Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“It’s rare to come across someone who’ll change the world as you know it, Hyeok-ah,” his mother whispered, stroking his hair. “This person–they’ll be someone like no other. It’s like you were in a dance your whole life, and the person you were dancing with was them the entire time.”

“How will I know, Mommy?” Su-hyeok said sleepily.

A gentle kiss to his forehead. “You’ll know it when you meet them. But when you do, hold on to them tight.

“And never let go.”

Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to look so cool in front of Cheong-san. Su-hyeok thought unironically. He cringed at the zombies’ grotesque noises of snapping and creaking at the air, and tried to scoot lower behind the desk offering barely any coverage to conceal himself. Curse his long legs he oh-so prided himself over. 

He peeked over the edge of the desk, dropping back down as a zombie with a mullet whipped its head around. Okay, so the doorways were a definite no. There was that weird-ass zombie missing an arm crawling around the floor, and it wasn’t like the hallways were miraculously cleared of all of them.

Su-hyeok cursed again, this time for his impulsive past-self who thought separating from the group was a good plan. Sure, he was athletic, and he wasn’t scared to sock those ugly fuckers in the face, but he was still significantly outnumbered and finding a hiding spot wasn’t exactly easy.

He spied the windows set perpendicular to his side of the room and didn’t think twice. Glancing back over to see if the zombies were looking his way, he got on all-fours and skidded his way across the floor behind another desk, this once thankfully taller. Su-hyeok drew his legs up to his chest, trying not to think about how getting closer to the window meant putting himself closer to that mullet zombie still hissing at the air.

Oh, how Su-hyeok wished he was a cameraman filming some generic, action-packed zombie scene. If only he was in the arms of Cheong-san, or literally in the presence of anyone else that wasn’t a zombie . . . how he wished he knew how they were doing. Did they make it to the science lab safe and sound? Did they lose anyone else? Did Cheong-san–was Cheong-san–

Su-hyeok incinerated those blighted thoughts. He really didn’t need them plaguing his mind as of now. 

They weren’t true anyway. A big group such as his wouldn’t go down so quickly. They had the top two students in their class, including tenacious Dae-su, clear-sighted Cheong-san, and bright On-jo who could hold her own despite her slight stature according to her childhood friend.

(Su-hyeok’s shin hadn’t forgotten her vicious kick from back in their first year after he poked fun at Cheong-san’s monkey-like ear after a mosquito bit it. Even if she did the same earlier.

“It’s ‘cuz she gets privileges for knowing me longer.” Cheong-san told him smugly, still looking unjustly fetching despite the stupid bugbite.

Or the time she cheerily trailed into their class behind a fuming Cheong-san, sporting bruised knuckles and a black eye.

“I ran into a pole, Miss Park! It fought back, y’know.”)

Didn’t she once mention something about her dad being a firefighter? Su-hyeok shuddered. What a scary girl.

He shakily craned his neck around, watching the mullet zombie’s shoes shuffle away. Now or never.

Su-hyeok lurched onto his feet and nearly knocked over some art project balancing on the desk. He caught it but his reflexes didn’t save him as another noise alerted the zombies to his whereabouts.

The armless zombie twisted to look up on him. Ah, fuck me. Su-hyeok hurled the project at him–how the hell did he miss?–and watched it shatter against an overturned desk.

So this is what it feels like to be a piece of meat hanging in front of a pack of dogs.

The mullet zombie ran. Su-hyeok shoved the desk at him, watching it fold as its momentum carried its front half onto the surface. He whipped around to frantically slide the window open and had one foot up on the sill when another zombie smacked right into his vulnerable back. He cried out in fear, but there wasn’t any pain. He threw it off of him, sending a cage storing random equipment down on top of it.

Su-hyeok scrabbled out the window and almost fell to his death for the umpteenth time that day. The second-floor drop to the ground gave him vertigo but between that or the zombies, he’d gladly welcome the former. Trying to shove his panic down, he got his feet under him, and stood unsteadily on the ledge not even the breadth of half a foot.

No time to think about that. Su-hyeok began making his way to his right, and just clambered past an intersecting pillar before the zombies from the art room were snarling at him from the open window. He grasped tightly on the windows’ rails in an attempt to steady himself, the sweat on his hands not helping. Thankfully, the zombies didn’t try to climb after him.

Su-hyeok’s heart felt like it was about to beat out of his ribcage. He groaned in relief. Ah, fuck me.

Now that he wasn’t in imminent danger (debatable), Su-hyeok now just needed to figure out a plan to get out of this compromising position. He was an optimistic person–if he shut his eyes and just ignored the ghoulish sound of those zombies, he could imagine he was simply propped against the wall on a windy day, enjoying the way the breeze felt against his burning skin.

Really, Su-hyeok’s life was perfect. It wasn’t like he was currently living through a zombie apocalypse, ignorant about the status of his friends, standing at the edge of his school’s building like a fly against a wall and very well aware one slip-up could end in his demise.

Su-hyeok exhaled. No use thinking about how his previous, stupid actions led up to this point. He had to get down somehow. There were people waiting for him.

And Su-hyeok had a promise to keep.

He opened his eyes, exhaling again and staring straight-on. He knew he was going to fall if he looked down, so he didn’t. Instead, he began to creep his way sideways, slowly but carefully. Su-hyeok had no destination in mind. Maybe he could find a classroom that wasn’t full of zombies. Maybe he could slide down that pole not too far away and make a break for it once he reached the ground.

Facing the rest of the city in his precarious position, Su-hyeok was reminded of a different time once in his life where he looked out over his city like a primordial being. 

What a different scene it’d been. 

What a different boy he’d been. 

What a turning point the night on July 19th had been, when Lee Su-hyeok was the happiest guy in the world.

“Can’t believe I agreed to this . . . my mom’s gonna wring my fucking neck on a line . . . if we’re caught, this is sooo your fault, you gigantic idiot . . .”

“Shh–hold on.”

“What? What is it?”

“I think I heard something.”

“. . . yah, are you fucking with me?”

“Hah, yeah. Ow–Sannie, stop! You know how long it took for me to do my hair? Shit! Okay, I’m sorry, jeez.”

“Only you would be proud of hair that looks like that. Whatever, shut up and watch where you’re going, Asshole.”

