch over to An Ding if it meant hugs from you.” Shen Qingqiu kept a straight face while Shang Qinghua started blushing. 

“Yeah well, if you want hugs you can just ask. You're my best friend, no need to jump over to An Ding forever.” He half muttered to himself, picking with the hem of his sleeve. “You would absolutely hate it here, way too much paperwork as you’ve seen.” Was he blushing again? God damn you Shen Qingqiu for being an asshole . 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He whispered back. Shang Qinghua looked back up at him and found him staring again. He opened his mouth to say something but Binghe kicked his jaw. 

“Ah shit, Binghe! That actually hurt.” He rubbed his chin and glared at the baby. Said baby squirmed in his Shibo’s grasp and whined. He then started smacking his mouth. Damn this kid's unending stomach. “Really Binghe? I fed you not long ago.” He scooped him up and started walking over to one of the convenient storage rooms hidden by hanging decorations. 

Once finished he slipped back to the party. He was immediately seen with Binghe and dragged off. All the other head disciples, except Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu, started crowding around him and cooing at how cute Binghe was. Binghe did not appreciate that in the slightest and started sniffling. 

“Okay everyone back up, you’re scaring him.” Shang Qinghua shooed them away and sat back down in their seat, free for a short while. His Shifu, very evidently drunk, started talking to him about mold infestation. Shang Qinghua found himself nodding along as his Shifu ranted about unsafe molds. He wanted to run far away from this party. Maybe he should have just asked for an An Ding only party. With maybe the other head disciples to not seem rude. 

Luo Binghe gargled and smacked his arms around. He was still not enjoying his time here, at all. “Hush little lord, just get through some presents and dinner. Then we can go home and take a nice warm bath and you can sleep.” Binghe calmed down hearing his voice but still kicked his feet. 

Shang Qinghua was slightly worried he might try crawling soon with how fast he was catching on. Shu-Shishu had said that most babies begin speaking at one year old, but Binghe seemed to know his name and he could swear he heard him trying to say ‘Baba’ once. 

“Oh is my little grandson getting cranky~” Gao Mingxing tickled Binghe’s feet. Binghe tried to kick him. “Oh Mingcao, could you get everyone sitting and food rolling? I would but everything is spinning a bit.” He leaned over on Shu Mingcao’s shoulder and kissed her cheek. Shu Mingcao was sitting where Shang Qinghua’s mother would have sat. Yeah those two were definitely an item. 

Shu Mingcao sighed and felt his meridians before pushing him back up. She then shot an exasperated look at Shang Qinghua. He in turn tried to shoot back a ‘He’s been stressed lately let him relax I guess’. She took a small bell from Gao Mingxing’s sleeve. She gave it a small ring but it echoed out in the hall and everyone stopped and looked over at her. 

“Greetings guests, I will take over as lead host for the rest of the evening.” She glanced down at the drunk peak lord beside her. A few people giggled. “Now let’s all sit and enjoy the food and festivities in honor of Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua’s son.” She smiled and gave a small bow to the two of them. Shang Qinghua smiled back and bowed, he then grabbed Binghe’s hands and attempted to make him bow a little. More people giggled 

“We are both humbly honored to have these celebrations. Please enjoy yourselves and relax.” Shang Qinghua spoke up and bowed to the rest of the gathering. Standard ‘thanks for coming’. 

Everyone then started to find their seats. 

The Peak Lords sat towards his right, near Gao Mingxing and Shu Mingcao. The only ones in attendance were Jin Mingbao, An Minghai, and Ni Mingshuo. Qiong Ding, Qing Jing, and Zui Xian. The others were keeping an eye on the other peaks since many disciples were at An Ding. 

To his left sat the head disciples. All of them were there. They sat in peak order starting with Yue Qingyuan and ending with Tan Qingkun. Shen Qingqiu looked pissed sitting near Yue Qingyuan but at least he wasn’t actively eviscerating him. The rest of the disciples sat further down all mixed together. This is probably just an excuse to get the other peaks to socialize. Shang Qinghua smirked into his cup of wine. He figured he deserved a few cups. He had a pretty good alcohol tolerance. 

Then food was brought out. 

God the food. 

This was why he stayed on An Ding and didn’t run for the hills. The system threatening him also had a hand in keeping him from raising Binghe in a small town and becoming a farmer. 

[ { >_< } Host please have mercy on the kindness of this system! ] 

While the other peaks often had bland but nutritious meals, An Ding had flavorful and nutritious meals. Since they dealt in trading and sourcing ingredients for food, they got first dibs on the spices. The other peaks also liked to pretend they were better than everyone, cough filthy mortals, so they had no need for spices. Shang Qinghua was convinced it was a plot to make all of them cultivate enough to practice enedia if only to escape bland congee and unseasoned pork. 

So Shang Qinghua happily dug into his perfectly spiced longevity noodles and sweet and sour pork bao. Binghe tried to grab one but he moved it away in time. “Nope, you're too young for this little one. When you start learning to chew.” He tapped his nose and shoved the bao in his mouth. Binghe gave him a truly betrayed look. 

Shang Qinghua stuck out his tongue. Binghe huffed and then stuck his out as well. Shang burst into laughter and Binghe smiled and giggled back. 

Binghe, now in a better mood, remained good throughout the meal. He even got a bit sleepy, leaning back and curling into Shang Qinghua’s arm. “Are you sleepy little lord?” Shang Qinghua brushed his cheek with his knuckle and got a sleepy whimper. “We still have presents to go through, or at least the ones from the peak lords.” Binghe opened his eyes a little and whined. He then turned around to burrow further in Shang Qinghua’s chest. 

“If he’s getting too sleepy we can start the gifts now.” Shu Mingcao leaned over and smiled. “I doubt anyone would care if we change the schedule.” Shang Qinghua nodded and helped set Binghe up in his lap again. The baby blinked slowly at the hall, barely awake. 

Shu Mingcao took out the bell again and rang it. Everyone stopped eating and stared at her. A few people even had the gall to look angry for the interruption. “We will be speeding along to the gifts from the other peaks now. Please do not rush your meal, the activities and food will continue on, but the baby is getting tired and will be retiring soon. Thank you.” She folded her hands on her lap and looked over to Jin Mingbao. The Sect Leader nodded and stood up. Yue Qingyuan followed her lead. 

The two of them stood in front of Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe’s table, bowing. “In honor of Luo Binghe, Qiong Ding Peak offers you this gift.” Jin Mingbao, in her imposing 201 centimeters, gestured towards Yue Qingyuan and the box he held. She then lifts its lid and pulls out a very flashy looking set of writing utensils. 

“The brushes are made of the hair of a Snow Snouted Hide Dog and the handle is cypress wood from a spiritually charged area of Qiong Ding. It is also inlaid with high quality amber, representing An Ding.” Yue Qingyuan walked up and handed it to Shu Mingcao. “May it help him with his advancement in writing and may he be as talented as Shang-Shidi.” 

Shang Qinghua gave an awkward smile trying to figure out if the last bit was a backhanded insult. His fancy writing looked nice, sure, but his quick notes were unreadable to everyone, including him sometimes. 

“This one thanks Yue-Shixiong and Jin-Zhangmen. Binghe will be sure to use this gift as he grows.” Binghe was currently drooling on his sleeve. Jin Mingbao and Yue Qingyuan then bowed again and sat down. Next came An Minghai and Shen Qingqiu, his bestie. 

“Qing Jing Peak presents these gifts in honor of Luo Binghe.” An Minghai glanced at her disciple and flicked open her own fan. Behind them a few Qing Jing disciples came forward holding books. Lots and lots of books. 

“We offer knowledge in the form of books. From gardening to war preparations, he will have a suitable library as he grows and expands his knowledge. He will be given a special token to all the libraries in Qing Jing when he is older so he may research whenever the feeling strikes him.” Shen Qingqiu smirked, not that you could tell, behind his own fan. 

Shang Qinghua felt his jaw drop. A few other disciples also whispered about it. The libraries on Qing Jing were probably one of the most locked down and protected areas in the whole of Cang Qiong. They would only allow disciples from other peaks in with certain permissions from their teachers and the Qing Jing Peak lord or hall masters. Binghe was basically told he could go in and take out the oldest book and no one would give a shit. Suffice to say, Binghe might take out some books for his dear old dad in the future. 

“Y-Your gift will help Binghe become better acquainted with our world and the secrets surrounding it. We thank you for your kindness.” He bowed as deep as he could. Binghe even gave a sleepy gurgle of acknowledgement. 

Next up was Wan Jian, Wei Qingwei gave Binghe a few high quality training swords as well as a book on black smithing. It was apparently extremely useful at putting even grown adults to sleep. An Ding was skipped since Gao Mingxing had apparently been so secretive about what he got, no one had any clue what it was and the man was passed out drunk. 

Qian Cao had then gifted them a large amount of healing herbs and a few teething objects. Xian Shu gave Binghe embroidered silk to use for

new outfits as he grew. Next Ku Xing gifted prayer beads, aka more teething toys, as well as a few blessings and protection charms. 

Zui Xian, surprised no one, with wine that had been brewed specially for Binghe, it was to be buried somewhere and unearthed when he turned 18. Bai Zhan gave a bestiary and a large handful of dragon teeth. Apparently to bring good luck and promote strength….fucking brutes. 

Just when he thought the worst was over, Yu Qingsi came slithering up with a mischievous grin. With her, a covered box. “Shou Kong Peak presents this gift to our first Shizhi.” She then took off the cover and held up a small white creature. It had a large round face and paws that were much too big for its body. Shang Qinghua felt himself die inside at the fact he was probably now a pet owner as well as a father and future Peak lord. “This is a Color Shifting Red Panda. It is a creature known to protect children and when it finds a child it resonates with, it’s color changes to match the child’s qi.” She then came up with the small creature and set it on their table. 

Shang Qinghua had written the creature for a more…wild human wife who had been abandoned as a child and raised by creatures. He thought wolves were overused for the trope, so he chose red pandas. Even though the pandas did not necessarily turn red. He also thought they were cute and wanted to throw them in his trash book. 

Binghe, who had been woken up by the protest of Zui Xian giving an infant alcohol, looked at it confused. The panda sniffed the air before pouncing onto Shang Qinghua’s lap and nuzzling Luo Binghe. The protagonist started laughing and holding the creature. As he did, it’s snow colored fur turned a dark crimson with pitch black markings. The only white it retained was a small patch on its chest. 

It chirped at Binghe before nestling against the baby and letting out a sort of purr. Shang Qinghua smiled at Yu Qingsi, exasperated at the fact he was totally now a pet owner. Why did his son have to connect with animals so well? Why did every living organism feel drawn to him? Why did his Shidi think this was a fun and okay idea? Did she not know how stressed he was?

“This one thanks Yu-Shidi and Shou Kong for the Color Shifting Red Panda. It will be treated with the utmost care and respect.” Shang Qinghua let the Panda sniff his hand before giving it a small pat. Okay it was fluffy, maybe it wasn’t too bad. 

“Of course, Color Shifting Red Pandas also only bond with a child once, so it will protect Luo Binghe until it dies. I also offer a small care guide.” She unceremoniously plopped down a not so small guide and patted Shang Qinghua on the head. She then skipped back to her seat. She really had no decorum. Maybe she was the one raised by wolves or, not actually red, red pandas. 

Ying Zi Peak afterwards gave Binghe a plethora of replicas of his favorite things. Including his plushy dog and a fan handle that was suspiciously close to one of Shen Qingqiu’s that Binghe routinely slobbered on. It wasn’t creepy at all. 

Mo Li luckily ended on a good note, a few jade talismans to protect him and an artifact that is said to bring good luck once touched. After all the peaks had presented their gifts, Shang Qinghua stood. 

“Thank you all for coming to my son's hundred days celebration. May you all be blessed with good fortune and luck.” Shang Qinghua gave a quick bow before booking it. He was finally fucking free. Now it would just be him, Binghe, Binghe’s new lifelong panda friend, and Shen Qingqiu……wait. 

Shang Qinghua froze in his tracks and turned to look at the other man in shock. Shen Qingqiu simply kept walking towards his leisure house. It suddenly hit him that he had been promised a special gift for Binghe. He silently followed pondering what it was again. 

“Stop thinking so hard, it’s annoying.” Shen Qingqiu gave him a deadpan glance. Before festering for Shang Qinghua to open the door. He fumbled a bit, holding a baby and red panda while opening a door was no easy task, before getting the door to open. He scurried inside and turned to see Shen Qingqiu pull a tied up scroll out of his sleeve. “Here.”

Shen Qingqiu froze before he could toss it, realizing that Shang Qinghua was occupied. “Uuuh I’ll go put Binghe to bed.” He opened the door to his bedroom and jumped a little. “Ah! My k-king! What are y-you doing here?” 

Mobei-Jun was sitting on his bed with his arms crossed and his eyes closed. He slowly opened them and just stared for a bit. “Hm.” He stood up and walked over towards the door. Shen Qingqiu at that moment grabbed Shang Qinghua’s shoulder, staring down Mobei-Jun with a strange intensity. 

“Yes, what are you doing here? You usually only show up two to three times a week. This makes four.” He sneered at the ice demon. The ice demon let out a deep rumble. Shang Qinghua froze, that sound usually came right before he got slapped around. 

“I-it’s okay Shen-Shixiong, my king is allowed to-to visit whenever he wants. Is there something I can do for you, my king?” He pushed Shen Qingqiu further behind him while trying to relay a warning glance. Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes at it. Why did they have to fight whenever they saw each other? This poor author just wants his crush/boss to get along with his best friend. 

“Hmph, it is Luo Binghe’s 100 days ceremony. I have brought…a gift.” He stopped his growling? Chuffing? Whatever, and took a box the size of Binghe’s body out of his sleeve. Probably magic. 

“O-oh thank you my king. I’ll open it after I put Binghe down for bed. Sooo please excuse me.” Shang Qinghua let a stiff smile grace his face. He hoped there wasn’t a corpse or body part in the box. Knowing demonic customs it just might be. 

Mobei-Jun moved back and watched Shang Qinghua scurry past him. His hair, for once, flowing openly behind him. It’s curls bounced softly as he reached to set the baby down. Both Mobei-Jun and Shen Qingqiu couldn’t stop from watching him. They then started glaring at each other when they noticed the other watching. 

Shang Qinghua stood up, the panda wrapped around his neck. Mobei-Jun looked at it confused. He had originally thought it was a stuffed toy. “Oh this is Binghe’s new……friend.” He pulled it off his neck and set it in a basket he used to hold Binghe when they had picnics outside. The panda curled up and promptly fell asleep. 

“I had one when I was young, my mother gave her to me. My uncle killed her because he said having feelings for other living beings made me weak.” He stood there nodding to himself. Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu just looked at him in shock. Does he really think that’s an okay story?! He makes it sound like he’s gonna kill it to teach a lesson as well. Shang Qinghua internally whined. He now cared about its life. Damnit the pet had worked its way into his heart with its soft irresistible fur! 

“That’s a fucking shitty story.” Shen Qingqiu snorted. He had taken to dropping his regal persona around Mobei-Jun and now opted for cursing like a sailor. Ah yes, the scum villains true colors. “Are you trying to make it seem like you’re going to kill it, dumbass.” Shen Qingqiu had the same thoughts as him. 

Mobei-Jun didn’t look particularly happy about being made fun of and sneered at. In fact he looked murderous. Shang Qinghua wanted to bury himself alive again. Maybe his system would let him transmigrate to another character, maybe if he’s lucky, a rice farmer. 

[ {>~<} Host, you’re so mean! -10 points ]

Fucking capitalism. 

“YOU HAD A PRESENT!” Shang Qinghua quickly jumped in between, his shout startling the other two men out of their fight. “Ahem, my king, you mentioned a present for Binghe? He’s sleeping now but tomorrow morning I’ll be sure to show him right away!” He bowed for added effect. 

Mobei-Jun silently handed over the box. It was made of a dark wood, engravings depicting snow and ice adorned it. Shang Qinghua carefully opened it. Inside were two ice rings. Each looked identical to the ones Mobei-Jun made for Binghe to chew. Carefully he picked them up. They were cold but not as cold as one would think ice would be. 

“They are enchanted to never melt or become too cold. It will help his teething.” His king grunted and looked towards Binghe. 

Shang Qinghua stared at the teething ice rings then his king then back again. He felt a small prickle of emotion in his eyes. “Thank my king. I’m sure Binghe will love them very much.” He grinned happily up at the ice demon, making his little pointed ears turn a darker blue. 

“Hmm useful, not entirely idiotic. Perhaps you do have a semblance of a brain.” Shen Qingqiu fucking gave Mobei-Jun a compliment. Shang Qinghua felt like this day was becoming stranger and stranger. He felt the urge to both laugh and cry. Maybe he would. “A-Lei, you still need to open my present to the little beast.” 

Shang Qinghua snapped his head up, most likely breaking his neck, the look at Shen Qingqiu and the scroll he dangled in his hand. “Oh, I almost forgot! Apologies Shen-Shixiong.” He went to take it but Shen Qingqiu grabbed his wrist and pulled him in. He stumbled forward and fell headfirst into Shen Qingqiu’s chest. 

“Didn’t you say I could get a hug whenever I wanted Shang-Shidi ?” Shang Qinghua looked up at Shen Qingqiu who was smirking deviously down at him. Shang Qinghua felt a spike in the temperature. His King was right there. His king was watching him get bullied. This was meant to embarrass him! Shen Qingqiu you spiteful little bastard! “You can consider it a payment for forgetting my gracious gift.” 

“Ugh, you're an evil little shit, you know that.” Shang Qinghua muttered before giving him a hug and stepping back. His face was bright red and he wanted to punch something. Maybe he should finally take Liu Qingge up on his offer to spar. 

“Heh, now open it.” 

He snatched the scroll, still grumbling, and unrolled it. Shang Qinghua froze for a bit before he felt his lip wobble. It was a painting of him and Binghe sitting under one of An Ding’s dogwood trees. It was extremely detailed and the branches of the tree seemed to move. “A-Jiu, it’s so pretty.” He sniffled and gave Shen Qingqiu a spine crushing hug (totally not revenge). 

“Gah! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!” Shen Qingqiu pushed him back and scoffed. His cheeks were dusted with pink. “Geez, do you have any shame?”

“You literally just tricked me into giving you a hug. Why are you moody? But I really do love the picture, you captured Binghe’s cuteness perfectly.” He stood back rubbing his eyes. He carefully rolled it back up and set it on his desk. Shang Qinghua then turned around and bowed to the other men. “Thank you both for the presents and for helping me with Binghe, it-it really means a lot to me.” 

He was now crying. Great. Both Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun now knew he was a crybaby (As if they both hadn’t seen him become a sobbing mess before). 

“Hmm, it is no problem.” Mobei-Jun nodded and looked at Shen Qingqiu awkwardly. He didn’t understand how to comfort crying people. Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. 

“Please, it’s the least I could do for you. Now we are both going to leave and you are going to bed. No working on paperwork or crying your heart out over some presents, you look pathetic.” Shang Qinghua stopped crying and glared. Here he was thinking Shen Qingqiu was finally opening up. 

“You're a jerk.” He mumbled. 

“Uh huh, go get ready for bed, I’ll make sure the walking ice block leaves.” Shen Qingqiu pushed him into the bathroom and slammed the door. Shang Qinghua stood awkwardly for a second before opening the door again to yell at Shen Qingqiu for bossing him around. 

“-I will set you on fire and throw you into a volcano if you keep…WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THE BATHROOM!” Shen Qingqiu spun around from where he had been threatening Mobei-Jun to scold Shang Qinghua. Shang Qinghua was stunned into silence. 

“What the hell are you doing? Why are you threatening him, didn’t you already threaten him enough?” 

“He is very mean.” The two turned to stare at Mobei-Jun. he was probably trying to look sad but instead just looked pissed. 

“Ah yes, me, the weak human bullying the future king of the northern desert.” Shen Qingqiu dryly said. 

Mobei looked down at him and scuffed. “You would bully a tree if it dared to grow in your path.” Was his king…joking? 

Shang Qinghua shook his head and started making shooing motions at them. “Okay stop right there, I’m tired. You can go back to talking about who’s the bully and who’s a stubborn bastard later.” Shen Qingqiu gave a noise of displeasure. “You can teleport away and you can go out the door. I’m tired, stressed, and just became a pet owner by surprise. I am also emotionally done and I can’t have you two trying to kill each other over Binghe, while he sleeps.” 

Shang Qinghua sighed and shook his head. He looked up and saw the other two looking at with varying degrees of shock. “Please?” He smiled awkwardly. Mobei-Jun grumbled in annoyance, patted Shang Qinghua’s head then teleported away. Shen Qingqiu froze for a moment, as if to say something, before snapping his fan open and leaving. As soon as he closed the door, Shang Qinghua fell onto the ground. 

He sprawled out and stared at the ceiling. He had just ordered his Shixiong and king around, and they listened! Just what was this strange day? Maybe he should retire? 

[ Host can’t retire! At least not until a hidden path is unlocked. {>wo} ] 

What! I can get off the peak lord path!

[ +100 points for completing ‘100 days celebration’, +10 points for completing ‘makeover montage’, +5 points for unlocking ‘jealous rival’, +20 points for unlocking ‘Childhood pet’, +30 points for ‘Shen Qingqiu character depth’, +30 points for ‘Mobei-Jun character depth’, +50 points for unlocking ‘he can boss me around ;)’. Keep up the good work host! ]

WHAT! 

Chapter Text

Shang Qinghua was fucked. He had been told Binghe wouldn’t crawl or sit up until he was six months old. This was a lie. 

Luo Binghe, in all his protagonist glory, had started teething, crawling, and sitting up between his fourth and fifth month of living. This meant he had a baby with painful teeth growing in, moving around. Moving around and trying to chew random objects. 

It was an endless nightmare that had been going on for a month. Binghe had decided that both his regular and magic ice teething rings were not good enough for him. But the ink blocks, brushes, and the table leg closest to the door (the other table legs weren’t good enough for him) were premium chewing material. 