Su-hyeok held onto Cheong-san’s wrist, the two of them on solid ground after going down the stairs at last. He swiftly tugged him along the parking lot, stooping low and staying close to the cars and making Cheong-san do the same.

“Is this really necessary?” He whispered fiercely, his voice achingly close.

“Pssh–of course it is. We wouldn’t want anyone seeing us two juveniles out at midnight, do we?” Su-hyeok jumped as Cheong-san tugged his hair again, and he immediately opened his mouth to complain.

“You make it sound like we’re about to go rob a convenience store.”

“I mean, if you’re suggesting we do–”

“Stop talking, Su-hyeok.”

“Talking stopped.”

They finally made it out of the parking lot of Cheong-san’s apartment complex. Standing there on the sidewalk, breaths mingling, Su-hyeok could finally take Cheong-san in now that they were illuminated by the streetlights.

Nights in summer were always a reprieve from the day’s ruthless heat, but both of them still wore long sleeves to stave off the biting chill that was always present no matter the season. Because of their impromptu hang-out (any planning beforehand consisted of elated texts and illogical but logical reasoning), Cheong-san declared he’d be going out in his pajamas, and Su-hyeok would be an idiot (even more so than he already was) if he left the house looking any different.

Cheong-san’s pajamas were red and checkered-patterned, a set consisting of both a top and bottom and nearly hidden under a coffee-brown coat jacket. Something about his outfit made Su-hyeok more appreciative of their friendship–he’d never seen Cheong-san outside of his school uniform before, let alone dressed like this, all rumpled clothes and tousled hair, and still look gorgeous. He was willing to show this vulnerable side to Su-hyeok. And in doing so, Su-hyeok only thought he should do the same. His pajamas were amazingly comfortable, thick and gray with white stripes, body heat retained in a fur-lined coat.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Cheong-san asked, dimples appearing as he tried to hide his smile. 

Su-hyeok grinned. Just admiring the view. “No. Is there something on mine?”

Cheong-san glanced skywards, cheek bumping out as his tongue poked the inside. It was the face he made when he was thinking, and Su-hyeok very much enjoyed the way the winsome look made his insides all pleasant and warm.

For a moment, it seemed like Cheong-san would give him a serious answer. Then he smirked. “Just your ugly face.”

“Yah!”

The quip carried no heat, and Cheong-san laughed, throwing his head back. Su-hyeok relished in the sound, unconsciously stepping closer and trying not to let his eyelids close. The cool air felt so nice against his skin, and Cheong-san smelled like freshly-washed sheets and summer nights. If Su-hyeok could bottle that smell, he’d keep it with him wherever he went; he didn’t allow himself to dwell on that musing. Why think about how deep his feelings for Cheong-san went when he was literally right there with him? Why waste precious time thinking how Cheong-san had completely skewed Su-hyeok’s perception of the world?

Another time, his mind whispered. Just focus on what’s happening now. And so he did.

Hidden in the shadows created by the streetlight, Cheong-san’s eyes looked so lovely, twinkling like they held stars themselves. It was everything Su-hyeok expected, yet in this setting, they seemed different somehow. Like under this lone streetlight with the moon and stars as their sole witness, those eyes he only saw in the daylight held emotions he could only understand in the dark. Something intensely intimate or intimately intense, but something Su-hyeok could understand with utmost clarity.

Oh, jeez. Did suddenly liking Cheong-san make him more poetic? A cheesy thought like that would’ve normally made him cringe in embarrassment, but Su-hyeok discovered he really didn’t mind all the unfamiliar thoughts and emotions.

Su-hyeok really didn’t mind all these novel things Cheong-san made him experience once he entered his life.

“So?” Cheong-san’s lighthearted forehead flick made him resurface back into reality. “What now?”

Su-hyeok blinked then hummed noncommittally. “Indeed–what now?”

“You mean to tell me you’ve snuck me out of my house at twelve in the morning without any sort of plan?”

Su-hyeok held up his hands. “Yah, don’t blame me. You’re the one who said you wanted to celebrate.”

“I didn’t think you’d go along with it!”

“Dude, how could I ever say no to sneaking out? At twelve in the morning? ”

“Don’t patronize me, Stupid. This is the first time in my sixteen years I’ve ever done this!”

Su-hyeok laughed, lowering Cheong-san’s gesticulating hands by his wrists back down in front of them. If he were a braver man, he would’ve kissed them. “Alright, alright, I hear you, Cheong-san. I do.” He shrugged. “Don’t overthink it. That’s how I like to see opportunities like these–just do what you want to do. If you stop to think, it’ll take the fun out of it.”

Cheong-san looked at their hands hovering in the air, lips pursed. Su-hyeok was still lightly holding his wrists. For a moment, he panicked, thinking he was too obvious in his PDA, and was about to let go before Cheong-san suddenly interlaced them. Su-hyeok held back a sound that would’ve embarrassingly be interpreted as a squeak.

Cheong-san looked back up at him. The twinkle in his eyes seemed to gleam brighter.

“You brought your wallet?”

Su-hyeok wanted to snort, feigning nonchalance even as his blood pressure increased. “Yes, I did.”

“I’m hungry. And I want a burger. A thick, greasy one as big as my head.” He said emphatically, eyes wide.

Su-hyeok smiled at his cuteness. He inclined his head. “Then burgers we shall get, Cheong-sannie–race you there!”

Su-hyeok held the advantage of longer legs, and he didn’t make it easy for Cheong-san. Letting his feet carry him along the empty streets of Hyosan, he threw a look over his shoulder, laughing at Cheong-san cursing as he almost tripped over a weed. Running like this through the blazing darkness, panting with exertion yet also full of energy, Su-hyeok couldn’t seem to stop smiling.

The wind sent pins and needles into his skin. His mouth opened in a laugh, loud and clear and breathless.

Su-hyeok extended his arm towards Cheong-san. The other boy saw his outstretched hand and grabbed it without hesitation. And then the two of them were running alongside each other, their hands warming the space between them. Cheong-san began to giggle in his ear. Su-hyeok joined him.

They were two boys laughing their fools heads off as they dashed through the midnight city, dressed in their pajamas and running like their lives depended on it. They must’ve looked ridiculous.

And they must’ve looked so, so free.

Chapter Text

They arrived at the closest burger joint they could find. At this hour, Su-hyeok wasn’t exactly surprised to find it was still open. Due to some similar excursions taking place during some god-awful hour when he was bored and hungry out of his mind, he knew some places were open 24/7 or simply closed at absurd times.

Their waitress was a college student who looked like she was about to pass out any second, and true to his words, Cheong-san ordered the biggest burger on the menu after they were seated. After some convincing (“do it right now so I don’t look fat.” “but you already are , Sannie–ow, ow! Okay, doing it right now!”), Su-hyeok reluctantly (but not really) ordered the same thing. 

“You have any plans before second semester starts?” He asked curiously as the waitress trudged away with their menus, applying butter on a slice of bread she’d served as appetizers. Su-hyeok had always pondered why some places did this, but he was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

Cheong-san shook his head forlornly. “Not really. Stay in my room, I guess. Maybe study if my mom nags me.”

Su-hyeok waited for him to list more reasons, raising his eyebrow when he didn’t. Hesitantly, he said, “You’re not . . . gonna do anything with On-jo?”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“Uh, I mean,” he fumbled, throat threatening to clog with nervousness. “Aren’t you guys, like–dating?”

There. It was finally out in the open. The question Su-hyeok always wanted to ask whenever he was reminded of the fact about how close Cheong-san and On-jo were. They always came to school together, and Su-hyeok was aware of her rather violent tendencies toward him and Cheong-san’s terse and blunt responses to her, an attitude Su-hyeok never saw reserved for anyone else. 

This behavior Su-hyeok picked up implied their mutual ease around one another. It implied their intimacy that made his chest tighten and made experience jealousy like no other. It made him put a leash on his desire to openly show Cheong-san his affections in order to conceal his true feelings, only worsening when Cheong-san told him how the two of them knew each other since kindergarten and even lived in neighboring apartments.

Now, after three months of pining and envy and so many mixed emotions that drove him up the wall, Su-hyeok finally voiced out the question he dreaded the answer for.

In the middle of buttering his own slice of bread, Cheong-san made a face like someone just told him to dive into a dumpster. “Ew—no. We’re not. She’s like family to me. Like, an annoying younger and older sister at the same time.”

Su-hyeok’s mouth fell open in a silent ‘o’. A wave of overwhelming relief flooded through his veins then, but it still couldn’t drown his confusion. “Hold up—seriously?” Cheong-san nodded. “Oh. I just—I thought—”

Cheong-san sighed, shaking his head. “I swear, people just making assumptions is irritating as shit . Stop thinking I’m dating every girl I interact with. Let me like who I like, damn it.” His actions got particularly aggressive as he slathered too much butter viciously on his toast, gripping the butter knife so tight Su-hyeok was surprised it hadn’t snapped.

“Yah, yah, I’m sorry for assuming, okay?” He tried to mollify, prying the knife from his fingers. “I’m a big idiot for doing it like everyone else.”

Cheong-san looked up at him. “You’re a gigantic idiot.” He mumbled but his face had smoothed over into a slight smile. 

Su-hyeok grinned. “Yes, I am, Cheong-sannie.” He watched him take a bite of his toast, no longer looking violent. Su-hyeok finally processed what this moment meant, and it took every fiber in him not to leap out of his seat and start jumping in joy. He sipped his water to hide it, but something in his eyes must’ve betrayed his sudden elation. 

Cheong-san’s darting eyes conveyed his curiosity in his otherwise stoic gaze. “Why do you look so happy?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Su-hyeok played off levelly. A window of opportunity had shown itself and he’d be even more of an idiot if he let it pass. He was practically on cloud nine, and had the sudden impulse to embrace and kiss and touch Cheong-san. 

But he couldn’t. Well, not yet at least, so he settled for hooking his ankle behind Cheong-san’s and contentedly swinging them together. He looked startled at this but didn’t pull away.

“You could come hang out with me.” Su-hyeok suggested out of the blue. It was a bold move even for him, and normally he would’ve tried to be more subtle. He had his pride after all, but Cheong-san didn’t make him act like this –like a lovesick schoolboy–like all his prior crushes. Liking him made Su-hyeok do and think things he never would’ve in the past.

“Really?”

He nodded eagerly. “Yeah! I mean, I’ll try to study but I probably won’t. You know, ‘cuz I’m busy with things and, um, stuff.”

“Uh-huh, sure, Bare-su.” Cheong-san huffed and tugged his hair again. “I’ll keep that in mind.” As he looked away, Su-hyeok silently fist-pumped discreetly under the table, feeling like he’d just struck a pot of gold.

At that moment, the waitress finally came back bearing their food. The burgers were cut in half for them and double the size of a regular one, dwarfing their side of french fries stacked next to it. Cheong-san’s eyes lit up light fireworks when she laid them out in front of them, and spent nearly a minute ogling at their beauty. Su-hyeok laughed as he whipped out his phone.

“A momentous occasion . . . this thing looks disgustingly perfect . . . a fool if I didn’t show Gyeong-su . . .” Cheong-san mumbled, snapping a picture of their midnight dinner. He stashed his phone away then stared at the burger some more, hands hovering in the air like he didn’t know how to proceed. Slowly, he grabbed one of the halves, Su-hyeok following suit.

“It’s dripping in grease, Dude. God, I’m gonna gain, like, ten pounds after this.” His eyes were as wide as a child finding a ladybug on their shirt.

“I know, right?” Su-hyeok agreed. “It’s gonna taste so good–cheers.” Still captivated, Cheong-san touched his burger to his. In unison, they took their first bite.

Both boys straight up moaned in delight and Su-hyeok laughed so hard he almost choked. He hurriedly stuffed a napkin to his mouth, cracking up as Cheong-san continued to devour the burger like he hadn’t eaten in days. He finished it in minutes, licking the tips of his fingers, pleased. 

“Worth it?” Su-hyeok teased.

“Oh, totally. No regrets,” he took a giant gulp of water before finally deciding to touch his fries. “So how did you do on your finals?”

All joy sapped out of Su-hyeok. He winced. “I, uh, finished them.” Cheong-san tilted his head, giving him a blank look that said really? You’re that pathetic? He sputtered, “B-But my English one was real easy. Honestly! Joon-yeong made sure I was prepared for it!”