He now had to constantly make sure his son didn’t poison himself on ink or naw his table leg into a splinter. It was horrid. To make matters worse, Binghe also enjoyed biting people. So Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu, who hadn’t managed to escape, had their arms covered in tiny teeth marks. Binghe had determined that Mobei-Jun wasn’t good chewing material and left him alone after a few preliminary bites. He wouldn’t have left a mark anyway with his weak baby jaw. 

His teething also meant Shang Qinghua had no feeling in his chest! He was about ready to shove congee down his son's throat in order to save his poor nipples. But Shu Mingcao had made it quite clear to wait until he was six months old. And he was actually going to follow her instructions. 

Shang Qinghua rubbed his face. Numbers had begun to merge into his brain and nothing made sense. He looked down at Binghe who smiled back up at him, tiny teeth poking out from his gums. 

“Would you like to do my paperwork little lord?” Shang Qinghua had started calling him that as a joke at first but it had quickly become Binghe’s nickname. Binghe laughed and reached up, grabbing at Shang Qinghua’s face. “Aww, you’re so cute when you behave.” 

Another downside of the baby protagonist, he cries. A lot. Usually whenever Shang Qinghua is too busy working to give him attention or someone comes in and starts demanding things. Luo Binghe really doesn’t like people raising their voices or slamming things. He’s a twitchy baby. 

“Ablagem.” Binghe looked back at the scroll and grumbled. He waved his hands around, slapping the paper before looking back up. 

Oh. Maybe he does want to ‘help’. Shang Qinghua grabbed one of his spare brushes and dipped it in a little bit of ink. He then pulled over a piece of paper and helped Binghe hold the brush. “Now just move the brush. Don’t push too hard or it could ruin the brush.” 

Binghe immediately made the brush slam hard I to the paper. Shang Qinghua winced and said a prayer for the demolished bristles. Binghe’s motor skills in his hands were still subpare, so his brush made weird jerky lines. Binghe spent the entire time ‘narrating’ his art. Pretty soon he had a mess of oversaturated paper and two little hands covered in ink. It was a masterpiece. 

“Are you going to become an artist little lord? If you keep this up, you’ll give your Shen-Shibo a run for his money.” Binghe giggled at the compliment and used his hands to smear ink on Shang Qinghua’s robes. “Why must you betray me like this, my son?” He took the brush away and bounced Binghe into the air. “Do you need a bath? You look like an ink monster, must this old master vanquish you using my magical cleaning talismans?” 

“You may need something stronger than that to clean up that little beast.” Shen Qingqiu had slipped in silently. He had very rudely asked for a token to his house in case there was an emergency and he couldn’t get it. Binghe, seeing one of his favorite people, wormed out of Shang Qinghua’s grip and crawled over. He grabbed the tall man’s robes, smearing ink all over them. “Filthy beast.” 

He still picked him up. 

“Yeah he’s a bit of a mess, but look at his artwork! He’s a natural.” Shang Qinghua gestured to the….art attempt made by the five, nearly six, month old. Shen Qingqiu looked at it with a mixture of disgust and confusion. He looked at the baby and wrinkled his nose. 

“Yes, a natural at ruining a good sheet of paper. Is that writing on the other side?” Shang Qinghua quickly slipped it over and saw that it indeed had writing on the back. Writing that was his weekly report to Gao Mingxing that he had finished after spending over five hours on it. He felt a bit of his soul leave him. “Tsk. Just tell Gao-Shishu that the little beast helped you with it. He’ll probably hang it up and worship it.” 

“No, I can't do that. This is actually important. Gods, why did I think it was a good idea grabbing a random paper?” 

[ Host wanted points from quest ‘little artist, big dreams’ for +10 points. Which host completed. ] 

Thank you for that reminder system. Still doesn’t help me. Shang Qinghua rubbed his eyes and let out a silent scream. He took a step back and sighed. “This is fine. I can fix this.” 

“Hmm would you like me to entertain Binghe for a while?” Shen Qingqiu gave him the most worried look he could manage (which meant a slight eyebrow scrunch and a slightly less impressive scowl). Shang Qinghua shook his head before nodding. 

“Yeah, That would actually save my life. He ate about half an hour ago and won’t need another for a few hours.” He sat back down trying to dry the mess on the back enough so he could flip it and try to salvage the other side. Shen Qingqiu hummed before fixing his grip on Binghe and walking out the door. 

Shang Qinghua was then left in the clutches of ruined paperwork. Oh joy. As if sensing his pain, Mobei-Jun stepped through his portal with a gust of wind that knocked over several scrolls. Shang Qinghua winced and prayed they missed the ink splotches. 

“Ah my king, is there anything I could help you with.” He gave the ice demon a tight and utterly fake smile. Mobei’s-Jun grunted before glaring at one of the said ink spots. 

“Where is your son?” 

“Oh Shen-Shixiong took him away a moment ago. I have to fix some of my work so he’s playing babysitter.” Shang Qinghua gestered to the ink soaked paper. Mobei-Jun had a look that almost resembled pity flash across his face. 

He then nodded and stomped off into the head disciple’s bedroom. Probably to take a nap or whatever the demon did in there. He wasn’t left wondering because Mobei-Jun returned with the box Shnag Qinghua stored the king's jewelry in. 

“Why don’t you wear them?” Shang Qinghua yelped a bit and scrambled to catch the box. Mobei-Jun coldly stared at him waiting for an answer. 

The mousey man stammered a bit trying to connect the dots. Jewelry from Mobei-Jun? Not wearing it? Mobei-Jun’s jewelry? Presents??? From Mobei-Jun?!?! 

“Aaaaaa what?” 

He gritted his teeth and seemed pained by having to explain. “You aren’t wearing the jewelry, why?” 

“Isn’t it your jewelry? Am I not looking after them for you?” Shang Qinghua yelped as the demon pulled him up, still clutching the box. Mobei-Jun opened it and pulled out a pair of sapphire earrings. He then pulled his ear and basically stabbed them into his holes. 

“AAAAAH!” 

“Stop screaming.” Mobei-Jun released his ears and stepped back looking like a pleased cat. Shang Qinghua was cursing under his breath. He set the box down before touching his ears. They weren’t bleeding but they fucking hurt! He turned and glared at the ice demon. 

“Why did you do that!” He raised his voice and felt like he was either going to throw something or cry. 

Mobei-Jun looked at him confused. “I wanted you to wear them.” Shang Qinghua once more kicked his past self for not making his ideal man smarter in terms of basic social interaction. 

“You could have just handed them to me instead of impaling my ears! Also why do you want me to wear them, aren’t they yours?” He took a few calming breaths, touching his ears softly again. Still not pouring blood. 

“I gave them to you as gifts.” 

“What, why?” 

Mobei-Jun blankly stared at him. He then reached his hand out. Shang Qinghua flinched a little but was able to remain still. He then got a slightly condescending head pat. He felt like Mi tang (Binghe’s panda who got his name after he got into the honey and left sticky prints everywhere). 

Shang Qinghua looked up at Mobei-Jun, still confused. Mobei-Jun then smiled at him. MOBEI-JUN IS FUCKING SMILING AT ME! ALSJDSKAOAOSKDNDKSLAJD!!!