“Without him, you’d be dead meat.” His friend rolled his eyes, stuffing three fries in his mouth.

“Without you, I’d be dead right now.” Unusually sentimental for Su-hyeok to say. Oh, well. Not like he hasn’t been wanting to tell him.

“Careful with your words, Bare-su, or I’ll start to think you’re falling for me.” Cheong-san rolled his eyes, smile dropping when he noticed Su-hyeok didn’t joke back. He began to cough, quickly taking a sip of water. Looking at Su-hyeok uncertainly with furrowed brows, he asked, “wait. Are we talking about this? Like, right now?”

Su-hyeok exhaled and nodded his head emphatically. “Yes, we are.”

“You sure, Dude? You don’t really have to explain anything to me–”

“I want to.”

Cheong-san continued to fumble, picking at his finger. “Seriously, don’t feel obligated to tell me why–”

“Sannie, shuddup.” His mouth snapped closed, back ramrod straight and attentive. Su-hyeok licked his teeth and swung their crossed ankles in an attempt to calm his nerves. He took another bite of his burger, trying to gather what to say before he had to swallow because he didn’t like the feeling of chewed food sitting in his mouth. No more beating around the bush. No more bullshit. “First year—first year was a bad time for me.”

“No shit.” Cheong-san muttered, slapping both hands over his mouth at Su-hyeok’s scowl.

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.”

Su-hyeok shook his head in amusement, fingers itching to pinch his friend’s nose. He set his unfinished burger down. “I was really close to my mom and dad growing up. I told them basically everything.” His stomach felt like it was riding a roller coaster. Nonetheless, he clenched his teeth and barreled through his apprehension. “In eighth grade, my mom left. Just–up and left one day out of the blue. No note, no explanation; she left nothing. She drew all of her money out of her bank account, cut off all contact with us, packed her things and—vanished. I woke up in the morning to my dad just standing in front of our house, holding her ring she left behind.” Su-hyeok could recall that moment easily, his father’s haunted look forever imprinted at the forefront of his mind. He’d been twelve then and was at the age where he barely understood the situation. All he knew was he woke up thinking his mom had merely left for work and had to have it plainly explained to him by his father that she’d left for good.

Su-hyeok didn’t go to school for a week. His father hadn’t objected and Su-hyeok suspected he hadn’t noticed even if he did, too caught up in his own turmoil of emotions. 

And what an avalanche of emotions and thoughts they’d been hit with. The house was too stifling to stay in. Everywhere he looked, he’d be reminded of the mother that abandoned him who was unable to erase every trace of herself–the photograph of all three of them when he graduated primary school (jeez, his teeth were so crooked), the window at the back of the house where he used to draw images on the glass with her when he couldn’t put his thoughts into words, her favorite throw blanket folded neatly on the couch with its little apple prints.

Su-hyeok remembered hours where he’d watch the clouds drifting across the sky leisurely, in no hurry to get to their destination. He felt small. People lived their lives, the day continued to go by, the earth continued to rotate, and Su-hyeok was watching everything happen through a listless haze feeling like he was drowning in his own body weight and endless thoughts. He had no explanation, no closure, no consolation–he had nothing. Only comforted by his own confusion, self-pity, grief, and inexplicable rage that hid in the depths of his core, ready to implode like a ticking bomb.

Su-hyeok hated feeling this way, so he focused on the thing that felt like the easiest.

“My mom leaving–it fucked me up. Like, so fucking much, Cheong-san.” He ran a hand through his hair, forgetting the fact that he spent ten minutes trying to make it look good without gel to impress Cheong-san. “M-Maybe she eloped with another man she loved behind our backs, or just got tired of living with us. I was twelve, an-and everything made no sense. I had so many questions, but I couldn’t ask any of it because she wasn’t there to answer them. 

“Sh-She probably had her reasons–but Cheong-san, I fucking hate her for it. And-And I know I shouldn’t because she’s my mom and I’m not supposed to feel this way, but, but–” Su-hyeok’s throat closed up and he shut his eyes, willing the tears to disappear. This onslaught of his emotions left unhandled by his mother’s abandonment had him floundering. After admitting his sinful secret and thoughts he’d never vocalized before, Su-hyeok was fully prepared to be met with judgment and criticism from the first person who heard them like the ones he tortured himself with for so long.

What a shame that person had to be the boy he was infatuated with.

“Look at me,” Cheong-san eventually said. 

Gingerly, Su-hyeok complied. He’d been avoiding his face throughout his entire confession, too scared of what he’d find there. But when he did, Su-hyeok saw that his head was tilted and his eyes looked troubled. Su-hyeok would even go as far to say he looked angry, which was so different from his usually impassive face.

“Fuck her.” Cheong-san replied, his voice final. Su-hyeok’s jaw dropped. “Yah, what a shitty thing to do to your own family. Seriously, who the hell does that?” He watched, nonplussed, as Cheong-san crossed his arms and glared down at his food. Seeing how much he’d loved it earlier, Su-hyeok realized he was getting heated. “God, I’m getting pissed just thinking about it. I wanna hit something.”

This was not what Su-hyeok was expecting in any way, shape or form. He’d never seen Cheong-san show such vehement emotion before, let alone to this extent, except maybe around On-jo. “E-Er, Cheong-san?”

“Shit, sorry–sorry.” Cheong-san rubbed his eyes and exhaled slowly like he was attempting to calm himself down. Tentatively, his hand reached out across the table and Su-hyeok watched with stunned anticipation as he brushed his heated fingers to the back of his hands. On a typical day, Su-hyeok was the one who initiated physical contact, and seeing Cheong-san’s gesture to do it first . . . 

When Su-hyeok looked back up, Cheong-san was looking at him with such a tender look in his eyes, sweet like dripping honey, that he was hit with the emotional urge to cry. 

“You’re not in the wrong for hating her, Su-hyeok.” His voice was hard yet he caressed Su-hyeok’s knuckles so softly. “Even if she had her reasons, that doesn’t mean she could leave her family like that without an explanation. You were her son. You didn’t deserve any of that.” Delicately, he intertwined their fingers and Su-hyeok felt something jumpstart his nerves as if he just touched a wet power socket.

“Really?” He asked quietly. He didn’t know if he should look at their connected hands or Cheong-san’s earnest face.