[ Host please do not short circuit. It would be a pain to fix. {>~<} ]

~~~~~~~~~

Mobei-Jun watched his precious human’s face fill with unbridled joy. His heart probably exploded at the sight but he couldn’t find himself to care. He was always in awe of Qinghua’s expressions. He went from confused and angry to shocked and happy in just a few seconds. It amazed him. 

“Good.” He nodded once more before moving his hand away from those soft curls. Qinghua had started letting them out of his bun more often. Most likely pushed by the other human, Shen Qingqiu. 

Mobei-Jun frowned at that. He still didn’t know how to feel about the other human. He cared for Qinghua but he was most definitely a rival. He had made that knowledge known to both of them when they first met. Mobei didn’t care though, after all even if Qinghua chose the human, ice demons practiced the art of wife stealing. 

But then Qinghua would be sad, like his mother. Then he might also lose the will to continue to live and Binghe would be left alone. Just like he was… 

No, Mobei-Jun wouldn’t steal him away if he wasn’t chosen. He would simply seduce him away. He knew he was attractive, many demons had already tried to marry him to their sons and daughters. He denied them all. The ones who were persistent got ice through them. 

He looked back over the Qinghua. He was buried back into his work and was ignoring the ice demon. Mobei-Jun wanted to destroy those pieces of paper for taking his Qinghua from him. 

Annoyed and grumbling, he stomped into Qinghua’s room. He saw Mi Tang sleeping on his human’s pillow. He picked the creature up and deposited it in his lap. It gave a small whine before being placated with pets. He then curled up and went back to sleep. What a peaceful existence. 

Mobei-Jun looked back through the door at Qinghua. Still working. Still ignoring him. Huffing, he kicked off his boots and laid down. He could take a nap, but he truly just wanted to spend time with Qinghua and his son. Luo Binghe. He had ice in his name. A good ice demon name. Even if he wasn’t one by blood, he would be one by name and family. 

Yes, Mobei-Jun must figure out when his father would finally kick the bucket so he would be free to etch his future son’s name into their line. His father had luckily withered enough that his title had been passed down to him. He was the one running his kingdom not that old sack of bones. And once his father died, he would be Mobei-Jun in body as well. 

Mi Tang stretched and turned to face him. His small face got closer as the creature crawled forward. Mobei-Jun just let him settle on his neck, his tail covering his mouth and nose. It was a bit hard to breathe but the joy of a living creature curling up to him was important. 

If he closed his eyes, it was Qinghua curled up to him. His face in his neck, his warm breath tickling his frozen skin. A purr rippled through him as he imagined it. Maybe Luo Binghe would be curled between the two of them. Completely protected from any human or demon that wished harm upon him. He let himself float a bit in his blissful dream. Suddenly another presence was in his dream looming over them. 

“I hope Mi Tang finally smothered you in your sleep.” Shen Qingqiu’s acidic voice broke his dream and Mobei-Jun opened his eyes. The man in question was glaring at him from Binghe’s crib. 

The little traitor, Mi Tang, got up and happily bounced over to the crib before crawling up and into it. So even the creature would leave him. 

“Oh joy, you’re alive.” He didn’t sound joyful. He sounded malicious and generally pissed off. Mobei-Jun ignored his tone, trying to not kill the man. It was a struggle. Half his instincts were telling him to kill the rival while the other half was completely confused as to why the other man was instigating him. 

Was he just being rude to him? Demons weren’t outwardly rude unless you were stronger. Shen Qingqiu was not stronger than him. The only other time when one would intentionally instigate fights, verbal and physical, was during courting. Shen Qingqiu was definitely not courting him. 

But the man had known that some ice demons courted through attacking the one they wished to mate or marry with. It was what he had been somewhat doing to Qinghua. When they had their….talk, Shen Qingqiu had yelled at him to stop courting ‘his A-Lei’ and that he knew of demonic courting processes. So did he know this one or was he just being rude. Was this how some humans made friends? Was he just trying to be his friend?

Mobei-Jun felt his head hurt a bit. He wasn’t good at things like this, it’s what Qinghua was for. “Shut up.” He growled at the human and closed his eyes again. He attempted to ignore the questions in his brain when he was smacked in the face! 

He jumped up growling. The offending object still in Shen Qingqiu’s hand. His goddamn cursed fan. Shen Qingqiu was smirking behind it. “Whoops, I thought I saw a pest in A-Lei’s bed.” 

Mobei-Jun, as quick as he could, grabbed the fan and crushed it in his hand. Shen Qingqiu had his mouth open for a second before he recovered, his eyes flaring with hatred. 

“That was a gift from my Shizun you dim witted block of frozen horse shit!” The man screeched and moved to punch the demon. Mobei-Jun dodged and put him in a headlock. 

“You interrupted my nap.” Mobei-Jun snarled as the fledgling cultivator twisted and snapped like a wild beast. 

“LET ME GO YOU UNCIVILIZED BRUTE! I HOPE YOU STEP ON A RUSTED NAIL AND DIE OF AN INFECTED SLOWLY!” He continued to thrash and hiss. He began putting Qi behind his attacks, leaving deep cuts in Mobei-Jun’s forearms. 

“IF THE TWO IF YOU DON’T FUCKING SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP I’M TAKING BINGHE AND BECOMING A RICE FARMER!” Qinghua slammed the bedroom door open. His eyes were full of anger and disappointment. When he saw Binghe whimpering away in his crib his expression turned even darker. Mobei-Jun slowly let go of Shen Qingqiu. The man had stopped screeching and was avoiding eye contact. “Were you fighting with Binghe in the room?” 

None of them answered. Qinghua took a shuddering breath, muttering about losing points for murdering. Mobei-Jun had the feeling his life may just be in danger. 

“I have been putting up with your petty squabbles for months. If the two of you don’t learn to get along, then I will cut you both out of Binghe’s life.” Qinghua wasn’t joking or making false threats. Qinghua really would do that. He would probably cut them out using poison.  Mobei-Jun had a shiver of pride over that fact. His human really was terrifying when he wanted to. “If you must fight, then do it where me and Binghe can’t see or hear it. I will not raise my son in an arguing household! What would that teach him?” 

Mobei-Jun nodded in agreement. Qinghua glared at him, unsatisfied with his answer. “I will refrain from fighting with Shen Qingqiu.” He sighed. Shen Qingqiu glared at him before crossing his arms with a sniff. 

“I won’t be nice to him but I will attempt to not take it too far. However, you break one more fan and I will string your guts up.” He snarled before straightening his clothes. 

Qinghua gave them both a tired smile. It looked painful. “Perfect, now both of you leave. I want some peace and quiet with Binghe.” Qinghua then picked up Binghe, cooing at him and trying to calm him down. Mi Tang was perched on his shoulders. 

Mobei-Jun sighed, sad that he had to leave. Perhaps he should have attempted to be nicer. He had to be nicer for Qinghua. He didn’t fully hate Shen Qingqiu’s company and the man wasn’t telling their sect about how Qinghua was a spy for demons. Qinghua was also emotionally invested in him. Mobei-Jun looked down at Shen Qingqiu who was avoiding eye contact by gazing sadly at the crushed remains of his fan. 

Mobei-Jun gave him a clap on his shoulder. Shen Qingqiu gave him a look of pure hatred before storming out. Mobei-Jun sighed. With his thoughts still swirling, he summoned a portal and left. 

The frigid cold settled back into his bones, wiping away the uncomfortable warmth. He found himself almost missing it. He sat on his bed and fell back into it. It was cold. Cold and empty. 

He felt lonely. So lonely. He truly missed Qinghua and Luo Binghe, despite only just leaving. He even somewhat missed Shen Qingqiu. He raised his arm and looked at the scratches. Perhaps this man was part cat demon. He was certainly feral enough for it. 

Shen Qingqiu. What was he going to do about the human? Killing him was out of the question. Maybe he should just do what Qinghua said and attempt to get along with him. Yes, that should work. They seem to have nothing in common, other than wishing for Qinghua and Luo Binghe to be safe. He could work off of that, maybe. 

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe had now finally been fucking weened! His tits were now saved from the little monsters' horrid nomming and teething. All at only eight months old. Shang Qinghua should have waited until he was a year but Binghe seemed to really enjoy congee mush and mashed fruits. 

Another big development was Binghe pulling himself up. He had first stood by himself in front of all three of them. It was of course made into a big deal and Shang Qinghua totally didn’t start sobbing about how fast his son was growing. Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun also totally didn’t smile uncontrollably at the baby bouncing up and down, now learning the laws of gravity. 

Speaking of those two, they had luckily stopped trying to actively murder eachother and settled on fighting over who Binghe liked most (Jokes on them, Shang Qinghua was Binghe’s favorite). But it was much better! Shang Qinghua felt his blood pressure go down a bit. A bit. 

It was currently still as high as he had been during his last year at college. During which he had said ‘fuck this I’ll just write a stallion novel!’ and the rest is history. 

The one of the two main contributors to his stress was his ‘wonderful and amazing’ sect that ‘respects and cares’ about little ol weak An Ding and all their paperwork. They loved to show their support by not doing it. Liu Qingge, by some stroke of divine intervention, still did his paperwork and dropped it off in person. He was rewarded with Binghe being adorable. But everyone else didn’t do shit. 

His Shizun had also begun throwing the full force of paperwork back at him since he was no longer a new parent. Yay. 

His second contributor to his declining mental health and sleep schedule was affected by his first contributor. This contributor had realized paperwork took time away from Shang Qinghua giving him attention and love. That’s right, sweet little baby Luo Binghe at eight months old had decided that since he was so smart and advanced, he would simply start his terrible twos early. Yaaaaay. 

That meant no more crying and screaming for simply food, sleep, or the bathroom. No, he would cry every time Shang Qinghua sat at his desk and spent more than five minutes on his paperwork. Shang Qinghua wanted to join him in his crying and wailing over having to do paperwork, but he had a job and a system that still expected him to become Peak Lord. 

The one loophole was if someone else was there. Binghe could be pacified with a prissy green cat or a cold demon cat. Anyone else wasn’t good enough. He tried pawning him off to his Shizun once and….well he wouldn’t be trying again. That kid chose his favorite people and viewed everyone else outside of that group as not good enough for him. 

Currently, Shen Qingqiu was off peak on a mission and Mobei-Jun had an important demon lord meeting over a border dispute or something. Shang Qinghua was also behind. Why? Because Binghe earlier that week threw a particularly violent fit where he fell, bumped his head, screamed some more, and he had been whisked off to Qian Cao to make sure he didn’t get brain trauma or a concussion. 

It had simply been a small bruise. 

Shang Qinghua spent the rest of the day fussing over him instead of doing important paperwork to make sure the whole mountain got enough food and supplies to last the next month. 

“Little Lord, I'm sorry but I have to do this. If I don’t you won’t get applesauce or mashed carrots.” He bounced Binghe in his lap while trying to write as fast as he could while maintaining some readability. Binghe was starting his fussy noises. He was looking at the paper with tears threatening to fall. “Do you want something to eat? Please just don’t cry.” Binghe looked at him with a quivering lip. He looked like a dejected little puppy. Absolutely pitiful. 

“Mmmmph?” 

“Ahahaha, no I can’t stop working. Do you want to play with Mi Tang? Mi Tang, psat psst psst.” Mi Tang lumbered from his basket looking very overfed. He was supposed to be a ferocious protector of the baby protagonist but so far all he was was a fat sleepy red panda that only got exercise from leaping on the tables and counters before being chased off. Usually with a fan. Mi Tang also had a hidden collection of fans somewhere. They only knew he had been stealing since they had caught him in the act. Most likely a form of revenge. 

He gave a half hearted chirp before collapsing next to them. Binghe found it hilarious and laughed. At least it wasn’t crying. Sighing, Shang Qinghua continued running through paperwork as fast as he could. His old teachers would most likely weep tears of joy at how fast he was. 

As he worked, time flew by and he felt his eyes droop. He glanced up and jumped a bit when he was met with the night sky outside his window. He had worked past dinner. Both him and Binghe had not had dinner. Binghe who had been silent for the past four or so hours. 

“Shit.” Shang Qinghua turned around, praying that to the system or whatever it listened to that Binghe was still there. Luo Binghe was curled up on the floor next to Mi Tang who was also sleeping. Shang Qinghua really wanted a camera. 

He quietly stood up and scurried to the kitchen to get some food for them. He collected the pre-mashed applesauce for Binghe and a bowl of old rice for him. He really did need to restock his food tomorrow. He could go to the food hall but that was too much of a hassle this time of night. 

Binghe was still curled up to Mi Tang when he returned. Shang Qinghua sat him up and poke his arm a little. “Hey little lord, you have to eat and get ready for bed.” Binghe rubbed his eyes and sleepily grumbled. Ah my son you’re killing me with your cuteness! Please stay small and cute forever! 

Luo Binghe looked up at him and blinked slowly. He then sat up and reached up at the bowl. Shang Qinghua set down the bowl and gave him his spoon. Binghe very sloppily ate it, while staring blankly at the wall. He seemed half asleep. He got halfway through his bowl before he started fussing and reaching out for Shang Qinghua again. 

“Oh, are you ready for bed now? I am also ready for bed but I still have work.” Shang Qinghua set down his rice and picked up his sleepy son. The fat and overfed leach of a red panda, followed them into the bedroom. Binghe passed out in his arms and snuggled into his robes, clutching them like a lifeline. “Please don’t do this, I really do need to finish all of it, or more then half.” The baby still didn’t let go. 

He attempted to pry his hands off but Luo Binghe used his ultimate weapon, teary eyes. Shang Qinghua groaned in annoyance before giving up. “Fuck it I’m gonna cuddle my baby instead of doing paperwork. Mi Tang got out of his cradle, you’re too fat for it.” Mu Tang made an angry chirp. 

Shang Qinghua ignored the creature in favor of trying to change with a baby latched onto him. He should probably wash up and clean Binghe as well but he didn’t have the motivation to do anything other than get comfy. And use his baby protagonist as a heated pillow. Becoming a parent had a few perks. 

He only managed to take his hair down and kick off his shoes before giving up and climbing into bed. Luo Binghe got comfortable on his chest and sighed. Aaaaaah so cute!!!

[ Hosts protagonist really is adorable! +5 points for creating an adorable baby! {>-<} ]

I love you system.

[   { ///•  •/// }  ……+5 points……. ] 

Shang Qinghua laughed a little. Binghe mumbled a little, causing him to stop laughing. When he stilled, Shang Qinghua smiled to himself again, happy that he made the decision to check on him. If he hadn’t….well his son would be growing up in poverty and dragging the washerwoman further down with his additional mouth. This truly was the best outcome. Outside of his mom and dad actually raising him. 

He then frowned as he wondered how he would handle the whole future ‘you’re adopted and your dad is a heavenly demon who is now trapped under a mountain because your mothers teacher got jealous and wanted to marry her instead. He kinda maybe killed her and is the reason you’re an orphan!’ conversation. That wouldn’t be fun. 

Shang Qinghua bit his lip. Maybe he should only say that if Binghe truly digs around for answers as to who his birth parents are. Part of him hoped he never would and would be satisfied with Shang Qinghua. And his itinerary of uncles and aunts. And the ice demon king who pops up now and then. 

Luo Binghe’s family tree would give an elementary school teacher an aneurism. Convoluted and with no one actually related to him. 

“Are you asleep?” Shang Qinghua jumped a little, jostling Binghe who made another displeased noise, as Shen Qingqiu walked into his room silently. How did he even get in without making a sound?

“I’m quiet and I’ll take that as a yes.” Ah he spoke out loud again. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you had a mission? Did you finish it already?” Shang Qinghua watched as the other man fidgeted with his fan. 

“Yes, the villagers were helpful for once and pointed us straight to the problem. It was a hallucinogenic demonic plant and not a ten foot tall man eating monster.”  Shen Qingqiu walked over to the sleeping child and the half alive head disciple. “Move.” 

“Huh?” Shang Qinghua felt the rest of his life force disappear. Did he just hear his best friend scum villain tell him to move over? 

“I said move over, I’m tired and I’m not in the mood to go down to the brothel tonight.” He scuffed and walked over to the desk and took his hair pin down. “Do you have a problem with this, or are only demon lords allowed to sleep in your bed?” His green eyes flashed in the moonlight. Shang Qinghua felt a bead of sweat go down his face. 

“I-it’s fine! No problem here! My beds open to anyone….AH NOT IN THAT WAY! Shit, what I meant is it’s okay and I’m shutting up.” Shang Qinghua knew his face was bright red, glad that the night was hiding it. For if it was day he would have noticed that Shen Qingqiu had a dusting of pink on his face. 

Instead all he heard was a scuff and a plink from the hair pin on wood. “Your mind moves too fast. Stop it.” Shen Qingqiu walked over and sat on the edge of the bed as he took his shoes off. Shang Qinghua nervously chuckled (as he always did in these homoerotic strangely domestic scenes) and scooted over. 

“I’ll try to. Oh I also have Binghe on my chest so try not to hit him or roll over on him.” 

“If he’s on you, how would I roll over on him?” 

“…” Shang Qinghua blinked stupidly at Shen Qingqiu. The other snorted and got under the covers. The two then laid there staring at the ceiling for a while. None of them said anything. 

Despite the awkwardness, Shang Qinghua felt his eyes drooping. As he fell asleep to the constant weight and warmth of his son, and the sound of Shen Qingqiu breathing, he could almost swear he felt someone curling up next to him. 

****

Shen Qingqiu had no idea what he was doing. To be fair he half expected the demon to bed there and have his plan fail. His plan was to get free cuddles from his A-Lei and push the man to realize his feelings. His plan had gone off perfectly, he had gone to A-Lei’s house after his mission and was now sleeping next to him. Great, except the little beast was stealing his cuddles instead of sleeping in his crib like a good child. Instead the flea infested rat was sleeping in the crib. 

Shen Qingqiu sighed and rested his head on the other man’s shoulder. He didn’t react at all. Shang Lei could sleep through a demon invasion. A demon invasion and a festival happening in front of his house. The opposite of Shen Qingqiu who would wake at anything and could only sleep with someone else. Someone he trusted. 

That list was incredibly short and was currently only composed of the women at the Warm Red Pavillon and his Shang Lei (if he was being truthful his Qi-ge was still safe to him). Shen Qingqiu already had a few rumors of him being a whore who slept with many women and a few more ridiculous ones about how he and A-Lei were a couple and the little beast was their magic-Qi-love child. Oh how he wished that was true. The couple part, he was most definitely not emotionally attached to the child A-Lei opened his heart to. 

Shen Qingqiu smiled and snuggled into A-Lei’s neck. Shang Lei moved his head to rest on his and sighed. Shen Qingqiu froze and decided that this was how he was sleeping and there was nothing he could do about it. 

“A-Lei?” He whispered. No answer. “A-Lei, you really are special.” Still no answer. “I-I care for you, greatly.” Nothing. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know if he felt relieved that he wasn’t heard or not. Perhaps one day he would be able to say it to him while awake. 

He had spent the past few months going over his feelings and he wanted to spend the rest of his immortal life with his A-Lei. Whether he had to share it with a sticky, cold demon didn’t matter. All that matters is he has A-Lei and A-Lei has him. 

“I love you, A-Lei.” He mouthed as he pushed down his tears. Gods, he was pathetic. Unable to even say it out loud when there was no one to listen. 

Shen Qingqiu took a shaky breath. He looked down at Luo Binghe and his mess of curly hair. He wasn’t too bad when he wasn’t screaming or crying. 

Shen Qingqiu reached out and brushed his hair back. The curls sprinted back into place immediately. He sighed once again and let his arm rest around the child and in turn, A-Lei. He closed his eyes and let their safe warmth flood his senses as he fell asleep. 

****

Mobei-Jun hated meetings. They were long, boring, and required. He couldn’t just kill everyone or not show up. Quite annoying. All he wanted was some quality rest in Qinghua’s house while watching him work or his son sleep. Maybe tonight he would hold the child again. He smiled. 

He however did not smile when he finished stepping through his portal and saw Shen Qingqiu sleeping next to Qinghua. No, he frowned. Why was he living his dream? He was supposed to be the one curling up with Qinghua and his son. He would not live for this. If Shen Qingqiu got to sleep with Qinghua then he would too. 

Mobei-Jun unceremoniously threw his thick coat on the desk and kicked his shoes into a corner. He then walked up to the bed and tried to figure out how to get in it. 

He couldn’t just get in normally since he would be next to Shen Qingqiu and not Qinghua. He also didn’t fancy waking up to getting strangled. It happened to him once when he was ten and his chambermaid tried to kill him. After the incident he started dressing himself. But lately he had roped Qinghua into helping him. 

Mobei-Jun blinked rapidly and tried to stead his thoughts back to the matter at hand, cuddling with Qinghua and the dangers of it. The bed was only large enough for two people if they laid on their backs with their arms touching. With Qinghua laying in the middle with Luo Binghe in his lap and then Shen Qingqiu on the outside, it meant he would have to figure out how to get to the area between the wall and Qinghua. 

He threw caution to the wind and crawled over the bed frame at the end. Shen Qingqiu moved a little but didn’t wake up, luckily. He didn’t want Qinghua to wake up to a screaming match during the early hours of the morning. Mobei-Jun slowly laid on his side. 

Okay. He was now sharing a bed with Qinghua. His small, cute, little spy. He felt more of the strange warmth in his chest. Uncomfortable and soft. He loved it. 

Mobei-Jun scooted close to their human cuddle pile and joined it. He had his temperature rise to make sure he didn’t disturb Qinghua. Then he slowly pushed his arm under him. Qinghua grunted a bit and scooted a little. As he did that, Shen Qingqiu made a noise of dissatisfaction and tightened his death grip on Luo Binghe and Qinghua. Mobei-Jun was about to growl in protest when Qinghua let one of his arms smack his face. 

He blinked a few times before using his free hand and holding it. Qinghua had such small hands. Calluses from sword fighting and carrying heavy boxes sat on them. Each one of them spoke of his hard work and dedication. He pulled it up to his lips to kiss. Yes this was quite nice. 

Making sure his horns didn’t smack anything, he rested his chin on the top of Qinghua’s head. Purrs rumbled out of him in satisfaction. Mobei-Jun hoped they wouldn’t awaken or frighten Qinghua. He understood some humans were frightened by inhuman trust in demons. He didn’t think Qinghua was frightened or disturbed but he could never be quite sure. Sometimes he found the other man just staring at them (Mobei-Jun has yet to learn that Shang Qinghua designed him as his perfect man and that he is one-hundred-percent a monster fucker). 

He liked when Qinghua stared at him, it made him feel powerful. He suppressed a yawn and squeezed his love's hand before fully relaxing. Mobei-Jun then drifted off with thoughts of Qinghua’s bright gaze in him. 

Chapter Text

Shang Qinghua felt so warm. Not uncomfortably warm, but the warmth you would get when you sit in a warm spot of sunshine. Or when you get hugged by someone you care about. Ah, that’s why I’m warm. Binghe used me as a mattress last night. He cracked open his eyes and blearily looked at his chest. Binghe laid, drooling in his clothes. He was the image of a perfect sleeping child. 

He scrunched his brow when he saw another arm, that wasn’t his draped, over the babe. He followed it to his left and to Shen Qingqiu. 

“...”

His brain short circuited before it connected what was happening to his half asleep memories of the night before. That’s right, Shen Qingqiu had stopped by after he finished his quest and was too drained and tired to go down to the brothel to sleep. Shang Qinghua smirked to himself that his skittish friend trusted him so much to fall asleep in his presence. His very hot attractive friend who constantly looked pissed. The same friend who was laying on his shoulder, looking so peaceful and cute. He wanted to curl up against him and give his nose a little kiss. 

“…”

Shang Qinghua felt his face turn red. Oh gods he had broken the ‘fall for your best friend’ rule. He had not noticed himself slowly falling that slope and now he was going to be awkward around Shen Qingqiu and Shen Qingqiu would one hundred percent smell his sad little crush and destroy him. Then he would take his hatred at Shang Qinghua out on Luo Binghe and then Binghe would get resentful and- 

Aaaaaah don’t think about that! I’ll just do what I did in High School! That being ignoring his feelings and instead obsessing over fake fictional men that he created in his head (this being the reason for Mobei-Jun taking form). That worked out fine. If Shen Qingqiu asked him about being awkward he could also just blame it on being worried about Binghe. Yes, that would work. Focus on your totally-never-going-to-happen crush and being a good dad. 

However he could start ignoring his feelings later because right now he was sandwiched between two people and had his sweet protagonist son dozing on top of him. It couldn’t get better then thi-

Sandwiched. He was sandwiched between two living breathing things. Shang Qinghua slowly turned his head, praying it was just Mi Tang. 

He instantly had a face full of ice demon chest. Amazing, beautiful, artfully sculpted ice demon tits. Just pure muscle that emitted a light chill and glistened in the sunrise. He wanted to shove his face in between them and suffoca-

NO! Bad horny me! Your son is right here and your best friend now realized crush is also right there. You can slobber over these beautiful art pieces later…by yourself! He blinked rapidly in order to drive the rest of those thoughts to the back of his mind. 

He glanced up and confirmed that the ice demon chest was indeed that of his king. His king who had not been there when he fell asleep and was now sleeping on the cramped bed, between the wall and Shang Qinghua. How he got there he didn’t know. Maybe he teleported or crawled over the frame. The idea of Mobei-Jun crawling over the end of a bed was absolutely ridiculous, he fought to keep from snickering at the idea. Either way, Mobei-Jun was hugging him with one arm under his head and the other around his waist. 

Shang Qinghua was going through the five stages of grief multiple times. He was trapped between two hot men who he was both smitten with and that was as mortifying as it was arousing. For one, the two people on either side hated each other. Two, Shen Qingqiu hated men. He never felt safe sleeping in their presence. Him sleeping with Shang Qinghua was a fucking miracle and the product of years of trust and bridge building. Shen Qingqiu probably also didn’t see him as a threat. He was very nonthreatening, it was what made the original Shang Qinghua such a great spy. 

But now there was a strange, untrusted man sleeping less than a body (since the two of them were engulfing Shang Qinghua) away. Shen Qingqiu would never fully trust him again. 

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He would most likely be in the middle of a screaming match in a few minutes to a few hours. So he was just going to close his eyes and enjoy this very nice, very not volatile, cuddle sandwich. Hopefully they wouldn’t fight too badly in order to not make Binghe unhappy. 

He started actually drifting off when the clawed hand around his waist twitched. Shang Qinghua would have jumped but he had mastered pretending to be asleep/fainted/dead. He had learned how to use cultivation to make his heart beat slowly. He used a similar practice on his lungs. If he hadn’t then he would have been caught/dead many times over.  It was a cowards strategy but a coward he was! 

Mobei-Jun sighed above him and shifted so he was now closer to Shang Qinghua. AAAAAAAH! My king you are killing this one's heart! Mobei-Jun did not stop causing his heart issues as the very tall, very scary, very regal ice demon made a happy prrt like a cat before rubbing his face into Shang Qinghua’s hair and purring. Full on, lawnmower sounding uppercase P, Purring. 

WTF WTF WTF!

[ Congratulations, host had unlocked romance quest lines -My bamboo cat- and -My ice cat-. Host has also received +150 points each for unlocking! Keep up the good work! {~^•w•^~} ]

ROMANCE QUEST LINES! System why would you give me romance quest lines with people WHO DON'T WANT A ROMANCE WITH ME! Do you want me to be cut to tiny pieces and or turned into an ice sculpture? 

[ This System would never knowingly hurt host! {>~<} unless host activates punishment protocol or loses all points and needs to be sent back to original world, but that process is relatively painless. ]

…relatively?

Shang Qinghua felt like crying or laughing. Perhaps he would do both. There was no way his crushes were interested in him. Shen Qingqiu only saw him as a friend and he was Mobei-Jun’s spy and occasional accountant. There was absolutely no way in this PIDW hell that those two beautiful amazing men liked him. And even if they did, how was he supposed to choose?

[ {-_-}  Host… ] 

As he was worrying his little head, the so-called ‘bamboo cat’ stirred. Shang Qinghua shut off his ‘I’m gonna die alone surrounded by beautiful men and as a single mom’ train of thought. He had to focus on the repercussions of this…cuddle pile. Shen Qingqiu on cue moved some more and yawned. Omg he yawned! Then on cue he froze, becoming tense and as welcoming as a Four-Footed Monkey Rat (a species notorious for killing first asking questions later). Shang Qinghua braced himself for screaming, objects being thrown, and someone leaving pissed off. 

He waited…….And waited…... Okay, it was coming soon, it had to be……. Yeah no one was fighting or yelling. Wtf. 

Shang Qinghua felt as if he accidentally slipped into another alternate dimension where Shen Qingqiu was passive and Mobei-Jun was nice. 

[ Host is still in the PIDW he transmigrated to years ago. ] 

Upon realizing that Shen Qingqiu was awake, Mobei-Jun stopped purring. The intensity of their glares could be felt by Shang Qinghua, who was sadly still caught in the middle. 

“Does your kingdom not have any beds? It must not have any since you seem to keep showing up in A-Lei’s.” Shen Qingqiu smirked, he could hear it in his voice, at the ice demon. He sat up a little and began playing with a piece of Shang Qinghua’s hair. 

“It does, but this one is the safest. Does your peak also not have any?” Mobei-Jun rumbled. Gods that’s so sexy. 

Shen Qingqiu scoffed and sat up more. “For once you’re correct, this place is the safest.” He then snatched Binghe from Shang Qinghua and got off the bed and walked over to what he assumed was the cradle. There was an angry chirp from Mi Tang before Shen Qingqiu came back without his protagonist. 

Shen-Shixiong…why did you steal my child? 

Shen Qingqiu then proceed to lay back down but this time with half his body thrown over Shang Qinghua. “I don’t have to wake up for a few hours so keep that racket down and I won’t kill you.” He mumbled his biting response, cuddling closer somehow. Mobei-Jun gave a noncommittal grunt before pulling Shang Qinghua closer to him. Shen Qingqiu made an angry sound but said nothing else. 

Meanwhile, Shang Qinghua was as overwhelmed as his ancient computer had been when he wrote the original outline for PIDW. That computer had exploded and he was sure to be following it. 

[ Congratulations, Congratulations, Congratulations! Good things should be said three times! Host had unlocked the secret romance route -You can hold two cats in your arms-! Host will now be awarded all the points from the night before! +100 care points for ‘maternal touch’, +50 points for ‘Shen Qingqiu character depth’, +50 points for ‘Mobei-Jun character depth’, +100 points for ‘who needs brothel ladies when you have a hamster’, +5 points for ‘what’s a bed frame?’ +15 points for ‘sleeps like the dead’, +300 points for ‘building blocks of a harem’. Host is really getting points faster with the romance route. {^o^} ]

What…System please explain? What is happening? What harem?!

[ of course! Host has accumulated over a hundred fifty satisfaction points in characters Mobei-Jun and Shen Qingqiu, unlocking romance routes. Please note not all characters that exceed a hundred fifty lead to romance, some like Gao Mingxing and Luo Binghe lead to familial relations. Then Host had instigated a territory war between the felines over who gets the soft little hamster- ]

Why am I soft and little? And why am I a hamster?! 

[ -in order to keep the SOFT LITTLE HAMSTER happy, the cats have agreed to share. Thus unlocking the -you can hold two cats in your arms- romance route. Would host like to view point amounts and character points? ]

Unsure of what to say, Shang Qinghua clicked the green check. He was still processing everything. The future Peak lord on his chest and demon lord behind him weren’t helping too much. 

The system had a bar loading on the bottom before the screen grew to accommodate the information. 

[ User: 001: Shang Qinghua: future An Ding Peak Lord 

B points: 848,294 

Care points: 3417

Character point list 

SQQ: future Qing Jing Peak Lord

Relationship: best friends/lovers 

Satisfaction: 223

Anger: 10

MBJ: demon lord of the Northern Desert

Relationship: boss/lovers 

Satisfaction: 215

Anger: 5

LBH: Future Emperor of the Three Realms (protagonist) 

Relationship: Adoptive son 

Satisfaction: MAX

Anger: 79 

GMX: Current An Ding Peak Lord 

Relationship: Shifu/father 

Satisfaction: 187

Anger: 1

*More Characters* ]

Shang Qinghua stared at the screens behind his eyelids for a bit. He was attempting to piece together that he had inadvertently romanced his crushes and now they were both whipped for him. This couldn’t be real. He started to reread the points when he noted that Luo Binghe had a large amount of anger points and it was growing. The 79 had jumped to 102. 

System, why is Luo Binghe’s anger points rising so rapidly? 

[ Because Luo Binghe is a baby and doesn’t understand emotion control. While a young child, if his anger goes over 100 he will start throwing a tantrum. {^=^} ] 

And on cue, little hiccuping sobs turned into ear piercing screams. As it turns out, when you move a sleeping baby that was close to waking up, away from his nice warm mattress he usually wakes up angry. After all, why was he in the red and black fur covered crib when he fell asleep in his mothers arms? It was scary. 

Shang Qinghua, Pavlovian trained to run to a crying child, sat up abruptly. He then awkwardly flopped and wiggled his way out of the not so volatile sandwich and stumbled to the crib. Luo Binghe started to calm down when he saw him. His shrieks turned to gut wrenching sobs. He looked so heartbroken and betrayed. If Shang Qinghua Wasn’t already smitten with his small protagonist bean of a son, he would be now. 

“Hey little lord it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here.” He picked him up and began to kiss his nose and cheeks. Binghe let out a fractured giggle. “See you're not alone. Now let’s get you all cleaned up, I didn’t give you a bath yesterday and you’re all stinky.” Binghe giggled as Shang Qinghua made a silly face. 

Shang Qinghua then walked over to his bathroom door but stopped. He then turned and gave a long suffering glare at the other men sitting frozen on his bed. Yeah he could deal with them later. Them and the fact they both apparently love him. Gods, this was a mess and he was still behind on his work. 

He quickly set Binghe in his little tub and grabbed the extra water bucket he also kept filled for accidents. After heating it appropriately, he filled the tub a small amount leaving the extra water to use for later. Binghe splashed the water with his arms a little, calmed down from his meltdown. 

He only whimpered a little when his head was tilted back so his hair could get wet. Shang Qinghua started to lather the mixture of soapy water and oils into his scalp, using the repetition to disassociate (something you shouldn’t do while washing a child). His mind was a scattered mess and he didn’t want to work on cleaning it up. 

[ -5 care points. Host please don’t disassociate while washing a child {>_<} ] 

Shang Qinghua snapped back to reality and the baby whose hair was very sudsy. Binghe didn’t seem to object, basking in the extra attention. “Sorry Binghe, got lost there for a moment.” Binghe gave him a happy gurgle of acceptance. He then violently slapped the water, sending a large amount out of the tub and onto the sleep rumpled robes of his parent. Shang Qinghua was used to this and didn’t bat an eye. He grabbed the extra water and began to rinse Binghe free of soap suds. After he was done, he dried off the babies hair and dressed him in the extra robes he kept in the bathroom. 

Binghe then patiently sat on the floor as Shang Qinghua also changed. He was not about to walk into a…whatever was going on in water splattered clothes. He had some personal respect, not a lot but some. 

[ +10 points for self love. {=^w^=} ] 

You’re being a very talkative system. 

[ {•  •} ]

He scoffed, exiting out of the window. If the system wanted to talk more, so be it. Shang Qinghua picked Binghe up and sighed. He could work through his own feelings later, first he had to get through this morning. Everything was going to be fine. 

Everything was not fine. 

First off, his kitchen was on fire. Second off, his kitchen was now covered in ice and snow. He stood in the doorway with his mouth open as he watched Shen Qingqiu yell at Mobei-Jun for not knowing how to cook eggs. Where had they gotten the eggs? He was all out of extra food the night before so why was there a basket of ingredients? 

Binghe started laughing at the utter confusion and ridiculousness that was happening. Both Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun looked over the two. Shang Qinghua felt his heart skip a beat. 

“Ahem, apologies A-Lei. I meant to cook you and the little beast some breakfast but this-“ he pointed an accusing finger at Moebi-Jun who was attempting to hide behind his hair. “-idiot insisted on helping.” 

“At least I didn’t cause Luo Binghe to cry.” Mobei mumbled. Shen Qingqiu spun around to face him, his nostrils flaring. 

“Ahahaha, anyway where did the food come from?” Shang Qinghua stepped into the room and smiled nervously. The other two stopped their fight to look at the basket. 

Shen Qingqiu smirked and crossed his arms. “I brought it over last night since you were running low before I left. Glad I did or else you would both be eating bland food hall dishes.” 

“An Ding actually seasons their food, unlike Qing Jing, but thank you for thinking ahead.” Shang Qinghua gave him a soft smile and walked over to the basket. He mainly did it to hide his red face. You didn’t have the energy to go to sleep at the brother but you had enough energy to get me ingredients?! Maybe the system is right about you liking me. 

The system gave the sound equivalent of an eye roll. Shang Qinghua turned back around. Mobei-Jun has unmelting the blocks of ice on the pan and surrounding area, making his kitchen become drenched. Great. 

“Since the stove is rendered unusable at this time, how about some diced fruit?” He held up an apple and Binghe worked in eating and smashing a persimmon. Shen Qingqiu nodded and grabbed a knife before going back to the basket. Shang Qinghua walked up to Mobei-Jun and patted his shoulder. “It’s okay my king. Thank you so much for trying to help make eggs for everyone. It’s the thought that counts after all.”

Mobei-Jun stared at him before smiling a little and patting his head. “Will learn to cook better for Qinghua.” Shang Qinghua felt his face turn even redder. Wtf wtf wtf! My king you are killing this one. He was about to find somewhere to hide when a sticky hand touched his face. He looked down at Binghe who was now covered in persimmon mush. His soul broke a bit when he realized he would need to clean his son again. 

“Binghe why do you do this to me.” He muttered to the baby. Oh well he could clean him up after breakfast. 

“Is anyone else going to help cut the fruit up or am I your personal cook?” Shen Qingqiu snapped over his shoulder. He was cutting open a few peaches with a vengeance. 

“I know how to cut fruit.” Mobei-Jun walked over to the basket and began cutting some apples. Shang Qinghua watched them prep the fruit for a few seconds before rushing to clear the table of old teacups and paperwork. He swept it onto the floor before pushing it with his foot out of the way. When he finished, Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun came in with a few plates of different fruit. 

“Thank you, A-Jiu! Thank you, my king.” Shang Qinghua sat down with Binghe and began stuffing his face. He went unaware of the twin thoughts that fluttered through the other two's minds. 

He looks like a hamster. 

Chapter Text

The meeting hall in Qiong Ding Peak was impressive. Large carved doors made out of the wood of a spiritual tree stood at the entrance. They were immensely heavy and impossible to open unless one had a special pendant. The doors were a dark brown, accented by the gray stone and vines next to them. The inside was just as impressive. 

Twelve large stone chairs all carved to correspond with the peak it represented. The seat for Qing Jing had bamboo and clouds while the An Ding one was full of geometric patterns and arrays. They all stood around a circular stone table with a large fire pit in the middle. The fire was ever burning, extinguishing only if Cang Qiong Sect burns as well and all the peak lords fall. 

At the moment six of the twelve seats were filled. Qiong Ding, Qing Jing, An Ding, Qian Cao, Bai Zhan, and Ying Zi. A secret meeting. 

Jin Mingbao sat in her impressive chair and coldly analyzed everyone else in the room. Her sharp eyes staring into everyone’s soul, one at a time. “Let us not pretend that we do not know the purpose of this meeting. We are here to discuss the demon child Shang Qinghua has taken in.” 

“Half-Human. Don’t forget that Luo Binghe is half human.” Gao Mingxing snapped at his Shixiong. He hated how she always assumed anyone with a drop of demonic blood was automatically a demon. 

“Of course, that is what we are here to discuss after all, Shidi. Whether the child is more human or demonic. We have put this off in order to watch him and see if he displays any signs of giving into his…nature.” She gave a cold smile. “Shu-Shimei, how is the seal on him?” 

Shu Mingcao sighed, “The seal is as strong as the day it was cast. Su Xiyan made that seal with her life force and the only way for it to break is if something of large demonic energy forcibly pushed a large quantity of demonic energy into the child. I don’t see the point in discussing whether he is a demon or not. He is currently as human as any of us and will continue to be unless you plan on shoving him into the arms of a demon lord.” She glared at Jin Mingbao with contempt. Jin Mingbao acted unaffected. 

“It’s not the child we should worry about, it’s the idiot who brought him here.” Zai Mingzai, the Bai Zhan peak lord, fidgeted with his sword tassel. He glanced over at Gao Mingxing. The other man confidently took a sip of his now lukewarm tea. 

“Shang Qinghua has never officially met Su Xiyan or the previous demon lord Tianlang-Jun. There is no way that he should know the child’s bloodline, and even if he did, the choice to raise him in a human sect among humans is the smartest choice he could make.” He set down his cup and stared straight at his Shidi. “My successor is not a spy and only has the good of the sect in mind.” 

“Hmmm interesting statement Gao-Shidi, An-Shimei has Shen Qingqiu noticed anything strange about Shang-Shizhi or his ward?” The sect leader barely glanced at the Qing Jing peak lord. 

“Shen Qingqiu has only noticed Shang Qinghua being a nervous first time parent who is and I quote ‘out if his damn mind thinking he can simultaneously raise a needy spoiled baby, learn to run An Ding, and do all the paperwork for the rest of the sect at the same time’. He has not noticed any signs of his Shidi knowing his wards ancestry or consorting with demons outside the standard amount that An Ding does for business.” An Minghai chuckled as she crossed her arms. She found her student’s angry rants disguised as reports entertaining. 

Gao Mingxing snapped his cup in his palm. “Ah so that’s why Shen Qingqiu wanted to help out. It wasn’t out of the kindness of his heart or wanting to spend time with Shang Qinghua, it was because he was your little spy all along. Just when I think you have morals I discover the depths of your depravity are deeper than before.” He sneered as An Minghai’s eyebrows bunched together. 

“How dare you accuse me of such a thing. Shen Qingqiu decided to play house with your disciple all on his own. Is it a crime to ask my own disciple if he had noticed anything strange about the child or his Shidi?” She snapped open her fan and glared from over it. Jin Mingbao chuckled at their display and raised her hand. 

“Let’s not get sidetracked now. Shen Qingqiu does indeed spend much time in An Ding with Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe. If he hasn’t noticed anything suspicious then there is most likely nothing suspicious happening. However one can never be too sure.” She folded her hands in her lap and slowly blinked. “Kai Mingmi, as our resident spymaster have you noticed anything amiss with Shang Qinghua?” 

The woman in black smiled. She leaned forward and chuckled. “Well, the only thing my eyes have seen is lots of paperwork and stress. An Ding truly is overworked, my heart goes out to them.” She winked at Gao Mingxing before slouching back in her chair like before. “If anything happens you will all be the first to know, especially you Gao-Shixiong.” Kai Mingmi tilted her head towards the man. He nodded back. 

“I don’t like it. I don’t like having a heavenly demon, half or not on our peaks. We should just chuck it down the mountain!” Zai Mingzai shouted. “The last one and most likely the whelps sire was a pain in the ass to deal with. All those cultivators and we still couldn’t kill him! Sealing him under a mountain with arrays that If looked at long enough could be broken by a new disciple! We lost too many cultivators to sealing that monster away, why let another one grow? I say we rip the weed out before it roots too deep to get rid of.” 

No one was expecting Shu Mingcao to vault herself over to him and break his nose. He attempted to jump up but she slammed him back into his chair with one arm while grabbing the front of his robes with the other. “We will not, under any circumstance, kill an innocent child.” The two of them were nose to nose as she held him up by his lapels. “That baby is innocent and has never harmed anyone.” She pushed him away from her and slowly walked back to her chair. 

“I agree with Gao-Shidi and Shu-Shimei, the child is innocent and perhaps raising a half-heavenly demon could be helpful. The demon realm has been thrown into chaos and is no longer kept in place by Tianlang-jun. Having a child who is technically the heir of the demon realm is a good move. Whether Shang-Shizhi knows this or not, he made an incredibly helpful decision.” An Minghai was smirking behind her fan. Watching Zai Mingzai get threatened and Shu Mingcao lose her composure was hilarious. “If he really did randomly find the child then let’s call it fate. And if he found the child because he somehow knew where he would be and that his mother would die giving birth, then let’s also call it fate. Either way we should use this to our advantage. We won’t be here to reap the rewards but our successors will.” 

Jin Mingbao nodded, “I find myself listening to my strategist. While I still see the boy as a danger and possible threat, the positives far outweigh the negatives. Gao Mingxing,” he looked over at his Shixiong. “Before we ascend I expect you to inform Shang-Shizhi of his wards parontage. I would also like for you to keep an eye on him. We don’t want any…unfortunate accidents or for certain people to also learn of the child’s blood.” 

Everyone in the room all knew who she was speaking of. Gao Mingxing sighed and nodded. He hated the idea of spying on his Xiao-Qinghua. He really did view the boy as the son he never had. “I will take precautions Zhangmen-Shixiong.” He stood up and bowed before leaving. Shu Mingcao quickly followed his leave, but not before giving the Bai Zhan Peak Lord a nasty glare. He glared back and stomped out the door behind her. 

“An-Shimei, please walk with me. I wish to discuss something with you.” Jin Mingbao stood and walked out. An Minghai had little choice but to follow. Before she left she looked back at Kai Mingmi. The woman was calmly drinking tea. Feeling someone looking at her, she turned and winked at her. An Minghai scuffed and left the hall. The wooden doors slammed shut, leaving the last peak lord to bask only in the light of flame. 

“Shizun, why didn’t you call out Shen-Shixiong for lying about Shang-Shixiong?” Her disciple, Wen Qingxing, morphed out of the shadows. He had done well being unnoticed by the other Peak lords. 

“I told you already, we will be ascending soon so the choices made about the future of the sect should be in your hands. If you decide to tell them or not, I will not stop you or question your choice.” She patted the seat next to her for him to sit. 

He plopped down and grabbed an empty tea cup. He rolled it around in his hand for a bit, thinking. “I don’t believe I’ll tell anyone yet about Shang-Shixiong’s demonic suitor.” 

His shizun raised an eyebrow. “Please continue. I would like to hear your reasoning. 

“Well the battle against Tianlang-jun caused many cultivators to die and many great spiritual devices to be depleted. Not only that but like An-Shibo said, the demon realm was kept relatively peaceful due to Tianlang-jun’s interest in human culture and without him the power struggle is causing many demons to cross the border. We are simply not in a good place if any demons decide to launch an invasion.” 

“Shang Qinghua seems to have been a spy for a few years and during those years we haven’t had many demon attacks. He seems to be playing them, telling them information that is effective enough they are satisfied but not enough that it does any real harm. If he truly wanted to betray Cang Qiong then he would have told his ice demon about how weak we are, but he hasn’t.  Instead he has seemingly seduced the new Mobei-Jun and taken in Tianlang-Jun’s orphaned son. He is either extremely smart or extremely stupid and lucky.” Wen Qingxing tossed the cup in the air and watched it fall onto the ground. It shattered. 

Kai Mingmi watched its fragments settle on the cold ground. “And what do you believe? Is he smart or stupid?” 

Her disciple took out his white fan and began to fan himself. “I would say smart. His information system is ever growing despite the fact he rarely leaves the mountain now that he’s a father. I find myself unable to fully grasp its true size or everyone that is in it. He has fooled the entire sect into believing he is a weak coward with no real want to further his cultivation. He tells everyone he has only just reached the required stage to become Peak lord but he had achieved that years ago. Shang Qinghua also has a strong affinity for healing, I saw him trip on a root and most likely break his foot. Instead of trying to get help, he cursed to himself before holding it in place and circulating his own qi to it. After a few minutes the swelling was mostly gone and he ran off.” 

“He is an enigma. I don’t understand him or his motives and when he lies I can’t help but believe him despite knowing the truth. He is incredibly dangerous and could easily poison the entire sect if he wanted to. Yet he doesn’t despite being a spy for the demon realm.” He stopped and looked over at his Shizun. He has only been watching him since the child was brought to the peaks. He wondered what he had missed when he thought that the An Ding successor was clumsy and unimportant. Little did he know the young man was growing a spy ring that could rival Ying Zi and seducing demon lords. Perhaps that’s how he knew of the half demon child. Was there a demon lord’s human lovers club that he met Su Xiyan at? 

She frowned, an expression she rarely had. Kai Mingmi believed that smiling all the time made people more scared of you. It was a belief she passed on to her successor. “Shang Qinghua knows more and is more than he seems and has connections we have yet to uncover. His eyes go from the human realm all the way to the royal courts of the demon realm, something we have never succeeded in. I agree with your choice to keep quiet. Shen Qingqiu has also reached a similar standing and he will be your strategist and tactician. Listen to him. It would also be easier to stay friends with the person who could destroy you with the snap of his fingers, then to make him your enemy. Besides, an alliance with the Northern Desert would be quite helpful for trade and ensuring our safety while the sect heals and my generation moves on.” 

Her disciple hums in agreement. “I do hope they all work out. It’ll be quite funny when the new Mobei-Jun shows up one day asking for Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu’s hands in marriage. Yue Qingyuan is going to have a Qi deviation when that happens.” Wen Qingxing smirked when he Shizun burst into laughter. 

“Oh that’s going to be so funny! His face is going to do that disappointed scrunch and that horribly sad smile. I’m going to miss it, aren’t I? Ah well, the mental image will simply have to be enough.” Kai Mingmi sighed and wiped the corners of her eyes. “I expect you to congratulate them for me when that happens. Tell Shang Qinghua congratulations on his harem, he’ll also go into a Qi deviation when you say it.” 