“Yes,” Cheong-san emphasized with an amused forehead flick. “You being angry and sad and confused is okay. She had one job as a mother, and she broke it.”

Ah. Su-hyeok understood the phrase “thinking someone hung the moon and stars” he’d once read in some book during middle school now. Despite its clicheness, he thought there was something romantically poetic about it: “To consider someone to be extraordinary, the best, or exceptionally wonderful”. 

In contrast to him, Cheong-san didn’t show his emotions often. Or rather, he didn’t talk about it when he did. He’d stew in it for some period of time and “dealt” with it himself. He’d revealed to Su-hyeok he’d sometimes talk to On-jo to sort out particularly difficult feelings, but not as frequently as Su-hyeok was reassured with. He handled it differently. Su-hyeok wore his heart on his sleeve and grew up spilling his feelings to his parents when something was bothering him.

Seeing awkward and emotionally inept Cheong-san stepping out of his comfort zone to try to console him–it made something in Su-hyeok’s chest tug hard at his heartstrings, sweeping him right off his feet and slamming face-first into one irrefutable fact: Lee Cheong-san really was the only one he wanted. And unlike in the past, this didn’t scare Su-hyeok as much as it used to. Craving someone this badly, relying on their presence, thinking about them every moment of the day . . .

It was new to him. And it was utterly divine.

“They’ll be someone like no other. It’s like you were in a dance your whole life, and the person you were dancing with was them the entire time.”

“I was angry–stupidly so.” Su-hyeok continued on, the task not as daunting as it was before now that Cheong-san’s slim hands were holding his. He began to fiddle with them; they were warm and pliant against his and he very much enjoyed this level of intimacy. “I got suspended for fighting in eighth grade a few times. They were a bunch of assholes who didn’t know how to leave me alone. When high school started, it only got worse.” He hesitated then, before admitting with no small amount of reluctance, “It was . . . easy to migrate into Myeong-hwan’s shitty circle and take my anger out there. On other shitty people and”–he swallowed tightly–“innocent ones. Argh, I knew it was wrong, Sannie, but I didn’t care who I hurt at that point. I-I just wanted the anger to go away.”

“I’m happy you were able to get yourself out of that.” Cheong-san said after a moment. 

“Me, too.” Dewy-eyed, Su-hyeok smiled, gripping his hands firmly. “I’m happy you wanted me to be your friend even after what I did.” In his mind, he saw a nervous face accompanied by rosy and dimpled cheeks smiling bashfully at him from three months ago. At that moment, Su-hyeok was pretty sure “So This is Love” from Cinderella had started to play in his head.

“You looked like a kicked puppy.” Cheong-san added matter-of-factly. “Of course I had to ask you.”

“Dickhead.” Su-hyeok grinned and Cheong-san laughed. “When I was apologizing to those I unjustly hurt, Hyun-shik punched me.”

Cheong-san cocked his eyebrow. “Is that why you came into class that day with your nose bleeding?”

“No, that was when I ran into a pole when you sent me that cat meme. He gave me the split lip.”

“Oh, okay. Which meme?”

Su-hyeok snorted, sticking out his tongue. He bit his lip, rearranging his next thoughts. “I wanted to tell you this for a while. I wanted to make you understand why I did what I did. You deserve it after everything you did.”

Cheong-san gazed at him wistfully. “You don’t owe me anything, Bare-su. You were the one who took the first step.”

Su-hyeok’s vision misted. “Still–you really did save me,” he whispered, eyes glued to Cheong-san’s smooth hands. If he was a braver man, he would’ve nuzzled his face against them. “I’m not being dramatic or sucking up or anything. I’m being, like, transparent, I guess.”

Cheong-san snorted. “Don’t start getting all sappy, or I’m really going to start thinking you have a crush on me.”

I do. Get the hint, you stupid, beautiful idiot. He couldn’t say that (not yet at least). Su-hyeok rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. With a fugly mug like yours?”

Cheong-san gaped at him in mock-offense. “Pssh, I’m far from that. Don’t you know what the girls in our grade call me? Pretty. Boy. Who wouldn’t be charmed by me?” He smiled a haughty smile that showed off his glinting teeth and dimples, and Su-hyeok’s insides just about combusted. How deep his feelings for this boy went.

“You conceited bastard.”

“Damn right. Now, hurry up and finish your burger or I’ll eat it.” Cheong-san’s eyes glimmered like stars. “I wanna show you something.”

“Holy fuck– did it get colder?”

“No, you’re just a baby.” Su-hyeok opened his mouth to protest before promptly snapping it close as Cheong-san entwined their hands once again—and this time shoved them in his coat pocket. Su-hyeok almost collapsed in shock, their combined heat blazing up his arm in that small pocket of fabric. 

Well, this was a first. Did nighttime bring out not only Cheong-san’s impulsivity but also this uncharacteristic touchy feely side usually fit for Su-hyeok? If so, he wasn’t complaining even if these touches were becoming progressively confusing. Really, Cheong-san could’ve at least given him a warning prior to giving him a heart attack.

There was no time to marvel and before Su-hyeok could ask where they were heading, Cheong-san was pulling the two of them in the direction they came.

“So.” Su-hyeok attempted. “Any clue on where you’re taking me?”

“Nope.” Cheong-san replied breezily.

“C’mon. Not even a small one?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Then, how ‘bout I guess the locations and you tell me if I’m right.”

He looked at him in exasperation. “Do you know the idea of patience?”

“Um, no, Sannie. I thought you knew this by now.”

“Stop talking before I regret this.”

“Talking stopped.”

The city still alive long after the sun had set was always a scene Su-hyeok could never tire of. On silent nights when his thoughts were getting too loud and his emotions threatened to consume him like it had back in eighth grade, he’d look to his window for solace. The sight of the myriad color of lights lighting up the darkness of Hyosan never failed to relax him in ways cigarette cylinders couldn’t. They were like pulsing fireflies, or those floating lanterns depicted in Tangled Su-hyeok were so enthralled by.

And they reminded him of stars his mother used to tell him the stories of when she was still by his side, laying next to him on the porch as they drank from glasses of lemonade.

As he gazed skywards to catch a glimpse of their twinkle, Su-hyeok wanted to recreate that memory once again. Maybe this time he could tell the story of the constellations to a boy with apple-red lips and stars in his eyes, to a boy who’d taken his world by storm and didn’t plan on letting go.

And maybe this time, they’d last.

Chapter Text

“Yah, Lee Cheong-san, do you know where you’re going?”

“Shuddup–that’s like the tenth time you’ve asked that. Stop doubting me.”

“I do not know how you can even see in this dark. Wait, are you just leading me up here so you can push me off a cliff?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“My feet huuurt.”

“Boo-hoo.”

The halo of light created by the last streetlight grew dimmer and dimmer but Cheong-san’s pace didn’t relent. Su-hyeok could only see a faint outline of his figure, and at this point had long past relied on him for navigating this winding incline. He still hadn’t let go of his hand. 

Up until that point, he’d refused to dwell on the thought that their sneaking out was a date; Cheong-san had intended this to be an outing between friends and Su-hyeok felt wrong for thinking it could be seen as something else. 

But so far, this was nothing like when they were hanging out with their friends after school. They whispered to each other in the dark like little kids, held hands for approximately 80% of the trip, and Su-hyeok told him a secret he’d never thought of telling anyone. He didn’t see Cheong-san as boring, but he definitely didn’t take him to be someone who decided leaving the house without your parents knowing at twelve in the morning to get burgers would be a good idea.

He wasn’t complaining. Su-hyeok hadn’t had so much fun in a while and this new side of Cheong-san only made his attraction for him grow. And the way Cheong-san acted around him–his exciting impulsivity and unexpected tactileness–had Su-hyeok hoping it wasn’t so one-sided.

They stopped abruptly. “Cover your eyes.”

“What?”

“Cover your eyes.” Cheong-san sounded embarrassed. “It’s a surprise.” Albeit confused, Su-hyeok obeyed, using his free hand. Cheong-san resumed his tugging.

“Are you sure you’re not going to push me off a cliff?”

“No.”

“What?” He yelped when he felt a painful flick to his forehead. “Yah!”

“We’re almost there.” It felt like Cheong-san was buzzing with excitement. His hands tightened around Su-hyeok’s. “C’mon.”

Su-hyeok fumbled up after him, coordination even more skewed than before now that he couldn’t see at all. But Cheong-san’s energy was infectious, and he felt his own excitement building.

Cheong-san halted not a minute later, hand steadying Su-hyeok before he could bump into him. “You can look now.” He whispered, voice high-pitched. Su-hyeok let his hand drop, blinking the black dots and sleepiness away, squinting. His mouth fell open and he muttered softly, “oh.”

They stood on a summit of a hill with the sky so close above them, and their sleeping city sprawled out beneath. Those colorful lights within glowed against the dark backdrop of buildings and storefronts and highways, illuminating those narrow alleys and turning streets Su-hyeok grew up in. Gazing down at his beautiful city at this height, he felt . . . heavenly. Su-hyeok felt infinite.

“Pretty dope, huh?” Dazed, he turned his head and was met with Cheong-san’s beautiful smile. “Me and Gyeong-su found this spot when we were screwing around in middle school. It looks great in the day, especially this time of year, but it’s even better at night. There’s my apartment right there.” He pointed down to a cluster of buildings not too far from them, and yes, his apartment was right there, with its parking lot they’d crossed not two hours ago. “It’s really pretty, and I come up here a lot when I’m bored.”

The moon and stars never looked so beautiful as they did in Cheong-san’s eyes, and they crinkled in amusement like he knew what Su-hyeok was thinking. They bored into his, never looking away.

Ah. So this really is love. Su-hyeok licked his lips and in that moment, he wanted to confess so badly, wanted to pour out his soul and spill his guts to his wonderful boy who he couldn’t get out of his head since day one, wanted to lay himself open for Cheong-san to take and take and take. He was ready for the aftermath and its consequences.

“Cheong-sannie,” he breathed, watching Cheong-san perk up. “I-I have a confession to make.”

“What is it?” Cheong-san asked.

But no. If he were a braver man, he would. But Su-hyeok couldn’t do that, because he was still scared of losing this beautiful relationship and scaring Cheong-san away and he knew he couldn’t bear that.

He’d wait. He’d bide his time. He’d observe.

Not yet, his mind warned. You’ll know when it’s the right time. But not now. And so he listened.

Su-hyeok shook his head and gave Cheong-san a tired smile. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

An adorable frown pulled at Cheong-san’s plump cheeks. “You tease. And when is this ‘later’?”

He shrugged. “Only time will tell, I guess.”

Cheong-san didn’t let up his frown. He thumped Su-hyeok’s chest. “You cryptic–theatrical–gigantic–idiot.” He emphasized each word with a heavy thump and Su-hyeok laughed. At this distance, it didn’t take much effort to pull him in a hug. He threw his arms around his shoulders and buried his burning face into his coat. Freshly-washed sheets and summer evenings.

Cheong-san let out a surprised squeak. Timidly, he wrapped his arms around Su-hyeok’s waist and hugged him just as close.

“Su-hyeok?”

“Hm?”

“. . . I’m, uh, really glad you agreed to come out with me tonight. I won’t forget it.” He disclosed nervously. His voice rumbled close to Su-hyeok’s ear. He smiled.

“Me, too, Sannie.” He murmured, hugging him tighter. “I never want this night to end. I’m just–ugh, I’m so fucking happy right now.”

They must’ve stood at the peak of that hill curled together for an hour, or maybe it was just ten minutes or a few seconds. When they made their way back into the city, they walked closely side-by-side and never let go of each other’s hands. They swung around in circles on the way to Cheong-san’s apartment, smiling and laughing so hard Su-hyeok’s cheeks ached and flapped in the wind. The streetlights were like amber lights, and Cheong-san looked so stellar bathed in it.

Panting and rosy-faced and standing in front of Cheong-san’s apartment, Su-hyeok very nearly kissed him goodbye. Maybe in different circumstances, he would’ve. But instead, he put his face into Cheong-san’s hair and held his heated hands tightly for the last time that night before Cheong-san slid away into his apartment, leaving Su-hyeok to stare at his pallid front door where he stood, melancholy and longing for his touch.

Su-hyeok sighed. What a night that’d been, with him and Cheong-san simply existing in that timeless moment and only needing one another. It was such a beautiful night, two adolescent boys reveling in their youth and high on the feeling of love and emotions.