“Don’t worry Shizun, I will make sure he knows.” The two gremlins grinned at each other before once more disappearing into the shadows, in search of more secrets and potential gossip. 

Meanwhile on An Ding, Shang Qinghua is having a sneezing fit with Luo Binghe. “Ugh I should really dust soon.”

Chapter Text

Winter had arrived and with it the ever approaching day of Binghe’s birthday. Shang Qinghua stared at his paperwork blankly trying to figure out what a one year old likes. Sure he could take the easy way out by getting him new clothes or toys, but that was boring and his son deserved the world (albeit Luo Binghe having the potential to take over the world himself). He groaned, pulling his hands over his face before glaring at the baby. How dare he grow up. It seemed that not long ago the protagonist was nothing more than a small wrinkly baby. Now he had a few teeth and a head full of gorgeous black locks. 

Luo Binghe gurgled happily, waving Mi Tang’s tail in the air. He then made a few sounds that sounded an awful lot like words. Shang Qinghua grew more and more scared for the day his son finally started speaking. He would need to be more careful about what he says around him. Don’t want a toddler accidentally calling Qi Qingqi a narcissistic bitch or tell Mobei-Jun he has nice tits. The worst he could say would be anything to Shen Qingqiu, he didn’t want the kid accidentally calling him a scum villain or a tsundere. 

“Ugh, if that happened I would finally jump off the nearest cliff.” Shang Qinghua mumbled under his breath as he focused more on his work. It was something about the distribution of material for the sect's robes and bedding. All the robes and bedding. An important document, meaning Mi Tang was on duty distracting Binghe and keeping him away from ink and important papers. Was it sad that a Color Shifting Red Panda was better at distracting a child from ruining important documents then him? Maybe. Did he care? No. 

He finished reviewing the expenses and was about to draft up the final distribution of the fabric when a piliere knock sounded on his door. 

“Come in.” Shang Qinghua quickly jotted down his overall notes as his Shifu came into the house. Gao Mingxing smiled at the sight of Luo Binghe playing with Mi Tang’s tail before sitting across from his student. “Is there anything I can help you with Shifu?” 

“Ah yes there is. But first, how are you? Have you finished adjusting to your full workload and watching Xiao-Bingbing?” He smiled again at the baby who was now attempting to eat Mi Tang’s tail. 

“I believe I have finished adjusting to the workload and taking care of a baby. Binghe wasn’t happy about it at first but luckily he’s gotten much better at learning to be good when I’m doing something.” Luo Binghe spat out a mouthful of fur. Shang Qinghua wrinkled his nose in disgust, his son really needed to learn about germs. “Now what can I help you with?”

“I will be ascending in a few years and you will take over An Ding for me.” Gao Mingxing smiled sadly at his disciple. “You’ve grown so much my boy and seeing you step up and take care of Binghe, I have no doubt you will be a fine Peak Lord and teacher. Your numbers are excellent and the common people and merchants love you. ” 

Shang Qinghua felt something squirm in his gut. His Shifu was sweetening him up before he hits with a load of not super good news. “But…”

He chuckled a little at the others' impatience and perception. “But, I worry about your relationships with the other future peak lords.” There it was. “You get along well with a few and have even begun to stand up to their bullying but you don’t seem to get along with a select few.” 

Shang Qinghua leaned back and raised an eyebrow. Sure he might have a few disagreements but he overall felt like he got along okayish with the other successors. “And who would those be?” 

“You often fight with Qi Qingqi and don’t attempt to come to agreements with her over materials she asks for-“

“And those materials are most of the time extremely expensive or dangerous to get and she asks for them in large, nearly impossible, quantities. Plus most of the time it’s only because she wants cool new outfits.” 

“-you also seem to have grown a vendetta against Yue Qingyuan because of Shen Qingqiu.”

“…he knows what he did.” Shang Qinghua crossed his arms and pouted a bit. Sure he wrote Yue Qingyuan like that, but dealing with the man was another story. Yue Qingyuan in turn also seemed to not like him much because he ‘stole his precious Xiao-Jiu away from him’. 

“That is exactly why I need you to try a little harder to maintain friendly attitudes between peaks. Shen Qingqiu can get away with it because Qing Jing is not An Ding. We deal with logistics and I don’t want you to be caught up in petty arguments and cause instability for the peaks.” The older man sighed, rubbing his eyes. He suddenly looked much older than he normally did. Signs of his true age becoming relevant. “You are still young and have much to learn and room to grow. You will never get along perfectly with all your martial siblings but you should at least try. Please endeavor to not argue with Qi Qingqi as much and try to maintain some semblance of peace with Yue Qingyuan.” 

Shang Qinghua groaned and lightly banged his head on the table a few times. “Fine. But I won’t just roll over and let them do whatever. I finally started standing up for myself and I’m not stopping now.” He leveled his Shifu with a confident but annoyed look. His Shifu simply gave a relieved sigh. 

“Thank you little one. Now let’s talk about your dowry.” 

…WHAT!!! Are you high! Are you crazy! What DOWRY!!!

“What! Why! Huh!” He stuttered as his oh so evil Shifu chuckled. Why are you chuckling old man! This isn’t a funny joke, I’m not getting married! 

“Well you mentioned that you aren’t in contact with your family so I will be fulfilling the part of your father and Shu Mingcao has offered to fill in for your mother. If that is alright with you?” 

Shang Qinghua stammered and shook his head. What the hell was going on. He looked at Binghe to see if his sweet was hearing any of this bullshit. The baby was staring at Gao Mingxing with wide eyes before glancing at Shang Qinghua and giggling. Little shit. “Shifu, what are you talking about? I’m not getting married, why would you even think that?” 

Gao Mingxing stopped chuckling and suddenly became serious. “Now I understand that marriage isn’t for some people, me and Shu Mingcao are like that, but Binghe needs stability. There are also some nasty rumors about Shen Qingqiu and a few about you as well. The two of you getting married would put them to rest.”

“…”

“If you don’t get married, imagine how that could impact Binghe. What if his peers start gossiping about how he’s a child of an affair? Even if you are both peak lords, children can be cruel and exclude him because of it.” 

“…” 

“I would also like to be able to see the two of you married before I ascend. It would also be good for the common people since two peak lords marrying is a sign that the peaks are united and strong.” 

“…Shifu, me and Shen Qingqiu aren’t in a relationship.” 

Gao Mingxing was snapped out of his rant and blinked owlishly a few times. “But- then why is he over in the middle night and why does he sometimes stay the night. You can’t fool me Qinghua, I may be old but I’m not blind. I at least hope you have the decency to put silencing talismans and that Binghe isn’t in the room.” 

“We aren’t a couple and we aren’t fucking Shifu!” A small part of Shang Qinghua whispered not yet. “He just has horrible nightmares and problems sleeping alone. I don’t want to go into it without his permission to tell you but that’s all that’s happening.” Well that and Shen Qingqiu getting into verbal arguments with my ice demon boss/crush but I’m not going to tell you that. “He probably only sees me as a friend anyway.” 

[ …This System literally told you that you have unlocked the romance route for Shen Qingqiu and that he is whipped for you… {•_•} ]

His Shifu stared at him before grabbing a scroll and hitting his dumbass disciple over the head with it. “I’m not blind but you definitely are. That boy is head over heels in love with you!”

“Ow that hurt!” Shang Qinghua rubbed his head with an attempt at a scowl that came off as more of a pout. “Just leave me alone if you don’t actually have something important to do. It’s not funny.” 

His Shifu ignored him and shook his head muttering under his breath. Why did his disciple have to be so smart and yet so dumb? He sighed, sitting up straighter and taking a scroll out of somewhere. “I do have something ‘important’ for you. I want you to travel to the borderlands to update our contracts with our spirit stone merchants. You will do it without me accompanying you and you can consider it your…final test.” 

Shang Qinghua grabbed the scroll and began to read through it quickly. It was the original contract as well as some notes of where he would be going. It was, as his Shifu said, in the borderlands and far away. He hadn’t left the area around the Cang Qiong sect since he had (picked up) Binghe. If he went to the borderlands he would have to leave his sweet son behind. He didn’t want any…accidents with demons or certain gold wearing cultivators. The trip however would probably take a week to complete. 

“Shifu, if I go do this, and I am willing and ready to, who will watch Binghe?” 

“Well I was going to suggest having your fiancé watch him but I suppose your not fiancé will be fine.” Stupid stubborn old man. 

Shang Qinghua rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I guess I can ask Shen Qingqiu to watch Binghe. I’ve never left Binghe alone for more than a day though, what if something happens?” He looked at the baby protagonist who was chewing on a brush end without a care in the world. How in the world did he get that? 

“Don’t worry, if taking care of Xiao-Bingbing is too much for him, which I sincerely doubt, I will be willing to step in. Now I want you to leave tomorrow so go ask your not fiancé to watch your son.” His Shifu was going to take that to his ascension. 

“Yes Shifu. And we are not getting married!” He snapped before grabbing Binghe and leaving. He heard Gao Mingxing chuckling as he slammed the door. Maybe it was rude to storm out on a guest but he didn’t care. He created him and that ungrateful old jerk deserved it. Get married to Shen Qingqiu, ha! Hilarious. 

[ …Host…why must you ignore this system? ] 

I’m not ignoring you. 

[ Why does this system feel like you have regressed? It seemed like you had come to terms with the fact that both Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun had romantic designs on you, why do you now reject it? ] 

Because hearing someone out loud insinuate that one of them liked me sounded ridiculous. There is no way they like me, well romantically. I’m a loser. 

[ … -50 points for self hate and for not believing this system. ] 

Fuck you! 

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu sighed, watching the dew on the bamboo leaves outside slowly drip to the ground. His cup of tea turned his naturally cool hands warm. He takes a sip as another drop falls. A peaceful morning…broken by the sounds of a baby whimpering. He quickly pushed himself up and walked quickly over to his charge. 

Luo Binghe sits upright on the bed and grumpily huffs while waving his tiny hands. He had begun doing it two days ago when Shen Qingqiu’s A-Lei dropped him off. 

“Don’t worry about me, I'll be fine. It’s just a routine trip to the border. I’ll be back before you know it, A-Jiu.”  

Shen Qingqiu wished he didn’t have to go. Too far away. Too close to danger. Too easy to slip away and never be seen again- No he couldn’t think like that. A-Lei would never leave him. He wasn’t Qi-ge Yue Qingyuan. He would come back, after all Luo Binghe was here and he wouldn’t abandon his son. 

“AAAAAAAAH” the child screamed almost in anger that the future Qing Jing peak lord would dare question the loyalty of his father. 

“Forgive me little beast, I am simply worried for him.” Shen Qingqiu sniffed at the accusation before picking the child up. It would be good to make sure he ate something. 

He quickly carried him over to the small kitchen, grabbing a bowl of congee sweetened with lychee. The half demon stared at the bowl and whined in protest. ‘I don’t want to eat this!’ 

“Well I don’t want to force you to eat but here we are, now open up.” The young adult picked up the spoon and attempted to feed the baby. The little monster jolted his head to the side, sticky sweet congee smearing in his face and into his hair. 

Shen Qingqiu felt his eye twitch. His previous babysitting, as A-Lei called them, attempts had gone well. Luo binghe would behave himself and would eat his food. But those times had been much shorter. By now Luo Binghe had come to realize that he was stuck here for a while. 

“Stop. If you don’t behave yourself A-Lei will be very disappointed in you.” 

Luo Binghe began pouting, his lower lip trembling and tears welling in his eyes. Shen Qingqiu felt a headache approaching. Swearing under his breath he quickly set the spoon down and patted the child’s head. 

“Stop whining. He’ll be back before you know it.” He softened his voice, running his fingers through the soft mess of curls. He would have to ask A-Lei what he used on the brats head. There was no way that it was this soft on its own (it was that soft on its own, magic protagonist hair shit). Luo Binghe looked up with large watery eyes, his pout no longer quivering. He whimpered sadly before slowly opening his mouth. Thank the gods. 

After eating, most of it ending up in the little monster's belly, the child was given a quick bath before getting bundled up for going outside. Shen Qingqiu didn’t really want to go outside but he still had responsibilities. Responsibilities that required him to teach a music class on the theory of musical cultivation. A simple class often taught to the young disciples of Qing Jing. Of course his Shizun didn’t have any more inner disciples so all the snot nosed brats would be outer disciples. 

Shen Qingqiu dreaded the class, knowing that the brats wouldn’t pay any attention to him. No, they would be too busy cooing over the sects resident ‘cutie-pie with his cute lil nose’. While he cared deeply for A-Lei and even loved him, his baby talk made him want to reconsider. 

“Mahbahaaaa!” Binghe helpfully agreed. He obviously didn’t enjoy being talked down to. 

“Exactly, now be good and quiet, like you were yesterday when I was practicing. These talentless idiots won’t actually be playing so your ears will be saved the torture.” Shen Qingqiu unconsciously smiled as the baby wrapped tight against his chest made more happy gurgles and babbles. As much he loathes to admit, the beast really was adorable. “Oh gods I’m going soft.”

“Yah!” 

Shen Qingqiu froze, the sounds of bamboo lightly smacking each other and the distant sound of sect members hard at work. He looked down at the baby who looked back up at him with an equally shocked expression. “Did you just…respond to me?”

“Awablahyaaaa.” The baby, almost seriously, babbled. He giggled as if it was the funniest thing in the world. ‘ Must have been a random outburst. He wasn’t actually responding, just babbling.’ Shen Qingqiu shook his head and began walking towards their destination again. 

“Don’t try to speak anymore, at least until A-Lei gets back. He would be heartbroken if he missed your first word.” The man muttered. ‘I would also be heartbroken if I missed your first word’ he didn’t say. He hated how A-Lei and Binghe had carved a home for themselves in his chest. He would be ruined if they ever decided they didn’t need him anymore. Gah, he just needed to clear his head and not be so reliant upon them for his happiness. 

Shen Qingqiu avoided a puddle of melting snow. The last few days had been surprisingly warm for the end of the year. Hopefully it didn’t signal a harsh snowstorm coming. While most of the peaks would only get a simple dusting around where they lived, Qing Jing would get covered. It was one of the taller mountains after all. 

As he pondered the weather, he came up to the hall that the class would be in. He could already hear the chattering of the disciples. Annoying and shrieking. He would rather listen to the little beast scream his head off than the noise of others. At least the kid was somewhat cute. 

As he stepped into the hall, everyone shut up. Either because of his notorious temper or the happy child strapped to his chest. Shen Qingqiu didn’t Falter as he sat down and opened his notes. “I will not be repeating anything so pay attention. If I suspect you of not paying attention you will be punished.” He coldly glared at the students as they immediately straightened up. “Now let’s begin with the basics…”

Shen Qingqiu wanted to hit his head against a wall. The class had gone somewhat okay. None of the disciples appeared to be not paying attention but a few looked lost. Oh well they weren’t his disciples. Luo binghe had also behaved himself well. Only fussing when he dropped his stuffed dog. After the class, they then went to the kitchens to pick up a quick meal for Shen Qingqiu and some congee for Binghe. One of the kitchen aunties had immediately began cooing at the baby before forcing Shen Qingqiu to sit down and eat more. She had called him too skinny and dainty looking. Had likened him to a lone leaf stubbornly refusing to detach from its tree. 

He had not been amused but didn’t wish to anger the women in charge of the kitchens. He knew she meant well but the smithing was…not enjoyable. The beast seemed to thrive off his mild irritation. Like a leech that lived off of others discomfort and annoyance. 

After escaping the kitchens, Shen Qingqiu had wanted to go back to his little bamboo house and read. He was also worried that the little beast’s…beast would eat his walls. Mi Tang was a demon in disguise, he was sure of it. Always slinking around and stealing his fans. The creature would act pathetic and stupid around Shang Lei, but once away from Shang Lei, it would get a malicious gleam in its beady black eyes. Shen Qingqiu didn’t trust it as far as he- no as far as gods damned Liu Qingge could throw it. One of these days it would reveal itself and when it did he would turn it into a fur trim. 

But even the creature wasn’t what made him want to bash his brains in. Oh no, that right was reserved for the FUCKING ICE DEMON ROYALTY LOUNGING ON HIS BED! 

This wasn’t An Ding Peak. This wasn’t Shang Lei’s house where he didn’t care about demons throwing their shit and hair everywhere. This was Qing Jing peak. And this was Shen Qingqiu’s house. And that was Shen Qingqiu’s fucking bed. And if that spoiled brat didn’t get off of it immediately he was going to scream. 

But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t scream or bash his head in. No he would breathe and deal with it. Just in and out like A-Lei told him. Yes he could be calm. 

“Where’s Qinghua?”

You know what,he couldn’t do this. Just his deep brooding voice made him feel crazy. 

“Why don’t you use what little brain you have to figure it out, your highness” Shen Qingqiu hissed, pulling Binghe closer to himself. The baby lucky seemed to enjoy the extra hugs. 

Mobei-Jun frowned and looked deep in thought for a moment. “He is doing work outside of the sect?” 

Wow he actually figured it out. What a surprise. “No he’s gone off on a vacation to find the fucks I give. Of course he’s out doing sect business! How daft are you?” Gods, he was really starting to see the appeal of being constantly drunk on Zui Xian now. 

The demon looked as crestfallen as an ice faced demon could. It almost made him feel bad, almost. He could just hear A-Lei berating him for being rude. Shit, if he was mean the demon would just eat him out to A-Lei. 

Grumbling, he walked over to the bed. “Move over.”  The demon moved over. Shen Qingqiu sat on it next to him and handed over the little beast. The baby looked overjoyed to see someone else. “As long as you don’t destroy things or broadcast your presence everywhere I won’t kick you out. Gods know that A-Lei would be disappointed if I did.” 

Mobei-Jun looked over at the cultivator intensely. It felt almost violating with how he seemed to peak back layers of his soul only to dig his filthy claws into it. The demon slowly blinked a few times. Shen Qingqiu slowly blinked back as well, wondering if this was some sort of weird demon hazing ritual. 

Whatever he did seemed to appease the demon lord as he gave a small upturn of his lips and patted the future peak lord on the head. He then turned his attention back to the baby eating his hair in his lap. 

Shen Qingqiu was frozen at what just happened. Did-did he just befriend the demon? That wasn’t his goal at all. He didn’t want to befriend this obvious brute who had previously injured his A-Lei. He didn’t want to be friends with his rival. He silently began seething in anger. Oh he would pretend to be his friend. Up until it came time for him to snatch A-Lei and the little beast from under his claws. The demons face in defeat would be priceless. 

*******

Mobei-Jun felt himself bubbled up with more of the warm feeling in his chest. Sure Qinghua wasn’t there but he was making progress in courting the prickly future peak lord as well. The man had responded to his obvious sign of trust with the slow blinking. 

Clearly things were working out quite well. Him and his future husband's second wife would get along nicely.  If everything goes this smoothly then the three of them might all love each other. Of course he would love Qinghua the most followed by Binghe, but he wasn’t opposed to loving another. It might even be nice. He hoped that Qinghua was doing okay on his quest. He would be overjoyed to find the two of them getting along after returning. 

Mobei-Jun happily bounced Luo Binghe, planning out his perfect future. Completely oblivious to Shen Qingqiu’s maniacal scheming. 

Chapter Text

By some divine grace the next week passes by peacefully. Luo Binghe refrains from throwing any tantrums and Mobei-Jun somehow stays undiscovered. The only bad thing was that the ice demon had decided to sleep in Shen Qingqiu’s bed with Shen Qingqiu. It was horribly unpleasant but for some reason he would sleep through the night easily. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know if he should feel lucky that it was going this well or fearful for when it would ultimately implode. 

Unfortunately he was right. 

The day started out like all the others of that past week, with Luo binghe waking him up with his tiny gurgles. Shen Qingqiu attempted to get up to take care of his  A-Lei’s baby, only to have the filthy demon get up instead and take care of him. This quite honestly made his head hurt since the image of a large demon carefully minding his claws to brush Binghe’s hair didn’t fit with how he used to view demons. 

Maybe they aren’t as bad as I thought… Shen Qingqiu shook his head to rid himself of such traitorous thoughts. He was only putting up with the demon because it made his A-Lei happy and because they would need a demon to train the little beast when he was older. Yes that’s all. No need to think any deeper than that. That is the only reason I put up with him. He has no other uses and I am not becoming endeared to him. That would be stupid. 

Just then Luo Binghe giggled and smacked Mobei-Jun in the head. The demon only gave the baby a small smile. Shen Qingqiu quickly went to his wardrobe pretending that he didn’t feel a hint of heat fill his cheeks. 

Meanwhile, near a small town at the border of the human and demon realm…

“GOD! SHIT! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Shang Qinghua screamed as he dashed through the barren landscape, ducking behind boulders to avoid the giant fucking fire balls coming towards him. He really shouldn’t have believed that sleazy looking rogue cultivator or listened to his system…. 

He had originally arrived at the town disguised as a simple rogue cultivator and met up with a very badly disguised demon. The two of them both knew the other's identity but they weren’t going to say it aloud. Spirit stones were quite common in the demon realm while rare in the human realm. So many of the so called ‘righteous’ sects had dealings with the demon realm. Gasp, shocker. Either way the two of them talked over the contract and there was little revising. In fact Shang QInghua was able to swing the deal in his favor because the totally-not-a-demon had said “You smell of the bitter north and the minerals that lay under their frozen ground. You’re very lucky to have one under your thumb, Spirit-breaker.” 

Okay, cool. Shang Qinghua was just going to smile and nod. He has no clue what that means or why his new nickname is apparently ‘Spirit-breaker’. (This nickname was from the stories in the demon realm of the feral cultivator who worked for one of the northern demons who knew everything and could make anyone confess to anything. A cryptid whose story was told to young demons to make them cooperate. After all, if you don’t eat all your eyeballs then the Spirit-breaker will appear and drag you screaming into its dark cave of terrors. Many young demons now eat all their eyeballs.) 

Either way, it ended well with a happy ding from the system on a job well done. 

[ +150 points for succeeding in getting a more than satisfactory deal with the head of the tunneling demons {>3<} ]

Wait, that was the leader! Holy shit! Do they view Cang Qiong as THAT important for their trades?

[ ……sure. Host has a potential quest available in the tavern. Completing it will give host a special *UPGRADE* and +569 points. ]

Sounds suspicious…I’m in!

So he went to the tavern and listened to the rogue cultivator who was missing an eye, ear, and foot. He was telling a story of a secret treasure out in the wastes and how it was hidden behind a handful of puzzles. Shang QInghua, one of the nerdiest nerds to ever nerd, immediately went to where the old man said the treasure was… Yeah, puzzles his ass!

Instead of a riddle or sudoku, he’s got a Giant Fire Hurling Raven Mouse chasing him. You would think that the mouse part would make it smaller and a giant version is one that comes up to your knees but nope! It just means he’s got a giant raven with big ass mouse ears and a bunch or creepy little claws coming out of its neck and body. It also had three of those gross fleshy tails that moved more like tentacles than tails. Gross. 

As he reminisced on how his biggest Anti fan would have probably nutted his pants to see this creature in real life, a fireball that the Giant Fire Hurling Raven Mouse threw up, yep the hurl is the hurl as in throwing up, at him destroyed the rock he had been behind. Looking around frantically, he realized he had nowhere left to run. Cursing under his breath, he took out his sword, XiaoLu. So he wasn’t good at naming things, sue him. 

He quickly jumped on the sword and flew towards the monster. God he really didn’t like fighting things. 

Back on Qing Jing peak…..

“What do you mean you lost him!?” Shen Qingqiu screamed at the stupid oaf in front of him. Mobei-Jun frowned at him before hanging his head in defeat. 

“This king is sorry, Luo Binghe is quick and you left the door open.” 

Shen Qingqiu stared at him in disbelief. “Are you blaming me for leaving the door open? You were the one watching him!” 

“Qinghua asked YOU to look after Luo Binghe.”

“And yet A-Lei will have BOTH our heads if he comes back and discovers his precious son is missing. Neither of us will be able to eat on our own once he’s done with us.” They both shuddered at the thought of an angry Shang Qinghua. “Now let’s work together to find him before something happens. Now wear this talisman, don’t give me that look! It will help keep your demonic energy down so we don’t have to worry about any alarms going off.” 