Rejuvenated, Su-hyeok continued in his awkward shuffling with vigor, struggling across another pillar. He wouldn’t let himself die, not until he made sure Cheong-san and his friends were safe and survived this ridiculous apocalypse. He wouldn’t let himself turn and forget the cherished memories he and Cheong-san created together. And he’d be damned if he let himself die now before he could tell Cheong-san the feelings he’d harbored for him for two years straight.

Su-hyeok had a promise to keep. And in due time, he’d make that blasted confession that’d been on his mind ever since the night of July 19th.

But right now, he had to get out of this fly-on-the-wall situation. 

There was another pillar intersecting his path up ahead, this time with that pole he glimpsed earlier running up along the length of it. Su-hyeok cursed. That thing would make it harder to go around. But maybe he could climb down from it and lower himself to the first-floor windows—the path below was clear of zombies . . .

He shook his head. If he were to meet up with his friends, he had to stay on the second level. The science lab had to be close; if only he knew which window led to it. He craned his neck to see around the pole, and saw this rope knotted with loops hanging out the next window over, the bottom ending at the classroom below. Su-hyeok frowned. What the hell was that? Did someone try to climb down to the lower level? It was a smart tactic. Maybe he could use it somehow.

Movement in the corner of his eye grabbed his attention. Someone with long, glossy hair was poking their head out the classroom where the rope ended, and it took him a while to decipher it wasn’t a zombie. Su-hyeok squinted and felt his heart leap. 

“Prez!” He shouted. Choi Nam-ra whipped around to his precarious position, shock clear as day on her otherwise expressionless, pretty face.

“Su-hyeok!” Clamoring and overlapping voices sounded from the classroom she was in, and then more faces he recognized were jutting out from the window. On-jo, Wu-jin, Gyeong-su . . . 

He almost dropped in relief as his friends called out his name in amazement. “Are you guys okay?” He asked through their babel, scanning them for injuries. “Is everyone alive? Cheong-san—is Cheong-san—”

The window from the classroom to his right burst out in a shower of raining glass. Shouts and cries came from his friends. Su-hyeok went to shield his face but his eyes were drawn to the zombies spilling out the window, and a lean figure tumbling out with them.

Cheong-san.

Su-hyeok was forced to watch him fall, helpless, as he flipped through the air, hand futilely outstretched and mouth opening in a shattering scream—

Cheong-san's flailing hands grabbed onto that knotted rope and he slid down before luckily, finally, grinding down to a halt. Su-hyeok’s relief was short-lived—he swore he would’ve killed himself if he had to watch him splat dead onto the ground —as a stray zombie caught hold of Cheong-san’s ankle and held on.

“Cheong-san!” Su-hyeok immediately tried to clamber across the intersecting pole, kissing his teeth in frustration as his foot slipped. 

“Teddy.” The concern and relief loaded into that nickname reserved only for Cheong-san to say had Su-hyeok teetering and he straightened up to his original position. “About time, you gigantic idiot.”

Su-hyeok resorted to banter in an attempt to swamp his increasing panic. “Yah, there’s a zombie on your foot, Moron!”

“Is there?” Cheong-san asked curiously, swinging like a pendulum as the zombies above in the window frame growled and clawed for him. “Silly me, I thought it was a cat that happened to just latch on.”

“D-Don’t act smart with me now, Idiot! Kick her off!”

“Maybe I could if you weren’t distracting me–”

“Yah, Shitheads!” On-jo’s seething voice cut through their conversation and their jaws snapped shut. “Can it with your stupid squabbling and get down here already! Or I’ll leave your stupid asses to get eaten out there!”

“There’s a zombie on me, On-jo!” Cheong-san disputed.

“Well, shove it off then!”

Su-hyeok repressed a shudder. She really was a scary girl. As Cheong-san began to weakly kick at the zombie attached to his ankle, Su-hyeok noted his straining hands clutching fearfully at the rope. They must’ve been singed to hell from trying to stop his descent judging by the painful grimaces on his face.

Su-hyeok needed to help somehow. He gripped the metal pole desperately. “I’ll go down to you. Hold on,” once again he tried to cross over the damn thing and once again he was unsuccessful. His fucking feet kept slipping when he got it on the other ledge.

“Don’t, Teddy.” Cheong-san grunted, and Su-hyeok was alarmed when he heard him whimper as his chafed hands slipped further down the rope. His knuckles were white with exertion. Su-hyeok’s jaw clenched in distress and for the third time, he wrapped himself around the stupid metal pole, trying to find a handhold on the other side. “I said don’t! St-Stay there, damn it.”

“Shuddup for a sec, I got this.” Fumbling, Su-hyeok planted the tip of his toes on the thin metal rung anchoring the pole to the wall, testing if it could hold his weight. It did. “Hold on, I’m coming.”

“It’s not gonna hold us both!”

“I’ll make it hold us both!” He curled his hands around the pole.

“Yah, yah, above you!” Su-hyeok looked up and was met with the bloodied face of a zombie, bent halfway out a third-story window. He blinked, a drip of bloody discharge landing on his cheek. Ugh. He was so gonna break out after all this.

The sight of him made the zombie go into a frenzy, slipping further out the window and Su-hyeok had a moment to think shit, it’s gonna fall on me before coming up with a split-second decision that would’ve killed or saved him. “Duck, Sannie!”

“You’ll know it when you meet them.”

“Teddy–!”

“But when you do, hold on to them tight.”

Su-hyeok bent his knees–

“And never let go.”

–and jumped off the ledge.

She didn’t mean it literally, Stupid. Su-hyeok berated himself after he’d just chucked himself into gravity. How lucky he was to have aimed correctly–he fisted the rope in terror, wincing as his legs smacked into Cheong-san’s back. “Sorry.” His sudden momentum had them swinging wildly in the air, and Su-hyeok was worried Cheong-san was right and they’d both be too heavy for the rope. Instead of falling, it held.

Okay. The hardest part was over. Now comes the other hard part. Su-hyeok took a moment to catch his breath and process what he’d just done—how the fuck did he survive? Then, he fixed his hold on the rope and began to descend inch by inch, thighs flexing to hold onto Cheong-san. “Are you trying to squish me, Moron?” He demanded below him.