Mobei-Jun carefully took the paper and plastered it to his chest. It…looked weird and made him feel wrong as he felt his suppressed energy seemingly disappear. Shen Qingqiu then looked out his door before waving the ice demon forward. “Splitting up will cover more ground.” He said as he looked out the door, trying to see if his eyes could make out the tiny demon's energy. Sadly Luo Binghe’s seal was only visible if in close proximity and the bright glow of spiritual energy around everything on the peak made his head hurt a bit. 

“No, you don’t know my peak. I also don’t trust you to not run into one of my disciples. Unlike A-Lei’s they won’t turn a blind eye to your presence.” The peak lord grabbed the demon's hand and began to drag him into the bamboo surrounding the hut. There had been some small footprints leading into the swaying stalks. 

You better be nearby, little beast. Shen Qingqiu felt a seed of terror and fear unfold in his chest at the idea of Luo Binghe crawling off one of the steep cliffs or into a pond. The baby being alone and feeling abandoned. He didn’t like it. Didn’t like how familiar it felt, how it reminded him of a locked room and Qi-ge saying he would be back.  No, he would find Luo Binghe. He would find him quickly. 

He pulled the demon along, swerving between stalks of swaying bamboo as he followed the small tracks. Never before had he been so grateful for mud. “How quickly can this brat move.” He muttered under his breath. The demon gave an agreeable hum. 

“One would think him to be half Daylight Running Hare Demon.” Shen QIngqiu gave Mobei-jun a quick sideways glance before looking back at the prints. As they continued running, the head disciple suddenly realized they were running towards the halls. 

“I swear if that little beast ran indoors..” Shen Qingqiu snarled. Dragging a demon through the forests of a great sect was suicidal, dragging a demon through the halls of a great sect was not just suicidal, it was what people did when they were completely braindead. And it looks like he was about to do that if the tiny muddy footprints running right into the hall meant anything. “I assume you are not willing to stay unseen in the woods.”

“Yes.”

“Great, if we get caught, I will kill you.” He stared right at the demon, daring him to say something, anything. All he did was give one of his stupid chuckles. The future peak lord scuffed and ran into the hall with the future lord of the north on his heels. They continued following the muddy prints as they led through the twisting hallways. After following them for a few minutes they disappeared. “Shit.” He was about to say something when quiet chatter and noise began to come from one of the adjoining hallways. 

The two froze as they heard footsteps come closer and closer to them. Shen QIngqiu, eyes wide, quickly looked around for somewhere he could shove an ice demon. There! He saw a small door, most likely a closet for writing supplies, and pulled the demon towards it. He opened the door and pulled the demon in before softly shutting the door. He sighed quietly and tried to back up, only to immediately hit Mobei-jun’s chest behind him. Shit, he had forgotten to keep himself out of the closet. These closets were probably the most cramped place on the entire peak, An DIng often being called to expand them or just build more. SO of course there was little room for two young men. 

Movie-Jun attempted to adjust himself only to accidentally knock a scroll off the shelf. He quickly reached out and caught it only for a brush to fall which Shen QIngqiu caught right before it landed on a stack of inkstone boxes that most certainly would have fallen over if hit. “Don’t fucking move” He hissed at the demon face, which was very close to his. He looked away from the demon’s bright blue eyes and at a very interesting incense burner that could barely be seen peeking out of a pile. A strange creature was on it, possibly a rare demonic one. 

He continued to try to ignore the weight of the demon’s stare and the cool chill that emanated from his body. If not for that chill, he is certain his ears would be bright red (His ears were bright red and Mobei-Jun was incredibly tempted to see if he had developed a fever. Humans turned red when sick after all. QInghua was sick a lot). They heard the footsteps pass by the door and stop in front of it. Very slowly, Movie-jun reached his free hand around Shen Qingqiu’s waist and placed it on the door handle. 

As soon as he did that the person in the hallway attempted to pull open the door. It didn’t budge since well a very strong demon was keeping it closed. “Huh, that’s strange, I thought this door was supposed to remain unlocked. Do you think I should find a hallmaster to open it?” A high whiny voice questioned, tugging on the door a few more times. 

“Let’s not. All we need is some more blank scrolls, there are about a million of them in the other storage closet.”

“But it’s on the other side of the hall-”

“You can walk a little bit more, you’re not a lazy An Ding disciple are you?” The two disciples, no worms, laughed. Both Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun had to suppress the urge to throw the door open and pummel those stupid humans. How dare they insult their SHang Qinghua’s peak! 

Rage suppressed, they waited for the footsteps to disappear before the human turned around and stuck his head out the door. All clear. He dragged Mobei-Jun out of the closet and iinto the hallway before dashing towards the nearest exit. The two then made their way back into the bamboo populated woods. They walked together quietly for a bit until Mobei-jun’s head shot up.

“This way, I can smell his shampoo.” Mobei-Jun tugged at their still connected hands and began to dash back towards the house. It seemed that the nearly one year old liked moving around. Not long after they came up to the house, the door opened and a familiar energy inside. “There is someone in there with Binghe.” The demon darkly said, his grip becoming tighter and claws beginning to dig in. 

“Shit.” The peak lord cursed under his breath before pushing the demon back into the woods. “My stupid Shidi is in there, go hide and don’t let anyone see you.” He hissed, ignoring the rumbling growl that had been building in the others finely sculpted chest. He froze for a second at that intrusive thought. 

Shaking that totally random thought away, he stalked up to the house, hand on XiuYa, just in case. Shen Qingqiu sped up when he heard a squeal. Inside, Liu Qingge was holding Luo Binghe trying to keep the child from pinching and poking his mole. “Shen Qingqiu, I was stopping by to make sure that you were keeping him alive and imagine my surprise when I found him alone in the forest.” 

Gods, he hates this bitch. How dare he judge his skill at taking care of Binghe when it’s all that demon's fault. “This one and Binghe were playing in the woods, I got worried when it appeared that someone swooped in and snatched him away.” Shen Qingqiu coldly stated, opening his fan in front of his face. He reached his other arm out for the child. 

Liu Qingge visibly stiffened before slowly handing over the baby. “Just keep a better eye on him.” He scoffed before making for the door. He suddenly paused and picked something off the floor. A small silver chain with a glowing dark blue gem. To be specific, a Night Ice Diamond. A gem that only formed in the Northern areas of the demon realm. Damn.

“Ah Liu Qingge, it appears that you are finding all the things I misplaced. I had been studying that. I wanted to see if there were any unknown qualities to it. If I could have it back.” He put his fan away and held out his hand.  Liu Qingge looked at him suspiciously before scoffing again. 

“You shouldn’t leave things like that around Luo Binghe. What if he eats it?” He then dramatically left, his ponytail swaying behind him like a judgemental snake. Thank the gods that his Shidi is too stupid to know the difference between a normal rock and one from the demon realm. A few minutes later, Mobei-Jun slipped back into the house and closed the door. 

Shen Qingqiu glared at him angrily before throwing the gem at him. The tall demon caught it and calmly placed it back on one of his horns. It must have fallen when he bowed his head in shame over losing the child. “Be more careful about your stupid shit.You’re luckily I can lie easily and that Liu Qingge is denser than you!” 

“Hmm, this king is grateful.” Mobei-Jun slightly nodded his head. Shen Qingqiu felt more confusion bubble up inside him. Why the hell was the demon being civil to him now? Weren’t they at each other's throats not too long ago. “This king will endeavor to become closer to Qingqiu’s wishes.”

Shen Qingqiu felt his eye twitch violently. “Excuse me, did I give you permission to address me like that?” The ice demon snorted and folded his arms. Stupid arrogant glacier. “Don’t do that again okay? Next time you try to act all buddy buddy (a term he learned from A-Lei) with me, I will shove a hot poker in your ears until all that ice is cleared out and you can properly hear what I am saying.” Mobei-Jun chuckled at that. His deep voice echoing around SHen qingqiu’s head. Gods it was really deep and attracti-

“Get out.” His face began heating up. There was no way he was having those kinds of thoughts. Definitely not about another man, much less a demon. The only dumbass allowed in his mind rent free (another piece of “slang” taught by A-Lei) and there was not enough room for a very pretty ice demon……. Oh no, he’s pretty!

A cold hand on his forehead snapped him out of his thoughts. Despite that, he didn’t flinch. Mobei-Jun gave a thoughtful hum, “Your face turned red, I thought you were overheating…But you only seem to be a little warmer than usual...You shouldn’t die.” He removed his hand only to push a strand of hair behind the flustered future peak lord’s ear. Shen Qingqiu was speechless. “I will not leave until Qinghua comes back, we must show him a united front.” The ice demon thankfully then pulled away and sat down. 

Shen QIngqiu was still frozen, staring at the demon trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It wasn’t until the little beast made an angry grumble that he snapped out of it. “Let’s get you something to eat,little beast.” He mumbled mostly to himself, still not back to normal. He wasn’t any better in the kitchen, watching the baby mash up his congee and spread it all over his face rather than ingesting it. He found himself not really caring. I’m probably just imagining things, this just might be how ice demons show…tolerance? Yeah no, that wasn’t it. 

“There’s no way…it’s not possible. He’s trying to court A-Lei.” He whispered. Yes he is, but many demons have multiple relationships. It’s common even for demons to have multiple spouses. Shen Qingqiu rubbed his face trying to think of some other answer but he couldn’t find one. Shit.

He quickly wiped off Binghe’s hands and face. “Please tell me I’m just being crazy.” The baby simply smiled at him, little fucker. Shen Qingqiu picked up Binghe and slowly walked into the room that held a possibly mentally deranged demon. Mobei-Jun was sitting next to his desk holding something comically small in his hands. 

Interested, Shen Qingqiu sat at his desk and placed Luo Binghe between them. The ICe demon gave a small smile to the baby and placed whatever he had been fidgeting with on the desk. It was the brush that Shen Qingqiu had caught in the closet and forgotten. He didn’t even remember setting it down. Mobei-Jun looked over at Shen QIngqiu and nodded stoically at him. 

Shen Qinqiu felt the urge to rip out his hair. Why, why was he finding this stupid, dense as fuck, demon attractive. It made no sense to him, A-Lei he could understand but Mobei-Jun. Insanity. He was going insane. 

Giving into the urge he slammed his head down on the table and let out a guttural groan. Mobei-Jun, who jumped a little at the future lord’s movement, gently patted his head, being careful not to pull his hair out of its placement. Shen QIngqiu began to melt under the gesture. Perhaps this wasn’t too bad. 

Just as he began to relax the door slammed open and Shen QIngqiu jumped up pushing Mobei-Jun down onto the ground, behind his desk. Luo Binghe meanwhile started giggling and shrieking, clapping his hands at the chaos. 

Shang Qinghua stood in the doorway, out of breath and with the tips of his hair singed and out of place. His eyes were alight with manic glee and he was clutching a bag that looked as if it was leaking blood. He stumbled into the house and shut the door. 

“I swear to god, I am never fighting a fucking monster again. Fuck those pieces of fucking shit.” he tossed the bag to Mobei-Jun who was now sitting up again. He opened the bag and pulled out three round spheres that glowed orange. They flickered and changed like a fire. 

“Giant Fire Hurling Raven Mouse fire gems. You killed it yourself?” The demon looked at his Qinghua with amazement. QInghua nodded, plopping down at the table and pulling Binghe into his lap. He was so strong. 

Shen QInqiu snatched one of the balls and twisted it around. “These are from its throat and help them create their fireballs. They can also be used as portable heaters and also as a boost to ones qi as well if meditated with.” He was quite impressed with his A-Lei, he was stronger than he looked.

Shang QInghua nodded, giving his son a forehead kiss and getting a giggle in return. “Yeah and in an emergency can create a giant explosion of fire while protecting the one who holds it. There are three so I thought it would be usual for each of us to have one. DOn’t look at me like that my king, since the heat wouldn’t hurt you it could come in handy if your uncle tries anything. He wouldn’t expect you to create a giant fireball now would he!” 

He grinned at the two, a human and a demon, who looked back at him with soft love and admiration. He was much too kind to them. “Thank you, A-Lei. This is a fantastic gift.” SHen QIngqiu smiled at him before coming to sit at his left side. Mobei-Jun replicated him and sat at his right. 

“Qingqiu is correct, this is much appreciated.” Shang Qinghua began to furiously blush and stammer at what the two said as they caged him in from both sides. 

“I-I it’s nothin’. You guys are just being dramatic.” He looked down at his son in order to avoid their eyes. Luo Binghe also looked up at him with love. “Anyway what did you do while I was gone huh?” 

Luo Binghe appeared to think about something really hard in his tiny curl covered hair. His little pout quickly turned to a small toothy smile. “Mama!” He giggled as the three adults all looked at him shocked and confused. 

“W-what?” Shang Qinghua stammered trying to figure out what just happened. 

“Mama! Mama!” The nearly one year old called out again, reaching up towards his “mama’s” face. 

“Where- What- How?! Why do you know that word? Who taught you? That’s your first word! Oh my god!” He was shocked, confused, and delighted to be honest. He was happy that his son said his first word in front of him but why did he have to call him mama?

“I have no idea where he got that word from.” Shen QIngqiu murmured looking at the little beast with stunned shock. 

Mobei-Jun gave a grunt of agreement. He was lying, see demons viewed who was the mother and who was the father of a child as slightly differently. Usually the one who mainly took care of and raised the child would be called a mama and the other one, or ones, would be referred to as baba. But of course this could differ from demon to demon so it really just came down to preference. He didn’t know that Qinghua preferred baba, he should have asked first. 

“You know what fine, I am too tired to deal with this shit. I’ve been traveling a lot, fighting a lot, I handed those stupid stones and contracts over to the big man and now all I want is some food and a bath.” He threw his hands in the air and quietly screamed at both the heavens and the system. God he was so fucking tired. 

[ This system is rooting for you!!! {^3^} ]

Oh shut up!

Chapter Text

“Mamaaaaaaaa, I’m hoooooooot.” Luo Binghe whined from Shang Qinghua’s arms. The three year old had been complaining and squirming for the past thirty minutes over having to stand outside under the surprising hot early May sun. 

Shang Qinghua shushed him, looking over at Jin Mingbao, who was giving him the polite version of a sneer for his kid complaining. It’s not his fault she’s having them practice the ascension ceremony over and over again. Three year olds have little patience and Luo Binghe was one of the patient ones. He had originally planned on having one of his An Ding Shimei’s watch over him but something had come up so now here he was dragging a three year old around in circles. 

The place where they would be ascending was an ornate stage carved from some kind of white marble on Qiong Ding. Multiple generations of Peak lords had ascended from it with each ascension being gaudier than the last. And since it was increasingly getting more and more elaborate, it meant that Shang Qinghua and his Shifu had been acting like headless chickens trying to get everything together. Jin Mingbao wanted perfection and she was going to get it. The poor transmigrator sighed and kissed the top of his son's head. He didn’t want to be there either. 

The ascension was to take place in five days and already the peaks had begun to get things ready. An Ding of course was responsible for getting everything into the sect while Zui Xian got all the food and wine ready. And what an amount of wine there was. Wine for inviting guests, wine for saluting the old peak lords, wine for saluting the current peak lords, wine to send the current peak lords off, wine to ring in the new peak lords, and wine to celebrate a successful ascension ceremony. In other words, everyone was going to get wasted. 

Shang Qinghua used to get drunk off his ass on the few nights after meeting with his parents in his former life, it was cheaper than therapy, and it somewhat followed him into this life. Had a bad day? Take a few shots of baijiu. Some peak is refusing to hand over expense reports again? Have a bottle of baijiu. Get convinced you’re gonna get executed for being a filthy traitor to sect tomorrow? Get blackout drunk on baijiu. 

Now though getting drunk never happened for him. Sure he would have a glass or two at celebrations or at the meetings when provided, but he never sought it out. Shang Qinghua didn’t want his son to see him as an alcoholic with issues. And taking care of a toddler while drunk was a horrible idea. What if he fell and hurt himself and Shang Qinghua was too drunk to fly them over to Qian Cao? It was not a good idea in the slightest. 

But today was really testing his patience. If he had to do this stupid walk one more time with an overly bored toddler he was just going to leave. He’s An Ding no one would notice him missing. He glanced over to where Gao Mingxing was standing looking like he was mentally not there. In fact, most of the peak lords were looking a little distant. All except Jin Mingbao who was doing her best impression on an army general. 

“Shang-Shidi, is Luo-Shizhi okay? Children really shouldn’t be out in direct heat too much.” Mu Qingfang quietly asked, pulling the transmigrator out of his thoughts, imagining clearly Jin Mingbao in green camo and combat boots. 

He looked down at his son who was sadly looking at the ground. It was uncannily unlike his energetic self. System forbid the protagonist was a quiet well mannered child. 

[ So cruel to your son. {x-x} }

What? He is energetic. 

[ The protagonist is very well-mannered ] 

I never said he wasn’t well mannered! How dare you accuse me of thinking my son was a disturbance- 

A cough snapped Shang Qinghua from his arguing with the system as Mu Qingfang gave him a strange look. Great one more person who thought he was insane. “Yeah, Bing-bing is getting a little hot.”

“Hmm that makes sense, he doesn’t seem to be too ill but sun sickness is no joke. I hope this ends before he passes out or vomits.”

Said bing-bing decided to then come alive and look at Mu Qingfang, gears or the toddler equivalent turning as he tried to figure out what was going on. The future An Ding and Qian Cao peak lords could only watch in horror as the child put two and two together. 

Luo Binghe then burst into tears and began to sniffle. “Mamaaaaaa, it’s so warm. My head hurts, my tummy hurts. Gonna throw up.” He said everything just loud enough to be heard but not enough that it seemed fake. Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but feel so proud of the master manipulator he was raising. The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree and it was time for him to play his role. 

He immediately crouched down and set the three year old on the ground and felt his forehead. Mu Qingfang also dropped down, giving the two a look that screamed that he knew what was going on. “Are you okay Baobei? Do you need water, shade?” This only made the crocodile tears fall more and more. 

“M-my head h-hurts, I’m no good.” He clutched his stomach and tried to curl into himself. The other peak lords and head disciples were now all watching this well played show. Gao Mingxing, Jin Mingbao, and Shu Mingcao were all heading over, two looking concerned. However all three were quickly eclipsed by a whirl of green that flew in and picked up Luo Binghe. 

“Really Mu Qingfang my son is clearly in pain and you are just sitting here doing nothing!” The green man snapped at the stunned doctor who began to pull a water pouch from a qiankun pouch sewn into his sleeve. Shang Qinghua couldn’t do much but stare shocked at the scene of his boyfriend (his boyfriend!!) taking care of Binghe and ordering people away as they tried to crowd around. He still couldn’t get over the fact that they were together romantically. Even more unbelievable, he had two boyfriends. Two boyfriends who mostly got along and doted on his sweet little son. Really it was more than enough to melt this old author's heart. 

“Shouldn’t we get him to Qian Cao peak, there could be something wrong with him!” Shen Qingqiu hissed at Shu Mingcao as she and Mu Qingfang tried to calm him down. Luo Binghe seemed to be in much less distress despite the tears still falling. 

“Shen-Shizhi, Luo Binghe is likely just a bit tired and perhaps a little sun sick. Some time in the shade with more water will make him feel much better.” She looked down to Shang QInghua who was still sitting on the ground for help. He stumbled upright and went over to the crying toddler and the hissing head disciples. 

“Binghe, do you want to go sick in the shade for a little bit and see if you feel better or go over to Qian Cao?” Luo Binghe looked up from his Baba’s shoulder with wide eyes and a bit of not coming from his nose, gross. The toddler hated Qian Cao peak, he would always cry and throw a tantrum whenever he had to go visit his Shishu for an appointment. 

His head of curly black hair shook side to side. “I wanna shade.” He sniffled and buried his head once more in the once pristine green robe again. Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu looked at each other before glancing at their respective peak lord and the sect leader. Gao Mignxing looked like he himself was about to cry as well while An Minghai looked over to Jin Mingbao for her answer. 

“...Go and rest for a little bit, we will resume without you.” She then glared at everyone else before resuming her campaign against all of them. Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua took off for a nearby pavilion to rest his Binghe. As soon as they sat down, the author couldn’t help but giggle a bit. 

“What about this situation is funny A-Lei, our son could have passed out!” The green clad man hissed and smacked the other with his fan. Luo Binghe reclined in his lap and watched the interaction quietly. He was no longer actively sobbing but he still seemed like he was a half step away from starting again. 

Shang Qinghua reached over and pinched his son's cheek and hid his smile when a disciple came over with water for the three of them. “Because my sweet little son is a natural actor, we should send off to join an opera.” Binghe smiled up at him and slowly sipped his water. His large black eyes focussed on the forms of his martial family as they walked and weaved around each other, practicing the ceremony. 

“What do you mean by that! Are you insinuating that he faked feeling ill?” 

“What, like you weren’t two minutes away from dramatically falling down in front of Yue Qingyuan. He probably would have somehow canceled the rest of practice for the day if he thought his precious XIao-Jiu was feeling icky.” That earned him a punch to the side and a gasp of offense. 

“I think I prefer you being too scared to say anything slightly rude to me. What happened to my pitiful A-Lei?” His smile was peeking from behind the edges of his fan. 

“Well, I realized that you won't throw me away if I am a little snarky.” Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but smile stupidly at the pretty man next to him. Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes but took the other’s hand in his own. A comfortable silence fell over them as they watched the other peak lords and head disciples. Luo Binghe however soon got bored, pushing himself up and toddling over towards the flower bushes around the little pavilion. 

His little pudgy hands did their best to pluck some off and theme an over, his fluffy hair bouncing with his uneven steps until he reached Shang Qinghua. The three year old grinned as he carefully set the slightly squashed flowers in his hair. The author smiled at his precious little creation and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you Binghe, I feel very pretty now.” 

The half demon child giggled a little, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Mama always pretty.” Luo Binghe then froze and pulled back. He ran back to the bush and ripped some more flowers off. Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but feel bad for whoever was in charge of tending to the bush, Jin Mingbao would probably yell at them for the lack of flowers later. 

Shen  Qingqiu raised a brow as Luo Binghe began to put some of the flowers he had collected in his hair as well. “Baba pretty too.” The toddler giggled and sat down in between the two adults, leaning back on their entwined hands. 

“Why do you still have some flowers in your hand, do you want some in your hair?” Shang QInghua asked, pushing a loose piece of hair behind the toddlers ear. Luo Binghe shook his head rapidly from side to side. “Aaaaah is it for someone else?” Binghe nodded. 

He then sat up and whispered in Shang Qinghua’s ear “It’s for Diedie, so he can also be pretty.” Binghe played with some of the petals, smooshing the delicate petals with his fingers. Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but feel that only flower mush would make it to Mobei-Jun. 

“I’m sure he’ll love that Binghe.” He gently ruffled his son’s hair, the kid lighting up the pavilion with his bright smile. Aaaaaah my son is so cute! Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but break out in a large smile. 

[ + 15 points for flower crowns! Keep it up! {*^w^*} ]

Chapter Text

Mobei-Jun sat as sit as could be in the shadows of the mountain. His glowing blue eyes and huadian somewhat hidden by the flowers and leaves of an everblooming dogwood. His prey had yet again paced the length of its abode, showing through the windows with regularity. It wasn’t yet time to strike. He was patient and would be ready for whatever the prey could throw at him. 

Finally,after waiting for nearly two whole days, the candles inside the house were put out, except for one in one window. But even that one was extinguished. The soon to be Mobei-Jun ( although he had already begun to call himself such after being around Qinghua for a few months) then slowly crept out of his hiding place. He could feel the prickle of anti-demon wards try to push him away but failed. None of them were tripped as he used the shadows to glide into the house. 

It was set up quite similarly to Qinghua’s, with the exception of a few additional doors that likely led to archives. The ice demon followed the sound of a slowing heartbeat to the closed door of a bedroom. Not wanting to risk alerting the sleeping figure, he teleported just inside, the prone form of his prey sleeping like the dead. Still sleeping in his robes he had worn the day before. 

Mobei-Jun stood of the Peak Lord of An Ding for a few moments, before attacking. He snatched his hands and covered his mouth as the cultivator awoke and began to thrash. Gao Mingxing’s eyes widen at the sight of his attackers face before attempting to kick his side. Shen Qingqiu and his fan hit worse. 

“I am not here to kill you.” The demon bluntly stated as the peak lord did everything to stay alive. A sharp bite to his hand had him recoiling and looking with disgust at the human. Didn’t this human know what disgusting creatures were in their saliva? Qinghua did, had rambled to Mobei about these things called ‘germs’. “That was gross. What if you give me something?” He shook his hand in an attempt to rid it of potential germs as the peak lord caught his breath…oh he had accidentally covered his mouth and nose. That…might not be good for this conversation. 

“You aren’t here to kill me and yet you try and kill me, you are either a liar or shit at kidnapping people.” Gao Mingxing spat out. He reminded the demon of a porcupine quilled wolf, sharp and defensive while also relatively weak. 

“I do not wish to kidnap you. That would not serve my purpose.” 

“Then are you here to ask me to be a spy? Well good luck, even if I agree, which I would never do, I ascend in two days-”

“One day.”

“...that doesn’t matter!” Gao Mingxing fruitlessly struggled again. Mobei-Jun, getting tired of holding the Peak Lord’s hands, created an ice cuff around them. He then hauled him up into a sitting position. “What the hell do you want with me!?” 

Mobei-Jun sighed, the strange feeling of anxiousness bubbling up like the warmth of love he felt with Qinghua. He could do this. “ I am here to ask for your blessing to marry Qinghua.” 

Gao Mingxing’s jaw dropped. His face stuck in surprise and confusion. He eventually made a sound, a confused giggle. “What the hell, why? And no! I would never sell off my favorite disciple to some-some psychotic ice demon.” 

Mobei-Jun wanted to punch him but he refrained. Humans were weak and would not take kindly to his punch. He would put up with this man for his Qinghua. “Because he is Qinghua, and this one wishes to marry him. He…saved my life.” 

“And now you seek to repay him by what? Marrying him?! That won’t work, my Qinghua is already in love with someone else so you can find some other way to repay him, or better yet never show up here again…wait how did you get in without alerting the barriers?”

Mobei-Jun stared at Gao Mingxing with an almost bored expression, however he felt something akin to Snow Winged Moths fluttering in his gut. “I know that. This one is willing to share Qinghua with Shen Qingqiu. He would make an excellent demon, very sharp.” 

“...please tell me you only know that by stalking them.” The peak lord’s voice became quiet, no longer yelling at the demon sitting next to him on his bed. 

The demon shook his head. “No, he has hit me with his fan many times, but only when Qinghua is not there. He doesn’t enjoy seeing us fight, I think it makes him jealous.”

“Why would it make him jealous- wait you have talked to them. You have been around them. Is this about Luo Binghe?” A defeated look settling upon his face, denial setting in. 

“I will not kill Qinghua’s son, I have already planned to add the half heavenly demon to my family stele as my son and heir. He will become strong.”

Then came anger. “Oh fucking hell Shang Lei, you just had to fuck around with a demon.” Gao Mingxing's head fell back and he looked up at the ceiling searching for an answer in the wooden planks.

Mobei tilted his head to the side perplexed.“What does fucking have to do with your approval? Will you give it if you have proof we have had sex?” He thought humans were much more prudish but if it meant he got permission to marry his Qinghua…

“Oh god stop, stop, stop! I don’t want to hear anymore of that.”Gao Mingxing shook his head from side to side. His eyes closed tight trying to rid the vile thought from his mind. His still imprisoned hand began to shake from the chill of the ice, despite his cultivation. 

“You are the one who brought it up.” 

“I can’t believe my sweet little dumpling has gone and seduced a prince-”

“I will soon have my fathers title.”

“-a king of the northern desert. How! Actually I don’t want to know…You said he saved your life?” 

“Mm, Huanhua palace had planned to kill this one. He removed the needle and took care of me while ill.” 

“Oh..that one mission huh…Wait, you’ve killed my disciples!” Gao Mingxing snapped open his eyes. If looks could kill then the ice demon would be dead twice over. Ah, I forgot about those disciples…this may cause a, what does Qinghua called it, a wrench in my plans. Whatever a wrench is.

“I thought they were Huanhua. The yellow and gold looked similar enough while poisoned. And you cultivators have killed many of my kind.” While cultivators often saw demons as heartless and happy to kill humans, they often forget that cultivators and even regular humans would happily kill a demon or even human for little reason. At the very least, demons viewed children as a joy and something to protect, humans not so much. 

“Oh gods, why have you abandoned me?” Gao Mingxing was staring up at the ceiling again looking for answers. He found none in the wood grain looking down at him. The unblinking eyes buried in the grooves staring down apathetically. Why must this happen to him a day before ascension?

Mobei awkwardly shifted on the bed next to his future father in law…Shifu in law? He looked down at the ice cuffs and frowned. Those didn’t promote good will did they? “Will you try and fight back or alert someone as to my presence if I remove the cuffs?” The peak lord looked back at the demon, his head tilted up slightly to make eye contact. 

“If you remove them I will attempt to strangle you.” 

“Mmm.” 

The two of them sat in silence staring at one another. No one moved except for the rising and falling of their breath. A tired sigh from Gao Mingxing broke it, his head slumping between his shoulders defeated. “Alright…I’ll give you my blessing,” Mobei-Jun’s eyes glimmered with hope. “If you can tell me what my Shang Lei’s favorite food is-”

“Pulled noodles.” He didn’t even let the other finish before he excitedly blurted out the answer. “While he always eats melon seeds, his favorite food is hand pulled noodles.” He couldn’t help but feel proud at remembering that. Qinghua had often rambled about how tasty they were when drunk or tired. 

Gao Mingxing nodded. “So you really have spoken with him…what would you do if he declined your proposal?”

“He will not, but if he does then I will accept it.” He would not accept it gracefully, but he would accept it. Mobei-Jun did not cry, but if Qinghua rejected him the little fluttering thing inside him would die and he would cry. 

He looked over at his lover’s Shifu, the man giving him a strange look. Like he was…something. Mobei-Jun didn’t know what. He was never looked at like that before. With pity and…sadness? Happiness? Whatever it was he didn’t like the way it made him feel. Gao Mingxing gave a loud sigh and bowed his head. “I can’t stop it can I?”

“No.”

“...Then at least promise me that you will take care of my Shang Lei, Binghe, and Shen Qingqiu. The world will not be kind if they ever find out about you or the boy's parentage.” Gao Mingxing knew he wouldn’t be able to protect them anymore. He didn’t want them to be torn apart by other sects or even their own for simply being seduced by a demon prince. 

Mobei-Jun scoffed, who did this peak lord think he was. “You do not need to ask. I am already taking care of them.” He was very good at it, while Qinghua liked the pelts he brought back of the beast he had slain, Shen Qingqiu liked when he collected other parts. He had also begun ordering for the royal suites to be updated with humans in mind, warming runes and talismans as well as fireplaces were being installed. His father had now been basically sent into an exile. He lived in a small manor further up north, dying slowly. The northern Desert was his fully and once his father died, no one (his uncle) would be able to challenge him. 

Gao Mingxing sat quietly. But he seemed less inclined to lash out violently so Mobei-Jun got rid of the ice restraints on his wrists. Instead of punching him like he threatened, Gao Mingxing simply sighed and fell back on his bed. “You know, I thought I was going to ascend calmly and with confidence that my son would be okay. But now…now I’m stressed again.” He pointed right at the ice demon. “You made me stressed. This isn’t good for my health. Or at least that’s what A-Lei and Mingcao say.” 

He rubbed his face and then stood up. He turned to the demon with a serious look, still pointing. Mobei-Jun was half tempted to bite the offending, pointing finger off, but that would be counterintuitive and seemed like the man had finally warmed up to him. “I will allow you to marry my A-Lei but the second I hear any word about you hurting him or Binghe I will come down from the heavens and make you wish you could crawl into the endless abyss. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand.” Mobei-Jun stood up and bowed to the Peak Lord. “Thank you for your blessing.” He then disappeared into a portal of dark blue, as if he was never there. Gao Mingxing sighed and rubbed his head. He was up for a horrible headache tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

“Nooooo, I don’t wanna bun!” Luo Binghe gave great body shaking sobs, tears of pure heartbreak tumbling down his face as Shang Qinghua struggled to pull his son's hair into a neat bun. 

“We have to make sure you look presentable, I don’t want anyone saying anything against you or me today.” He finally managed to get it all in one hand before attempting to tie it off. This was thwarted by a three year old flinging himself onto the floor, his hair once more becoming a halo of black curls as he rolled around and screamed. Shang Qinghua could do nothing but sigh and rub his forehead. 

System, is there a reason my precious protagonist son is acting like I want to chop his head off? 

[ {-_-} …perhaps it is because host has never attempted this before. ] 

But my hair is in a bun all the time.

[...host regularly complains about said bun and has mentioned that it is killing you after a long day. ] 

….well shit.

Mentally fortifying himself, Shang Qinghua looked up to the ceiling and the heavens beyond for any help. Unfortunately this was Proud Immortal Demon Way and there was no help for him, the author. “Binghe, do you think the bun will hurt you?” He kneeled down next to the sobbing tot and rubbed his back. His son looked up and nodded. Well shit. “It won’t actually hurt you, I was just being dramatic. You only need to wear it for one day, Bingbing. I’ll never force you to wear it again, I promise.” 

Luo Binghe wiped his now snot covered face and blinked up at his ‘mother’. “...Y-you promise?” 

The soon to be peak lord in less than seven hours nodded and pulled his son into his arms. “Yeah I promise. Now let's clean up that face because last I checked snot and tears aren’t professional.” The little half-demon immediately began to rub his face in a shoddy attempt to clean it up. He couldn’t help but laugh at the attempt of cleaning a face. He grabbed a cloth and  dish of clean water conveniently placed on the nearby table (he had since learned that keeping at least one easily accessible wet rag was a necessity when dealing with his little protagonist son). After a thorough cleaning of the toddler's face, Shang Qinghua tried once more to pull his hair up and it went much better. 

Binghe still drew his shoulders up and pouted but he was no longer thrashing like a wild beast. Heh. Maybe I should tell A-Jiu about how beastly his little beast has been acting? Luo Binghe suddenly spun around in the chair with an upset expression that just made him look absolutely adorable. 

“No, if you tell Baba I will hate you.” The very serious little fluffy dumpling stated, his tongue being stuck out for extra measure before turning back around and glaring into the polished metal mirror back at his father who was trying his best to keep from dying. 

“Apologizes Bing-bing, I was just joking and didn’t mean to say that.” Oh god I need to get a better handle on speaking my thoughts. “But you shouldn’t say hate, that’s a big angry word.” He quickly finished pulling the hair to the top of his head without any weird bumps and curls spilling out. He then quickly began to twist a ribbon securely around it. “You only say that to people you really, really don’t like and even then you shouldn’t say it out loud because you could really hurt someone's feelings and make them sad. You made me sad when you said you hated me, after everything I’ve done for you.” Shang QInghua dramatically closed his eyes and draped an arm over his head. 

Luo Binghe ignored him, kicking his feet back and forth. “I don’t care, Mama is mean.” He then crossed his arms and pouted even more. 

“Well then, if you dislike me soooo much, I’ll have to tell your A-Die to take you with him next time he visits. You won’t be forced to see and hate me for over a month.” He fought back a grin at the shocked look on his son's face as he turned back around, his hair now secured in a ponytail. 

“NO! I don’t hate you, don’t make me goooo!” He flung his tiny toddler arms open and latched onto Shang QInghua’s middle, refusing to let go. As if summoned by the commotion, a knock came on his door. 

Shang Qinghua attempted to peel the clingy 3 year old off him to no success. Luo Binghe had now wound his legs around his middle and was giggling louder with each attempt to pry him away. Giving up, Shang Qinghua awkwardly walked to the door while his son shrieked and struggled to hang on. He opened the door to his Shifu who gave the clinging toddler a side eye. “Gao-Shifu, I didn’t expect to see you for another hour, I’m not running late am I. Oh my god if I am I am so sorry. We’ll be ready to go i-’

“You are not late Qinghua, I just wanted to stop by and give you some…words of encouragement before I am no longer here beside you.” His Shifu patted his shoulder and made his way inside. Shang Qinghua let him in but there was a weird energy around Gao Mingxing, he seemed agitated and sad. Noticing that his pseudo grandfather was now in the room, Luo Binghe detached from Shang Qinghua and ran up to become an octopus on the older man’s leg. 

“Yeye, Baba said he was gonna send me away. He’s meannnn!” he pointed a finger at his father. He then proceeded to continue whining and pulling on the older man’s robes. Gao Mingxing just smiled down at him and patted his head. 

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that.” He bent down and succeeded in pulling the sticky dumpling off his leg. Luo Binghe puffed up his cheeks before grumbling and sitting on the floor in an angry bundle of cuteness. 

Shang Qinghua gave a tired sigh and pulled him up from the floor. “Please don’t roll all over the floor, your clothing is gonna get ruined.” He quickly brushed off any dirt from his son's sunflower yellow and white robes. They had been specially made by artisans from the town at Cang Qiong Sect’s feet who had made his own so that they could match. Delicate dogwood blossoms stitched in silver on them with a few bamboo stalks hidden in them. A recommendation from Shen Qingqiu whose own robes had a few hidden dogwood flowers hidden in between bamboo leaves. 

He stood back up and gave his Shifu a nervous smile, still wondering why the man was there. It was certainly more than to just have words with him. Gao Mingxing pulled a small plain looking box from his sleeves. “I have something for you. I was planning on leaving it for you as a wedding present for you and…whoever or whenever you decide to get married, but I wanted to see you wear it before I leave for the heavens.” Shang Qinghua carefully took it from the other and opened it. 

Inside was a delicate hair crown with amber inlaid flowers on it. In between the amber flowers were sparrows hiding behind them. The tiny details amazed Shang Qinghua; it would have been somewhat difficult to make in the era he was originally from, much less the past-like world of his novel. “I-it’s gorgeous Shifu.” He looked up at the other with tears prickling the corners of his eyes. Never before had a parental figure of his lives, past and present, ever given him anything like what was in his hands. 

“I wanted you to have something beautiful and representative of An Ding Peak.” He set his hands on the others elbows and smiled softly and sadly. “I want you to go forth and despite any set back or what anyone says to you about being a part of An Ding Peak or Cang Qiong,  or about you being weak, I want you to ignore that and know that you are valued and that no matter what that your family will be by your side.” 

Shang Qinghua couldn’t help the (frankly pathetic) whimper and sobs that escaped him. His Shifu carefully took the case from his hands and set it aside before wrapping the crying man in his arms. The two of them said nothing as Shang Qinghua clung to someone he created as a throwaway character and had then become his stand in father. Someone he was likely never to see again for a long, long time after today. 

The moment was ended by a pair of tiny hands wrapping around both their legs. Luo Binghe looked up at the two of them confused and with a trembling lip. “Don’t be sad Mama and Yeye, if you are sad then I will cry.” Shang Qinghua fought back another sob, picking up his son and hugging him back. 

“Happy tears buddy, happy tears.” He attempted to blink back the rest of tears until Gao Mingxing handed him a handkerchief. With one hand he wiped his eyes, getting himself back under control. “Ahem, thank you, Shifu… I really don’t really know what to say.” Gao Mingxing smiled sadly at the other, his own tears threatening to fall as well. 

“Oh you don’t have to say anything. This old man knows how you like to say more than is needed in thanks. Now, turn around. Let’s get that crown on your head before it gets lost in a pile of scrolls.” Shang Qinghua spun around with Luo Binghe giggling in his arms. 

His teacher’s hands were gentle in pulling his hair up and back, much gentler than when he did his own hair. His hair was mostly pulled into the classic bun on the top of his head while the bottom layer was left loose along with a few strands in the front. Def for the aesthetic. 

[ Host please try to be somewhat serious.  { -_- ~}  This is a very serious occasion, -5 points for being OOC ] 

WHAT! I thought you threw those OOC points out forever ago! 

[ …. ]

Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeee

[ +15 points for family bonding { -3- } ] 

“Mama, why are you smiling crazy?” Luo Binghe smacked the side of his face with his pudgy little fist. Shang Qinghua chuckled awkwardly, readjusting his hold. 

“Just remembered that we have to finish your hair as well after this.” This made the little half-demon frown and Gao Mingxing laugh. The three of them then descended into a calm quiet as the future peak lord’s hair was styled. Gao Mingxing eventually stepped back with one final brush with his hand to smooth down any loose strands with qi. 

Shang Qinghua turned back around, bringing his own hand up to feel the bun. “Thank you, Shifu. I’m gonna really miss you.” 

“Bah, you’re going to miss someone helping you with the paperwork.” 

“As if you’ve been helping fill out the paperwork during the past few years. Leaving this one to be a single parent and run an entire great sect.” And a demon lord’s kingdom “I’ll be glad to finally get recognition for all the work I put in.” Shang Qinghua grinned as the other man sighed fondly.

“As if An Ding will ever get recognition, and what’s this about being a single parent? Have this Shifu or Shen-Shizhi not helped you as much as possible? Ha, single parent.” He patted his successor on the shoulder. He looked at Luo Binghe and pinched the three year old's nose. “You, be good for your…Mama. Don’t get into trouble or make him cry.” 

Luo Binghe gasped as if even insinuating that he would make Shang Qinghua sad was a shock. “Never! I would never make Mama sad or cry or angry or-or” He trailed off, trying to remember more synonyms for sad. “I won’t do that. I am good.” 

Shang Qinghua’s heart stung at that, his little protagonist was never purely good character when he wrote him but perhaps in this life he would be good. “Yes you are, the absolute best.” He kissed his son’s cheek, getting a happy giggle in response. He then set his son down. “Now why don’t you go say goodbye to Mi Tang, and try not to get fur all over your outfit.” He yelled the last bit after the toddler as he took off to the bedroom. 

“He’s growing up so fast, he reminded me of a disciple of mine.” Shang QInghua raised an eyebrow as the old man looked fondly out the window. “Always running around from one thing to the other, so serious. So grown up despite being so young…You’re a good father, Shang Lei.” Said disciple walked over to the other’s side, joining him in looking out to the back garden of his house. Dogwood trees had little buds on them as they flowed in the gentle wind, not yet ready to bloom. 

“Shifu…”

“I trust that you will be a good Peak Lord. I believe that you will treat all the little disciples who come here, no matter how serious or rambunctious they are, with the same care and respect as you treat Binghe.” He set his hand over where his heart was. “I know deep in my soul that if anything ever happened to An Ding, to Cang Qiong, that you would put those little disciples before all else.” Shang Qinghua could feel sweat going down the back of his neck as the distant memory of the system informing him about planning the immortal conference disaster came up in the back of his mind. 

[ The story is already deviated…Host no longer will be required to cause the disaster ] 

Thank fuck. 

“Because of that, know that I trust you in anything you decide to do going forward and that…I hope you, Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu….and Mobei-Jun are happy together.” FUCK! “Heh no need to look so nervous A-Lei, I haven’t told anyone. Just…be careful, this world is not kind to people who are different or those who love for those who are.” 

“Shifu, I…thank you.” 

Gao Mingxing chuckled, his face suddenly wearing the weight of all his years as his eyes gazed at his disciple. “It is not much, it doesn’t affect me at all. I am leaving this whole disaster behind in a few hours. This is going to be your mess to clean up. I wish you luck with that.” He punctuated it by poking the younger in the chest. “Now I do believe this old man should leave before I make Jin Mingbao hunt me down.” 

The two shared a laugh as Luo binghe came back into the room, dragging Mi Tang along in a hug. Completely getting fur all over his robes. “Yeye is leaving?” 

“Yes I am leaving, for a very long time. But maybe one day we will see eachother again.” Gao Mingxing knelt down and accepted the hug from his grandson who had abandoned the red panda. “Now, let's not cry. You are not a baby are you.” he shook his head. “Good…I will miss you Luo Binghe.” 

“I’m gonna miss you.” Shang Qinghua fought valiantly back against his own tears at the sweet sight as his teacher stood up. 

“Enough of these teary goodbyes. I will take my leave now. GOod luck to the both of you and do live a life that you are happy living.” 

Shang Qinghua bowed to the man “Oh course, Gao-Shifu.” His voice cracked a bit at the last part. Gao Mingxing gave him one last smile before leaving the small house. The author and protagonist stood quietly together before Luo Binghe began to cry again and SHnag QInghua had to rush to clean him up for the ceremony. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shang Qinghua stood between Wei Qingwei and Mu Qingfang, the order of their peaks, as they stood watching Jin Mingbao give a speech meant to empower the new ascending peak lords and give hope for the future of Cang Qiong. It would be a very impactful speech if they hadn’t heard it over a million times during practice. They had heard it so often that Wei Qingwei was matching her word for word and tone for tone under his breath. Shang Qinghua was struggling to keep a straight face between that and the way Yue Qingyuan was standing with the most customer service employee who just got chewed out by a Karen look to ever exist. 

It seemed like the crowd made of other sects, disciples of Cang Qiong, and regular citizens didn’t share such opinions. Most of them looking up at the Qiong Ding Peak Lord dressed in dark blue and gold dripping robes with awe. She looked like a god among men and wasn’t that true, since the peak lords would all be ascending on command soon. 

“If she adds anything new I am going to make it look like you had a heart attack.” Mu Qingfang whispered over the Shang Qinghua. 

“I almost want to take you up on that offer-” A sharp pain suddenly burst out of the back of his left hand. He looked down, seeing a small green leaf floating to the ground inconspicuously. The author did his best to glare over at Shen Qingqiu who was staring ahead with a bored look as if nothing happened. His fan moving slowly and without a care in the world. “Pretentious bastard.” Shang QInghua mumbled, causing Wei Qingwei to make a concerned choking noise. 

It was enough that Yue QIngyuan gave the four of them an almost dirty look, customer service style. Shang Qinghua rolled his eyes, letting them rest on Luo Binghe at the front of the crowd. He stood with Ru Jihua, one of Shang Qinghua’s shimei and one of the most talented human calculators he had ever met. She had watched him a few times and the toddler didn’t seem to hate her. He did however look a little angry standing in the crowd. He had practiced with Shang Qinghua and thus was confused as to why after all that practicing, wasn’t allowed to stand up there. He looked ready to burn the sect down for the slight. 

Jin Mingbao finally finished her long as fuck speech and then Yue Qingyuan began his. And this time, it was slightly different than the one he used in practice, meaning he certainly added to it. “Can we make him have a heart attack?” 

“He’s a little far away but I could probably hit him.” Mu QIngfang let a thin silver needle slip into his hand, as if he was truly planning on letting it fly. 

“That would undermine Cang Qiong if our future sect leader had a heart attack during our ascension to peak lord.” Shen Qingqiu hissed back. 

“Yeah but it would end this giant beauty contest, unless you enjoy standing around looking pretty for Huanhua?” Wei Qingwei snickered until he hissed as a qi sharpened leaf hit his hand as well. 

“If the four of you don’t shut up right now, I am going to shove those ugly flowers down your throats. Who okayed those ugly carnations.” Qi Qingqi sharply whispered, this time earning a glare from Jin Mingbao. The five of them all straightened up and didn’t say anything else. Even if she was leaving the mortal realm in a minute, they didn’t want her wrath during that minute. 

As soon as Yue QIngyuan finished his speech, all of the upcoming peak lords stepped forward as their counterparts across the way did as well. From the shortest peak up to the top, the current lords handed over to their successor an item symbolizing their peak and their authority being recognized for all to see. Shang Qinghua gave Gao Mingxing a small nervous smile as the man came closer with the very old, and very ornately covered, scroll in his hands. He had been introduced to it a year ago; the scroll had the name of every An Ding peak lord in it along with a little note written by each of them for their successors. He hadn’t been allowed to peek, his Shifu slapping his hand away and telling him that once he became peak lord would be allowed to glimpse upon its contents. 