“No, I’m helping you, Moron. Don’t let go.” When he got closer, Su-hyeok hooked one arm around Cheong-san’s neck and let go of the rope entirely, landing on his back with a huff.  “Sorry.” He said as the other boy groaned in pain. “Hold on, almost there.” Cheong-san continued muttering expletives under his breath, toward the situation and at Su-hyeok. He continued his awkward descent, maneuvering around Cheong-san’s arms and watching the zombie on his ankle carefully. His pant leg was blood-free, Su-hyeok thought, so it hadn’t bitten him. Finally, he was close enough–he secured his arms around Cheong-san’s waist and kicked at the zombie’s arm still holding onto him insistently, avoiding her snapping mouth as she made those grotesque noises. With one last punt, he kicked her off his Cheong-san and felt some tension release from the rope. Oh, yeah, his friends were still down there too, judging by their commotion as they dodged the falling zombie.

Su-hyeok panted into the back of Cheong-san’s uniform, leaning his cheek on his shirt. He could feel and hear his rapid heartbeat through it. If he closed his eyes and imagined they were on solid ground, he could convince himself this was just another backhug he was giving Cheong-san. Jeez, he was so tired.  

“It’s, hah, sooo your fault we got yelled at.”

The sole of Cheong-san’s shoe smacked into his ass which was an impressive feat of flexibility considering their position. “Stop talking, you stupid bitch. I’m still throwing your gangly headass off the roof.”

Despite everything they’d just been through and what they did, Su-hyeok felt himself smiling. “Come now, Sannie, that’s not fair. I did kind of meet you at the science lab.”

“Us dangling out the two-story window does not count as the science lab–”

On-jo’s stony voice laced with annoyance sounded from below them: “I am this close to shutting the fucking window, you dickshits.”

“H-Hold up, On-jo!” Cheong-san kicked him again. “Yah, start climbing down already so I can put my fist through your teeth.”

Su-hyeok was rather content in this dangerous position but he didn’t dare tell him that. “Can I have a proper hug after?”

Cheong-san turned around to look at him scathingly. “I’ll give you a fucking kiss after, okay?”

“Sounds like a promise to me.”

Their English teacher, Miss Park, was the new addition to their group, Su-hyeok noted, as his friends helped him through the window, and he was grateful there was an adult among them. He didn’t know if she’d been in the broadcasting room before or if they met her in the science lab. No matter–he’d know sooner or later. 

“Are you okay?” The question caught him off guard, considering the fact it came from Choi Nam-ra who had unknowingly sidled up behind him. There was a pinch of worry marring her brow.

“Y-Yeah, I am.” Na-yeon’s shrill voice was demanding them to hurry up and close the window. Su-hyeok tuned her out, turning around to help Cheong-san into the room and wishing he could kiss him breathless now that they were safely reunited. 

As soon as Cheong-san’s feet touched the floor, he launched himself right into Su-hyeok’s chest with unprecedented force, sending them stumbling back into the window ledge. This was the second time Cheong-san had unexpectedly hugged him—but this time, Su-hyeok returned it completely with just as much enthusiasm, lifting him off his feet. 

“I dislike you very, very much.” Cheong-san informed him, voice watery.

Su-hyeok smiled fondly, burrowing closer to Cheong-san. Finally, he was in his arms. “At least it’s better than you hating me.”

“Don’t tempt me, Lee Su-hyeok.”

Under the blood and sweat, Cheong-san smelled like lemons and warm blankets. Su-hyeok hugged him tighter, one arm coming up to cradle his head. “I was so scared not knowing if you were okay.”

“That’s my line, Asshole.” Cheong-san murmured. He held him like he’d disappear at any moment.

Su-hyeok chuckled. “Your hands?”

“It’s nothing,” he pulled back and held his hands so they could both assess the damage. In his periphery, Su-hyeok saw the rest of the group had scuttled off to give them privacy and were huddled around the computer. 

The inside of Cheong-san’s hands were bright red, raw with skin scraped off in some areas. They were hot to the touch. Su-hyeok felt his mouth downturn into a frown as he held them gently. “Why didn’t you climb down earlier, you fool?” 

Cheong-san flicked his forehead. “Stop pouting, Bare-su. You know I had to make sure everyone went down before I did.”

“If I was there, I would’ve made you go first before everyone else.” That made Cheong-san snort in laughter. “Be selfish sometimes. Now–shut up and hold me for a while.” Cheong-san opened his arms readily and Su-hyeok blissfully fell into them.

“Never again.” Cheong-san whispered after a moment, lips brushing against Su-hyeok’s neck. “I don’t wanna split up if we can’t help it. We have to stick together now more than ever.”

“I know. I tried to buy you guys time back there.”

“It helped. A little.” They both laughed softly. “Why exactly were you on the windowsill?”

Su-hyeok shuddered. “Go figure. I was stuck in the art room with this mullet zombie and this crawling one missing an arm. The windows were my best bet.” He hesitated before slowly asking. “. . . I-sak?”

Cheong-san’s arms tightened and he shook his head. “She got bit right before we made it to the lab.” Su-hyeok gazed sorrowfully at On-jo with the rest of the group, noting the tear tracks on her cheeks. The Prez hovered around her, unusually close. “I don’t wanna lose anyone else. I don’t wanna see anyone else sad.”

Su-hyeok sighed into his vest. “You’ve watched a bunch of zombie shit, Cheong-sannie. You know that’s not possible.”

“I know. I don’t wanna think about who we’ll lose next.”

“Then don’t, Baby.”

Cheong-san laughed. “Is that your new nickname?”

Su-hyeok shrugged aimlessly. “Who knows? I think it’s cute. Do you like it?” 

“It’s gross.” With their proximity, Su-hyeok could feel the sudden burst of heat next to his cheek emanating from Cheong-san. He smiled mischievously.

“I think you do.” He took it a step further, pulling back to watch Cheong-san’s reddening face. “So, how about that kiss? Don’t think I forgot about that.”

Cheong-san turned his head away. “I was kidding.”

“Y’know, I was kinda expecting that, but it still hurts.”

“Boo-hoo.”

“Sannie, if you keep turning red like that, I won’t be able to control myself.”

“Fuck off.”

Su-hyeok cupped the sides of his neck and nuzzled his face into Cheong-san’s hair. “Nuh-uh. I like my spot right here next to you.”