But now here he was getting it slipped into his hand carefully by the man he considered his only real father. Gao Mingxing had a sad faraway look as their hands lightly touched before the older man pulled back. Shang Qinghua distantly thought to himself that he should probably check out what everyone else got but all he could do was watch his teacher step away for the last time. That this was the last time he was going to see him. 

“The passing of the title is now completed, the new peak lords of Cang Qiong stand before you.” Jin Mingbao announced, snapping Shang Qinghua from thinking too much. He had to be present for this next part. “Yue Qingyuan, Shen Qingqiu, Wei Qingwei, Shang Qinghua…” He stepped forward with his name being called, adopting his very own customer service smile. The crowd before them all applauded as each new Peaklord was named with their title. Luo Binghe waved at him, unfortunately he had to refrain from waving to him so he made due with a real smile. They all stood there looking pretty as Wei Qingwei put it before they stepped back. The former peak lords all took one last bow to the crowd, to their successor, and finally to Jin Mingbao who returned it to them. 

Then Shang Qinghua watched as his Shifu took off with the rest of his generation towards a large doorway that led to a staircase that went to the very top of the snow capped Qiong Ding where they would either ascend to the heavens or fail and then have their bodies be found a year later. If they were found dead they would be quietly buried deep in the tombs of Cang Qiong. Fun. 

The former author tried not to think of that, willing himself to remain ignorant to the fate of his Shifu. In the original outcome, he wrote that Shang Qinghua, the original goods that is, had been slowly poisoning his teacher to keep him from sticking his nose into his business and that the man had been too weak to ascend. Hopefully since that hadn’t happened, obviously, his Shifu would have fun instead with Shu Mingcao doing whatever ascended cultivators did. Probably throw small rocks at mortals and spying on people. 

“We’re supposed to get moving now, Shang-Shixiong.” Mu Qingfang gently nudged the daydreaming An Ding peak lord, Oh lord he was a peak lord, to get moving. Shang Qinghua quickly got the memo and sped up a little to get to where he was supposed to already be behind Wei Qingwei, Yue Qingyuan would likely have a few stern words with him about losing attention. 

[ CONGRATULATIONS MUST BE SAID THREE TIMES!!!! CONGRATS! CONGRATS! CONGRATS!  { ^0o0^ }  +500 Points for becoming PEAK LORD of AN DING PEAK!!!! +50 Points for teary departure! +75 Points for keeping up with the Peak Lords!  KEEP IT UP!!! ]

Awww thank you system, guess I’m not a total failure huh? 

[ {^-^}  This system never doubted, host! Next Major Milestone: REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED! ]

The fuck-

[ Purchase a scenario pusher for 50 points?  (Yes)  (YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH) ]

…Nevermind I hate you….

[ THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING! ENJOY YOUR SCENARIO! ] 

“That wasn’t a complete mess.” Shen Qingqiu drifted up the Shang Qinghua’s side, two cups of wine already in his hands. “You look nice, I like your hair crown. Was it a final gift from Gao Mingxing?” Shang Qinghua took the small cup and immediately shot it back. It was some weak flowery wine, something that would make it difficult to get drunk off of even if you weren’t a cultivator. 

“Yeah…I’m gonna miss that guy. Bah, forget the sad stuff, you look amazing yourself, like wow.” And he wasn’t just saying stuff to say stuff. The new Qing Jing peak lord wore a dark green outer robe with the bamboo stitching in silver with the small flowers of An Ding’s dogwood in them. The rest of his robes were an even darker green, almost black. The belt contrasted the rest of the outfit with a bright white and minty green stitching. Shang QInghua had seen a partially finished version when Shen Qingqiu had dragged him down the mountain to show him the flower details and bully him into getting fittings but it looked even better on his boyfriend. 

Shen Qingqiu’s face turned pink as the man hid behind a fan that was certainly made to match his outfit. His eyes darted around the slowly filling up banquet hall as people came in to congratulate the newly appointed lords. “Shut up, what if someone hears you. So embarrassing…Stop looking at me like that!” He lightly smacked the other's arm, who yelped at getting attacked. 

“Wha-what do you mean? I was jus-” 

“You know what I mean, now let’s go find our little beast.” Despite protesting to Shang Qinghua complimenting him, the prickly man slid his hand into the others and they made their way through the people giving congratulations and wanting to talk with a few short sentences and a curt nod. Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but smile at the back of Shen Qingqiu’s head with a dopey expression of love; not that he knew he had one on his face however. 

Before the two could make it to the door, Ru Jihua burst through looking panicked. Shang Qinghua tore his hand from Shen Qingqiu’s as he ran over to the woman who was very obviously Luo Binghe less. “Where is he? Where is Binghe?!” 

His Shimei’s eyes teared up as the woman shook slightly. “I-I had my hand on his head and then the crowd started moving and next thing I knew, he was gone!” She squeezed her own hands until the knuckles were a bony white. Shang Qinghua suddenly felt the urge to break them for letting of his son. Whoa that’s a little too violent. 

“What do you mean you lost him?” A sharp hiss over his right shoulder announced the presence of parent number two..three? Whatever. Other people around them were glancing over at the three of them, two new peak lords and a panicked member of the sect, potential gossip! 

“Let’s just remain calm, he isn’t completely dumb. I’m sure he is likely hiding off to the side somewhere or making his way to one of the other head dis-ahem peak lords. Ru Jihua, I want you to stay by the door and see if he’s not yet inside. A-Jiu, you and I are going to split up and look for him inside.” Shang Qinghua pulled on his okay-something-happened-and-a-bunch-of-records/scrolls-got-badly-damaged-and-now-everything-is-falling-apart-and-he-has-to-be-the-adult-in-the-room-even-if-he-feels-like-screaming-and-crying-curled-up-on-the-ground. This seemed to work as his Shimei quickly bowed to him before fighting her way back to the entrance. He looked at Shen Qingqiu who had a pissed off and concerned look on his face. Before they could separate his hand shot out like a viper pulling the yellow clad one closer. 

“Huanhua is here also in a color close to your peaks. He might get confused and…we have to find him before that old disgusting fuck gets his hands on him.” Shen Qingqiu had been informed about Luo Binghe’s actual parentage a while ago. Shang Qinghua explained how he knew this by explaining that he saw Tianlang-jun a few times in the demon realm and once by a total complete incident with the former head of Huanhua. Also the whole sealing thing that happened gave credit to his story. The half heavenly demon stuff along with the rumors about Huanhua palace master being a creep towards Su Xiyan kinda sorta put Shen Qingqiu on crazy protective mode when Huanhua came up. Wow who could have predicted that? Certainly not the guy who had written all of this and everyone’s backstories haha ha ha. 

“We’ll find him in time. We have to.” The two men shared a look before leaving for separate sides of the room. 

As the two of them panicked running around the room without seeming like they were running around the large room panicked, a little three year old Luo Binghe shuffled between people’s sweeping robes. He hadn’t meant to leave Ru-jiejie’s side…he just really wanted to be with his Mama and Baba so he walked a little faster than her. But now he couldn’t see his parents and everyone was so much taller than him. 

He made his way to the wall and felt tears forming. He roughly wiped at them, he didn’t want to be seen as a baby. He tried to look in the crowd for someone he recognized but everyone was new. Then he saw a long familiar ponytail in the crowd, Liu-Shishu! He pushed off the wall, tears coming down his face, glad to see his Shishu. But before he could reach the crowd someone stepped in front of him. 

At first, he felt joy at seeing the yellow color, that was the color of An Ding and that meant someone who knew his Mama! But after looking at it a bit, it didn’t look like the yellow they normally wore, it was shiny. Luo Binghe stared at the shiny yellow fabric confused before he looked up at the  face of an old man giving him a weird look. It reminded him of the way Mama would look at a fresh bowl of melon seeds. It was funny when he rubbed his hands together and happily ate them but he didn’t like the look being directed at him, it made him feel itchy and weird. 

“Hello there little one, what’s your name?” The old man asked with a manic smile. Luo Binghe leaned back against the wall, wondering where his parents were. His mouth snapped shut, refusing to open. Mama always said not to talk to strangers or give them your real name or anything. “Quiet little one aren’t you…gods you look just like her…could it be….” The old man pondered to himself as Luo Binghe watched from behind as the familiar hair of his Shishu disappeared into the crowd, along with the chance of finding his Shishu.

Taking the moment of the man’s distraction, he bolted around him. Crocodile tears fell down his face as he weaved and dodged people’s body, not caring if he crashed into them. He wanted to get away from that guy. He wanted anyone other than him, he would even take mean Mu-Shishu would feed him yucky medicine or even Qi-Shigu who he thought was ugly and mean. But then a hand grabbed his shoulder and he was yanked backwards……

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe tried to struggle out of the hold but the persons grip was too much for him to shake off. Tears fell from his eyes, obscuring his vision. As he tried to think of what to do something popped into his head. His Baba always said that if he ever needed to get away from someone he should hit them in the privates. Hit them and then scream. He spun his little body around, pulling a hand back to hit the person, but then another hand quickly wrapped around his fist. 

“-Zhi, Luo-Shizhi, calm down. I’m not going to hurt you.” A familiar voice said, stopping Luo Binghe’s squirming. He looked up with large tear stained eyes to see Yue Qingyuan looking down at him with a confused and worried expression. 

“Y-Yue-Shibo?” Binghe hiccupped out, his little hands grabbing onto his eldest uncle's gray robes. His Baba didn’t like Yue-Shibo and neither did Mama but he would give him candy behind Baba’s back and he liked candy. He wasn’t supposed to eat candy from strangers but he was his Shibo, not a stranger so it was okay. “I-I thought you were the scary man.” 

Yue Qingyuan knelt down in front of the still sniffling little boy. “What do you mean the scary man?” 

“Th-the old man in ugly shiny yellow. He was super old and ugly and I-I didn’t like how he looked at me. Like I was a melon seed.” Yue Qingyuan's face turned dark for a second before a tense but polite smile came back. 

“How about we find Jiu-er….I mean your…baba. And you can tell us both about what happened, okay.” Luo Binghe nodded and didn’t fight as his Shibo picked him up and began to carry him around the room. 

People kept congratulating Yue Qingyuan but he would just smile and offer a few words of thanks before moving on. He doubted that his Jiu-er would be willing to wait a while when Shang-Shidi's son was lost. He had become quite attached to the small child and Yue Qingyuan could hardly blame him, the boy was adorable…If you ignored the fact that he was a ticking half demon time bomb. He hoped that Shang Qinghua was oblivious to that fact, but if he wasn’t then he hoped he would come clean about it soon. Until then, he would simply have to keep an eye on the small child. 

His Shizun had warned him and offered to help make the half demon disappear before her ascension but Yue Qingyuan couldn’t do it. The child had been raised on Cang Qiong since soon after he had been born and had shown no sign of being in tune to his demonic side. If everything worked out then Luo Binghe would grow up in the sect completely oblivious to his true nature. After all, it wasn't the boy's fault that his parents had made a regrettable mistake. 

Luo Binghe sniffled and pushed his face more into Yue Qingyuan’s shoulder, his eyes peeking out over the back to see if he could see his parents. “...Why doesn’t Baba like you?” Yue Qingyuan almost tripped over his own feet. Just before he could stammer out an answer Luo Binghe began to squirm in his hold. “MAMA!” 

Shang Qinghua never felt more like a sleeper agent than when his panicked brain picked up the sound of his precious protagonist son calling for him. His head shot up from where he had been scanning the ground and he all but ran, shoving people aside to get to him. He barely even registered Yue Qingyuan holding him as he snatched Binghe into his own arms. “Are you hurt? Are you okay? Did anyone mess with you?” 

Luo Binghe giggled as he inspected his face and arms. “I’m not hurt mama, Yue-Shibo found me.” Despite now being in Shang Qinghua’s arms, Luo Binghe still held on tightly to the new peak lords robes, scared that if he let go his mama would disappear. 

“Thank god that you're okay, baobei.” Shang Qinghua hugged his son as tight as he could. A few people stared and whispered behind their hands but he didn’t care. The fear of losing then finding his son was more important than stupid image. A relieved, familiar sigh sounded from next to Shang Qinghua, drawing his attention. Shen Qingqiu walked closer to the two with a rare expression of vulnerability and relief in public. As if hearing Shang Qinghua’s thoughts, the outwardly cold peak lord fixed his expression and flicked open his fan. 

“I am pleased to see that the little beast is alright.” Shen Qingqiu let Luo Binghe hold onto the hand not currently holding his fan. “How…fortuotess that Zhangmen-Shibo found him.” 

Yue Qingyuan smiled like a beat dog finally given attention, Shang Qinghua felt a sliver of empathy for the man but he had somewhat dug his own grave. Sure he wrote him digging the grave but he had attempted to push him to leave the grave but apparently he was comfy down there. Whatever. “Yes, I found Luo Shizhi wandering on his own. He was quite…spooked.” 

“Spooked, what do you mean spooked?” Shang Qinghua asked, giving the sect leader a raised eyebrow. He looked over at Shen Qingiqu who looked as confused as he could look while hiding all his emotions behind a fan. “Binghe, what spooked you.” 

Binghe looked back to Shang Qinghua and sniffled. He was about to speak when he suddenly froze, staring at something over the An Ding peak lord's shoulder before burying his face in his robes and squeezing Shen Qingqiu's hand with surprising force. 

“Ah I see the little one has been found.” The three peak lords all turned around to see the Old Palace Master standing in front of them with an odd smile on  his face. His cold eyes not looking at the peak lords but laser focused on the toddler in Shang Qinghua’s arms. “I saw him wandering around lost and tried to help but it seems I accidentally spooked him.” He laughed after saying that as if nothing was wrong in the world. 

Shang Qinghua held onto his son tighter, alarm bells and the system going off around him as he tried to keep from throwing himself at the old man and wringing his neck. “Yes, Binghe got lost in the crowd, it is quite busy tonight. With everyone being here to celebrate the ascension of the previous generation as well as me and my martial siblings, a young child getting lost in the crowd is not an impossibility.” Yue Qingyuan stepped forward, seeming to sense the change of energy in the room. “But luckily he is with his parents again.” 

“Indeed.” Shen Qingqiu bristled, putting himself between the old fool and his son. 

The Old Palace Master perked up, an even stranger look on his face. “Parents?”

“Yes, Shen Qingqiu and I are Binghe’s parents. Is something the matter with that?” Shang Qinghua snipped back, daring the fool to say something or try something. He almost wished he would. He knew of all sorts of ways to make that old disgusting pervert suffer. 

[ WARNING! Killing Old Palace Master now will result in -500 reputation and -1000 points host! Please go ahead carefully! ] 

“Oh no, nothing wrong with that….he does look like the two of you…congratulations on your ascension…and your son.” The Old Palace master looked between the two of them with a look as if he was trying to look for something that wasn’t there before slinking away into the crowd. A massive weight lifted from the author's shoulders but a lingering slimy feeling remained. He wouldn’t feel better until the Old Palace Master was gone from Cang Qiong. 

“I’m going to carve that man's eyes out of his skull with his own knobby fingers.” Shen Qingqiu muttered. Yue Qingyuan began to make choking noises while Shang Qinghua simply nodded along. “I don’t give a damn what the cultivation world thinks of it, if that monster ever dares to touch Binghe again I will do it in a heartbeat.” 

“Xiao-Jiu I don’t think-”

“I’ll hold him in place for you.” Shang Qinghua interrupted the ever increasingly self-destructive Sect leader. Really, he could have sworn he hadn’t meant to write him this pathetic. He looked down at his son who was now listening intently to his parents threats of torture and death with an eager expression. Oh god, he was really going to have to up the don’t torture people part of his childhood. Luo Binghe couldn’t have three bloodthirsty moralless parents. Someone had to step up and be the morally sound one and unfortunately that might have to be him. Almost insane considering he had likely inadvertently killed way more people then he cared to think about via his countless schemes in both the human and demon realm. And that was on top of being the author of this whole cursed place and having planned for most everyone on Cang Qiong to meet a bloody gruesome end. Oh he was a terrible person. 

[ +10 points for emotional maturity (we can’t all be murder hobos) and +25 for saving the protagonist {^3^} ]

Only 15 for that whole ordeal! The emotional turmoil had to have made that at least 50 points!

[ Host…this system can not be too kind, it doesn’t want to be decommissioned {-_-```}  ] 

Decommissioned? What are you talking about- 

[ +25 POINTS FOR BEING A GREAT DAD!!!! {0o0```}  ]

…stupid thing. 

“-you three should stay a little bit longer, it would be strange if the second and fourth peak lords disappeared so soon.” SHang Qinghua barely tuned in in time to hear Yue Qingyuan. Sadly the man was right, he and Shen Qingqiu would be unable to leave with Luo Binghe until a good hour or so of mingling. 

“Okay, okay, we’ll stay for a bit. There’s a few people here I need to talk to anyway about certain supplies not arriving on time…” Shang Qinghua wordlessly handed Binghe over to Shen Qingqiu who accepted him with surprising speed. “Congratulations on becoming peak lord Yue Zhongzhu." He quickly tacked on with a short bow to older man who returned another with a tight smile. 

“And to you as well, Peak Lord Shang and Peak Lord Shen.” The man in green nodded briefly before grabbing Shang Qinghua’s arm and dragging him into the crowd. The three of them wandered around talking to the assorted group of fellow cultivators, wealthy merchants, and local authorities. It wasn’t everyday that Peak Lords ascended so the room was packed with the people from the very carefully selected guest list that Shen Qingqiu had helped put together. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“If I never speak to another man trying to sell the sect some obscure family artefact then it is too soon.” Shang Qinghua groaned, flopping back onto his brand new bed (he is so glad he sent in a special order to make it similar to modern beds). He had all but torn off and thrown his peak lord regalia into the corner to worry about tomorrow as soon as he got Binghe changed and into bed. The little tyke had been wiped out by hour two but had stayed up until they were finally able to escape at hour four. “I’m going to sleep for forever now, it’s my reward.”

“Mm Qinghua deserves it.” Mobei-jun’s claws were carefully playing with Shang Qinghua’s chesnut hair, pulling out the tangles from not carefully removing his hair crown. He was careful enough to not damage it but not enough to save his hair from the trouble of knots. “Him and Qingqiu have worked hard.” 

Said peak lord was sitting at Shang Qinghua’s now commandeered vanity, carefully taking out his own hairpieces. “Yes, we worked very hard for a position that will slowly squeeze the life out of us from a couple hundred years until we can ascend and then begin to slowly work ourselves to death again for heaven. What a lovely accomplishment.” He pulled the final pin from his hair, letting the silky black hair cascade down his back. He then got up and walked over to the two on the bed, sitting down next to them. “I can’t wait to spend eternity suffering.” 

Shang Qinghua rolled over and wrapped his arms around his waist in his best impression of an octopus. “Then the two of us will just have to suffer together, how horrible."  He mimicked the high and mighty tone of Shen Qingqiu’s voice which earned him a smack on the back of his head. “Ooooow, Mobei, Jiu-Jiu is hurting meeee.” he did his best sad Luo Binghe look at the ice demon which only earned him a slow blink in response. 

“Qinghua can fend for himself.” Well fuck you to. Shang Qinghua grumbled and pouted as Shen Qingqiu snickered. He was broken out of his little pity party by the ice demon prince carefully dragging him into his arms and cradling him as he laid back against the mound of pillows. Shang Qinghua could feel his face heat up as his face got almost smooshed in between his arms and chest. Yes, this would be a great way to go. “But this king will also protect Qinghua.” 

Shen Qingqiu followed suit in laying down carefully resting a well manicured hand next the Shang Qinghua’s face on Mobei-Jun’s slightly blue toned arm. “Don’t squeeze him too much, he’s likely to explode with how red he’s turning.” Oh that bastard knew what he was doing, smirking like this was funny. Mobei’s grip let up a little, letting Shang Qinghua fall more to the demon's side instead of wedged in between his king’s gorgeous tits. His disappointment was soon sated when the other peak lord shoved his face right into the crook of Shang Qinghua’s neck, his hot breath a sharp contrast to the constant chill emitted by the demon. “Now do shut up, we have the death of Huan Hua’s Palace Master to plan tomorrow.” 

Mobei-Jun immediately sat straight up, both cultivators crashing into each other at the motion, one squawking and the other hissing. “What. When was this decided without me?” The air grew frigid as the ice demon began to look upset, which wasn’t very upset looking at all but for Mobei it meant devastation. “The death of that man has already been called for by my hand, how dare you not include me in your scheming.” 

“We haven’;t planned anything, you idiotic block of ice.” Shen Qingqiu untangled himself from the still squawking Shang Qinghua to point a finger at Mobei-Jun. “I was simply saying we will plan, not that we have already. Maybe if you used that-” He jammed one long finger at the head of the other. “-instead of immediately deciding to start a fight then perhaps you would have already killed that pervert.” 

“What did he do?” 

“...He tried to grab Binghe and made a bunch of creepy comments about him. I think he knows or at least suspects that he is half demon.” Shang Qinghua sighed, he could feel that they weren’t going to go to bed for a while now. “It does make some sense, since Su Xiyan was his disciple that he would recognize her kid. Still the way he looked at Binghe…”

“It makes you want to rip off his dick and shove it down his throat.” Shen Qingqiu helpfully finished. 

“Yeah exactly that. He’s thrown off the scent a little though, I’m almost certain he thinks that Binghe is mine and A-Jiu’s biological kid-”

“What!”

“But I don’t doubt that he’ll look into it more and learn that he’s adopted and was adopted around the same time that Su Xiyan disappeared and died. He’s stupid but not that stupid.” Shang Qinghua looked up at Mobei-Jun. “I need you to possibly send a few spies to peak around Huan Hua, not to do anything, just collect information. We need to be prepared if he is planning anything.” 

The green eyed man leaned over the former author, his hair gently tickling the other man’s face. “You have a plan already, don’t you? I knew that you were wary of that man but I didn’t realize how wary you were.” Shen Qingqiu’s eyes sparked with something that made Shang Qinghua feel like a mouse trapped in a tiger's paw, about to be eaten alive. And he didn’t quite hate that but now wasn’t the time for him to be a freak. 

“Haha…I might have a few ideas and plans. Might have already done some research, nothing too much though haha…ha…” He fought the urge to look over at Mobei-Jun for support, knowing that the ice demon would likely be angry that he had been planning the downfall of a man he hated behind his back. “I-it’s not like I was going to do anything important without consulting with you guys first. I swear it was all just reconnaissan-” 

Shang Qinghua was shut up by Shen Qingqiu grabbing his face and kissing him. The author's brain short-circuited and he felt like he was getting electrocuted all over ago. “Stop rambling.” Shang Qinghua rapidly nodded in the other's hands before he found himself manhandled by Mobei-Jun once again. The Ice demon pressed his face against the side of Shang Qinghua’s, turning the others head to kiss him as well. 

“Qinghua is very smart and well prepared. This king is lucky to have him.” Shang Qinghua couldn’t even respond, already getting his breath stolen again by Shen Qingqiu. He really was right about not going to be able to sleep tonight. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mama?” Luo Binghe looked up concerned at Shang Qinghua at the breakfast table. His bowl of congee growing colder by the minute. 

“Yes Binghe, what is it?” Shang Qinghua yawned, refilling his cup of tea as Shen Qingqiu skimmed through a scroll and Mobei-Jun placed the last few toppings for the congee down. He picked up his cup and took a sip.

Luo Binghe leaned over, glaring over at Mi tang who was happily chomping away at his bamboo and fruit in the corner. “Did Mi Tang bite you last night? Your neck is all hurt! And Die-Die’s chest is also hurt! Why did Mi Tang bite you?” Shang Qinghua choked, tea shooting out of his nose as he clamped a hand over his neck. Shen Qingqiu’s face was turning from white, to green, to red, and vice versa while Mobei-Jun’s own face turned a blue and he pulled his sleeping robe more closed. 

Shen Qingqiu was the first to get a hold of himself, flicking open his fan before patting Luo Binghe’s head. “Mi Tang…was hiding in our bed last night and we accidentally laid down on him so he attacked us. That’s why you should always check your sheets before going to sleep.” Mi Tang looked over at the peak lord with a look that screamed liar. 

“Y-yeah that’s right!” Oh god, he was a terrible dad. 

Luo Binghe nodded, accepting the answer before looking confused again and then narrowing his eyes at Shen Qingqiu. “Why didn’t Mi Tang attack you?” 

Shen Qingqiu shrugged, “That is because Mi Tang likes me more than those two-” He stiffened in his seat as Mobei-Jun slapped his upper back much stronger than necessary. Shen Qingqiu glared at the ice demon, adjusting his collar and giving Shang Qinghua’s jagged and bitten finger nails a glare. “...stop asking questions and eat.” And with that Shen Qingqiu began to eat his own breakfast as Shang Qinghua snickered softly and Luo Binghe went back to his own breakfast.